Girl: wind. There's
nothing else like it.
Pulling you across the water
like you're flying.
It's totally...
Well, extreme.
That's me--
Megan larson.
Your fairly average
teenage girl.
And that's cutter.
There's nothing even
remotely average about him.
Over here, megan!
That was sick, megan.
You flatly rule.
Thanks, cutter.
Be my girlfriend?
Um, ok.
Mom, dad!
Dad and I have decided
To get back together,
megan.
And I'm never
gonna act
Like a little freak
again.
Cool.
Megan, as the most
popular girl in school,
I, heather hartman,
Hereby welcome you
into the popular group.
You rock!
Yes!
Megan, yay!
Megan: dear diary,
If only life
were like my dream
Die, alien, die!
Trevor, not now.
Trev!
I'm just saying,
You can't be
a men in black, trev.
Why not?
Because you're only
one person.
I want to be
a men in black.
I want to
get jiggy wid it.
Fine. Whatever.
Plus, I'm gonna be
a mailman.
Why not mailmen?
Dad we don't
see much anymore.
He's always busy,
it seems like.
Sometimes I can barely even
remember a time
When we were all together.
But then I always do.
Kathy:
ok, grab your stuff.
Roky, come on.
Trevor.
Ok, we're off.
Fun in the sun.
[Cell phone rings]
[Ring]
Uh, let me get this.
[Ring]
Just a sec.
Hello, fred larson.
Yeah, no, no.
Come on. Let's go.
No, that's fine.
No. If you can just
get rid of them...
[Screaming]
Give it back,
megan.
Whoo!
Dad, come on!
I got it in the car.
Just bear with me
one second
While I just--
Give me just
one second, here.
Just got
the book here...
Fred: if you
have any problems,
just give me a call.
No, give me a call
anytime.
Ok, then.
Great talking to you.
Take care.
Ok, then, bye.
Well, diary,
if you're wondering
Why my folks split up,
There you have it,
I guess.
And then there's mom.
Probably the only person
on the planet
Who loves windsurfing
as much as I do.
She's definitely not
your typical mom.
Crackers?
Cool,
I love crackers.
So do i, but not
for breakfast.
Is that it?
Don't be silly, megan.
What kind of mother gives
her kids just crackers
Without soup.
Mom, you can't have
soup for breakfast.
Why not, megan?
Soup is good food.
Roky likes soup
for breakfast, don't you?
Roky's a dog.
He drinks
from the toilet.
Ok, let's see what else
I can make you, meg.
Uh, ah!
I can make a wonderful
tuna sandwich.
Ok, I don't want you
to get the wrong idea.
Mom's not usually
this bizarre.
It's just
ever since dad left,
She's been
a little distracted.
And, I mean,
if you think about it,
Our life is really cool
in lots of ways.
Oh!
I knew I forgot
something!
In the tent! In the tent!
Maybe mom's lonely.
But then, she's had
a couple of dates.
Hyah! Oh! Ya! Ya!
Hoah! Hyah!
Ya! Yo! Yo!
Yaaa! Ya!
Unh!
Is he always
so enthusiastic?
That's nothing.
The last guy
my mom dated
Is still
in a body cast.
Body cast?
They say he'll make
a full recovery,
But I have
my doubts.
Ok, I'm not in
the popular group, diary.
I should tell you
that right now.
I mean, well, I was
in it for a week last year.
They thought I was related
to jewel or something.
Well, actually,
I--i kind of told them
that I was,
But when heather hartman
found out that I wasn't,
Oh, it was bad.
You're not
jewel's cousin, megan.
Well, I have a cousin
Who sort of
looks like jewel,
And she sings
pretty well.
You can't sit
at our table anymore.
I'm telling you,
Retractable claws
would be totally cool.
That would be lame,
mikey.
What about x-ray vision?
Shape-shifting.
That'd be fresh.
The truth is,
though, diary,
I really only want
to be in the popular group
For one reason.
Cutter coburn
Is the most extreme kid
in high school.
Last year he skated down
an entire mountain.
[Grunting]
Well, he fell,
mostly,
But it was still
totally rad.
So does anyone
know the answer?
Cutter?
Cutter?
Mr. Singh?
Do you know the answer?
Mr. Singh,
I don't even know what
the question is.
For a long time,
I don't think cutter
even knew I existed,
But then he started
windsurfing
And coming
to mom's store...
Man, you should
have seen the air
I was getting yesterday.
It was nukin'
like big time.
I was hitting
ramp after ramp, dude.
Uh, hey.
Oh, hey.
I remember you
from school.
What's your name again?
Corgan? Vegan?
Fagan?
Megan.
Megan.
Uh, hey, do you
think I could have
some of those chips?
Yeah, go ahead.
Oh, man, these rule.
What are they?
Barbecue.
I mean, sour cream--
Sour cream
and onion.
Windsurfing's cool,
like, you know, because...
There's wind, right?
And then also,
you're surfing,
So you're, like,
windsurfing.
I never thought of it
that way.
Well, uh,
thanks for the chips,
Um, megan.
I'll see you on the water.
I like your hair.
Oh, thanks.
It's bleached.
I know.
But that's all
ancient history now, diary,
Because
everything's changed.
What do you mean,
you met a guy?
His name is cosmo.
Cosmo cola.
He sounds like
an alien from space.
Is he, mom?
Not that I've noticed, trev.
Wait a minute.
Where did you meet
this guy, mom?
Uh, it's very silly.
I was windsurfing...
Hey! Wha--hey!
It was ridiculous,
But it was
really great, too.
Meg, he wanted
to rescue me
From the waves.
Mom, you weren't
drowning.
Sure, but that's
not the point.
He was willing to.
I have a very bad feeling.
We started talking,
and we just clicked.
Are you all right?
I saw you
being blown about
by the wind.
I'm windsurfing.
I'm cos.
Nice to meet you.
We talked for hours,
I guess, I mean...
He has this
childlike quality
That I find
so refreshing.
Candy?
Oh, sure.
Ok, where's this
cosmo cola from.
Canada. The yukon,
of all places.
[Wolf howls]
Mom, no one
lives in the yukon.
It's, like, deserted.
It's a m*ssile range
or something.
Well, he and his
daughter live there.
His daughter?
Ariel. She's 14,
too, meg.
Isn't that great?
Possibly.
Meg.
Do I look
like a geek?
Ok, bye.
I'll be home soon.
♪ She's got mystery ♪
♪ There's a secret
in her eyes ♪
♪ She's my
soul satisfier ♪
♪ She's my sweetie pie ♪
♪ Free my frozen heart ♪
♪ Free my frozen heart ♪
♪ What a rush ♪
Hey.
Mom.
Why won't you let anyone
listen to your music?
Because.
Well, at least you
have a good reason.
So, tonight's
the big night, huh?
Everybody's
finally gonna meet.
Aren't you excited?
Don't I look excited?
Come on, you.
Help me clean up.
I was going
to be ambitious
And cook
a whole chicken,
But since cos
really likes hot dogs...
A gourmet, huh?
Megan, be nice.
I am always nice.
New people aren't always
so bad, you know.
I mean, sometimes change
can be a good thing
if you welcome it.
Ugh!
You're not gonna call me
grasshopper now, are you?
Where did you get
such a sharp tongue?
You should hear
all the things I think
And don't say.
Honey, I got to say,
It would mean
a whole lot to me
If you would
at least try.
Cosmo makes me
really happy,
you know, meg?
And maybe
you'll like him, too,
If you give him
a chance.
You know what, mom,
you're right.
I'll try. I really--
I really will.
Thanks, sweetie.
And maybe I'll think
That he and ariel
are great.
If you like them,
Then they must be great,
right?
Of course you also like
lord of the dance,
But we won't go there.
[Doorbell rings]
That'll be them.
You want to get
the door, meg?
Sure.
It's gonna be great.
It's gonna be great.
It's gonna be great.
Please be great.
Megan larson!
Megan larson!
Mom!
You have no idea
how happy I am
To finally meet you.
Are you cosmo?
You should be
on a game show, megan.
I like hollywood squares,
myself.
Whoopi for the block!
It was worse than I could
have possibly imagined,
diary.
[Toy g*n beeps]
Are you a good alien...
Or a bad alien?
Good, mostly,
But sometimes bad.
Like now. Aah!
Whoa!
Ah, what's this?
[Dog whines]
I love dogs.
Such tiny brains
In such large,
powerful bodies.
Cosmo.
Kathy!
I'm so happy
to see you.
Me, too.
Ah, I have gas--
Uh, I mean, root beer.
These are for you.
Thank you, cosmo.
Uh, where's ariel?
Uh, she's out
in the car.
She doesn't like
the wind.
[Megan laughs]
She doesn't like the wind?
Actually, wind can be
very frightening
If you don't
understand it.
If you're an alien,
The wind can just
blow you away.
Exactly. Right.
Of course,
wind can also be
A wonderful way
of meeting people.
Uh, you want to go
help her in, huh, meg?
Mom!
Megan.
Ok.
Hello?
Ariel, hello?
[Pebbles crunch]
What are you doing
under there?
I fear the wind.
Oh.
Ariel: dear diary,
I cannot make sense
Of this strange planet
called earth.
Every time I look
at this horrid vehicle--
The rubbery flesh,
The flat face,
The ghastly yellow hair
That grows out
of this hideous skull--
I can only think...
I am grotesque.
The same dream comes to me
most every night.
I am back on my home planet
of zircalon.
I am, once again,
A beautiful pink
ball of gas,
Floating next
to my beloved fanul.
Oh, fine, handsome,
Intelligent fanul.
How I miss
floating with you.
I miss my true self,
My essence.
How I long to be
Zuezav of zircalon
once again.
And mother and father
are there as well,
Floating by my side.
Oh, the joy...
The rapture...
The bliss.
I knew that we were
going to have to leave
zircalon, diary.
I knew that daddy's life
was in danger
Because he was
a freedom fighter.
I knew, as well,
That s'vad was
a repressive emperor,
And that we were not
completely free on zircalon.
Still, I never expected
to have to leave
So suddenly, diary.
It all happened
so incredibly fast.
And in that
one brief moment,
My mother was lost
forever...
[Pop]
Now just a part
of the great cosmic gas.
Strangely, diary,
With all its horrors
and bizarre customs,
Earth seems to posses
a wonderful abundance
Of the one substance
we zircalonians
Need to survive...
The element known
as co2.
[Alien voice]
at least I still have gas.
Monstrosity.
I became desperate, diary.
Desperate for any help
In navigating this strange
and frightening place.
That is when I turned
to our neighbor,
The spiritual guide,
serena soo.
[Cats meow]
Off, gandhi.
Away, picasso.
Ariel, I know
what troubles you.
You do?
In the month since you
and your charming father
have moved in,
I've perceived
that you are different.
Yes.
You don't feel
that you belong here.
No.
And in this
you are correct.
You have lived
Many, many times
before, ariel.
Most recently
you were a cowhand
On a large ranch
in montana.
You were crushed
by a cow.
You have not yet
psychically recovered
from this.
Do you feel the truth
of what I'm telling you?
Don't speak.
I am a psychic.
I already know
what you are thinking.
[Fly buzzes]
I can see
very clearly exact--
[Coughing]
I tried to tell serena soo
About the flying insect,
diary,
But, of course,
she could not read my mind.
She is a ridiculous
and pathetic person.
But she at least possesses
A somewhat gaseous manner.
But what does any of it
matter now, diary?
Now that dreariness
and dread
Have so utterly engulfed
my life.
There.
What do you think?
I hate it here, daddy.
Everything here
is so ugly
And solid and heavy.
I know it's hard, ariel.
I miss our home, too.
There was truly nothing
Like a great day
of floating--
Expanding in the heat...
Contracting
when it cools off.
Why can't we just
go back, then?
We'd be near mommy.
Mommy has, uh...
Thinned out
a little, ariel.
Besides, I'd be
imprisoned forever
In a frozen cube.
We came here to escape,
to be free.
Free to be hideous.
Oh, life on earth
Is full of wondrous
possibilities, ariel.
One can do or be
whatever one wants here.
Look.
This is a dummy.
An artificial human
That one
can speak through.
[Dummy voice]
hello, ariel.
[Normal voice]
how can one
not love a world
In which such a thing
exists?
You are completely
imbalanced, daddy.
And these names
you have given us:
Ariel and cosmo cola.
Ridiculous, pathetic.
And these earthlings--
they pay money
For these worthless solids
we brought with us.
They're
quite valuable here.
I miss fanul
so terribly, daddy.
Please, may I
communicate with him?
He would not betray me.
I know that he would not.
Fanul is the son
of the emperor s'vad.
You are my daughter.
It is not possible.
But, daddy--
I'm sorry, ariel.
Ahh.
[Alien voice] look what
a beautiful day it is,
ariel.
[Normal voice]
being solid is
invigorating.
Ahh!
Life on earth
is fun, ariel.
I only hope someday
you'll feel the same.
What could be
less fun than this?
I want my boyfriend
back, daddy.
I want to see fanul,
and I want to go h*--
The wind. The wind!
It can't hurt us,
ariel. It--
I'm coming apart.
I'm really coming apart.
We fear the wind.
[Water sloshing]
Fanul, fanul,
Why must you be
the son of the emperor,
And I the freedom fighter's
daughter?
We're just like
the tragic story
Of glaba and grokno,
The 2 star-crossed
bubbles.
But we will
meet again, fanul,
For I will
come home to you.
[Coughing]
Until I do,
I must try to hold on
to the beauty and majesty
Of my zircalonian heritage.
Perhaps that
will keep me going.
♪ Zircalon, zircalon ♪
♪ Bubbles dance
'cross the moon ♪
♪ Zircalon, zircalon ♪
♪ Make us free,
will you soon? ♪
The wind was
blowing her about, ariel.
I knew I had to save her,
So I jumped in,
But when I reached her,
She wasn't
frightened at all.
I saw you being
blown about by the wind.
I'm windsurfing.
She's the most
remarkable creature.
Kathy larson?
The most--
[Alien voice]
lovely, intelligent...
[Normal voice]
wonderful human
on the planet, ariel.
But it's unthinkable.
Mommy.
Your mother was
an extraordinary bubble,
ariel.
And I will never
forget her.
We had many wonderful
memories together,
And I will always
cherish those memories.
Just as I will always
Cherish seeing
your mother in you.
But we live here now.
And I think we need
to make a life here.
We're humans now, ariel.
We need to live
with other humans.
I don't think mommy
would want us
To be alone and unhappy.
Do you?
Tonight's the night,
ariel.
We visit kathy
and her children
At their home.
You're going to have
a wonderful time.
I guarantee it.
But I didn't have
a wonderful time, diary.
In fact, the evening
was a hideous t*rture
Right from the very start.
I fear the wind.
Ok.
Well, it's
pretty much stopped,
So, like, you want
to come out?
No, no. Oh, no!
Oh, no! I'm...
[Ruff ruff]
[Ruff]
Don't threaten me,
monster.
He's just barking.
Silence, beast.
[Whimpers]
Your voice is loud
and vulgar.
[Toy g*n beeps]
You're an alien, too,
aren't you?
[Breathes heavily]
I need water.
Is she all right,
cos?
She's just nervous.
Can you go
and check on her, meg?
Sure. Why not?
[Water running]
[Sink turns off]
Ariel, are you ok?
You're all wet.
I fell in the sink.
In the sink?
Do you want
to dry off?
Your room is
hideously cluttered.
Thank you.
You can wear these.
They're far too large.
You can wear hers
If you think that they
would fit you better.
I will endure those.
Did you just drink
that whole bottle?
[Alien voice] no.
Yes, you did.
Why is your voice
like that?
Are you trying to be
funny or something?
Yes, I'm trying
to be funny.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha...ha. Ahem.
[Normal voice]
I am funny.
You're freaking me out.
[Hair dryer starts]
here, use this.
Stop the wind.
Stop the wind!
[Hair dryer stops]
you are incredibly neurotic
About your hair,
you know that?
Everything ok back here?
Everything is very ok,
kathy larson, thank you.
Great. Dinner's ready
She seems nice,
doesn't she?
I'll take the fifth.
I love food.
Me, too!
Don't you like
hot dogs, ariel?
I do not like food.
Nothing?
Grilled cheese...
P.b. And j...
Pasta?
Food is messy.
Yeah, mom, um, ariel's on
that new root beer diet.
At that moment, diary,
I knew that the creature
called megan larson
Was to be feared
and despised.
At least I was
prepared for her now.
What happened next,
however,
Was a shocking
and ghastly surprise.
Cosmo: kids.
Kathy and I have something
we'd like to tell you.
Megan...trev...
Ariel...
Cosmo and I know
we both come from
very different worlds.
And that we haven't
known each other
For very long.
And, well,
you can also understand
That, well,
this dinner hasn't gone
Exactly as smoothly
As we would
have all liked.
But when 2 beings--
Uh, people
feel about each other
The way we do...
Well, we just have
to follow our hearts,
And even though
this might seem
really sudden...
Congratulate us, kids.
We're engaged.
Do you want
to say anything, megan?
I was speechless
when mom asked me that,
But, diary,
I definitely wasn't
speechless later.
Mother, he is
the freak of all time.
Oh, megan.
He is.
He's loud and bizarre,
and he dresses weird.
It's like he's some
insane clown
Or something.
I like him.
I'm pretty sure
he's an alien,
But I think
he's a good one.
He can share my room
if he wants.
He's not gonna be
your new playmate, trev.
He's gonna be
your new father.
Stepfather, megan,
And ariel will be
your stepsister.
Let's not even go there.
Ariel's nice.
She's whacked,
mother!
I fell in the sink?!
Well, maybe she meant
the bath.
Oh, and that thing
with the hair dryer.
What was that?
I think she's pretty.
Yeah, well,
you're 7, trev.
You don't know
anything.
Oh, and the affected way
she talks.
[Mocking]
oh, horror! Oh, misery!
It's like she's
in some bad play.
I think
you're being silly.
No, no, no,
I think I'm being smart.
Mom, you're being silly.
Meg, I would never
marry anyone
That you absolutely hated,
But I got to tell you,
Cos and I are
very happy together.
I think this might be
the real thing,
So I wish you'd at least
give him a chance,
And try to get along
with ariel, too.
Mom, I tried.
She is scary.
Well, I hear
she likes to sing.
Maybe you could
make music together.
Fine. Forget that.
Ariel's in
a new place, megan.
She's a long way
from home--
Millions of light years,
probably.
Trev! Uh-uh.
She lost her mom
a few years back,
Did you know that?
She did?
So far from home,
She hasn't had it easy.
Give her a break,
huh, meg?
Great.
She starts school
with you tomorrow.
Didn't you have bikes
in the yukon?
Of course. I am simply
out of practice.
Crowd: oh!
Megan: dear diary,
can you spell "mortifying?"
I just knew what
everybody was thinking:
"Who's that dweeb with megan?
Is that megan's friend?
And if so,
megan must be a dweeb, too."
But then
the weirdest thing happened.
Can't you make yourself
turn invisible?
Possibly.
Should I try?
Too late.
Hey, guys.
Hey, megan.
Who's your friend?
Um, this is ariel.
She's not really
my friend.
How do you guys
know each other?
Through our parents.
Ariel's from the yukon.
Oh, the yukon.
Cool!
So, like, ariel,
Do you like skiing?
I like bubbles,
and I like gas,
And I am calmed
by water.
Matt: cool.
Can't argue
with any of those.
I don't get this.
[Bell rings]
Hello, it's 'cause
she's gorgeous.
She is not!
Just because
you don't want her to be
Doesn't mean
she isn't, megan.
I'd hate to have her
for a stepsister.
You must feel so inferior.
Inferior? To her?
She's a total psycho!
She can't
even ride a bike
with training wheels.
Maybe she doesn't want to.
Maybe she's being subversive.
Mikey, she fell
on her face.
How is that
being subversive?
The way she dresses.
It's so original,
so fresh.
That is not original.
My aunt ina's been
dressing like that
for years.
And I'll tell you
one thing.
Cutter won't think
she's cool.
Cutter thinks I'm cool.
Megan, as your friend,
that's really pathetic.
I'm gonna go talk to her.
Why?
I think she might be,
like, a visionary.
So, ariel, how come
you wear so many layers?
I'm trying
to protect my essence.
That's intense!
I can't believe this!
Matt: ...essences
unprotected sometimes.
[Bell rings]
And what is the volume
of the swimming pool?
Mr. Singh: megan?
Huh?
The volume of the pool.
Oh, uh...
Medium?
Can anyone else
answer the question?
Ariel.
I assume that you
wish me to visualize
The trapezoidal side
of the pool as the base,
mr. Singh?
Uh...
I assume also that
The depth of the pool
is to be measured in meters
And the fluid volume to be
measured in kiloliters.
Well...
Assuming that
these things are the case,
And the water temperature
Is no higher than
Then the answer
is 13.34 kiloliters.
Mr. Singh:
that is correct.
Ariel is the full-on
good will hunting.
I hear her iq
is, like, 300.
I hear she dated
prince william.
Well, I hear
she tutored bill gates.
They don't understand,
michelle.
Ariel is not
any of those things.
She's like...
An alien
from another planet.
Yeah,
from the planet rad.
No,
from the planet weird.
She fears wind,
michelle.
Well, wind is scary...
In a way.
I cannot believe
you just said that.
Unbelievable!
Her first day,
And she's already
sitting at the popular table.
Heather: megan!
Megan!
Heather hartman's
calling you.
Go.
Go!
I love the way you protect
your essence, ariel.
Definitely.
And you totally tore
the cover off how, like,
Mundane bike riding is.
Ariel says you two are gonna
be stepsisters, megan.
Well, that's not really
a sure thing, heather.
You are so lucky.
I just think that ariel
is such the total package.
She's wise
and deep and mature.
Plus, she has
incredibly strong hair.
Do you know what kind
of conditioner she uses, megan?
As far as I know,
she just falls in the sink.
Falls in the sink.
I should try that.
You can sit at our table
tomorrow, too, megan...
If you want.
Thanks, your majesty.
Wonder if there are
any sinks around here
I could fall into.
You are such
a revolutionary!
This is nauseating.
She's, like, totally
channeling alfred einstein.
It's albert.
Chill, megan.
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ Zircalon ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
This is lame!
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
[Bell rings]
Oh, fanul.
How I miss you,
my darling fanul.
Are you talking
to that bubble, ariel?
That bubble, as you
so patronizingly call it,
Is the love of my life!
What a poet she is.
She is not a poet!
She's possessed!
[Sighs]
yeah, I know.
Get to class.
Girl: my essence
is so fragile!
[Students chattering]
Megan: it was becoming
a nightmare of biblical
proportions, diary.
By seventh period,
ariel could've
set her hair on fire
And run around flapping
her arms like a chicken,
And people would've
thought it was cool.
Actually, that would've
been kinda cool,
But you get the idea,
diary.
[Sighs]
but the worst part was
That the worst part
was yet to come.
Mom, I don't want
to teach ariel
how to windsurf.
It's something
you guys can share, megan.
I don't want
to share with her.
Megan!
Mom!
Megan!
Mom!
Megan!
This could go on
for hours, you know.
Can't you try
a bit more, honey?
But, mom,
cutter might be there.
And ariel--she's
terrified of the wind.
How's she gonna learn
how to windsurf?
She just needs
to get past that.
I don't think you're
being very mature, meg.
I'm not?
Mom, you're the one
Who's marrying
a complete stranger.
Cos is not a stranger, meg.
In fact, in some ways,
I feel I know him better
than I've ever known any man.
Do you know the term
"soulmates," honey?
Mom. Ok,
I'll make you a deal.
I promise to take ariel
out on the water
If you promise never
to use that word again.
Deal.
I'm just gonna,
like, go out there,
And you can copy
what I do afterward, ok?
What?
I fear the wind.
Well, you're gonna
have to get past that.
Megan:
and then it happened.
Unh!
From that moment on,
diary, it was w*r.
Ariel: dear diary,
Just when I thought
it couldn't get any worse,
I learned what the words
"high school" mean.
Can't you make yourself
turn invisible?
Possibly.
Should I try?
Too late.
Hey, guys.
Hey, megan,
who's your friend?
Um, this is ariel.
She's not really
my friend.
Ariel: at feeding time,
I was invited to sit
At a certain table
which seems to possess
Great importance
to the humans.
At this table
the conversation
Was pathetically empty
and meaningless.
Everyone thinks
you're, like,
A total enigma,
ariel.
But I know
what you really are.
You do?
You're a major cosmetics
representative, right?
Megan!
Megan!
I love the way you
protect your essence, ariel.
Definitely.
And you totally tore
the cover off how, like,
Mundane bike riding is.
Ariel says you two are gonna
be stepsisters, megan.
Well, that's
not really a sure thing.
You are so lucky.
I bet megan
is so jealous of you.
I bet she wants
to be just like you.
Why would anyone
want that?
[Girls giggle]
You're both quite vacuous.
Hideous!
Monstrous!
[Together] the yukon rules!
[Students cheering]
Whoo!
That was cool, man!
You are such
a revolutionary!
Well, you're gonna
have to get past that.
Ariel: when we
got to the beach
this afternoon, diary,
I'd had enough.
I was afraid
for myself, yes,
But I was even more
frightened for megan larson.
Would not the wind
destroy her?
Watching her blown about
on the water,
I felt myself begin
to fall apart again.
I was just about to go
rescue megan larson when...
Hey!
Ariel?
I'm cutter.
[Chuckles] do you know
your clothes are wet?
I intended to rescue
megan larson.
Oh. No, she's fine.
What is your interest
In this disgusting
bag of skin I inhabit, cutter?
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
ariel.
That is way harsh.
I mean,
I don't think
it's disgusting.
I think it's very
un-disgusting,
in fact.
That is because you
inhabit a bag of skin, too.
Ok, I guess I do.
What's the alternative?
I wish to be gas.
Pure gas.
Heh, that's
one weird ambition.
So, like, uh...
You want to be
my girlfriend?
I find you vapid
and shallow, cutter.
All right. Hey,
maybe I am those things.
You know,
shallow--definitely.
Vapid--look, I don't
know what that means,
But I'm sure if I did
I could be that, too,
You know,
but listen, right,
Vapid, shallow people
have feelings, too, ok?
Check it out!
It's a party!
Hey, megan,
how was your ride?
Fine.
Come on, ariel.
Ariel!
Ariel: and now, diary,
as we say on zircalon...
Bye, megan.
The clag
really hit the dron.
See ya, ariel.
I just want you to know
that I'm onto you, ariel.
Onto me?
You may think you're
fooling everybody else,
But you are
not fooling me.
I see exactly
what you're doing.
I do not understand.
Coming here
with your root beer jones
And your affected
way of talking
And your whacked songs
and just, like, taking over.
You misapprehend me,
evil megan larson.
No. No, I think
I apprehend you
very well, ariel cola.
You are like
the total bad seed!
Why do you wish
my destruction,
Evil megan larson?
Why?
Because...
Because you have
come in,
And you've taken
everything I want!
Well, fine, have it.
But leave cutter alone.
I do not want cutter.
I do not want any of it.
All I want
is to go home.
What?
[Sighs]
I just want to go home.
You do?
I would give
anything to leave
this horrid place,
With its
strange creatures
and its solid objects
And its
callous disregard
For the natural
dignity of bubbles!
You don't like us because
we're not nice to bubbles?
I wish only to go home.
To see fanul.
To be gaseous.
So you don't want
your dad to marry my mom?
Of course not.
Ariel: and so
in that moment, diary,
A strange, unholy alliance
was born
Between evil megan larson
and i.
When daddy and kathy larson
went out this evening,
Evil megan larson
and I volunteered
To watch
the small noisemaker.
[Honk honk honk]
Ok, trev, time for bed.
But, megan,
it's not even 6:00 yet,
And I haven't
even had dinner.
bon appetit!
Ah.
Good night. Oh,
take roky with you.
Ok, the first thing
we have to do
Is convince our parents
That we're
the best of friends.
I do not understand,
evil megan larson.
How could 2 creatures who
dislike each other as we do
Possibly convey otherwise?
There's this thing
we have in the u.s.
Maybe you've
heard of it, ariel.
It's called acting.
Ariel: megan larson
revealed herself that night
As a truly evil architect.
"All is fair in love
and w*r," she said.
"Sometimes the bubble
that shimmers brightest
Ascends the slowest,"
I responded.
Acting!
She did not understand
the reference.
♪ It's all right ♪
♪ It's ok ♪
♪ It's all right
just to be me ♪
♪ It's solid or gas ♪
♪ Liquid or stone ♪
♪ A friendship like ours ♪
♪ You're never alone ♪
[Chuckles] that
actually wasn't bad.
I'm surprised to say
I liked it as well.
We had an extremely
rad time together, daddy,
And now we are
the best of friends.
We can't wait
to be stepsisters, mom.
Please sample
these extreme cookies
we made, daddy.
And now that me
and ariel are so close,
She told me
the sweetest thing.
Cos thinks that
you're the funnest,
Most refreshingly simple
girl he's ever met,
And all
he ever talks about
Is how light,
frivolous,
And insubstantial
you are.
In the best sense,
of course.
Isn't that sweet?
Ha ha ha.
Ariel: and so, our evil plan
began in earnest.
Risotto,
Roasted fennel,
And warm pear salad.
Enjoy!
[Opera playing]
Kathy: "and his
flight from hiawatha
"And his wondrous
transmigrations
And the end
of his adventures."
Now chapter 16.
[Clears throat]
"On the shores
of gitche gumee,
"On the dunes
of nagow wudjoo,
"By the shining
big sea water
"Stood the lodge
of pau-puk-keewis.
"It was he who
in his frenzy
Whirled these
drifting sands--"
Cosmo,
what are you doing?
It's a spider
on the wall there.
But I'm just
in the middle
of my poem.
But it caught a bug,
kathy, look!
Cosmo...
Hey! Almost time
for hollywood squares!
Pumbaa, I think
you're onto something.
Pumbaa, farting:
I am?
Timon: I'll say.
Being popular
Is the best reason
to do anything.
If you become
an elephant,
Everyone
would love you,
Then we can be--
Are you making fun
of me, cos?
Of course not, kathy.
I mean, if you think
I'm such an airhead,
Why did you ask me
to marry you?
How can you ask such
a question, kathy?
I love how fun
and free you are,
And I like
the way you look.
I'm fun and I'm free
And I'm cute?
What about my mind,
cosmo?
I've never seen
your mind, kathy.
That is a very unkind
thing to say, cosmo cola.
Why are you acting
like this, kathy?
Like what?
Like the shrill
and strident guest
On a daytime tv show.
Maybe it's because
you're acting like
An inconsiderate snob,
cosmo.
I had no idea you could
be such a termagant.
Terma-what?
Termagant--
loud, obnoxious woman.
This date is over.
Kathy!
Kathy!
Kathy!
What are you two doing?
Nothing.
Ariel: of course, as megan said,
one fight was not enough
To end the relationship
entirely, diary.
Thus, the next move
was mine.
As you know, daddy,
Megan and I are now
the best of friends.
We so long
to be stepsisters.
And in this spirit,
She has shared
a confidence with me.
Yes?
You see, daddy,
Kathy only acted
the way she did
Because she was
testing you, I told him.
She knows
that you can be fun,
Like a big carefree
child, but she needs
To know that you can
be a real man, daddy.
And you're only
telling him this
'Cause you want them
to be happy, right?
Mm-hmm.
Perfect. Let's go see
how it's working.
You look great tonight,
little lady.
Why do you
keep calling me
"little lady," cos?
Don't you worry
your pretty little head
about that, ma'am.
I'll take care
of everything.
Except on sundays,
When I'll be watching
football on tv all day.
What on earth are
you talking about?
You looking
at my woman, fella?
Cos...
No, sir.
Well, don't.
And fetch me
a steak, son.
Biggest one you got.
Raw!
We don't have steak,
sir.
Oh, you don't, do you?
Well, this is
a pizza parlor, sir.
Aha!
Well, uh...
Well, bring me
the manliest pizza you got!
And put jelly beans on it!
What's up
with mom and cos?
They're having
a grown-up talk.
How come you guys
look so happy about it?
[Coins jingling]
go play games, trev.
Am I very strong,
dummy?
[Dummy voice]
yes, very.
Am I dependable,
dummy?
Absolutely!
Come on, little lady.
Let's dance!
Cosmo!
Oh! Oh!
Cosmo: ever been
swept off your feet
By a man like this before?
Whoo hoo!
Cosmo!
Here in the u.s. We have
a little term, ariel--
"Mission accomplished."
In the yukon, we say,
"gaseous matter expanded."
Right. Uh, well...
Gaseous matter
expanded, then.
Your plan was wise,
megan.
I couldn't have done it
without you, ariel.
Maybe I did
misapprehend you.
The whole cutter thing
notwithstanding.
Maybe I misapprehended
you as well.
Ariel:
this was strange, diary.
Megan larson and I
Were sharing
a pleasant conversation.
We had just managed
to make our parents
hate each other,
And now were we
starting to like,
Or at least tolerate,
each other?
I only acted that way
Because I thought
you wanted me to.
Y-you mean so much to me.
And I thought you
wanted me to act
the way I did.
Who said that?
Incoming looks.
This is very not good.
Megan:
well, I thought that
if cosmo were like that,
And you were, you know,
more like this,
Then we could all be
more...something else.
That is the most
ridiculous answer
I've ever heard, megan.
Give me a few minutes.
I could make it
sound more convincing.
Ariel?
Oh, shame and ignominy!
I have disgraced
myself and my family
All for my own
selfish reasons.
No, ariel, ariel,
don't cry.
We know
this isn't easy.
We understand,
don't we, cos?
Of course we do.
I guess it's not easy
being an alien.
I can endure this no longer.
[Sighs] I'm sorry, father.
My darling fanul,
Please come save me
from this horrid place.
I wait for you expectantly.
Yours, saweeza.
P.s. Whatever you do, fanul,
You must not tell
your father,
The emperor s'vad,
where we are.
Megan: plan "a" went
totally belly up, diary,
But I definitely
have a plan "b."
Sometimes I wonder
for a second
If I'm doing
the right thing here.
I mean, cos is
a complete freak of nature,
But he kinda grows on you.
And ariel, well, I mean,
is it really her fault
That everybody mistakes
her weirdness for coolness?
But still...
Megan: all we have
to do is make 'em fall
for somebody else.
Like, my mom
is still totally
in love with my dad.
Well, not love exactly.
Actually, they don't
even seem to really
like each other much,
But they were married
for 10 years.
Plus, they had me
and trev together.
So that is what ended
their relationship?
Horrid!
Appalling.
Grotesque.
Dreadful.
Loser!
What about your dad?
Is there anybody
You've met who's even
sort of like your mom?
Well, in fact,
your mother, kathy larson,
Has a warmth
and pleasantness to her
That are reminiscent
of my mother.
In that sense,
I can see why my father
Enjoys her company
and is cheered by her.
For that matter,
my mom seems
To get along
better with your dad
Than she ever
did with mine.
I mean, they do
laugh a lot more.
Yes, they do.
And trev
loves your dad.
My father loves trev.
But anyway--
[clears throat]
Yes, anyway--
[clears throat]
There is one individual.
Do you know
the spiritual guide
serena soo?
[Bell rings]
Didn't she believe
she was, like,
Napoleon or something?
Well, she's quite
misguided in her beliefs,
But her manner is at least
calm and harmonious.
That's perfect.
So here's the plan.
We'll tell our parents
that we want
to throw 'em a party.
You know, to make
things up to them.
Parents love it when
you say you're gonna
make things up to them.
We'll invite everybody,
and presto!
Chemistry takes over.
My dad has me
and trev this weekend.
It's perfect.
[Video game beeping]
I don't know how
to tell you this,
But you were right,
trev.
Cos is an alien.
I know that.
A bad alien.
He is not.
Trevor, when have
I ever lied to you?
Every day?
Well, this time I'm not.
Cosmo is one seriously
scary alien.
I didn't want to have
to show you this, but...
Look.
"My plane--"
Plan. My plan
to take over the world.
By cosmo cola.
Chapter one...
Eat trevor.
W-what do I need to do?
♪ All right ♪
Mom and cos'll be back
in a couple of minutes,
And my dad
and serena soo'll
be here, too.
♪ First of all ♪
♪ When you wake up
in the evening ♪
[Food processor whirs]
♪ Find yourself thinking
about the things... ♪
What are you doing?
Ariel, what are you doing?
I am preparing the food.
I put the stuff
in different bowls
'cause they're, like,
Actually different parts
of the meal.
Do they not all end up
in the intestinal tract?
Well, yeah, but--
[Doorbell rings]
♪ Put a smile
on your face... ♪
[Sighs] I will be
rid of her soon.
♪ Put a smile on your face ♪
♪ Make the world
a better place... ♪
I am serena soo.
You must be megan.
Hi. Come on in.
Ariel!
My sweet!
It's been days!
Where is your father?
♪ You can say
that I'm a dreamer... ♪
Can I come out yet?
Go back to bed, trev.
Who's that lady?
[Whispers]
she's a bad alien, too.
Go back
to your room, ok?
Aww...
You were mickey mantle,
roky.
A famous baseball player.
Maybe you two
could get a game up.
Cos: oh, my!
It was wonderful!
It was sick!
I rode underneath
the board.
He really did.
Wow, look at this!
Great job, girls.
Daddy,
look who has joined us.
Our neighbor, serena soo.
What's the news,
serena soo?
You possess great
savage bluster, mr. Cola,
And yet, there is
an inner child crying out
For tenderness
and compassion.
Actually, I think
that's my stomach.
Must be hungry!
[Chuckles]
Hi!
I'm kathy larson.
Kathy, you wear
a nimbus of distrust.
Right. I got it
at the mall.
Humor can be such
an effective defense,
Can't it, kathy?
Only against people who
have no sense of humor.
Would you like something
to drink, serena?
I will have a chai.
Megan. Ariel.
What are you girls
up to?
[Doorbell rings]
I'll get it!
Daddy!
Honey, hi.
Kathy:
fred? What are you
doing here today?
Megan told me
to come today.
You did?
Well, I thought
daddy might want
to join us for dinner.
About that, honey,
I still have
some work to do.
Is it ok if I just
pick you guys up
And bring you
back to my place?
I can bring my stuff
home and work
While you guys watch tv.
What do you say?
But we can't,
daddy, because--
Because trev--
he's sick.
Really he is.
Come on,
I'll show you.
[Coughing]
Elizabeth,
I'm coming to join ya.
Elizabeth!
Fred sanford! Excellent!
Trevor: elizabeth!
Trevor?
If you and mom
get back together,
Can I still play
with cos sometimes,
Even if he is bad?
Who's cos?
Megan: um, dad,
are you sure you don't want
To stay for dinner, as long
as you're already here?
Megan: things were not going
exactly as I'd planned,
And in the kitchen, diary,
it was even worse.
[Cos coughs]
I must tell you,
Serena soo, that many,
if not all of your ideas
Are highly improbable,
if not impossible.
You're blocking
the trauma, cosmo.
You did die
in the civil w*r.
I promise you I didn't.
You really did,
And you were a raccoon
in another life.
Where do you come up
with these things?
[Chuckles]
I'm highly sensitive,
And I am also prescient.
I know
what is going to happen.
Do you?
Yes, it's a great gi--
[coughing]
[Fly buzzing]
I don't know what you
kids are up to, megan,
But if you want to come
to my house for dinner,
We'd better get going.
I've already
lost an hour.
Then you'll
only be 23/7 today?
Very funny.
Who are you?
Cosmo cola--
kathy's fiance.
When did
this happen?
It was kind of sudden.
Cosmo and I met shortly
after he and ariel,
His daughter, moved
here from the yukon.
No one lives
in the yukon.
Anyway, we're
very happy together,
And we've decided
to marry.
I need an antacid.
[Coughing]
It's not an antacid
you need.
It's harmony.
What?
Your soul is that
of a warrior.
It needs to be calmed,
not excited.
You are very perceptive.
I...am serena soo.
Fred larson.
[Nervous laugh]
Dinnertime, everybody.
Ok...mom, you can sit
over there next to dad...
And cos and serena soo
can sit right here
next to each other.
You know,
for a nice mix and all.
Trevor, not there.
You give
and you give
and you give, fred.
And what do you ask for
in return?
A little respect.
A little consideration.
It's true.
Well, girls,
this looks...
Very inventive.
They used my recipe.
Serena soo:
perhaps I could
cleanse your aura.
I've never had anyone
cleanse my aura before.
Oh, you must let me do
a psychic reading...
Megan: this had
to be stopped, diary.
Dad was right on the verge
of falling in love
with the blair witch.
So I did the first thing
I could think of.
I'm sure I could
squeeze in a little--
Aah!
I know, I know.
It seems totally lame.
But at that moment,
it was all I could think of
To at least get people
mad at each other...
But even that didn't work.
At last!
The perfect moment!
Aah!
Whoo hoo--
h* h*!
I don't think I ever used
the word debacle before,
diary,
But this was
definitely one...
Or maybe it was a fiasco.
Whatever it was,
it wasn't good.
[Shrieking laughter]
I looked over at ariel,
and she looked super-strange.
It was like, I don't know...
She was falling apart
or something.
And when I followed her,
The weirdest thing
ever happened.
I'm not even really sure
how to describe it.
[Hooting and laughing]
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
She has no body!
She has no body!
She's just like a blob!
What are you
talking about, megan?
Get away from me!
Megan,
what is wrong with you?
What is wrong
with you guys?
Didn't you her me?
She's an alien!
Maybe you feel like an alien
sometimes, megan, hmm?
I've seen this
reaction before.
It's hardly uncommon.
Many children fear change
of this magnitude.
Megan has gotten used to
your current living arrangement,
Not sharing you,
at least with another parent.
With your
impending marriage,
That balance
will be upset.
This alien story
is merely an attempt
To prevent that
from happening.
Then you think it's
all right to go through
with the wedding?
As long as
it's what you want.
I think it's imperative...
For her sake.
How do I look?
Great.
This is all gonna
work out, meg.
I promise.
Mom, he's an alien.
I know.
But after we're married,
He wants to become
a citizen.
That's not what I meant.
I know.
[Sigh]
Isn't there anything
I can do to stop you
from marrying cos?
Megan...
Well, it's just that
you promised you
wouldn't marry him
If I didn't learn
to like him.
Oh, megan, honey,
I have thought about this
long and hard,
And I've talked to
the doctor about it.
If i, for one second, thought
your fears were justified...
I know that he's different.
It's part of what makes him
so wonderful.
Cosmo makes me
so happy, honey.
And I know that
this marriage is gonna
make this family happy, too.
Do you think
I'm going crazy?
We're all a little
crazy around here.
That's what makes us
so special.
I love you, sweetie.
I love you,
too, mom.
Everything is gonna
work out just fine.
♪ All I need, all my life,
is to love somebody... ♪
Oh, no, thank you.
[Barking]
Ha ha, roky.
Hi, baby.
Megan,
you look beautiful.
Yes, future daughter,
you're more lovely
Than cornflakes
and root bear.
Heh heh.
Thanks...i guess.
Where's ariel?
Uh, she'll be
joining us shortly.
I believe she needed
a moment of meditation to...
Collect herself.
Or maybe she's just
kicking back in the sink.
Good-bye, zircalon.
Good-bye, fanul.
Good-bye, saweeza.
Hello, saweeza.
Is it possible?
Is it?
It is i, fanul.
Fanul...powerfully
grateful I am
to see you.
Please! Saweeza,
such physical proximity
is repulsive to me.
Um...i'm sorry, fanul.
We must move quickly.
Daddy, or cosmo cola,
as he is called here,
Is supposed to commit
himself in marriage
To the earth woman,
kathy larson,
In less than an hour.
S'vad: your father is very
dangerous to me, saweeza.
He wants change.
What is our view of change,
fanul?
Change is bad.
Things should and must stay
exactly as they are.
But change is not
always bad, emperor.
Saweeza.
Already this planet
has poisoned her mind.
Have you ever been
frozen solid, saweeza?
It can be reversed,
but only at my pleasure.
You wouldn't want
your father to be
frozen forever,
Would you, saweeza?
No.
Good. Then you will lead
us to him, won't you?
Won't you?
Hello,
is the loo occupado?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Wrong room.
Hello, serena soo.
Ariel, my sweet.
Well, who are
your charming friends?
This is mike...
And his father, doug.
They're from
the yukon also.
Pleasure.
You will lead us
to cosmo cola.
Oh, there is no need
to be so tense.
Would you like some
nice relaxing herbal gum?
Be silent.
[Gasp]
aah!
What annoying
creatures these
earthlings are.
Emperor,
perhaps you are right.
Perhaps we are
annoying creatures--
"We"?
They...
But, emperor, there's
more to it than that.
There's a warmth
and kindness
to these humans,
A bravery
that might surprise you...
If you gave 'em
a chance.
Sometimes...
One must be cruel
In order to be kind,
saweeza.
Fanul,
guard the prisoner.
I shall find
cosmo cola myself.
Fanul, please.
He is my father,
saweeza.
I have no choice.
I wish I did.
Intruder alert!
Intruder alert!
Uh, cute kid.
Excuse me.
Where do you want
the 82 cases
of root beer?
I will assist
with the beverages.
Hurry back.
Come, young trevor.
We will vanquish
the villains together!
Megan, can you go see
if you can find ariel?
We're about to start.
In a minute.
Megan,
the future mrs. Cola,
I'm telling you,
it is a lovely day
for a wedding.
Of course,
I'd rather be windsurfing.
No doubt.
Megan, I'm serious.
Go find your sister.
She's not my sister.
Oh, I'll go get her.
Where is she?
[Sigh]
come on.
Man, are these fat-free?
I mean,
they look fat-free,
But I've never seen 'em
such a golden brown
before.
[Sigh]
Chip?
Heh.
What is that?
That is serena soo.
[Panting]
What are you
talking about?
Heh.
Ariel, what's going on?
Who is that?
That is fanul.
Fanul, your
boyfriend, fanul?
He and his father,
the emperor s'vad,
Have come for my father.
I knew that guy
wasn't invited...
But what does he want
with you your father?
My father is
a great freedom fighter
on zircalon, megan.
Zirca-what?
Zircalon.
Our home planet.
You were entirely
correct in all of
your inferences, megan.
My father and I
are aliens.
Why did you come here?
Just to make me feel
inferior or what?
We came to escape
political repression
on zircalon.
We stayed because my
father fell deeply in
love with your mother.
And that's it?
You're just a kid
who got stuck
On a whole new planet
where you didn't know anybody?
That's bogus.
I changed homeroom
last year,
And it totally
threw me off
for, like, 6 months.
I guess I haven't been
much of a help, have i?
You can help me now,
megan.
Well, I can try.
What?
I was quite wrong
about you.
You are not
the cruel, heartless
being I once imagined.
You are, in truth,
incredibly brave
and fearless.
Well, I'm hardly fearless.
You are, compared to me.
Well, hey, who died and
made you dictator, dude?
Watch this one,
too, fanul.
Yes, father.
You're extremely rude,
do you know that?
Silence,
peon!
Man, I seriously gotta
improve my vocabulary.
Oh, check it out.
It's a party.
Hey, megan, ariel.
That's pretty unusual.
Oh, thank you so much.
I love that
you could come.
Will you just excuse me?
Uh-huh.
Hi, can I help you?
I'm looking for the one
called cosmo cola.
Oh, I think he's
still out front.
If you see him,
would you tell him
The ceremony's starting
in 15...
Minutes?
You have taken me
far from home.
Are you ready to pay
for your crimes?
S'vad?
Emperor s'vad, to you.
You will come
with me...now.
Whoa. I've never seen
one like that before.
You want to trade?
Trevor...
This is my friend,
mr. S'vad.
He, uh...
He loves to play
hide and seek.
Cool.
Me, too.
So why don't you let us
count to 100...
And we'll come find you.
Ok, but no cheating.
Promise.
After you.
Fanul, please?
Oh, I cannot, saweeza.
I am sorry.
Look, dweeb,
just let us out
of here now, ok?
Ok? What?
This dude's fully scammin'
on you, megan.
Eww.
Mint?
Hmm.
Curiously strong.
Oh, exactly.
You know what?
I find I like
megan's brown head
Better than ariel's
yellow head.
Ha, I hear ya, bro.
You see, that's a betty
and veronica thing.
I mean, that's
freedom of choice.
Right on, bro.
High 5!
Never mind, man.
Have you decided yet
how to best end
This treacherous
captivity?
Maybe...but you've
got to work with me here.
So, fanul, you must have
a lot of power
Back on your home planet.
You know, being the son
of the emperor and all.
Well, it's a great honor
to do my father's bidding...
And time-consuming.
Well, don't you have
any time for fun?
Well, my duties
do come first,
But sometimes
I'm allowed to power float.
It's most enjoyable.
Uh...how do you do that?
Well, first, you need
to be a bubble.
I--i don't think
I could do that.
So, then, it's kind
of limited, isn't it?
Around here, we have
lots of free time.
Don't we, cutter?
Oh, yeah.
And lots of choices.
Like windsurfing,
skateboarding--
Oh, oh, hey, fanul,
you ever, like,
Mountain bike
off a ledge
into a river
And then, like,
floated down the rapids?
Now, that is extreme.
It does sound
recreational.
Oh, definitely, fanul.
We recreate constantly.
That's one
of the coolest things
about earth.
Like last year,
for instance,
I totally bladed
down this mountain.
You know, I mean, ok,
I kinda fell mostly,
You know,
but it was still cool.
I was all like,
yeah!
And what other stuff
can we do, cutter?
Yes, cutter,
what other choices
can we make here?
Ok, well, like, uh...
Oh, yeah, we have
fully 18 different
flavors of potato chips,
All of which
are excellent.
Except yogurt-flavored,
it's kinda weird.
You see, fanul,
This planet
is all about
freedom of choice.
Can you imagine,
people here have
the freedom
To fall down
mountains,
Eat the chips
of many flavors.
Be vapid
and shallow.
Uh, uh, exactly.
But your dad, man,
he's like a full-on
tyrant, dude.
Whoa, I didn't even know
I knew that word.
Tyrant. Cool.
He doesn't want
any freedom at all.
He, like,
froze that lady.
You know?
Ok, it may look
really cool,
You know, but...
It isn't.
In fact, here,
it is the very
antithesis of cool.
Which, I suppose,
would be uncool.
I think I understand.
Oh, righteous!
So, then, maybe it's time
you stand up to your father?
For, like, freedom
and liberty, right?
'Cause this may be,
like, the only planet
in this entire universe
With 18 different
flavors of potato chips,
ok?
I mean,
you gotta think of that.
Say it, fanul.
I know
you have it in you.
I know that goodness
and righteousness
Make up the very
core of your being.
We're out of here, dudes.
I can see why
you like fanul.
He's kinda cute.
I found him
more appealing as
a shimmering gasbag.
Enter the teleportation
grid, prisoner.
S'vad, listen--
Traitor!
For the crime
of questioning
my authority,
I hereby sentence you
and your daughter...
To be eternally frozen.
Please, not saweeza.
Take me!
Good, fanul,
did you bring the girl?
Yes, father.
What is this?
That's not saweeza.
No, but I'm
her stepsister...
And that happens to be
my stepfather that
you have there.
So you better
let 'em go now, ok?
Brownhead!
What is the meaning
of this?
It's time to make
some changes, father.
Change?
Clearly your mind
has been warped.
When we get home,
I will remind you
That the price
for change is
eternal freezing.
Now enter the grid.
Not until you let them go.
Put the prisoner
in the grid!
No!
You're not taking cosmo.
Hold it right there,
gasbag.
Don't mess with my family,
dude.
No doubt.
[Dryer motors whir]
Foolish children,
do not question
my authority!
It's incredible.
Can you believe this?
I'm sure
they'll be here...
Any minute now.
Your tiny machines
have no effect on me.
Megan:
this is very not good.
Ariel, fanul...
[Leaf blower motor]
Try this on for size,
sucker!
Not the wind!
Not the wind!
Trevor, you fully rock.
Oh, trevor-man, yeah!
Go, trevor.
[Leaf blowers whirring]
Can't they see we're trying
to have a wedding here?
What nerve.
All right.
Sweet!
All right! Unreal!
Hey, that was cool,
trevor-man.
Does this mean cos
can go back to being
a good alien?
Cool.
Daddy! Ha ha!
Ohh! Ha ha ha!
Thank you,
megan larson.
We're family...
Or at least
we're supposed to be.
What time is it?
Time for you
to get married.
Really, thank you,
I'm sorry, at any minute.
Cos: kathy!
Mom!
So sorry to have
kept you waiting.
I would wait
forever for you.
Honey, have you
seen serena?
Uhh.
Cosmo, repeat after me:
I, cosmo, take thee,
katherine, to be my wife.
I, cosmo, take thee,
katherine, to be my wife.
To have and to hold
from this day forward...
To have and to hold
from this day forward...
To love--
[Cell phone rings]
Fred larson.
Megan: well, diary,
I guess some things are just
never gonna change.
No, that's fine.
No, ring me any time.
Reverend: to love,
honor, and cherish...
Cos: to love,
honor, and cherish...
For richer, for poorer...
For richer,
for poorer...
♪ It was you that ♪
♪ Picked me up
when I was down ♪
♪ One look in your eyes
can turn me around ♪
Do you really have
to go back to zircalon?
With my father
in his current condition,
It's up to me
to govern our planet.
I'll come back...
Once I've made
a few changes.
[Rock plays]
Ariel: life
on this strange planet
Continues to confuse
and amuse me, diary.
It's odd.
I thought my life
was completely over
when I came to earth.
But now I can see that
it was only just beginning.
A new boyfriend who,
as far as cumbersome
bags of skin goes,
Is actually quite appealing.
A new stepmother...
Even a new best friend.
Megan:
well, diary, I guess this
is the part where I admit
That I actually learned
something from these last
couple months...and I did,
But I think
I'll just keep it to myself.
I mean, who would ever
believe all this anyway?
Let's just say,
thanks to my new stepsister,
There's room for everybody
at the popular table.
Come on,
sit with us.
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