01x06 - The Woman Who Solved Her Own m*rder

[bunniefuu]

[police siren blares]

[sighs]

[police radio chatter]

Oh, man, I love it up here.

You been camping?

[sighs] Look at me, Detective.

I look like I want to sleep
on the f*cking ground?

[chuckles] Well, my dad used to take us
every summer.

[chuckling] He-- He once left me alone
for 24 hours. Didn't say anything.

Just walked off one day
to see if I had the survival skills.

Ah, must be why
you're so well-adjusted. [grunts]

Just saying, I'll take you if you want.

I'm not going camping with you, Durst.
Spend enough time with you as it is.

[Durst sniffs]

I like the bunny ears. Kinky.

- Take notes.
- [sighs]

Looks like she was dragged.

Sharp force trauma to the neck.
It looks deep.

No blood pool.

No. She was cleaned up.

Somebody wanted it to look pretty?

Certainly came prepared.

[detective 2] Yep. [sighs]
Knew what he was doing.

[Durst] Or she.

[detectives continue, indistinct]

[breathing heavily]

[detective 2]
She didn't, um, put up a fight.

Hey…

Hey, can you guys hear me? He-Hello--

[gasps]

Okay, none of this makes any sense.

I was camping, and then…

I don't know what happened.

- I-I-I was fine and then--
- A weird sex thing gone wrong?

[ghost]
Hey, can somebody please cover me up?

It's a weird outfit for camping.

[scoffs] Yeah, I don't think
she was camping.

That's not what I was wearing. I-I wa--

- Stripper, maybe?
- I'm not a stripper.

- Dragged out here.
- I'm not…

- There were the, uh-- the assaults…
- I need--

…at, uh, Juicy Lucy's last month.

What is happening?

Did you get these numbers in her arm?

- What numbers?
- What numbers?

There are numbers carved into her arm.

- 551143.
- [Durst] God, f*ck. Five, five--

[detective 2 sighs] It's not enough digits
for a phone number.

[Durst] Could be a Bible reference?

[detective 2] Oh, my God, j--
You and the Jesus thing.

[Durst] f*ck you.
The Bible reference, it's an idea.

Oh, my God. [sniffles]

Who would do this? This is…

Why am I still here? That's--

[gasps] Oh, ow.

It's like I'm having the worst period
of my life. Oh, f*ck.

Jesus Christ. What limp d*ck is running
this sh*t show?

Hi.

Carole Andrews
from the county sheriff's office.

Thanks so much for coming up.

- Hi, I'm Detective Chris Durst.
- Hi.

This is my partner,
Detective Bobby Bronson.

- You the one who found the body?
- No. Well… [stammers] …kind of.

Uh, a hiker found her, and I got the call,

so technically I didn't find her,
but I did radio for assistance

since we don't have the manpower
for this kinda thing.

It's my first m*rder.

I can walk you through
what I found so far--

Where'd you get that coffee?

- This?
- Yeah, the one in your hand.

Uh, there's a little general store
right up the road.

[Bronson] How about this?
[inhales sharply] Grab us a coffee.

While you're at it,
get this area roped off properly.

I want a 20-foot perimeter
around the body,

another ten feet after that.

Get these f*cking squad cars out of here,

'cause they're probably destroying
a whole bunch of f*cking evidence.

Almond milk, two sugars.

You got it, Detective.

[Bronson inhales deeply, sighs]

[ghost sighs deeply]

Oh, my God.

[ghost sighs]

[Bronson sighs]

It's annoying
that you're actually kind of attractive.

Okay, maybe I'm still here
because I have unfinished business,

like in that movie Ghost
with Patrick Swayze.

Wait, he talks to people, right?

How's he do it?
He, like, finds Whoopi Goldberg.

Okay, I need my Whoopi Goldberg.

[shouting] Hello?

Is anyone here my Whoopi Goldberg?

Hey. You seem distracted today.

[ghost]
Yeah, he's traumatized. I'm traumatized.

- It's my wife's birthday.
- [ghost] Oh.

- Well, ex-wife.
- That doesn't seem relevant.

- You gonna call her?
- Nah. [sighs]

- It's complicated.
- Kind of in the middle of something.

You don't have to run, Carole.

Waited this long for caffeine.
What's a few more minutes?

Patrol just dropped this off.

They were sitting on a car
about half a mile away registered to a…

- Rebecca Moss.
-…Rebecca Moss.

[Becky] That's me.

[Durst] Wow, that's her.

Can we take a minute
to acknowledge the real tragedy?

- I was clearly in my prime.
- [chuckles]

- You think ID'ing a dead girl is funny?
- No.

No.

I-It's just, who gets a blowout
and contours their face

before a trip to the DMV?

- Wow.
- [Durst] Con-- Contour.

You live with your license photo
a long time, Carole.

- Unless you die.
- Okay, okay. [sniffs]

Oh, uh, hey.

You know how women like
to go to the bathroom together?

You're gonna stay with the body.
Girl time.

Take good care of my body, Carole.

And contouring takes like two minutes.
I'd show you, but, you know, I'm dead.

[Carole inhales deeply, sighs]

Oh.

[Bronson] God.

- [yelps]
- [car door closes]

Okay. Where are we headed?

[engine starts]

This place is a dump.

Yeah, but it was my dump.

God, I'm gonna miss it.

Been meaning to finish this bookshelf
for over a year.

Thought if I went back and got my degree,
I'd have books to actually put on it.

I guess that's not happening now either.

- Got a lot of true crime here.
- [Bronson] Chicks love that sh*t. [sighs]

[Durst] Can you not talk like that?
It's disrespectful.

[Bronson] Okay, Mister "I love my mom
and my wife and my daughters."

[Durst] You say that like it's a weakness.

[Bronson] I just think if someone's
kissing you goodbye in the morning,

telling you to go out
and make the world a better place,

you're living a fantasy.

[Durst] Better than being a jaded as*h*le

who has to numb himself on a daily basis
just to do his job.

[Bronson sighs] You calling me an as*h*le?

[Durst chuckling]
Hey. Just using my powers of observation.

This is such bullshit.

I had a life. I had friends.

What, now I'm just going to have PMS
for all eternity?

Whoa! What the f*ck?

- Keep your hand out of my head, okay?
- [Bronson sighs]

[chuckles] Oh, bingo.

Huh, looks like she was hiding her stash
from someone.

Yeah, don't be such a judgmental narc.
It's weed, not heroin.

Don't-- f*ck. [sighs]

What? Helps me focus.

Puts me in touch with the cosmos.

[Durst] It makes you grumpy,

and then I gotta be the one
to lie to forensics.

So don't look.

All right. I guess I'm gonna go
into the bedroom again to do my job.

God, that smells good.

Come on, Detective.

You can't even feel my presence?
Even just a little bit?

How about this?

[blows]

[spits]

[inhales deeply] Can't even flirt.

This is the worst.
This is my literal hell.

- [Durst] Laptop.
- Oh, I never use that.

Actually, so-- so--
You know what, what's your take?

I mean, w-w-what's the weed telling you?

Yeah, Bronson. We're all curious.

Girl's a knockout, obviously.

Oh, finally, a fact.

But… [coughs] …beyond looks,

she hasn't got much else going on.

No close relationships,
no family photos anywhere.

So she's probably a waitress
or a bartender somewhere.

- [Durst] Huh.
- Nice try, Sherlock. I'm a phlebotomist.

And I have a brother.
He lives in Wisconsin.

No food. Just ice cream and wine, so, uh…

I'm thinking she's bulimic.
Or an alcoholic.

Maybe both.

Oh. You ever met a girl going through
a breakup before?

She's out there camping.

Trying to clean herself up.

Having one of those
Eat Pray Love weekends.

Then this psycho thru-hiker
comes out of the woods,

sees a hot girl,

probably tries to hit on her.

When she says "no", he goes Gothic on her.

[Durst] Hmm.

Knocks her out, slits her throat,
strips her down to her underwear

and-- and… [stammers]

[inhales deeply] …carves
some random numbers into her

to make it look like
some kind of ritual thing.

Or she's a prost*tute.

Okay, I'm not a prost*tute.

I'm just a broke, slightly depressed girl
who recently got dumped.

What happened to Mister
"I respect all women. I love my mom"?

- Oh, my God. Todd.
- Hey, prostit*tes are some of

the most vulnerable women in our society.

It's f*cking Todd.

We were together three years.
W-We broke up two weeks ago.

[chuckles] Hey, freebie.

- f*cking Todd.
- The password right here.

[Becky] I will k*ll him if he k*lled me.

He was obsessed with that--
that frigging reality show

about knives on the History Channel.

You know,
it's like blacksmiths making weapons

and chopping sh*t up with them.

- It's basically school for murderers.
- Wow. Wow.

[Durst] Maybe a bear did it?

Oh, hey.

Lot of emails
from someone named Christina.

[Bronson grunts]

- Take your time.
- [sniffles] Sorry.

[sobs]

Aren't you guys supposed to be wearing,
like, trench coats or something?

Don't believe
everything you see on TV, kid.

Well, uh, I hope you solve
this thing soon.

My sister's a mess.

I'm supposed to be
the one babysitting him.

Not the other way around.

He seems a little old for babysitting.

Yeah, tell that to our parents.

Do you need anything?

No, I'm fine.

It's my fault.

- It was my idea for her to go camping.
- Oh, honey, no.

It is not your fault.
You were just trying to be a good friend.

She wanted to just smoke weed
and watch all 11 seasons of The X-Files.

[Durst] Mmm.

But I was like,
"What about getting some fresh air?"

[Becky] Mmm.

She didn't even know
how to work a camping stove.

Tell them about Todd. Todd. Todd.

- T--
- Sorry, this is unreal. [sobs]

- Oh, stop. You're gonna make me cry.
- [Christine sniffles]

[gasps] Ow. m*therf*cking cramps!

If I am a ghost,
why am I still getting cramps?

[grunts, gasps]

- Holy sh*t.
- What was that?

Did I do that?

- f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.
- You tell us. It's your house.

f*ck.

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

- We went to her apartment.
- [Becky] a*s!

Uh, not much there…

- [imitates groaning]
- We looked at her Instagram.

- [Durst] Mm-hmm.
- You were her only girlfriend?

- [sniffles]
- That's not true.

I had lots of friends. Tell 'em, lights.

- [Christina] Mmm.
- Flicker.

I think most girls were probably
jealous of her.

- [Bronson] How so?
- No, were they?

[Christina]
Well, there was always some guy

kind of waiting in the wings, you know?

She was never single
for more than, like, 48 hours.

And, um…

Like, guys always wanted to help her.

- [Durst] Mmm.
- [Christina] Or she knew how to get things

if she needed them.

So she was manipulative.

- She didn't say that.
- [Christine] No.

[stammers]
I think I'm describing her wrong.

You said that most girls were jealous
of her. What about you?

- Wh-- No. I--
- [scoffs, chuckling]

- Okay. This is your next big hunch?
- It wasn't-- It wasn't like that.

- My best friend k*lled me? Brilliant.
- I'd never--

Just trying to get a sense of who she was,
see if we can shake anything loose.

[Christine] Oh, okay. Um…

Well, she was trying to go back to school.

If that helps. Um…

She'd dropped out of college,

and I know she really wanted
to get her degree.

But, um, well, sometimes she had trouble
following through with things.

And, like, sometimes at dinner,

she would go on and on
about all the chaos in her life

and, like, stuff with her
and relationships.

But then I would get home and realize

that she hadn't really asked me
anything about my life.

- I loved her anyway.
- [gasps]

Even if she wasn't always
the greatest friend, you know?

- [Durst] Mmm.
- [sighs] Oh, my God.

This is, like,
worse than A Christmas Carol.

- Oh, f*ck.
- [sobs]

I'm never going to celebrate
Christmas again. g*dd*mn it.

[groans]

[Christina breathes shakily]

Y-- Do you need to call an electrician?

Maybe that was Becky.

Yes, I'm here. I'm here. I'm so sorry.

Um, is there anybody else
that we should talk to?

Todd, Todd, Todd.

Um. [stammers]
Have you spoken to Todd yet?

- Yes!
- [Durst] Who's Todd?

- Her ex.
- Finally. Thank God!

Uh, he manages a bar

- about ten minutes from here.
- [Becky sighs]

A bar. Okay.

Where are you, you f*cking coward?
I know you're here.

- [car doors slam]
- m*rder*r!

How could you do this to me?
How could you be so f*cking selfish?

See these f*cking guys?

There are two guys coming for you.

You Todd? Todd Holt?

Yeah, why?

- You know why, f*cking as*h*le.
- [Durst] You know Rebecca Moss?

- [Todd scoffs]
- Tell 'em.

[inhales sharply] Do I?

What she do now? Did she get arrested?

[scoffs] Why would I get arrested?

- What makes you think she'd be arrested?
- Public indecency.

Last I saw her,
she was dancing on the bar drunk,

trying to take off all her clothes
to piss me off.

Well, I don't think she's going to be
taking off any clothes anytime soon.

- What's going on? Something happen to her?
- Don't play dumb. They're detectives.

They're gonna find your fingerprints
and semen everywhere.

- She was found dead.
- [Becky] It's over, Todd.

About 25 miles from here.

- No way.
- I texted you that photo.

- You knew exactly where I was.
- [Todd] She's not dead.

- Oh, my Go-- You f*cking used that--
- [Durst] Yeah. She is, Todd.

- what is-- geolocation thing…
- [Durst] That's why we're here.

…or the f*cking app you used to stalk me.

-'Cause you're a jealous stalker as*h*le.
- She sent me a text last night.

- No sh*t.
- Can we see it?

Uh, sure. [sighs]

See?

It's her middle finger
in front of a sunset.

That's right.

To which you responded,
"skull emoji, skull emoji, skull emoji."

Stupid as*h*le.

[Durst] Then you called her a b*tch.

I-- I was pissed. [chuckles]
Doesn't mean I k*lled her.

Doesn't mean you didn't.

- [Bronson] Why'd you break up?
- None of your business.

Want us to get a subpoena,
turn your life inside out?

Tell 'em.

I cheated on her. Okay?

- But I thought she was cheating on me…
- f*cking said it.

…because she was always flirting with
my friends, random guys at trivia night.

- Even my cousin.
- [Durst] Mm-hmm.

- Are you kidding me?
- [Durst] Where were you last night?

Your cousin grabbed my a*s.

I spent the night at my girlfriend's.
Janine. Check my Instagram.

Last night?

[Todd] Uh, she's 18,
just before you say anything.

She just looks young.

We made lasagna. Had lots of sex.

Her roommate can vouch for that part.

[Durst] Well, the lasagna part checks out.

[Todd] Look man, it wasn't me.
Right? You know how girls get.

They're f*cking crazy.
People cheat all the time. It happ--

- [Becky screams]
- [Todd grunts]

The f*ck?

- [both grunting]
- All right, all right, all right.

- Oh, g*dd*mn it.
- Oh, my-- [gasps] Holy sh*t.

- I did it!
- [Bronson] f*ck!

I did that. Oh, my God.

- Well, that went well.
- f*ck that guy.

God, that felt good.

It was like all the anger in my body went
right into Todd.

I gotta figure out how to do it again.
Like, can you make as angry as Todd did?

- Hey, man, the guy's got an alibi.
- So?

- I'm calling it. Gimme the keys.
- It's not working.

- f*ck no.
- What? We're not stopping now.

A girl is dead.

I'm not gonna stop until I have a lead.

- Thank you.
- You're not gonna find anything, man.

You're just gonna obsess and obsess
and get even drunker when you get home.

Better than going home to my wife,
pretending I'm some hero cop.

- S--
- Talking about how I spent all day

on some righteous mission
to save all women.

Jesus, again?

Give me the keys. I'm serious.

You guys really need to work
some sh*t out.

You can walk back to the station.

Jesus liked to walk, didn't he?

I feel bad for you, man.

Bye.

[chuckles]

Yeah, we don't need you!

Although it is kinda weird
that it wasn't Todd.

Like, I don't really have any other leads.

[sighs]

Oh, good, yeah. S--

Can't believe Todd was the last guy
I ever had sex with.

You never think about that
when you're f*cking someone.

Is this it? Is this the final d*ck?

I liked sex.
I had a lot of it when I was alive.

But I was always so focused
on whatever guy I was with,

whatever f*cking relationship I was in.

Everything else took, like, a back seat.

I was really trying to change that.

That's why I went camping by myself.

I didn't want to wait
for anyone to go with me.

And it wasn't easy.

I hate doing stuff by myself.

But, you know,

I was trying to, like… [chuckles]
…get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

And I wasn't flirting with his cousin.

I was just feeling insecure

because it was a family party

and I could tell
his mom didn't like me and…

[Bronson sighs]

Are you the reason I'm still here?

Am I supposed to, like, help you help me?

[whispers] Bronson.

Can you see me?

Uh…

Um, I don't think that woman m*rder*d me.

I've never seen her before.

You're drunk.

[Bronson] I'm not drunk. I'm working.

This is why I got a restraining order.

Wait, is this your ex?
Have we been stalking your ex-wife?

Don't. You'll wake the kids.

[Bronson] I can't stop thinking about you.
You know that.

There was this girl. She was m*rder*d.

She looked just like you.

That's what you were thinking about
when you were looking at my dead body?

That I look like your ex-wife?

[Bronson's ex] All right, you need to go
before I call the cops.

- I--
- [Bronson] I am the cops.

[sighs heavily] That's it.

I am done.

I am so f*cking done.

I can't believe I sat here for hours,
waiting for him to do something.

- [Bronson's ex] You can't come inside.
- [panting]

[screams]

I cannot die like this.

Mutilated in a f*cking forest
and forgotten about,

while all these f*cking men
are so far up their asses.

- [car horn honks]
- [breathing heavily]

Anybody there?

[laughing, panting]

Oh, that's fine.

You can f*cking use my death
to get back in her pants.

I-- I'm gonna solve this thing myself.

[door closes]

[breathing heavily]

- [keys jingling]
- [engine starts]

Oh, f*ck yeah.

- There's another Prius. White Prius.
- [Durst] Mmm.

[chuckling] Come on.

- [Becky] Motorcycle.
- See, that was cool.

- [Durst] What, the hog? Yeah.
- See that?

Sixty. Seventy-seven, 83, 90.

[gasps] There you are.

Oh, boy. [sighs]

Oh, God.

He's, like, extra upset
by this investigation. [laughs]

I'm not upset by the investigation.
[chuckles]

A little scared.

[murmurs] sh*t.

That's weird.

Carole.

Hey, uh, that-that's the box
I'm looking for, actually.

- It is? Okay.
- Yeah.

- f*ck yeah.
- Here you go.

[sighs] Are we done with this sh*t?

I don't know, man.

[Becky] What does it mean?
Why? It's clearly a costume.

- What is this referencing?
- Right.

[Bronson] Please find somewhere else
to get sandwiches.

- [Durst] I know.
- Whatever, man.

- What the f*ck, man? [chuckles]
- f*ck!

This g*dd*mn f*cking desk.
It's the second time it's happened today.

And this whip,
it doesn't go at all with the costume.

Why not rope?

Why a whip?

Yes, Carole. We're mind-melding.

We are mind-melding.

[sighs]

[breathes shakily]

[breathing shakily]

Holy sh*t.

[Christina sniffles]

[sighs]

Jesus. [breathes shakily]

- I loved you.
- [Christina exhales heavily]

I told you things I didn't tell anybody.

I trusted you.

Why would you want to hurt me?

Were you jealous
of-of my shitty dating life?

Of my shitty apartment? Of my shitty job?

In every book,
it's always somebody you know.

- But I didn't think it would be you.
- [sniffles]

[gasps] Oh, sh*t. [breathing shakily]

- [sibling] What happened?
- [gasps]

U-Um… [sniffles] …nothing, okay.
I'm just-- [sniffles]

I'm just drunk and I'm sad. [sniffles]

Okay? The only person… [sniffles]
…who ever cared about me is dead,

so just please go back
to your stupid game.

[sniffling, breathing shakily]

I'm serious, Chad. Leave me alone.

Okay. Sorry.

I'm sad too, you know.

[Christina] Oh, are you? Are you sad?

Stupid crush is different
than eight years of friendship.

[crying, sniffling]

[glass door slides]

- [game pad clicking]
- [combat noises in game]

[gasps]

[gasps]

I don't understand.

You're a child.

[stammering] I d-- I-- I--

I don't think I've ever even said
more than two words to you.

I guess one time I called you
"the virgin king,"

but that's just 'cause
that's what Christina calls you. I--

- Do you even realize? Do-- Do--
- [laughs]

Did you even think about the fact
that I'm never gonna grow old?

- [chuckling]
- Never gonna fall in love.

[laughing]

Never going to go to a Beyoncé concert.

I've never even left the f*cking country.

[sighs]

[typing]

- [Chad laughs]
- What is that?

Who's "incel"?

[Chad laughs]

If Gwyneth Paltrow's head is in here,
I'm gonna be pissed.

Hey! Who left this for me?

[sighs]

[phone handset rattles]

[Carole] H-Hi.

I think I have something
on that m*rder*d girl, Rebecca Moss.

You got it from here.

[line ringing]

Come on. Pick up the phone.

[Bronson's ex] Hello, you've reached
the voice mail of Tina Brons--

- [phone beeps]
- [sighs]

[sighs]

When I was 11, I went to sleepaway camp.
One of the places run by the YMCA.

And we would lie around at night
telling ghost stories.

You know, the ones where someone's
writing your name in blood on a mirror,

or, like, there's a man with a hook
for a hand scraping at your car window.

And we'd tell these stories,
and we would scream.

Because they were terrifying.

But also because we loved them.

Stories about people being m*rder*d.

It's funny.

Even if you think about dying,

you don't ever think about being k*lled.

At least, I didn't.

And it wasn't even personal.

Who teaches a 16-year-old boy
to hate women like that?

And who teaches him
that kind of casual violence?

You should investigate that.

You okay?

Still thinking about the case?

No, actually,
I was thinking about the nature of evil.

My dad, how he drank himself to death.

Right.

[sighs]

[inhales sharply] I'm gonna go.

You ever read any Milton?

I told you, I don't read books.

- [sighs]
- Think you'd like him.

Especially Paradise Lost.
It's all about Satan. Fall of man.

Well, you can get it for me
for Christmas then.

Thought you weren't religious.

I'm not, but I still like Christmas.

It's my kids' favorite holiday.

[Durst] You got kids?

["Fast Slow Disco" playing]