02x05 - Good Luck with That

[bunniefuu]

KIRT: Excuse me, excuse me.

Do you know where

the Skate Church is?

-Of course.

-All right, thank you!

(TIRES SCREECH)

(RAUCOUS MUSIC PLAYS)

What if you guys

start dancing a little bit?

You a TikTok star now?

SPEAKER: My ex wanted to bring

another girl in,

and that sh*t was basically

just an off ramp to breaking up.

ASH: Hey.

Why are we even doing

photo shoots here?

I'm just trying to make

some money

because I'm, like, homeless

right now.

Are you kidding me?!

-KIRT: Whoa.

-Oh, my god. We made it.

Can you just, like, take me

already?

sh*t. Take is such

an unclear word to use for this.

I'm just gonna go.

CLIENT: So, Violet. I have

5,000 dollars for you

if you let me do

one thing.

[TV static drones]

[bright tone]

- [wolf whistle]

What's up, sexy?

Where you coming from, baby?

Looking good!

Oh, my God, baby.

[wolf whistle]

Where you going, mama?

You looking good!

Oh, my Go--

Oh, my God, baby girl.

Come here, braids.

Where you going?

- Yo!

Those are twists,

not box braids!

- Get the f*ck out of my face.

- Yo, stop with that

harassment sh*t, man.

- You have a tampon--no?

- Tampax?

- Two of them.

Oh, there you go! Look.

- Yes, yes, yes.

- Take one of these!

Anything!

- You sure?

- They're clean.

- Okay, cool.

- They're clean.

- Gentlemen, come on!

Gentlemen, come on, come on.

Come on, come on, let's go,

let's go, let's go, let's go!

One, two, three!

all: Single mom!

Single mom!

- Get back to work!

- You shut up, kids.

Go paint your nails!

- We already do, m*therf*cker!

- Get--the f*ck is wrong

with you guys?

And I'm not single.

- I feel like

it's kinda working

but it's also not working.

- It's not working.

[serene music]



- [singing in Russian]



- You good?

- Yeah, I'm fine.



And bend your knees.

Yeah, I'ma push you

with my hands.

- Okay, wait.

- Okay, one, two, three.



- [groans]

- Good job.

- I can't go up that ramp.

I just--

- Good job.

- Thank you.

- Yo, Micah never taught you

how to skate?

- Obviously not.

- Oh, my God.



[indistinct chatter]



[door creaks]

- I'm heading to NFD right now,

and, you know,

I could really use my manager,

if you wanna come.

Can you hand me that, uh,

shirt underneath you?

That one right there?

Hello?

Okay, well, I'm going,

and I really--

[grunts]

You--you wanna come?

Indigo!

[grunts]

Why'd you do that?

[sighs]

- [sighs]

- Are you okay?

- See those greens?

That's what I need.

More greens.

Let people know to bring those.

I'm good on dry goods,

canned goods.

- It's all canned goods

at a food drive.

You can't ask people to bring

f*cking vegetables

to our party.

- What's wrong with you?

It's that little boy?

- No.

- I'll put him in one of these,

that's my word.

Put him in a casket.

He violated?

- No!

- All right.

What is it, then?

- [sighs]

Okay, so we were kissing,

but every time it--

- Okay, okay, okay.

You can slow down right there.

That's a conversation for you

and your little girlfriends,

okay?

Uh, is there any other way

I can help?

You know, kissing and sh*t

- I don't even know

if he likes me.

- Every time I see you

around him,

he's like a little puppy dog.

It's written all over his face.

That's a easy one.

Where's the problem?

- Okay. [sighs]

Okay, so why doesn't he

just go for it?

- Okay, I think I understand.

So y'all hanging out,

get a little crudy

or whatever,

and he's taking it

very slow, right?

As he should.

It's Me Too era.

You understand?

Like, guys like us,

you have to be

absolutely certain.

Can't take chances like that.

So I like the way

he's operating.

He's being a gentleman.

I like--

You're--you're--you're starting

to make me like this guy.

I like the way he's moving.

Where's the problem?

- What am I supposed to do?

- You have to find a way to

give the guy the green light.

f*ck am I talking about?

Okay, look.

Know what?

This conversation's over.

Think you can figure it out

from here?

Tell you this, though,

that boy violate,

he gonna be looking

like this guy right here.

- Ugh.

- I had the keys, right?

So why do I have to tell you

when I'm coming over?

- I mean,

is that a crazy thing to ask?

- Yeah.

Do we need a facilitator?

- Apparently, we do.

- Hey, I'm just here

to support y'all.

You know, I'm not here

to ruin anything.

I'm my own primary partner,

and I thought--

- Wait, wait.

What does that mean?

- That y'all are each other's

primary partners--

- No, you said you're your own

primary partner.

What is that?

- That--

- How?

- That I am mys--I am my own

primary partner.

- Wh--

- I just have some skills

that I thought

I could support y'all with,

'cause I think what you have

is so beautiful,

and, you know,

you could use this moment

to transform together,

to actually get closer

and build trust.

- I'm just hearing

a lot of words,

and I don't understand

what you're saying.

- You know, when we listen

- [groans]

- We can either listen

with jackal ears

or with giraffe ears.

- Oh, God.

- Jackal criticizes and blames,

and a giraffe feels their way

through it with an open heart.

- Honeybear, what's up?

- What?

I'm listening, you know,

with my zebra ears.

- Giraffe.

But zebra works too.

I think zebras

have open hearts.

So maybe we can do, like,

a zebra breathing exercise

to all get on the same

vibration about,

like, where

we're trying to meet?

- Yeah, I would do that.

- So would--would you be down

to, like, put your--

put your hand on your chest?

And take a deep breath

into your deep belly.

- Oh, my God.

- Now

[exhales heavily]

All the way down

through the ground.

Take a deep breath in.

- Hey!

- Hey, girl, hey!

What's going on here?

- I just wanna skate.

- Camille,

we are all about skating.

- I get that,

but I'm not an influencer.

- Camille, you say it

like it's a bad word!

- Well,

it's just not me at all.

- Camille, you are, like,

the Mia Hamm

of your generation.

You are Camille Thee Stallion.

- No, no, no, you are Venus

and m*therf*cking Serena.

- Yeah.

- In what way, I--

- And this is why we want you

to do our Instagram takeover.

- Right?

We have, like,

1/2 million young Camilles

just waiting to be inspired.

Plus, it pays.

- Are we cool?

- Yeah, yeah, I get it.

- We good?

- Yeah, I--I get it.

- Okay, amazing! Yay!

- Yeah? Yeah?

- God of Skate Church,

we ask thee to bless

and sanctify this chip

to the souls of all those

who partake of it,

that we may skate

with his spirit.

Amen.

- No.

- Um, it's a sin

if you don't take it.

- I'm not down with mocking

people's beliefs.

- I did 12 years

of Catholic school.

- So when you heading

back to the city?

- I don't know.

- If you're, like,

in a hurry or whatever?

- I'm not.

- Okay, well,

what I'm just saying is that

you don't have

to worry about me.

You can just do you.

[Freak Slug's "Disorder"]

- Okay.

- Thanks for the sandwiches.

- What?

- I've been waiting

for a guide to come

And take me by the hand



Could these sensations

make me feel the pleasures

Of a normal man



These sensations barely

interest me for another day



I've got the spirit,

lose the feeling

Take the shock away



- You okay?

Huh?

You've been in there

a long time.

[sighs]

I'm gonna piss myself.

Just, uh, making sure

you're okay, you know?

Anything?

Okay.

Okay.

[melancholy music]



- Yo, Tai.

Hey.

I think Tai broke up with me

but in a friend way.

I wanna text him,

but I don't know what to say.

[sighs]

I don't know if he kno--

if he thinks that

I'm mad at him or--

I know that he knows

that I know that I'm--

he's mad at me.

- Are you mad at him?

- No, I'm not.

I'm really not.

- All right, then.

- But I don't--

I don't know how I feel.

Like, why am I being

so dramatic?

It's like we're going out

or something, and--which is--

no, it's--we're not, I--

I don't know.

What do I say?

- Just f*cking text him, bro.

- What's good with you?

- [sighs deeply]

I had a bad date.

- Oh.

Are you okay?

Do you want a hug?

[dramatic music]



- Yeah, so frog legs.

I don't f*cking care

about frog legs anymore.

I don't really--

- Yo, I'm gonna go.

- Okay.

- Whatever.

- Yo, Shelby!

Shelby, wait!

[door creaks]



- Here.

- I'm not going, Camille.

- One sec, I can get

something else that's better.

- It's too sparkly.

- But animes sparkle.

- It's not sparkle.

It's kira kira.

- Oh, okay, hold on, got it.

Um

I don't know if this is that,

but--uh, a white dress!

It's--white dresses are scary.

You got ghosts in them and

- It doesn't matter,

because I'm not going.

- All right, listen.

I'm going as a banana,

and I'm gonna look so stupid,

and you're gonna be in one

of those and look hot as f*ck.

And guess what.

Turns out, you can't say no

to a banana,

'cause they're good for you.

You know this is true.

Put one of those things on,

and let's go get f*cked up

on Halloween.

That's what you're

supposed to do.

[La Femme's "Exorciseur"]



- Ooh

[singing in French]



- Yeah, buddy, I like it.

All right, nice.

- Everybody likes it.

- Okay, next.

- Farouk, what is all this?

- It's a food drive

for the elderly.

You need food to get in.

- Who organized it?

- I don't know, I don't know.

You, I thought you did it.

- No!

[hip-hop music playing]

Janay!

What happened to having

a small gathering?

- It got a little bigger.

- What about keeping

this place low-key?

- It's not that serious.

- I found this place!

- Yeah, you've mentioned that

a few times now.

- 'Cause you still

won't respect it!

- How do you want me

to acknowledge

that you found this space

but you don't do sh*t?

- I want half of what we raise.

- Half of the canned goods?

- No!

We need to be charging money!

- For what?

- For my f*cking rent!

- As hard as it may be

for you to imagine,

but there are people out here

who are actually hungry.

Not upset because Seamless

f*cked up their order!

- [scoffs]

- Legit hungry!

People lost their jobs,

their homes.

They're marching in the street

for their f*cking lives!

Do you not get that?

- Don't be talking to me with

your hands all up in my face.

You don't know my f*cking life!

- I know enough!

- You don't know sh*t about me!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- What is wrong with you?

- Yo, yo, yo, whoa!

- You don't know sh*t

about me!

You don't know sh*t about me!

- Chill out, relax.

Whoa, what--

what's wrong with you?

You guys are friends.

Relax, man.

You okay? What do you need,

a hug or something?

- No, that's not what I need,

Farouk.

- So what's wrong?

- But I know you got

some extra Molly.

- There's no extra, man.

There's just the Molly

I'm gonna do.

- Give me some f*cking Molly.

- I don't even think

that's a good idea.

- Farouk!

- Okay!

Oh, whoa, okay, all right.

Just--

All right, man.

I--this is a bad idea,

but happy Halloween.

Have fun.

And just relax, man, chill out.

[gibbering]

[Clips X Ahoy's "Blow"

playing]

- Oh, that girl, bam

Oh, that girl

Yeah, she bad

and she know it

She bad and she know it,

she drop it

Drop it, drop it

- Oh, my gosh, I love it!

- She bad and she know it

She bad and she know it

She drop it, drop it,

drop it

When she hear

that whistle blowin'

Blow the whistle

and roll it

Blow the whistle

and roll it

Blow the whistle

and roll it

Blow the whistle,

blow the whistle

Blow the whistle

and roll it, roll it

Blow the whistle

and roll it

Blow the whistle

and roll it

She drop it, drop it,

drop it

- What are you doing?

- Turn that off!

Turn that off!

- What are you doing?

- This the best part, though!

- No.

- Workin' hard

for that paper

All types of flavors

Tell me,

what's your favorite

- What y'all know about this?

I was in "Soul Train" twice.

- Gonna throw it back

- Two times.

- Hold up, now dip it

Pop it, baby, then spin it

Bad b*tches be winnin'

She bad and she know it

Roll it, roll it, roll it

She make you cut

slow motion

Blow the whistle

and roll it

[cheers and applause]

- I am healthy,

I am wealthy

I am rich, I am that b*tch

I am gonna go get that bag

And I am not gonna

take your sh*t

I am protected,

well respected

- Baby, it was so good.

- It was so incredible.

- Thanks, I used

my giraffe eyes to edit it.

- Should I go?

- Just--just f*ck it.

- I get bands,

but this ain't magic

- Yo!

All right.

- Don't need the hate,

my back's to you

[upbeat electronic music

playing]



- Janay, you're f*cked up.

- No, I'm not.

If I was f*cked up,

would I be able to do this?



Take yo' banana.

- You know how to twerk?

- Yeah, hell yeah,

I know how to twerk!



- All right,

I'm not doing that.



- Little bite?

- Ooh!

- Little snacky snack?

- Oh, yes!

[laughs]

Mmm.

Hey, um, do you know if VICE

is filming us right now?

- Well, that's news to me.

I hope they are.

- Oh, okay.

- You good?

All right, enjoy.

- Thank you, thanks.

Mmm.

Oh, that's delicious.



- Excuse me, Kirt!

- Oh, my God, is Kirt here?

- What?

What the f*ck?

[birds hooting, squawking]

- So, Shelby, what I've been

thinking is that,

um, I feel like

we've just been having

a really good time together

and, um

we click really well,

and I feel like you're just

a really beautiful girl,

and I just feel like

I wanna say

that I think that

I lo--

[exhales]

Okay.

[Bow Wow Wow's "I Want Candy"

playing]



[laughter]



- I know a guy

who's tough but sweet

- You, me, we just wanna

waste some time

Do just what we like,

yeah

Got an appetite

For the finer things

in life, boy

You just gotta

treat me right

From the day to the night

- [laughs]

- Oh, it's the way

you spin me round

I can't seem

to find the ground

Oh, never meant

to lose my mind

Just a little

bump and grind

Too fast,

windin' up my waistline

Too much,

I'ma run the baseline

Higher,

I can almost taste it

Leave me satisfied

- Hey!

- Yo, what's up, what's up?

What's up?

Hey.

- What are you supposed

to be--like, a house cat?

- Stop.

- Rawr.

[laughter]

- Yeah, whatever.

- You need to be, like,

domesticated?

- Oh.

I like the sound of that.

- [laughs]

Oh.

- Hey, where we going?

Where we going?



- Hey, Tai.

- Yo.

- How are you?

- Why are you f*cking--

why--why you--

why you coming up to me

right now?

- Um, to say hi.

And talk to you.

- You been weird lately.

You been weird as f*ck.

- Yeah.

I wanna let you know that I--

I didn't cut you

out of that video.

- Well, it's not like

you didn't,

but you didn't

say sh*t anyways.

- I know, and I'm sorry.

It was for--

- Well

[scoffs]

Whatever, you're a d*ck.

- I think you should sit down

and not drink any more of this.

Hey, come on.

Sit down.



Oh, my God.

- Why are you a f*cking banana?

- Uh, it's Halloween, and I--

I thought, I like bananas.

I like your costume,

but, like

- What are you doing?

- Taking this off,

'cause it's like you have

knives on your fingers,

and you're gonna hurt yourself.



- Why--why are you over here?

- To say I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

I know that, like,

I was beingan as*h*le.

And I--I want

to really say sorr--

- [retches]

Nice socks.

- Sit down, sit down.

[laughs]

- Whoa.

Whoa.

[chuckles]

- Take it off.

Take it off!

- [laughs]

- Yeah.

Whoo!

[laughs]

- Hold on.



Hey.

Hey.

- Whoo! f*ck!

- Whoa!

All right, all right,

all right.

All right,

you're all f*cked up.

- No, I'm not. No, I'm not.

No, I'm not!

Sit, sit down, sit down.

- All right.

- Here.

- All right, wait.

Okay, wait, wait.

- How do you--

- Janay, Janay.

- How do you take this off?

- Janay, Janay!

- Where the f*ck is the--

- Janay.

- No, no, no, just--just--

- Janay, stop.

- Just--just--shh.

- No.

- Look, look, look.

Just take this off right--

- Janay.

- What?

- You're f*cked up.

- Wow!

Okay.

You know what?

Whatever, Miss Manners.

I'ma go find someone else.

- Janay, stop!

I wanna do this.

But not like this.

Trust me, it's, like--

it's not the right time.

[SALEM's "Fires in Heaven"]

Fire, fire, fire

In the sky



Fire, fire, fire

In the sky

Fire, fire, fire



Fire, fire, fire

In the sky



Fire, fire, fire

In the sky



Fires in the sky

Inside my mind



[Simian Mobile Disco's

"Hustler" playing]

- Hey, yo.

- Hi.

- Hey, what's up?

You remember me?

It's Jay.

Uh, it's me, it's--

[chuckles]

- Hi.

- It's Jay, you remember?

- Oh, hey, hi.

- Yeah.

I saw on Instagram you guys

were doing this party.

This place is awesome.

- Yeah.

Drink again.

- So, uh, that was fun.

The other night,

just hanging out.

Our date thing or whatever.

That was a good time, right?

You have a good time?

- Yeah, um, I--

I really love the board, I--

- Yeah.

I'm glad.

Cool, cool.

- Mm-hmm.

- All right.

Well, see you later.



- You dated him?

- No, it was, like,

a sugar baby thing I did.

- Wait, you're a prost*tute?

- N--no.

I don't--no.

- Really?

- No.

- [laughs]

- Keep drinking the water.



- Gotta make

what you gotta make

In this here life



It's 8:00

And I got nothing to do

Can't go to the club

So I guess I go

to the record store

Visit my record man

with my sticky hands

- Yo, hey, it's, uh--

it's Jay, it's

No, you don't remember me,

with the Tony Alva board?

What's up, how you doing?

Everything good?

- Get away.

- You remember me, right?

- Hey.

- What's up? How you doing?

You doing all right?

What's going on?

- I said back off!

- Yo, what the f*ck is wrong?

- Hey, hey!

- Time to go.

- Get the f*ck off me, man!

- Come on, man.

You heard the lady.

- Respect the female!

- Get the f*ck off!

- Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!

My man, we ain't asking.

- Yo, get the f*ck

out of my face.

- Or what, my dude?

- Just so you know,

I train

in Brazilian jiujitsu.

[laughter]

- Shut the f*ck up.

- f*ck you up.

- Yo!

- What the f*ck?

[all grunting, yelling]

[melancholy music]



[bright tone]

(ELECTRONIC PARTY MUSIC

PLAYS)

Yo, Shelby!

Hey!

Yo, I told Micah.

Told Micah what?

I've been spiraling.

Like I don't know what to do.

What was that with that guy

back there?

-HONEYBEAR: He's just a guy.

-ASH: Really, Honeybear?

And then he put me

in skimpy a*s clothes

that you can't even skate in.

They don't care

about any of this.

(CLAMORING)

(SIREN CHIRPS)

I-- I just wanted to let

you guys know

that I-- I called the cops.

-So don't--

-You what?!

(MUSIC CONTINUES)