04x08 - Jeffurry

[bunniefuu]

[PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES]

OLY: Oh, my God, Shauna.
Please stop.

SANTI: Yeah, it's, like... It's
kinda bothering me a little bit.

This is, like,
my first big commission

and nobody's even gonna see it.

Not that I want them to.

But now I gotta meet
this new furry

and who knows what
he's gonna be like.

What's a good meet-a-furry
shirt?

He'll be hilarious.

[LAUGHS] Obviously
the capybara T-shirt.

SANTI: Really?

It's a little unprofessional,
don't you think?

What do I wear to be
invisible to my boss

who's in a bad mood
and it's like... she's possessed.

Isn't she always like that?

Uh, she's been emailing me
since 4am.

[SNIFFS] She's on a rampage.

[SIGHS] You should quit.
I've told you that.

Why don't you quit?

'Cause of da money!

Well, then maybe
we've gotta suck it up.

Just be grateful.

- Mm-hm.
- Deep breath.

JACINDA: Mum, do you know
where my pirate socks are?

They're exactly
where you left them!

[PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES]

Ooh, it's happening.

[PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES]

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

What did I miss?
Any public executions?

Well, she, uh, ripped
the comms team a new one

for not emptying the dishwasher.

And I'm pretty sure I saw

one of the planning managers
crying in a meeting.

So, yeah, pretty standard.

Why is she like this?
What... is wrong with her?

Oly, just put your head down
and do the work.

Remember, don't argue with her.

Nice to see you roll up, eh?

Must be great having kids.
Make your own schedule.

Show up late, go home early.

Work from home.
Whatever you want, hey?

Marcus was here at 7:00.

I was speaking to IT about

how to make pages
on the new intranet.

Just like you asked me to.

I don't remember
asking you that.

[PHONE RINGS]

Oh, for f*ck's sake!

If you want, I could introduce
you to Fernando, my bean guy.

Please don't do that.

DOM:
Now, this is pure rainwater...

...for the ozone.

How long does it take?

[SIGHS] Three hours.

Yeah, you can't rush
a piece of art, mate.

Worth the wait.

Can you just give me the bloody
Bitcoin so I can go to work?

I can't physically
give it to you, mate.

That's the point of
the password.

That's why I asked you
to write it down.

Yeah, and I know I said
I wrote it down,

but I didn't write it down, so...

Well, luckily for you,
I wrote it down -

on a card

in the pocket of my jeans.

- Do you mean your blue jeans?
- Yeah.

They are in the wash.

But...

But you checked
the back pocket, yeah?

Before you washed them?

You always check
the back bloody pocket!

Jeez!

Don't do that! You can't
turn it off until it's done!

- Front-loader bullshit!
- TIM: Stop doing that!

- Two hours?!
- You're gonna make it worse.

Guys, calm down.
There's no need to fight.

It's just a couple of
hundred bucks.

Uh, mate, it's not just
a couple of hundred bucks.

I feel like it crashed.

- It's, like, nearly 50 grand.
- 50 grand!

It did crash.
And then it peaked.

It crashes and peaks every hour.
It's like a set of waves.

It's probably gonna be worthless
by the time this cycle's over!

TIM: I don't think
we can turn it off!

BOWIE: What do we do?

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

[GATE SQUEAKS]

[EXHALES STRONGLY]

[DARK MUSIC]

SANTI: Hey.

I'm Santi.

You are...

[GRUFFLY] Jeffurry.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Just...

It's a really nice place
you have.

[CLOCK CHIMES]

Just... around?

Do you want me to go up or...

[UNSETTLING MUSIC]

We're gonna go... down?

Yeah. Sure.

[DOOR SQUEAKS]

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- f*cking...

[LAUGHS]

Your face.

I'm Jeff.
I was just messin' about.

- Oh.
- Don't be scared.

[CHUCKLES]

Um... so where are you thinking?

For the piece.

Right. Yep.

So...

- ...I'm thinking...
- Uh-huh.

...of getting rid of
my angry dead dad painting.

I want something that
celebrates me on the wall.

OK, yeah. Of course.

Um...

So are you thinking about, like,

sort of where the painting is

or what are you...

I mean, the whole wall.

Go the ceiling as well. Why not?

You know, Sistine Chapel style.

So, um, that's a pretty big job.

Um, how much are you
thinking of spending?

TIM: $49,942.

Yeah, no, I just... I've... I've
gotta take a personal day.

Yeah, no, it's this whole, um...

...family emergency type scenario...

...thing.

Yeah, thanks, Jagdev.

Alright.

TIM: Nice.

Maybe... maybe don't unpeel it.
You know, it could rip.

Do you want me to dry it?
In the oven?

I saw a documentary
on the 'Titanic'

where they bring things up and
they put it in trays of water.

- Great idea.
- Yeah?

Ready? Moving on.

[SIGHS] OK.

Yes. Yes, yes!

Ah, sh*t.

Alright, OK. I need to write
that down. Wait one sec.

DOM: f*ck' corner bit's
peeled off.

It's got 16 digits
and we're missing...

We need six more.

OK, guys, it's in your brain somewhere.

We just have to access it.
Is it letters or is it numbers?

- Letters.
- Numbers.

- Numbers.
- Letters.

- Letters.
- Numbers.

TIM: OK, focusing.

If it is numbers,
it's probably a date.

Well, it was my 21st.
It could be my birthday.

DOM: You're a genius.
Get the laptop.

OK, we've got seven tries and
then you're locked out forever.

[ALL GROAN]

OK, that actually
wasn't my birthday.

- That was Oly's birthday.
- Sorry, mate.

It's just the stress of it all.
Let me put your...

Let... let me. Look.

[ALL GROAN]

Maybe it's my birthday.
You think?

TIM: Maybe.

[ALL GROAN]

- Mum.
- Yes. Definitely Mum.

- Is she October?
- Yep.

- Oh, guys, come on!
- I told you!

Three more tries.

[SHAUNA SINGS]
♪ Shauna's in a good mood!

♪ So she got everybody doughnuts

♪ Doughnuts in the kitchen
today! ♪

Everyone, I am in love
with all of you.

You can all work from home tomorrow.

And free high-fives
in my office,

if you're looking for 'em.

Love you!

- [MARCUS SCOFFS]
- Doughnuts of guilt.

Probably poisoned.

- You gonna have one?
- Yes!

- Are you?
- Pff! No.

I'm disabled enough.
Good luck, though.

So I left my corporate job
to start my own business

so I don't have to hide
who I truly am.

So, yeah, I'm just looking for

an amazing piece of art
that, uh...

SANTI: I'm sorry. Go on.

...showcases my true fursona,
you know what I mean?

Well... [SIGHS]
Look, man, it's really...

...whatever you feel
will represent you.

Maybe it's me getting my OAM.

OK, yeah. What's that?

- Order of Australia.
- Wow.

- You... you have one of those?
- Not yet.

But I'm, yeah, going to. Definitely.

It's just a matter of time, so...

Oh, you know what?

Maybe it should be like Shane
Warne's mural, but instead,

it's me and a bunch of other
famous people as furries.

You know? [SMACKS LIPS]

All over the place.

- OK.
- You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, who would you want?

The Pope.

The Rock.

Whoever, you know what I mean?

You've seen Warnie's mural, right?

SANTI: I'll google it.

Best worst painting ever!

VINCE AND SANTI: Mmm.

How have I never seen this
before?

I don't wanna criticise
another artist's work.

Like, they were probably just
doing what he asked for, but...

He didn't even ask
for Batman, bro.

I don't know, bro,
I kinda like it.

Do you think you can
drop me in there?

What do you think
should be my fursona?

Maybe you just need to find
something to love about the job.

VINCE: Yeah. I find
something to love

about every baby
I help get born.

A lot of people would
love to be getting paid

to explore their artistic side.

If we had one.

Well, I would love to be doing
work that I believe in.

Like some other people.

Look, it's a few days.
You get paid...

No, it's not days. It's weeks.

The wall's massive.

And he offered me
a really good rate.

Oh, well, there you go.

That's something
to love about it.

[SIGHS]

We are moving through a tunnel.

We are going back in time.

Think about buying the Bitcoin.

Why did you buy the Bitcoin?

I wanted to buy
something significant

for Bowie's 21st birthday.

[MYSTICAL MUSIC]

When I was 21,
I got my first car.

Then I realised
Bowie's not a car person.

But I wanted him to feel
the way that car made me feel.

I loved that car.

I thought perhaps...

...he could use the money
to see the world.

Walk the Santiago trail.

Whatever it was,
I wanted him to feel

the way that car made me feel.

And by the time...

...he knew what he wanted
to do with the money,

that perhaps the Bitcoin...

...might be worth something.

Whatever it was...

...I just wanted him to feel
the way the car made me feel.

[MUSIC STOPS]

I know what it is.

It's my licence plate!

- You only have two...
- D-T-Y...

...1-4-6.

[BEEPS]

- We're in!
- Yes!

Yes!



No.

No, it's dropped
three grand already.

Bowie, uh, download this app

and cash this in immediately.

[ENIGMATIC MUSIC]

MAN IN VIDEO: ..total dollars
that you want to invest

and not the number of coins
you want to buy.

And this... this is my personal,
private, red-hot tip.

This is my... my secret key
to investing and winning.

Hold no more...

[SNORES SOFTLY]

Using my strategy, I've made
five times my initial...

Yeah, I've been thinking
a lot about,

you know, what we talked about
last time we met.

Let me know what you think of
something like that.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah!

That looks good!

That's... good.

[CUCKOO CLOCK CHIRPS]

You're not in...
You're not into it?

It's not my thing but, um...

...if you're into it,
that's what matters, right?

Yeah. Okey-dokey.

Kinda want the artist to be
excited about the work, though.

What even is cyber money?

- Oh!
- Isn't it a scam?

Does it even really exist?

Uh, yeah, I'm gonna
mansplain this to you, Mum.

Cyber money is no less real
than the imaginary money

you're playing with
on your phone.

Money exists because
people believe in it, right?

Crypto's no different.

Isn't it bad for
the environment?

You know, there are
a lot of smart people

working on resolving that
problem with renewables.

And I mean, really, it's the
banks and the stock markets,

they're the ones that are
invested in fossil fuels.

They're the ones that are
protecting the status quo.

[WHISPERS] This is the future.

I wanna help
you and Edie invest.

Even if I had lots of money
lying around,

I wouldn't invest in something
that makes no sense.

But it's good to see you
excited about something.

- Hey, Boz.
- Yeah?

Did you end up
selling that crypto?

I heard it was worth,
like, 50 grand.

I, uh... I diversified
my portfolio.

I'm... I'm part of a community of

paradigm-shifting visionaries
at the moment, yeah.

You know, if you're interested,
you can follow me @cryptobrowie.

- I'm not supporting that.
- [LAUGHS] What a surprise.

Yeah, go and be a sad little
no-coiner, Ol.

See how far you get with that.

Alright, you big, boring
crypto fascist.

- [PHONE RINGS]
- I, uh...

Yeah, I have to, uh,
go and make some trades.

Did he just say
he's gonna make a trade?

[SNICKERS]

- Wow.
- [PHONE RINGS]

- Hi, Shauna.
- Hey, Oly. Where are you?

You said that I could
work from home.

Don't remember saying that.
Everybody else is here.

- Marcus is here.
- OK. I'll come straight in.

I don't know why you think

you deserve some kind of
special treatment.

I don't think that.

I'm glad that
you don't think that,

'cause you're nothing
f*ck' special, alright?

You're barely above average.

Excuse me, you are being a bully

to my sweet and lovely
adult child

who works very hard for you.

I'm gonna have to set
some boundaries.

Thank you so much, Mum,

for coming to the rescue
for little baby Oly.

Wow. This behaviour is not OK.

- God!
- Mum!

No job is worth
being treated like that,

being spoken to like that.

- She was being a bully.
- You are!

[MUTTERS] Oly.

You can get another job
in five seconds.

Stop being silly.

[SCREAMS] You're silly!

No, you've gotta
stand up for yourself.

[DOOR SLAMS]

Wait, so he said
he liked your work

and then you quit?

Because you said
that I should quit

if I couldn't find something
to love about the job.

Great.

Now I'm probably gonna be fired

and we'll have to live with
interfering Mum forever - yay!

I didn't like how he was
telling me how to draw.

Like, I wouldn't tell him
how to be a CEO.

Well, did you tell him
your ideas?

No, because I didn't have
any ideas, Oly.

It was a stupid job.

I fully support your decision
to throw away 8 grand

for artistic integrity,
but you do sound a bit judgey.

I have to go to work.

[PHONE RINGS]

- [KNOCKS]
- SHAUNA: What?

I'm so, so sorry

about my mum hanging up on you.

It's actually her
that has no boundaries.

She didn't hang up on me.
I hung up on her.

I've done that myself
many times.

Oly, why aren't you working yet?

I mean, you're here at work
and yet...

['PRIVE' BY GENO CARRAPETTA]

Hmm!

SANTI: Look, man, I'm...

I'm really sorry that
I wasn't getting into it.

I just...

I'm still getting used to
working with clients

and I don't think I had
the right attitude of, um,

you know, like, collaboration.

And I feel like if I can...

I know you think
the whole furry thing's weird.

Yeah, look, I think it's weird.

But, man, everybody's weird, right?

My family think I'm weird
'cause I'm an artist

but I don't fit in the art scene
'cause I'm not weird enough.

Look, I know I wasn't hyped
about the work,

but I've had some ideas.

And if you don't like it,
it's fine.

But can I show you?

OK. So...

I don't think Jeffurry should be

part of the crowd,
stuck in the corner.

I think Jeffurry
should be the star.

Nobody puts Jeffurry
in a corner.

Like, he got rejected
from his family

but then accepted by
a community of people

who, like, love him
for who he is, you know?

So they get fur-secuted
by the 'normies'

for being different.

Sounds like you really bonded.

Yeah, we did.

He showed me the furries
that he follows

and it's actually
a really creative community.

That's, like, what
I really resonated with.

Like, they're not based on any
existing IPs - not like cosplay.

Is it a sex thing?

No. Well...

That's what everyone always
asks, and Jeffurry thinks

everyone should just
mind their own business.

I'm really happy that you found
something to love about it.

Yeah. It feels good, you know?

And also the money!

Yeah, and the money's
pretty good.

[OLY LAUGHS]

BOWIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, my dude, my dude,

yeah, that's all
very well and good.

Like, I'm gonna put you onto
something really, really cool.

This is opportunity-of-a-
lifetime kinda stuff right here.

If you're just not up to it,
then that's fine, dude.

You know, you can be a b*tch
all your life if you want

or you can make it count now,
know what I'm saying?

['105' BY SLOAN PETERSON]

SHAUNA: I'll f*cking do it
myself then, I suppose!

[DOOR SLAMS]

Ohh!

I...I haven't heard of that one.
Let me find a pen.

SHAUNA: I f*cking hate it here!
f*ck everyone!

♪ No, I don't need this

♪ I don't want to... ♪

[LAUGHS]

God!

The f*cking bathroom.

Ahhh!

[CACKLES]

Go!

♪ Lack of devotion

♪ Now. ♪

SHAUNA: OK, so I need you to do
whatever you need to do

to get these researchers
across the line, OK?

Charm them, schmooze them...
bake them a f*cking cake.

Ooh, I have a gluten-free black
sesame banana bread recipe.

It doesn't sound good,
but everyone loves it.

Sounds like sh*t.

- Um...
- MAN: Actually...

Uh... meeting adjourned.

MAN: What was all that about
this morning?

- Sorry, can you just calm down?
- You got a f*cking nerve!

SHAUNA: And I know you're
angry and you should be angry.

- After all I do for you!
- OK, I know. I'm sorry.

And you do
do a lot and I know that, so...

- MAN: Do you understand me?
- SHAUNA: Yes, I do. I get that.

- [MAN SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]
- Sorry, OK? I'm really sorry.

If I ever hear you use that
tone of voice with me again...

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [SOBS]

And then she thought
she'd hung up

and I heard her and Brett
have, like,

a full-on screaming fight.

Do you know him?

What's he like?

He's a d*ck.

Shauna can do better.

Do you like her?

[SCOFFS] No.

[MARCUS TYPES]

I'm gonna go and talk to her
and see if she's OK.

Don't do that.

Oly.

[TYPES RAPIDLY]

- Hey, Shauna.
- What?

OLY: Um...

[PHONE CHIMES]

I was just wondering
how you're going.

Is everything alright?

Oh, my God. Yeah.

I'm fine. I don't, um...

We're not friends, OK?

I know I came to your wedding.
Thanks for the invite.

Um, but I don't wanna sit around
and join your f*cking book club

or braid your hair or...

I'm not part of a book club.

- [PHONE BUZZES]
- I have no time to have fun.

I just wanna let you know
that I'm here.

- Mmm.
- I know that you're...

[CHORTLES]

OK.

I just wanna let...

Oh, you gotta be
f*cking kidding me.

[PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES]

Oh, my... f*ck!

[PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES]

f*ck! Ugh!

[GRUNTS]

Piece of sh*t!

[SIGHS]

Can you get me a new phone?

No.

- I'm not gonna do that.
- SHAUNA: OK.

I'm gonna go home.

SHAUNA: Yeah.

- And I'm not gonna come back.
- OK.

SONG: ♪ A silver stage

♪ Thunder rips against his body

♪ Finally escaped the cage

♪ My mama warned me
the days were long

♪ And then she told me... ♪

- [MOUTHS SILENTLY]
- [FEEDBACK WHINES]

Marcus, get me a new phone.

- [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
- ♪ Catch a one-way ticket home

♪ And know

♪ You won't escape it

♪ You won't escape him

♪ As far as you go

♪ The lies will tame you

♪ Won't tell

♪ For being enough. ♪

[BATS CHIRP]

SHAUNA: Surprise!

Here's Johnny!

- I'm kidding. It's me.
- Shauna!

Oh, no, is something happening?

Are they starting
on the trees now?

No, there's nothing going on
with the trees.

- What are you doing?
- Why are you even still here?

You know why I'm here.

Connection to land.

Oh... Angie.

[WHISPERS] God, you sound
like a f*ck.

Oh!

Shauna, what are you doing here?

Oh, yes. OK, so, um...

So...

...I recently got back
with my ex, right?

And it's, like, totally toxic.
[LAUGHS]

But...

...I'm kind of... not great
with, like, emotions.

And so, like...

...I've kinda been taking
some of those, like,

weird, bad-relationship vibes
to work.

Yeah, I noticed.

That's rude.

Um, I would love Oly
to come back, right?

And I want to, like...

...call and apologise and stuff.

Uh-huh.

And I'll be a better boss,
you know?

- I swear, like, I really will.
- Oh, yeah?

Do you reckon you could
put in a good word for me?

Not until you leave the guy.

Does it... does it change
if you know that he's got

that devil d*ck?

What?

Like, bad person, good d*ck,
you know? Good sex.

Oh. Yeah, right.

Oh, it's a shame that he's
the only person in the world

who's good at that.

I know I came into your tent,
but I'm not interested.

- Sorry?
- Are you hitting on me?

What? [LAUGHS] No!

You made this weird.

Alright, so I'm gonna go home

to my nice house

that isn't a f*cking tent

and break up with my beautiful,
beautiful boyfriend.

What's one more failed
relationship anyway, hey?

Well, a failed relationship is

being miserable
and staying together.

What are you, f*cking Oprah?
Ugh, God.

Alright, fine.
I will break up with him.

Probably have some
hot break-up sex.

And then I'll get my mate Kev
around to change the locks.

And you know what, actually?

Just by the way.

I actually really love
the environment.

And I do have
a connection to land.

But I can't change the whole
f*cking world at once.

- So...
- Yeah.

Goodnight.

Oh, zip me in!

[TUTS AND GROANS]

[SIGHS]

[WARM MUSIC]

- Oh, Bowie!
- Mum.

Can I come in?

Yes, come in.

What's going on?

Oh, you've got
your goat shoes on.

Uh, yeah, I, um...

I'm back.

Oh. Where have you been?

I think I got a bit lost.

I think that whole
cyber money thing

was sort of turning me
into somebody

that I didn't... really like.

So I gave all the money
to Landcare.

What?

All that money?

Oh, what a beautiful person
you are!

Oh, my God, I can't
believe I've raised

such amazing, generous,
caring kids.

- Mwah!
- Stop it.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, my little Bowie baby goat!

[GIGGLES] Mum!

Stop it, Mum.

ANGIE: I'm so proud of you!

Stop it!

And three, two, one.

Open.

[GASPS]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS] What?!

It's better than
I could have imagined!

It's so amazing.

JEFF: I can't believe it.
[LAUGHS]

Uh, there is...

...one other thing
that goes with it,

if you like it.

Yeah?

[CHUCKLES]

I thought your dad could have
his own secret fursona.

You guys want a photo?

- Yeah. Should we get one?
- Yeah, let's do it.

['WOLF' BY BONES]

And what about a howl?
Like in the mural.

[BOTH HOWL]

♪ I'm not afraid of
the big bad wolf

♪ 'Cause the big bad wolf's
just a beast

♪ You can clench your fists

♪ Make your nasty groove

♪ But the rhythm that you're
hittin' don't move us

♪ So we shall not move

♪ We do not boogie to the beat

♪ In a house of hate

♪ The only beat-beat-beat
I'll boogie to

♪ Is mine, mine,
mine, mine, mine

♪ I'm not afraid of
the big bad wolf

♪ 'Cause the big bad wolf's
just teeth

♪ I'm not afraid of
the big bad wolf

♪ 'Cause the big bad wolf's
just a beast

♪ 'Cause the big bad wolf's
just teeth

♪ I'm not afraid of
the big bad wolf

♪ Boogie to the beat
of your own drum

♪ Boogie to the beat of
your drum

♪ Boogie to the beat
of your own drum

♪ 'Cause if you bang-bang,
others will come

♪ Boogie to the beat of
your own drum

♪ Boogie to the beat of
your drum

♪ Boogie to the beat
of your own drum

♪ 'Cause if you bang-bang,
others will come. ♪