Scream Team, The (2002)

[bunniefuu]

Put your hands together,
cover your eyes

Get ready for a big surprise

Spirits in a bottle,
ghosts in the machine

Walkin' on water, floatin' on a dream

Who's foolin' who?
Who can you believe?

Do you think you're gonna lose it?

Are you sure what you've just seen?

There's somethin' underground

Did you hear that sound?

What's cookin' in your head?

Are you shakin' in your bed?

When you don't wanna do

What you think you gonna do
And you can't find a pop or a cop

And you got two friends who
will be hangin' till the end

'cause you know you're
never gonna make it stop

If you see 'em comin',
better start runnin'

With the scream team

Better start runnin'

Want to treat or trick it?

You know you gotta kick it

With the scream team

GHOST: No luck. He's not upstairs.

Did you check the basement?

-GHOST 2: He's only been...
-GHOST: Shh!

GHOST 2: [WHISPERING]
He's only been dead for six hours.

He couldn't have gotten too far.

GHOST: Check the living room again.
I'll try the attic.

GHOST: Somebody's coming.
We've gotta get out of here.

WOMAN: He's right down there.

I just came by to help him
carve some pumpkins for Halloween...

when I found him.

Turn it off! Turn it off!

Relax, Gramps.
That was our best one yet.

Well, well, nobody's looking
to buy a pumpkin smasher.

It's a pumpkin carver they want.

It'll revolutionize Halloween.

How about inventing a rubber mask

that doesn't make your face sweat?

Now, that ought to do it.

This time, it's gonna work.

History is about to be made.

Claire, are you getting this?

Uh-huh, but hurry up.
My arm is getting tired.

All right, Ian, let her go.

It's working. It really works.
Way to go, Gramps.

GRANDPA: Step one complete!

Step... two!

Disembowelment!

Maybe we should work on
the names of your steps.

GRANDPA: [CHUCKLES] Let her down, now.

That's it!

Bring it down! Lower it.

There you go. That's it.

Now, easy does it.

[CLAIRE SCREAMS]

GRANDPA: Turn it off! Turn it off!

Whoa! Whoa! Turn it off! Turn it...

[LAUGHS]

Yeah, very funny.

[GRANDPA LAUGHS]

What do you think
we should call step three?

[LAUGHING]

IAN: Let's call it
"Claire gets a pumpkin hat".

GRANDPA: [LAUGHS]
Good idea! Get another pumpkin!

[LAUGHING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Guys, maybe this isn't
the most appropriate time

to be watching this.

What's the point of a memorial

if you aren't supposed to remember?

Go and make some
meaningless small talk

with your grandfather's friends.

Please.

Nice to see you laughing, Dad.

Didn't know you had it in you.

[WOMAN SOBBING]

Oh, such a brave little girl.

You're holding up so well.

[CHUCKLES] I'm a trouper.

I swear, somebody dies and suddenly

The whole world is
invading your personal space.

Tell me about it.

[WOMAN] Oh, you must be Frank's grandson!

Let me give you a hug. [SOBBING]

[SOBBING]

[THUMP]

[THUMP]

Can I help you?

No, no, I was just, um...

Frank had some books.

Claire, right?

I'm Warner MacDonald.

Your grandfather and I were great friends.

Hmm. He never mentioned you.

Yeah, well, you were usually only
in our little hamlet

for a couple of weeks
during the summer,

But since you're gonna be around

a little longer this time,

you have to come to
our big Halloween festival this weekend.

I'm not really in a festival kind of mood.

Yeah. Well, I didn't mean, um...

Everything all right?

Richard.

It's wonderful
to have you back here, Richard.

Well, not wonderful under
the circumstances.

Well, I better be going.

Excuse me.

What kind of freak
brings a flyer to a funeral?

[CHUCKLES] That's old Warner for you.

He and your grandfather
have hated each other since grade school.

Something about
a vicious game of red rover, red rover.

[CROW SQUAWKING]

[WIND BLOWING]

-MAN: Say hi to your family for me.
-DAD: I will. You too, all right?

Drive safe.

WOMAN: Richard,
sorry to hear about your father.

What are your plans for the house?

[RICHARD SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

I'm putting a "for sale" sign up
first thing in the morning.

See, I have to be back at the hospital
in a week, two, tops.

It's not the house itself
that's the problem,

it's all the junk that's inside it.

The basement alone would fill up
half a dozen dumpsters.

[TOY WHIRS]

[CHIMING]

MALE VOICE: Ian...

Hello?

Ian...

RICHARD: Ian?

Why didn't you answer?
I've been calling you.

You all right?

You sure?

I'm sure.

'Cause if you're not, I mean...
I understand.

I know that you and grandpa
were pretty close, so...

[SCOFFS] Can you believe all the junk
he's got down here?

It's not junk.

[CHUCKLES] What is half of this stuff?

He came up with more
ridiculous gadgets and gizmos...

It's not junk!

Grandpa made all this stuff!

This is his pumpkin carver.
It's gonna revolutionize Halloween!

And this is a portable turbo-vac.

We made it two summers ago!

And this...

Well, I don't know what this is,
but it's grandpa's

And you can't just
throw it all into a dumpster!

I'm not gonna let you!

Keeping all this stuff
isn't gonna bring him back, Ian.

[SIGHS]

I hope you realize
how lucky you are.

I would have given anything

to hang out with him down here
when I was a kid.

So why didn't you?

I don't know, really.

He was busy, and...

I was in the way.

A long time ago.
It doesn't matter now.

Come on. I left your sister
in charge of dinner.

Consider yourself warned.

[WIND CHIMES CLINKING]

Well, that certainly was disgusting.

I'd have ordered pizza,
but they don't deliver after 7:00.

Welcome to small town living.

Dad, I found some more newspaper.

That's the flyer that weird guy

who was going through
Grandpa's books gave me.

Oh, hey. I forgot about this.

The Halloween festival.

If we're still in town,
you two should go.

It's supposed to be a lot of fun.

Grandpa said it's totally cheeseball.

Well, he would.

It's Warner's baby.

People come
all the way from Boston for it.

Grandpa used to talk about this
Zachariah guy

like he was some kind of inventor...

But he looks pretty creeped out to me.

He should.

He's something of a local legend,

our resident spook.

He really existed?

RICHARD: That's what they say.

He lived with his young bride
on Coal Hill,

just south of town, almost 200 years ago.

What did he do to get so famous?

He burned things down.

Supposedly, Zachariah loved only one thing
more than his wife...

And that was fire.

They say...

you could see it in his eyes.

Zachariah, please come inside.

You'll catch cold.

RICHARD: Fires broke out constantly
in the hills around his home.

The town did everything they could
to try and stop him,

but it was his wife
who finally said she'd had enough

and tried to leave him.

CLAIRE: "Tried"? What did he do?

RICHARD: He set their cabin
on fire with her still in it.

He k*lled her?

Afraid so...

But in a fitting end...

They found him guilty of m*rder

And sentenced him to be
burned at the stake in the town square.

The fires didn't end with Zachariah.

That night, the courthouse
burned to the ground.

-[GONG CLANKING]
-Fire!

Fire!

RICHARD: They say that
he still roams the hills,

seeking his revenge.

[ZACHARIAH YELLING]

Cool.

So you're saying this town is haunted?

No. He's saying it's full of bumpkins.

[WIND BLOWING]

Dad!

It's all right, son.

[SCARY VOICE] You can see it
in his eyes.

Dad...

[SCOFFS]

You okay sleeping in Grandpa's room?

Yeah. It's totally cool.

I'm not creeped out or anything,
if that's what you mean.

Good.

He didn't die in here, right?

Right.

Good night, Ian.

IAN: Good night, Dad.

[OWL HOOTS]

[CLATTERING]

[GROANING]

[GROANING CONTINUES]

Who said that? Who's there?

[GROANING CONTINUES]

I'm not afraid of you!

Dad!

Dad!

Dad!

There's something in my room!
It's clanging and moaning.

The bed's shaking! The bed was shaking!
There's something in my room! Come on!

Calm down. That's impossible.

I'm sure it was just...

Get out from under there this instant.

Claire!

I'm not afraid of you

I swear, you are so gonna pay!

[GIGGLES] Good night.

Don't let the ghoulie-ghoulies bite.

Good night, Claire.

[SIGHS]

-You okay?
-I'm fine.

Just make sure Claire's in her room.

Good night.

Good night.

-[DOOR CLOSES]
-[SIGHS]

[CHIMING]

Very funny, Claire, ha-ha.

[GRUNTS]

Claire, knock it off!

Ian.

Ian.

[IAN YELLS]

Wait!

[GLASS SHATTERS]

Now what's going on?

Ian?

IAN: And then it said my name

and began doing this
weird morphing thing,

And I tripped or something
and when I got back up, it was gone.

That's what I get for telling you kids
ghost stories.

I wasn't having a nightmare.

How do you explain the books falling?

Gravity?

Maybe it's some sort of sign
from the beyond.

Maybe I'm supposed to read them.

Then the beyond
doesn't know you very well.

"Property of
the Steeple Falls Public Library."

He was definitely
trying to tell me something.

[CLAIRE] He?

Grandpa! It had to be Grandpa's ghost.

I mean, who else could it be?

Oh, great. It wasn't enough

that he was giving me grief
while he was alive.

Ian, you gotta pull yourself together
and go to bed.

Do we understand each other?

Good. I'll see you in the morning.

[GIGGLING] I got you so good.
You were so scared.

You were like, "Dad, oh!"

[GASPS]

[SIGHS]

Someone has to remind Dad

about the child labor laws in this state.

All right, guys, let's take a break.

Come on into town with me.

Must have heard from your lawyer.

Oh, Claire, why don't you run up
to Grandpa's room, grab those books.

I want to make sure we return them.

Claire, no!

We can't return those books.

I haven't even looked at them.

They're library books.
We can't keep them.

But Grandpa was using them
to send me a message.

Oh, seriously, the only message
he was sending you was,

“Shut up and quit acting like such an...”

Idiot.

What is that?

-I don't know.
-[CAR HORN HONKS]

[SIGHS]

Here, hold on to these, Claire.
You take the books.

-What? You take 'em!
-IAN: I'm not taking them.

-CLAIRE: Yes, you are.
-IAN: Shut up.

GHOST: Ian...

Ian...

Bent the rules a little,

Letting your Grandpa check these out,

But then again,
he could be very persuasive.

Looks like old Zachariah
and the festival

are finally putting
this town on the map.

Before you know it,
we'll be giving Salem

and their witch trials
a run for their money.

[LAUGHS] And Steeple Falls

has more unsolved fires per capita
than any other town in the state.

"Steeple Falls -
is it hot in here, or is it just us?"

[CHUCKLES]
I'm not kidding. It's on the t-shirt.

What's with all the old machine parts
in the display case?

Oh, that's just some doodads
that Warner dug up around the cabin.

We just wanted something
to fill up the case.

Zachariah's cabin? It still exists?

Oh, heaven's no,

but Warner owns
the land and he says

that he is gonna build a replica
for the tourists.

There is even talk about putting in
a theme park.

[CAR HORN HONKING]

-MAN: Hey, Pops!
-WARNER: Slow down!

Man, these people sure love
their whacked-out fire-starters.

Maybe there's something in the water.

What?

Don't wander off,
I'm only gonna be a minute.

Where does he think
we're wandering off to?

You can see the whole place from here.

Look, they still haven't
rented out grandpa's store.

I loved that place.

I still don't know why
he had to close it.

Yes, you do, and quit talking about it.

You know it upsets Dad.

-What doesn't?
-[CAR HORN HONKING]

Hey, kids. Beautiful day.
Hope you're making the best of it.

Yeah. Well, once we're done here,
we're gonna go back

And pack up our
dead grandfather's belongings.

It's good to be productive.

Now speaking of your grandfather,
there were some books.

-Library books?
-Uh, yeah, right. So you found 'em?

-[CAR HORN HONKING, TIRES SCREECH]
-[CRASH]

Wha...

What has he done?

I told you to let me drive the tractor.

Hey, Pops, uh...

Clean it up. What did you do?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

WARREN: Hey, kids...

I didn't catch what you said
about the books.

Hi, Warren.

Looks like your festival's
really taking off.

Ah, ain't it, though?

And your dad always said
it wasn't gonna amount to anything.

It was a real loss to this town

when Frank decided
to close down the store.

Shame he couldn't find anyone
to take it over.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a shame.

And me, I'm lucky.

My boys couldn't wait
to get into the business.

This town means the world to them.

Well, when it's all you know...

See you Saturday.

Nice talking to you, Warner.

Claire?

I'm going now.

Just running into town
to see Grandpa's lawyer.

Hey, my old wood shop project.

Sixth grade.

It was Dad's Christmas present that year.

And Grandpa kept it.

Must have meant a lot to him.

I doubt it.

He said I didn't sand it properly.

Dad, are you okay?

What? Yeah, fine.

Make sure you and your brother
get some homework done.

I just don't want you to get behind.

[CLATTERING]

Ian, I'm taking off now, so...

I don't want to know.

Yes, I do.

What is all this?

Uh, it's stuff to catch a ghost.

I should always go with my gut.

[COYOTE YAPPING]

[BEEPING]

Shh!

[SIGHS]

[WIND BLOWING]

Oh, whoa...

Got you!

Hey, what's going on?
Let me out of here.

-Who are you, anyway?
-Claire!

-Do you mind? Some of us are trying to...
-Look!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

-What is it?
-It's a ghost!

Ian, it is not a ghost.

[TAPPING]

Can you just unscrew the lid?

-If it's not a ghost, then what is it?
-I don't know,

But there has to be
some kind of a logical explanation.

-GHOST: Hey, hey!
-It is not a ghost.

GHOST: It's dark in here. I hate the dark!

Does it have to hit you
in the face, literally?

It's a ghost, and I'm keeping it.

Ian, for the last time,
there is no such thing as gh...

-[FOOTSTEPS]
-[GASPS]

I do hate to be the bearer of bad news,

but as we say
in the ghost business, “Boo”!

[SCREAMS]

Must she keep doing that?

Stay right where you are.

Don't take another...
whatever-it-is-you-do closer.

This is the coolest thing in the world!

This is not the coolest thing
in the world.

This is the antithesis of cool.

Now, nobody will get hurt
as long as you do exactly as I say.

-Give me the jar.
-No way!

Ian, just give him the jar.

FIRST GHOST: Give him the jar, man.

-Ian, give him the jar!
-No!

Fine. I didn't want to have
to resort to this, but...

[BLARING, CUCKOO CLOCK HOOTING]

That was so not
what I needed right now.

That was amazing.
Can you do anything else?

No.

Good.

-[MOTOR STARTS]
-Uh-oh.

[SUCKING AIR]

Well, nice chatting to you, but...

Gotta fly.

Come on!

IAN: There it is!

Come on!

Hurry up! We're losing him!

Sorry. I just keep thinking we should
be running in the opposite direction.

Come on!
Could you possibly move any slower?

Yes.

Come on!

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Where is it? It's gone!

Ian!

Oh, man!

It could be anywhere!
I can't believe we lost it!

-I think it went that way.
-Are you sure? How do you know?

That's how.

[WHOOSHING]

I'm getting too old for this.

[SIGHS] Persistent little beggars.

[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]

GHOST 2: Name and manner of death?

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me guess.

GHOST 3: Watch your step. Right this way.
Hey, there, Stretch, right this way.

A through L on your left,
M through Z on your right.

Hi, there. Yes, welcome, yes. Keep moving.

Oh, and we're walking, we're walking
away from the light this time.

GHOST 4:
Thank you for dying. Watch your step.

Thank you for dying,
and please come again. Kidding! [LAUGHS]

A little afterlife humor.

[CHUCKLES]
It's not really funny, really...

Thank you for...

Okay, dead people, come on,
keep it moving, look alive!

Move it, move it, move it.

There you go. Get in line.

That's right, get back in line, cowboy.

Thank you, sir.

Hi, welcome. That's it...

Okay, Dot, down the steps.

A through L on your left,
M through Z on your right.

Thank you very much.
Very nice. Wonderful.

And we're walking, and we're walking,

And we're smiling 'cause we're dead,
not depressed. That's right.

-Name.
-Lindsey, Phil.

Let me check that out.

Here you are.

Thought we made a mistake there
for a minute.

You have no idea
the amount of paperwork...

-[BEE BUZZES]
-...I've gotta fill out when that happens.

Don't worry, sir,
just a little bit of processing.

Thank you. Thank you for dying.

Please, come again. Kidding!

[LAUGHS] Just a little bit
of afterlife humor.

It's really not funny.
Thank you for dying.

I'm sorry, no cell phones allowed
in the hereafter.

Makes the Cherubim crazy.

Don't even ask me
about the Seraphim.

Whoo-whoo! Careful.

Okay, bye-bye.
Watch your step there.

Your turn. There you go.

There you go. Where are the sheep?

Did somebody get the sheep?

Hello? Is anybody there?

It's gone. We lost it.

Can we please just go back

and pretend it never happened?

No! It's got to be around here somewhere.

I swear, if I end up on the cover
of the Weekly World News,

you are so dead.

Welcome. Please get in...

Mariah, we've got prob...

[PANTING]

Where in the world have you been?
Look, we are swamped.

Why everyone has to die on a Thursday
is beyond me.

We've got problems.

"Problems"? As in, plural?

Where is the soul you were sent out
to retrieve?

That's one.

-And where is Jumper?
-That's another one.

Well, how many more are there?

-One.
-IAN: Hello?

-Maybe two.
-IAN: Is anybody there?

[GASPS] The living?

You let the living follow you here?

What are you thinking?

I'm sure if we keep quiet,
they'll be gone in a couple of minutes.

Found 'em!

[SCREAMS]

-She does that.
-[SCREAMS]

Are all of those people dead?

They're dead, aren't they?

They're alive, aren't they?

They're alive! Okay, do something!
Get them out of here!

Relax, I'll take care of it.

You are only dreaming.

This is just a dream.

-I tried.
-I am so writing you up.

Look, we don't know who or...

what you things are,

but we got your little friend here...

FIRST GHOST: Hey, boss.

But we'd be willing
to trade him for some answers.

Or the nearest exit.

Okay, look, kids, don't mess with me.

I am in no mood today.

FIRST GHOST: Ouch!

Hey, boss.

[GRUNTING]

[SIGHS] Open it.

Thank you.

[HACKING AND SPLUTTERING]

FIRST GHOST: Ugh!

Ooh. Aah.

Ooh. Aah.

That feels much better.

What was that all about?

Was I bothering you?

And hello, how about some air holes?

Some partner you turned out to be.

"Wuggedy-wuggedy-woo."
That's the best you can do?

You're welcome.

Oh, I'm supposed to be thanking you now.

I got two little kids here,
and you can't even...

Okay, gentlemen, um, please,

I think we have
a couple more pressing problems here.

So what exactly is this place?

Oh, no, no. Listen, it's... forget it.

It's much too complicated to explain.

Some sort of afterlife way station?

Okay, maybe not so complicated.

Oh! Hello. [GIGGLES]

Thank you for dying.

This is the North American

Zone 6 soul retrieval center,

and I am Jumper.

[SCREAMING]

Get the picture?

And this is my so-called
partner Coffin Ed.

Delighted.

And we are the Soul Patrol.

Don't touch me.

[CHUCKLES] I'm Ian Carlyle,

and over there is my sister Claire.

Put it right there, buddy.

[LAUGHS]

Ha! I love that one!

WOMAN: Thank you for dying.

There you go. Don't be frightened.

-What is this?
-MARIAH: Hey. Hey. No. No, no, no.

Step away. Away from the portal.
Thank you.

You'll have your opportunity soon enough.

Not now.

I'm going to die?

Oh, hello.
News flash: everybody dies.

Talk about your job security.

CLAIRE: So what's on the other side?

Well, we're really not allowed
to talk about it.

It's a big secret. Big secret. Shh.

She's never even been.

None of us made it out
of the waiting room

before they bounced us into
these lousy jobs.

Yes, and I will be stuck here

Until you-know-what freezes over

if anyone finds out about the two of you.
Okay?

No, no.

Wow. All these people died?

Wait till the hockey season starts.

No, no, no. Do not touch that.
Don't touch that. That's private.

-Your hands are too dirty!
-Hey, Claire, look!

Here's Grandpa's name.

It's not checked off.

I knew it.

That was Grandpa I saw last night!

Why didn't he cross over?

Other than the fact
it looks kind of creepy.

Who knows?

The dead are very unpredictable.

Could be unrequited love, revenge,

poor sense of direction.

Don't you try and figure out
why they stayed behind?

The number of people who die
in my district

is supposed to match the number of people

who cross over.

The “why” is not my concern.

How about we make you a deal?

No. The dead don't make deals.

You help our grandfather to cross over

and we promise never to tell a soul
about what we saw.

Deal. But first,

you have to let my grandfather fulfill

whatever it is he's trying to do.

[SIGHS] Okay, but he has to be here
by tomorrow night.

I can only claim an accounting error
for so long.

Don't worry.

Once you get to know Mariah,

she's even worse.

Uh, no cell phones, love.

IAN: Still don't believe in ghosts, huh?

-[BRANCH WHOOSHES]
-Missed, but I'll take that

as a "I'm sorry for being such a stuck-up,
closed-minded..."

Ow! Aah.

What do you think Grandpa wants
to tell us?

Maybe he buried a fortune in gold
under the house.

How hard did I hit you
with that branch?

It would just be so cool
to see him again,

To, you know, to get to say good-bye

and all that stuff.

IAN: Hey, I'm caught. Give me a hand.

Uh-oh.

I couldn't have been in town
for more than an hour.

-I don't know what happened.
-Dad, what's wrong?

Claire, are you all right?
Where's your brother?

Ian, I was so worried.

I got home, and you weren't here.

Are you sure you're all right?

-Yeah. We're fine, right?
-I'm good.

Yes. Yes.

So where were you?

CLAIRE: Dad, you're not
gonna believe this.

-The most incredible...
-We were frog hunting.

-Frog hunting?
-Frog hunting?

Um, yeah.

Grandpa always takes us frog hunting.

Um, so I wanted to go,

and, uh, Claire said no
because she's afraid of frogs.

-I'm not afraid of frogs.
-And I went anyway.

Um, and then I got lost,

and Claire came to find me,
but then we both got lost,

and now we're not lost anymore,

which is good,
because we've been found.

But I got to tell you,
boy, am I exhausted.

Sorry you were so worried.

Next time, we'll, uh,

we'll leave a trail of breadcrumbs
or something.

Nice to meet you guys. Night.

Their grandfather just died.

I think they're still
a little freaked out about it.

[BOING]
[c*ck CROWS]

Wow. You two have really
made a lot of progress.

Definitely on the road to redemption.

Nothing like those
energizing pangs of guilt to spur us on.

I knew I brought you up right.

Listen, I'm gonna take a run into town.

Either one of you want to come along?

Uh, no, I'm fine.

Yeah. Me, too.

Fine. Suit yourselves.

IAN: Come on.
We haven't got much time.

Hey.

Listen, guys,
I-I know we haven't really talked about,

well, everything,

But I just wanted to, uh...

You're okay, right?

Yeah. We're fine, Dad.

Okay. Good.

Are you sure?

Yes.

We're fine. Really.

Great.

What's that for?

In case he doesn't
want to come along peacefully.

You know how
stubborn he can be.

[CLAIRE SIGHS]

And what's all that?

Happy memories.
I thought they might help attract him.

[SCOFFS] What do you want from me?
I've never been ghost hunting before.

And neither have I,
but it can't be that hard.

I mean, we know he's in the house,

And I'm pretty sure
he wants to talk to us.

Hey, Grandpa,
are you in here somewhere?

Ooh, ooh.

I'm trying to contact
the spirit of Frank Carlyle.

Come in, Frank Carlyle.

Oh, for the love of...
[WHISTLES]

Hey, Gramps, it's Ian and Claire,

and we have to talk to you now.

Please?

Grandpa?

Grandpa?

Is it really you?

Give him a minute
to pull himself together.

It's him!

Hi, Grandpa. How's it going?

Hi, Grandpa.

It's me, Claire,

your granddaughter.

He's not blind. He's dead.

I know.

Grandpa, I'm not sure if you know this,

but it's important that you cross over,

move on with your life.

Death.

Just tell us what you want, Grandpa.

We can help you.

What is it? What's wrong?

Ian, Claire.

-Let go of my grandfather!
-[MOTOR TURNS ON]

[RATTLING, MOTOR TURNS OFF]

[WHISPERING] Something to remember me by.

Watch out!

-Ian, the extinguisher! Hurry!
-But he's getting away!

[BELL RINGING]

He's gone!

What's going on?
Why is the alarm going off?

Dad, hi. That was quick.

Ian, you set the house on fire?

-Why do you think I did it?
-He didn't. We didn't do this.

-Seriously.
-Yeah. If anything,

we should be getting
some kind of a medal right now.

CLAIRE: If we told you what
really happened,

you wouldn't believe us,

so you're just gonna
have to trust us on this one.

I mean, no harm done, right?

"No harm done"?
I'm gone ten minutes,

and you almost burn the house down?

What's going on with you two?
Are you acting out?

Do you blame me for all this?
Are you mad at me?

Are you trying to get back at me
or something?

Seriously, Dad,
this really isn't about you,

so don't take it so personally.

What?

Go! Get out.

I can't talk to both of you right now. Go.

I thought that Dad said
that Zachariah Kull was just a legend?

Apparently, he's not the authority
on ghosts we thought he was.

Hey, those veins on his forehead
were pretty wild.

[LAUGHS] Yeah, I really thought
they were gonna burst this time.

Just one of these days,

I'd like to see someone come through here
who actually looks like their picture.

[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]

IAN: Hey, ghosties! ghosties!

Come on, look alive.
We've got big problems.

MARIAH: Problems? Guess what.
We have no more room for problems.

We're filled up with problems.

What's going on here?
Nobody died today?

All right, bite your tongue.

It just so happens that most ghosts
prefer to travel at night.

They're ghosts.

Tell that to the flaming creepy
that just siphoned off my grandfather.

You're not talking about Zachariah Kull,
are you?

Um, well, huge skeletor-like face
with a long black jacket.

That's the cat. Big old top hat
and nails look like they need to be done.

-And, oh, yeah, he throws flame ba*ls.
-Yeah.

Yep.
Well, that does sound like ol' Zachariah.

Of course, it could also be Sheila,
my second wife.

Now, she was terrifying.

You know,
I so do not need this right now.

Sometimes it just seems like

the whole afterlife is
conspiring against me.

What's Zachariah doing out here?

I thought dead guys
were supposed to be in there,

Even big, huge, scary ones.

Zach's an unusual case.

He holes out in an old mine

just on the south side of town.

And this isn't the first time
our paths have crossed.

Actually, it's quite an interesting story.

This is one evil dude!

You guys aren't getting this, man!

He captures people's soul,
and then he steals their life force.

He's the kind of ghost
that's after revenge.

Gives us all a bad name.

Steals their life force?

Does that mean Grandpa can't cross over?

Okay, you know what?

No more drama.

Everything is just fine.

You people are making a mountain

out of a tiny, tiny, tiny little molehill.

Now, we are monitoring
the situation closely,

and we'll have the matter
resolved in no time.

Everything is fine, people.

Look, I'm smiling.

He died 200 years ago!

Eternity does not breed efficiency.

Okay, even with the occasional loss,

This station still maintains
a death-to-crossover ratio of...



It's the second highest in the continent.

Second only to New Jersey,

and everyone knows they,
you know, doctor their books.

-[HISSES]
-You have to do something.

Isn't it your job to save him?

I just don't have the ghost power
for this kind of thing.

Look at us. We're swamped.

[WHISPERING] Way to look busy.

Thank you. Busy. Lovely.

This is our grandfather
we're talking about.

You can't just leave him out there.

Look, little person,

I know that this is difficult for you
to accept, but your grandfather...

This is getting embarrassing!

What are we doing?

We are the Soul Patrol.

We got way more life force
than a dozen stinky ghosts!

This is what I signed up for.

I say we go kick
some serious ghost butt.

Yeah, except for you didn't sign up.

-You were sentenced.
-What. Ever.

-Are you with me, Eddie, buddy?
-Only one week left on the force.

Why can't I just retire in peace?

Oh, okay, you talked me into it.
There's nothing on TV anyway tonight.

JUMPER:
Yes! That's what I'm talkin' about!

Yeah! How about you, Mariah?

Oh, go. Fine. But I know nothing.

I don't know anything.
I don't know you.

Who are you? Get away.

Let's go get your grandpa.

High five.

JUMPER: [LAUGHS] Got him again!

The Soul Patrol is on the road.

-Oh, yeah. You're Run-D.M.C., now, right?
-COFFIN ED: That's right.

The Soul Patrol
is looking for a mole. No.

Oh, so funny.
"Soul Patrol is on the road..." [LAUGHS]

That's great.

-Soul Patrol doesn't care about the rules.
-[LEVER CRANKS]

Soul Patrol is going to get me fired.
[CHUCKLES]

The Soul Pa...

CLAIRE: His cabin
must've been up there somewhere.

-IAN: Uh, whose cabin?
-Zachariah's.

They said it was on Coal Hill.

COFFIN ED: Oh, very nice.
What, on the bottom of Sewage Lane?

[CROW SQUAWKING]

But you know what I don't understand?

IAN: Baseball?

What to wear with denim?

How I can be dead
and still look so good?

No, no, and, heh, no.

I don't understand why Zachariah's
out for revenge.

He flambéed his wife
and burned down half the town.

Sounds like he got what he deserved.

Oh, an illogical crazy person,
how unusual!

Before we go in here, maybe we should
figure out what's motivating him.

There must be a reason
he didn't cross over.

-You're just scared.
-Duh.

He's huge and scary and throws fire.

But, Claire, what about Grandpa

and all the dozens of other souls

he's plundered over the years?

You care about his motivation?

You know what? I'm with you.

It's now or never.

What's it gonna be?

-Never.
-Now!

All right. Now.

-Ed?
-I'm sorry. What?

Oh. Uh...

Right.

We attack at dawn.

We attack now, man.

Right. Well, let's get on with it, then.

Next stop, handbags,
sporting goods, and unfettered evil.

IAN: Whoa. This place is so cool!

CLAIRE: You really think
this will work?

COFFIN ED: Oh, of course it will.
It's a brilliant plan.

We three will distract him
while young Ian here

wrestles Zachariah to the ground,

holds him down,
and proceeds to just...

That is not a plan.

Now, Ian and Claire suck him
into the gizmo,

we make him stay there
until we get him back to the portal

and toss him through
and let the people on the other side

deal with him from there.

I think mine's a much better plan.

CLAIRE: Please tell me
you're doing that lantern thing.

I'm also available
for weddings and bar mitzvahs.

[GHOSTS WAILING MOURNFULLY]

Is that him?

If it's not, then we're in real trouble.

[FEMALE GHOST WAILING]

-[WHISPERING] What's he doing?
-He's powering up.

-Shh.
-He's powering up.

He keeps the souls that he's captured
in that mine shaft below,

then he steals their life force.

This has to work.

Okay, on the count of three, start it up.

Okay. You ready?

One...

two...

three!

[ENGINE STARTS]

[SCREAMS]

No!

IAN: Hold on!

[ZACHARIAH SCREAMS]

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

-What did you do?
-I didn't do anything.

It's not my stupid invention.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[SCREAMS]

IAN: Here! Hold this!

[ENGINE TURNS OFF]

IAN: We did it!

We just have to get this thing
back to the portal.

And release Grandpa and everyone else
that's still stuck down there.

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

Ian, look out!

[SCREAMING]

Claire!

Oh, no!

Claire!

[SCREAMS] Yeah! [GRUNTS]

-Ian!
-Hang on!

[SPIRIT HOWLS]

[SCREAMING]

Help me!

Help me.

Help me.

[SCREAMING]

-IAN: Grab the rope!
-[CLAIRE SCREAMS]

Pull yourself up!

SPIRIT: Help me!

I can't!

Try! I'll help you!

[CLAIRE SCREAMING]

You go, and I'll try
to hold him off.

You can't do that.
You're no match for Zachariah Kull.

Okay, then. I'll go, and you guard him.

Good luck.

Come on.

You're almost there!

Oh, please don't let me step on one!

Please don't let me step on one!

Claire!

[GRUNTING]

Come on! Pull harder!

I'm doing the best I can.

[SCOFFS]

[GROWLS] Come on, sucker.

-[CLAIRE SCREAMS]
-Hang on!

[GRUNTING]

Help me, Claire.

IAN: Come on.

[BOTH GROANING]

-[CLAIRE SQUEALS]
-[PANTING]

-[SPIRIT WAILS]
-You all right?

[GROWLING]

[SCREAMING]

Jumper!

No!

Ed, I'm so sorry.

-Don't worry. We'll rescue him.
-Oh, we will.

I swear on my life
I'll rescue Jumper

or die trying.

Isn't that kind of an empty promise?

Picky, picky, picky.

Well, I think it's safe
to say he came this-away.

But he's got to come back, right?

So maybe we set a trap here and then...

No more traps! It was a stupid idea.

What was stupid was falling into that pit.

Look, I just had dead people
breathing all over me,

-So don't...
-[CLEARS THROAT]

Now, nobody panic.
I know exactly what to do.

But what about us?

Well, there's gotta be
some advantage to being dead.

Enjoy your stay in prison.

Um, I don't suppose
you're gonna let us go

with just a stern talking to?

Because I, for one,
have totally learned my lesson.

POLICEMAN: Do you know why they
sealed up this mine in the first place?

-Natural gas leaks.
-Natural gas?

Seeps up through the ground.
You're lucky you didn't suffocate.

And we're all lucky
that little fire you started

didn't blow up the place.

We didn't start a fire.

POLICEMAN: Let's go. Let's go!

Okay, this time, I'm skipping right over

the "thank goodness you're alive"
part of the speech

And going directly to
"what do you think you were doing?"

We didn't do anything wrong.

Trespassing, arson,

Destruction of public property.

CLAIRE: I mean, besides that stuff.

Let's go.

You know,
this is the second time in two days

I've been called out
on account of your kids.

And I guarantee you
there will not be a third.

I'm taking them back to Boston
first thing in the morning.

-What?
-March.

CLAIRE: Dad, you can't!

Oh, yeah? Just watch me.

Seriously, Dad,
we didn't start that fire.

Who did, Zachariah Kull?

-IAN: How'd you know?
-RICHARD: Back in the car, Ian.

Not another word.

CLAIRE: Then I was trapped in this pit

where Zachariah keeps all the souls
that he's captured.

-So then he captured jumper, and...
-Jumper?

-The other ghost. The one in the jar.
-Oh, of course. Right.

If he hadn't sacrificed himself,

Claire might be lying
at the bottom of a pit right now.

So basically, you can't send us home

while Zachariah's still loose
and grandpa hasn't crossed over.

Wow. That is one pretty amazing story.

Come up with that all on your own?

[SIGHS] I knew he wouldn't believe us.

We're not making this up.

We're not acting out
or whatever it is you think we're doing.

We're doing this because we have to.

Because we care about
what happens to grandpa!

And apparently I don't?

Ian, caring is a two-way street,
And your grandfather...

What is it with the men
in this family?

You and grandpa could barely
say hello to each other.

You two are always fighting.
Knock it off!

We've got a lot more important things
to worry about.

You know, that's just the kind of thing
your mother would've said.

[expl*si*n]

What in the world
is going on out there?

Ian, get the hose.

Claire, get the fire extinguisher
in the kitchen.

IAN: Got it!

All right, not too close, son.
Not too close.

Take it easy. Atta boy.

I think we're all right, Claire.
I think we're all right.

That's it.

What kind of insane prank is that?

Dad, I don't think it was a prank.

[SIGHS]

Thanks a lot, guys.
I really appreciate it.

Yeah.

You know, I've spent more time in
the last three days talking to the police

than I did in the entire time
I grew up here,

and I was considered
something of a hooligan.

-You didn't tell them about...
-Uh, no.

They didn't mention
flame-throwing ghosts

as possible suspects,
and I wasn't about to suggest it.

But you know Zachariah started it?

Or any Pyro with a can of gasoline
and a match.

-Listen, I don't know who...
-Or what.

[SCOFFS] Started this,

but I don't like
people threatening my family.

Does that mean
we don't have to go home today?

-Consider this a reprieve.
-Yes!

Mm, on one condition:

I don't want you
getting into any more trouble.

Uh, could you be more specific?

IAN: Good thing he wasn't more specific.

That's about the tenth
no trespassing sign we've passed.

I know. Makes you suspicious, doesn't it?

Yeah. Of Warner.

We've got to find the remains
of Zachariah's cabin.

It's up here someplace.

I just want to see for myself.

All this legend of Zachariah Kull business
just isn't adding up.

Claire, in the past two days,
he's kidnapped our grandfather's soul,

thrown a fireball at us...

Captured Jumper...

the best partner a dead man ever had.

IAN: He even set a brush fire
in our front yard.

CLAIRE: I didn't say I liked the guy.

I just think
we'll never be able to stop him

if we don't know what he wants.

I have a guess...
The total destruction of the town

and all its inhabitants.

But why?

Has she always been this way?

As long as I can remember.

[MUTTERING]

CLAIRE: The librarian said
that when Zachariah's cabin blew up

It left a huge crater.

IAN: I think it's up here.

CLAIRE: It's here!

IAN: So this is what Warner wants
to turn into a tourist attraction?

COFFIN ED: Wait till you see the tourists.

And what exactly are we looking for?

[SIGHS] I'm not 100 percent positive.

Ah, okay. I'll shout out when I see it.

Yes! Look!

I will bet you my entire year's allowance

that there's some sort of pipe
at the bottom of this crater.

I don't usually advocate taking advantage
of the really stupid,

but you should take that bet.
That's free money.

[GASPS] It's here! Look!
I was right! I was right!

Ed, would you mind
telling me how deep it is?

You can't be serious!

[SCOFFS] Oh, all right, Missy.

I've done worse things.

Ah... and... [SCREAMS]

You hear something?

No, I think he's too far down.

[GROWLING]

-[SNARLING]
-Nice Doggie.

[COUGHS]

Okay, I lied.

That was the worst thing I ever did.

Uh, Ed... Do you think you could
distract him for a couple of minutes

While we run screaming through the forest?

Oh, very nice.
Exploiting the dead, eh?

All right, but you owe me one,
Okay? Big time.

-Come on then, pussycat. Come on, then.
-[SNARLING]

Want a little bit of this?
Come on, then.

Meow, meow, meow, meow.
Na-na-na-na-na!

[YELPS]

[WHINES]

This day just keeps getting
better and better.

[SCREAMING]

IAN: I think I have poison oak.

Calm down, I'm sure it's just a tick.

Look! That would fit perfectly
around that pipe!

And?

Welcome back. [CHUCKLES]
Are you two all right?

Well, I've got poison oak
or Lyme disease.

And I need some old newspapers
or county records...

Anything from around the time
that Zachariah Kull was alive.

That I can help you with.

The Steeple Falls Gazette has been
published continuously since 1797,

and I bound them all into books.

Need to finish up
some of your Grandpa's work, huh?

Grandpa's work?

Well, those are the exact same books

that you brought back to me
the other day,

so I... I figured that... that... that...

Well, now, that's... that's odd.

I'm sure that's where I put them.

Has anybody else
been looking at the books?

Just Warner.

Thank you.

CLAIRE: I know Warner took those books.

He was looking for them
the day of the funeral.

IAN: And grandpa
practically threw them at me that night.

I just can't imagine
what's in them, though.

Look! Warner's truck!

[WHIMPERS]

Hey, kids. You lookin' for me?

Oh, hi, Mr. MacDonald.
We were just looking at your dog.

Seems pretty wiped out.

Yeah, we had a little problem
with some trespassers

up on the hill this mornin'.

He just about ran himself silly.

Some people just don't know
when to stay away.

-What did you say?
-You heard me.

Well, I better get along.

Tonight's the big night,

and we still haven't finished
constructing the bonfire.

Hope you kids can make it.

We wouldn't miss it.

He doesn't scare me.

Hey, Jimmy, Johnny, you're lookin' good!

-Thanks, Pops!
-Hey, Pops!

CLAIRE: We have to find Warner's house.

We've got to see
what's in those books.

COFFIN ED:
Oy! Is the coast clear?

[SCOFFS]What are you doing?

[COUGHS]
Well, wishing he'd get a new muffler.

I didn't get a wink of sleep in there.

CLAIRE: According to the mailbox,
this is Warner's place.

IAN: Hurry up. We don't know when
Warner's gonna be back.

ED: Hmm, a classic spring lock

with, uh... six interlocking tumblers.

It's tough, but I've opened worse.

We don't want you to pick it.
Just go in there and open it.

Fine, but I'm surprised
you're adding breaking and entering

to your already burgeoning
criminal record.

It's not breaking and entering.
It's just entering if the door's unlocked.

-Hint.
-An artist cannot be rushed.

[GROANS]

I'd like to see David Copperfield do that.

Ian, you check upstairs.

Ed, take the basement.
I'll look around down here.

COFFIN ED: Oh, by all means,
Send the ghoul into the basement.

Got 'em!

They were under his bed, along with
some pretty vicious dust bunnies.

I hate to be
the bearer of bad news,

But... bad news. He's back.

See you in five to ten.

Out the back!

Bills, bills, bills...

Hello.

I thought people never locked their doors
in small towns!

Is there anybody there?

Let me do it!

[THUD]

[PANTING]

[SCREAMS] I knew it!

When I get my hands on those lousy kids,
I'm gonna...

-[SCREAMS]
-Oh! Warner. Sorry.

What are you doing here?

I came to ask you a couple questions
about Zachariah Kull.

Ha! More'n likely creating a diversion
so your kids can get away.

What are you...
what are you talking about?

My house has been broken into.

Well, that certainly doesn't mean
Ian and Claire had anything to do with it.

Well, those books are gone,
so I know it was your kids.

Books?

I'm gonna go and make sure
that those kids of yours are arrested.

Oh, well, come on, Warner.

I think you're overreacting.

Maybe you just misplaced them.

I didn't misplace them.

Get outta my way.

Can I offer you a ride?

Hi, kids. How was your afternoon?

Commit any grand larcenies that your
old man should know about?

-Dad, we can explain. We were just...
-Sit!

So these are the books, huh?

Dad, I think warner's the one who set
our driveway on fire.

-He warned me that...
-Ian!

Do you not get it?

You are in big trouble, so be quiet.

I think he did it, too.

Somebody broke into my house,
the last thing I'd check for

is a couple of library books.

Oh, don't get me wrong,
you're still in a lot of trouble.

Uh, hello?

Uh, help! Hello? Anybody out there?

It's jumper, remember?

Sucked up in mine. Need help.

Okay, I've got one word for you: gas.

Thanks for the warning.

No. I think that Zachariah tried
to drill a natural gas well,

and it blew up.

But the first natural gas well
wasn't drilled until, like, 1821.

It was 50 miles from here.

What? It's in Grandpa's book.

Okay, you're both scaring me,

And I have no idea
what either one of you are talking about.

We know that natural gas
seeps up out of the ground at coal hill.

I mean, it's why they
shut down the mine, right?

But Zachariah tried to dig a well...
to use it or store it or something.

That's what the pipe is doing
in the ground,

And the big crater is there because
that's where the whole thing blew up!

Zachariah wasn't crazy.
He didn't k*ll his wife.

He didn't burn down his house.
It was an accident!

And the point of this would be?

Zachariah's seeking revenge

because he was wrongly accused
of k*lling his wife

and was burned at the stake.

But what do the books
have to do with it?

That I'm not 100 percent clear on.

Thank you, Sherlock.

Here it is!

"Rebecca Kull,
wife of local inventor Zachariah Kull,

died last night in a devastating expl*si*n
that consumed their home."

Here's a picture of her.

"It is thought that Mr. Kull's
unnatural invention

was the cause of the blast."
"Unnatural invention"?

Who cares if Zachariah was innocent?
The only thing I care about is grandpa,

and no one seems to be doing
anything about it.

Well, we're doing everything
we can think of, son.

We should be calling
in the National Guard,

S.W.A.T. teams, anything!

Anything but sitting around
reading some stupid newspaper articles.

-Ian...
-You don't care about him!

You don't care about me!
All you care about is yourself!

-Do you want me to go after him?
-No.

It's okay.
He just needs some time to himself.

I know I did when I said
exactly the same thing to my father.

-Press harder, you're making three copies.
-IAN: Ed?

I'm surprised you made it this far.
There you go.

Where's Mariah?

Oh... Hi.

Oh, I was just down here
looking for my earring...

I lost my... oh! Look, it's right there.

It was right there the whole time.
I was looking...

Have you ever lost
something, and you're, like,

Your sunglasses are on your head.
You're... "Where's my...

-Oop! There they are!
-IAN: No.

Not ever?

If you meet a witch and she offers you
an apple, don't take it.

IAN: But why not?

Can't you see?
I have dead people who need me.

Sorry to make you wait.
Welcome to death. Enjoy yourself.

Are you hungry? You need a snack?
Oh, you hound dog.

Exactly, and my grandfather
who also happens to be dead needs you.

Aren't there people you can call?

Report to the big cheese and...

No, no, no. Listen, little alive boy.

Nobody is gonna report this
to anyone, okay?

Now, I might seem
all sugar and spice and fun,

but you do not want to see my bad side.

Don't even.

Fine, don't help!

Hey, when you get to the other side,
I need you to give somebody a message.

Oh, no, no, no. Look, kid,
I'm serious, okay?

If everybody just keeps their mouths shut,

Then I will finally be out of here
by next week,

-Okay? Shh! Good!
-IAN: What?

Nobody stays here very long,
except me.

You'd think after 250 years
I'd at least get a watch.

So you're just gonna abandon them while
you take a free ride to the other side?

Look, kid, I know you can't understand
how much this means to me.

But I am so close!

And all I want is
just to be on the other side

and be with my family.

Don't you think
all those lost souls want that, too?

Ugh!

Now, Zachariah has been
out there for over 200 years.

It's about time someone stopped him.

You'd be a hero.

They'd probably
call you over immediately...

Even apologize
for making you wait so long.

Well, they should.

[CHUCKLES] But you're probably
no match for Zachariah.

Oh, please. Are you kidding?

I could blast ol' dragon breath
through that portal

so fast it'd make his head spin.

Ed, hold the phones!

We're gonna save some souls!

What phones?

RICHARD: Old Zachariah
never even got a trial!

The hauled him into town the very next day
and set him ablaze.

His last words were,
"Wait for me, Rebecca."

He already knew that he wasn't going
to cross over.

What were the good people
of Steeple Falls afraid of, anyway?

CLAIRE: They thought he was
some sort of sorcerer,

but he was a visionary.

He was the first person to harness
natural gas for his lights and stuff.

But he was also different.

People are afraid of what
they don't understand.

Do you think Warner knows the truth?

If people knew the real story,

that would take some of the steam
out of his scary little festival.

Then once everyone knows
the truth about Zachariah,

he won't have to stick around.

I'm sure that's all he ever wanted.

Well, that sounds kinda logical
for a flame-throwing force of evil.

-Dad.
-But it's worth a shot. Let's go.

[CHEERING]

Uh, hello? [CLEARS THROAT]
It's Jumper! Help!

Hello? Anybody out there?

Any chance of getting
a little lemonade in here?

Hey, Skeletor!

Now, is it me,
or has he been working out?

[GROWLS]

I see you didn't learn your lesson
the first time.

You thought we were just gonna let you
go on stealing souls?

I'll do as I please.

And right now,
there's a little festival in my honor,

which I must attend.

So, if you'll excuse me...

[GRUNTS]

Zachariah Kull, I presume.

[CHEERING]

CLAIRE: I don't see Warner anywhere!

Yeah, and no Ian.
I really thought he would be here.

-Bye-bye-bye!
-Bye-bye-bye!

Hey, Warner!

Hey, Richard!

We need you to tell people
the truth about Zachariah Kull.

The truth?

People need to know
that he was innocent,

that his wife died
in a horrible accident,

and that he was ex*cuted
for a crime he didn't commit.

Everything is in these books
you didn't want anyone to see.

I knew you stole those books.

Okay, okay, fine.
Have us all arrested.

Listen, are you gonna tell everyone,
or are we?

[LAUGHS] Why do you care?

I mean he's... he's a myth,
a legend, a ghost story.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Who cares if he was innocent or not?
He's dead and gone!

Actually, he's kidnapped
my grandfather's soul,

so it really is kind of important.

Listen, Zachariah Kull is
the perfect villain.

He's the person that people love to hate.

Fine. We'll do it without you.

-Not if I can help it!
-No!

[LAUGHS]

So, Zachy,
we can do this the easy way,

-or the hard way.
-[LAUGHS]

We aren't leaving here
until you free those souls!

[GROWLS]

Ah-ah-ah-choo!

[GROANING]

Oh, you didn't think
they'd leave me in charge

without a few tricks up these
raggedy chiffon sleeves, did you? Huh?

I only took those souls who didn't want
to cross over to the other side,

who had unfinished business
to attend to, like me.

What about Jumper?

What kind of a name
is that, anyway? Jumper. But...

His life force has proven to be
particularly useful.

[GRUNTING]

Wait, wait.
Is that whole fiery, uh...

-Snot...
-...nasal thing new?

Because I did not read it
in any reports, people!

[GRUNTING]

In the words of the immortal bard,
am-scray!

[IAN SCREAMS]

[CHUCKLES]

[SCREAMS]

[IAN PANTING]

I'm too old to die again!

RICHARD: It was a long shot, Claire.

I don't know that those books

would have changed
people's opinions of Zachariah.

Come on. We got to find Ian.

[ZACHARIAH SCREAMS]

I think 200 years of rage
are about to be let loose.

[GROWLS]

Stay back, Claire.
I'm gonna grab Warner.

-[CROWD SCREAMING]
-[GRUNTING]

Warner!

[CHUCKLING]

Why don't you run, little one?

Because I know the truth!
I know you didn't k*ll your wife.

I know about the well.
I know about everything!

Then you also know why
I finally have to destroy this town.

Start talking!

Yeah, yeah, listen! I'm sorry!

Everything's gonna be different!

We'll have the festival
in your name!

Ha ha! I'll have another son,
and I'll name him after you!

RICHARD: What else?

I knew you were innocent
before we started the festival!

I guess I just never
thought you'd mind!

Guess again.

[GRUNTS]

[CHUCKLES WEAKLY]

But you're not this man, Zachariah!

-You're an inventor, a creator.
-[GROWLS]

Well, what about Rebecca?

You told her to wait for you.

How much longer
is she going to have to wait?

You focused so much energy
on anger and hate,

You forgot what you loved.

REBECCA: [WHISPERING] Zachariah.

Zachariah.

Zachariah.

I love you.

Rebecca.

Rebecca...

You got what you really wanted...

The truth!

[PEOPLE MURMURING]

You did it! You did it!

Dad!

Ian!

Look! They're free.

He let them all go!

[TOWNSPEOPLE GASPING]

You know, I'm not usually
a festival kind of guy,

but that one was pretty decent.

Yeah. Though I was kinda bummed
the Ferris wheel burned down.

All I wanna do is take a long, hot bath

and carve my pumpkin... [SCREAMS]

Claire, what is it?

-Grandpa?
-Hi.

Sorry to startle you.

Dad?

H...h...how is this possible?

You're still asking that after tonight?

Do they know you're here?

I have a reprieve.

A nice lady at the center
said you arranged this. Thanks.

Any time.

And thanks for the books.
They were a big help.

Books? I just wanted your father
to see the box behind them.

Thought he might figure it out

without my having
to hang around so long.

Uh... Figure what out?

I just want to say
how proud I am of you.

RICHARD: Are you kidding?

That's why you stayed behind?

You were a smart kid,
but all you ever wanted to do

was hang around
with your stupid old man.

Dad...

All I ever wanted for you

was to get out of this town,
see the world,

use your gifts.

I was so worried
about your future,

I... kind of lost
track of your present.

And as different
as I thought you were,

Looks like you're makin'
all the same mistakes.

Not anymore.

Bye, Gramps.

We'll miss you.

So... Do you have to rush off?

Nah. Eternity can wait a couple of hours.

Scared? Ha! I wasn't scared.

I was just bidin' my time,

waitin' for the right
moment to make my move,

And you know I got moves.
[YELPS]

Zachariah Kull. He ain't so bad.

Crossed over just like everybody else,
one leg at a time.

That's right. I'm just surprised they
haven't bounced him back.

[GRUNTS, PANTS]

Well, it's official.

My posting has been extended...

indefinitely.

Thank you.

You'll be out before
the next millennium.

Didn't capturing Zachariah and freeing
all those souls count for anything?

Well, apparently, the rather public
spectacle outweighed the benefits.

It's okay, though.
No, I'm fine. No... I'm good.

No, no, sit. I'm just gonna go back
and do what I do every single day.

-I'll be over here.
-I'm really sorry.

But, hey, we'll come and hang out.

That is, if the living are welcome.

Hey, aren't you guys
going back to Boston?

Nope. Dad said we could stay.

Apparently, he wants
to get in touch with his roots,

Not to mention he loves the neighborhood.

[SOBS]

I'm gonna have this job forever.

[WAILS]

Scream team
Everybody

Put your hands together
Cover your eyes

Get ready for a big surprise

Spirits in a bottle
Ghosts in the machine

Walkin' on water,
floatin' on a dream

If you see 'em comin'
You better start runnin'

With the scream team

Better start runnin'

Want to treat or trick it?

You know you gotta kick it
with the scream team

Better start running

With the scream team

Hey, guys.

Don't worry. I'm almost done.

Okay. Came out to see
if you needed any help.

Uh... sure.
The scooper part keeps jamming.

Oh. Let's take a look.

Hmm. All right.

Now try it.

All right, Dad!

Huh?

[SCREAMS, LAUGHS]

I think this is why
I went into medicine.

Scream everybody

Scream

[LAUGHING]

Scream everybody

Scream

There are certain advantages
to being dead.