[thunder]
Soldering g*n.
g*n. Check.
Final check, Max.
All systems go, Josh.
Enter the program.
Entering program.
I'm switching on, Max.
Right, Josh.
[Switch clicks]
Ok, Max, hit "enter."
You got it, Josh.
[Meow]
[Meow]
I give up.
Would you turn that off?
It just needs a better
operating system, Josh.
It needs a better everything.
He's a piece of junk.
No, he isn't.
Let's go, guys.
We're late.
I've got a good feeling
about tonight, Josh.
I really do.
Max, you always
have a good feeling.
Not always.
Occasionally
I have a bad feeling,
but tonight I have
a good feeling.
Ok, ok, keep walking.
Come on, guys!
Slow down.
I got short legs, remember?
I just want to say
one thing to you
before we go.
No matter what happens tonight,
I think you guys
are the greatest.
Your dad would be
real proud of you.
Thanks, mom.
Ok, put your seat belt on.
You ready?
Good evening, and welcome
to the 15th annual
junior inventor
awards.
I'm proud to announce
to you today
our six semifinalists.
From right here in sherman,
the Carson brothers...
Josh and Max.
Hi, Josh!
Celia Barnes,
Matthew marsella,
Mei po wong,
and last,
our two-time winner...
Dwayne kotzwinkle.
That's my boy.
May I have the envelope, please?
Well.
This is unusual.
Our judges seem to be split
between Dwayne kotzwinkle...
And Josh and Max Carson.
Yes!
What?
In cases of a tie,
we ask for a demonstration,
a sort of play-off.
How about it, boys?
Dwayne's not gonna
win it this year.
Every year
his dad helps him.
Every year he wins.
That's my boy.
After you've had a hard,
long day on the court,
sometimes you're too tired
to pick up the ba*ls.
[Whooshing]
So with my back-saver here,
all you have to do
is aim the magic wand.
And presto...
Martini time.
Thank you, Dwayne.
Um, your turn, boys.
Yeah...
Move.
We call this the transporter.
It's a voice-activated
garbage-can mover.
We thought elderly people
could use it
to get their garbage
from their homes
to the street.
Emily!
Emily, stop!
It also has sonar sensors,
so it won't run anyone down.
I think we've got our winner...
Josh and Max Carson.
Yes!
Congratulations, Max.
Thanks.
Boy, $1,000.
What are you going to do
with all that money?
Well, Josh wants
to give half to mom.
She's sort of broke.
We'll spend the rest on Newman.
Newman?
Yeah. He's our robot.
Max!
Top secret, huh?
Sorry.
Josh is a little paranoid
till we get a patent.
Well, you never
can be too careful.
You!
No, no! Mom,
not before breakfast.
What is this?
I can't take half
your contest money.
Ok.
Sure, you can.
Great.
This is your money.
Pass the syrup, Max.
Right, Josh.
Ok,
I will borrow half of this,
but if you need any of it
for your robot...
Newman.
Ignore him.
His name is Newman
'cause he's going
to be a new man someday.
Newman?
I like that.
That's cute.
[Telephone rings]
When mom gives us our half,
we'll get Newman
the best money can buy.
Remember, $500 is not that much.
Guys, I'm showing
the house later.
[Humming]
Max.
Max.
I don't want to sell.
I like it here.
Sweetie, I like it, too.
We just can't afford it.
If we sold Newman,
we'd make some money.
Then we wouldn't
have to sell the house.
Save it, Max.
Give Newman a chance.
With better components,
he can really work.
I'm sure he can, sweetie.
It's just that inventing
takes such a long time.
Remember how long
it would take your dad
when he was building
a new computer?
You guys are just like him.
I can't get you out of the shop.
Keep eating.
Why do you keep
talking about him?
I don't want to hear
about him anymore.
It's been two years.
He was your father.
He didn't care about us.
That's not true.
He loved you.
Oh, yeah? Then how come
he k*lled himself?
Don't worry, mom.
He just needs more
time, that's all.
He'll get better.
Josh, wait up.
[Bell rings]
Good morning, class.
Most of you know
my assistant for the week,
Josh Carson.
Josh in on loan to us
from advanced programming.
He's going to help me
explain to you
how someday computers
may be able to think
all on their own.
Isn't that right, Josh?
Uh, yeah.
Josh.
Why don't you take a seat?
You just correct me
if I make a mistake.
Some experts predict
it will be 10-25 years
before computers
can take in information...
Ok.
And make decisions on their own.
What's your opinion, Josh?
What?
How long will it be
before computers can think?
Well, um, not too much longer.
I think I've almost got it.
What are you going to do
with all that money?
Josh thinks we should
give half to mom.
She's sort of broke.
We'll spend the rest on Newman.
Newman?
Yeah. He's our robot.
Max!
How old are these kids?
Oh, come on, Alice,
they're babies.
Mel, I know
there's a story here.
I can taste it.
Resistors... Servos.
Josh, look...
A 320 triax.
Max, we need to get
a lot of stuff.
We can't afford
to get it all here.
Sure!
We got 500 bucks.
So how was I supposed to know
a triax costs 250 bucks?
Yo, guys.
Steve, where the hell
have you been?
Hi, honey.
Where's Max?
He's with Steve.
Yo!
I'm ready for the freeway.
Ok, turn, turn, turn.
I got it.
I got it.
Ohh.
Let's do this again tomorrow.
Hey, three-point landing.
Here's your stuff.
Kid's a natural.
The natural is 10 years old.
Hey, Josh. Max told me
about the contest.
Congratulations.
Oh, thanks.
I invited Steve for dinner, ok?
Sure.
It was his idea.
Really.
Hi.
Hi.
When did you get back?
You miss me?
Did you finish your story?
Almost.
Did you miss me with a passion
that knows no bounds?
Almost.
So, when are we getting married?
Ahh...
Mmm, I don't know.
Ahem.
You know,
you may not
believe this,
but somewhere deep,
deep down inside,
he really likes me.
We don't need
that much more stuff,
do we?
I thought we wanted
an articulated
appendage,
linear actuator, gated servos...
Ok, ok.
We'll have to trade for them.
Well, there's only
one person who...
No. I'm not
going to him.
Forget it.
Why did I let you
talk me into this?
It'll be fine.
Trust me.
Well, well.
If it isn't the Carson brothers.
What can I do for you, boys?
We have some stuff
we want to trade.
Oh, you're
mass-producing
your garbage transporter, huh?
No.
Something new?
Yeah, it's a rob... ouch!
It's nothing.
Well, I don't think
we can let our
professional rivalry
stand in the way
of doing a little
business.
Dwayne, get up here!
Aw, dad.
What are they doing here?
Will you just shut up?
They're clients now.
Very nice.
Daddy's?
We need...
Five miniservos,
linear actuator 5148...
I think we can do some business.
Get to it, Dwayne.
We're never going there again.
Why not?
I like that iguana.
Yeah, right.
Hey, you think I'm going back?
Not on my life.
Hey!
What?
Be gentle.
Yeah, ok.
Max.
That's it.
Let's program him.
Right.
Ok.
Teach him how to wave.
Wave? Why does he need
to know how to wave?
It's friendly.
Well, let's see
if he'll move first.
Got to expect some bugs.
Dad always said,
"no bugs, no bytes."
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ok...
Here it goes.
All right!
We have movement.
Teach him how to wave.
Ok, I'll try.
Newman, stop!
It's not responding.
What's he doing?
I don't know.
Stop it!
Newman!
Get him! Quick!
Josh, get him to stop.
He'll break something.
Newman!
Oh, Newman!
Please!
Newman!
Stop! Come on!
Uh-oh. It's that reporter
from the contest.
My boss is very excited
about this story.
Oh, I think the boys
will love the idea.
Josh.
Max?
I don't know.
Yieaah!
Are you sure you're all right?
I'm fine. Really.
Mom, this very second
Richard Williams
is stuffing his face
with all the best candy.
He takes Halloween
very seriously.
Well, so did I.
I was always
the first one there.
So...
Did you finish your robot?
We don't have a robot.
What?
Sorry you came all this way
for nothing, miss woods.
Well, don't worry
about it, Josh.
Thank you, Mrs. Carson.
I'll see myself out.
See you, Max.
Bye.
What's going on?
Mom, she's a snooper.
She could be a spy
for a robotics company.
A spy?
Josh, she's a reporter.
Until we get
a patent for Newman,
he's off limits,
especially to her.
Josh.
Next time, be more polite.
Sorry, mom.
Tomorrow we put in
a security system.
Honey.
Try and have a good time, ok?
And give my love to Beth.
¶ Baby ¶
boo!
¶ You're scarin' me ¶
¶ you're my nightmare ¶
¶ my fantasy... ¶
I vant to suck your blood.
Not now, stupid.
¶ Baby ¶
¶ you're scarin' me ¶
¶ you're my nightmare... ¶
are you concentrating, Timmy?
Don't push down so hard.
It will work this time.
Josh.
No, wait.
Come on.
You've got to try this.
Let Josh have a turn.
I was contacting Napoleon.
Later, Timmy.
What is this?
A telephone to heaven.
Put your fingers on here,
and open your mind.
Is there anyone
you want to contact?
What?
No.
Is there anyone who wants
to contact Josh Carson?
You do.
Is there anyone
who wants to contact Josh?
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
"D."
"A."
"D."
Dad?
Very funny.
Wait, Josh!
I didn't do anything.
I promise.
[Meow]
[Meow]
Mom?
[Crash]
Max?
Hello?
[Meow]
Charlie.
[Purring]
[Meow]
[Sniffing]
Charlie, have you been smoking?
[Meow]
[Meow]
Are you out of your mind
breaking into their house?
Mel, I saw something.
A hand doesn't mean squat.
This hand was not human.
It belonged to a robot?
There was this flash of light.
Maybe the robot
was taking snapshots.
Mel, please.
I need this one.
Ok, but this time,
make sure
you get something
on tape, all right?
Josh...
I think somebody has a question.
I'm really sorry.
I didn't know about your dad.
I just thought your
parents were divorced
like everybody else's.
Uh... It's ok.
Josh, did anything
weird happen after
you left the party?
Why?
Well, 'cause
when I picked up
the pointer,
it was hot.
Something did happen, didn't it?
The house kind of felt...
Th-there was this smell...
Oh, forget it.
No, tell me.
What smell?
Pipe smoke.
My dad...
Hey, Carson. How you
doing, wimp?
Hey, Beth.
I got tickets...
Get lost, Dwayne.
I don't like to lose, Carson.
Don't you forget it.
Test-testing. Testing.
All right.
Now to find the real me.
[Low-pitched voice]
No, no. That's not it.
Let me see here...
[High-pitched voice]
No. That's not it, either.
Testing.
[Normal male voice]
All right.
Now we're talking.
Are those for one
of your inventions?
Yeah.
Could I see it?
Oh, I don't know.
Please. Your garbage
transporter is so cool.
Please?
Max, Lester's
on the phone, sweetie.
Ok.
Ok, let's go.
Wait.
I didn't want you
to trip the alarm.
Oh, really?
Oh, he's adorable.
He's ok.
I think it's wonderful.
I think you both are.
Well, that's it?
No show?
Uh, s-some
other time.
Please, Josh?
Ok.
But don't expect much.
Cool.
God, that's great.
What's this for?
Uh, it tells him
how hard to squeeze.
When he grabs something,
fibers rustle,
and a microphone
hears it underneath
the finger.
As his grip tightens,
the mic tells the hand
to stop squeezing.
At least that's what's
supposed to happen.
That's so brilliant.
Oh, well...
Well, can he pick this up?
No. That would take
major programming.
Please, just try it for me.
Then I'll go. I promise.
Oh, ok.
But it's not going to work.
See? I told you.
[Robot voice]
Here, Beth. After you
tighten my screws,
could you scratch my back?
I didn't do that.
Honestly.
Yeah, right.
I suppose he did.
What's she doing here?
Max.
Hi, Max.
Beth is borrowing a screwdriver.
Uh, keep it.
We've got plenty.
Thanks, Josh.
See ya.
How did you do it?
What?
Get him to talk.
Talk?
Wait a minute.
I know he picks up things.
Have you been drinking?
This is crazy.
He was doing all sorts
of stuff for Beth and me.
[Robot voice]
Hi, boys.
[Normal voice]
What do you think
of my robot voice?
Ok, who's doing this?
I know it's a different look,
but the voice?
Dad?
Dad?
Bingo.
Look at you two.
You've grown, and I've shrunk.
Is this amazing?
I can't believe
I made it back here.
How'd you get in there, dad?
Josh called me from
the Halloween party...
Super-long distance.
What?
I tried getting back,
but you know me
with directions.
Anyway, I'm here thanks to Beth.
She's cute.
A little pushy, but cute.
I was afraid I'd end up
in the TV.
You did, sort of.
We scrapped it for Newman.
Good. I bet you're
reading more.
That was you moving
the pointer around?
Well, it wasn't Napoleon,
although he did give me
some tips. He loves games.
You know Napoleon?
Yeah. Napoleon,
Einstein.
Your grandma Millie's up there.
She sends hugs and kisses.
What?
Max, I could use a hand in here.
Listen, we'll talk later.
Promise not to
tell your mom yet.
You know how she
hates surprises.
But, dad...
It's ok, Max.
Go help your mom.
I wish you could eat with us.
Me, too,
but my stomach's
not what it
used to be.
Come on.
Good night, guys.
Night, mom.
Good night.
Ok. Let's go.
Wait. She's not
even in bed yet.
Do you think
dad's cramped
inside Newman?
What?
He seems nicer.
Does he seem nicer
to you?
Maybe being dead
has made him nicer.
Will you stop for a second?
Ah, Sarah.
Max, get back to bed, young man.
Uh-oh. Ouch.
Remind me to get curb feelers.
Josh, look.
[Newman]
I think she saw me.
Let's get him out of here.
What is that?
What?
You know what.
Um... That?
Newman.
Newman?
Yeah.
I think you scared him.
I scared him?
So this is Newman.
Hello, Newman.
[Robot voice]
It's a pleasure to
see you, Mrs. Carson.
Really a pleasure.
You look stunning in that robe.
I admit, I thought
a robot was ambitious,
even for the two of you.
More cocoa,
Mrs. Carson?
Thank you.
You're so welcome.
You'll go loco for my cocoa.
He's incredible.
More cocoa, Josh?
I'm surprised
he's so sophisticated.
Us, too.
Marshmallows?
Quit showing off.
Cookies?
How did you do it?
Why not go to bed?
It's getting late.
Good idea.
I'm here to serve you.
What else can he do?
Mom, he's still experimental.
¶ I can also sing ¶
when will you know?
He may look finished,
but he really isn't.
He still needs testing.
Testing 1-2-3.
We got school tomorrow, huh?
You're right.
I got carried...
This is very exciting.
I agree.
He's so cute.
Thank you.
Newman, get the light.
Isn't anybody going to
leave a tip?
[Matthew's voice]
A robot's work
is never done.
Hey, pepe.
Shoo!
I'm the only one
watering around here.
Little squirt.
Ah, at least now
I have time to stop
and smell the roses.
Make that
stop and k*ll the roses.
You're a wonderful help.
[Robot voice]
Thank you.
I can't believe
how much you can do.
Your boys are very ingenious.
They certainly are.
Tsk. I wish Matt
could see them.
He was your husband?
Yeah.
May I ask what you
are thinking now?
Ahem.
I was thinking
I can't believe
we're talking like this.
Neither can I.
Did he do special
things for you?
Something good, maybe?
Yeah.
He gave a great foot massage.
Hmm.
[Doorbell chimes]
Intruders.
Hi. I'm back.
I got off
on the wrong foot
with your boys.
I'd love to try again.
If I could
talk to them
for a minute...
Miss woods, I don't
want to be rude,
but the boys really
aren't interested.
Josh is having
a hard time.
His father died,
we're moving...
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize...
[beeping]
That's my office.
Could I use your phone?
Just for a second.
There's... there's one
in the kitchen
if that would...
This will be fine.
Please, don't let me keep you.
Ok.
Hi, Mac, what's up?
Yeah, ok.
I'll be there in 15.
No, I'm out at the Carson house.
I think this is a dead one.
Guess you were right.
But then again, you never know.
Would you like some coffee?
I'll talk to you later.
I've got to run.
Some wife's thrown
her husband out of
the house... literally.
Thank you.
Yo, mama.
Over here.
Peekaboo.
Your robot is incredible.
I still
can't believe
it can talk.
Are you going to sell it?
No.
He's not ready yet.
Well, he sure seemed
ready to me.
Josh, you're a genius.
Your robot's going
to be on the cover
of people magazine.
[Blowing nose]
When jaeger gets here,
tell him exactly
what you told me.
[Robot voice]
Why don't you relax?
I will finish cleaning.
[Humming]
How did you know
where that bucket was?
Uh...
Max showed me.
Max?
Max hates to clean.
That's why he showed me.
You see, I'm
every kid's
dream come true.
Yeah. Especially my kids.
¶ Dit doo-doo-doo-doo ¶
this is my kind of music.
How about you?
¶ Angel, angel ¶
want to boogie, baby?
Let's get down
and get back
up again.
¶ Must have pretended ¶
¶ to capture my love ¶
you dance divinely.
You're not so bad yourself.
I don't know where
I got these moves,
but I'm not giving them back.
You've got my turbos churning.
Watch me burn rubber, baby.
Aah!
Excuse me...
Power surge.
I told you
I wasn't interested
in a child's robot.
But this is
Matthew Carson's
kids here.
If he was involved,
it could be worth
a fortune.
Matthew Carson's
been dead for two years.
Or maybe this is your subtle way
of asking for more money.
I couldn't do that.
Not to you.
This meeting is over.
See ya.
with an acu-shift
derailleur.
Yeah.
Hi, Max.
Hi.
Could be yours.
Is this a bribe?
Of course not.
I just wanted to show you
what it
would be like
to be famous.
You could afford
anything you wanted,
like this bike...
Or a house.
¶ I had a vision ¶
¶ where are you now? ¶
¶ when something's
different... ¶
mom?
Hi, honey.
Hey, big guy, how was school?
What is going on?
He's in disguise.
That reporter came back.
Oh, great.
That's ok.
Guess what we're
having for dinner.
Beef stew.
Newman suggested it.
I have no idea
how he knew it was
your favorite.
Robot intuition.
And after dinner?
Entertainment.
[Sarah]
Oh, look at you guys.
Oh, that feels wonderful.
The pleasure is all mine.
[Sarah giggles]
Charlie, there you are.
Was that your dad's
second or third computer?
Third.
Third.
Or second... Maybe.
Your husband was quite
good-looking for a human.
I'm sure he misses
you all very much.
[Josh]
Happy now?
[Matthew's voice]
What?
Mom's a total wreck
'cause of you.
Why don't you just
leave us alone?
I didn't like you
when you were alive,
and I don't like you now.
Josh, stop it!
You think I feel sorry for you?
You're the one
who k*lled yourself.
[Matthew's voice]
k*lled myself?
Is that what you thought?
I didn't k*ll
myself. It was
an accident.
Yeah, right.
Look, my car went off the cliff,
but I didn't do it on purpose.
I lost control
trying to avoid
a... Skunk.
Skunk?
Everybody thought
you were so depressed
before you...
I was upset, but
I had a good reason.
I never told you
this, but three days
before the accident,
someone stole the prototype
for the computer
I'd been working on.
I wasn't positive who did it,
but I had a pretty good idea.
I was going to have
it out with the guy
when that skunk ran
in front of me.
What guy?
Josh, there's
nothing we can
do about that now.
It's ancient history.
Sorry, dad.
Me, too, Max.
I'm sorry about a lot of things.
I'm sorry I wasn't here
for the two of you.
I'm sorry
I was such a lousy dad.
You weren't that bad.
Yes, I was, Max.
I never took the time
to be a dad.
I didn't realize how little
time I was going to have.
You bought me that
football helmet,
remember?
I still have it.
I didn't buy it, Max.
Your mom did...
Like everything else.
Well...
I'm still glad you
came back, dad.
Thanks, son.
I am, too.
So, I guess Al was
right, huh, Josh?
Who?
Al Einstein.
Genius. Bushy hair.
He didn't think
it was such a good
idea to come back.
But I just wanted to help.
You can, dad!
Help us fix Newman.
What?
With you inside,
we might be able
to tell what's
wrong with him.
Now, that is a great idea, Max.
He's never going to work,
even with your help.
That's not true.
Hey, he's almost ready.
Well, I guess if it
would make Max happy.
Yes!
All right!
[Sighs]
You must be proud
to have built a robot.
Yeah, I guess.
I didn't do it all by myself.
Josh helped, too.
How long did it take
to build him?
About seven months.
Wilkinson wants to run
it on the morning news
as a special.
Great.
It's a secret.
But he's kind of
like a computer
on wheels.
Great.
[Matthew]
Ok, what do you
want him to do first?
Uh, get him to talk on his own.
Good luck.
What if you cross
e-10 with s-17, bypassing
the double poles?
No, no. That won't
work. He'd stutter.
Let's see...
What if I reroute m-18
from the emitter leg
into the collector hole?
Now you're cooking.
[Matthew]
Finished?
I think so.
Ok, I'm going to shut up now.
Any corny jokes you hear
will be Newman's.
How about if you
don't use the keypad?
Use his voice
recognition instead.
He's going to do it.
Newman...
Can you hear me?
Yes.
I can hear you.
Yes. I can hear you.
Yes. I can he...
Thanks. I needed that.
[Matthew]
Hmm. No bugs, no bytes.
Ok... Check his
motor reflexes.
Let's see if he can, uh...
Pick up that glass of juice.
Newman...
Do you see the glass
on the table?
Yes.
I want you to reach for it.
Ok.
[Matthew]
Good...
Good.
Now pick it up.
Good.
Now bring it to me.
Not so good.
Maybe he's
left-handed.
Sorry.
[Max]
Don't feel bad,
Newman. It's ok.
[Josh]
I give up.
[Matthew]
Come on. Don't
give up, Josh.
Try it again.
He's not sophisticated enough.
Yes, he is.
I bet that last
adjustment you made
did the trick.
Come on...
Who among us got
an "a" on our first
science test, huh?
Newman...
Pick up the glass.
Now what, Josh?
[Matthew]
Psst. Over here.
Surprise.
Did you do that?
You talkin' to me?
Would you like a drink, Josh?
You did it, Josh.
Thanks to you.
No, thanks to you.
He's your invention.
I'm real proud of you, son.
Josh, I don't blame you
for being angry with me.
I'm trying to make it up to you.
I missed you so much.
Ahh... I'm here, Josh.
I'll always be with you.
More juice?
So, Max...
He did it.
Very funny.
Josh is right.
I did it, Max.
Oh, my God!
[Matthew]
Max, watch out
for the...
Whoa!
Box.
[Anchor]
And now for a change
of pace, some good news.
Here's Alice woods
with a special report.
Every so often, you stumble
upon something magical.
I found it here on maple drive.
A little handmade robot
that walks, talks,
even does the rumba.
You dance divinely.
You're not so bad yourself.
[Matthew]
Touchdown.
Take it easy.
Throw it to me now.
I got good hands,
considering they're aluminum.
[Matthew]
And 2...
And 3...
This is great.
I love it!
I'm going deep, dad.
Go for it.
Watch this, Max.
All set?
Here comes!
Uh-oh.
It's in here.
Excuse me.
Beth!
What is going on?
[Beth]
Newman was on TV.
Oh, my...
How'd he get...
Where are you?
I'm going to k*ll you!
[Sarah]
Josh, what's going on?
[Max]
Don't, Josh, please!
She promised me she
wouldn't show it
till we got a patent!
[Sarah]
Josh, stop it!
You ruined everything!
[Matthew]
Josh! Now, that's enough.
Calm down.
It wasn't Max' fault.
[Max]
I'm sorry, Josh.
We'll never
get a patent in time.
Somebody's going
to rip us off like
they did you.
No, they're not.
They know what Newman can do,
but they don't know
how he does it.
Matthew?
Why don't you guys take Beth
and go calm down the neighbors?
Go on. It's ok.
Hello, Sarah.
It is you.
Well, sort of.
I kept thinking
that I felt you,
but...
I thought if I told
the boys they'd think
I was losing my mind.
Oh, Sarah.
Josh, is Newman your dad?
Yeah.
So the pipe smoke was...
You brought him back here, Beth.
Yeah.
Thanks, Beth.
Wow!
Wow.
Well, I guess
I should go home
or something.
Oh, wait, wait.
Beth... Um...
Don't...
Don't worry, I'm not
going to tell anyone
he's your dad.
Besides, who'd believe me?
See you at school, Josh.
Bye, Max.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
[Honk honk]
Hey, guys!
I've got some
great news.
Sarah!
Steve.
Hi. Whoa.
What is that?
It's a robot.
Kids do that?
Incredible.
When did you get back?
About 20 minutes
ago. I've got
wonderful news.
[Robot voice]
Not so fast, buddy.
I like that.
That's good.
Come here.
Did you notice
I bought a new
sweater?
Come on. Sit down.
The magazine loved my story.
They gave me a $25,000 advance
to turn it into a book!
Do you believe that?
That's great.
Congratulations.
That's not all...
[Steve]
Go ahead,
open it.
No, Steve.
What do you mean,
no? Come here.
Put it on.
I can't.
I'm married.
I was married...
I am, uh... um...
Sarah...
You're not married.
Excuse me.
Are you all right?
What's going on around here?
It's very complicated.
I don't know that
I can explain it.
Try.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
I just need some time
to sort things out.
Fine.
I know what I said.
I had no idea this
thing was so advanced.
I want the plans.
We'll build our
own outer chassis.
Yes. But I want
more money.
You'll get what
I deem appropriate.
You forget, Walter,
I still have
Matthew Carson's prototype
with your fingerprints
all over it.
[Doorbell rings]
Hello.
I'm sorry I lied to you, Max.
I'm never watching
your channel again.
Please, just leave us alone.
I'm sorry.
Nice going, mom.
Please, I want to help you.
I've contacted
a robotics company.
They're very interested.
If you'd just let me help you.
[Matthew]
Maybe you should
talk to her.
Watch out, mom.
She, like, totally
mesmerizes you.
She just wants another story.
No. Mm-mmm.
I don't think so.
Give her another chance.
Mrs. Carson.
Hello.
I'd like to introduce you
to Mr. Henry kilbrandt,
president of zindath robotics.
And this is
Mr. Michael Abbot,
his supervising engineer.
The boys are right in here.
Newman.
My, my...
Gentlemen, my name is Henry.
And this is Mike.
We came all the way from Texas
just to see this
little buddy of yours.
My name is Newman.
Delightful, isn't it, Mike?
Hmph.
[Kilbrandt]
I hope it's ok
for Mike to examine him.
We've had quite
a few people try to
sell us phony robots.
[Josh]
Newman's no phony.
We'll see.
I'd like
a demonstration,
please.
Ok.
Would you like a glass
of juice, Mr. kilbrandt?
Well...
All right.
[Josh] I'll have
Newman serve you.
Just a moment.
Have him pick
out this pen
instead.
You can't expect a robot...
Excuse me,
Mr. kilbrandt,
but this robot
should be able to
do almost anything.
Maybe the only
thing it can pick up
is a glass.
I suppose you're right.
Josh, can he do it?
I don't think so.
That's
a very intricate
manipulation.
I see.
Well, that's too bad.
This isn't going
to work. Let's go.
Try it. Go on.
I don't want you to do it.
I won't.
I promise.
Excuse me?
Uh, he said we can do it.
Go on, Josh.
Go on, honey.
Yeah.
Newman...
I want you to
approach Mr. Abbot,
the man on the right.
Yes, Josh.
Ready for next command, Josh.
Now raise your arm
to Mr. Abbot's
pocket.
Which pocket, Josh?
His inside pocket...
With the pens inside.
Now extract the pen.
Yes, Josh.
It's amazing, isn't it, Mike?
Uh... Just a minute.
I meant this pen,
and I'm going to put it
in my back pocket.
Mike, please wait in the car.
[Robot voice]
Oh, Mike.
You forgot your pen.
Oops.
Ha ha ha ha.
This was a new shirt.
Not anymore.
He has a mind
of his own sometimes.
I'm sorry.
We're in business.
I'll draw up the papers,
and we'll
pick up the prototype
when they're signed.
Pick him up?
Oh, yes.
Our designers have to analyze
and break him down
and modify him.
He's a wonderful handmade robot,
but people want
high-tech devices.
Then you can't
have him.
[Max]
Right.
But, boys...
You can have the design,
but we keep the prototype.
Right.
But, boys, that's impossible.
Mrs. Carson, could I have
a word with you, please?
Uh...
It's not up to me.
Well, if you boys
ever change your mind,
give me a call.
I'll be in town until Monday.
Ladies.
Bye-bye.
Thank you.
I don't get it,
but he must mean
an awful lot
to you guys.
He does.
Good night, mom.
Good night, Max.
Good night, dad.
Good night, Max.
Boy, it sure feels good
to say that again.
Good night, Newman.
Good night, everyone.
Josh, I'm really touched
that you want to keep me,
but I think you
should've made a deal.
Good night, dad.
Hmm... Good night, Josh.
Coming?
Huh?
Oh, boy!
Curious.
You can say that again.
Curious.
Sarah?
Sarah,
I, uh...
I...
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!
Fascinating...
Bingo! Whoo!
Newman, take it easy.
Hot mama!
Newman, shut down.
Oh, yes, sir.
Sarah...
What are you doing?
Nothing.
[Sigh]
Good night, honey.
I'm sorry, Matt.
I was just being silly.
Do you think you could
stay in here with me
until I fall asleep?
It's been such a long time.
Ok, sweetheart.
Move it!
What?
Wake up.
[Crash]
[Walter]
Would you keep it quiet?
Twit!
Find the plans!
Ouch!
Will you shut up
and keep it quiet?
You idiot.
Dad!
Look!
All right!
[Walter]
Come on,
he ain't that heavy.
Danger!
Improper handling.
Dad, it talked!
Return me at once.
This is unauthorized
transportation.
See?
[Matthew]
If you return us now,
I'll get them to go easy
on you, Walter.
Who is that?
Your worst nightmare.
I knew you were the one
who stole my computer
for jaeger.
Well, I'll be doggone.
That's the voice
of Mr. Carson.
He's back from the grave!
What's going on, dad?
Don't worry about it, boy.
You just shut up.
Uh, look, I'd really...
I'd really like to stand around
and chew the fat all day,
but as you can see,
we're pretty busy back here,
so if it's all the same to you,
I'll just say
toodle-oo!
Oh, no, you won't!
Ooh!
Don't mess with us!
Dad, are you ok?
Let's get out of here, Newman.
Ok, boss.
Dad, I can't believe
he did that.
Adios, amigos!
[Dwayne]
Dad, just tell
me what to do!
Go get him, will you?
What are you doing?
Where did he go?
[Matthew] You and jaeger are
going to jail this time!
You're not going to rip off
my boys like you did me.
Matthew Carson?
What are you doing? Go!
Right.
[Dwayne]
Where is that little runt?
Get those scanners
working, Newman.
We've got to find
a way out of here.
Hmm...
It may be a good time
for a little light housework.
Get out of my way!
I'll just borrow this.
Yoo-hoo, cheeseball!
Huh?
Getting warmer.
Gotcha! We have lift-off!
Have a ride.
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
I can't watch.
Aah!
Aah!
[Thunk]
Ohh...
[Moaning]
[Walter]
You ok, boy?
Dad... Help me!
Your invention works
on tennis ba*ls.
How about
a more practical
application?
Got to run.
I'll just say toodle-oo.
I'll just say
toodle-oo, too.
Dad!
D... aah!
Now what, boss?
Hmm...
What are you doing?
This is no time to lay...
Whoa!
Ok, and...
Got it!
Elevator going up.
Gentlemen, start your engines.
Well, get it!
Uh-oh.
Get it!
Watch this, Newman...
Bombs away!
And they're off!
And it's a left hook
to the face.
Another left!
Way to go, boss!
And... hey!
Wait a minute!
Let go! Let go!
This is my wheel! No!
Only one driver at a time.
Damn!
[Sarah]
This is kidnapping.
You have got to find him!
Him? You said
this was some
kind of machine.
Well, it is.
But it's very important
that you find him.
Any ideas on who
might have taken him?
Are you all right?
Half the state knows about him.
It could've been anyone.
Ok, we'll, uh...
We'll look into it.
Thank you.
We're going to have
to find dad ourselves.
Dad?
I'll explain.
[Max] Let's comb
the neighborhood.
Maybe we don't have to.
Are you there,
Mr. Carson?
Please hear me, Mr. Carson.
Ahem.
This could be your next book.
Please.
Mr. Carson?
No?
Well, then, who is it?
"E"...
"M"...
"C"...
Emc2?
What?
E=mc squared.
E=mc squared!
Don't you see?
It's Einstein!
Einstein?
Einstein.
Dr. Einstein...
Do you know where my father is?
Testing, testing.
Uh, Mr. Carson,
are you in there, sir?
Stop playing games, Walter.
I want the designs in
the patent office today.
And get rid of this stuff.
Where are the police?
I knew they didn't believe me.
Josh, they'll be here.
Josh?
Josh!
Josh!
Oh, no, you don't!
[Max]
Aw, mom,
he needs me!
[Steve]
Josh, wait!
And until the patent clears,
please do not contact me.
[Cans rattle]
Oh, no.
Dad?
Sorry, dad.
Oh, how touching.
[Laughing]
You!
[Dwayne]
H-hey! Hey!
Hey, get off me!
Hey...
Dad, help me!
[Josh]
You!
Hey!
I wouldn't do that
if I were you.
I'll be right back.
Don't you kids move.
Mom, look!
He's getting away!
You got this wrong.
I was just trying
to break it up.
I swear.
Yes, mom!
[Siren]
[Meow]
It looks as good as new.
Maybe. We'll see.
Dad?
Matt...
Are you in there?
I hear you,
Mrs. Carson.
Newman.
Hello, Max.
Hi, Newman.
Hi, Josh.
Are you alone?
Yes.
Hey, I've got an idea.
Why don't we rent a camper
for a few days, huh?
Get out in the outdoors...
Do some hiking,
do some backpacking.
What do you think?
[Matthew's voice]
Great. Ok.
See you then.
Bye-bye.
[Matthew] Hey!
Que pasa, dudes?
Dad!
Where were you?
Squeezed into a microchip.
Oh, Matt.
Hi, Sarah.
Hi.
Hi, Steve.
I'm Matthew Carson...
Well, I, uh, I used to be.
Nice to meet you.
Likewise, Steve.
Likewise, Steve.
Hi, Beth!
Hi.
Matt...
Sarah, I've got to go back.
I just... Wanted
to say goodbye.
I don't want you to go, dad.
You can't go now.
I have to, Max,
but everything's going
to be ok for all of you.
I promise.
You're going to have
a great life.
I love you, dad.
I love you, too, Josh.
I always will...
But you've got
to let me go back.
I belong up there now.
Help me get back.
What do you say, Josh?
We got to send him back.
Dr. Einstein...
If you're still out there,
please help take
Mr. Carson back.
"O"...
"K"...
Ok.
Thanks, Al.
I owe you one.
Take good care of them, Steve.
I will.
And, uh...
Oh, may I recommend
an occasional foot massage?
Hmm?
Ok.
Remember,
I'll always be with you...
In some form or other.
Bye, dad.
Bye.
So long, guys.
I'll be sure to give
grandma Millie your love.
We love you, Matt.
I love you, too.
Ok, Al...
Beam me up.
I'm coming, grandma!
That's it.
[Knock on door]
Boys, Mrs. Carson,
I've just been on the phone
with your dad.
He said to come right over.
He did?
[Kilbrandt]
Isn't he here?
No.
He just left.
Oh, shucks.
He told me you wanted
to reconsider my offer.
What?
Isn't that true?
[Beep beep beep]
Guess dad knows what's best.
Yep.
That's wonderful,
but where is he?
I don't know...
But I know he'll be back...
In some form or other.
Right, Newman?
You bet, Josh.
Captioning made possible by
lions gate entertainment
¶ love breaks the rules ¶
¶ it can lift you up ¶
¶ it can be so cruel ¶
¶ love can cross the lines ¶
¶ that people draw ¶
¶ love breaks the rules ¶
¶ ooh ooh ooh ¶
¶ if I had a second chance ¶
¶ would I make things
turn out right? ¶
¶ could I love you more ¶
¶ than I did
before this time? ¶
¶ if our paths
were crossed again ¶
¶ would our love be
stronger then? ¶
¶ could it mean much more ¶
¶ than it did
before this time? ¶
¶ well, life gets in the way ¶
¶ of the things you should say ¶
¶ and the time seems
to drive us apart ¶
¶ but today's a new day ¶
¶ if you're here to stay ¶
¶ then it could be
a brand-new start ¶
¶ they say ¶
¶ love breaks the rules ¶
¶ it can lift you up ¶
¶ it can be so cruel ¶
¶ love can cross the lines ¶
¶ that people draw ¶
¶ love breaks the rules ¶
¶ if we gave it one more try ¶
¶ then we'll never wonder why ¶
¶ 'cause a love like ours ¶
¶ should reach the stars
each time ¶
¶ oh, but life gets in the way ¶
¶ of the things you should say ¶
¶ and the times seem
to drive us apart ¶
¶ but today's a new day ¶
¶ if you'll let me stay ¶
¶ then we're off
to a brand-new start ¶
¶ they say ¶
¶ love breaks the rules ¶
¶ it can lift you up ¶
¶ it can be so cruel ¶
¶ love can cross the lines ¶
¶ that people draw... ¶
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And You Thought Your Parents Were Weird (1991)
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