01x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

Put that in his drink,
he'll lose this stupid wager,

and all will be well with the world.

I took a bribe to slow him down.

The man said it would send him
to sleep for a day or two.

You'd better hope it doesn't
put him to sleep forever.

Please. Help him.

You really don't remember anything?

No, just some dreams.
Did I say anything?

Estella,
my darling Estella, you came back.

No. Nothing.

I think they were meant
to travel the world together,

but she ended their relationship
and went off on her own.

We're here
because a woman broke his heart.

To have lived the rest of his life
without the woman he loves -

knowing she's out there, and
knowing he'll never see her again.

I'm sick of being the famous
Mr Fortescue's daughter.

I'm going to be a proper writer.

CLOCK CHIMES

OFFICE CHATTER

Still on Calcutta time.

Not bad for 750 rupees.

All right, I will get us some money,
book a hotel for the night

and purchase our onward
tickets to Yokohama.

Look at him,
like a seal returning to the sea.

I've rather missed filling out
forms.

I think I saw that money
order, Mr Fogg.

I'll just go
and check with my manager. Splendid.

Mr Fogg's money order.

Order. Structure. Civility. I think
we're all going to like Hong Kong.

But, first, I'm going to
powder my nose.

I was mistaken, Mr Fogg, no circular
note has come in for you.

Really? I sent a telegram
from Calcutta to my bank in London.

BACKGROUND: Much obliged.

They assured me they would
communicate with you directly.

Perhaps you would like to contact
your bank.

What the hell are you doing here?

You told me the seeds would slow him
down - they nearly k*lled him!

Take your debt.

As I say, I can find no
record of any such communication.

Have you heard the expression,

"If you want something doing,
do it yourself"?

The man's name is Fogg,
career criminal,

masquerading as a gentleman -
fraud, embezzlement, theft.

Whatever you do,
don't give him any money.

Without money,
he can't leave Hong Kong.

When the warrant arrives,
I will arrest him

and I'll make sure your name is
mentioned in the highest of places.

The highest of places.

Well, this is somewhat irregular,

but I would do my duty, of course,
Inspector.

Lovely day, Monsieur.

I have hotel rooms to pay for,
onward tickets to buy.

You'll just have to advance me
some money on account.

I'm afraid we can't do that, sir.

As soon as I hear from London,
the money will be available to you.

Tiny fly in the ointment - no money
until they've heard from my bank.

Until then, we'll have to rely on my
wits to find us food and lodgings.

I'm not a fussy woman,
as you both know,

but can we please find a hotel with
a bath the size of Shropshire?

Shropshire?

Erm, do you want to break it to her,
Passepartout, or shall I?

Break what to me?

Hong Kong. The commercial heart
of the Orient

and I don't have two pennies to rub
together.

I know a place,
it won't cost anything.

You've been here before?
Did you know this, Mr Fogg?

Passepartout is
a man of endless mystery.

That's one word for it.

Mr Fogg? Yes.

Mr Phileas Fogg? Hello.
I am your biggest admirer.

Oh. Oh, and yours, Miss Fix.

Mr Fogg was already
the talk of the colony, but then...

Forgive me,
I am Lady Clemency Rowbotham,

my husband is
the Governor of Hong Kong.

Charmed, Lady Clemency.

Have you ever met an actual
Governor before?

I don't believe I have.

Then come and meet mine!

Henry!

I want you to meet some
new friends of mine.

Must I?

I have a meeting in ten
minutes about the Jockey Club.

Please, darling, for me.

This is the great Phileas Fogg,
explorer and English lionheart.

Miss Abigail Fix, his chronicler.
And his manservant...

..Passport.

He's the chap you've been
going on about? Uh-huh.

On behalf of Her Majesty's
administration,

a wholehearted welcome
to our humble colony.

Are you shopping or playing bridge?

Neither. I shall be arranging
the garden party, of course.

What garden party?

The one you are throwing
for the intrepid Mr Fogg

and his friends.

Just imagine how delighted they'll
be in Whitehall

when they hear that you've
entertained England's latest hero.

Yes, yes, of course, Mr Fogg!

You shall indeed
be my guest of honour.

Well, how splendid!

Well done.

LOUD CLAMOUR

Where exactly are you taking us?

I have an old friend
who runs a hotel here.

Why didn't you say you've
been in Hong Kong before?

It was in another life.

But what were you doing here?

I was on a ship that
put in for repairs.

You were a sailor? When I arrived.

And when you left?

I was...no longer a sailor.

You really can be an extremely
infuriating man.

Are we there yet? Soon!

We have somewhere to stay.

This is it?

This is it, Monsieur.
Choosers cannot also be mendicants.

Beggars. Um...I think
two bedrooms were mentioned?

Lovely.

Indeed it is. Cosy. Authentic.

Thank you very much, thank you.
Well done, Passepartout.

Erm, erm...

I think I'll go back to the bank
and hound that clerk

until he hands over the money.

My money, so...

Very good.

A bientot.

Where are you going?

To see an old friend.

You stay here, Miss Fix,
you'll be quite safe.

What are you doing following me?

Interesting things happen
when I follow you.

You really can be
an infuriating woman.

Don't want me
to meet this "friend" of yours?

No, I don't.
Geisha, is she?

Not unless I'm walking to Japan.

Oh. My. Giddy. Aunt.
What is it?

My article!

My father printed it.
Printed it and syndicated it!

Why are you so excited?
He always prints your articles.

Not like this.

He's never printed anything
like this before in his life.

"I hope not only that he meets his
own ambition,

"but that he finds solace in our
extraordinary adventure."

What do you think?
Be completely honest.

Unless you hate it, of course,
in which case please lie profusely.

I think it's engaging.

Thought-provoking.
Very well-written.

It makes me see Fogg in a different
way, a more complex way.

I can hear your voice in it.

Thank you, Passepartout.

I would advise you to destroy
every copy in Hong Kong.

What do you mean?

He is the most private man
I have ever known.

To have his innermost secrets
read by friends and strangers...

"This venture may prove to be a
voyage to heal a broken heart.

"His yearning is less for escapades,
than for escape."

I haven't written anything that
isn't the truth.

Exactly.

He's going to hate me, isn't he?

Depositors - that's me -
give the bank - that's you -

their money to look after

and to lend to other
people at a rate of interest.

A percentage of that interest comes
back to the depositor,

everybody is very happy.

Please, Mr Fogg, your circular note
has not yet arrived.

Now, if you'd move aside...

But sometimes the said
depositor - again, me - wants to

take some of their money out.
Their money. Are you following me?

That time is now. I...

As my colleague has informed you,
Mr Fogg, no circular note, no funds.

No exceptions.

Well, I shall just have to ask
my friend the Governor for a loan,

at the party he is throwing for me
this very day.

And when he asks me why I couldn't
just get my own money,

from my own bank...

..I shall tell him.

As soon as we have money,

we can get him out of Hong Kong
before he reads it.

Working on it, Miss Fix.

I'm going back here to see my old
friend for a private conversation.

A private conversation that
you do not need to hear,

you do not make notes on, you do not
publish in a national newspaper.

Is that clear?
As clear as day.

Ironically, the best in Hong Kong.
Do not move.

The article will be widely read
and people will applaud him.

For the first time in his life,
he will be truly lauded.

He will thank me.

LOUD BANGING

DOOR SHUTS AND LOCKS

I also hear you've been busy.

Travelling with the famous
adventurer, Phileas Fogg.

I am. However, we find ourselves
delayed by a lack of funds.

You've come to me for money?

A loan only -
to pay for passage to Yokohama.

It would be repaid in a matter
of days.

Your master dines with the Governor
today, I understand.

His wife, Lady Clemency, is in
possession of a magnificent jewel.

The White Dragon.

Carved out of rare white jade
in the Shang Dynasty,

when the British were still
living in huts.

They stole it from my ancestors'
grave.

It was wrapped around their fingers,
and still they took it.

Why are you telling me this?

Because you, my friend...

..are going to steal it back for me.

You know me as a thief,
Jiang Liei...

Not a thief, Passepartout!
A great thief.

That way of life is behind me now.

If you want to steal the jewel,
steal it yourself.

Do you think I haven't tried?

Strangely, Chinese entrepreneurs are
not invited to Government House.

I've tried without an invite,

but the place is as secure
as the Tower of London.

I need money but I will not steal.
Not any more.

Then you are of no use to me.

And a man that is of no use to me...

RAISED VOICES OUTSIDE

DOOR BANGS

How can one of the oldest
civilisations on Earth not

have invented the fork yet?

Oh, hello.
You must be Passepartout's friend.

And you must be Miss Abigail Fix,
the celebrated journalist.

Yes, the one who was told to wait
outside.

You're far too kind.
We must go.

Of course! You must not
let the Governor wait.

It was so nice to meet an old
friend of Passepartout's.

The pleasure was all mine, Miss Fix.

Will I see you again before you
leave, old friend?

No, I don't think you will.

Hong Kong can be a dangerous place
for unwary travellers.

Look after yourself, Passepartout.
And look after Miss Fix.

So, according to Abigail, Fogg has
kept a candle burning for that

ridiculous woman for over 20 years!

Why would you even print this?
There are no facts or figures.

It's just...rot.

I actually think it might be
a new sort of writing - thoughtful,

questioning, and
unapologetically subjective.

It's a new kind of rot.

I think your daughter's written
a very fine article, Fortescue.

Romantic.

What you know about romance,
Fellentin, could be

written on a grain of sand.

Thank you, Fellentin,
that means a lot.

"Underneath that reserve and routine
is a kind, perhaps brilliant

"man who many years ago was
disappointed by the love of a young

"woman, the mysterious Estella, and
has yet remained faithful to it."

You do realise that Fogg is going to
blow his brains out

with embarrassment when he reads
this, don't you?

I hope this is going to work,

Passepartout, I have to
look at my absolute best.

One thing you should know
about the English upper classes -

if you look like a man who needs
money,

they'll never give you a penny.

Look like a man who doesn't,
and they'll throw the stuff at you.

It is ingenious.

Yes?

How are you doing in there,
Miss Fix?

We can't keep the Governor waiting.

It's too much, isn't it?

Absolutely not! No.
Tell her, Passepartout.

Like a diamond in front
of some pigs.

Pearls before swine, Passepartout.

Right. I shall get dressed
and then we can go to my party.

Get ourselves a loan.

Look at the security -
it's like Buckingham Palace.

Stop there, please.
Now, once we're in,

let me do the talking.
Oui, monsieur.

Your articles certainly get us into
the best places, Miss Fix.

Still, let's make this as quick as
we can.

Let's just stay for one drink, OK?

QUIET CONVERSATIONS

Ladies and gentlemen, they're here.

APPLAUSE

Thank you, thank you so much.

Mr Fogg, Miss Fix.

Passport.

Miss Fix, may I say
how spectacular you look?

That must be one of the saris
from the Indian village.

It is, yes.
How do you know about...?

On behalf of Her Majesty's
administration,

a wholehearted welcome
to our humble colony.

For God's sake, Henry,
you've done that bit.

He has the memory of a senile
turbot, I do apologise.

Welcome to Hong Kong, Mr Fogg.
We can't wait to hear your stories.

Thank you.

This is Peter Donaldson,
of the Hong Kong police.

And Lord Crossley, Chief Magistrate.

Thank you, Sir Henry, this really is
terribly kind of you.

I'm afraid you'll have to start with
the men, Mr Fogg,

which means you'll have to listen
to my husband talk about horses,

public houses and cheese.

Please, call me Phileas.

But we ladies will get our piece
of flesh later, don't you fear.

She's read the article! I'm doomed.

A votre sante.

I wouldn't knowingly hurt that
man for the world.

We get the money

and we get Fogg out of here before
he reads your article.

Thank you, Passepartout.

And then India?

Indeed, yes.

Ghastly place, so I'm told.
Oh, no.

But the bank in Calcutta did
spectacularly fail to do what

they said they were going to do.

And talking of banks...

Good God, Anderson, have you joined
the Temperance Society?

Come back with the jug, man.

What I thought was remarkable
about this piece, Miss Fix,

was not so much that Mr Fogg had
undertaken this

journey for unrequited love...

Although we did very much
like that bit.

What I found astonishing,
and just so moving,

was that he entrusted you
to tell his story to the world.

PHILEAS: ..Japan, which I'm very
much looking forward to,

the United States of America

and then, hopefully, back to London
in time for Christmas.

London at Christmas.
I hope you do it, Fogg.

Imagine the faces of the French
and Germans

when they hear another Briton
got there first!

Where are you
staying in Hong Kong, Fogg?

Passepartout...!

You were
a waiter at the Reform Club!

Me, monsieur? Are you sure?

More of a White's man, myself.

Father always said the Reform
were a bunch of radicals.

Radicals?

We'll talk about this later,
Passepartout.

I asked where you're staying,
Fogg.

Ah, therein lies a story.

I went to the bank this morning

and there had been some
sort of mix-up with London.

Words I could have
carved on my gravestone.

So I find myself -
through no fault of my own -

somewhat fiscally embarrassed.

Now, my man found us

some extremely modest
accommodation in a place called...

..um...what's it called?

Tai Ping Shan, monsieur.

Tai Ping Shan? Good God, man!

That's like spending
a night in Bethnal Green.

I'll loan you the money, Fogg,
that's all there is to it.

Oh, I couldn't possibly.

You have no choice in the matter.

Anderson, Anderson! Go to the house
and fetch a money order.

I will help him.

Shall we go and
rescue your Mr Fogg?

I think he's more than happy
talking to your husband.

I don't think anyone has ever said
that sentence before.

Oh, too cruel, Clemency!

My husband is a good man. A loyal
and kind man, in his own ways.

But he hasn't got a romantic
bone in his body.

Now, the Dove down by the Thames
in Hammersmith does an excellent

ale, a very passable
bit of Blue Vinny

and has a barmaid called Gwen,
who has dimples!

Your money order, sir. What?

One money order. One pen.

I don't think they can serve
Empire and Eros at the same time.

Let's go and talk to Mr Fogg.
Shall we?

How much do you want, Fogg?

This is very kind of you, Sir Henry.

The chap who wrote Rule Britannia
used to drink in The Dove,

not a lot of people know that.

No, well, a night in a half-decent
hotel,

three onward tickets to
Japan, I suppose...

# The nations,
not so blessed as thee

# Must in their turn to tyrants
fall... #

HE MUTTERS LYRICS

I trust the pen has ink, monsieur?

Yes, yes!

Mr Fogg? Yes?
The ladies require your presence.

Yes, of course.

It's absolutely superb,
Lady Clemency.

When they were digging
the foundations for this house,

they found it in a grave.

It's
the White Dragon of Hong Kong.

So, who are you backing this season,
old chap?

Wouldn't you like to know, Crossley.

Tell me about that young colt you've
just bought.

Well, I was hoping we might break it
in this spring,

but then the trainer tells me the
beast is a warm blighter.

When they opened up the grave,
they found the skeletons of a man

and a woman.

Even after all these centuries,
they were still holding hands.

How extraordinary.

Would you mind, Mr Fogg?

Yes, of course.

That puts even your fidelity
into perspective, Phileas.

Let me show you the pergola.

If you could just sign this,
Sir Henry, we will be on our way

and out of your hair.

God! You listen to this.

Every woman here would love to be me
at this moment,

on the arm of a man who knows
the power of love.

"At first I believed Mr Fogg to be
a new kind of Victorian adventurer,

"grasping at achievement. The truth,
however, is that what drives

"Mr Fogg is less ambition than
heartbreak."

But every woman here knows
she doesn't stand a chance,

that your heart is elsewhere
and it always will be.

Heartbreak?

Let me see that, Donaldson.

Indeed? Where would that be?

With Estella, of course.

DRAMATIC SCORE

She's told him - I'm lost.

If you could just sign this, sir.

Would you go away?!

How do you know about that...lady?

I read Miss Fix's article,
like everyone else here.

I suppose we really should think
of making a move - big day tomorrow.

What article?

You really don't know?

Would you care to hear it, Fogg?

I was going to tell you.

It's just words on a page, monsieur,
nothing more.

"Underneath that reserve and routine
is a kind, perhaps brilliant

"man who many years ago was
disappointed by the love of a

"young woman, the mysterious
Estella...

"..and has yet remained
faithful to it."

May I?

She stitched you up like a kipper,
Fogg.

Indeed she has.

Miss Fix is quite right,

we have a lot to do before we sail
for Yokohama in the morning.

Thank you for your hospitality.

Where is Passepartout?
He was just here. Passepartout?

Does he know about this too?
Mm-hm.

Then he can walk home.

We have offended you.
I'm mortified!

Cheerio, Fogg. Haven't enjoyed
one of these so much in ages.

Oh, shut up, Henry! Phileas,
please, don't go like this!

Goodbye, Lady Clemency.

Please, let me explain.

I have been humiliated by masters of
their trade, Miss Fix,

yours are the dizzy,
dizzy heights of betrayal.

But every word is true!

Every word is private!

You took my innermost feelings,

feelings you tricked
and stole from me...

I didn't steal!
..and you offer them

up to the world without having
the decency to even tell me first.

I was waiting for the right moment.

Oh, is Government House in Hong Kong
right enough for you?

After what we'd been
through in Yemen and India,

I thought you were my friend.
I AM your friend!

You do know your father and Bellamy

and the rest will be having a jolly
good laugh about this?

I am sure they will do no
such thing.

Well, then you know even less about
the world than I thought you did.

Lady Clemency read it and she...

Don't speak to me,
don't even look at me.

SNORING

QUIET CREAKING

QUIET CLICKING

UNLOCKS

CLANKS

Pint of Old Peculier and a pickled
walnut. Thank you, Gwen.

MUSIC BOX PLAYS

HE BLOWS SOFTLY

LOUD CREAK

SNORING

Oh, it's you.
Of course, who did you think it was?

DOOR CLANKS OPEN

Passepartout. I didn't think
I'd be seeing you again.

The White Dragon.

Once a thief, always a thief.

Goodbye, Jiang Lei.

BANGS DOOR

Passepartout...

..leave Hong Kong.

A fraudster and, by all accounts,
a thief to boot.

Just the thought of such a man being
a guest in your house, Sir Henry.

I know I gave the detective my word
but...

Where is this detective?

Lying low and waiting for his arrest
warrant, no doubt.

Well, Fogg got no money out of me,
though he tried hard enough.

Henry! Henry!

What on Earth's the matter?

The White Dragon. It's gone!

How many times do I have to say it?

I should have consulted
you before I sent the article...

Stow our bags on the Carnatic,
Passepartout. I'll go to the

bank and get the money
and buy the tickets.

..but it's not MY fault
if the truth hurts.

With a bit of luck, they'll only
have two berths left.

If you sign me a chit,
monsieur, I can go to the bank

and get your money.

Oh, yes, but can you be trusted,
Passepartout?

When I interviewed you in London,
I distinctly remember asking

if we'd met before.
It was a just little lie, monsieur.

Yes, well, the trouble with little
lies is that they rapidly become

bigger lies...

Donaldson? What on Earth is
the meaning of this?

This is a warrant for your arrest.

My arrest?

How dare you!

I will speak to the Governor
about this! It's an outrage!

And I will write about it
in the Telegraph!

I have never been
so humiliated in my life.

Where is it?

Where is what?

The White Dragon.

I have no idea!
Sir...

Yesterday, you said you had no
money.

I didn't! I don't!

You've sold the White Dragon
already?

I have absolutely no idea
what you're talking about.

For God's sake, Rowbotham!
I haven't stolen anything!

You will rue the day you
made my wife cry, sir.

I am not a thief!

You are making the most terrible
mistake! Do you hear me?

I don't care about losing the wager
but I AM NOT A THIEF!

We'll get you out, Mr Fogg!
I promise!

Passepartout...

What is going on? Tell me!

I want to see Jiang Liei, now!

What has this got to do with...?
JIANG LIEI!

You will tell me what is going on,
and you will tell me now.

KEYS JINGLE

DOOR OPENS

On your feet.

I want to see a lawyer.

Hmm...

One more time, Fogg -
who did you sell it to?

I have told you.

The last time I saw
the White Dragon,

it was around Lady Clemency's neck.

If you think I won't flog you,
you are very much mistaken.

Flog me?
Flog.

I am entitled to a trial.
I am an Englishman.

This is not England.

This is Hong Kong.

You stole the White Dragon?

Keep your voice down.

You stole it and let Mr Fogg take
the blame? It's not what it seems.

You heard what they said!
He's going to prison!

Argh!

Why would you do such
a shameful thing?

Because we needed money to buy
the tickets to get to Japan.

And because I am a great thief.
I don't believe you.

Jiang Liei said he would give me
money

if I stole the pendant for him.
I thought we would be on the ship

and away from here before anybody
even noticed it had gone missing.

They're not going to send him
to prison.

Oh, thank God!

They are going to flog him at noon.

12 strokes at 12 noon.

I'll go to the bank,
his money might be here by now.

It won't be there and, if it was,
they wouldn't give it to you.

Then I'll wire my father.
There isn't time.

Then what do you suggest?
You got us into this mess!

I'll tell Sir Henry I stole
the White Dragon,

it had nothing to do with Fogg.

And then what?

They'll arrest you
and make an example of you.

And it won't be a few lashes.

DOOR OPENS

Mr Fogg hates me at the moment, and
for all I know may hate me forever.

But he is as far from being
a thief as any man I have ever met.

To have him flogged for something
he didn't do would be barbaric.

He is a hero, whatever you may
think, and he does not deserve

to be beaten for something
he did not do and would never do.

Have you finished?

Good.
Now, get out.

Go on, Miss Fix.

Clemency. There's no need to upset
yourself further...

Many years ago, Phileas Fogg
made a mistake.

He followed duty and expectation,
when he should have followed love.

But he had the courage to realise
the folly of that mistake,

to undertake this
extraordinary journey,

to prove to himself that dreams can
sometimes defeat expectations.

He still stole the White Dragon,
and that's the end of it.

He didn't steal it. I did.

Passepartout...

I wasn't prepared to
let his dream end here.

I stole it and sold it.

Sold it to the family it once
belonged to.

I'm sorry, madame.

Then you will rot in prison.

No, I beg you!
He made a mistake, but only...

I gave the White Dragon to my wife
as a token of my deep love

and respect for her.

And you come into my house...

Henry...

I know you follow me
around the world without complaint.

I know it's a life of restraint
and duty.

I never had much in the way of words
to give you, Clemmie...

..but I had the White Dragon.

Let Phileas Fogg go, Henry.

But your dragon...

I never wanted to hurt your
feelings,

but I've never really felt
comfortable wearing it.

It wasn't my love story.

And besides...

..I have my own.

DOOR OPENS

DRAMATIC SCORE BUILDS

Out of the way!

Beautiful morning for an ill*gal
flogging, Donaldson.

Try to keep the crease,
there's a good chap.

You think this is funny, Fogg?

Not in the slightest.

There is nothing funny about being
flogged for something you know

you didn't do.

CLOCK TICKS

STOP!

BELL TOLLS
We have a pardon from the Governor.

Please!

Here, here, take it!

Please. Release him!
Go, please.

TICKING AND TOLLING CONTINUES

NO!

Stop! Stop!

Release him.

It's going to be all right,
monsieur.

All right...

SHIP'S HORN

Welcome aboard the Carnatic, sir.

Thank you.
I'm going to my cabin.

I'll unpack for you, monsieur.

No, thank you.

A refreshing drink?

I won't need either of you
until further notice.

I want to be on my own.

I should have said I was sorry.

I should have told him the truth.

Not so secret now, Estella.

May I join you?

Have you ever heard the expression,
"If you want something doing,

"do it yourself"?

I'm familiar with it, of course.

Why do you ask?

I think we should go for a little
walk, Mr Fogg.

I don't want to go for a walk,
I'm rather busy.

Besides, we're in the middle
of the Pacific Ocean.

And that, Mr Fogg,
is why we're going for a walk.

c*ck g*n