01x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

Not even the most fanatic German fan

ever imagined such a game.

Historical, unforgettable.

As the visiting team, even!

To all of the Brazilian audience

who were ecstatic, hopeful,

and dreamt of this final

Seven to one. It's unbelievable.

And in Maracanã Stadium.

- Yes, my love.

- Five-nil in the first half.

Okay.

Well, be nice to Grandma.

Okay, don't get in trouble.

Okay. Don't stay up past 10:00.

Sure. Bye, darling. Kiss kiss.

Bye, I love you.

Hello.

Hello.

How are you?

Fine, just as I've been all day.

Now, we take off our clothes.

Touch each other, screw.

Eat something.

Watch an episode of some series.

And then fall asleep!

Sounds great.

Let's do something different.

Okay, this is how it'll go.

I'll go at 9:00,

you arrive 30 minutes later,

you look for me in the woods,

we negotiate, I get in your car

- and we go to a motel.

- This is weird, isn't it?

- What?

- You on the streets like that scares me.

I love how you look,

but I like you in your sweatpants

or in a neoprene suit.

This is too much.

It seems like a circus to me.

Come on! A little bit of fantasy, Seba.

It turns me on

to think of you as my client,

picking me up, negotiating with me.

It turns you on?

But you know the outcome.

I walk by, we negotiate a price,

- go to the motel, fall asleep.

- No, maybe not.

- Let's f*ck now.

- No.

Maybe we don't negotiate

and don't agree on a price.

Well, tell me how much you'll charge

so I know how much to take.

I don't know, whatever you think

is appropriate. Dollars.

- Dollars?

- Yes, obviously.

Okay. Should I change or stay like this?

- Please.

- Wait, my car is at the shop.

I'll be waiting for you.

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

ON AIR

ALMOST HAPPY

5. "ANA DOESN'T SLEEP"

We usually know what we're in for

when we go places.

When we go to a funeral,

we have to wear our sad faces,

try to comfort the grieving.

When we go to a wedding,

we have to be patient,

because wedding parties are usually long.

And when there's a gathering,

like the one I'm going to tonight,

I have no idea what to bring.

I'm going to a barbecue

with friends tonight

because one of them just got separated.

Today we'll talk about it

and we'll be there to listen and to engage

and try to

I don't know, give him some advice,

keep him company, comment, listen.

I'll find out tonight.

We'll be back with Life in the Middle.

- Great show.

- Stop.

I'm burned-out. I've been talking

for two hours on air. Stop it.

Okay.

How do you think the show went?

I liked it. There were lots of messages,

good response

Don't measure the show's success

by the number of messages we get.

A thousand messages

don't make the show good.

Don't be so basic.

- Okay.

- All right?

Today I felt very lonely on air.

So lonely

So naked.

Spiritually naked. Get it?

Sometimes I need someone

by my side when I'm on air.

- Someone? You mean me?

- I'm being serious.

Now's when I name a bunch of people

and you say no one's good enough.

Listen. This came in for you.

What's it for?

I don't know, it connects with Bluetooth.

It's a Bluetooth gadget.

- I'm not sure, let me see.

- I'll keep it.

Sure, Felipe, you keep it. All's good.

They sent this, too.

Three hours in a motel.

You can take a nap all on your own

or jerk off a bit.

I don't like masturbating at hotels.

Hi! How's it going?

Are you out of your mind?

Are you crazy? Talking about me

and my family on air. Really?

I thought it was fine.

There's still people

I haven't told yet, you fool!

- I'm sorry, I didn't know.

- What about my children? Tell me.

My kids just heard on the radio

that their dad is going to celebrate

with friends that he is separating.

Tell me about it.

For you, everything's always fine.

You're disrespectful.

Last time he was talking

about his friend, the fatty.

How many fat friends do you have?

Everyone knows it's me.

Why don't you talk about yourself?

Do your show.

- Why talk about us?

- What's your problem with fat people?

Do you think it's appropriate

in this day and age

- to laugh about fat people?

- I didn't tell any fat people jokes.

- Honestly.

- On and on about fat guys.

You were making fun of fatsos, Sebastian!

I didn't tell any jokes about fat people.

What will it be tomorrow?

A special on cripples?

Widows? Orphans?

- What's next?

- And if it's a joke about Jews?

No!

- "The Pope is a bad guy."

- What's going on?

We're sick of you

talking about us on your show.

Are you Ret*rded? Tell me the truth.

- Can't you see you're sh*t?

- Grow up, Sebastián.

No, stop!

We're playing with you, silly!

- You're such assholes.

- Got you!

Damn you, you scared me!

We got you this time. You're beautiful.

He's so cute. My God.

Check out this fire!

- It's almost ready.

- Yes.

- Hey, this meat is good.

- You like it?

Yeah.

I bought it at the butcher's

in my new neighborhood.

And how's this new neighborhood?

Good, I'm happy.

Well, you should've invited us

to see for ourselves, huh?

Give me a break.

I separated two months ago.

I rented something in a rush.

- Right.

- The apartment is this big, Seba.

Four fat guys and a chair

don't fit in there.

- It's true.

- I'm not fat.

Do you know how happy

I was alone in 323 square feet?

Plus, all my stuff is in boxes.

It's such a mess.

Who knows? Maybe one day

I'll rent something a little bigger.

All my kids' friends' dads

are separated. Every single one.

- I'm the weirdo, still married.

- It's true, you are a weirdo.

- You know what scares me?

- What?

- I'm scared.

- What are you scared of?

Of the anguish, the loneliness,

of not finding a new partner,

of going to bed and waking up alone.

I'm just scared.

- I'm kidding. I don't give a damn.

- f*cking as*h*le! I believed you!

You're such a dumbass!

Look, if I were separated

- "If I was."

- "If I happened to be."

It's "If I was" or "If I happened to be."

If I were separated,

I'd go out every night.

We'd be partying, drinking, doing coke.

But, like, heavily.

It would last two months.

Then, you'd fall into depression

- and disappear.

- What do you know?

- I just know, that's how it is.

- But you've never been separated!

So? I know thousands

of people who are, my friend!

You're the one who knows about this.

You've been separated.

- Want some?

- No, my blood pressure drops. I don't.

At first, I did what you said.

I went out every night.

Would go out in the morning,

all weekend, in the afternoon.

Tinder, social media.

Then, you get depressed,

sadness overtakes you.

You stay locked up at home,

missing your children.

If I tell you what I want,

you'll laugh at me, but

I want a girlfriend.

The kind to go out on weekends,

to travel, to talk on the phone at night.

To f*ck standing up.

No, my blood pressure drops

if I do it on my feet.

It's crazy, I can't picture myself

with anyone but Caro.

No way in hell I'll go back to her,

- but I don't see myself with anyone else.

- Careful when you see her.

The other day, I was with Pilar.

We had to do some paperwork.

It was fun, we had a good time.

For a second,

I felt we were a couple again.

What you really want

is to get back with her.

I think you should stop

renting that place.

- Why?

- You're throwing money away.

- You have to buy a place.

- Why do you care? It's his life.

Just my advice.

Listen to me and go straight to buying.

- That's an old fart's advice.

- Old fart's?

Yes, let him enjoy life!

Let him be, enjoy, spend.

Let him rent and he can smoke

the rest of his cash if he wants!

You're always wanting to No, thanks.

- Want some?

- No! Shove it up your a*s! I don't smoke!

What really pisses me off

is you always trying to control me.

It makes my blood boil.

- How long have we known each other?

- The surprise is here.

- What surprise?

- I'll be right back.

How long have we known each other?

- Thirty years, I guess.

- Thirty years?

Have we ever made a serious toast?

Be serious.

I'm going through a tough time

and I am grateful.

- You're going to be okay.

- You're my friends.

- And we are here for you

- Can I toast now?

Guys, the lady is here.

Come on in.

Come on, guys! Come on!

Come dance! Gabriel, don't be a

Oh, my God. Wait.

I'll give you 500 for now

and I'll have to come back.

Wait. Come on! Dance for my friend!

There you go. Come on! Stand up, Seba!

Stand up, Seba, come on!

Go!

What is this?

We're having fun, Gabriel.

Don't be a party pooper. Come on!

Stop this bullshit, I'm serious.

- This is objectifying women.

- Dance for my friend.

Do the train. Come on!

- No, you're all assholes.

- Enough with the attitude. Have fun.

- No, this isn't fun, no. You're

- Come on!

- f*ck you!

- No!

No, are you crazy?

Dance, m*therf*cker.

- Are you okay?

- Yes.

Careful.

- Are you okay?

- Yes.

I'll walk you out, let's go.

Are you okay?

- Yes.

- Okay.

Sorry about that.

You still owe me 50%.

Fifty percent of your pay.

Okay.

- I don't know, is this okay?

- Sure.

Bye.

Bye.

I go at 9:00, you arrive 30 minutes later,

you look for me in the woods,

we negotiate, I get in your car

and we go to a motel.

Hi, baby.

I like baldies like you.

Hey, excuse me.

Need a ride?

I called him

to see if I could get there earlier.

Is it far?

At the Microcentro.

We'll meet at his office.

Weird, isn't it? This late at his office?

I don't ask.

And what do you do for a living?

Are you kidding me?

Why?

Huh?

- Do we know each other?

- What?

I mean, have we met?

No. I host a radio show. I thought

- Well, maybe

- Really?

- Yes.

- I'm with a celebrity? Wow!

Well, apparently not,

you would've recognized me if I was.

You know, when I was a kid,

I pretended I had my own radio show.

It's not too late.

Of course it's too late.

Yes.

I'd have to quit this job.

You can do them both.

Both at the same time?

Not at the same time,

like while you do one, you do the other.

You can do the radio in the morning

and in the afternoon this, or

I don't know.

Today, I told my producer,

"I felt very lonely on air."

Why?

I do the show alone,

maybe I need a co-host.

Today, I told him

I need someone by my side on air.

A second voice.

If you chose me,

I'd have to be the first voice.

Ana! First voice, Ana!

It's quarter past eleven

in the city of Buenos Aires.

- The temperature, 59 degrees

- You have a great voice.

I mean it.

And now, we will continue with this song.

I'm still craving the ice cream.

We left early.

- I haven't even eaten.

- I'll buy you dinner.

Do you want the tray or

- Huh?

- The tray.

What for? Throw it away.

No, I don't like doing that.

You know, the environment.

Are you separated,

like your friend at the BBQ?

Yes.

I'm separated and have twins.

A twin boy and a twin girl.

Well, a girl and a boy.

One of each. I get it.

And you? Do you have a boyfriend?

I don't have a boyfriend.

I'd like to have one, though.

It's been a while.

Someone to pick me up,

to watch a series with,

to cuddle in bed,

to text with late at night.

I can do that.

Give me your number

and we can text if you want.

I thought this night

would turn out different.

It turned out okay for me.

It hasn't ended yet.

My client is waiting.

I can wait for you if you want.

As you wish.

Bye.

Hello.

Some mints.

Son of a b*tch.

I can't believe it.

My car was towed.

- Where were you?

- I went for a walk while I waited for you.

I bought you this.

You're sweet.

What are you doing now?

- I have a client.

- Another one?

Another one turned up.

Okay, I'll see you some other time.

Wait.

My friend's car was towed away.

Come.

We'll take you to your car.

No, it's fine.

Come.

Ana and I go way back.

- And you?

- We met today.

Today?

Today and she already got your car towed?

Don't mind us.

Ana and have a lot of fun together.

A lot.

- A lot.

- Yeah.

My closest friends

who know I have a relationship with Ana,

they say, "Don't you ever get bored

of doing the same thing over and over?"

- We like to try new things all the time.

- Yes.

Stop, Ana, stop.

Let's drop this good man off first.

Where do you live?

No, I have to go get my car, so

Do we drop him off

or do we take him with us?

Are you into trying new stuff?

Or are you more conventional?

More or less.

More or less, what?

More or less into trying new things,

or more or less conventional?

I go with the flow or whatever.

I don't know.

Threesomes?

No, threesomes, not at all.

Do you think he's a f*g?

Totally. I told you today. Didn't I?

He seems so g*y, right?

- I've never been told that before.

- But you have a funny gaze.

- It makes you cute.

- I'm funny.

Well, that's expensive.

Thanks for the ride.

Bye

radio co-host.

Goodbye, co-host.

Your friend has my number.

Okay.

Were you meeting at a corner?

At a specific place?

No.

I just told him to come and look for me.

Well, maybe we're not seeing him.

He didn't have the courage.

I know him.

He didn't come,

we would've seen him by now.

I'm at the motel, using the coupon,

do you want to come?

Hahahahahaha. Don't forget

to pick up the kids tomorrow!

Okayyyyy. Kisses!