[music playing]
Another taste
of the cat scratch
will get your heathen
back into the task.
[crack]
Ah!
[crack]
Ah!
[laughing]
[crack]
Dig, you galley scum.
Leave him.
Keep digging.
Back to your digging.
My
Hey, One Eye.
You'll be digging up a king's
ransom with your own hands
if you keep dashing the help.
I believe there
is no treasure here,
just like there was no treasure
in the Tortugas or Cayman Brac
or anywhere else
that you selled us.
Now, have you ever
known a falsehood to leave
the lips of Jezebel Jack?
We must be reading the
map wrong, would you say?
You shall deceive
us more, Jezebel Jack.
Oh, it takes a brave man
to utter words of mutiny.
[g*nsh*t]
sh**t, you cowardly dogs, sh**t!
[men yelling]
[g*nshots]
To your right,
man, to your right.
Stand and be delivered to
the author of your creation.
Jack.
Help.
Help, Captain.
Help, Captain.
You shall be a fine
feast for the scorpions.
Fair sailing.
Ah!
Burn by Beelzebub's hand
forever, Jezebel Jack.
[country music playing]
Boom, boom, boom.
Boom, boom.
Oh, hi, Mrs. Gateland.
Slow down, young man.
You nearly caused me
to have my spasms.
Oh, did you see that, Mr. Gray?
He's a menace, always
hooting around, scaring
the devil out of everybody.
That boy needs to be on a
leash, a pole in the yard,
tied up where he
can't hurt anybody.
Isn't that right, Cecil, baby?
Please calm down,
Mrs. Gateland.
I'll take care of Bobby.
Bobby!
Bobby!
Bobby!
You've really upset
Mrs. Gateland.
Upset?
He nearly k*lled me.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
Bobby!
He's an obstinate boy.
Hi, Mr. Gray, the Plantarians
will stop at nothing
to take me to the ship.
Boy's just pretending.
[laughs]
Well, what he needs
is some discipline.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
Phone's out of
order, Mrs. Gateland.
Oh, well, come on, Cecil,
let's go call his mother.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
Boom, boom, boom.,
Bobby.
Bobby, snap out of it.
Oh, uh, hi, Mr. Gray.
Got any tomato paste?
Oh.
Mr. Skinner.
Ah, Ms. Jennings.
Good morning.
I made some iced tea.
Would you like some?
Yes, please.
Oh, what a lovely home.
It's so rural.
Boom, boom.
That was boom, boom, boom, boom.
Oh, no.
Out of a*mo.
Bobby, I'm sorry, honey.
You can't play in
here right now.
But, Mom, Brent James and the
Younger g*ng were about to--
I don't want to hear any
more about the James g*ng.
No go on out to the
shed and help Grandpa.
But, Mom.
Go on.
Sorry, Mr. Skinner.
I'm fine, thanks.
He's got a big imagination.
No need to apologize,
Ms. Jennings.
Boys can dream up
almost anything.
You were saying.
Yes.
If your bank can just wait
till I bring this harvest in,
I'm sure I can make
up the back payments.
If this was to
me, Ms. Jennings,
there wouldn't be a problem.
But my hands are tied.
Frankly, the loan
committee is nervous
since your husband left.
There is nothing I can do.
My husband left two
years ago, Mr. Skinner,
and I've made some payments.
En garde, Sir Skinner.
[inaudible], sir.
[inaudible] your ugly looks.
Take this, Mr. Skinner.
Hey, Grandpa.
Yeah.
Mom said you needed some help.
GRANDPA: Oh, she did, huh?
OK.
Let's see here.
Why don't you hand me that
wrench over there, Bobby.
What's wrong, son?
Mom's always yelling
at me, any time
I try to play anything.
Well, you can
have to understand
that your mom's been under an
awful lot of pressure lately.
She says to quit making stuff
up, but you tell me Jesse James
and the Younger g*ng were real.
Well, they were real.
Legend says they came
right through here.
They did?
You never told me that.
Did they sh**t any bankers?
After they robbed
the Glendale train,
they rode straight
through Nebraska.
And they had a US Marshal
right on their tail.
Now, as the story goes, the
strongbox with the silver bars
was so heavy that it was
slowing Jess and the g*ng down.
So they had to do
something about that.
So, they get rid it.
They hit it right here in
the Benson County area.
Really?
Yeah, I want to
show you something.
Hold on.
Here it is.
It's a secret.
Don't tell anybody.
Right here.
Now this is a copy from a
newspaper article from 1876.
Now they published a
picture of the maps
that Alan Pinkerton took
from one of the Younger g*ng.
Let me show you something.
Look here.
There's Lincoln, and there's
the old Pennsylvania tracks.
What are all these things?
Well, I guess that's some sort
of a code that Jesse made up.
Fact is, nobody
ever figured it out.
And that old Crenshaw
Lake strongbox
is still waiting to be found.
You mean it's
around here somewhere?
Right here in
Lincoln, so they say.
Let's go hunt for it, Grandpa.
GLENNA: No, you're not going to
hunt for anything, young man,
until you get some
chores done around here.
Now, you go wrap up that
scrap bailing wire you
were supposed to do yesterday.
But Mom, if we could
find the silver--
Bobby, the wire.
OK, Mom.
You know, it doesn't
help, you filling his head
with all these tall tales.
Glenna, it's just a story.
It's a part of history.
I'm worried about him, Dad.
You know, these
characters, they--
they become so real to him.
It's spooky.
Look, the boy doesn't
have anybody to play with,
and it's been really rough on
him since John's been gone.
Yeah, well, it's been
really rough on all of us.
[screaming]
Hey!
Take care, man.
They were thick with
savages, human carrion,
if truth be told.
I laid bare my cutlass
before don't them.
Ah!
Take it easy, mate.
You wouldn't want
your old captain
to pass on to his certain
glory now would you?
Oh, you're a
brave one, Captain.
Those savages eat the
flesh of sailing men.
I tried to save the lads.
But there were herds
of the cursed devils.
By the fate of the author
of all that's good,
I saw this one in me leg.
And the heathen ran big beak
through with a jagged spear,
made by the devil himself.
Grieve not now, my captain.
I do my best, but
this is going to hurt.
Nothing like the
pain in my heart
when I realized
that I could not get
that treasure up for you boys.
Ah!
Rejoice, Alli, it is out!
Ah!
Sorry, Captain, might
I bear the pain myself.
Now you get some rest.
Out.
Yes, Captain, take it easy.
You'll be at the
helm soon, Captain.
Come on, Reg.
He needs his rest.
Don't she look
pretty, right there.
[laughing]
Well go on.
Didn't you hear
the ship's medic?
Leave this old hulk
to rest on a leisure.
My blood must calm
after fighting
off a nation of savages.
A nation of savages, was it?
Oh, a thousand of
the bloody things,
whooping their bloody w*r cry.
It was enough to
shiver the bones
of even the bravest soldier.
This, real map, was revealed
to me hidden in the log book.
Planning to split up the
treasure was never your course.
Sailing back to Kingston was
your sure plan to rid us all
and use the real
map for your own.
Well I haven't had
that much schooling,
but I reckon that half an
equal share, be a smart better
than a tenth, hey?
Mate.
Mate it it hey?
Well, I know the map and
I have no need for a mate.
That map is coded in the
language of an adventurer.
Demon starts in
your fool head.
You mutinous dog.
Time's come for Jezebel
Jack to meet his creator.
Hah!
[g*nsh*t]
The creator is not yet
ready for a rogue such as I.
What's going on?
What's happened here?
Captain?
And then Mr. Skinner
says we haven't paid
the night for three months.
Three months.
Bet the Carson's haven't
paid theirs for six months.
Pass the potatoes please.
I know it's been
three months, but it's
not like he doesn't understand
the farming business.
He knows we can't even
harvest for another month.
[g*nshots]
And he knows with John
gone, the work's harder,
and it's already been a problem.
If he's going to take
this farm away from me,
he's got another thing coming.
I have worked way too
hard to be intimidated
by someone like Mr. Skinner.
I'm right on the edge
here, do you understand?
Got to do something.
I mean, we can't afford
to take any chances.
We're not going to be
able to make ends meet.
Oh, I know.
I know.
Well, it upsets me, you know?
What does he expect me to do?
What am I gonna do?
I mean, I'm right on
the edge here, Dad.
Cover us.
Jesse, it's over.
OK, Jesse, run for it.
Bobby!
What's gotten into you?
Did I get him?
You get over there and
clean up that mess right now.
I'm sorry.
I thought I--
Oh never mind.
Go on, go to your room.
Hurry up.
What has gotten into this child?
Now, Glenna, calm down.
Ah!
Look at this.
[crying]
Looks like a big one coming.
We'd better lock it down.
OK.
Get Bobby to help you.
I'll get the tool shed.
Come on, Bobby, let's go.
Hurry, it's muscling up outside.
Coming, Grandpa.
Bobby, bring the
laundry in the house.
Oh!
Grandpa!
What happened?
Are you OK?
Bobby, Bobby,
I'm hurt real bad.
Let me help you up.
No, no, no.
Go get your mother.
Now hurry.
Mom!
Bobby, you cover the tractor
and then you stay inside.
Come here.
I want to say I'm sorry about
how angry I was last night.
That's OK, Mom.
When I get Grandpa to the
hospital, I'll call, OK?
Don't worry, Mom, I can
take care of the house.
You're going to be OK,
ain't you, Grandpa?
I'm going to be fine, son.
I'll just be out of
action for a little while.
Just hold the fort, soldier.
That a boy.
Let's go
If my lungs filled
with the salty sea,
my blood will be on your
hands, and ye confounded dogs
will never find the
treasure that you
labored so hard to acquire.
Fergus found out about
your phony map, Jackie boy,
and you m*rder*d the
poor bugger for it.
It was self-defense.
[laughing]
He's a lying flacker.
Yeah, throw him over.
We've been sailing the
seven seas like fools
following your tall tales.
Now we got the real map, thanks
to Fergus, god rest his soul.
Not too hasty, lads.
If ye desire to become
rich gentlemen of means,
that map is coded in the
language of an adventurer.
We've had enough.
Tell your lies to the squids.
Yeah!
[non-english speech] To
drown a chief is to be cursed.
Listen, you swabs,
the witch speaks
of things that are beyond ye.
A captain and a
chief be the same
in the eyes of the spirits.
And the Author of all that
is good will cast down fates
upon ye that ye cannot bear.
You're doomed by
your own hand if ye
shove that sticker [inaudible].
The spirits are
angry, even now.
Thou has been warned by
the mouth of the witch.
Ah!
You're a lying,
thieving, murdering,
double-crosser, Jezebel Jack.
We'll not be betrayed by a
wicked such as you again.
Mr. Murzol, loose him nigh.
The curses of Sulsatan
be on your skull.
Can you see him?
Did he go down?
What's that?
Well the grass certainly
grows well in hell.
PA SYSTEM: Dr. Martin, please
report to surgery, Dr. Martin,
please report to surgery.
[phone ringing]
What governor resides on an
island in the Sea of Sargasos?
[phone ringing]
Bobby, pick up the phone.
Ma'am, you can
see your father now
before we take him to x-ray.
Great.
Thanks.
I'll be right there.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Right, 'tis but a lad.
Lord?
Be I in heaven or hell?
Answer me, Lord.
I've not lived a
God fearing life.
Whatever your judgment, that
Spanish wench deserved it.
You're awake.
An angel.
I've been saved, Lord.
You've had mercy
on my black soul.
Hallelujah!
I'm in heaven.
No, you're not.
You're in Nebraska.
Nebraska?
Is that near Jamaica.
No, it's near Kansas.
Oh, well, why
didn't you say so?
Kansas, is it?
Kansas?
Would that be at the
bottom of the sea?
I must arise.
Arise.
The ship is capsizing.
Abandon ship!
Abandon ship!
Every man for himself.
Hold on, hold on.
It's just a chair.
To the Lifeboats
Hold on, hold on.
Wait just a moment.
What?
You got a boo-boo.
A boo-boo?
Let me fix that.
It'll get infected.
Wait there.
Doomed to a Dutchman's hell.
I'm going to spray
some disinfectant on it.
Now hold still.
This may sting a little.
Ah!
Ah!
You are the devil!
You stuck me with
an invisible knife.
What demon possesses you, boy?
It's just to keep
the infection down.
It'll go away.
Please, please calm down.
[growling]
Hey, really, it's OK.
Now does it feel better.
What kind of
black magic is this?
Ah!
[giggles]
It's not funny.
It's not funny at all.
He never came up,
ne'er even once.
The sharks took him speedily.
There's no blood in the water.
He's dead.
Devils don't die.
They just evolve.
You're daft.
The man's dead.
No, no, no, no, no!
He lives as sure as the wind.
A what?
A Band-Aid?
Another form of human t*rture.
That looks pretty good.
Are you hungry?
You look starved.
The fire at your fingertips.
This ain't heaven.
I got some really neat stuff.
My name's Bobby.
What's yours?
Hey, Jim, you're
a very young lad
to be left all alone in a
gentleman's country house.
It's not Jim.
It's Bobby.
Aye, Jim, tell me
again, where we be.
We be?
Aye.
Where be we?
We be in Nebraska.
They call you--
Jack.
Captain Jezebel Jack.
- Here.
Pour milk on them
like this, Captain.
Aye, Jim, captain
of the Delilah,
the most feared lady
of the Caribbean.
Since 1713, she has carried off
more treasure from the Dutch,
from those confounded hounds,
the Spaniards, and even
good King George of reputation.
You're a pirate?
No.
Pirates are thieves and K*llers.
I am an adventurer
of independent means.
How did you get here?
The fingers of The Dark One
through me through the sky.
Gummy bears?
Oh, aye.
gummy bears.
You really think
you're a real pirate?
Adventurer.
Oh, yeah, an adventurer.
Jim, when will these
jellyfish let go of my teeth.
Dad?
Hi, honey.
Hi.
How's the shoulder?
Oh, it'll be OK.
Well, they're
supposed to take you
to x-ray in a couple minutes.
Has anybody been in
here to check on you?
Will you stop
making such a fuss?
I'm not making a fuss.
I think I'm going to go
try and call Bobby again.
Calm down, Glenna.
Bobby is used to spending
time with himself.
So
Might you know the whereabouts
of a nice noggin of rum,
brandy, spirits of that ilk.
The timbers that
hold this old ship
together rest assuredly
on its consumption.
Mom says drinking ain't
good for you and it's a sin.
Oh, it's a sin, is it?
Your mother doesn't
know what wicked is.
Wicked flops in the
foam aboard the Delilah.
OK, anything you say.
Arg!
Pull down the shutters, Jim.
There are them that have
no need of eying us.
OK, I'll shut the drapes.
You never know who might
shiver you in the back.
[monkey starts singing]
I think you better go now.
Say what?
I think you better go now.
My dad will be home soon.
Oh, aye.
Maybe so.
A gracious deed you
did, Jim, taking
in an old barnacled hull
such as I, cleaning me wounds
and tending to me nourishment.
A kind sort such as you deserves
the greatest of all gifts.
But I have only a small trinket
to give you for your kindness.
What is it?
A life saver, just
for you, my boy.
Wow!
A derringer, wow!
I can't believe it.
Is it real?
It's authenticity
can be testified to
by a gentleman name of Fergus.
This is so cool.
Well, I must be
shoving off now.
Hey, Captain.
Aye?
Want to watch
some TV together?
TV?
Aye.
TV.
- Mr. Thurston will see you now.
- Thank you.
I'll be right back.
Mr. Skinner, good to see you.
Good to see you too, sir.
Have you been working hard
at your craft these days?
Yes, sir.
A few obstacles here and there,
but nothing I can't handle.
Soon as we foreclose we'll be
able to turn that red section
right there into blue.
Yeah, Mr. Skinner,
and your bank account
will be a lot greener.
The auction
price would be very
favorable to the project, sir.
Yeah, yeah.
We should have been
pushing dirt by now,
I know, I know.
Just one more step.
All I have to do is
convinced the credit
manager that the Jennings
family can't pay their debt.
The bank is reluctant to throw
families off their farms.
Are you telling me there's
a chance this property won't
be auctioned?
- Oh, no, sir.
That is not what
I'm telling you.
As a matter of fact, that piece
of property is as good as gone.
You know, Jim, I've heard
tales of the little people
from rum drunkards at the Brac,
but it never come to my mind
that they would be in a box.
You've never seen TV before?
What's this here?
Jewels that would ransom a
queen from the unchurched.
That's the Home
Shopping Network.
That's where you
can buy anything.
How do you get into
this treasure chest, Jim?
Captain, Captain, it's
not a treasure chest.
Put it down!
It's a TV set.
It's got no lock, no lid.
What kind of treachery is this?
Stand and deliver.
Captain, no!
[g*nsh*t, sizzling]
[phone rings]
Wait, wait a minute.
Just stay cool, Captain.
Hello?
Bobby.
Hi, honey.
Are you OK?
Oh yeah, sure, Mom.
How's Grandpa?
Oh well, we're waiting
for the x-rays right now.
Was there any
damage to the house?
Nope, no damage.
That's good.
You're sure you're
OK there by yourself?
Oh, I'm not by myself.
I have a new friend.
He's a pirate.
Well, that's good, honey.
Just don't tear up
anything sword fighting.
Oh, we're not sword fighting.
We're just watching TV.
Oh, good.
OK, well, I'll be home
in a little while.
OK.
Bye, gotta go now.
Hey, Bobby.
I love you.
Don't worry about us.
Bye.
Captain, wait, wait.
Maybe he'll grow out of it.
I bought that shirt for
my Dad at the State Fair.
But he never wore it.
This was your father's shirt?
Where is he?
He left a long time ago.
Oh.
Went to sea, did he, Jim?
Not exactly.
He went to Milwaukee.
Oh, captured by the Milwaukee?
Those African tribes
are vicious, they are.
No, he went to Milwaukee.
Because, well, he didn't
want to live with me and Mom.
He said he'd never
leave, but he did.
Now, Jim, don't you fret none.
I myself have
suffered a great loss.
Did your dad leave you too?
Jim, you must
be on your guard,
because when a man
leaves his own blood kin,
those that are left behind
are apt to take up ways that--
that they will certainly regret.
Now, let's be
about our business.
Yeah, business.
What business is that?
Don't ask questions
of your captain.
Just say aye, aye, sir.
Say it.
Aye, aye, sir.
Good Lord.
This be the biggest silver
nugget I've ever seen.
That would be for sure, Jim.
What?
Oh that's tin foil.
See, it's used to
cover up stuff.
Tin foil, is it?
A fool's deception.
See it comes
right of the roll.
Now, you pounded this silver
thin as parchment, did you,
Jim?
No, it just comes like that.
See?
This isn't silver either.
It's chrome.
And where can we get more
of these chrome canisters?
At the store, I guess, along
with ice cream sandwiches.
You want an ice cream sandwich?
Aye, lad.
We'll board the Earl of
Sandwich's ship straight away.
Aye, aye, Captain, to
the Earl of Sandwich.
That coveted prize doesn't
stay at anchor forever.
Yeah!
Jim, lad, you bring
brightness into a dark heart.
That you do.
Hold on, Captain.
Yee-haw!
[giggling]
Yee-haw!
On, James, on!
This is it.
I'll get us the ice
cream sandwiches.
Stay here, Captain.
A Dutch East
Indies four master
would not carry such a prize.
Mr. Gray, me
and my friend want
to buy an ice cream sandwich.
Sure, Bobby, you know
where the freezer is.
Go on back.
Oh, yes.
[whistling]
Hey, Captain, you want a
Popsicle or an Eskimo pie?
Yes, sir, can I--
Stand and deliver.
Stand and deliver, I say.
Deliver?
Deliver what?
Oh, we can make
deliveries, no problem.
Captain, don't do this.
The silver, you
land livered scum.
Late it nye in the tilt.
Sir, we don't have silver.
Captain, you're going
to get us in trouble.
You want these?
Well, yes, are you deaf?
And the jewels.
I'll take the gold coins.
Captain, don't.
Jim, this one is simple.
They don't even carry a cutlass.
Mr. Gray, I noticed
that delinquent Jennings
child's motorcycle outside.
Stand and deliver!
What?
Oh!
Oh!
Stand and deliver, madam.
Stand?
Why, I beg your pardon.
I am a lady.
No, madam.
It's OK, Ms. Gateland,
he's just an adventurer.
The earrings.
Oh, dear.
Another time, wench, you and
I shall split a flask of rum.
Oh, my.
- Come on, Jim.
Grab the dog.
We'll eat it later.
Just hold on, Mr. Gray.
I'll bring that
stuff right back.
Now, Captain, I'm
going to have to bring
the stuff back to Mr. Gray.
What?
We captured it fair and square.
Mr. Gray is a friend of mine.
Oh, a friend is he?
A mate.
Come on, let me have it.
Me thinks you'd be
making a great mistake.
This was easy booty.
Captain, you don't want to
regret this later, do you?
Give it to me.
Captain, give it to me.
Thanks, Captain.
Pirates, you can't
take them anywhere.
Make him comfortable.
I'll be back to see him later.
Doctor, how is he?
He's going to be fine.
Thank goodness.
It's just a shoulder
fracture and at his age,
it's going to take
some time and therapy.
- Therapy.
- Yes.
I need to warn you.
Therapy can be expensive, so I
suggest you start the paperwork
with the insurance company now.
OK?
I'll speak to you later.
Thanks.
Insurance.
Oh, the look on Ms.
Gateland's face.
It was worth trouble
I'm going to get into.
It was great!
Stand and deliver.
[giggling]
(IN A HIGH VOICE)
I beg your pardon.
I'm a lady.
[giggling]
Sometimes the taunting of
a wench makes for good sport.
Stand and deliver.
What's this here?
It's sort of a treasure map.
Have you been
holding out on me, boy.
Huh, uh.
It's not what you think.
It's a map from a guy
you never heard of.
He wasn't a seafaring man, but
he certainly was an adventurer.
Nobody's never been
able to figure out all
these symbols and squiggles.
Well you see this?
This means a rise in the land.
And this means a buried stone.
How did you know that?
We adventurers have
a language all our own.
How you doing.
You got everything you need?
I've got more attendants
than the World Series.
Well, if you're sure
you're going to be OK,
I'd kind of like to
get back to the house.
Don't worry about me.
Go on.
I'm sure Bobby could use a
little company right about now.
See, right over
there's the rise.
And we're due east of the cut.
You have a good eye, my boy.
My grandpa hit a big rock
with the plow here somewhere.
Here it is, Captain,
the buried stone.
As it is on the map.
Turn it over.
The treasure is
130 paces that way.
How did you know that?
I know, adventurers have
a language of their own.
If there be true
treasure here, Jim.
We could be sharing as equals
in a king's ransom, we could.
We would be partners?
We would be mates.
Mates!
One, two, three--
Really, mates?
--six, seven, eight.
You may loose your cutlass on
my bare neck if it be not so.
12--
All right, mates!
Cool!
15.
Yeah, Jim, cool.
124, 125, 126,
127, 128, 129, 130.
You're still on 127.
You double counted.
My legs are longer than yours.
This be it, boy.
Now to find the
spine of Chermain.
Spine of Chermain?
Hey, what are you doing?
Stop.
This is my dad's shed.
Your dad will never know.
Jezebel Jack, lures
us into his black heart.
By all that is holy.
Save us from this demon!
You yellow livered swine.
Jack's had our booty too long.
He'll welcome his sons.
Hold tight, mates.
Secure that rigging, you swums.
This is no earthly curse.
Father, dearest to
my heart, save us!
[men screaming, wind blowing]
[crash]
[men screaming]
[creaking]
Get me down!
Help me.
Ah!
Behold.
The Spine of Chermain.
One, two, three,
four, five, six.
Is this it?
Dig.
How do you know?
The x on the map.
Dig.
Go on.
Let me help you, my friend.
I hope you are not hurt
Hey, are you
seamen still alive?
We're broken but we breathe.
Uh, Captain.
I'm tired of playing
treasure hunt.
Let's outside and
play walk the plank.
I assure you, that game
is no fun at all, Jim.
Dig on.
Dig on.
[thuds]
I found something, Captain.
I really found something.
You did?
Yeah, yeah, it's right here.
It's iron, is it, Jim?
It's the right size?
Step aside, boy.
This is man's work.
It's a field.
That's all.
It be a field.
Look.
There's a house in the field.
That house contains demons.
It sits in an in
the Sea of Sargasos.
Such a gob wit.
You chew too much ginko weed.
It's a bloody field.
That's all.
Look, dirt, grass.
A bunny rabbit.
A bunny rabbit.
Shut up!
Right, Murzol, over the sides.
Have a walk around.
Oh, no.
It'll swallow us up
like that quicksand that
surrounds the Mayan temple.
Oh, don't be a fool, Murzol.
If you're so sure, you go.
Aye, you go.
Me?
Uh, huh.
If
I go over the edge
and something happens
to me, who will be captain?
Satan, for he is here.
That's exactly the
kind of negative talk
that got us here
in the first place.
Yeah!
I knew it!
I knew it!
This ain't that
chrome mental, is it?
Nope.
That's old silver, all right.
It was stolen off the
train by Jesse James
and buried right here.
Well, he aren't
getting any of it back.
It's mine now, every
sweet silver bar of it.
Now, you aren't about
to tell this Jesse
fellow what we found, are you?
He's dead.
Clubbed him, did you?
Good lad.
No, he was shot by Mr. Ford.
So, it's just you and me then.
Mate.
The problem is I don't see
any way that Glenn Jennings can
possibly pay any interest
on this note, let
alone the principle.
We're carrying her.
Theo, I don't know why you're
so insistent that we take
action on the Jennings farm.
We would only have to
auction the property off.
Look, Bob.
I'm only worried about
you and the bank.
If the regulators knew about
the history of this loan,
and now that Raymond
Jennings is in the hospital.
Look, I just don't see
any way that there's going
to be a happy ending to this.
That be him, it is.
And that slime of a squid's
belly has the treasure as well.
He must have made a pact
with the devil to live so long.
He is the devil.
Don't you start now.
Now, Jim, we need to
find a really good hiding
place for my treasure,
for our treasure.
There be many a greedy
lot out there who
would want to lift it from us.
We can load it in
the four wheeler cart.
Four wheeler?
Trust me.
Well, that I do, Jim.
Now, Jim, how can I trust you
if you don't hold up your end?
Hey, Captain, look at that!
That's a pirate ship.
Blast!
That scum will follow
me to my grave.
Come on, lad.
We'll need to prepare
for the battle.
That's a real pirate ship, a
pirate, a really real pirate.
Adventurer.
Come on.
Mr. Ruse, prepare
battle stations.
Battle stations?
Yes, Mr. Ruse.
We're going to fire
on that cursed house.
With our cannons?
Yes, with our cannons.
[inaudible]
Lock and load!
Be warned.
Do not bring harm to a chief.
I'm bloody tired of
being double crossed
by that seaweed scoundrel.
We're going to blast
that house into the sand,
collect our treasure,
and be seeing
what's left of the bodies.
The captain has a habit
of surviving such campaigns.
Then he will feel
the scrape of my blade
on his gnarly throat.
Why don't you take a rest
and find a happy place?
Happy place.
Happy place.
Happy place.
Behold the Delilah, her sides
a repetition of cannon menace.
She'll soon deliver ball and
shot through this flimsy frame.
We're going to send in
our Air Force to retaliate.
Air Force, you say, Jim.
It'll take more than wind
to stop these black dogs.
They've been under me own
tutelage for three years past.
She'll be squandering
her ba*ls soon.
You know, Captain,
if something happens
to either one of us,
I want you to know
that you're my best friend.
Well now you be talking
with devils in your head.
I'm an old seafaring man,
with no friends at all.
It's not for one such as I.
Nevertheless, by my honor,
I will stick by you when
those mutineers come for you.
And I by you, with no regrets.
Really?
You'll stay here
and Never leave?
Till the sun bleaches
my bones white.
All right, stand easy.
Jim, she's about to
loose her cannons parade.
Fire!
[explosions]
The house!
Hit the house.
It's the biggest
thing in the field.
Oh.
See I told you.
[inaudible]
[explosions]
Fire!
Stop!
That's more like it, ladies.
Mr. Murzol, reload.
Reload, lads.
Prepare another round.
How do you like
that, Jackie boy?
On the edge, double breach.
Go on, go on, hurry.
Smoke him out.
Fire!
Lost all sense of direction.
They fall apart without
proper leadership.
[moaning]
Captain.
Captain, are you
all right, Captain.
All right.
You would imagine
I would have taught
those wags to sh**t better.
Don't worry, Captain.
We have not yet begun to fight.
Quite profound, Jim.
Quite.
One more volley,
mates, and we burn
her to the sand she sits on.
When I tell you to,
throw it out the window.
You'll not have to
encourage me to do that.
Ready?
Ready.
[buzzing]
A flying fire.
The boy must be possessed.
Or sent my the Author himself.
'Tis a wooden seagull.
sh**t it down
with the pistols.
Surely, one of
the evil spirits.
Seeks you out, DeGroot.
Reload and fire, Mr. Ruse.
No.
Pull it down, you swabs, before
she catches the main mast.
Tear it down.
Coming down, sir.
Suey!
Put it out!
You heard him.
Put it out.
You heard him.
I did.
You'll burn me ship.
Yeah!
[laughing]
Oh, Jim, you be a
clever skink of a lad.
Look at the deck.
She leaps with flames and fury.
Come on!
Move it!
Bring the water!
Hey, I'm here.
I'll move it right now, OK?
Come on, give me a break.
I had to take my
father to the hospital.
Yeah, I heard it all before.
Have a nice day.
It's a Nor'easter.
This may be the smile of fate.
Mr. Murzol!
Captain.
Get the weather
topgallant, standing sail.
Get Get the weather
topgallant, standing sail.
All taut, rig out.
All taut rig out.
Secure the mizzen.
Pull tight [inaudible] aloft.
Secure the mizzen.
Pull tight and
[inaudible] aloft.
What do you
think you're doing?
Sailing, Mr. Ruse.
Sailing.
[men yelling]
It's starting
to move, Captain.
[inaudible] Hold tight,
lads, and steady as she goes.
An extra share of
treasure for the man who
lifts the hair of Jezebel Jack.
Yea!
[inaudible]
She sails.
We're under way, Captain.
Shall I rig her in?
- Carry forward.
Lower standing sails, and
swing her towards the house.
We'll board her and rid the
world of Jezebel Jack forever.
Are you certain this sword
will find the wags off.
It's too short.
Trust me, just pull the cord.
Cord?
Captain, look.
They're going the other way.
She be off course a mite.
She's a lost honey
without her old captain.
We won't be needing
this stuff anymore.
Bring her about, Mr. Ruse.
[inaudible]
Don't be too hasty, Jim.
She's coming about, I see.
prepare yourself for
the battle of your life.
What?
Bring her alongside, Mr. Ruse.
Mind your spirit.
Ramming speed!
Ramming speed.
Stand firm, Jim.
Boy, Mom's going to be mad.
I said, bring her alongside.
You said ramming speed.
It's a figure of speech.
Attack!
Attack!
[roaring]
[clanking of swords]
[sh**ting noises]
Come on then.
Ah!
[scream]
Ah!
Nice try, Jack.
You confounded dogs.
I'll be the talk of the
seven seas with Jezebel Jack
ears pinned to me
belt. Which limb do
you want to lose first, Jack?
[chain saw buzz]
Now, who was it
bragging about me ears?
I'd rather pass on me ears.
T'weren't me, Captain.
T'were him, Captain.
I've only ever had the best
things to say for you, Captain.
And how will you
speak without your head?
Ah!
[chaotic yelling]
[humming]
Ms. Yates, I'll
be out for a while.
Where can we find you, sir?
Well, I have the
unfortunate task
of delivering the repossession
papers to the Jennings farm.
Oh that's too bad.
They're such nice people.
These things happen sometimes.
[humming]
[chaotic shouting]
All right!
Child, you have
been menace enough.
Thanks, Captain.
Quite the armory
you got here, Jim.
Captain, duck!
Ah, ha!
I like this game.
Come on.
Move [inaudible], mates.
Now we've got him.
Ah!
Beat that.
Watch this.
Ah!
Beginners luck.
[men yelling]
Bobby!
[screaming]
Where is he?
Here.
I'm gonna rip his
little head off.
Stand back or I'll
cut you to ribbons.
With what, laddie?
I see no blades.
It's just a stick with a
noise on the end of it.
It's your last stand, hey?
[laughing]
I'm warning you, stand back.
Get him.
Ah!
[yelling]
Get him!
Get him!
Get him!
Captain, help!
I need reinforcements!
You're mine now,
you little land rat.
[sniff]
Oh!
[crack]
Oh!
Get him!
Get him!
Get him!
Get him!
Get him!
Get him!
Stop!
Cannon fire.
[bam]
Ow!
Get him!
Captain, help me.
I'm surrounded.
[pounding]
I'll get you for
what you did to me.
[pounding]
Open this door, you worm.
[pounding]
[crash]
Stand down or I'll sh**t.
Give me the g*n, boy.
Stand back, I'm warning you.
Give him the g*n.
Now, you won't be
sh**ting ne'er a one of us.
Captain.
Help!
I wouldn't be putting my
faith in the likes of him.
Give me the g*n.
Captain, I'm in the bedroom.
[laughing]
[motor running]
Captain.
Expecting the captain
is a fruitless effort,
I can assure you, my lad.
[sobbing]
You left.
You promised.
Suey, fetch your
skinning knife.
Now you'll be telling
us, boy, where Jack
be going with our treasure.
Or Suey here will
skin you alive.
I don't know.
Of course he knows.
He's in with Jack,
partner in the treasure.
I don't know where Jack went.
He left me.
He's covering up for him.
Ye seen how clenched
he and Jack was.
They fought hand
in hand against us.
That's enough.
You'll muddle me head.
Now, you be telling us, boy.
Because I'm losing
patience with you.
Where is he?
I told you, I don't know.
Bring her out.
Bobby!
Mom!
Mrs. Jennings,
I'm afraid I have
some terrible news for you.
You're not going to be
able to keep your house.
[laughing]
Because it's mine.
That's the problem
with all this machinery.
The Great Author never intended
man to ride bit of iron
twisted around cart wheels.
Hey, you there.
You almost k*lled me back
here, do you know that?
You people need to
stay where you belong.
You, where'd you get
that motorbike thing?
Did you steal that?
Yeah.
I stole it.
And what business
is it of thine?
It's none of my business.
I just thought, I thought
you might want to sell it.
You know what?
I've got cash over here.
Stop.
Wait!
Look, I know where there's
something you might like.
I know where there's a
woman alone, you know,
I could show you.
Alone?
Yes, no.
No, there's a little boy there.
Little fart.
Crazy .
But he won't be a problem.
We can get rid of the kid.
A lad, about eight or nine?
Yeah, that's the one.
Look, I'll make you a deal.
I'm a banker.
I'm here to take their house.
When I do, you can
have everything in it.
You can have the TVs, the
microwaves, everything.
I'll show you.
The house with the boy in it?
Look, we'll do
away with the boy.
We'll be partners.
Partners, hey?
Mates?
Yeah, mates, whatever you say.
Cut her where it won't show.
We don't want damaged goods
on the sl*ve market in Aruba,
do we?
Don't you dare touch me.
Oh.
She's soft.
Be no good by the time
we get there anyway.
I'll take her now.
Leave her alone!
Bobby, stop.
Or you'll what?
Hey?
Seems to me you're
in no position
to be threatening anybody.
Leave him alone.
I'll do whatever you want.
Maybe, if I carve up
your pretty, pretty mom,
it'll loosen your tongue.
Now, you tell me
where is Jezebel Jack?
Right here, you scurvy-ridden
whale [inaudible].
Jack.
Can you see him over there?
He came back!
Who came back?
It is Jack.
Jezebel.
What is that with him?
Well, well, looky here
what the tide washed up.
Let the boy and his
mother go, DeGroot.
Why should I?
Because I have
the whole treasure,
50 gleaming bars of silver.
Had a change of heart,
did we, Jackie boy?
You might say that.
I peered into the looking glass.
And what did you see?
The devil?
Aye, regretfully so.
What are we waiting for?
Let's k*ll him and
take the treasure now.
You think you're cursed now?
Try sh**ting a
captain, and you will
gnash your teeth in the
molten fires of hell for sure.
He speaks the truth.
What?
Don't trust him, DeGroot.
Aye, Jackie boy,
we be making a trade.
But we'll not be taking
the silver alone.
You, Jezebel Jack, must be
in the company of the chest
with us, on board the Delilah.
Yeah.
I didn't reckon you was
so fond of your old captain.
Enough of your talk, Jack.
Hook the treasure to the wench.
First, show me the goods
for which I am bargaining.
Bring them over.
Bring the wench.
Captain, you came back.
Aye, Jim.
Are you harmed, Jim?
Jim, who's Jim?
That's me, Mom.
Huh?
It's a long story.
I'm OK, Captain.
And you must be
his sainted mother.
Madam.
Tell that scum to let you
down real gentle like.
And I will ascend like an
angel with just a small portion
of heaven's paving bricks.
You had best be square
with us, Jackie boy.
You're going to
regret this, DeGroot.
You have your silver, DeGroot.
And you have me to make sure.
What else could you want?
You have it all.
Heave h*.
Get that treasure
on board, lads.
Step lively.
They'll take the silver
and k*ll you, Jack.
Don't you worry none.
Your old captain has a life
boat waiting with his Creator
in the sea of eternity.
We adventurers have a
language all our own.
But Captain.
Have you got them yet?
Welcome aboard, mate.
The Devil
[inaudible] the terms.
Hold on, lads.
We're about to sail
the skies again.
Jack's gone forever.
Bobby, you want to
tell me about Jack?
(TEARFULLY) We're adventurers,
Mom, with a language
all our own.
I'm really gonna miss him.
With a language all our own.
I know.
I know.
Come on, Mom.
I know.
Bobby?
I ought to finish you
off right now, Jackie boy.
You have your
treasure, DeGroot.
You'll not be wanting to call
down the curses on your head
for the sole purpose of revenge.
Leave him be.
Let's split the treasure
now before anything else
goes amiss.
Suey, haul it to, mates.
Finally, our rightful purchase.
Bobby, where are you going?
I knew it.
It's the silver.
Aye, the silver.
Sorry, Jackie boy.
Looks like there's just not
enough booty to go around.
Oh, well, ye
shall have my share.
You and the lads deserve it.
[laughing]
Don't thank me now.
Come on, lads, get
your rightful dividend.
What is this?
It's a trick.
You never give up,
do you, Captain Jack?
Lynch him.
My old mate, DeGroot.
Witness that Jezebel Jack
is still your captain.
Stand all.
I'll save you the trouble,
you have mutinous dogs.
May you all hang at
London's bloody Tower,
cut by the hand of
good King George,
whilst I go to a better place.
Now, there are no regrets.
Oh.
Our treasure!
Jack!
I can't believe it.
This is the wildest story.
Did you hear that?
Hear what?
Yuck.
Well, I ain't in heaven
and I ain't in hell.
I'm must be in Nebraska.
[laughing]
It's him.
It's him.
Come on, Mom, it's him.
It's who?
[laughing]
Jack!
Jack!
You came back.
Jack!
Come on.
Come on.
[music playing]
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Pirates of the Plain (1999)
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