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Bogus (1996)

Children/Family Movie Collection.
(Disney/Pixar/Illumination/Dreamworks/Animated/etc)

Moderators: Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters, Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters

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Children/Disney/Pixar Movie Collection.

Bogus (1996)

Post by bunniefuu »

[Applause]

Ah!

[Applause]

Bravo!

Yay!

[Cheering]

That was great!

Do the bird trick!

Magician: bird trick.

Announcer: let's hear it

For the amazing,

Colossal, stupendous

Antoine and babette!

Yeah, mr. Antoine!

Aww.

Aww.

How sweet!

Wait, now.

Wow!

Where did it go?

I'll be back

Between shows,

And I want you

Ready for bed.

No tv till you

Finish that report.

Tell mr. Antoine

The mouse won't eat.

You hear me? No tv.

Now give your mom

A big kiss.

And don't

Let that mouse

Out of the cage.

I won't.

Mrs. Partridge,

I'll be back

Between shows.

Mrs. Partridge: all right.

Drive careful.

Ok. Love you!

Tell mr. Antoine

He won't eat!

Ok. See ya!

Wouldn't want

To be ya!

Make sure you tell him!

Ok! I will!

Don't forget to!

Ok!

Mr. Antoine is

Teaching me how to make

Lightning disappear.

Mm-hmm.

Sooner the better.

I'm not a mouse person.

Come on. Let's get in here

And do some more tricks.

Attaboy.

I'm going to

Call albert.

I'll see you

For the next show.

Say hi to

Albert for me.

Aw, thanks.

[Ring]

[Ring]

Hello.

It's lorraine,

Mrs. Partridge.

How's my boy?

Oh, he's fine. Fine.

Ate all his

Vegetables tonight,

Even his broccoli.

Good. Good.

Well, I need to go

To the market, and I'll

Be home within the hour.

Albert: is it my mom?

Mrs. Partridge: hold on.

Here comes mr. Magician.

Mom, I did my

Hoover dam report.

I'm going to

Read it to you.

I'm coming home

To put you to bed.

You can read it to me then.

I'll just read you

The first part.

"45 Miles

From las vegas

Is the hoover dam.

It is one of

The highest dams of

The entire world."

Ooh!

That's my opener.

Oh, it's stupendous!

I'm hooked!

And the rest of it

When I get home.

And I want you to brush

Your teeth.

Hi, albert, honey!

It's ruthie.

Albert:

Hi, ruthie!

Mom.

Yeah?

I'm working on

Mr. Antoine's

Card move--

The rise-and-fall

Move he showed me.

I think I got it.

It's all in the wrist.

It's all in the wrist,

And so is brushing your teeth.

Now, I'll be home soon,

And look, albert,

I want you to be gentle

With mrs. Partridge, ok?

She's brittle.

Ok.

Miss rylander

Gave me an "a" on my

Report on ethiopia.

Great. Wonderful.

"Ethiopia is

In the northern

Part of africa.

"Children

In ethiopia

Are very hungry.

There was

A drought there."

That means no rain.

Good work, albert!

I love you.

I'll be home soon,

But I want you to brush

Your teeth and get into bed.

Ok. Ok.

Ok, promise me?

Promise.

Promise?

Promise.

Promise?

Ok. I love you.

Love you too, mom. Bye.

Mrs. Partridge,

I have something

To show you.

What--your room?

Yes!

It's a mess.

Albert: ok,

Mrs. Partridge,

I have an empty

Brown bag.

Uh-huh.

I will open

The brown paper bag

Like this.

Now give me

The ketchup bottle.

Careful you don't

Break it.

I won't.

Put the ketchup

Bottle in the bag.

Watch!

Uh-huh.

Say the magic

Words--sim-sola-bim.

Poof! It's gone!

Oh, come on, now,

Albert.

Nobody's going to

Believe that.

Don't like it?

Hee hee hee!

♪ Sing me a lullaby ♪

♪ Won't you wipe away

My pain? ♪

♪ Take me out ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Of the driving rain ♪

[Honk]

[Knocks]

[Knocks]

Hello. Is this

The franklin residence?

Yes.

Policeman: ma'am,

Can we please come inside

And talk to you?

Yeah.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Ma'am, I regret

To inform you

That mrs. Franklin has been

Involved in a very serious

Vehicle accident.

Mom!

Clergyman: "I am

The resurrection and the life.

"He that believeth in me,

Though he were dead,

"Yet shall he live.

"Whosoever liveth and believeth

In me shall never die

But have eternal life

And peace forever."

Amen.

Ok. Now.

Antoine, french accent:

It is a sad day here.

We are confused.

We do not understand.

je ne comprends pas.

Tell me, god,

Is life the illusion,

And is death the reality?

What door do you

Go through, lorraine,

And where will you

Appear again?

allez. Au revoir,

ma petite.

bon voyage.

[Cirque du soleil

Singing kalimando in french]

Oh.

"45 Miles from las vegas

Is the hoover dam.

It is one of the highest dams

In the entire--"

[Ruthie sobs]

I'm sorry, albert.

Keep reading, baby.

Keep going.

Albert:

Shouldn't I

Do this?

It's all right,

mon grand.

Keep reading.

Don't stop, albert.

It's so beautiful.

Yes.

But I'm making

Everybody sadder.

It's all right,

mon cheri. go on.

Go.

No. Everybody's

Too sad.

Mother

Wasn't sad.

My mother was

never sad!

[People shouting]

Babette: why can't

We keep him?

We could all--

Antoine: babette,

This is not a pet, you know.

Babette: but

He's so little,

And we love him.

Hey, ruthie,

You must know more

About the family.

What about the father?

Yes, ruthie. The father.

Father?

The father was

Just a fly-by-night.

She thought

He was magic.

Maybe he was, 'cause

He sure did disappear.

I don't even think

She got his last name.

Woman: grandparents?

Ruthie: she didn't

Have any family--

No parents,

No grandparents,

No brothers, no sisters.

She was raised

In a foster home

Back in newark,

New jersey.

If there's no family,

Where will albert go?

Why can't I just

Stay here?

Albert! Honey,

We thought you

Were fast asleep.

Mrs. Partridge:

Come on, honey.

Let's go back to bed.

Mr. Antoine said

he was my father.

Antoine:

c'est une facon

de parler.

It is

An expression.

He loves you

like a father.

oui. Je t'aime

beaucoup, albert.

Antoine: you know

You are my favorite.

We all love you,

Albert.

Antoine: we would like

To take you with us,

But we move around

So much.

We have no maison--

no home--

And a circus

Is not a home.

You were going to teach

Me to be a magician.

You said I could be

In the act one day.

I've been practicing.

I'm really good with

The a.b.c. Trick,

And I already know

The over-the-falls and

The 50-cent discovery.

Mrs. Partridge,

You saw me do it.

I fooled you, didn't i?

Yes.

You certainly

Fooled me.

And my fingers are getting

Stronger all the time,

And my wrist. Look!

See? See?

It's all in the wrist.

Lorraine's voice:

To whom it may concern:

In the event of my death,

Please contact my foster sister

Harriet franklin.

Even though our lives

Have gone separate ways

And it's been many years

Since we've spoken,

I've always thought

Of her as the godmother

Of my son albert,

Who I am leaving

In her care.

I believe she will always

Be there for albert...

Man and lorraine:

"As harriet and I were

Once there for one another.

Man: "she is most likely

Still in newark.

I know she'll want to

Do the right thing."

Signed,

Lorraine franklin.

The boy has a guardian.

It's his godmother--

Harriet franklin.

Any of you

Ever heard of her?

Janet, get me

Directory assistance

For newark, new jersey.

Let me ask harriet, ok?

Hold on. Hold on.

Harriet!

Can you hold on

One second?

What is it?

Mike belasco's claiming

We over-delivered

On the coasters.

Penny, did you remember

To verify the order?

Verbally and in writing,

Like you said.

Bob, can you

Hold on one second?

It's so busy here.

Mike, what's the problem?

No, no, no.

We didn't over-deliver.

You over-ordered.

What were you thinking,

Ordering pink coasters?

You got

A cigar manufacturers

Convention going on!

No. Hold on a second.

Bob, you still there?

I'll be right with you.

I tell you what.

I'm going to

Do you a big favor.

You send me back

The pink ones, I'll

Send you the brown ones,

You pay for shipping.

Ok? I'm going to

Put penny on. Penny!

What?

Get on with belasco.

We're finally

Getting rid of those

g*dd*mn brown coasters.

Bob! Sorry about that.

You know, when you're busy,

The world is on hold.

Now, as I was saying,

I want to get into

Bigger things, bob.

I want to get into sterilizers

And deep fryers...

[Telephone rings]

Harriet:

To cook things in.

I really feel...

Reliable hotel

And restaurant supply.

We're there for you.

Yes?

No. I found

A wonderful warehouse.

It's full of inventory.

All you have to do is

Come and see it with me.

Make the day. Any day.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You just let me know, ok?

Thanks. Bye-bye.

One moment, please.

Somebody from las vegas

On line 2?

Something about

Lorraine, your sister?

I didn't know

You had a sister.

Hello.

Attorney:

Hello. Miss franklin?

Yeah.

Miss franklin,

My name is clay thrasher.

I'm a lawyer at the hotel

Where lorraine franklin

Has been working.

Harriet, on speakerphone:

Uh-oh. What's wrong?

What, is she

In some kind of trouble?

I'm afraid it's

Worse than trouble,

Miss franklin.

Lorraine was

k*lled last week in

An automobile accident.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

What did you say?

Lorraine was

k*lled last week in

An automobile accident.

You are lorraine's

Foster sister,

Is that correct,

Miss franklin?

You're telling me

Lorraine is dead?

Miss franklin,

This is ruth clark.

I was lorraine's

Best friend.

We would have

Told you sooner,

Except...

We just found out

About you.

We're sorry to break

The news to you this way,

Miss franklin.

Oh, no. I...

I understand,

And thank you for calling.

No, no. Please

Don't hang up.

Miss franklin,

There's something more

We need to talk about.

What?

Ruthie: it's about

Albert--lorraine's

Little boy.

Lorraine had a little boy?

Now, what I have

Before me, miss franklin,

Are some documents naming

You the boy's guardian.

What?!

Oh. Oh!

No. No. No.

No. No. I...

Uh-uh. No.

You know, first you tell me

Lorraine is dead,

And now you tell me

She's got a kid,

And then you're going to

Spring on me

That I'm supposed

To be responsible for it?

He's not an ordinary

Boy, miss franklin.

Ruthie: he's really

A wonderful boy, harriet.

Antoine:

He's a magical boy.

Was that him?

Who was that?

I'm antoine.

Harriet: who?

Albert's

Good friend.

Ruthie: the problem

Is that right now,

He is a homeless boy.

Harriet: well,

What about his father?

We can't

Find the father.

There is no father.

What do you mean,

There is no father?

The boy wasn't immaculately

Conceived, was he?

Listen, you people,

Let me explain something to you.

I don't have a motherly bone

In my body, ok?

I'm not a mother.

I don't want to be a mother.

Now, I also assume

That this little boy

Is white, is he not?

Have you got

A problem with that?

Yeah--just a small one.

'Cause I'm black,

Too, you know,

And I think that

Your sister would be

Damned upset with you

If she thought that you

Wouldn't take albert

Because you think that

Black gets in the way!

Harriet:

That's not what I said.

It didn't bother his mother,

And you grew up

With white folks,

Didn't you?

What has my growing up

With white folks

Have to do with me raising

Some little white boy?

It's who you are.

You are the closest thing

That he's got to blood!

You understand

The alternative

Would be to place him

In the state system,

Miss franklin?

No--

God!

What happens now?

Bye.

Bye, albert.

Antoine:

bon voyage.

Albert!

Don't you even

Want to say good-bye

To your friends?

No.

Bye-bye,

Albert!

Albert, bye-bye.

au revoir!

Loudspeaker: good morning,

Ladies and gentlemen,

And welcome aboard

American airlines flight 362

With nonstop service

To newark international airport.

Our flying time to newark

Will be 4 hours and 30 minutes,

And we'll be cruising

At an altitude of 33,000 feet.

Now we invite you

To sit back and relax,

Enjoy your flight to newark,

And thanks again

For choosing american.

So, hi. You been

In an airplane before?

Yes, ma'am.

You traveled

All alone before?

No.

My name is florence.

What's yours?

Albert.

Are you named

After anybody?

Frank sinatra.

Well, aren't you special!

Do your mom and dad

Listen to his records

All the time?

My mom was his friend.

Oh, that must

Have been nice.

What about your daddy?

He's...

Dead.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Well, I have some crayons

Here and a game book...

And I'll

Bring you a snack,

And after that we'll do

Lunch and a movie.

Ok, albert?

merci.

Huh?

I said, merci.

[Softly]

je vous en prie.

What, son?

Nothing.

tu parles francais?

[Whispering]

Mr. Antoine taught me

je vous en prie

and bonjour

And comment ça va

And merde!

You know those?

You talking

To me, son?

Uh-uh.

I wonder, could

You make it a little

Bigger, my nose?

Sure.

Bigger. Bigger.

More bigger.

Don't be afraid.

Is very big nose.

What do you think?

Maybe more hair,

Huh?

Sure.

More. Oh, yes,

More, more, more!

Good, good, good!

Big eyes.

bigger eyes, eh?

Good!

Good.

merci beaucoup.

[Whispering]

Do you want glasses?

It's ok.

I have contacts.

[Giggles]

What is it, son?

Nothing.

Ooh, she's fish-face.

Hello, fish-face, eh?

I know.

Oh, she scares me.

Come on, let's go.

Excuse me.

Mm-hmm.

[Muffled yelling]

Man in drawing:

Hello.

Hello.

Could I come out,

Please?

Sure.

Ow!

Wow!

You're so big.

I am big.

I am stupendous,

Colossal, amazing,

Fantastic, magnificent,

Exceptional.

I am...

Bogus.

I'm albert.

Albert.

Hmm, albert.

Hmm.

Why are you crying?

I miss my mom.

Mom. Oh, mom.

Is very important

Thing to have mom.

Now you have a godmom.

Very important thing

To have a godmom.

I don't want a godmom.

Why not? Maybe you will

Like what you see, hmm?

Maybe she...

She will be amazing,

Maybe...spectacular.

Maybe stupendous!

Colossal?

Maybe magnificent!

[Shouting]

Maybe unbelievable!

Bravo! Yes!

Unbelievable!

[Shouting together]

Maybe she's the world's

Greatest godmom!

What did he say?

What's going on?

[Honking]

[Tires screech]

Harriet: excuse me.

Excuse me.

The flight from

Las vegas--is it in?

Landed 20 minutes ago.

I'm looking

For a little boy.

Wait, wait. Are you

Miss harriet franklin?

Yes.

The boy's waiting

Down at traveler's aid,

Down level one.

Take the escalator,

Turn right.

Ok. Escalator,

Turn right.

Woman: you wouldn't be

Miss franklin?

Actually,

I would be.

Woman: oh.

I'm sorry I'm late.

The jackson street

Bridge was out,

And I couldn't

Get across.

Yes, I'm sure

That's true.

Well, we have to give

Ourselves a little

More time these days,

Especially when picking up

Such precious cargo.

I'll need to see some

Identification, please.

I'm sorry.

Passport, driver's lic--

Thank you.

Boy, do you look

Like your mother.

Woman: i.d. Is fine.

You have to sign

Right there.

Great.

Are you

A card player?

Oh, no.

He's a magician.

He can make

The ace of spades

Turn into

The queen of hearts.

Looks like

He's on sale.

Can I take

The tag off?

Usually the tag's

Taken off at the gate

When they're picked up.

I said I was sorry.

Mm-hmm.

Ok. Let me get

Your tag off here.

Sorry.

There you go.

Woman:

Thank you.

So get your backpack

And...

We'll go.

What's

In the parcel?

My pillow.

Oh.

Ok. Let's go.

Woman:

Good luck,

Albert.

That's it. No more

Shortcuts for me.

I know better.

You know, there's no

Shortcuts in life.

I'm sure

You know that.

I know that.

It's the kind of thing

Where you just have to

Concentrate.

Because I don't

Know how I got here.

I'm not sure

I am here.

You know what?

I don't think

I'm here.

As a matter of fact,

I think I'm not

Really here.

As a matter of fact,

I am an alien

Space monster,

And I'm going to

Eat you up!

[Monster-like roar]

Aah!

What's the matter?

My coloring book.

What about it?

I left it on the airplane.

We'll get you

Another one.

I need that one!

Hey, I'm going to

Get towed away!

Loudspeaker:

Flight 106 from st. Louis

Now arriving at gate 61.

[Piglike squeal]

Never mind.

It's ok.

We can go now.

Oh, well,

I'm relieved,

Because we weren't

Going back to get

A coloring book.

It's all right.

She's nervous.

She's a space monster.

She has

Funny hair, huh?

I know.

You know

What?

I don't know.

Oh.

Hey! What are

You doing?

Don't write

That ticket, man.

I had to pick up

The little boy.

He was traveling

By himself

In traveler's aid.

Don't you have kids?

No.

Well, listen.

It wasn't that long.

I wasn't here

But 3 minutes.



I was not here



I would know if

I was here 15 minutes.

Get in the car.

If I was here



I would not be

Fooling around with you.

What are you doing?

Get in!

I wasn't here 15 minutes.

I was here 3 minutes.

Why are you writing a ticket?

I'm not paying it,

I'm just telling you now.

Don't pay it, lady.

Pay your lawyer.

Do you believe

That guy had the nerve

To give me a ticket?

I mean, there's

Drug addicts out there,

There's crazy people

Starting fires,

Running around naked,

And what

Is this guy doing--

The police department,

Our fabulous

Police department?

Giving me a ticket.

I work every day.

I pay rent.

I could have

Been picking up

A loved one

Or something.

Oh, loved one.

That sounds good.

Well, can't cry

About it.

Cannot

Cry about it.

So...you play

Cards, huh?

Bogus: he does magic.

I do magic.

You do magic,

Huh? Good.

Bogus: yes, yes. You do

The french pass.

I know.

You know what?

Nothing.

Why do you keep

Saying "I know"?

Tell her

You are thinking.

I was thinking.

Oh, good. That's

Something we can

Do together--think.

Think.

Think.

[Rap music playing]

Harriet: this is it.



That's where we live.

Can you

Remember that?



Yeah.

Now, listen, uh--



Yeah.

I've always

Lived alone,

So we're going

To have to have

Some rules, ok?

You ok with rules?

Sometimes.

Do you have to go

To the bathroom?

Because if you do,

It's down the hall.

Now, I've only got one,

So we're going to

Have to figure out

What we want to do.

I don't want you to leave

Toothpaste in the sink

Because it's really nasty.

I'll try not to do

The same thing.

The other thing is

I would really

Appreciate it

If you would put down

The toilet seat because--

Well, it's just because

It's courteous.

Oh. I gave the mets

A pretty good deal

On some coffee mugs,

So they gave me

A baseball.

I have a baseball

Signed by liza minelli.

Why would liza minelli

Sign a baseball?

The sahara hotel

Was playing

The hilton hotel

On sunday.

My mom took me,

And mr. Antoine

Got liza minelli

To sign a ball.

It says, "to my

Favorite all-star,

From liza minelli."

Engelbert humperdinck

Hit a home run

In that game.

Well, you know,

I don't really get

Engelbert humperdinck.

He's nice.

Picked me up once.

He's strong.

♪ Please release me ♪

♪ Let me go ♪

Are you hungry?

No.

Well, you have to

Eat something.

Come in here.

I got us a couple

Of tv dinners.

Albert:

What kind?

Harriet: fish cakes.

Fish cakes?

Oh, no.

You like fish, don't you?

It's like brain food.

We like nachos.

We like nachos.

Well, we don't

Have no nachos.

we have fish cakes.

We have fish cakes

With cauliflower

And brownies.

That's what we have.

Here are the plates,

And here are the cups.

Styrofoam?!

They're not

Biodegradable.

That's too bad,

Because I got



They're all misprinted,

So I got stuck with them.

I think it's too early

To talk about biodegradable.

No, no.

[Softly]

She's a polluter.

What?

Nothing.

Why don't I show you

Your room?

I want to go home.

She's nervous.

She scares me.

I'll stay by your side

Like krazy glue.

Promise?

I never break

A promise.

Harriet: who are

You talking to?

Nobody.

Harriet: mumbling

All the time.

I don't know what

You're talking about.

You notice I got you

Your own television set,

And if you look

Out the window,

You'll see

There's a park.

In the park,

There's a playground.

If anybody says

Anything to you, run.

Now, we're looking into

Boys' clubs and ys for you

Because I'm going to be

Working all the time.

I don't have time to

Spend with you, you know,

Because I'm trying

To expand my business.

I'm actually trying

To buy a warehouse supply.

Yeah, well...

We're looking into

Summer camps for you, too.

You like summer camp?

My mom

Took me places

In the summer.

Oh. Well,

I can't do that

Because, obviously,

I have a business to run.

Cupboard's over there.

Bathroom's down the hall.

I put some little

Mickey mouse soaps

In there for you.

Want to take a bath?

I'll go run you a bath.

I'll run you a bath.

Oh, and don't mess

With the fire escape.

It's off-limits.

[Siren]

You know, I heard

You're good in school.

Do you like school?

I guess so.

So...you miss

Everybody, huh?

Your mom and...

Say yes.

Yes.

Well, you're just

Going to have to...

Deal with it.

You know,

You got to get strong.

Got to learn

To grow up.

You don't always

Get choices in life.

Your mom had to do it.

I had to do it.

We had to grow up.

We grew up.

Your mom was

My best friend.

She was my real pal.

You can put your things

Away, can't you?

He wants you to tell

Him a big hello.

He wants you

To tell him

You like his face.

Why don't you

Pick him up

And give a big, big

Kiss on his face?

I don't want her

To pick me up.

Oh, yes,

You do. Ooh!

No, I don't.

[Door closes]

Oh, you cry?

Cry.

Is good to cry.

I won't cry!

I won't watch tv,

And I won't go

To summer camp,

And I won't

Wash my hands

With mickey mouse.

Maybe minnie?

No.

Goofy?

No. I want to go home!

But you have

No ticket.

I have

My own money.

It's all here.

I can use it for

Whatever I want to.

I have my own

Insurance policy that

My mother left me.

I'm going to be

Really rich.

It's for college,

You know?

She doesn't

Know anything

About baseball.

All she does is

Talk about newark.

I hate newark.

I hate it!

She--she--she wants...

She needs a friend, huh?

You should try.

I don't want to try.

Yes, you do.

No, I don't!

Yes, you do.

No, I don't!

Ye...

I want to go back

To vegas.

I don't

Like it here.

I don't want to try.

Albert?

Your bath's ready.

Albert, let's go.

It's down here.

I ran a tub for you.

I don't know

How you like it,

So maybe it's too hot.

You'll get in

And let me know.

I put some of this in.

It's big bird.

So...it's all ready.

Do you need me

To take your cl--

I can wash myself.

Oh! Great. I'm going

To fix dinner.

I can't live here.

If I live here,

I'll die.

Bogus: you cannot die.

You just got here.

Besides, if you die,

What will you do

Tomorrow?

What will I do?

I could lose my job.

If you die, I'm back

Waiting for someone

To make me up again.

Back where?

Back where

I come from.

Where's that?

That is where I am

Before you make me up.

Hmm?

Before I drew

Your picture?

Are there

Other people there?

Ooh!

Ooh. Everybody

You can imagine.

My mother?

You should wash

Behind the ears.

I want to go home.

I don't

Like it here.

I want to see

My mother.

Albert...

Your mother is dead.

I hate that word!

I want to go

To where you live.

This is where

I live, you know?

Here it is.

Where--where you live,

I live.

This is not

Where I live.

Is!

Isn't!

Is!

Isn't!

Is!

Isn't!

Isn't!

Isn't!

Albert, are you

All right in there?

Huh?

Bogus:

Say yes.

Yeah.

Great. Well, hurry up.

Dinner's almost ready.

[Laughing]

She's hungry.

Ha ha ha!

Albert,

Dinner's ready.

I'm not hungry.

Well, come on.

It turned out great.

I don't want any.

Come on. You got

To eat something.

I don't want any!

Fine. Fine.

[Knock on door]

Albert?

Albert, I made you

A sandwich.

[Doorbell rings]

Woman: this must

Be harriet.

This is mrs. Franklin,

Harriet--your foster mother.

Hi.

This is your new home.

Mrs. Franklin:

Come in.

This is harriet,

Everybody.

This is mr. Franklin,

Richard, david.

Hello, harriet.

And this is lorraine.

Hi.

Hi.

You're going to

Sleep in my room,

And we can be

Best friends.

Bogus: albert,

Are you hungry?

What's

In the sandwich?

Oh!

Peanuts.

Peanuts butter.

No, thank you.

No, thank you.

[Rap music playing]

[School bell rings]

Man: slow down!

Slow down! No running

In the hallways.

You know the rules.

Ok, ms. Franklin.

I'll take albert to his class.

You can pick him up at 2:45.

Say good-bye, albert.

Bye.

Listen to

Your teachers...

And don't get

Into trouble.

I'll be on the steps

At 2:45. Be there.

You hear

What she said?

Yes.

Woman: all right.

I'm going to have to

Call you back.

Good morning,

Harriet.

What,

Don't I exist?

Good morning,

Harriet. So?

How is he?

What's he like?

I don't know.

He's like a little boy.

Does he like his room?

Did you feed him?

He wasn't hungry.

He doesn't like

Styrofoam cups

Because they're

Not biodegradable.

Of course not.

He's a kid.

He's got

Convictions.

So? What did

You guys talk about?

What did

He have to say?

He didn't say

Much of anything to me.

He talked to his friend.

The child is

Obviously not alone.

He's got a friend?

Mm-hmm.

And I can't tell you

Anything about him

Because he's invisible

And I can't see him.

I had a little friend

When I was growing up.

Little bitty thing.

Can't remember her name,

But she lived in my ear,

And she wore a tuxedo,

And she

Whispered things to me

I never knew about.

She made me feel safe.

I couldn't have

Survived without her.

Drudella.

Yeah.

That was her name.

Excuse me!

Do I have

Any appointments today?

You can see the hudson

Brothers at 10:00.

If you want

To drop in on springer,

He's interested in

The c*ck glasses

At the march 30th rate.

Did bob morrison call?

He just called.

He can meet you at

The warehouse at 3:00.

I have to pick up

Albert at 2:45.

You can make it.

I can't. You're going to

Have to pick him up.

I got the dentist

At 3:00.

Take him with you.

I'll pick up albert

If you have

The root canal.

No! See...i knew this

Wasn't going to work out.

This is not

Going to work.

I haven't had

A conversation

With a child

Since i was a child,

And now I got one

Sitting on the steps

Waiting for me

To pick him up at 2:45.

[Children shouting]

[Horn sounding]

g*dd*mn!

g*dd*mn!

g*dd*mn!

Maybe she's

Not coming.

Boy: listen to him.

She'll come.

Boy:

There's no one there.

Albert: maybe

She'll never come.

This kid's

Really nuts.

Let's go.

She'll be mad.

I don't care.

Hey, weirdo,

Where are you going?

Boy: hey, albert,

Who you talking to?

Come on.

Soundtrack:

♪ Me and my shadow ♪

♪ Strolling down the avenue ♪

♪ Me and my shadow ♪

♪ I need a friend

To tell my troubles to ♪

That's

A big truck.

Look, look, look!

Hey, fish face!

[Horn honks]

Hey, look out!

Cabbie:

Watch out, kid.

Why wasn't somebody

Watching him?

We can't watch them

Every minute.

We're doing the best

That we can.

The parents

Got to assume some

Responsibility, too.

You were late.

You know that.

What are you telling me,

I'm irresponsible

Because I don't control

The traffic in newark?

You should

Have left earlier!

Hey, you 2 kids.

Did you see albert?

You know,

The new student.

Did you see him?

He went back to las vegas.

Talking

To himself.

You cover

The streets

And the park.

I'll check out

The yard here.

Don't worry.

We'll find him.

You 2 kids

Go on home.

Hey, lady!

Your kid's weird.

Come here.

You want to

See something

Really weird?

Sure.

Go home and look

At your mothers!

Aah!

Yoo hoo!

Eat lead,

Mutant scum!

[g*nsh*t]

Aah!

I'm...dying!

Huh!

Aah!

Aah! Ha ha ha!

Albert:

Whoo whoo whoo whoo!

[Imitating machine g*n fire]

Aah!

I got you!

Aah!

[Groans]

Aah!

Albert.

Albert!

What are you doing?

Do you know

That everybody's

Looking for you?

Come on!

What is the matter

With you?

The whole school

Is looking for you.

And where are you?

Laying here in the park

Talking to yourself.

You don't even know what

Direction you're going.

You live that way.

Hey! Excuse me.

I was here looking

For my lost son.

Get in the car.

He was lost. He's just

A little white boy,

Doesn't know where

He's going. He's trying

To find his way home.

Aren't we all?

No. We all are not.

I know where I live.

I live that way.

I've always known

Where I lived.

Please, spare me

Any kind of philosophy

You getting ready

To throw.

hakuna matata.

Disney cartoons

Everywhere you turn.

Disney,

Disney, disney.

People having

Conversations

With themselves.

Like you. You know

How strange you look

Having

A conversation

By yourself?

I have a theory

About that.

If I can't see it,

It doesn't exist.

That's because you

Don't believe in magic.

Yeah, well...

I don't.

You know why?

Because when I was

A little kid,

They used to have

This show on tv

Called peter pan.

Had this

Grown woman in it

Named mary martin

Dressed up

Like a little boy,

Which I don't

Even want to

Get into now.

So this little fairy

Gets sick, right?

Tinkerbell.

She drinks the poison

That captain hook

Left for peter.

Yeah. Whoever, whatever.

Anyway, they said,

"Well, if you

Believe in magic,

"Why, then, you just

Clap your hands,

And she'll get better.

Yeah, if you believe,

Clap your hands, ooh!

She'll get better."

Let me tell you

Something:

I didn't believe, so I

Didn't clap my hands,

And you know what?

She got better anyway,

Which just goes

To show you there is

No such thing as magic.

People just try

To make you believe

That there is.

I watched that video

With my mom.

We always

Clapped our hands.

Yeah, well...

Ha ha!

You can't believe--

I got caught

In a detour.

You know, they're

Tearing up allen street.

Come on, harriet.

Nobody takes

Allen street.

You take rose,

And you cut

Across the 92.

So you brought

Your bodyguard, huh?

Albert, mr. Morrison.

Hi. Bob.

Come on.

I just want to

Show you this.

Harriet: isn't this great?

Isn't this spectacular?

Isn't it everything I said

It was going to be?

I mean, it's amazing.

Look at this place!

And you know what's

Wonderful about it?

It has its own



Albert, don't break anything.

I don't own it yet.

And leave

That cat alone.

Bob, so, can you see

What I can do here?

You can make

A lot of soup.

Bob, I'm serious.

I take you

Seriously, harriet.

I always did.

Well, then,

Make the numbers work.

Put it together, bob,

And make it work.

Albert: wow!

Bogus: vanilla.

What do you want?

Oh, uh...

Strawberry!

Strawberry? What?

Ok, strawberry.

Strawberry.

And chocolate.

Chocolate.

Bananas.

♪ Tutti-frutti once

And spumoni twice ♪

♪ Banana split

For my baby ♪

♪ And a glass

Of plain water for me ♪

♪ Spray the whip cream

For at least an hour ♪

♪ Pile it as high

As the eiffel tower ♪

Nuts!

♪ Load it with nuts,

About 16 tons ♪

♪ Top it with a pizza

Just for fun ♪

♪ Banana split for my baby ♪

♪ And a glass

Of plain water for me ♪

♪ Banana split for my baby ♪

♪ And a glass

Of plain water for me ♪

Why wrap yourself up

In this place?

It's like

A big tomb.

All your vitality,

Why do you want to

Bury it in here?

Well, because this

Is good, bob.

This is

A good investment.

I'll do my best.

Bob: that looks good.

What do you

Got there?

A banana split!

Uh-huh.

May I have a taste?

Mmm!

That's good!

You know,

I have a boy your age.

I'm giving him

A birthday party

In a couple of weeks.

Like to come?

Sure.

Good!

You like a party,

Don't you, harriet?

Oh, yeah!

Got to go.

Wait a minute, bob.

There's so much

I want to show you.

I've seen enough.

I'll run some numbers

And get back to you.

So long, albert.

Don't get no tummy ache.

So long, bob.

Harriet:

Run the numbers, bob.

I'll do the best

I can, harriet.

Ask her if she wants

A banana split.

She won't.

She won't what?

Nothing.

Come on.

Listen, uh...

This is the deal.

I brought him here

To show him

All of this

Because I want him

To give me the money

To get it.

Now because of

You, we're going

To a party,

So I want you

To take bob aside,

And I want you

To say, "bob,

This investment

Is great for

Your bank."

Repeat that to me

Right now.

Both: this investment

Is great for your bank.

Albert, can I ask

You a question?

Who do you talk to

All the time?

Bogus.

Bogus.

And, uh...where's

Your friend come from?

France. He's french.

French.

oui.

oui.

Listen, albert,

I got to tell you.

I'd feel a lot

More comfortable

If you had

Some visible friends.

See, then I wouldn't care

If they were from france

Or germany or ethiopia.

Tell her about

Ethiopia.

Ethiopia is

In the northern

Part of africa.

Children in ethiopia

Are very hungry.

There's a drought there.

That means no rain.

Liza minnelli

Went there once

With shirley maclaine.

Mom told me audrey hepburn

Made them come.

How do you

Know all that?

I wrote a report.

My mom helped me.

You want

A root beer?

You know, albert,

You're so smart.

I...i just don't

Think you need

That french guy anymore.

Let me

Take care of him.

Say there, mr. Bogus,

I don't think albert--

Albert: that's not

Where he is.

He's not teeny-tiny?

He's bigger

Than you are.

Oh.

Oh! Ha ha!

Of course he is!

Look at him standing

Right over there.

Listen, it's time

For you to go

Back to france.

You know, albert

Doesn't really

Need you anymore.

I know! No, I know

That you're not happy

Here in newark.

You hate newark.

I know you do.

Oh. Well,

No, you agree.

Of course.

Ha ha! Thank you.

Well, it's been real.

Bye-bye now.

au revoir.

Voila. He's gone.

You didn't really

See him.

Of course I did.

What was he wearing?

A coat.

A big coat.

A big, french coat.

What color was it?

Brown. He was wearing

A big, french, brown coat,

And he said

To say good-bye,

So why don't you

Finish your spaghetti,

Have an oreo cookie,

And I'm going to finish

My phone calls, ok?

See, we're working

It out, albert.

[Whispering]

Bogus.

Bogus.

Bogus?

Bogus?

Bogus!

Bogus, you can

Come out now.

Bogus:

Rrrr...

[Rat-tat-tat]

Oh!

Where were you?

Why did you disappear?

She fooled you.

She fooled me, too,

For a minute.

I thought I was gone.

pendent une minute,

j'ai cru que j'etais parti.

Albert: I don't want you

To leave me again.

That's an order.

oui, mon general.

You're my friend,

And I want you to

Always be my friend.

For as long

As you need me.

I'll always need you.

You're my best friend.

My only friend.

You're my mon ami.

I am your

Best friend.

I know you better

Than anyone.

Better than anyone.

Better than you

Know yourself.

[Humming]

[Singing in french]

[the continental playing]

Bogus, faintly: hello.

Hello.

Harriet?

Hello?

Hello.

Would you like

To see me?

Mmm...

[Blows]

Huh!

Albert?

Harriet: albert, were you

In my room last night?

Albert: no.

[Talking on radio]

[Shuts off radio]

Let's go.

Uhh!

Uhh...

Woman: words starting

With "a." Anybody else?

Girl: artichoke.

Artichoke. What

A wonderful word, angela.

That will be

Fun to use in a sentence.

I'll show you

How to spell it.

Angela: I know

How to spell it.

Boy:

How about alaska?

Good, thomas.

Alaska's a good subject.

It's our country's

Largest state.

I know that.

Uh, words

Beginning with "b."

Albert?

Bogus.

Bogus. Well, what

A grown-up word.

Can you tell me

What it means?

It means...

Friend.

I'm afraid that's

Not right, albert.

Bogus is a word

You'll use when

You're a little older.

It means fake.

Something that

Is not real.

No, bogus is real.

Bogus is not real.

The word bogus means

Just the opposite

Of real.

It means pretending

To be real.

Something not being

What it seems to be.

It's very important

You not confuse the

Meaning of words.

Ha ha!

What are you

Looking at, albert?

What's so funny?

Mmm...nothing.

Now, then, albert,

Can you tell me

The correct meaning

Of the word bogus?

It means...

Friend.

No, no, no!

Bogus means fake!

Bogus is not fake!

Don't you shout

At me, young man!

No, bogus is real!

He's always been real!

[Children giggling]

All right.

All right, um...

We'll talk

About this later on.

You can sit down.

Um...we'll go on.

Words starting

With the letter "c."

Boy:

Oh, right here.

Jeffrey.

[Dishes clanking]

Bob morrison's kid's

Birthday party.

Uh-uh. Tell him

I'm in philadelphia.

Oh, come on, harriet.

It will be fun.

It will be good

For albert.

He'll meet other kids.

What scares you about

A birthday party?

[Crash]

Take it out

Of my paycheck.

Who said anything

About being scared?

I'm not scared

Of anything.

Then what's your problem?

Penny:

He's 7.



He loved her.

He's got to

Work it out.

I know he's 7.

I know his mother died.

I also have to

Work it out.

But you're not 7.

Some part of me is 7!

Let the part that's 7

Be friends with his 7.

What are you,

Sigmund freud?

Stop analyzing me.

You are my secretary!

Take the kid

To the party.

Man: are you ready

For a surprise?

Children:

Yeah!

It's me, dr. Surprise!

Yay!

Yay!

Do you like

Surprises?

Yes!

Yes!

Bob: harriet,

Harriet, harriet.

Ha ha ha!

Here's a party hat

For you.

I don't--

Uh, yes, harriet.

Yes, yes, yes.

Hey, doug.

Hi, bob. How are you?

Long time no see.

Here's a hat

For you.

Kid's having a great

Time, harriet.

Oh, yeah.

Have some cake.

I don't--

Come on, harriet.

Have a piece of cake.

This is a nice house.

Well, I got the house.

My wife got the money.

Yes. I always thought

It was the other way around.

Listen, um...

About the loan--

It's a party,

Harriet.

We'll talk

About it later.

Children: yay!

Is everybody having fun

At dougie's birthday party?

Yeah!

Yeah!

And now, I want you

To feast your eyes

On the magic closet:

Dr. Surprise's

Cabinet of mystery!

Ha ha ha!

h* h*!

The one and only place

That's guaranteed to show you

Things as they

Really are.

It's the double-door

Trick.

Magic wand,

Oh, magic wand.

Choose, magic wand...

That lovely lady

Across the lawn!

Please, come up

And help us.

Yeah, you. Yes.

No. No, thank you.

Get somebody else.

You're the one.

No, I'm not.

Just do your

Magic trick.

Are we going

To let this lady

Get away from

The magic closet?

No!

No!

Then let's find out

Who she really is.

Go and get her!

Ha ha ha!

No! Come on, now!

Stop!

Ha ha ha!

h* h* h*!

Girl: ow!

I'm sorry. Tell her

I didn't mean to hurt her.

Ok, kids, come on.

Back to your seats.

Come on, right now.

Hurry up, everyone.

Choose me,

Dr. Surprise.

I'll do it.

What's the matter

With you, harriet?

I told him I didn't

Want to play.

I said no!

Dr. Surprise: just settle down,

Kids. Settle down. Yes.

Are you ready

For another surprise?

Yes!

Yes!

Woman: what am I

Supposed to do?

Right into the box,

My little cinnamon bun.

Here is

The big surprise!

Are you ready

In the closet?

Woman: yes, I am,

Dr. Surprise.

Ha ha ha!

Sim sola bim!

Huh! Momma!

Where's my momma?

[Crying]

[Adding machine whirs]

Dr. Surprise isn't really

A very good magician.

No, he's not.

That's pretty good.

I hold it this way,

And you can't

See it.

And I do this.

See?

And it drops

Down here. See?

It's called

The french pass.

More french, huh?

I've got

A better one.

Mr. Antoine

Taught me.

He's the best

Magician

In las vegas.

Look, I don't have time

For this right now.

I have these bills

I have to pay.

I just really

Don't have time.

[Door slams]

Albert:

I hate her!

I hate her!

He wants to show you

A trick. That's all.

Why you

Push him away?

And now

You feel so bad.

Harriet, why do you

Want to feel so bad?

[Adding machine whirs]

What is this?

Belasco's 12,456

Pink coasters.

I will be so glad

When I'm out of the

Coaster business.

Let me get you

A cup of coffee.

What's wrong?

Bob morrison

Called this morning.

Yeah?

He said the bank

Won't give you

The loan.

He says he really

Wishes he could,

But he doesn't think

He can

Get it through

The loan committee.

He doesn't think

He can get it through?

Get him on the phone.

He's out

Of town all day.

You can't reach him.

He gave me

His home number

In case you want to

Talk to him later.

I don't want

To talk to him later.

I want to see him

Face-to-face tonight.

Get on the phone,

And tell him I want

To see him tonight.

What about albert?

I'll get the lady downstairs.

She'll babysit.

She doesn't charge

For invisible friends.

Man: what's

Your order?





Harvey, it seems

That veta is having

A party

This afternoon...

[Movie continues indistinctly]

[Blows]

Bogus: ohh...

It's a bad idea,

Albert.

It's a bad idea.

You can't stop me.

But it's too far.

It's only



I saw it in an ad.

Oh, I don't like this.

It's a bad idea.

Don't follow me.

[Voice on p.a. System]

Do you want to go

To atlantic city?

Well, thank you,

Harvey.

I prefer you, too.

Ha ha ha!

Harriet: hi.

Huh? Oh, hi.

What a lovely movie.

Everything ok?

Fine. He's such

A good little boy.

Is he asleep?

Not a sound.

At least not now.

He was in there

Talking to somebody,

If you know

What I mean.

Yeah. What do

I owe you?

Uh, $4.00 an hour,

That will be $18.00.

Ok.

Oh, thank you.

You know, when my

Daughter was small,

She used to talk to

Herself all the time.

Really?

Yeah. I even had to

Set an extra place

For somebody

Named trinket.

Hell, they were

Real close.

Good night.

Good night.

Albert?

Albert?

Come on,

What are you doing?

Come on, albert,

Where are you?

Albert!

Albert?

Damn!

Albert! A bad idea.

It's still a bad idea!

[Music playing faintly]

Bogus: ah, voila.

merci!

Hi, gomez.

It's me, albert.

[Chirping]

[Screeches]

[Speaking french]

Albert: hi!

It's me--albert.

Albert! But what

Are you doing here?

mon petit chou.

mon petit chou.

What are you

Doing here?

It will not work.

They will send you back.

No, they won't.

They love me.

Of course

We love you.

But how did

You get here?

On the bus.

On the bus?

Who'd you come with?

Where's

Your godmother?

Where is harriet?

Where?

I ran away.

I'm never

Going back.

I want to stay

With you.

I can't believe

You have done this,

Albert.

You are crazy!

I can do

The egg trick.

I can do

The double disappear.

Antoine:

c'est ridicule.

il doit retourner

chez sa tante,

et le plus

tot sera le mieux.

ne sois pas bete,

antoine.

j'essaie de

lui dire que c'est

une mauvaise idee.

You can cut me in half

If you want to...

And I can learn more.

I can do the egg trick.

Anything you want me to do.

Quiet down, albert.

You rest now, ok?

doucement,

doucement.

I take off

Your shoes, ok?

Now rest.

Rest.

And later,

We will take you

For hot cakes, ok?

But we have to call

Your godmother.

I want to stay

With you.

You cannot stay with us.

Is impossible.

But we love you

Very, very much.

Mm-hmm,

But is impossible.

Now sleep.

Sleep.

Oh, magic...sleep.

Now, you sleep.

Sleep.

No more troubles.

Just peaceful sleep.

Hush.

Sleep. Hush, hush.

Hush.

fermez les yeux.

close your eyes.

Shh. Hush.

Sleep.

Hush.

[Whistling]

[Squawk]

[Thunder]

Albert: bogus?

Bogus?

I'm here.

I'm not going back.

Shh.

Yes, you will.

You have

To be strong.

She comes for you.

I want my mom.

I know.

I want to find her.

I want to go

To your world.

But I'm not real.

I am imagination.

I am...bogus.

I don't care.

I don't want to be here.

Take me to where

You come from.

[Sputtering]

It's not

A real place.

It's dangerous.

You get lost...

And never come back.

I'm going,

And you can't stop me!

Albert!

Albert, come back!

Albert!

Albert, albert!

Come back!

[People chattering]

[Applause]

[Laughter]

[Applause]

Announcer:

Ladies and gentlemen,

Please welcome

The one, the only...

The great albertini!

[Applause]

[Dramatic music playing]

[Applause]

[Whistling and cheering]

Watch, because I am about

To confound you.

[Cheering]

[Waltz begins playing]

[Applause]

Mom?

Mom!

Mom!

[Thunder]

Mom!

Come back!

Antoine: he's been

Here since we came

Off the stage.

Babette: he's anyway

Totally exhausted.

Harriet:

Of course he's exhausted.

Who the hell sells a bus ticket

To a little boy?

Aren't people

Paying attention out there?

Shh. Don't wake him.

Watch him twitch--

I think he dreams.

There's something

Strange. How come

A little boy like that

Can run away

In the middle

Of the night?

He's homesick.

I still don't

Understand.

You don't have to understand

Because I'm his godmother.

I'm taking him home.

Whether you

Want to or not.

I don't recall getting

Any phone calls.

You guys never even

Checked to see where

The hell he was.

[Antoine

Speaking french]

[Screech]

Ok, little guy.

Up we go.

All right.

Ok.

We're home.

Now we'll get into bed.

It'll be great.

Oh, albert, I know we

Got off to a rough start,

But you're just going

To have to understand

This is where

You live now.

This is your home.

You know?

But it's probably too late

To be talking about this.

We can talk about it

Over breakfast in the morning.

You know, I'll make you

Some french toast from scratch

'Cause I know

You like french stuff.

And maybe--maybe I can find

Some real syrup--

You know, the kind they have

From real trees.

I'm sure they must

Have some somewhere.

You feel

A little bit cold.

Maybe I should make you

Some soup, huh?

He doesn't need soup.

Yeah, I'll make you

A little bit of soup.

You know,

Your mom loved soup.

There you go.

And you? You're supposed

To be his best friend.

Where were you?

Why would you let him

Go to atlantic city like that?

You're ok? Good.

You know, bogus, you ought

To start doing your job.

i do my job?

Do your job.

You don't do it

Well enough as far

As I'm concerned,

Because I do my job.

I do the best

That I can.

What more can I do?

I got albertitis.

I'm talking to myself.

No. You are talking

To bogus.

I'm talking to bogus?

Bogus is an imaginary

Character on some

Little boy's wall.

You're not real.

No. It's time

To see me, harriet.

See you?

I don't see anything.

Where are you?

I'm here.

Where?

Here, harriet.

Just behind you.

Don't be afraid.

Try.

I'm here.

Believe, harriet,

And you will see.

I'm waiting.

Aah!

Don't be afraid!

Stop, harriet.

Don't be afraid.

There's a big

White man

In my kitchen!

Get out of here!

Get away from me!

No, no, no!

Harriet!

I'm a part of you,

Harriet.

No. Go away.

You are such

A difficult woman.

I said, go away.

How can I go away?

Like this.

Oh!

Oh, you want

To play dirty?

[Crunching sound]

Ow! Stop that!

That hurt.

What's the matter

With you?

I said I didn't

Want to play.

You have to play.

I don't have

To play with you!

This is all your fault,

You know that?

If not for you,

This little boy

Would be fine.

It's better I'm here.

You need me, harriet.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

I need a big

Imaginary frenchman

Who comes in and

Messes up my life?

No. This is nuts.

No, it's not nuts.

Is imagination.

Where is your

Imagination,

Harriet?

My imagination is fine.

I see you, don't i?

Oh, there is

More to see.

Oh, really?

Oh, that's right.

That's right.

All right, so I should

Play with this

Because really

What you are

Is some little acorn

In my stomach

That I ate from

Some damn doughnut.

Sort of, yes.

And there's 3 of you?

Is there a past,

Present, and future?

Yes.

Oh, I see. Ok.

So at the end,

You're going to show me

How good a person

I can be,

And in the beginning,

You're going to show me

What a sad little girl

I was, aren't you?

You're going

To take me back

And show me

The little harriet

Who used to sit around

And wait for people

To come and play with her

And wait for mail

From her mother,

And nobody ever wrote.

You going to sit around,

You going to explain

That to me?

I understand.

I've been waiting

For that.

Really?

Yeah.

Where were you?

Where were you

When i needed you?

When i was little?

I was there.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

This little boy

Doesn't even like me.

Oh, yeah?

No.

He would like

The harriet I see.

The true harriet.

la vraie.

The one

Who is gentle.

Not afraid to play.

Not afraid to love.

Not afraid to trust.

The real harriet

Would dance...

With a clumsy

Frenchman...

If he asked her?

[dancing in the dark

playing]

[Dance music

With latin rhythm playing]

[Applause]

[Music changes

To jazz rhythm]

[the continental playing]

[Bogus singing in french]

[Music changes

To polka rhythm]

[Applause]

[Laughing]

Bogus: it's time

To bring albert back.

Tell him you see me.

Harriet: albert?

Hey, albert?

I saw him.

Albert?

Albert!

Albert!

Albert!

God.

Albert.

I'm coming, boy.

Albert? Albert.

Albert?

Come on,

Take my hand.

Come on.

Lorraine: albert?

Go to harriet.

Come on, albert.

I'm right here.

Ugh!

Albert!

[Grunting]

Lorraine:

You can do it.

Go on.

Harriet:

That's right.

That's it.

Go on, albert.

Take her hand.

Reach.

Come on.

Take her hand.

You can do it.

Take my hand.

You can do it, albert.

Come on, one more step.

Come on.

[Grunts]

Don't be scared.

Come on. Yeah.

All right, I got you.

Come on, give me

Your other hand.

Oh, all right.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, god.

Oh, my god.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

[Sobbing]

Oh.

Listen, the next

Time you decide

To run away,

Do it on

The ground, ok?

I don't want

To run away.

Good.

'Cause I don't

Want you to.

Tell him

You want him here.

I want you here.

I need you.

I really need you.

Tell her

You need her, too.

I need you, too.

Good.

'Cause I want to

Try to make us

Into a family, ok?

Tell her

You want that, too.

Me, too.

Bogus: I'll try to be

A good mother.

That's pushing it.

I'll try.

You hungry?

Uh-huh.

Good.

And now the soup.

Come on.

Harriet: you know,

Your mom did this

To me once.

Albert: my mom ran away?

Harriet: yeah. She used

To run away all the time.

Albert: really?

Come on, albert.

Let's go.

What are you doing?

You can't run

Through a graveyard.

Stop, boy, stop!

Pow!

Got you.

I tried to be nice,

Albert, but you

Wouldn't listen.

[Albert makes

sh**ting sounds]

Got you.

Oh. I think you got me

Through the heart.

Albert: that was

A good one, harriet!

Albert, slow down!

Albert:

Come on, harriet!

au revoir.

Well, it's funny.

When they need us,

We are there.

Big "hello,"

Big "let's be friends

That never parts

Forever and forever."

But when it's done...

Poof! We disappear.

They never say good-bye.

They never see us go.

Oh, sometimes

They remember us...later.

Maybe not.

But...i cannot complain.

It's my job, you know.

[Sound of jet overhead]

Whoo!

Oh, by the way...

If you need me,

I am available, hmm?

♪ Anyone can see

We're good together ♪

♪ We're a perfect match ♪

♪ Everything we do,

We do together ♪

♪ When you itch,

I scratch ♪

♪ You know what's mine

Is yours ♪

♪ In riches or in rags ♪

♪ You have my guarantee ♪

♪ And if you take a trip ♪

♪ Who's carrying your bags?

You'll see ♪

♪ It's me ♪

♪ And when it comes

To tried and true companions ♪

♪ We're the best of all ♪

♪ Nothing in the world

Can separate us ♪

♪ When you slip,

I fall ♪

♪ What would we do

Without each other ♪

♪ Oh, when you sleep,

I snore ♪

♪ And that's exactly what the

Best of friends are for... ♪

♪ ...we're a great duet ♪

♪ Masters of the ancient

Art of teamwork ♪

♪ When you're hot,

I sweat ♪

♪ You read me like a book ♪

♪ I know

What makes you tick ♪

♪ We're soul mates

Through and through ♪

♪ No matter where you go ♪

♪ I promise that

I'll stick like glue ♪

♪ To you ♪

♪ You're lookin' at a pair

Of kindred spirits ♪

♪ Only way to fly ♪

♪ Partners who will

Always help each other ♪

♪ When you wash,

I dry ♪

♪ Know that we can't do

Without us ♪

♪ Now and forevermore ♪

♪ And that's what the very best

Of friends are for... ♪

♪ Lookin' at a pair

Of kindred spirits ♪

♪ Only way to fly ♪

♪ Partners who will

Always help each other ♪

♪ When you wash,

I dry ♪

♪ We know that we can't do

Without us ♪

♪ Now and forevermore ♪

♪ And no matter what

The journey's ends are ♪

♪ How difficult

The river's bends are ♪

♪ That's what the very best

Of friends are for ♪

♪ Friends will

Loan you money ♪

♪ Yeah, and make your

Little dark times sunny ♪

♪ They sure will ♪

♪ That's what the very best

Of friends are for ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ They ain't gonna leave you

On no sinkin' ship ♪

♪ That's the thing

About friendship ♪

♪ Mmm ♪