[man] The Overworld,
the biggest sandbox
in the universe,
is full of epic tales.
Millions and billions of them.
Well, guess what?
This one is all mine.
[hawk screeches]
My name is Steve.
And as a child, I
yearned for the mines.
[growling]
[Steve] But it didn't
really work out.
Go on! Get out of here!
- Mommy!
- [Steve] So, I did a terrible thing.
[miner] Go on! Shoo!
- [Steve] I grew up.
- [miner] Run!
- [phones ringing]
- [Steve] Yep, that's me.
Same shirt, same pants.
The only thing
missing, was my soul.
{\an8}- What was I doing with my life?
- [sighs heavily]
{\an8}I wasn't meant to
sell doorknobs.
And then one day, I
remembered something!
[cackles]
[gasping]
[Steve, singsong] That's right!
The mines!
So I geared up to dig deeper
and find out what
I'd been missing.
And this time, I
was unstoppable.
[growling]
- [yells]
- [shouting]
Head fake! Oh, yeah.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- My moment had finally come.
- Yeah.
I could just taste
the adventure!
So, I mined my brains out.
Until I found two
mysterious artifacts.
This thingy...
- And that cool thingy.
- Ohhh...
And when I put those
two thingies together...
[energy pulsing]
- ...you guessed it.
- [gasping]
It opened a portal
to another world.
[echoing] The Overworld!
[sheep bleating]
[gasps]
This place blew my mind.
[yelping]
I'd never seen anything like it.
[bleating loudly]
Whoa!
Turns out it was the place I'd
been looking for my whole life.
A world where anything
you can imagine,
you can create!
[exclaiming]
This is my first house.
Bam!
- My second house.
- Pshh!
And my third house, made
entirely of sheep's wool.
Pink house!
Life was good.
- [thumping on door]
- [shrieking]
Except at night, which happens
about every 20 minutes.
[zombies moaning]
It was times like these
I wished I had a friend.
[wolf howling]
And then I heard it. The
howl of companionship.
[growling]
Actually, it was a wolf
that wanted to eat me.
So I tamed him with
a crusty femur bone.
- Maybe a bone, huh?
- Yeah.
- Hoo-hoo!
- [friendly yelp]
Attaboy...
- [barks]
- ...Dennis.
He like a scratchy-scratch
on the nariz.
Dennis, yeah.
Dennis and I were inseparable.
- [barks]
- We did everything together.
[Steve whoops]
- [Dennis barking]
- We built endless masterpieces.
The more I built,
the better I got.
[Steve] Dennis, check it out!
♪ Welcome to Steve's ♪
Ohh! Yeah!
♪ I feel alive ♪
Lucky for me, pandas
love to party.
And cows.
♪ I feel alive ♪
- Life was perfect.
- [barking playfully]
And the years simply flew by.
- [low rumbling]
- [wind hissing]
- [Dennis barking]
- [gasping]
Until one day, I came across
- some strange ruins.
- [Dennis whimpers]
And a conveniently placed chest.
Ha-hah!
Flint and steel.
Whoa!
[joyful shout]
[barks]
Dennis!
No, Dennis.
- [echoing shouts]
- [loud rumbling]
[Steve] Turns out we'd
just opened a portal
to a totally new dimension.
[pigs grunting, squealing]
The Nether.
There was no joy or
creativity at all.
[pig screeching]
- Just a mindless lust for gold.
- [Dennis howls]
Dennis!
These piglin brutes had mined
this realm into oblivion,
led by Malgosha,
the evil piglin sorceress
who ruled the place.
Who are you, and why
are you so round?
Leave the dog! Take me instead.
No, thanks. I'll
take both of you.
And that Orb.
Let's get one thing straight.
Where I come from,
we call this a cube.
Seize them!
[Steve] Malgosha had finally
got what she'd always wanted,
- the Orb of Dominance.
- [cackling]
[Steve] The most
powerful cube-shaped orb
in the entire universe.
Listen up, you pigs!
With this Orb, I will
pillage the Overworld,
and all its gold will
be ours! [cackling]
[Steve] I couldn't
let this happen.
The Overworld had saved me,
and now I had to try to save it.
We have to stop her, Dennis.
So we escaped!
And stole back the Orb!
[warning horn blasting]
[Malgosha] The
Roundling got away!
Find him and bring me that Orb!
Hurry, Dennis.
Take this to Earth.
Follow my scent to
You got that, boy?
- [affirmative growl]
- Good boy.
You're the last
hope for this world.
- Now, run! Go, boy!
- [Dennis barking]
Run, fluff nugget!
You got this,
Dennis, I love you!
Run!
Get off of me!
[barks]
[Steve] Dennis was
a hero that day.
He ran like the wind.
I didn't know if I'd
ever see him again,
but we had a world to save.
- [flesh sizzling]
- [squealing in pain]
[Steve] So he ran all the
way back to my house on Earth
and hid the most powerful
object in existence
under my waterbed.
{\an8}As long as the Orb stays hidden,
{\an8}the Overworld will be safe.
[howling]
[Steve] Wait a second. Putting it
under my waterbed's a horrible plan.
["When I'm Gone" by
Dirty Honey playing]
{\an8}Yeah.
{\an8}[man on TV] In the late 1980s,
{\an8}Garrett Garrison took the
gaming world by storm...
{\an8}[bell chiming]
{\an8}...becoming the undisputed
champion of the hit arcade game,
{\an8}Hunk City Rampage.
{\an8}Yeah!
{\an8}[man on TV] His mastery
of this two player co-op
{\an8}shocked the world.
{\an8}His effective use of
the garbage toss move
{\an8}earned him the nickname,
"The Garbage Man."
{\an8}Pretty soon, he became
{\an8}the envy of the gaming world
{\an8}after landing a lucrative deal
{\an8}with Sizzler.
{\an8}- Yeah!
- [game plays fanfare]
{\an8}Whoo!
{\an8}Yeah, baby!
{\an8}Garbage Man!
{\an8}[mimicking punches]
{\an8}Yeah, baby!
{\an8}[man on TV] One
thing's for sure...
{\an8}[grunts] Yeah!
{\an8}- [people cheering]
- ...this kid had it all.
{\an8}- Yeah!
- Time to take out the trash.
{\an8}Yeah!
{\an8}Mmm... Boo-rah!
{\an8}[bell chimes]
{\an8}Garrett "The Garbage
Man" Garrison?
{\an8}No autographs.
{\an8}Have a nice day.
{\an8}- [door opens]
- [bell chimes]
{\an8}[groans]
{\an8}[sighs]
["When I'm Gone" playing]
[song ends]
{\an8}Whoo! Yeah! Super cool!
{\an8}[door shuts]
Garrett "The Garbage Man."
To what do we owe this pleasure?
Pleasure?
Think I come to storage
auctions for fun?
I'm a businessman, Daryl.
An investor.
Well, I'm about to shovel some
coal into your choo-choo train.
You're gonna love
this next unit.
It's got a waterbed.
It's got some pickaxes.
It's got a huge
can of mixed nuts.
It's got an array of
unisex turquoise blouses.
That sounds terrible.
I think it's also got
a 1978 Atari Cosmos.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's what it says here.
Those things are worth
a frickin' fortune.
Heck yeah they are.
Bro, if you make
this happen for me,
I will strongly consider
hanging out with you.
- You serious, bro?
- Yep.
Two big buffaloes like us
out there, in the wild,
wearing unisex
turquoise blouses.
Oh, boy, that's gonna
cause a commotion.
The ladies aren't
gonna know what...
Listen, if you could keep the
hammer price under a hundy,
I'll make all your weird
fanboy dreams come true.
Okay?
Two loose cannons,
wearing turquoise blouses.
Yeah. Let's do it.
[Daryl] And we got 500
dollars, 500 dollars over here.
We got 500 dollars. We
got six, do we have six?
Do we have 600 dollars? We
got 600 dollars over here.
I'll go over here, 700
dollars, we got 700 dollars.
We got 700 dollars here. We
got 800 dollars over here.
- [sighs]
- We got 850. Do we hear 850?
Do we... 850 over here.
Do we hear any more?
Do we hear 900? 900?
Nine hundred, going
once, 900 going twice.
And 900 going three times.
And sold to hometown hero,
Garrett "The Garbage Man"
Garrison, for 900 dollars.
[Garrett] I wouldn't cash
that for about six months.
What?
[whoops] Come to papa! Cosmos!
Whoo! [blows]
[orb chiming softly]
[Garrett] Daryl? Where is it?
I'm sorry. I didn't
check the box.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa...
- [Garrett] Where's the Atari?
- Whoa!
- There's no Atari in here!
That does not mean you
can trash this unit!
[Garret grunts loudly]
I'm up against it, man, I'm...
[panting]
Oh, no. My store.
My wrists aren't what
they used to be. I just...
[panting]
I need a win, man. I need...
I need a win.
When are you gonna stop
looking for treasure
inside a storage unit...
and recognize that
the real treasure...
...is inside your heart?
[sighs deeply]
[Daryl] Let's roll, everyone.
This man has no respect
for the storage community.
Daryl.
["I Remember You"
by Skid Row playing]
Oh, man.
[chiming softly]
[shouting along with music]
[radiator pops]
Oh, no!
Oh, man!
What the frick?
[screaming]
Look, Chuglass was not
my first choice either,
but it was Mom's dying
wish for us to live here.
Or at least that's
how I interpreted it.
Yeah, I read something online.
This place sucks.
Anyways, rent is super low,
and I've got a
full-time gig here,
so it's not really an offer
we can turn down right now.
[boy] Yeah, I get it.
Look, I think you're
really gonna like it here.
What's going on with that dude?
[screaming and sobbing]
[girl] Oh my gosh,
Henry, we're in Chuglass.
Say hi to Chuggy the Chip.
[girl] All right. This
is the new neighborhood.
[Henry] When was
this house built?
[laughing] It's so
nice to meet you.
Yeah, nice to meet you.
Uh, your new bosses
sent you this.
Oh...
Yeah, people love working
at the potato chip factory.
Yeah, well, I'm, uh,
I'm running their
socials for a little bit.
I said I'd get their
follower count past 75.
Nice! You must be Henry.
Nice to meet you. I'm Dawn.
Hi. Why is there an alpaca
hanging out of your car?
[animals bleat]
[Dawn] Well, real estate's
not my only hustle.
I also do some mobile
zoo stuff on the side.
Anyhoo, I gotta run.
Call me if you need anything.
{\an8}Also... I'm really
sorry about your mom.
{\an8}It's really brave
what you're doing.
I hope you know that.
Thank you.
- [alpaca braying loudly]
- Chill out, man. I'm coming.
Golly!
[sighs]
[Natalie] Henry,
breakfast is ready.
[Henry] I'm coming.
Check it out.
I made you Mom's signature
Tater Tot breakfast pizza.
So you can hand out
slices on your first day.
I thought you wanted
me to seem normal.
I do.
I'm just trying to help you out.
I got you some body spray.
Signature scents are huge here.
[Henry] Velvet Mischief?
You're gonna want to spray
it and then walk into it.
Don't be too direct.
It's really powerful.
- Okay.
- Love you.
Love you, too. [sniffs]
Smells like banana
bread and poo.
[bell chimes]
[exhales]
[orb chiming softly]
[Henry] Your
store's really cool.
Yeah, I know.
Looking for anything
in particular?
Nah, just checking
some stuff out.
Non-committal. Classic
loser mentality.
I can help.
I'm starting a
mentorship program
for people who want to
win at the game of life.
- Fifty bucks an hour.
- Cool.
How do you actually win at life?
[scoffs] That's literally the
answer I charge money for.
Tots. What's with
the breakfast pizza?
My sister made it.
I'm supposed to hand out slices
at school to make friends.
A little desperate for
day one, don't you think?
I also notice that you're
wearing Velvet Mischief.
It's a wonderful cologne.
And I strongly believe
that every young man
should have his own
signature scent.
[sniffs]
I didn't think I
applied very much.
Listen, I'm gonna give
you a hot Garbage tip.
Friendship is like a puzzle.
Sometimes you think you need
lots of pieces to be cool.
And sometimes it's just
one piece to be cool.
And people will be like,
"That's not a puzzle,
that's a picture."
And they have a
right to speak, too.
Any questions?
Yeah. Quite a few, actually.
Listen, kid. The point is,
there's no "I" in team.
But there are two in winning.
Okay, well, I
gotta go to school.
Whatever, nerd. Just
leave the pizza.
[class bell ringing]
[woman] All right. Let's
put this nametag on.
Uh, why does it have
an exclamation point?
[chuckles] Oh, Henry, we're
just so thrilled to have you.
You know, you're the first
student to enroll here,
ever since that article came
out about the school rankings.
{\an8}Anyway, I'm Vice
Principal Marlene,
and I'm an open book.
You probably heard that
my husband, Clemente,
recently divorced me.
And to be honest, I expected
it to hurt more than it does.
You know, the fire went out
on our marriage 20 years ago,
but we stuck it
out for the dogs.
{\an8}Okay, let's get you
to your first class.
[class bell ringing]
[teacher] Good morning.
Just a little
something about myself.
I teach gym, I teach art.
Financially, I'm living
in a nightmare, okay?
I wouldn't wish my
life on my worst enemy.
Last year, I claimed 4,000
dollars on my tax return.
So in the summer, I do clams
and oysters down by the airport.
But most of my money is tied up
in a drone kiosk at the mall.
Okay, today we're
gonna do a still life.
One orange, one banana.
Let's get after it, people.
{\an8}["Change Song" by
Dayglow playing]
[teacher] What is this?
Don't you know what
a still life is?
It means you just
draw the thing.
Do the assignment next time.
- [book thuds]
- [class giggling]
That jetpack would never work.
It's kind of foolproof,
actually. It's just math.
My dad said math
has been debunked.
Check it out. New kid thinks
he's a rocket scientist.
[laughter]
I'd love to be a
rocket scientist.
So prove it.
[song resumes]
[song ends]
[students cheering, laughing]
[whistle blows nearby]
All right. Count us down, guys.
[all] Five, four,
three, two, one!
[kids exclaiming]
Okay, so I know that
we're all very excited
about the new rebrand,
but I don't think you should
call your party
bags, "Salt Sacks."
- [jetpack roaring, whistling]
- [all exclaiming]
- [loud booming]
- [people shouting]
- [loud, metallic creaking]
- [panting]
Chuggy!
Oh, no!
[car alarms ringing in distance]
I was never here, okay?
Well, the good news
is nobody died.
I'm sorry, okay?
It was an accident.
This could be grounds
for expulsion, Henry.
I need you to call
your guardian.
[sighs]
[line ringing]
{\an8}[Garrett] Game Over World.
{\an8}Hey, uh, Mr. Garbage
Man, it's Henry.
{\an8}The kid with the Tater
Tot breakfast pizza?
{\an8}[Garrett] Oh, yeah.
- [fly buzzing fitfully]
- I have a weird favor to ask.
Uh, could you come to my school
and pretend to be my uncle?
No way. I don't do
that stuff anymore.
I have 26 bucks.
["We Gotta Party"
by Jag Team playing]
- [tires screeching]
- [motor revving]
Hi, I'm Henry's uncle.
You?
The Trash Bag?
It's actually "Garbage Man."
Garbage Man, huh?
You can bag me up and take
me to the curb anytime.
But you gotta bungee the lid
'cause I got a lot
of raccoons in there.
Whoever divorced you
is a complete idiot.
[motor rumbles]
[tires screeching]
[song ends]
[Henry] I just don't get
it. It should have worked.
The math is right.
But I probably just
cost my sister her job.
Oh, wow.
You're super creative.
Hey, since you're
going to juvie,
you mind if I get
this flyer back?
Paper don't grow
on trees, and...
not really allowed
in Kinko's anymore.
Well, you can have my book, too.
'Cause I'm done with it.
So what's this stupid junk?
Who cares?
Probably some new age bullcrap.
I could let it go for like 950.
I wonder what it does.
Hey. Instructions.
"Never, under any circumstances,
combine the Orb and Crystal."
[chortles]
[energy thrumming]
[Garrett] Uh, wait...
"Do not follow this Orb,
even if you're a
struggling business owner
and need a ton of cash fast
because there's loads
of treasure down here."
[stammering] Hey, dude. Dude?
It feels like it
wants to go somewhere.
- [energy pulsing loudly]
- [Garrett] What?
- [goats bleating]
- [Dawn grunts]
I'm sorry. I tried everything.
I didn't know who else to call.
No, it's okay. What's going on?
Henry's missing. I
tried the school.
I tried his phone
a million times.
He's not answering.
He was supposed to
be home hours ago.
I thought he'd still
be in detention
for blowing up Chuggy The Chip.
- That was him?
- Give me your phone.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, I
can't believe this.
We're here for one day, and
he's already the town villain.
- [phone chimes]
- Got him!
He's fine. He's just playing
in an abandoned mineshaft.
- [alpaca shrieks nearby]
- What?
Come on. I'll drive.
You can feed Mr. Scribbles
this busted carrot
if you wanna keep that
pretty face of yours.
- [Mr. Scribbles gurgling]
- [Dawn] Hop in.
Okay.
[Garrett] You go first.
I'll cover your six.
[Henry] Yeah, yeah. I got you.
[Garrett] Danger. Whatever.
[panting]
[whimpering]
[Henry] Whoa.
[Garrett] Whoa.
- [Natalie] Henry!
- Oh, gosh!
What are you doing down here?
- Who's this guy?
- He's my new mentor.
Who, me? Oh.
[Natalie] I'm sorry. What?
Hey, guys! Guys!
- [orb chiming, pulsing]
- It's pulling me, guys.
- [groans, yells]
- Whoa!
Oh, Henry!
[groaning]
[all shouting]
Henry, let go of that thing!
[Henry yelling]
[grunts]
[groans]
[yelling, grunting]
[groans]
[screams, grunts]
[yells]
[both grunt]
Oh, man, my butt. My butt.
- [Dawn groaning]
- [Natalie grunts]
[sighs]
[Garrett] Yep.
We're not in Idaho anymore.
I think this is Wyoming.
Wait, who are you again?
Garrett "The Garbage
Man" Garrison.
Gamer of the Year, 1989.
Whatever. I barely
think about it.
[sheep bleating]
What the heck?
[bleating]
[Garrett] Oooh.
If that's what I think it is,
it could be our
first quest giver.
[retches]
I'll do the talking.
[Garrett] All right, yeah!
- [Natalie] Henry!
- [Dawn] Yeah, Henry!
Come on back here.
[Natalie] What are you doing?
Hmm.
Hmmm...
Huh-huh.
Uh-huh...
[roaring]
[piglins snorting, grunting]
[Malgosha] Listen up, you swine!
[piglin squeals]
[Malgosha] If you
can't find more gold,
I'll just send you to
the Overworld to zombify.
[leaping grunt]
[piglin babbling quietly]
[Malgosha] You!
What are you making?
Come closer. It's all right.
Come on. I'm not gonna bite you.
[whimpering fearfully]
Oh! How pretty.
But how will that help
me find more gold?
[squeaks]
Oops.
Huh?
What?
Well, looky what we have here.
[curious grunts]
[cackling]
Our time has come.
[seething]
[metallic clinking]
[blowing]
[Malgosha] Roundling!
Malgosha!
Was I unclear when I said
no one was to waste
time on art or leisure?
- [guard squeaks]
- [Steve yelps]
- [gasps]
- The Orb has returned.
It can't be.
Dennis?
You stole it from me, and
now you will retrieve it.
It would be a
privilege, my liege.
We're going to unbind you now.
Don't do anything stupid.
[scoffs] Of course not.
You can trust this
little dungeon pup.
Let me just... Sneak
attack... [gasps]
Go ahead. Strike me down.
My piglins will make a meal
of your beautiful wolf.
How do I know you're
telling the truth?
There's only one
way to find out.
The Orb for your
little dog's life.
[piglin guards guffawing]
[tense grunt]
Hah-rr...
Huh.
- [Dennis barks]
- Hrr...
- Hm?
- [barking]
Mm-hm.
[bleats]
Hola, wise Quest Giver.
We humbly seek gold.
Give us a quest that will
lead us to your treasure load.
Garbage Man, I work
in the animal field,
and I am telling you, that thing
doesn't understand a
word you're saying.
Shh...
- We're talking.
- [sheep bleating]
Sorry about that.
What were you saying?
Okay. Come on, Henry.
We're going home.
[howling]
That feel quick to anyone else?
[bleating] Yeah.
All right, everyone.
- Stay calm.
- [panting]
Relaje.
Free Garbage tip.
Fear is just weakness
hijacking your body's c*ck.
- [faint rattling]
- What in the hell?
And if that happens, you
can say vaya con Dios
to your body plane's
navigation system.
What?
Yeah, Garbage Man isn't
speaking English or español.
[guttural chittering]
[whimpering] What
am I doing here?
[skeletons shrieking]
[screaming]
[all shrieking]
[Dawn] Run!
[Henry] Garrett!
I'm sorry! Dead dudes can't
win Gamer of the Year!
[yelps, grunts]
[repeatedly grunting]
[defeated moan]
[all screaming]
[yelping]
[skeletons shrieking]
[all continue screaming]
[grunting]
- [gasps]
- Henry!
[Henry] Whoa!
[zombies groaning]
- [Natalie] Oh!
- Yo! We got a zombie problem!
We need to go right now!
[Natalie] Henry, come on!
[Dawn] It's not a
good time to stop.
Henry! Hurry up!
[chuckles]
[Garrett screaming]
[grunting]
- [skeletons clatter menacingly]
- [yelling]
[Henry grunting]
How's he doing that?
I don't know, but it might work.
[Natalie] This way! Faster!
[Dawn] You got this.
- Go, Henry!
- Don't slow down, boy.
Don't you slow down!
You can do this!
[Natalie] Keep going, Henry!
Come on, come on! Quickly!
Faster, faster, faster! Come on!
[hissing]
[thudding]
[sinister hissing]
[sparking softly]
[squeaky chirp]
[Garrett inhaling tensely]
- [yelps]
- [squeaky chittering]
[booming thuds]
[squeaking]
Oh, my gosh. I'm so sor...
[shrieks, grunts]
[coughing groan]
- [zombies moaning]
- [sheep bleating]
[sheep screaming]
[screaming] Henry!
Help me, please! Henry!
Garrett! Garrett, over here!
[Henry] Garrett!
[Natalie] What are you doing?
They're right behind you!
- Up here!
- [Henry] Garrett, over here!
[Dawn] Oh, no!
That can't be good!
You idiot. Run!
- [Dawn] Watch out!
- [Natalie] Hit it and run!
[shrieking] Open the door!
- [zombies growl]
- [all screaming]
Hai! Go away!
- [yelling]
- [zombie groans]
[Dawn] Come on! Let's push
that booger-looking box-head!
[Henry yelling]
Oh, man. Oh, boy!
Oh! You're movi... Oh!
Hank! Oh, man.
Oh, man, no!
[high-pitched screaming]
- [muffled yell]
- [both grunt]
[Garret groans]
- [Henry grunting]
- [zombies growling]
[creeper hissing]
[both yelling]
[screaming]
[all shrieking]
[all crying,
whimpering, screaming]
[screaming stops]
[zombie gurgles, groans]
["Lil Boo Thang" by
Paul Russell playing]
[Garrett shrieks]
[Steve yells]
[grunting aggressively]
Whooo! [yells]
[all whimper]
[grunting]
Kyaa! Hyaa!
- [yells]
- [gurgling gasp]
Ha-hah! Taste it!
- [arm splats]
- [blows]
- [fist rattles]
- Skyy-ah!
- Sneak attack!
- [both grunt explosively]
[Garrett yelps]
[zombie growls]
Uh-oh...
[zombie flesh sizzling]
- [grunts]
- [zombies wailing]
Huh?
[Steve cackles]
[zombies howling]
- Ha-hah!
- [song ends]
[Dawn exhales]
Who are you?
I...
...am Steve.
[cow moos in distance]
Who are you people?
Where's Dennis?
Dennis? Who's... We
don't know any Dennis.
Then how'd you get that?
Hey. Relaje, muchacho.
This is my property.
Do you even know what that is?
It's the Orb of Dominance.
It's a cube.
Okay. [exasperated shout]
You people seriously
have no idea what
you're dealing with.
Hand it over and
no one gets hurt.
No way!
Okay, we need this
thing to get home.
I hate to take a big, fat
dumparoo on your plans,
but you can't get home.
W-W-Wait. What do you
mean we can't get home?
Not without the Earth Crystal.
You mean that little boxy
thing? Garbage Man busted it.
Nuh-uh.
Listen, Henry, why
don't you hold this?
You got those good
Frodo vibes, kid.
I got Frodo vibes.
Are you implying that
we're stuck here?
Yes!
Unless you get
the Earth Crystal.
It's your only way home.
There's only one way you
could ever replace it,
at the Woodland Mansion,
but going there would
get you all k*lled!
Well, so would staying here.
Fair enough.
Listen, I can get you home,
but then you gotta
give me that Orb.
So, what are you
gonna do with it?
None of your concern!
So, what do you say?
Do we have a deal?
He did just k*ll,
like, 20 zombies.
Pfft! More like 15, but okay.
All right, Steve.
Under two conditions.
One, always address me,
because I'm the leader.
Two, if you double-cross us...
[mimics punching noise]
...I will crack your cabeza with
my butt cheeks like a walnut.
[sighing] This guy
is such a toolbag.
- [Dawn] I'm so sorry.
- [grunts]
We just met this man,
and he's not the leader.
Hmm!
Well, it looks like
Dr. Swollenstein here
just got himself a deal.
[manly grunts]
Ooh.
[menacing grunt]
Oh, my God.
[Steve] All right.
First we need to
load up on some gear,
or we're all gonna die.
Let's go to Midport Village.
This guy's lost his mind.
[Steve] Move out!
[horn blaring]
- Harr.
- [horn honks]
[horn blowing]
Hurrr...
- Mm-hm!
- [horn blares]
[prolonged scream, groan]
- Hrrr...
- [Marlene] Oh, no. Not again.
- [groans]
- [Marlene] Oh!
I am so sorry.
Oh, my God. Are you
all right? Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Are you all right?
Your head is huge.
Harr...
You're not gonna
sue me, are you?
Because everyone wants to sue me
once I hit them with
my Jeep Grand Cherokee.
- Hurr.
- Oh, my.
How about this? What if I
just take you to dinner?
Would you like to go to dinner?
Huh.
[Steve] Here it is.
Midport Village.
I got a secret
stash of elite loot
that'll help us survive
the Woodland Mansion.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
who are these guys?
Oh, these dudes?
They're the villagers.
They're total pacifists
and vegetarians.
You don't bug them,
they won't bug you.
They just like to chill, trade,
and eat buttloads of bread.
They love crushing loaf.
So they built all this?
[Steve] Yeah, most of it.
But the good stuff you
see, that's all Steve.
Whoa. Is he some kind of king?
[Steve] No.
That's a legend.
Kid, anything you
can dream about here,
you can make.
Zero limits. You know
what I'm talking about.
- That was your tower, right?
- Yeah.
Pretty k*ller for a first build.
- [metallic growling]
- [screams]
Relax. It's just an Iron Golem.
Local security force.
[metallic grunt]
But they're a bunch
of big softies!
[metallic scoff]
Unless you start messing
with the villagers.
Don't ever do that!
This place makes no sense.
[Steve] Come with me!
[Garrett] Yo, I need
protein, like, pronto.
[Steve] I got just
the place, buddy.
[chickens squawking]
[Steve] Hello there.
Whoo-hoo!
Oh, dude, I got goose pimples
just walking up on it.
You ever wonder what happens
when you mix hot
lava and chicken?
I did, and you're
about to find out.
[scoffs]
Uh-oh!
- [bell chimes]
- [squawks]
- [sizzling]
- Mm?
You hear that?
That's the sound of sizzle-een.
- [chuckles]
- [Steve] Mm-hm.
- Smell that smell.
- [jangly beat playing]
♪ La-la-la-lava ♪
♪ Ch-ch-ch-chicken ♪
♪ Steve's Lava Chicken
Yeah, it's tasty as hell ♪
♪ Ooh, mamacita Now
you're ringing the bell ♪
♪ Crispy and juicy Now
you're having a snack ♪
♪ Ooh, super spicy
It's a lava attack! ♪
[bell dings]
[sizzling]
I have a small business too.
But one thing I try to do is
not have my jingle suck butt.
- [sizzling]
- [yelping]
[snorts, spits] Friggin' loser.
- [gibbers, gasping]
- Pass the bird, turkey.
I'm not a little wimp
like big Steve here.
I crave heat. And I crave pain.
Garrett, wait!
Hear my words.
That chicken was just
cooked in hot lava.
Let it cool down, man.
Mm-hm.
[snorts]
[growls]
Not bad.
[mouth sizzling]
[whimpers]
Garbage Man... you're
a big-time idiot.
[piglins grunting, squealing]
[Malgosha] What is it?
- [oinking urgently]
- [Malgosha] What?
[angry grunt]
General Chungus! Get over here.
[snarling]
[fearful chattering]
[ferocious roar]
[coughing]
Hey, Malgosha. What's going on?
Your old dungeon buddy,
Steve, has betrayed us.
Well, that's a bummer.
The Orb is with four Roundlings.
My spies tell me
he has taken them
to his lava chicken shack.
No way. I love that place.
♪ La-la-la-lava
Ch-ch-ch-chicken ♪
Shut up!
Take your finest warriors,
bring me that Orb,
and k*ll the Roundlings.
So, like, you want me to
end his life or whatever?
Are you serious?
What do you think
I'm talking about?
Okay.
I was just kinda confused
there for a second.
Take this Nether wart
so you don't zombify.
Your Majesty, I don't think this
is gonna be enough to go around.
Deal with it!
No worries.
All right. Drink up, guys.
You don't wanna
zombify up there.
But just tiny sips, okay?
Harr...
Okay, so, how do we find
this Woodland Mansion thing?
Over the mountains,
into the dark forest,
right beyond the
massive red shrooms.
- Massive red shrooms?
- Mm-hm. Big old red ones.
We need to find a
real map, Steve.
This place is dangerous, and I
need to get my brother out of here.
Well, it seems like he's
having a pretty good time.
Look, your brother has a
gift. You know that, right?
You should let him explore it.
Creativity in this world
is key to survival.
Okay, well, in the real world,
things are a little
bit different.
Creative kids get
picked last for gym,
they sit at the
bummer lunch table
and they get bullied.
[chuckles] Don't I know it.
Do you even realize
what he did back home?
He blew up Chuggy The Chip!
Well, maybe I belong
in this world.
Henry, that's not what I meant.
That's not what I
was saying at all.
[sighs]
[Garrett] Just so you know,
I'm more of a sister to
Hank than you'll ever be.
Yeah.
[sighs]
Spin kick. [groans]
- You okay?
- Fine.
Look, I found one of these
big-headed-looking
dudes that sells maps.
Looks legit. Come on.
[Steve] Welcome to the stash.
TNT.
Firework rockets. Also
good for propulsion.
Boots of Swiftness.
Diamond armor, full set.
And blades for days.
Everything we'll need to
make it to Woodland Mansion.
Whoa.
Bogus layout, bro.
Look but don't touch.
Those are some of my
favorite treasures.
Hrr.
[hinges creaking]
What's this junk?
That is an Ender Pearl.
Teleports you to
wherever you throw it.
- Yeah, right.
- No!
[yells, gasping]
Oh, God.
What the...
And that was the only one I had.
No biggie.
Almost died fighting
an Enderman for it.
Come with me.
This is a crafting table.
Here's how it works.
You place these elements
in different patterns,
and kaboom!
You got yourself a sweet blade.
[metallic ringing]
[Garrett] You wanna see a blade?
I'll show you a blade.
- Yeah!
- [objects clattering]
Hammer.
Kadoosh!
Ahh...
[wheezing cough]
That's okay, bud.
Buckets are useful here.
Yeah. They're cool, Garrett.
They're like nunchucks.
Yeah, I know. That's
why I made them.
They're...
Buck-Chuckets.
Uh... they're what?
Hey, can I try something else?
Abso-rootin'-tootly.
Bro, you had Tots
the whole time?
Yeah. Sorry.
[Steve] Ohh!
It's a Tot Launcher.
Dude, you just took boring
junk from the real world
to create something amazing.
That is next-level.
[Garrett] Hank?
Can I play with your Tot
Launcher when you're done?
- Yeah.
- Sweet.
Hey, Steve. Can I talk
to you for a second?
Sure thing.
[launcher powers up]
[axe clanging]
What's up?
You know that note
you left with the Orb?
The one about the riches?
I read it.
Yeah. There's riches everywhere.
I keep a fat stash of diamonds
at the Redstone Mines.
So this treasure load,
is it on the way to
this Mansion place?
Not really. It's a major detour.
Plus, the mines can be perilous.
Let me keep it simple
for you, Steve.
No diamonds, no Orb.
You smell what I'm steppin' in?
Hurr...
Good day.
Huh...
We need a map to the
Woodland Mansion.
Uhhrr-uhr?
[clears throat] We
just need a map.
[distant growling]
Uh-oh.
- Nat?
- Dawn?
Something's going down.
[piglins vocalizing]
[surprised gurgle]
[piglins thundering]
Huh.
[Chungus] All right, guys,
just start trashing
their produce.
Villagers hate that.
- [footsteps thudding]
- [piglins howling]
[all shouting, wailing]
[all roaring]
[guttural roar]
[both gasp]
[shocked yelp]
[screaming]
[both yell]
Who are these guys?
Piglins. They must
be after the Orb.
[all grunting]
Hey, Steve. What's
going on, dude?
Crap! Chungus.
I'm really sorry, but I have
to un-alive you and stuff.
[yells sharply]
Malgosha double-crossed me.
We just need that Orb thingy.
You know this guy?
Yeah, we used to get
into some dungeon stuff.
He seems nice,
but he's a k*ller!
Wow, you look good, Bro-Hammer.
You lose some weight?
Stand back, boys.
This pig is mine.
No.
I'm tired of you
getting all the glory.
This pig is mine.
[curious grunt]
[bucket clangs]
Steve!
[groans, grunts]
[yelling]
[shrieks]
[tot launcher powers up]
- We have to get to Henry.
- Yeah.
Do you think we could
take these guys?
[both shriek]
[heavy grunts]
[Natalie] Come
on, let's do this!
[Dawn] Yeah, we got this!
["Zero to Hero"
by Benee playing]
[grunts]
[belly rumbling]
[Natalie grunts]
[Dawn yelps]
[groans]
Hai!
Nice moves, bro.
- [attacking shriek]
- [Chungus] Sorry.
[Garrett grunts, groans]
[Natalie yelling]
[Dawn] Yes!
[screams]
[groaning]
[Chungus] The party's over, bud.
Just give me the Orb.
Let me tell you something.
Let me tell you something!
What?
[Chungus] Whoa!
Thanks, big guy.
Ninja roll!
[pained groan] What happened?
I just saved your butt,
that's what happened.
You can thank me later.
We gotta get to the
rampart. Follow me!
[villagers shouting]
[panting]
[slow motion] Henry!
Nat, we have to go now.
Dawn, I cannot leave him.
He's my entire family.
He needs you alive, okay?
We'll meet him back at
the Woodland Mansion.
We gotta go find the
map guy! Come on!
[Steve] Follow me!
- Garrett, what about Natalie?
- We'll meet her at the Mansion.
[piglins growling]
[Steve] Come on, run!
[all panting, gasping]
- Whoa!
- [Henry] Whoa.
[Garrett] Oh, great. Now what?
- Fr-r-rah!
- [metallic clang]
Elytra Wingsuits!
- Ska-tah! Ska-tah!
- [Garret grunts]
Whoa!
Head for those mountains.
I thought we're going
to the Woodland Mansion.
Hank, don't talk
back to your elders.
- But...
- Buh-bye.
[screaming]
Those things work, right?
Absolutely.
[screaming]
[exclaims]
Whoo-hoo!
Check it out. I'm flying!
Yeah!
[laughs]
- [gasps]
- Buenos días.
Which means, "See you later."
[screaming]
No! I thought I grabbed three!
Wait for me!
Coming in hot!
["Private Idaho" by
The B-52's playing]
[Steve cackles]
[Garrett] No! No way, dude!
Let go of my hair!
Just relax. Let
my hips guide you.
It's the only way.
What? [sobbing]
[piglins screeching]
Hank! We'll have a better
chance if we split up!
- What?
- Ki-yai!
[Henry screaming]
[all squealing]
[yelling] Get off me!
Get off me!
[Henry screaming]
[Steve] Yee-hah!
[screeching]
Yeah!
Hoo-hoo! [laughing]
[all yelling]
We got hog riders at
our three o'clock!
[grunting]
[Garrett] I got you, buddy!
- They got us boxed in!
- [Garrett wailing]
Head for the tunnel!
[Garrett] We're not gonna
fit! We're too chunky!
We're gonna have
to go nose-to-toes.
Full man sandwich.
What? No. I'm not gonna do that!
I'm ordering you to make
a full man sandwich!
Okay!
[both yelling]
[babbling, yelling]
[Garrett whoops]
Yeah! [whooping]
[Steve] Dang it! A lava bucket!
- Okay. Tighten up!
- What?
There's still some
negative space back there!
We both know it!
I'm trying to close the gaps!
Okay, now get ready.
I'm gonna squeeze
for your safety.
I understand. [yells]
- Whoo-hoo!
- [roaring]
Yeah! [laughing]
Yeah!
Whoo-hoo!
[piglins squealing]
[yelling]
Get off me!
[piglin squeals]
[belching]
[Henry yelling]
Henry!
[Garrett] Oh, crap.
[all yelling]
[grunts]
[sneezes]
[all yelling]
Don't worry!
I'm gonna cushion our fall
with this water bucket.
Release!
[all exclaiming]
You can really fight, Nat.
You were kicking butt.
Thanks! I have no idea
where it came from.
There he is!
Hey! Get back here!
We need a map!
First, we need a boat.
Okay, okay, uh...
Okay, hurry. The map
guy's floating away!
[Natalie grunting]
Boat magic!
Hah-haah!
Nat, that's the worst
boat I've ever seen.
I'm sorry. I have no
idea what I'm doing.
Forget it. Let's go, come on!
["Could This Be Love?"
[by Bret McKenzie playing]
[Marlene laughing]
Oh. Oh...
Hrrr.
[laughing]
No, thank you.
Of course.
You know, I gotta tell you,
I'm having a great time.
Huh.
I, uh... I recently got divorced
from my husband,
Clemente, and...
and the main reason
is, you know, he...
didn't have any
personality, you know?
I mean, not like you.
Uh-huhh...
[laughs, shudders]
[Garrett] You got some
talking to do, buddy.
Hank and I want some answers.
Like how are we gonna
stop those pigs?
And why does my beard
smell like gorgonzola?
Yeah, and who's
that evil sorceress
- you were talking about?
- Look!
The sorceress is a piglin
queen called Malgosha.
Those are her minions.
She rules over them
in a dark hellscape
called the Nether.
And I always keep a
chunk of gorgonzola
in my front pocket, okay?
Listen!
Malgosha's path to darkness
started the way these
things often do...
during the semi-finals of
The Nether's Got Talent.
[dance music playing]
Young Malgosha always dreamed
of being a world-class dancer.
[Malgosha grunting]
Her moves were pretty out there.
No one in the Nether
was ready for it.
[all guffawing]
[Steve] It crushed her.
What'd I tell you
about all that dancing?
It's time for you to grow up.
I'm tired of you
chasing your dreams.
Now, take this axe
and go find some gold.
That was such
embarrassing dancing!
[Steve] So, from
that day forward,
she denounced all
forms of creativity.
If she ever gets that Orb,
she'll black out the sun.
Nether wart will flourish.
This beautiful world
and everything in it
will wither and die.
And you were gonna
give it to her?
Great idea!
I'm not gonna give it to her.
But I need that
Orb for leverage.
I gotta save Dennis.
Come.
[animals lowing and bleating]
The Woodland Mansion is just
beyond the Redstone Mountains.
We can go over or through.
Whatever's fastest.
Through will be faster.
[piglins grunting, snorting]
General Chungus,
you have failed me
for the last time.
Yeah, I'm really
sorry about that.
[growls] Bring out the beast!
- [piglin grunting]
- What?
What do you mean you just
have to put the brain in?
Well, yes, it's a big
deal. Get it done!
Look, everybody knows
it wasn't my best day.
But I'm really trying to
set some new goals, and...
[hog howling]
[Malgosha cackles]
[roaring]
The Great Hog.
My ultimate weapon.
There he is!
k*ll him!
Wait, does this mean
you're firing me?
- [sizzling]
- [Malgosha laughs]
Well done.
Now, find the Roundlings
and bring me the Orb!
[guttural howl]
[wolf howls]
[Natalie] We are so lost.
[grunts loudly]
- [grunts]
- [groaning]
My one job was to protect
Henry, and I blew it.
[zombie moans]
I just promised my mom I'd never
let anything happen to him.
I guess I'm just not cut out
for this parenting stuff.
[sighing] I just wish
I could have been a kid
for a little bit
longer, you know?
Just to have that feeling like
I could have done anything.
I hear you.
Being a grown-up
sucks. [grunts]
You got all these
responsibilities,
and you just stop
chasing your dreams.
[both grunting]
You think I like
having 15 hustles?
[wolf growling]
[Dawn gasps]
[snarling]
[Natalie yells]
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold up, hold up.
Let's just calm down.
I think this one
just needs some TLC.
Yeah? You like bones?
Oh, I bet you like bones.
Yes, you do. Yes, you do.
[gasps, laughs]
Aren't you a beautiful one?
- Yes you are! Yes you are!
- [panting]
I cannot believe
you just did that.
{\an8}[Dawn] Wait.
{\an8}[Dennis whining]
Dennis?
- Steve's Dennis?
- [barks]
Well, can you take us to him?
[barking]
- [whimpers]
- [Dawn, laughs] Oh!
Nat, I think this might be our
way to the Woodland Mansion.
[Dawn shrieks]
Let's follow that pooch!
Son of a biscuit, we found it.
[hooting laughter]
Looky, looky here.
Welcome to the Redstone Mines.
You see that glowy
stuff? That's redstone.
Conducts energy.
You can build some crazy
contraptions with it.
I thought you said this
was a diamond mine.
Easy, big dog. They're
here, but be careful.
I set some booby
traps a long time ago.
But I can't for the life of
me remember where they are...
[machinery whirs]
[whimpers]
[screaming]
Get them off me!
Help me, please!
- Sorry!
- [screaming]
Hah! Here it is!
Thanks, Garrett.
- [Garrett groans]
- Yeah.
[chortles]
Yes!
My diamonds.
[Garrett] Ooh! That's
what I'm talkin' about.
Steve delivers the goodies!
Did you guys plan this?
I'm sorry, Henry.
[Garrett] Whoo!
Yeah! I'm not.
Oh, yeah.
- What the heck, man?
- Oh, relax.
Natalie could be at
the Mansion already.
She could be in danger!
[gagging]
Oh, no. Do you smell that?
Nether wart.
What does that mean?
[heavy thudding]
[weapon powering up, firing]
No! The Great Hog!
She finally put the brain in.
Run for the minecarts!
[shrieking]
[grunting]
Hit it, Henry, hit it!
Go!
[all yelling]
If memory serves, I built a
kick-a*s safe room just up ahead.
[Steve] Whoo!
Dang it, my torch blew out.
[Henry] Why are we stopping?
[Steve] 'Cause we
ran out of redstone!
We're gonna need a boost fast.
- [sparking, hissing]
- [Garrett] What's that sound?
[Steve] Chill out, Gar-Gar.
We're totally safe.
Crap! My creeper farm.
[Garrett] What the...?
You gotta be kidding me!
What kind of idiot would
breed these things?
- [The Great Hog bellowing]
- [yelps]
[Garrett yelling]
- Up ahead, look!
- [Garrett squeaks]
[Steve] We gotta get
to the redstone rail!
[Henry] Garrett, you
got us into this mess!
Get out and push!
Okay. Okay.
[growling]
Go, Garrett! Go faster!
We're not gonna make it!
Come on!
Come on, Garrett,
you gotta go faster!
Start slapping, Hank!
Get outta here! Yeah! Get...
- Garrett, get in!
- [Henry yelps]
[Steve] He's right behind us!
[both screaming]
[Steve] I love you, Dennis!
[all screaming]
[Garrett] Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
[Steve] Nice work, Gar-Gar.
Your little detour
almost got us k*lled.
Relaje, you're so dramatic.
We're still alive.
What's your problem, man?
We didn't need those
stupid diamonds.
I swear, you are
literally the most
selfish person I've ever met.
Whatever. I need them, okay?
I need the diamonds,
because I need the
money, because I'm broke.
You wouldn't know
anything about that.
My life sucks, kid. All
right? I'm a frickin' loser.
There, I said it.
I know it looks like I got
it all put together, right?
I'm smart, funny, bilingual.
El humble to un el faultot.
But that's not the reality.
I'm not doing well.
I'm washed up, Hank, and
I'm gonna lose everything.
And that's not the worst part.
I'm alone.
You weren't alone.
I was your friend.
Sorry about your finances.
Shut up, Steve.
[Marlene] Wow.
I feel like you get me, and
you're an incredible listener.
And only people with emotional
intelligence are good listeners.
You know, I just didn't
think it was in the cards
that I would have another
first date, ever, you know?
Hm.
I wanna have the
guts to invite you
over to my house for dessert.
Huh. Uh-huh.
Are you finished?
No, I think he's Swedish.
But we're done with our meal.
There it is. The
Woodland Mansion.
We're gonna get in there,
get the Earth Crystal
and get you guys home.
Follow me!
Check this out.
Let's do this.
Pay close attention
to Papa Steve.
The Woodland Mansion
has three floors.
The first floor is
loaded with Vindicators.
Axe murderers, basically.
Why is the third floor
on the first floor?
I'm very confused.
[Steve] I was trying
to make three floors,
but I didn't have time to
make, like, a doll house.
The second floor
crawls with Evokers.
They wield powerful dark magic.
This is the worst
model I've ever seen.
Garrett, stop talking.
We're trying to
figure out a plan.
Bro, how long are you
gonna be mad at me for?
I just got mad at you.
Please don't be mad
at me for this, okay?
But I accidentally stole the
Orb while you were crafting.
Are we cool now?
You are literally the worst
person in the entire world.
Guys! Both of you, eyes
on my demonstraysh!
Third floor houses
the Loot Chamber.
That's where the
Earth Crystal is,
but it's guarded by Endermen.
Whatever you do, do not
look them in the eye.
They'll fry your brains out.
Okay well, I could build
stairs to the second floor,
sneak in through the window,
and snag the Earth Crystal.
That's a great idea, Hank.
But to pull it off, we're gonna
need a pretty sweet diversion.
You know what could
work on these guys?
It sounds crazy.
Hit me.
[funky beat playing]
♪ Friendship is
The wish you make ♪
♪ When you're blowing
out The candles ♪
♪ On your birthday cake ♪
♪ Don't be a bully
And don't be a brute ♪
- ♪ Time to put on ♪
- [both] ♪ Your birthday suit ♪
[Steve] ♪ Go Hank,
go While we blow! ♪
- [vindicator growling]
- [horn blowing]
[music continues, muffled]
[grunting]
[vindicators growling]
[yelling]
[both yelling]
[panting]
[growling]
[vindicators snarling]
You gotta be kidding me.
[crowd murmuring]
[Steve] You got this, Gar-Gar.
Reach down deep.
You're the Chuglass
Kid, and I love ya!
What's going on, Steve?
It's some kind of sadistic
Vindicator fight club.
I've heard of these,
but I've never seen one.
They want me to
fight the chicken?
[squawks]
It's a fight to the death, kid.
[vindicators cheering]
[squawking]
[loud clanking]
[machinery rattling, creaking]
[gleeful cackling]
- [squawks]
- Mmmm...
- [snarls]
- [shrieks]
Chicken jockey.
- [snarls]
- [yelps]
[grunts]
[all cheering]
[Steve] Watch out!
[both yelling]
Keep him away from your face!
- [grunting]
- [slapping]
[Steve] Chuck him!
- [grunts]
- Whoa!
[squawks]
[screams]
[slowed grunt]
- [attacking scream]
- [yelps]
[grunts]
[sizzling]
- [grunting]
- [chicken jockey squealing]
[sighing]
Finally.
[spectral growling]
[hissing screech]
- [both grunt heavily]
- [vindicators cheering]
[chicken jockey screeching]
[shrieks]
[ululating]
[expl*sive grunt]
[squawks]
[crying]
I'm sorry, little buddy.
Don't fall for it, Gar-Gar!
That baby's got the
heart of a demon!
No, you're not a demon, are ya?
You're a cute
little booger-face.
I'm just gonna...
pet your little head.
[screams]
[all cheer]
[ghastly groaning]
[echoing] You'll never
be as cool as me, Hank.
Just give up.
[echoing] The Overworld
doesn't need you, Henry.
- Neither do I.
- [Garrett, distorted] Give up.
[echoing] This is all
your fault, Henry.
Everything you do fails.
This stuff? It's trash, kid.
[hissing stops]
What the...?
[yells, grunting]
- [groaning]
- [Steve shouting]
Garrett! No!
[growling]
[Steve] I'm coming!
Hang on!
[yells] Sneak attack!
[hollering]
[vindicators groan]
[chicken jockey crying]
[grunting]
[orb humming]
[grunting]
Heck yeah. I got you, Gar-Gar.
- Come on.
- [groans]
You... You saved my life.
That's what friends do, Garrett.
[Henry yelling]
[thud]
Hank! Did you get
the Earth Crystal?
Yeah, I got it.
Let's get outta this hellhole.
[all yelling]
[Steve] Come on! Run!
[Henry huffing]
[roaring]
[Malgosha] I knew I'd
find you dummies here.
Oh no. It's her!
[Malgosha] Of course
it's me, you fool.
I've been tracking your
scent from two biomes away.
Check it out. I even
built me a new Hog.
[roaring]
Malgosha! Your reign is over!
You're wrong.
It's just beginning.
- [grunts]
- [gasps]
[Henry] No!
Hah!
No!
k*ll them.
We have work to do.
Goodbye, Steve!
[cackling]
- [piglins screeching]
- [Garrett whimpers]
[Steve] No!
They're gonna blow
this bridge sky high!
- Sorry, Hank.
- What?
[Garrett yells]
[screaming]
Yeah! Slime cube.
[grunts, hollers]
Come on, Garrett, jump!
I can't, Steve.
Get him outta here!
Go, Hank! Save your
sister and get home!
Garrett, you don't
have to do this!
Tell my story in song.
Keep it metal. Keep it
heavy. Real instruments.
Besides...
I love luaus.
Spin kick.
[roaring]
[high battle cry]
Garbage toss! Oh, crap!
[Steve shouts]
[Henry] No!
[both yelling]
We're going down!
Brace for impact!
[both yelling]
[grunting]
[Steve chuckles]
- Dennis?
- [whines]
- Dennis!
- [Dawn laughing]
It's you! It's really you!
[laughing]
Gimme...
[babbling affectionately]
Oh!
How'd you find me?
He's one heck of a wolf.
He led us right to you guys.
Now I understand why you kept
yourself so filthy and smelly,
so Dennis could
find you one day.
Is he okay?
He's fine. He's just resting.
Good.
It was a pretty
rough crash landing.
Wait a minute. Where are we?
- [Dawn laughing]
- Whoa!
I wish Garbage Man
was here to see this.
He would've loved
your mushroom hut.
Yeah, I think so too.
[voice shaking] I was so
afraid that I lost you.
I was so afraid that
I lost you, too.
I am really sorry
about what I said.
And I'm really
sorry about Garrett.
[ghast shrieking]
[Malgosha] I'm only
gonna say this once.
This thingy goes on
top of that thingy.
Got it, Travis?
It's gonna make a real cool
laser beam that'll darken...
[shrieking]
[Malgosha, growls] Never mind.
[deep rumbling]
- [zombies moaning]
- [bones rattling]
[chattering]
[all grumbling, growling]
[Steve] No. No!
The Great Darkening! It's begun.
Malgosha's gathering
all her forces.
She will destroy this land.
Unless... we go get that Orb.
Well, what're we doing here?
Let's go fight some pigs.
I'm ready. I'm done
with those pigs.
Yeah, me too.
Let's do it for Gar-Gar.
First we mine, then we craft.
Let's Minecraft!
- [grunts] One, two, three.
- Team!
- Get the Orb!
- Orb! What are you saying?
- Minecraft.
- We should all say that.
On three. One... Forget
it. There's no time!
[Steve] Show us
what you got, Henry.
[Henry] Okay. I got a plan.
[Steve] k*ller recipes.
We're gonna have to move fast.
Let's get to work!
[Henry] First we're gonna
need some iron ingots.
[sizzling]
[grunts] Oh, yeah!
{\an8}[Henry] And the
boots of Swiftness.
{\an8}[Dawn] Time to
light this place up.
- [bones rattling]
- Come on, boys.
Have a nice flight!
Yeah, man! Whoo!
I bet you do. I bet you do!
[Henry] We're also gonna
need a ton of diamonds.
[grunting]
[Steve] Show me
what you got, Nat.
Whoa! Yeah!
[Natalie] You want some, buddy?
[excited chatter]
We're ready.
Let's go save the Overworld!
[piglins roaring]
[Malgosha cackling]
All right, my piggies.
Today, we take the
Overworld as ours!
[all roaring]
Attack their villages.
Burn their homes and
their symmetrical farms.
All they have
created, we destroy!
[all roaring]
Well, what are you
standing around for?
Get out of here!
Go on, bring me the gold!
[Natalie grunting]
- [Iron grunting]
- [Natalie] Hurry, Henry!
[heavy metallic grunting]
[thudding, metallic footfalls]
Uh?
Hah! News flash!
Iron Golems will not
attack unless provoked.
[cackles]
- [hollow clang]
- [arrow clatters]
[exasperated groan]
Real smooth, Travis!
[high-pitched whistling]
[piglins screeching]
You ready?
Let's do this.
[Natalie grunting]
[Malgosha] Oh, for
goodness' sake!
Well, what are you doing,
you big block of meat?
Get down there and take
care of those Roundlings!
[growling]
[cackling]
[roaring]
How do you like them pork chops?
[growling]
Come on!
[hooting laughter]
[gasps] Huh?
Okay, Goshe. Let's dance.
Bring it on.
[yells]
[snarls]
Sneak attack!
[grunts]
Hah!
[grunts]
[grunts] Ooh!
[yells]
My diamond armor!
Egg attack! Hyah!
- Frizz!
- [Malgosha growls]
What is this, breakfast?
[grunts]
- [chickens clucking]
- [grunts]
Get off of me!
[Natalie] Hurry!
The Orb's up there!
- [thud]
- [agonized groan]
Do it, Henry.
I got this.
[gasps]
Go, Henry, go!
[The Great Hog snarling]
[bellowing]
[sharp whistle]
[Dawn] Hey, Captain Butt Crack!
I got something for you.
[guffawing]
Get him, Dennis.
- [wolves howling]
- [Dawn laughing]
Whoo! Take a bite
outta that pig!
Finish this, Henry!
[grunts]
[roaring]
[cannon powering up]
[screaming]
- Henry!
- No!
[both grunting]
No!
[screaming]
Whoo-hooo!
[grunting] Gotcha, kid!
- [shrieking] Yes!
- Yes!
[laughing] Yes!
Garrett, you're alive!
Yeah! [affectionate grunt]
Between us, I used Steve's
water bucket trick.
Pretty cool, huh?
Little bit.
Let's get this Orb and go home.
[Natalie] Yes! Yes, go, Henry!
All right, Hank.
It's fireball time.
Grab that spear.
I want you to jab
it in the tentacles.
- Yeah.
- [ghast screeching]
[Garrett] Whoo! Jab it!
[Garrett] Yeah!
How'd you learn how to do that?
Don't ask.
[Garrett] Whoo!
Yeah!
[groaning in pain]
[joyful shrieking]
[Malgosha] No!
What have you done?
The Orb!
[cackling]
[thudding footsteps]
[orb humming]
[Natalie] Yes!
[laughs] It's good to
see you, Garbage Man.
[Garrett] Yeah, it is.
[Steve] Parry! Thrust!
[breath rasping]
You failed, witch.
The Overworld lives on.
You, too, have fallen
for the great lie.
You'll never be happy.
Deep down, you know.
To hope, to dream, to
create is to suffer.
You're right.
It is harder to create
than to destroy.
That's why cowards tend
to choose the deuce.
[derisive grunt]
Later, Goshe.
Every minute knowing you
has been a horror-show
waste of time.
Wait, one more thing.
Come closer.
Do you have a little knife
that you're gonna
try to stab me with?
No, no. I'm too weak.
[rasping sigh]
All right.
Yah!
Come on!
It was worth a shot.
Wait, wait. Let me
say one more thing.
- Come closer.
- No way!
No, really, it's about you.
[sighing] Fine.
Lean down here.
[grunts weakly]
You really are the worst.
Goodbye.
This is it, really. Come back.
I don't even have a knife.
Where would I keep it?
Sneak attack.
[groans]
[piglin whimpers]
Hey!
You sure you wanna
go back, Henry?
It won't feel like this.
There you got constraints,
judgments, obstacles.
[Henry] Yeah, I know.
But I'm gonna go
make stuff anyway.
[Steve] I like that.
Mmm.
You're a brave kid.
Steve. You still cool with this?
[playful whine]
Yeah.
Come here, boy. Yeah.
Of course I still love you.
That's why I think
this is a good idea.
- You changed my life.
- [whimpers]
It's time for you to
go change hers, too.
♪ Go now, Dennis ♪
♪ Change Dawn's life, Dennis ♪
♪ Go on a journey ♪
♪ And think of me, Dennis ♪
♪ Go now, legendary
Wolf of my dreams ♪
♪ My doggie, doggie, doggie ♪
♪ My Dennis ♪
[howling melodically]
[sobbing]
[emotional growl]
[voice breaking] If I would have
known you could sing like that,
it would have helped
me get past your smell.
Garrett...
you are a truly
bodacious warrior...
and a really good friend.
I wish you'd come home with us.
Hank's cool,
but I don't have
any friends my age.
We would make a great team.
Vaya con Dios.
It means "Goodbye, brother."
No, it doesn't.
Don't look at her.
It does.
No, it does not.
Yeah, it does.
Are you sure you don't
want to come back?
Yeah, I'm staying here.
I got a bunch more
stuff I wanna build.
Why don't you bring some of
that magic to the real world?
Screw it, I'm coming with.
[giggling]
[Steve] Turns out, if
you're brave enough,
you can make the real world...
...your Overworld.
Garrett finally leveled up.
And his store
became the hot spot!
[indistinct chatter]
Together, we all joined forces
to create the new hit game,
Block City Battle Buddies.
[male game voice] Block
City Battle Buddies!
Yeah, we're still
in the beta phase,
working out a few bugs.
But let me tell ya, life...
- [rock riff playing]
- ...is pretty perfect.
♪ Yeah, yeah! ♪
[all cheering]
♪ I used to wake up and play
Back in my childhood days ♪
♪ Gettin' older's
Such a dirty shame ♪
♪ They never gave me a chance
To let my imagination dance ♪
♪ 'Til I came up With
a different game ♪
♪ Down in the mines
All of the time ♪
[all] ♪ Crafting ♪
[Steve] ♪ Out in the
sun Havin' some fun ♪
[all] ♪ Laughing ♪
♪ I'm never, ever
Lookin' back, 'cause ♪
[all] ♪ I feel alive ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
[Steve] Dawn finally got to
ditch her real estate job.
[Dawn] Have fun!
{\an8}[Steve] She and Dennis brought
the party wherever they went.
{\an8}[Dennis barks]
[Steve] Natalie decided
to share her new skill set
with the real world.
Survival Mode Self-Defense.
And now he's going to...
[grunting]
[groans]
[Steve] The streets of
Chuglass have never been safer.
You get 'em, Natalie!
And Henry?
He finally got that
jetpack to work.
[students chattering, cheering]
♪ I feel alive ♪
♪ I move mountains
With my mind ♪
[class bell ringing]
♪ I feel the high ♪
♪ Like a new moon on the rise ♪
♪ I feel alive ♪
♪ Like a redstone overdrive ♪
♪ I feel the high ♪
♪ With the power Of
the wolf inside ♪
♪ I feel alive ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
["Zero to Hero"
by Benee playing]
I know how much you love bread.
- Mm-hm.
- [door opens]
[woman] Marlene, your
ex-husband's here.
He said it was an emergency.
Well, you tell him I've
got nothing to say to him.
You gotta be
kidding me, Marlene.
This is the guy?
Too late, Clemente.
You had your chance.
[in rich British accent]
She's right, Clemente.
You totally blew it.
And now I reap the
rewards of your mistake.
You see, when Marlene's Jeep
Grand Cherokee ran me over,
I was struck by a
love so powerful,
it transcended the barriers
of conventional speech.
Now I speak Human, and
she speaks Villager.
[speaking villager]
[speaking English] Marlene,
ever since we met last night,
I wanted to say,
"Would you marry me?"
Yes! Yes! A
thousand times, yes!
["Zero to Hero" continues]
[song ends]
[knocking on door]
Hi, sorry to bug. I just...
I used to live here,
and... I'm Steve.
Oh, is this about that
chest in the attic?
h*-h*, yeah! I'm so glad
that's still around.
Hey, you want to come in?
I'm Alex, by the way.
Alex, great to meetch.
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A Minecraft Movie (2025)
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