02x09 - Tickle Time Part 2

[bunniefuu]

DOM: You're a Zen master
and I'm in awe of you.

I'm a Zen master.
You're in awe of me.

You're a calming ocean breeze.

I'm a calming ocean breeze.

Even when bigoted old men
say sh*t just to get a rise...

- A Zen master.
- I'm a Zen master.

- And I'm in awe of you.
- And I'm...

...a coward.

Maybe I'm just a coward.

Guys, her brain is a sponge.

We don't know
what she might absorb.

Now's not the time
to doubt yourself, OK?

I'm a Zen master.

You're in awe of me.
I'm a Zen master.

(WHISPERS) I'm a Zen master,
I'm a Zen master.

I'm a Zen master.

You're in awe of me.

(HORN TOOTS)

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

(THEATRICALLY) Hi!

What ever happened to service
in this country?

- We did offer to pick you up.
- Oh, no, no.

The more I spend now
the less she gets later.

Oh! Someone's been
in a good paddock.

Hi, Bruce.

(STIRRING MUSIC)

No, no. I'll... I'll get it,
shall I?

Hi, Grandad.

(BABY GURGLES)

What's wrong with it?

(WHISPERS) I'm sorry.

(MUTTERS) At least
it wasn't r*cist.

- ANGIE: Do you want a tea?
- BRUCE: Mmm.

You think you'll miss
living in Singapore?

BRUCE: I'll miss the work ethic.

- (MUTTERS) Having a maid.
- (CHUCKLES)

BRUCE: Oh, have you got
any oat milk?

We've got soy.

Oestrogen milk?

I don't think so.

Explains quite a bit, though.

Oh, it's true what they say
about airlines doping you

through the air conditioning
system.

Give a holler

when Bowie comes in.

No of fence, but how
did he get four wives?

Four ex-wives.

- Huh!
- Come on!

Coming.

(CHUCKLES)

Where is he?

Did somebody say tickle time?!

That's right, tickle time!

(CURIOUS MUSIC)

(MEDICAL MONITOR BEEPS,
THEN FLATLINES)

(SHOUTS) Mum!

SANTI: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Ita, stop.

Para, para. No, no, no.

BERNARDITA: Angie's father died!

That's Oly's grandfather.

- Sorpresa's great-grandfather.
- I know, I understand.

I think it's just better if we
don't make a big deal of it, OK?

That's not right.

Imagine dying in Australia!

- Shh!
- I'm not dying here.

I know it's difficult
for you guys to understand,

but Oly didn't really know
her abuelo.

What about us? Are we supposed
to pretend nobody died?

Hola!

Hey, how are ya?

SANTI: Hey.

- Jacinda's... there for you.
- Yeah.

We're sorry to hear about
your father-in-law.

Oh, it's... it occurred, so...

You must be so sad.

Uh...

And hungry.

Well, I wouldn't want...
want to be rude.

Um, thank you.

Ahh!

Mmm!

Mmm.

Thank you.

How are the funeral
arrangements?

Oh, we're not gonna
go too overboard.

I can help you if you need.

I was just promoted
to event manager.

By whom?

By the creative director
of Rosa Hernandez, mi vida!

Well, congratulations.

Uh, but doing this for Ange
is the least I can do for her.

Ay, Dom.

I help you, you help me.

You can tell me
how you made your app.

I have my own idea!

- Oh, really?
- Yeah!

Oh, well, thanks.

It might be nice to send him off
with some fanfare.

Whoever k*lled him
has to open his suitcases.

Oly!

He died in my bed.

What if it's full of,
like, weird stuff?

Oly.

What? We didn't really
know him very well.

(SIGHS) Yeah, no, he...

He was just a man
who loved leisurewear.

What am I gonna do
with all this stuff?

You might find something
in there that you wanna keep.

But we can do it another day
if you prefer.

No, let's do it now.

(SIGHS)

(WHISPERS) "Christine."

(MYSTICAL MUSIC)

Hmm.

Our psycho grandma
who hasn't visited J yet.

BOWIE: Not Christine.

We'll just post it to her.

- Yeah.
- I...

I think we should
make sure she gets it.

Like... actually gets it.

Well, I'll get
the sedatives, then.

Oh, don't be silly.

I'm a calm ocean breeze,
remember?

- (INTENSE MUSIC)
- (WOMAN VOCALISES WORDLESSLY)

(CALLS) Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

(WIND CHIMES CLANG)

(SIGHS)

(WOMAN CALLS) Hello?

ANGIE: Hi!

Oh, hi, darling!

I'm outside.

(SIGHS)

So, um...

Dad...

...died.

I know.

How?

I felt him passing.

Oh, what?

Your little pills haven't
kicked in yet, have they?

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

You're really funny, Mum.

I didn't... I'm not...

I'm fine.

And, uh, J and Ol
are doing really well.

When she's ready to receive me,

I'll know,

and I'll be ready
to receive her.

Mmm. Well, take your time.

Oh, darling.

Haven't you resolved
your pelvic tension?

Do you wanna take this?

ANGIE: Yep. (SIGHS)

(ANGIE GROANS)

Yep, I'd love a cup of tea.

OK.

Usually you want lilies
or roses for the casket.

Something tasteful,
something luxurious.

You know what? I think, um...
less is more in this instance.

It's not gonna be a big affair.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to say 'affair'.

You don't have an opinion?

Not about your private life, no.
No judgement here.

I mean about the flowers.

Oh! Well, no.

Uh, well, yeah, but...

'Tasteful' and 'luxurious'
aren't adjectives

I'd use to describe Bruce.

And how would you describe
Bruce?

He was a... male person.

(MUTTERS) Oh, my God.

OK, so we'll see
what's white and cheap.

Well, that's in the ball park,
yeah.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

(OLY SPEAKS FRENCH)

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

(SPEAKS FRENCH)

Oly, I have no idea
what you're saying.

Go back. Keep going, keep going.

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

(SULTRY MUSIC)

- (SANTI SIGHS)
- (MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY)

OLY: Just to clarify,

I know that banning missiles
would be an unrealistic request

without some sort of
reciprocal arms agreement

separate to any trade terms,

but... I got carried away.

It's all good. I wasn't
too worried about it.

What's your fantasy?

- Huh?
- Your sexual fantasy.

I'm guessing it's not
UN-related.

Um...

You don't wanna tell me?

No, I just literally
don't have one.

You don't have a sexual fantasy?

Nope.

OK, um...

I could put on a high-vis vest.

(AMERICAN ACCENT)
Mornin', ma'am.

I've come to fix your pipes.

Nah, but, like, for real.

What if I was a tradie?

Your sexual fantasy
is to be a maintenance man?

Nah, like...

...like, in real life, like...

Like, what if I was a tradie
as my job?

OLY: Mmm.

I mean, if you need another
part-time job, that would be...

...very sexy.

It would probably...

It would probably
be more like a...

...like a full-time thing.

Like, instead of school.

(SONG ENDS)

What?

I mean, I don't need an ATAR

for what I wanna do, and...

Wait, wait, wait.
You wouldn't get your HSC?

I'm not gonna make any money
doing my HSC.

But...

You're thinking about
dropping out of school?

Yeah.

Is that a problem?

(MUTTERS) Oh, my God.

(GROANS)

Oh, I am having the most
delicious affair right now!

Well, you're obviously...

Oh, no, I'm pretty happy
with my lot at the moment.

Thanks for enquiring.

I should say I'm surprised,

but I did predict that you
and Dom would stay together.

There's something very
non-confrontational

about the two of you.

Or, dare I say, co-dependent?

(LAUGHS)

What?

Must be the 5G interfering
with your intuition.

Oh, yes?

Well, if you must know, we...
um, we broke up.

"Broke up"?

Well, that doesn't sound like

the mature resolution of
a 20-odd-year marriage.

We weren't married.

Oh, darling, I am sorry.

I didn't realise you regretted
the decision.

Don't you wanna know

what's in the letter?

No, but I could use
a hand with the compost.

- (FLIES BUZZ)
- (ANGIE SIGHS)

Oh, this is ripe.

Of course.

I go in the bucket, return it
to the earth via this heap.

Am I turning your poo?

Or do you call it 'nights oil'
in your world?

It's sh*t, Angela.

I call it sh*t.

You've lived in the city
too long.

Yeah, that's right, Mum.

There's no sh*t
in the Inner West.

Yes, but it's so easy to
distract yourself from the sh*t.

There's all that stuff
buzzing around.

There's no acceptance
of reality.

There's no peace.

Yeah, well,

maybe you've got peace
by avoiding life.

Thank you, Virginia Woolf.

THIS is life.

And she can't exactly talk.

You get to choose
which one you want.

No, just tell me
which ones are good.

Oh. OK.

You reckon people
will be able to tell

that we got Bruce
a cheap coffin?

Don't worry. We're gonna
decorate it with the flowers.

It's gonna be great.

Mmm, how many people
will be speaking?

Uh, I'm thinking
it's just Angie.

Why do I get the feeling that

this man is not celebrated?

He wasn't particularly, um...

He was kind of a...

An as*h*le?

You should have told me earlier.

Ever since I met him,
25 years ago,

I've been wanting to punch him

every day since.

Like, if his casket
was an open casket,

I'd consider punching
his corpse.

Amazing that Angie
can even function

with those two as parents.

What will Angie say
at the eulogy?

What do you say about
someone who's died?

"I'm broken forever. I..."

"I wish it was me
that died instead."

"My joy is buried with them."

Well, I... I don't
think that's...

...applicable in this case.

It's what Matias said
about his first wife.

I found the eulogy
in a box of papers

when we bought the food truck.

Wow.

I'm sorry.

Tell me about your app idea.

Yes. My app.

I thought about this app

that will organise all
the food trucks in the area.

And they get booked,

I get commission.

So you'll be, like,
queen of the food trucks?

- (BOTH LAUGH)
- I hope so. I like that.

Yeah, it's a good idea!

Thanks.

Do you think it's possible
to start again?

Are your father's
funeral instructions

as gauche as I think
they would be?

Why? Do you wanna come?

Is that what you want?

I only came

to give you this.

(FIRE CRACKLES)

Oh. Now, now, Angela.
Be like a tree.

Let the dead leaves fall.
Let them drop.

"Dear Christine..."

"I've been trying to calculate
how many days it's been"

"since we've seen each other."

No.

"But I couldn't quite
be accurate."

"You were always
the mathematician."

Angela!

Stop!

You don't have to do this.

This is his work, not yours.

You are not responsible

for what he did.

You're not responsible
for what I do.

Sometimes I feel quite strongly
that I was wrong

to pull you out of my body
with my own hands.

Did that make you
too reliant on me?

It's possible.

But do I dwell on it?

No.

I let it drop.

I just need to go to the bucket.

(SIGHS)

(MOTOR SPUTTERS NEARBY)

(MOTOR STARTS)

Mum?

(SCREAMS) Get back here!

Get back here right now!

(PHONE RINGS)

How'd you go?

I didn't go.

I am watching her go.

I am watching a grown woman

run away from me in a tinnie.

She is f*cked.

Don't say that.

Oh, who does that to someone?

I can come and get you
if you want.

Oh, I don't know.

No, I can come right now
and... and get you.

No, it's OK.

(SIGHS) I don't mind.

No, it's OK.
It's just... just shock.

I should have known.

I'm sorry, Ange.

(TURTLE CHIRPS)

Yeah, I'm sorry too, Dom.

You know what I mean?

You know what I meant.

Yeah. Yeah.

OK, I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna get the ferry.

I'll speak to you later.

- Well, I lo...
- (LINE BEEPS)

(TURTLE CHIRPS)

(PEACEFUL MUSIC)

SANTI: Like, why are we
even doing this?

- (THUD!)
- SANTI: Ow!

- OLY: Ow!
- Are you OK?

Do you really not want me
to leave school?

(SIGHS) No, I didn't say that.

- Would you be embarrassed?
- No. Why would I be embarrassed?

Because you haven't
fully told me

what you think about the idea.

Just like you haven't told me
your sexual fantasy.

I mean, for all I know,
your leaving school

could just be
an elaborate excuse

not to tell me your fantasy...

It's two chicks.

My fantasy is two chicks
and they do it in front of me.

Do you have a second fantasy?

Do you really not want me
to leave school?

(SIGHS)

Of course I don't want you
to leave school.

But not because of
why you think.

Thanks a lot for thinking
that I'm a massive snob.

Anyway, it's scary.

The statistics on school leavers
isn't very reassuring.

Well, aren't I reassuring?

And you know Paul Keating
left school when he was 14

and became the prime minister
of the country.

Oh!

Is that right, Mr Research?

If we're not at school
together, then...

...we might drift apart.

Yeah, but Oly, it's only
for a little bit.

And then we can afford
our own place

and we'll be together
all the time.

You're really serious.

You've thought a lot about this.

Does that mean you already have
some high-vis?

(GATE SQUEAKS)

(SIGHS)

- (DOM SNIFFS) Ange!
- Oh, God!

Please. You don't need
to call me that.

(LAUGHS) What are you doing,
skulking out here in the dark?

Oh, I wanted to see
how you were.

It seemed less weird than
waiting inside without you.

Ohh. It's your house too.

DOM: I guess.

You OK?

(GROANS)

I don't know.

(SIGHS)

What's the matter?

Oh, just a bit tired.

I'm gonna go to bed.

Need anything?

No.

No, no.

Thanks, Dom.

'Night.

What do you think?

I think I just
sprung my parents.

You really don't wanna
f*ck a tradie, do you?

Sorry. Sorry, sorry.

(OLY SIGHS)

I think...

...that you look highly visible.

You like?

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

Ita, shh!

This day seems
so well organised.

(GUEST SIGHS)

(BLOWS NOSE)

Sorry, mate, I just, um...

I think I...
I think I k*lled my grandad.

(WHISPERS) I have never drunk
fizzy drink at a funeral before.

What's she gonna say?

How do you eulogise an arsehole?

(SIGHS)

The upshot is

my dad won a bronze medal
for canoeing

at the Commonwealth Games

and then he left my mum
when she had cancer.

That is...

...ch-ch-ch...

Yeah, that's all
that's worth saying.

(APPLAUSE)

Shh.

('RUMBA EN CAHUÍTA'
BY PEROTÁ CHINGÓ)

♪ One day I been to a festival

♪ Me and my melodious band

♪ They were having bacanal

♪ They were happy to see
the calypsonian, yeah

♪ One day I been to a festival

♪ Me and my melodious band

♪ They were having bacanal

♪ They were happy to see
the calypsonian

♪ Someone is playing the tumba

♪ Someone is

♪ Singing

♪ Melodiously

♪ But then they wanted a rumba

♪ And they
beg me

♪ To bring them my melody

♪ And I'm
singing

♪ Oye mi

♪ Rumba

♪ Mi rumba, mi rumba

♪ Mi rumba de Cahuíta

♪ Mi rumba chiquitita

♪ Pero bail a la rumba, mi rumba

♪ Mi rumba, mi rumba

♪ Mi rumba

♪ Rumba de Cahuíta. ♪