Trading Mom (1994)

[bunniefuu]

Woman: Jeremy, you

haven't showered yet?

Elizabeth, hurry up.

I'm leaving in 10 minutes.

And, Jeremy,

your room is a mess.

- I want it cleaned by tonight.

- Jeremy: Yes, ma'am.

That goes for you too,

Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: Mom, have you seen

my red New York t-shirt?

Look in the laundry basket

in my bedroom.

Wake up, Harry.

No more warnings.

Wake up, lazybones. I have

to leave in 10 minutes, now.

Hurry up.

You know, Harry, you can't stay

up every night being scared

and then sleep in

every morning.

And please pick up this room.

I can't stand it any longer.

I mean it, Harry,

or no summer camp.

Mom, it's not here.

I've nothing to wear.

She never takes me shopping.

Love the do, Harry. Mom, will you

buy me a tent for my birthday?

I don't want cereal.

I want pancakes.

Harry, brush your hair. Talk

to me when I'm richer, Jeremy.

Oh, and, guys, we have to

do the garden this weekend.

- Mom, sign my report card yet?

- Mom, please, oh, please,

oh, please, will you

take me to the circus?

Where'd you put it, Jeremy?

I don't know, mom.

I gave it to you.

- Please?

- We'll see, Harry.

I hate cereal.

Ricky Turner's mom

always makes him pancakes and

eggs and bacon for breakfast.

Well, Ricky Turner's mother

doesn't have to work.

Now stop whining,

and start eating,

and, Harry, you promised you'd

clean the rotten eyeball's bowl.

Do it today, or let's

take him back to the pond.

Mom, I can't find

my red New York t-shirt.

Oh, and by the way, I'm going to

the mall after school with Erin.

- No, you're not.

- Oh, mom, please? Everyone does it.

Honey, you are

only 12 years old.

Get real, mom. I'm going

to be in eighth grade.

Oh, well, aren't you

just too cool for words?

Grow up. You're just

jealous 'cause I'm older.

- Blehh.

- Eww, gross, Jeremy.

Mom, I'm joining the

circus when I grow up.

- Harry!

- Mom: Aww, Harry.

Look what you've done.

Mom, don't tell me my shirt's

still in the dirty laundry.

What am I gonna wear?

Well, Elizabeth, you're

almost in the eighth grade.

You ought to be capable of

doing your own laundry.

Ah, I am already

15 minutes late.

Now, guys, I love you to bits,

but I'm sick and tired of this.

If I come home tonight and

this house is not clean,

nobody is going out this

weekend, and I mean it.

Elizabeth: Come on. We better go.

It's 20 after.

What's her problem?

Sometimes I think we have the

worst mother in the world.

Don't you wish we had

one of those mothers

who did everything for you?

♪ Ah, hickory-dickory-dickory

dickory dock ♪

♪ the mouse ran up the-up

the-up the, up the clock ♪

The clock struck 1:00,

and down he run, so ♪

♪ ah, hickory dickory

dickory dickory dock ♪

♪ I once knew a mouse

named bobo... ♪

♪ he was a cute mouse,

and this you all know ♪

♪ now bobo was the kind of mouse

who liked to play catch ♪

♪ so I'm-a bust

a funky rhyme of how ♪

- ♪ bobo got his fame, but ♪

- Yes!

♪ Ah, hickory-dickory-dickory

dickory dock ♪

- ♪ the mouse ran up the-up the-up the... ♪

- Hey, that's my cookie.

Was.

Was your cookie.

Got anything else good?

Hey, Martin, looks like your brother's

getting his butt kicked again.

Maybe next time, Turner...

hey, hey, hey!

What's going on here, boys?

He pushed me for no reason.

That's not true. He pushed

my brother down first.

Now you're the older boy here.

Violence is no way to solve anything.

Come on. Ricky, this

isn't your fault.

Look what I got

from my mom's closet.

Girl ♪2: All right,

let me have one.

Elizabeth Martin.

Hello. Mrs. Martin, please.

Mrs. Martin? Hi. This is Terrance

leeby, school principal.

Yes, I'm sorry to bother you,

but I'm afraid I need to make an

appointment for a home visit.

Yes, I know summer

vacation starts tomorrow,

but this is very important.

Men don't cry. I mean,

really, what would dad say?

You gotta be strong,

Harry, take charge.

What am I supposed to do if

a bigger kid picks on me?

Well, whatever it takes.

Just don't be a wimp.

Look, if you have to,

punch him in the nose.

Harry, ignore Mr. Macho here.

We've got much bigger

problems than that.

Jeremy: Yeah, like

mom's gonna k*ll us.

Harry: Maybe Ms. Cavour

can do some flower magic

and make leeby go up in smoke.

Elizabeth: You're such a kid.

Mrs. Cavour doesn't

do real magic.

She just talks to her flowers.

Harry: But her flowers grow

better than anybody else's.

Jeremy: Yeah, which means she's

got a lot more rose bugs

for us to catch and earn money.

- Jeremy: There she is over there.

- Harry: I see her.

- Jeremy: Mrs. Cavour.

- Harry: Come on.

Hello, Mrs. Cavour. Were you

putting a spell on the rose bugs?

Hello, children.

No, I couldn't do that.

That would be

like spraying them.

There's no joy

in an unequal battle.

I bet you have come

for your wages, haven't you?

Yeah, well, summer

vacation starts tomorrow,

and we could sure use it.

Especially since we're gonna be

in the doghouse with our mother.

Well, if you're interested in more

work, you can see I need the help.

Can't you just do some magic

to make the bugs disappear?

- Harry, stop it.

- Why? I think it'd be really cool.

Just kind of zap them,

and presto, they're history.

Jeremy: No, I'll tell you

what'd be really cool.

If we just kind of zap mom,

and presto, she's history.

Elizabeth: Yeah, I

could get into that.

Get rid of mom before

she grounds us.

For real, Ms. Cavour, is

there any kind of spell

that can make bugs or anything,

even people disappear?

Well, the ancients believed that

the stars were our memories

and one removed an enemy by erasing

all memory of that person,

all belongings, all reminders.

Wait a minute. So we could

just kind of forget

everything about mom, including

her nagging and cleaning up?

Precisely.

Wow. Wouldn't that be cool?

Yeah, and imagine if

we even got a perfect mom

who never, ever punished us.

Jeremy: The ancients say anything

about how to make it work?

Elizabeth: Sure, dork-head.

"Abracadabra."

No, erasing memory

is a very dangerous game.

It's not one I would

play with, my dears.

That's easy for you to say. You

don't live with our mother.

Well, I believe

the ancients used to say,

"abit luna, abit Stella."

Roughly translated, that means,

"moon gone, stars gone,"

and then they'd say

whatever they wanted gone.

For example,

in your case, you'd say,

"abit matera," "mother gone."

And if it worked... and that's

assuming a great deal...

your mother would be gone,

and then you could go to the mommy

market and pick out a new mother.

You could go where?

The mommy market.

Jeremy, don't get any ideas.

She's pulling our leg.

Come on, we better get home

and prepare for battle.

- Elizabeth: See you, Ms. Cavour.

- Harry: Bye bye, Mrs. Cavour.

Harry: Do you think mom's

gonna take away TV?

Jeremy: She's gonna nail us.

Yeah, I don't feel like

facing her right now.

Jeremy: What a pain.

Mom: Who do you think you are?

You can't just go around

doing whatever you want.

And, Elizabeth,

cigarettes, really.

Well, that's it.

You're all grounded,

period, understand?

There's no camp, no allowance,

no TV, no nothing.

Now up to your room

right now, this instant.

- I am furious.

- But, mom...

don't "but, mom" me. Things are gonna

change around here permanently.

Now march.

Harry, I thought I told you

to keep your stuff

in your room.

I'm going to camp.

I don't care what she says.

Camp I can do without,

but being around her

for the whole summer,

forget it.

I'm out of here.

Yeah. No wonder dad left her.

Wish we didn't have

to be stuck with her.

- Hey. Hey, that's it.

- What?

Maybe we could try to make her

disappear, like Mrs. Cavour said.

- Please.

- No, really. Come on.

Everyone sit in a circle.

We gotta make it look SWAT.

But then she'll be gone.

Duh, but then we get

to go to that mommy market

and pick out a new mother,

a perfect mother.

Harry...

A mother that makes

pancakes every morning.

- Wow!

- You guys are brain-damaged.

Could you stop being

such a drip, Elizabeth?

You want to watch TV, see

your friends, go to the mall?

Yeah, if it works, we'll get

to do anything we want.

And when it doesn't work,

Mr. Magic?

Ooh, then I'll tell all your cool

friends you look like a jerk.

What do you care? If it doesn't

work, it doesn't work. Big deal.

Oh, Elizabeth,

stop being such a yuppie.

A what?

Jeremy: Come on.

Everybody hold hands.

Okay, how'd it go?

We gotta all say it together.

Harry: Uh, abit something...

oh, yeah. Abit luna,

abit Stella, abit matera.

Okay, everybody together.

Abit luna,

abit Stella,

abit matera.

Mom: Okay, kids, five

minutes to bedtime.

I don't want to have to

come up there.

So much for that bright idea.

Any more hocus-pocus

you guys want to whip up?

Looks like there's

a storm coming.

We better get to bed

before mom grounds us

for the century.

Harry: What... what's happening?

I... I feel confused.

Elizabeth: It's all empty.

What used to be in here?

I don't know. I can't remember.

What's going on?

Whose room is this?

The magic. We did the magic.

Elizabeth: Right, but

can you remember her?

Well, sure.

I mean, she, um...

We wanted to get rid of her.

Get rid of who?

What does she look like?

How did she talk?

I... I don't know.

I don't remember.

Do you guys?

Are you guys scared?

No.

Jeremy: No, we're not scared.

I mean, this is what we wanted.

We erased her. We're free.

We can do whatever we want.

We can get a new mother, right?

Right. A perfect mother.

Harry: Yippee!

♪ Whoa, I feel good ♪

- Pancakes. Oops.

- ♪ I knew that I would now ♪

Elizabeth: You're getting

this all over the floor.

♪ I feel good ♪

♪ I knew that I would now ♪

- Eggs. That's good.

- ♪ So good ♪

♪ so good, I got you ♪

♪ wow, I feel nice ♪

♪ like sugar and spice ♪

♪ I feel nice ♪

♪ like sugar and spice ♪

♪ So nice, so nice ♪

♪ I got you ♪

Yuck.

♪ When I hold you in my arms ♪

♪ I know that

I can do no wrong ♪

♪ and when I hold you

in my arms ♪

♪ my love

won't do you no harm ♪

♪ and I feel nice... ♪

Ohh!

I believe this is yours.

Is your mother home?

- No, she's not.

- Really?

We had an appointment.

Well, she had an emergency.

She had to leave very quickly.

I'm so sorry.

When do you expect her?

We don't. We got rid of her.

Tonight. We're

expecting her tonight.

We'll tell her you dropped by.

Okay. Thanks.

Have her call me tomorrow, will you?

It's important.

Elizabeth: Mrs. Cavour!

Mrs. Cavour, we need to

find the mommy market.

Yeah, we got rid of

our mother. She's gone.

Gone? I don't understand.

Where has your mother gone to?

We erased her like you

told us the ancients did,

and now we can't

remember her at all.

Oh, I see.

Yeah, and we can't cook very

well, and we need dinner.

Besides, we want a new

mother, not no mother.

Yeah, so where's the mommy market?

How do we get there?

Lily, germander, sops in wine,

sweetbrier, bonfire, columbine.

It's many years since I've

been to the mommy market.

I don't know if it's

still in operation,

but it used to be all the way

downtown in the old district

just beyond central square.

I can't imagine

that it's moved,

but it's only open for business

on Sundays from 3:00 to 5:00.

Mrs. Cavour:

Go down main street

till you come

to the open-air market.

Keep the clock tower

on your left,

and move west from it

along the market.

Halfway down the block

is a small cobblestone street.

Elizabeth: There's the

cobblestone street.

Mrs. Cavour: Take that right.

Continue on

until you come

to a small alley.

- Childers Lane, it was called.

- Jeremy: Look, it's there!

- Elizabeth: "Childers Lane."

- Follow that to its end,

and there you will find

the mommy market,

if you find it at all.

Thank you. Please

deposit your token.

Thank you.

Whoo!

Look... twin mothers!

Woman: I know everything

there is to know

about any...

Boy: Remember, you guys,

this is our last token.

You haven't tasted anything till

you taste my butter chip cookies.

Hi.

Boy: Can you bake a

chocolate cake too?

- Of course I can, honey.

- With thick frosting?

- Naturally, sweetie pie.

- Girl: Do you get mad

if the children pick the

frosting and leave the cake?

Woman: Why, sugar

bun, what you want

is a big plate

of chocolate fudge instead.

- Boy: Yeah.

- I want her.

Well, wait till

we've seen them all.

Girl ♪2: What kind of

cakes do you bake?

- Yeah.

- Youth: What can I do for you?

We'd like to get

one of these mothers.

Okay. What's your name?

Elizabeth, Jeremy

and Harry Martin.

I'm Edward. Welcome

to the mommy market,

established in 1742.

You mean the mommy market's

been here that long?

Well, not the way it is now.

It used to be called "parental

exchange, female division."

Is there a daddy market?

Can we go there too?

Edward: You can

go there instead,

but no one can go

to both at once.

It's always disastrous.

We better get a mother first.

We want someone

who can cook pancakes.

Well, we've got 'em all here.

However, before you choose

a mother, we have one rule

to which there's

absolutely no exception.

All families have three picks.

Woman: I mean, I'm the most

fun mom in this whole world.

We give each family

three of these tokens.

You have to deposit

one of these tokens

into that metal

turnstile over there

before security will let

you take a mother home.

We found that if children don't

find a suitable new mother

by the third try,

they never will.

So here are your tokens,

and good luck.

"Ad matrem per espera."

What does that mean?

365 gifts a year.

Yes.

Woman: And we'll put all

these gifts in the car,

and we'll take my cake.

Who wants to taste my cake?

Kids: Me! Me!

Woman: You like that, don't you?

Child: All of my favorite flavors.

Oh, chocolate.

Woman ♪2: Creativity, that's

the most important thing.

Aerialist: May I have

your attention, please?

Step, step right up!

Greatest show in the world!

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Hey, kids! Whoo!

Come on, Harry.

- Whoo! Whoo!

- No, I don't.

Puppet: No, I don't. Let me go.

♪ He does nothing at all ♪

♪ He's just

a rock-and-roll boy... ♪

Policewoman: Come on.

Now there's a mother

who can teach you

how to take care

of yourself, Harry.

Don't even think it.

She's taken.

Ah.

Woman: Yeah.

- Are you serious?

- She's terribly beautiful.

Oh, I don't believe this.

Do you really like children?

Of course I do, darling.

What do you do with them?

Oh, with a girl your age,

I would have such fun.

I would teach you how to dress

to your best advantage.

Ohh.

We would have to do

something about your hair.

You're getting much

too old for that hairdo.

I'm sure Hank my hairdresser

could do wonders for you.

- He could?

- Come on, Elizabeth.

- Let's go to the next one.

- Can you cook?

Of course not, darling.

But I never go anywhere

without my chef Pierre.

Ohh, mwah. A true artiste.

Pierre can do anything.

Elizabeth, no.

Wait a minute.

I like her the best so far.

Are you kidding? Look at her.

She looks like Cruella de vil.

I hate her.

She smokes cigarettes.

I want the cookie one.

Edward on p.A.: Five minutes to closing.

Five minutes to closing.

- Look, I'm the oldest.

- I'm the biggest.

Either we take her, or we wait till next week.

What'll it be, boys?

Woman: And they lived

happily ever after.

She does have a cook.

Bet you he can make

pancakes for breakfast.

She's obviously rich, Jeremy.

She could buy you anything.

- Storyteller: Did you like my stories?

- Kids: Yeah!

- Will you come home with us?

- Storyteller: Oh, I'd love to.

Okay.

Um, excuse me.

Would you like

to be our mother?

Oh, that would

be divine, darling.

Call me mama.

Ah, there, chivas.

Wow. You mean we

get to ride in this?

Ah, surely you did not

expect us to take the bus.

Harry: This is

the biggest car ever!

Say, give me five.

Oh, yeah. Cruising

down the Avenue.

Jeremy: Oh, we are so rich.

Oh, do you have

any grey poupon?

He's always wanted

to say that, yeah.

- Ha ha.

- Yeah. Whoo!

I suppose this whole space

might do as my closet.

I'll take that one over there.

It's crooked.

Thank you.

Now do show me the house,

darlings.

Ta-da!

Nobody smokes

in our room, mama.

Here. Put it out.

- He's kidding.

- Ohh.

A real little boy's room.

Mon dieu!

What is that terrible,

nasty-looking creature?

It's not real...

- What? Where?

- ...ls it?

- I think she means Michael.

- That's Michael, my iguana.

No! No no no no no.

Don't take him out.

I don't think mama

cares for Michael.

Madame: Pierre made

madame's favorite,

poached octopus.

Eww.

I'm planning

an intimate little party

to introduce you children...

To 90 of my closest friends.

But oh, there's so much

work to do.

Where shall we start? Mmm!

Harrington, eat. Eat.

Ahem!

Madame.

Ucch! Ohh.

Bye bye, little fishies.

- Jeremy: Here she comes.

- Harry: Finally.

- Come on!

- Hurry up, Elizabeth!

Come on, Elizabeth.

We gotta have a meeting.

What's up?

Hurry up.

We gotta have a meeting.

Hang on, guys.

I think that the treehouse

is, you know,

more for kids your age.

Elizabeth, don't try

to grow up right now.

This woman is

seriously bad news.

She flushed Harry's tadpoles

down the toilet.

I raised them from eggs.

Harry, I'm sure

she didn't know.

All of 'em, even the big fat

one, the rotten eyeball.

That's not all, Elizabeth.

Look what I found in the rag drawer.

Say the password.

- Rose and sword forever.

- Come on.

My favorite t-shirt.

Elizabeth!

Harrington! Jeremy!

We have an appointment.

Come down at once

from that horrible eyesore.

I'm going to have that

thing torn down next week.

Ugh. Disgusting.

Bonjour.

Watch it.

Pardonnez-moi, monsieur.

I know not.

Yeah, okay.

Is Mrs. Martin home?

Who? Oh, uh, the madame.

Um, she is out

with the children.

Would you like

to leave her a message?

Yeah, you give

the madame a message.

Tell her I'm coming by

tomorrow morning

and that she'd better be here.

Ooh la la. Heh heh heh.

Madame: Hank, it has to go.

She's much too old

for that hairdo.

Oh, I want the length off.

I want something

with sharp angles

and I don't want to discuss it.

Hank, don't even

think about it.

Ha ha ha ha. Relax, darling.

And harrington over there

just needs cleaning up.

Cavour: What am I going to do

about you morning glories?

What'll I do? What'll I do?

You just won't stop, will you?

Hello, Mrs. Cavour.

What's the matter?

I'm going to have to take strong

measures against these morning glories.

They... they want the whole

garden to themselves.

Tell me, children,

did you find the mommy market?

Children, what have

you done to yourselves?

We found it, all right.

We haven't done anything.

It's all mama.

- Who?

- Mama.

Elizabeth picked

a real winner of a mother.

She's a nightmare, and we're

all gonna die of lung cancer.

I said we could wait.

Man, I never want to go shopping

again as long as I live.

She's horrible. She wanted

to tear down our treehouse

we built by ourself.

She's really gross. She

wears a big white fur thing

and smokes cigarettes

all day long.

Oh.

I see the picture.

Well, only experience is going to

help you find the right mother.

But I can see the difficulty

you're having with this one.

My grandfather always

used to tell me...

Which means "watch out for

people who like fur coats."

It's clear your mama

doesn't like animals.

I cannot stay

in this house any longer

with that creature loose in it.

I must go back

to the mommy market

and find some other

little children

who don't keep monsters

in their bedrooms.

There's some cold octopus

in the refrigerator.

Oh, my darlings,

you will... mwah mwah...

easily find

another mother... mwah mwah...

at the market.

But for goodness' sakes,

warn her

that's she's coming to a house

with a monster loose in it!

Chivas, vite, vite.

Of course, madame.

- Chivas!

- Sorry, madame.

Oh, no. Perfect timing.

Wait a minute. Wait.

Just one minute. Wait.

Never mind.

I'll handle this.

Hello, Mr. Leeby.

I hope you didn't have another

appointment with our mother.

I haven't been able

to reach your mother.

She doesn't return my calls.

She hasn't shown up at work.

- Now where is she, kids?

- She's out.

- I want the truth.

- She's out.

We'll tell her you dropped by.

Well, who was that woman

in the limo?

That's our interior decorator.

Um, mom's redoing the house.

I don't know what's

going on around here,

but I do know you're trying

to cover something up.

Now you tell your mother if

she doesn't call me tomorrow,

I'm getting in touch

with social services.

Attention, shoppers,

if this is your last token,

don't blow it.

There are no more turns.

All children should have pets.

Success is

the most important goal.

Boy: What are you

making with those cans?

I'm not making anything.

They're there for

intellectual stimulation.

That is the greatest gift we

mothers can give our children.

- What is?

- Intellectual stimulation.

She looks like some teacher just

dying to bum out some children.

Hi.

Cleanliness is

next to godliness.

She looks like a real gloom.

Let's get out of here pronto.

I can't get too much

of the outdoors.

I love doing things with kids.

What other things

do you do with them?

Oh, all kinds of things,

baseball, touch football,

fishing, hiking, bird walks.

Do you like iguanas?

Love 'em. Fascinating species.

Do you play basketball?

You bet I do.

Here. Have a marshmallow.

- Thanks.

- Can I have one?

- I want one.

- Can I have one, please?

She's awesome. She would never

tear down the treehouse.

She's everything we

could want in a mother.

Now, Jeremy, we have to

use our heads about this.

We have to all want her.

What do you think of her?

Mmm. Good marshmallow.

Look, we gotta get somebody fast.

Leeby's gonna be back.

She likes iguanas, Elizabeth.

Face it, Elizabeth.

It's two to one.

Okay okay. We'll ask her.

- Is it time to go?

- Um, excuse me.

We'd like you to be our mother.

No, I want her.

Timeout! Let's count out

like good sports.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,

catch a tiger by the toe.

If he hollers, let him go.

I choose this one

right here.

Why don't you call me "mom"?

Can't have this nonsense

between me and the outdoors.

Ah, there.

Now I can settle in.

Well, ah, whose frilly pillow?

Get rid of it.

That's my college

field hockey team.

The year I was center forward,

we were undefeated.

Ah, taxidermy is my hobby.

I consider these

my masterpieces.

Meet Michael my iguana.

Oh, he's really neat, Harry.

We'll have to get you a mate for him.

Then you can breed them.

No, thanks, mom.

Michael's plenty.

Sometimes I even

forget to feed him.

We don't need

a whole lot of 'em.

Nonsense. If you get too many,

you can stuff some of 'em.

I'll teach you how.

All right,

watermelon seed fight.

Me and Harry against you guys.

Aah!

Ha ha!

Oh, look.

Look at the size

of that raccoon.

We can catch him and stuff him!

Elizabeth:

Wait, mom, don't hurt it!

- He has a family.

- Run, raccoon! Run!

Perfect. I can rig a special

trap to bag an animal that size.

Swahili natives taught it to me

when I was on safari

back in '82.

- Mom, he's just a helpless raccoon.

- Shh!

Excuse me. I was... whoa!

Beat it, buster,

before I call the police.

- Mrs. Martin?

- Maybe I didn't make myself clear!

Believe me, you haven't

heard the last of this.

Mom: Hit the deck, kids.

The sun's been up for hours.

Only dudes and softies

sleep late in the morning.

Now move it.

We are going camping today.

What smells so good?

My best griddlecakes.

Now up and at 'em.

When'd you come in here, Harry?

Last night. I was scared.

Wimp.

So heavy.

Elizabeth:

Here, Harry, let me help you.

Elizabeth, give Harry

back his sleeping bag.

Campers must learn to carry

their own equipment.

But he's tired

and he's only six.

Ah, we'll stop and rest then.

It's not much further anyway.

All right. It's just up there.

Here we are.

Well, let's get to work

and kick back.

Elizabeth, you and Jeremy

take the hatchet.

Cut some pine boughs

for our beds.

Harry, you start gathering

wood for the fire.

Ah, I brought us the biggest

steak you ever saw.

Um, mom, I gotta go.

- Go where?

- To the bathroom.

- So go.

- But where?

Where? Out there.

But I gotta go number two.

So go, Harry. Use leaves.

Ah, Elizabeth, Jeremy.

L-leaves?!

Mom, I can't sleep.

The mosquitoes keep biting me.

Get down under

your sleeping bag then.

Then I get all sweaty.

If you're going to be a camper,

you have to be a man, Harry.

Spread your ponchos over your

sleeping bags and go to sleep.

We'll be back as soon

as the weather changes.

Let's sing a rousing marching

song to give us some pep.

♪ tr*mp tr*mp tr*mp,

the boys are marching ♪

♪ Cheer up, comrades,

they will come ♪

♪ In the prison cell I sit ♪

♪ Thinking,

mother dear, of you ♪

♪ And our sweet and happy home

so far away ♪

♪ tr*mp tr*mp tr*mp,

the boys are marching ♪

- ♪ cheer up, comrades... ♪

- Whoa!

Harry! Wait, mom.

Harry needs help.

- ♪ They fill my eyes... ♪

- Mom!

- ♪ Though I try to cheer my comrades... ♪

- Mom!

Jeremy: I got more scratches yesterday

than I did in my whole life.

Thank god for bad weather.

Yeah, but for how long?

One sunny day, and we have

to go back out there.

- You guys up there?

- Yeah. Hi.

Wanna play a game of kickball?

- Okay.

- Cool.

- Well, girls get...

- Okay, I want...

kids, what's going on out here?

- We're playing kickball.

- Super.

Kickball's a favorite of mine.

Elizabeth'll be captain

of one team.

I'll be captain of the other.

We don't use captains.

We just play.

Well, then it's high time

you learned to do it right.

- My kickball.

- Harry,

you, you, you and you

on Elizabeth's team.

Jeremy, you're on mine. I'll take these

kids here and their little brother.

We let the kids

who are under five

be on both sides,

because they like

to be up to bat better

than in the field.

If they're old enough to play,

they're old enough

to obey the rules.

Oh, that little one there's

too young to play.

But he always plays.

It's his favorite thing.

Well, I'm sorry. This is

not a sport for a toddler.

Well, if he's not playing,

I'm not playing either then.

Come on, Luke. Let's go home.

We've gotta go.

All right now, let's play ball!

- Hey, I'm catcher.

- I'm third base.

- I'm second.

- Lily, you're up first.

Ah.

Strike one!

Strike two.

Mom, you're

throwing it too fast.

She can't kick it like that.

Strike three. Out.

Move over. Next man up.

I didn't get my turn yet.

- Yes you did.

- No I didn't.

I didn't get my turn. When?

You're not fair. That's not

how Elizabeth pitched.

If you're going to play,

you have to do it right.

Three strikes, and you're out.

But she always gets a home run.

Not unless she kicks

it good and hard.

You're ruining it all.

Come on, Lily.

Let's go over to Sally's house.

We can play

- with her brother.

- Yeah, let's go.

We can play it the right way.

- Yeah, me too.

- Let's go.

Huh.

Well, I can see you guys

need some serious training.

Let's start with push-ups.

Everyone drop and give me 20.

Drop!

One, two, three, four, five.

What did we do wrong?

We thought she was the

exact opposite of mama.

She seemed wonderful at first.

You made

a very natural mistake.

You thought because

she was interested

in different things than mama,

she'd be a different

kind of person.

Well, down at the roots,

they're the same.

The same?

What do you mean the same?

There was never anybody

more different.

Mama seemed to only care

about how you looked, right?

- Yes.

- Hey, wait a minute.

Think about it.

How did mom pick us?

- Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

- Yeah. So?

It really didn't make any

difference what kids she got.

Yeah, all she wanted

was the winner.

- Right.

- So we don't have to worry about hurting her feelings

when we tell her to go

back to the mommy market.

And I think you better

tell her right away.

You need to have a quiet day

by yourselves

before you try another one.

I'm scared to try again.

This is our last chance.

Yeah, what are we gonna do if

we don't pick the right one?

Ms. Cavour, do you think we're

ever gonna find a mother?

Well, I think

the mistake you make

is being fooled by all

the fancy trappings.

These are zinnias.

Good mothers are rather

like zinnias, dependable,

but they can surprise you.

They're really

quite extraordinary.

- Jeremy: Mom.

- Yeah.

I'm up here

setting a trap

for that raccoon we spotted.

Mom, come on down. We gotta

talk to you man to man.

Oh, good. What about?

We feel that we don't

suit each other,

and we think you should go

back to the mommy market.

Nonsense. We haven't had

a real camping trip yet.

We don't want one either.

Ah, don't chicken out

on me now.

We've hardly

gotten off the ground.

Mom, be a good sport and

play the rules of the game.

Yeah, don't be a poor sport.

You're right.

You're right.

I'd never want it said

that I'm a poor loser.

Well, I'll just

gather my things,

go inside and be on my way.

Ahh.

Cheerio.

I hate your picks.

You both pick really

gross, horrible mothers.

Do you guys ever try to

remember our real mother?

Why? Do you remember

something about her?

No.

I was just trying to.

All I remember is

that we wanted

to get rid of her.

You know, I'm getting scared.

This is our last pick

at the mommy market.

What if we pick

the wrong mother?

Oh, Elizabeth,

I just want a good mother.

I want one I like.

Don't worry. I'll

pick one you like...

Someone really extraordinary.

- Wow!

- No.

- I want her.

- Forget it.

We'll blimp out like

that other little girl.

- Ooh, chocolate.

- Come on.

Oh!

Do you teach kids to juggle?

Why, of course.

Children are soul of circus.

What if they don't

wanna be in the circus?

Uhh. Who would like

to join circus?

Me me me!

Ah! Mwah mwah mwah mwah!

I want her. She seems nice.

Please, I'm not even

discussing her.

Yeah, but I didn't get a pick!

You said we'd get one I'd like.

Now it's my turn,

and I want her.

This is our last shot. We gotta be

careful and pick someone really good.

Well, if you don't like

her, I want the cookie one.

Harry, stop being such a baby.

We gotta use our heads about this.

This is serious.

I am serious.

I'm not being a baby.

You're not fair.

Everyone I want,

you don't want.

I'm not picking anyone you want.

Look what you got us.

It's my turn

and I wanna pick too.

And, Elizabeth,

she's extraordinary.

She juggles.

This is our last token.

- Sure about this?

- Yes.

Please deposit your token.

Hah! Ohh! Ha!

Ah, since we're all

going to be part of troupe,

why don't you guys

call me my name, Natasha.

Okay, let's go. Hurry!

Ah, there they are.

That's our bus. Ah, mwah.

Been with us 20 years.

It's gone everywhere with us.

Us? Who's us?

It's too high.

Pretend you are flying.

Elizabeth.

Work with me.

Come over here.

Perfect.

Don't move.

Whatever you do, don't move.

This is ridiculous.

We've got a three-ring

circus in our backyard.

Elizabeth, we gotta

get rid of her.

Okay, we'll tell her

to go back. That's all.

But then we'll have

no mother at all.

Natasha: Ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls, may I have

your attention, please?

Tonight in our center ring...

Natasha, look at me!

No, big guy! No, don't do it!

My bike!

Natasha: Okay, little guy,

we've got the bed here.

Okay, now we must practice

the double somersault.

Okay, go.

- Oh! Very good.

- Natasha.

Ah, why you kids

not practicing?

We've got a show to do.

Natasha, look, we're sorry,

but we'd like you to leave.

And we want you to take

everybody else with you.

Ah, what is this?

We're about to go on tour.

Yeah, vell, ve don't

want to go on tour.

And we want you to get out.

Ah, don't be ridiculous.

- Right, big guy?

- That's right.

Right. Okay, little guy. Okay.

Man, we're stuck with her.

Natasha: Very, very good.

- don't bet on it.

- Yeah, very good.

Okay, go.

Very good.

More gas, Harry, the long one.

The long one.

Now remember, just go around

the block a couple of times.

- We know.

- We just want to get them

- out of the house.

- We know, Elizabeth. We know.

And be careful!

Wake up!

Someone's stealing the bus!

Someone's stealing the bus!

- Natasha, get up!

- The bus!

Someone's stealing the bus!

The bus, it's over there!

Okay, Harry, I'm gonna

try and pull over now.

Not so much gas.

Harry, start to brake.

I am.

Harry, I said brake.

Harry. Harry, hit the brakes!

- I am.

- Harry!

Hit the brakes, Harry!

Hit the brakes!

Stop kicking me.

Which one's the brakes?

Aah!

Are you okay?

Yeah, I think so.

Come on.

Come on!

Hey, where are you go?

- Let go of me, you big...

- Where are you going?

- Let go of me!

- Hey!

Harry, help!

- Yaah!

- Hey.

Way to go, Harry.

And I called you a wimp?

Natasha: Open up!

- Open up!

- Should we open it?

- We've come to get our stuff.

- We have to open it.

- You wrecked the bus.

- We didn't mean to.

We have a show to do.

We're leaving.

Look, I'll open it.

Elizabeth: We're sorry.

How could you?

Huh? How could you?

Jeremy:

Well, you wouldn't leave.

It was our bus.

Our beautiful, beautiful bus.

We are going back

to the mommy market

and looking for kids

who understand...

That the show must go on.

Always the show must go on.

Get our stuff.

See what I mean,

Dr. Richardson?

What are we gonna eat tomorrow?

Yeah, and who's gonna

take us grocery shopping?

And who's gonna tuck us in and

make sure we eat and everything?

We can't go back

to the mommy market,

so who is gonna

take care of us?

Harry, stop it. Just stop it.

They're back.

Children?

Children, open the door.

Children.

Children, open this door!

I know you're in there!

- I know you're in...

- This isn't the way.

We need to contact

the proper authorities

and get them into foster homes.

Foster homes?

It's all my fault.

I used up our last turn

on a stupid mother.

Now I have no mother at all,

and they won't let us back

at the mommy market.

You gotta help us.

Is there any way

we can go back to the mommy

market and try one more time?

What's the use?

I hate them all.

- I just wish we could find our own mother.

- Me too.

If only we could remember

something about her.

Mrs. Cavour, why can't we

remember anything about her?

Well, that's

a typical manifestation

- of the enchantment.

- The what?

The enchantment, sorcery.

The name doesn't matter.

It's what's taken

your mother away.

I don't understand.

Why can't we remember her?

Where'd she go?

I told you erasing memory

was a dangerous game.

Of course you don't remember.

Memory would break the spell.

That's the way

with enchantment.

But if you did break it

and got her back,

you'd remember quite clearly.

She isn't lost, you know.

She's only misplaced.

But how can we break it?

There must be some way.

Yeah, how can we get her back?

Yeah, where is she?

The only way you can break

the enchantment

is to pick your mother,

really and truly pick her.

Wait. Is she at

the mommy market?

How do we recognize her?

Will you make some flower magic

so we'll remember her?

Oh, you'll have

to make your own.

After all,

she's your own mother.

How do we do that?

We don't know any magic?

Well, a spell isn't essential,

but it can't hurt

to have a nice one.

Why don't you see what happens

if you say the names

of wildflowers?

I can't think of any.

Well, think of where

they grow in the woods

or in the swamps in the spring

or the fields in the summer.

- Daisies!

- Good.

Violets and buttercups.

Oh, I know. Lady-slippers,

- pink ones and yellow ones.

- Daisies.

Harry,

you already said daisies.

I know. I like daisies.

I want them in again.

Oh, devil's paintbrush

and skunk cabbage.

Take that back.

No, your mother

isn't perfect, you know.

Skunk cabbage is one of the first

flowers to bloom in the spring,

and I for one am always

very glad to see it.

Black-eyed Susan.

Wild roses and water lilies.

Forget-me-nots.

I think that will be

quite adequate,

and it certainly

sounds like you.

I'm sure it'll be a help

to you remembering your mother.

But don't get discouraged,

and remember,

ad matrem per espera.

That's on the tokens.

What does it mean?

It means it's hard work to

find out who your mother is.

He's not looking. Come on.

Harry, don't worry.

We'll get Michael back.

We have to get a token.

I don't wanna do it.

Harry, would you rather

have an iguana or a mother?

Oh, Jean-Pierre.

Oh no, Jean-Pierre.

Oh, Jean-Pierre,

you are an animal.

Okay, now! Come on!

You guys keep watch.

- What's going on?

- What's chasing the kids?

- sh**t.

- Hurry up. Come on.

They're coming this way!

They're coming!

Security's coming.

Michael! Where's Michael?

They're scaring Michael.

We gotta find Michael.

Harry, come on!

I know those kids. They

don't play by the rules.

- I'll handle this.

- That's mine!

- Moms are chasing the kids.

- The kids are pretty fast.

Stop them!

Those kids are thieves!

- Whoo! Look out below.

- Whoa!

Uhh!

Whoa.

Elizabeth, Jeremy, harrington,

you are finished.

This is the end

- of your uncouth little game.

- Hey! Help!

- I've got you now.

- Let him go.

- Help! Please!

- Let him go.

- Help!

- Elizabeth, catch.

Help!

You kids were advised

of the rules.

Stealing a token

doesn't make any difference.

You have no more turns.

Now go on, get out of here.

You broke the rules.

Understand?

You can never come back.

Yes, I know.

I've got the papers

from the social

services department.

I followed the kids

into this area.

They're somewhere around here.

Let's search the area,

and if we come up empty...

- Stay back.

- ...We'll head back to their house.

It's leeby with the police.

They're finding foster homes

for them right now.

I've got some pictures.

I'll show you.

Come on. If our mother's in

there, we've gotta find her.

- I don't care what happened.

- Elizabeth!

Where are they?

It's gone.

Elizabeth, it's gone.

Edward: You broke the rules.

Understand?

You can never come back.

What's gonna happen to us?

Are they gonna send us away?

Huh? What's gonna happen?

What are we gonna do,

Elizabeth?

Yeah, what are we gonna do?

We can't go on all alone.

You gotta do something, Elizabeth.

Please do something.

What am I supposed to do?

I don't know what to do. What

would you want me to do?

Stop asking me.

I'm not your mother.

I'm just a kid.

I don't know!

I'm sorry, Jeremy.

I'm feeling really scared,

Elizabeth.

I know. So am I.

No, I just want

a mother who knows me,

you know, who loves me.

I just want my own mother.

Me too.

We have to try to remember her.

We just have to remember her.

Daisies, daisies, daisies.

Why isn't it working,

Elizabeth?

Daisies.

We're never gonna remember her.

Know what?

Let's make up a memory together

about a trip

we took with our mother,

someplace special.

How can you make a memory about

someone you can't remember?

Well, we could just imagine

how we'd want it to be.

Okay, but make up

an exiting one.

Yeah, one that happened

yesterday to all of us.

Yesterday's kind of hard.

It just happened.

Elizabeth, we're pretending.

Yeah, we went to fox hill

pond and I caught a fish.

No, we didn't.

We went to the beach,

the real beach by the ocean.

Not me. I went to the woods,

where I'd never been before.

I found a secret waterfall.

I know. You know what we did?

The reason why

it was such an adventure

is because we couldn't decide

which one we wanted to do,

so our mother decided that

we should do everything.

- She did?

- Yes.

Mother woke us up really early,

and we got to the beach before

the sun had even come up.

There was no one there but us,

just our mother and us.

It was like being

on the edge of the land,

on the edge of the sea,

the edge of the day

all at once.

It was really cold

that morning,

so our mother bundled us up

and made a fire of driftwood.

Jeremy: And then we all

played with the waves,

racing them in to shore.

Harry: Yeah, and our feet

got really freezing,

but we didn't even notice

'cause we were

having so much fun.

Elizabeth: The only sounds

were us running and laughing

and the sea gulls squawking.

There's something magical

about us being alone out there.

Jeremy: I remember mom

told us a story she made up

about us all

running away to sea.

Elizabeth: And then she told us

that every time

we got to watch a sunrise,

god was telling us a secret.

Jeremy: Later in the day,

we followed a little brook,

and its clear brown pools

weren't even knee-deep.

Harry: Yeah, and our

sneakers got all wet

and made squishy noises

when we walked.

Elizabeth:

We discovered this great rock,

where we decided to have our picnic

that our mother had made us.

Jeremy: But the best was

that beneath the rock,

there was this

terrific little pool

that had a magnificent

waterfall

spilling over an old stone dam.

Me and mom swam out first

to check out how deep it was.

Harry: No fair.

- How come we didn't go?

- Elizabeth: We did, Harry.

Mom just wanted to make sure

it was safe for you.

Jeremy: It was so beautiful.

We felt like we were the

first people there in years.

Harry: And then we all went?

Yeah, we came back

to get you guys.

Elizabeth: You did a great

job swimming, Harry.

Harry:

Yeah, I'm sure our mother

was really proud of me since

she taught me how to swim.

Elizabeth: She sure was.

Then after lunch,

we laid down and slept

'cause we had woken up

so early.

Jeremy: I doubt I slept.

I just stayed

under the waterfall

watching the sun

come through the trees

while the rest of you slept.

Harry: It was in the evening,

when the pond

was really smooth,

except for the bugs

flying so low

they hit the water sometimes.

Jeremy:

We were all really quiet.

Elizabeth: Yeah, mommy told us

we'd scare the fish away

if we talked too much.

Harry:

I was just reeling my line in,

and suddenly

I couldn't believe it.

There's a humongous fish on it!

Come on, Harry! Bring it up!

Pull! Pull! Come on! Pull.

Reel, reel, reel.

- Hard as you can.

- Hard as you can. Come on.

Come on. You can do it.

- My gosh.

- It's huge.

Look at this, Harry.

You got one.

Okay, guys. Hold up the fish.

Smile.

Okay, got it.

Terrific.

Jeremy: Except it was a

sucker, so you threw it back.

Harry: I don't mind

if I threw it back,

'cause that means

it's still alive.

Elizabeth:

It was a real beauty,

looked like

it was made of silver.

Yay, Harry.

We had a terrific day,

an absolute perfect yesterday.

She's out there

somewhere very close.

I can feel it.

I want her back so much.

I only want our mother,

our very own mother.

Me too. Me too.

Go to sleep.

Wake up, lazybones.

Mommy! Mommy!

I have to leave in 10 minutes, honey.

Now hurry up.

You can't go around

doing whatever you want.

Elizabeth, since you're

almost in the eighth grade,

I'm sure you're capable

of doing your own laundry.

How did we get here?

Harry, guess what I dreamed.

Harry, Michael's back!

- Look!

- Michael!

Michael!

Elizabeth, I remember!

I remember everything!

Come on.

Look at that.

Wow. Where'd those come from?

"I hope you slept well,

children."

Mrs. Cavour's voice:

These are for your mother.

Love, Mrs. Cavour.

- Harry: Mommy, you're back!

- She's back.

Oh, what's going on?

Mommy, mommy, mommy.

I love you so much.

Oh, those flowers

are beautiful.

What do you want for breakfast?

Name it, anything.

We'll make it.

Just leave it to us, and we're gonna

clean up the whole house, mom.

Now wait a minute. I meant

what I said last night.

You are grounded,

and there's no TV.

Last night? That was weeks ago.

Oh, come on.

Wait a minute.

What day is it, mommy?

It's Saturday,

and I didn't forget

we have a visitor coming

this morning... Mr. Leeby,

- your school principal.

- What?

Huh? You mean

he's never shown up?

Okay, guys, what are you up to?

Oh, mom, I love you so much.

We're never gonna do

anything bad ever again.

Well, we'll try not to.

That's good.

You're still grounded.

Who cares?

We'll still do the garden

and clean up the house

and do mommy's breakfast.

Oh, whatever

came over you guys?

Mmm.

What are you smiling...

where did that come from?

It doesn't matter.

You wouldn't believe us.

- I'm just so glad you're here.

- Me, too.

We have the best mother

in the whole world.

- Yeah, our mother.

- Oh, guys. Ohh.

What am I gonna have

for breakfast?

Fresh-squeezed orange juice.

- Pancakes.

- Bacon and eggs.

- We're great at pancakes.

- We're great at pancakes.

So what am I gonna

tell Mr. Leeby?

Tell him that we're

the best kids in the world.

Tickle t*rture!

- Whoa!

- ♪ Whoa, I feel good ♪

Hey, help! Help me!

- Somebody help me!

- ♪ I knew that I would now... ♪

Help! Hey!

- ♪ I feel good... ♪

- Somebody! Help me!

- ♪ I knew that I would now... ♪

- Kids! Help! Somebody!

- ♪ So good... ♪

- Hello?

- ♪ So good, I got you... ♪

- Mrs. Martin, help!

- ♪ Wow... ♪

- It's 9:00! Help!

- ♪ I feel nice... ♪

- We've got an appointment!

♪ Like sugar and spice ♪

♪ I feel nice ♪

♪ like sugar and spice ♪

♪ so nice, so nice ♪

♪ I got you ♪

♪ so good ♪

♪ so good 'cause I got you ♪

♪ so good ♪

♪ so good 'cause I got you ♪

♪ hey ♪

Mr. Leeby: Hey! Help! Somebody!

Hello! Mrs. Martin, help!

It's 9:00! Help!

We've got an appointment!

Hello! Help!

Help!

Somebody help me!

Mrs. Martin, I'm here!

It's Mr. Leeby! Hello?

Aah!