01x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

Love is the best thing we have.

Maybe after we strip away all

the bullshit,

it's the only thing we have.

Alice?

Jack?

Yes.

Hi.

Well, your picture didn't lie.

Yours is an understatement.

Well, that's on purpose.

What will you have to drink?

Macallan.

So, who are you, Jack?

Who am I? Are you nervous?

A little. Aren't you?

Why don't I concretize

the question. What do you do?

Thank you.

I am a biomedical researcher.

What do you research?

Right now, Hashimoto's disease.

Why?

Why?

Do you have Hashimoto's disease? No.

Does anyone you know

have Hashimoto's disease? No.

Then why? For the glory of perhaps

one day curing Hashimoto's disease?

Not for the glory.

No, curing it will help people.

But it won't help you.

Not directly no, but

Or anyone you know. No, but

So, you're a crusader.

I wouldn't say that.

You should,

cause it's really adorable.

But it's kind of

a hazy reward calculus.

What? Well, let's break it down.

What do you do after you cure

Hashimoto's disease?

There's a whole bunch of us.

Yeah, but what do you do?

I move on to something else,

I guess.

Another disease? Probably.

And then what? Another one?

On and on until I die at some point,

I suppose.

Of another disease, one you've never

even thought about.

Statistically, very likely.

Yeah, after which time,

and for all eternity,

the fact that you've cured or helped

cure Hashimoto's disease or,

you know,

potentially other diseases,

won't mean anything to you

because nothing will mean anything

to you because you'll be dead.

This is my first time using the app.

Is this how it usually goes?

What actually is

Hashimoto's disease?

It's autoimmune related.

See, I could understand devoting

your life

to biomedical research if you're

going for the glory.

Can we not say glory?

Can we say, for the feeling

of having done something good?

Like a calling?

Hmm, well Are you religious?

I don't know yet. Are you?

So, not fame or rewards, per se,

but for a feeling of

a work well done,

of a life well-lived,

of a world in some measure improved.

And that's why you do what you do?

What do you do?

I make money.

A crystal-clear reward calculus.

The clearest.

Finance business?

Bold guess in this part of town.

Any goals beyond personal wealth?

I think of it more like

a defence fund. Like a w*r chest.

Who are you fighting?

People like me?

No.

Everyone else.

Do you live near here?

I work around the corner.

Are you suggesting we go

to your office?

Oh, no. No, no, sorry, I wa No.

We'll go to my apartment.

Already?

Or we'll part as friendly

acquaintances.

Either's fine by me.

That's not a choice.

Are you awake?

Are you awake?

Are you awake?

I am now, yeah.

Hi.

I want to say this in

a way that's clear but not rude.

"Get the f*ck out of here"?

Basically, yeah.

Right.

I'm sorry.

No, no, it's all good.

On to the walk of shame.

I don't know why they call it the

walk of shame. You've just had sex,

they should call it the walk of

victory. The stroll of conquest.

Yeah, they absolutely should not

call it that.

Where's my sock?

Have you done this before?

Slept with a stranger?

Dressed yourself.

I have dressed myself before, yeah.

You're great.

What?

You're kind and you're handsome.

You're a good lover.

You're wonderful.

I can see why you want me to go.

Is it always like this for you?

Is what always like what?

Never mind.

Bye.

I'll call you.

Thank you, but if it's OK with you,

I'd rather you didn't.

- I'll text you?

- Hmm.

Don't do it.

Why not?

She told you not to

and she threw you out of her flat.

As far as signals go,

those are pretty clear.

There was something in the subtext.

Don't hang your hat on

subtext, mate. Subtext is dangerous.

Subtext can get you k*lled.

You don't understand cos you

weren't there.

It would've been weird if I was.

That would have been weird, yeah.

Right, we can go.

You all right?

I'm fine.

Want to talk about anything?

No, thank you.

Cos we can if you want.

I am your friend.

You can't be my friend

cos you're someone I pay.

Paul?

Paul!

Are you all right?

Yeah.

Are you all right?

I thought I told you not

to bloody call.

I had a breakthrough.

Psychologically or? No!

Er, at work.

We isolated

the Hashimoto's base pair,

so we're one step closer to a cure.

Do you want to tell me about it?

I just did.

Did you want to tell me more

about it?

Yeah.

Exchange Square, 20 minutes.

What?

I'm not sure about the beard.

No? I mean, it's handsome,

that's not the issue.

You're more or less

unbreakably handsome.

But there's just something

about it.

I didn't expect to see you tonight.

Then why did you call me?

Well, I'm not sure. I didn't really

think about it, I just did it.

Are you with anyone?

No. I've been, you know,

fine on my own.

Is it the beard?

You set kind of a high bar.

So do you.

What does one thing have

to do with the other?

The night after we were

I happened to see you.

And I was with someone else

that night.

Mm.

Have you ever been

with the same person twice?

Tonight will be the first time.

Isn't that razor made for

legs and arm pits?

It's not like they use

a different grade of steel.

Be careful.

If I were careful

with anything in this world,

I would be careful with you.

You weren't, though.

What?

You weren't careful.

I know.

I'll try to be.

I understand that

That this is different.

You do?

Yeah, can we stop talking about it?

What the f*ck?!

Are you kidding me?

Are you working tomorrow?

It's Saturday.

Do you want to do something?

Sure.

Well, then you should

probably stay.

OK.

Good then.

Is this OK?

Yeah, it's good.

Am I like a giant squid?

No.

Your heart's beating really

fast though.

Can you feel that?

Are you OK?

I think so.

Will I give it a minute?

Yeah.

That's better.

That's good.

Jack

Jack?

Jack?

Alice?

Alice?

Alice?

Where did you go?

I got croissants.

From where?

Franz and Evans.

Almond or plain?

One of each.

And I got lattes

and I replaced your razor.

Please don't ever do that again.

Sorry, you were just

You were sleeping so soundly.

Also, no almond.

Is almond OK for you?

Because we can share

the plain one, if you want?

I like almond.

How is the almond?

It's very good.

How's the non-almond?

It's lovely.

Do you like that one?

It's hard, isn't it, to say whether

you like something or not

cos sometimes you're really drawn

to something but

it makes you angry or,

like, depressed?

Do you know what I mean? You're

talking about the painting right?

Yes!

Yes, not people.

Well I mean, also people

Me, it's me, isn't it?

No, it's not you

Good morning. Hi. Hi, there.

Have you got anything by, erm,

Emily Kirby?

Kirby?

Gosh, that name does not ring

a bell. Is she British? She is.

Living or?

Both of those things.

Would she be in our permanent

collection

or in a visiting exhibition?

Well, you'd probably know better

than I would.

Erm, sorry, there are over 30,000

pieces in our permanent collection.

And then the visiting exhibitions

can be large also.

Mmm-hmm. Is there a database?

There absolutely is a database,

but unfortunately my terminal is

misbehaving today,

I can't access the database.

Is there a terminal that isn't

misbehaving today?

Like a terminal that might

be an example to other terminals?

Er, unfortunately

Oh, my God, please don't say

unfortunately again.

Just say, in this

£84 million building,

there's someone who can access

the bloody database.

You know what, it's absolutely fine,

thank you very much.

It's not fine.

We should just keep wandering

and see what we see.

Oh, f*ck off, Jack.

Hey.

Whatever's going on with you,

get a handle on it

and figure out a way to

be a grown-up. This isn't OK.

Yeah.

This was a mistake.

This was my mistake.

Alice.

Again the clearest instructions

I've ever read.

She should work for IKEA.

She does seem pretty cool,

though.

In anextremely troubling way.

D'you know what my father would have

said in this situation? What?

People will usually disappoint you.

Great. He didn't say always,

he said usually.

He told me to sift through

the general population

looking for the great ones

and to be wise enough to cast aside

the disappointing ones,

despite their appeal

and without rancour.

He was actually an optimist.

I mean, look, there's seven and

a half million people in this city.

There's got to be at least

a couple of hundred thousand

of them that are lovely.

We each just have to find a great

one. I did. Not really, mate.

I mean, you've got to be able to

function with them, right?

Why are we on this boat?

Cos I needed to do

something life-affirming.

Is it working?

Nope.

What is that?

What is that?

Oh, shush, shush, shush now,

hush, hush.

Lovey?

Yep?

Who's Alice?

Alice?

Er

Who's that? She's an ex.

O-h*-h*! She's an ex.

Oh, no. D'you wanna take it?

Nah. Nah?

OKOK.

Yeah. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye! Come here.

Here we go, now.

I mean, do you want to switch it

off?

Or hit it with a meat hammer?

Oh, sh*t, sorry.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Lesson 116, Celia - our exes

are exes for a reason.

Ha. Yes, they are.

Oh, our breakfast is on fire,

it's fully on fire. Oh, sh*t.

Ohhh, OK.

f*cking hell.

Oh, Daddy's silly!

He burnt the sausages. Look at him.

Is that it totally done?

Yeah. Toast?

Plain toast? Yeah.

An "ex"?

That was the term you chose?

Yeah.

Technically accurate, I guess.

Although, just out of interest,

did "catastrophe" cross your mind?

What would you have done?

Told your new wife

and mother of your new baby,

who she happened to be burping

at the time Disaster? Shipwreck?

Any of those?

..about some other woman

who once blew a hole in your soul?

No, I would have told her everything

on the first date

and destroyed any chance

of a relationship.

OK, well, I didn't do that.

An ex. What was Chernobyl,

a mishap?

Are you finished?

For now.

Did Alice leave a voicemail?

No.

Did you call her back? No.

Do you plan to? No.

And she'll know

what that silence means,

and she'll never call me again

and we'll all continue forward

into a very nice future

instead of backsliding into

a giant vat of pain.

I can see you're untroubled.

I'm fine.

It was a non-incident.

Right.

Except she's here.

She's always here,

she's always a presence,

I don't deny it.

No, she, she's here.

Krystelle's bringing her through.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t.

I didn't really eat or sleep

for months after we parted.

Which is ridiculous, I know.

No.

Yes. When the ratio of

time spent with a person

to time spent broken-hearted

over that person

is like one to 60,000,

that's a little nuts.

I'm here now.

Yeah, for the moment you're here.

You know, life eats

sensitive people, Jack.

That doesn't make themcrazy.

That's good news.

My therapist said I was nuts, so

You went to a therapist?

Yeah. That's why I said

"my therapist".

You seem to be a little sensitive

about having gone to

a therapist there. No.

I've lived with therapists, so

Plural?

Comically, massively, plural.

My therapists

have had to go to therapists.

I probably went to your therapist.

I have recommendations too

if you need another therapist.

It's fine. I'm fine. I got better.

You did? Good.

Yeah. How?

It was circuitous.

Where did I leave off?

You weren't eating or sleeping.

That's right. I was drinking,

though.

What I can't fathom,

broadly speaking,

is how the simple act of propagating

the species can be so problematic.

Human beings should have died out

hundreds of thousands

of years ago,

and yet here we are

in charge of everything.

Are we still having a conversation,

or am I talking to myself?

Sorry. I mean, think of how many

love songs there are.

Love poems, books about love,

movies. It's f*cking pathetic.

Can you imagine how far along

we'd be as a civilisation

if we just devoted

that time and energy

into something more constructive?

Mm-hmm, I think you should listen

to your friend there.

Thank you.

I mean, it's gonna happen anyway.

People are going to f*ck.

Yes, they are, and thank goodness.

I mean, love's just a dopamine rush

meant to lure us into misalliance

before,

as in the case of poor Jack here,

it wanders off,

chuckling,

to bother someone else.

So I say we wise up

and dial down the drama.

I agree. I'm Donna.

Er, I'm Paul. He's mute.

Hi, Paul. You all right, Jack?

Sorry, I am, good, yes

He's not. He's not all right,

he's, he's broken and ruined.

I'm all right, though.

I'm fresh and clean.

I've been stood up, Jack.

May I join you?

Sorry, yeah, I'd rather you just

Yes.

In fact I'd

I'd hack off a limb.

Paul, did you say? It is.

They started dating.

To this day, Paul ascribes

his happiness to my depression.

Oh, he loves you. Mmm.

As I watched them,

I realised something.

Life is pretty simple

for a lot of people.

They meet someone,

they fall in love

and they're all set.

No suffering,

no gnawing your own hand

to the wrist.

And I thought, "I should try that."

Or at least, be open to

the possibility of trying that.

So the next night,

instead of reading about syphilis,

I went to see a movie

to cheer myself up.

Seven Beauties.

Seven Beauties?

I know.

Let me just be clear that

that is the Italian film

about the horrors of fascism?

Yep, that's the one.

I mean, I know that now.

I didn't then.

Sorry, are you all right?

Hey, er, yes, yeah, thank you.

Sorry, I, I

Based on the title

I thought that was gonna be a,

a romantic comedy.

Oh, no, it was, yeah,

that's just for Nazis,

that is a romantic comedy.

Mmm.

You OK? Do you need

some air or something?

Yeah. Yeah.

What, did you genuinely not like it?

I mean, I think I hated it?

OK.

I mean, obviously I'm glad

I went to see it now, but

Oh, that's a,

that's a nice thing to say.

Because I'm not really sure

what it means.

It means I'm glad to meet you.

Oh, God, sorry. Er, I was,

I was talking about the film.

Sorry.

Er, but I, I think

what the director is saying,

she says that, er,

it should make emotional

rather than logical sense. So

That's all the best things, maybe.

Yeah. Maybe.

All I know is that it just,

it just reaches into my chest

and moves my lungs around.

I just, I love it.

Hey. Er

Are you hungry? Or thirsty?

Or in need of anything

that Sclater Street can provide?

Er

That'svery Jack.

I was nervous.

I'm not judging.

You just judged.

And, it worked, by the way.

Ooh! Hmm. Did it? Yeah.

Bravo.

I mean, yeah.

Do you think Swedish people fart

as much as regular people?

If I had to guess, like, I'd say no.

But I guess there's no way

to know for sure.

Funny bunch.

Do you think we'll ever

forgive ourselves?

I don't think it's our fault.

Yeah, that's not what I asked you.

Er, do you think this is gonna,

gonna ruin things between us?

No.

Like, we're brand-new, Jack. You

know, relationships are hard enough.

I have heard that. Yeah.

Er, if it does though,

like, if it did

..ruin things between us, I just

Thank you for how glad

you've made me.

Cos it had been a while, you know

So, yeah.

That'll teach me, huh?

Do you think we should

discuss the alternatives?

There aren't any good ones.

I mean, would you consider

having a child outside of marriage?

No. Oh, my God, sorry,

I know that sounds

reallybut

No, it's just not the life

I imagined. Look, I'm sorry.

Me neither.

So, what are you talking about,

then? Adoption?

No. I don't think I could function

knowing I had a child out in the

world that I wasn't taking care of.

Yeah, no, of course you couldn't.

Neither could I.

So, like, we have

the alternatives discussed.

I mean, do you think

Do you think we should discuss

the alternative

to those alternatives?

No?

Oh, my God. Marriage?

NoNo. No?

Jack. Jesus, are you

out of your mind?

I barely know you. I don't even know

your middle name. Cyril.

What? No? Seriously?

It's not Cyril.

I don't have a middle name.

Well, there you go.

I didn't know that.

That's my point.

We'd find things out.

Jack. OK. Look, I know

this is probably crazy

Yeah.

This is definitely crazy Yes.

OK? I haven't totally

thought this through. No, really?

Yeah, but if you

If you had asked me,

when I was growing up,

what the person

that I would one day marry

..would look like

and sound like and,

and be like

..I would've said someone

just like you.

You barely know me.

You know, at this stage I'm just

like an outline of a person,

I'm just a sketch.

It's a pretty good sketch.

All I'm asking is in the 28 hours

between now and the thing,

that we not rule it out completely

and officially.

Cyril.

And is she?

She is.

And it's not the worst thing in

the world to be happy, you know.

I don't know,

but I will provisionally agree.

You know, I feel very lucky

to have found Lynn.

And to have been found.

We throw away our blessings

at our peril. What happened then?

Well.I called you.

And when you didn't answer

or respond,

I took it to mean that we would

never be in contact again.

Oh, so you married someone else

because I didn't answer the phone?

No.

But I took it as proof that I was

making the right decision.

Confirmation.

What are you thinking?

I wanted a great and stupid romance.

You know,

I always thought there'd be one.

Maybe it's just beginning?

No, this is backwards.

OK, so it's backwards.

OK, then, Cyril,

is there anything I should know?

Like what?

I mean, I wouldn't ask if I knew,

would I?

Nothing that matters now.

I know this isn't ideal,

by any means, but

..wasn't it the Rolling Stones

who said, "We can't let the perfect

"be the enemy of the very good?"

Absolutely not, no.

Oh, God. That was Voltaire.

Voltaire said that? Yes.

Did the, did the Rolling Stones

say it also? No. No?

They said, "You can't always

get what you want." Quite famously.

That's probably

what I'm thinking of.

I mean, you realise this child

would have an English accent.

There's worse things.

Like what?

I can't think of any.

Is this a yes?

Well, I mean, you've swept me off

my feet, haven't you?

And eight months later,

Celia was born.

And who thought of the name?

I think I did. Why?

Just curious.

Look, I'm sorry I called you, Jack.

I'm sorry I turned up like this.

I think that I just thought that

your life had just stood still

without me.

Because mine

..had sort of stood still

without you.

And, er

I may have to just grow up

at some point.

Why did you want to see me?

Was it just to say hello?

My mam passed away on Thursday

of cirrhosis of the liver.

Brought on by a lifetime of me dad.

And just

..seeing him is

..one of the many, many things

I can't imagine facing without you.

But I will.

I'm happy for you.