02x02 - Tickle Time Part 1

[bunniefuu]

(PHONE BUZZES PERSISTENTLY)

(GRUNTS)

- Oly?
- Mum, can you please come here?

- What?
- There's been an emergency.

There's no time to explain.

Just, please, Mum, come...

- What's happened?
- ..right now.

- (LINE DISCONNECTS)
- Oly!

(INTRIGUING MUSIC)

(ANGIE COUGHS)

(INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES)

(GASPS AND PANTS)

(DOG BARKS)

(GASPS AND PANTS)

- (DOOR SLAMS)
- ANGIE: What happened?

What happened?

- Did somebody say tickle time?
- OLY: Tickle time!

(ALL LAUGH)

When did you get back?

BOWIE: Hey, hey,
you know, I thought,

"How can anybody beat
a surprise baby?"

- But here I am. Hey? Hey?
- Oh!

(BOTH LAUGH)

(ANGIE SOBS)

- Hey?
- (ANGIE SOBS)

(ANGIE SOBS HARDER)

What's wrong?

(SOBS) Oh...

I'm just... Oh, I'm just
so happy to see your face again.

So happy you're back.

I knew the separation would
take its toll on you, Mum.

No, it...

It was actually
a really cruel prank

you guys just played on me.

Oh, after the back of
a boozy night?

How about I get you
some water, Mum?

- Are you still seeing him?
- Who?

Do we have to have
this conversation right now?

- Mmm...
- DOM: Whoop!

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, my shaman would
say it's better out than in.

Is that a direct quote?

Oh. Oh, no. Well, maybe
you're just pregnant.

- OLY: Oh! Oh...
- I'm definitely not.

Can we not argue?
Hey, are you jet-lagged?

- Why would you say that?
- (GROANS)

- BOWIE: Whatever.
- This is a lot. (SIGHS)

- Hi.
- (RUSSIAN ACCENT) Hello.

Oh. Thank you.

This is Katerina.

She's my girlfriend and she's,
uh... she's gonna stay for a bit.

Great.

(BUZZING)

(DOM LA NENA SINGS 'ELA'
IN PORTUGUESE)

YOUNG SANTI: Mama!

Mama!

Mama. (ECHOES)

(GASPS)

(PORTUGUESE SONG CONTINUES)

(BONG WATER BUBBLES)

- (BIRDSONG)
- (ETHEREAL SOUNDSCAPE)

(GENTLE CHIMING)

(UNEASY MUSIC)

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

(UNEASY MUSIC CONTINUES)

Rise and shine, uce!

- SANTI: Uce.
- (VINCE CHUCKLES)

- ('HENNY & REEFER' BY CHILLINIT)
- Thanks, bro.

All good.

So... what happened to
'no bongs before breakfast'?

(SANTI CHUCKLES)

What are you doing, bro?

Sorry.

I told Reema I'd bring it

so we could keep our terrarium
misted throughout the day.

You get to mist
Reema's terrarium?

(SANTI CHUCKLES)

Disrespectful, bruh.

I'm sorry, bro. I'm just...

Yeah.

SONG: ♪ Reef, reef

♪ Reef, reef, r-r-reef

♪ Cuts. ♪

(STUDENTS CHATTER NEARBY)

ANGIE: That's quite a statement
you're making.

Hey.

Oh, "Hey."

Is that all you're gonna say?

What's the matter?

I saw you last night.

And you obviously
haven't gone home.

I'm sleeping in the back
of the food truck.

Yeah, right.

Can you chill out?

- "Chill out"?
- Please?

Yep. Yep, OK.

Loud and clear. I can chill out.

I can be f*cking glacial,
you prick.

(SEAM RIPS)

Oh, do you ever see other people

and feel really together
in comparison?

- MS TAN: Uh, yeah.
- MR HANOVER: Yeah.

MR HANOVER: Oof!

- J! Look up there! (GASPS)
- Hey.

Look up there at those branches.

Hey. Couldn't find you
this morning.

Yeah, sorry. I was late.

- (BABY BURBLES)
- Are you not sleeping?

- Hey!
- (BABY GIGGLES)

Is my bed uncomfortable, or...?

(SANTI GROANS PLAYFULLY)
Oh, my gosh! Come here.

Is there something else
going on?

Mwah!

Well, someone's
extra snuggly today, huh?

(OLY LAUGHS WEAKLY)

Are you still OK
to take her this afternoon?

- (BABY FUSSES)
- Yeah. Of course.

- OK.
- OK, time to say bye.

- Yeah.
- Bye!

Bye.

- Oh!
- (BABY FUSSES)

SANTI: Ah.

Oops.

(BABY BABBLES)

(HIP-HOP SONG
LEAKS THROUGH HEADPHONES)

- (BABY BABBLES)
- Shh.

It's not for handing in.

Well, they're
really interesting.

(MUTTERS) Didn't f*cking ask.

Excuse me, what was that?

Do you have any idea how hard

I have to try
not to swear all day

at those little f*ck?

Very hard?

No of fence, but your son-in-law
is being a dipshit.

Santi's not my son-in-law.

I've tried so many times
to help him

and he just turns around

and acts like
an ungrateful dickhead.

He's still not my son-in-law.

I don't care how cute
that baby is.

Hmm. Now, she I will
take credit for.

Well, then in return,

you'd better spill on Matias.

(GULPS AUDIBLY) Sorry?

Croaker got a call
for a reference check.

Is he leaving?

How would I...

I'm not the Hernandez oracle.

I have no jurisdiction over
what that family does

or how they behave

or if they are going to apply
for a transfer

without telling anyone.

I've got more than enough
to deal with.

(BEROCCA FIZZES)

You know, be agile or die.

- DOM: Huh.
- BOWIE: OK.

DOM: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know.

What, is that, uh,
something you learnt

in your dog-walking
accreditation course?

No, it's something I learned
living in a tent.

But, uh, you know, nice try.

But Katerina already knows
I'm an accredited dog walker

and it's not embarrassing
to her.

(SPEAKS RUSSIAN)

(REPLIES IN RUSSIAN)

OK, OK.

OK, helping you find
your next step is important.

So what about
a delivery support consultant?

That sounds kind of agile, eh?
(LAUGHS)

(SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION)

Oh, don't worry, Katerina.

I've sighed many times like that
at the old B-train.

Is everything OK there?

What? I'm serious.

OK, so, yeah, OK.

If thinking I had rabies
taught me anything,

it's that time with loved ones
is all we've got.

- (SLOWLY) OK.
- Yeah, so...

- Since you were fired...
- Redundant.

In fact, 'sabbatical'
is probably more accurate.

Yeah, yeah, sabbatical.
Yeah, yeah, no.

'Cause, yeah, that sounds great.

That sounds expansive, you know?

So maybe, just maybe,
you don't wanna go back

into the same sort of thing.

What, you mean having a job?

Dad. Dad!

You are vibing a really nice
frequency at the moment

and... and it could be cool if
you keep that same frequency.

- And not...
- (SLAMS TABLE)

Not? Not? Not what?

Not be such a grumpy old man.

See, English is her second
language, remember.

(SPEAKS RUSSIAN)

Ah, yeah.
What... what was that?

Uh, she said
the grumpy thing again.

Since when have I been grumpy?

(SPEAKS RUSSIAN)

I'm never grumpy!

Maybe not grumpy, hey?

Maybe a workaholic?
Preoccupied, unavailable.

But, hey, hey,

you're way better now.

- Good to know. Great to know.
- Yeah, yeah, great.

Right. So we'll go
to the beach, yeah.

And... and... and you can
think about

freeing yourself from that
bloody whatever thing

it was you were doing before.

"Whatever thing"?

I ran an entire division
of people, Bowie.

You know exactly what I did.

KATERINA: No!

He doesn't.

I mean, does anybody really know
what their parents do?

(KATERINA SPEAKS RUSSIAN)

Is it too late to fix Bowie?

What?

Do you know what I used to do

for my job?

Um, yeah,
for the most part, yeah.

OK, and how do you describe it
to people?

Um, has something happened
with Bowie?

You don't know either, do you?

Oh, yes, of course I do.

Um, I've gotta go.

SANTI: Angie.

Oh! Hi, Santi.

Hey.

Um, you know,
you should probably

call me Ms Davis
when we're at school,

just to keep things clear.

Oh. Yeah.

Sorry. I'll do that.

(BABY FUSSES)

You're very good at that.

- Thanks.
- (BABY BABBLES)

Yeah, if I'm, um...
if I'm really in the zone,

I can smash it out.

Oh, and are you
in the zone today?

(SIGHS) Um...

Not really.

Ah.

Hey, um... (SNIFFS)

...can I ask you something?

Yeah.

I mean, is it to do with school?

Hmm... no.

OK, well, um, I know we have

a beautiful, gorgeous
little baby in common,

but if it's personal,

um, or if it's about
my daughter,

I'm... I'm just always gonna
take her side on things, so...

Right.

- ANGIE: Mmm.
- (SNIFFS)

That's fine.

(SANTI SNIFFS) I guess, um,

that's what mums are for, eh?

Oh, Santi, I... (SIGHS)

- Hey, it's OK.
- (ANGIE EXHALES)

Don't worry about it.

Thanks, um... Ms Davis.

Oh, you can call me Angie.
It's...

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(MUSIC LEAKS THROUGH HEADPHONES)

Hey, I was thinking
you should come over for dinner

and meet Bowie...
once he's unpacked.

And, well, showered.

(MUSIC LEAKS THROUGH HEADPHONES)

And you could...
you could stay over again.

Unless it's too hard
to sleep in my bed.

And then I was thinking

that we could go have sex
in the toilets.

SANTI: Hmm?

We could go right now
and have sex in the toilets.

Why?

Why not?

No reason.
I just don't... get it.

(OLY LAUGHS)

- I'm kidding.
- (LAUGHS WEAKLY)

- (OLY SIGHS)
- (BABY BABBLES)

Maybe he just didn't
feel like it.

No, but it was like
the whole thing

was an alien concept to him.

Like, I thought they were supposed to
want it all the time.

Maybe he had a big lunch.

Or hadn't had any lunch,
so was really hungry.

OLY: Hmm.

Or he just didn't wanna have sex
in front of his daughter.

We do that all the time.

Really?

Yeah.

REEMA: Hmm.

She can't tell. (LAUGHS)

Can she?

Oh, my God.

Have I already ruined
my daughter's psyche?

LIBRARIAN: Ahem!

(WHISPERS)
Shush or share, ladies!

REEMA: Huh?

Shush or share. What will it be?

- Sh-shush.
- OK.

OLY: Sh-shush.

Shhh!

(WHISPERS) Like, I don't know,

like, is he upset at me
about something?

Maybe he just had a sore p*nis.

Or he has an unusual spot on it.

Yes, and it's
a heart-shaped mole

and he didn't wanna
look desperate.

Or he got your name tattooed
on his p*nis

and he wants to surprise you.

Or there's a spelling mistake

and he just needs
to get it fixed up

before he shows it to me.

See? He really knows you.

(LAIDBACK QUIRKY MUSIC)

No, that is obstruction.

- I'm nowhere near you.
- Obstruction!

Hey... can we talk later?

Yeah. Yeah, totally.

Do you just wanna come with us?

Nah, it's OK.
You guys do your thing.

We're this way. Goodbye!

- Bye.
- Bye.

Oh, yeah, ball sports
for kindergarteners is...

State champions, you mean?

- (VEHICLE APPROACHES)
- REEMA: State champions!

(ENGINE SURGES)

VINCE: You OK?

(UNSETTLING SOUNDSCAPE)

Yeah.

Yeah, we're all good.

REEMA: I can't tell who's who.

We just have to follow
the numbers.

(LIVELY CHATTER)

Is that Tanya Plibersek?

Oh, my God.

TANYA: Pleasure to be here. It's
great. It's a great initiative.

I thought she was in Canberra.

I thought that Parliament
was sitting this week.

Do you know the House of Reps
schedule off by heart, do you?

Well, I thought I did.

She's not listed.

Yeah, she was just supposed to
send a representative.

OK, folks, well, if you could
please take your seats

for the first sitting.

(WHISPERS) sh*t.

Hey, what's the matter?

It's just I have to leave early
to get back to J,

so I might not get to meet her.

It's OK.

Let's be cool.

- Excuse me.
- Oh.

- Hi.
- TANYA: Hi. How are you going?

- GIRL: I'm good. How are you?
- Good. Nice to meet you.

Where do you go to school?

- Hello.
- Hi.

(MATIAS AND ROSA ARGUE
IN SPANISH)

SANTI: Shh.

(SANTI SINGS SOFTLY)

- (DOOR SLAMS)
- (BABY CRIES)

Shh. Hey.

(ROSA SHRIEKS) Matias!

You OK?

You have enough to worry about.

And the rest of us,
we have to go to work.

Are you, uh...

Are you leaving?

He's a hypocrite.

(ROSA SPEAKS SPANISH)

Yeah.

(DIALLED PHONE RINGS)

(RINGS BELL)

OK, folks, if the young leaders

can be the ones
to stand up, please,

and move one space to the right.

It was very nice to meet you.

Thank you. You too.

Hello.

(GIRLS LAUGH)

Uh, look, I'm sorry.
I think you need to go that way.

Oh! Yeah. Sorry. I knew that.

- Hi!
- (PHONE BUZZES)

- REEMA: Nice to meet you.
- Very nice to meet you.

Everything all right?

Uh, yeah. Yep. Sorry. Yep.

- TANYA: It's really hilarious.
- Oh, really?

(TANYA AND REEMA LAUGH)

(TANYA AND REEMA CHATTER)

I hope you don't mind me
saying so,

but checking your phone
straight up like that?

Bit of a no-no.

Oh, sorry. Um... So... so...

I have a baby at home.

Oh, yes! You're the one.

They mentioned it.

Uh...

Could we start again?

- (BABY CRIES)
- (SANTI SIGHS)

It's OK. Hey, come here.

- It's OK.
- (BABY CRIES HARDER)

(SINGS GENTLY)

(BABY CONTINUES CRYING)

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS) Arrgh!

(VEHICLE APPROACHES)

(WHISPERS) What the f*ck...?

Arrgh!

(SIGHS) Oh, no.

Hi! Hi. Hello.

I'm sorry. I'm normal.

That was weird, yes.

Um, I was just wondering
if I could borrow your phone,

um, to make a phone call.

It's just that mine just broke

and I have to get back to my
baby, who needs to feed in...

- Oh! You've got a baby.
- ..11 minutes ago.

Oh, here you go, hon.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

That's so embarrassing.
I don't know his number.

- (LAUGHS)
- Um...

Could I order an Uber on your
phone and I'll pay you back?

I'm so sorry.
I'm just waiting for one.

Oh.

- Are you on Insta?
- Digital detox.

- Sorry!
- Ohh!

Ah. OK.

Um... Er...

- OK. That's all right.
- Oh. OK.

Um... Thank you.

- Good luck.
- Uh... (LAUGHS) Thanks.

(BIKE BELL RINGS)

- SANTI: Far out!
- (BABY FUSSES)

I don't know, J. Shh.

- (BABY FUSSES)
- I don't know, JJ!

(BABY BABBLES)

Come on.

(SIREN WAILS NEARBY)

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

- (BABY CRIES)
- (MULTIPLE SIRENS WAIL)

(POIGNANT MUSIC)

(BABY CRIES)

(PHONE RINGS)

Oh, no. No, no, don't...

What's happened?

ANGIE: Hi, I just... I wanted

to apologise for today
about Oly.

- Something's happened to Oly?
- What do you mean?

She's not answering her phone.

I haven't been able to get
a hold of her for hours.

- Oh, that's not like her.
- I know. I know.

OLY: I'm here! (PANTS)

Oh! I'm so sorry.

- (BABY FUSSES)
- I dropped my phone. It broke.

- I don't have your number.
- Where have you been?

- Hey! I'm so sorry. Hey, J!
- Oly...

I had no idea where you were.

Hey, I told you where I was.
I was at the networking thing.

You could've been anywhere.

Oly, you could've been dead.

I thought you were dead.

(POIGNANT MUSIC)

(OLY COOS) Baby.

(POIGNANT MUSIC CONTINUES)

(WOMAN HUMS)

- Hey, you don't have to go.
- No.

- No, no, hey...
- But I want to.

My parents will love you.

It's not... they're not usually
like this. Sort of.

It's not because of that.

Oh.

Well, then why?

I thought you live near Bondi.

(BIRDSONG)

I know we said
we'd see what happens,

but me arbitrarily disappearing

isn't one of the challenges
I'd factored into the equation.

She just...

She just wasn't there anymore.

I didn't know what had happened.

One day, she just left
and then never came back.

And...

(SIGHS)

...it could happen to you.

It sounds so dumb, but I, um...

- It's just, like...
- You don't want me to die.

Yeah.

I didn't know you were
so worried about that.

Neither did I.

You know I'm gonna die one day.

- You're gonna die...
- Oly.

- J's gonna die.
- Shh.

- We're all gonna die.
- Uh-uh.

I reckon we're gonna be the
first family to live forever.

(LAUGHS) OK.

Remember that when we're 35
and we hate our lives.

J's not speaking to us
because we're mad at her

'cause she got a tattoo in Bali.

Did you get a tattoo
on your p*nis?

- What?
- Nothing. Nothing.

- Why did you ask that?
- It's nothing. No reason.

(OLY LAUGHS)

I'm so sorry about your mum.

If you're freaking out,

can you just tell me
that you're freaking out?

Mm-hm.

Yep.

(GENTLE MUSIC)

Hey?

Yeah?

Um...

...did you still wanna have sex
in the toilets?

(OLY CHUCKLES)

Yep!

(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC)