01x10 - She Said She Said

[bunniefuu]

Today's lesson.

Fake IDs 404.

How to steal your ill*gal

business back

from your micromanaging

business partner.

Step one:

Break into the penthouse

with your secret spare key.

Dang.

Step two:

Make sure your $20,000 printer

is properly protected

with the bubble wrap that you definitely

remembered and didn't forget.

Ta da!

Step three:

Load all your ill*gal printing

equipment into an elevator

and move it to a secure

storage locker,

where in the lobby, burly

moving men will be waiting.

They will be doing the heavy

lifting while

Ugh! f*cking thing!

Die, die, die!

Ughhhhh! Just make it stop!!

Ahhhhhh!!!!!

I can't breath

with this f*cking thing on!

That beeping

is actually the worst.

- Just move it over to-

- I am!

No, move it to your left!

Oh yeah? This one?

- Twist it!

- You!

Zip it!

Ahhhhhh!!!!!!

I may have

oversimplified things.

Ok, it was f*cking annoying.

Um, hey.

Where is Tabitha?

She quit.

Ok, um, so you guys have

a really big service elevator,

right?

Like, it's massive?

Yes.

Can we pretty please

have the keys to that?

Name, unit number?

Uh, penthouse,

Trystan Smith.

Not the name I have.

What?

Smith is not who I have

for the penthouse.

Oh, right. Of course.

Duh.

It's, um

Do you both live

in the building?

- You know what?

- Uhhhh

I gotta go feed

my pet frog actually.

- Thank you so much.

- Thank you.

Ok. Bye.

That could have gone better.

Could have gone worse.

Also, Tryst doesn't own

the place?

Kind of sus', isn't it?

It's Tryst.

I wouldn't be surprised if he

uses his name for anything.

Fair.

How much time do we have?

I called his manager

and he's working all week, so

They told you

that over the phone?

I'm persuasive.

Ok. What if we disassemble

the printer?

No. Too complicated.

I can't hurt RBG.

You got a weird

object fetishization.

It's a nice printer.

Mm! We steal the elevator key.

Like an armed robbery?

Well, that's not

what I was thinking, but sure.

No, f*ck. Focus.

We are over complicating things.

All we need to do

is get oversized,

overweight, overpriced printers

down an entire building.

That's it!

You know what?

Don't even worry.

I'm not worried.

I'll 100 percent think

of something-

- I know you will think of

- So don't worry, I got this.

f*ck yeah.

Woo! We got this.

Gonna think of something

so amazing

and it's gonna blow your mind!

It's gonna blow

your mind.

We got this.

We got this! Yeah, baby!

I've got no ideas.

Oh god, Z, what is that?

It's my woodworking

final project.

It's fine.

I mean, it's tanking my average,

but it's fine.

You got anything?

No.

Let's go boys!

Didn't they lose

the championship?

Yep.

Then why are they celebrating?

No f*cking clue.

Those assholes broke

part of the drama stage

just to see if they could.

We're gonna host a party.

Those assholes broke part of

the drama stage

just to see if they could.

- Hey.

- Hey.

What if we threw them

a party?

I thought you invited

20 people!

What?

I thought I thought

you invited 20 people!

I did, but then they invited

their friends

and then they invited their

you know.

Yeah, I get it. I get it.

Let's get into position.

There's no way that

this can go wrong, right?

No, it's

It's physically impossible

for it to crash.

They only plummet to

the basement in the movies.

Right. Yeah, duh.

Do you want to switch roles?

No! I got this.

I'm gonna go take

a million stairs now.

k*ll me.

Gross!

Hey boys, I hear you guys

can break stuff.

- Yeah.

- What have you heard?

I bet I know something

you can't break.

Elevator!

Elevator! Elevator!

Hey. Joe.

What?

Nothing.

It's just a really great name,

by the way.

My first dog was named Joe.

You named your dog Joe?

Yeah. Joe. Joseph.

Ok. I'm just gonna

Oh my god! Oh, ow!

Oh, Joe! Ow!

- Here?

- Yeah, yeah, right here.

Right here, yeah, yeah..

Elevator! Elevator! Elevator!!!

Jump! Jump!

Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!!!!

Get me out of here.

Get out!

Get out!

Someone just get me out,

please.

I got you. I got you.

Ow, um.

You know what?

I actually think I should

just go home.

Yeah. Ice, compression,

elevation.

Aspirin.

Right, yup, that too.

yeah.

Uh.

Oh, thank you. Oh gosh.

- Alright.

- Alright. Well

Ok.

What the hell?

Hey, miss.

Mmmhmm?

Elevator's broken.

If you want to get upstairs

I'll have to give you the key

for the service elevator.

God, come on..

Oh my god, we did it!

Service elevator is ours.

I mean, it's slow as sh*t,

but it's ours.

Oh, that's great.

Hey, are you ok?

I just didn't expect it

to be like that.

The elevator dropped

a lot.

Was it that bad?

Kinda.

Well, lay down for a sec.

We're literally mid-heist.

Yeah, but no one's

going anywhere.

But what if Tryst doesn't

follow his schedule?

A, I think they he would

actually die

and B, his first thought would

be to yell at these kids

and tell them to get

off his lawn.

Take five minutes, ok? I'll go

get your some water.

- Ok, actually five though.

- Yes.

What are you doing here?

Nice to see you too.

No, sorry, I

Why are you ignoring

my calls?

I needed space.

Ok, there's just a lot that's

going on right now.

You're sounding

a lot like Rebecca.

Am I?

What is going on

with you two?

Who's place is this?

Everyone was saying

"Zoe and Rebecca's."

Yeah, it's ours.

What about you and Sally?

Ok, I told you-

Zoe. I am done

being lied to.

I'm tired of this sh*t.

Ok.

Sally was screaming

about the cops.

I'm not an idiot.

Tell me exactly what

is happening here,

or I'll ask Rebecca myself

and tell her everything.

Fine.

No, no, hey, hey,

wait, wait. Wait.

I'm listening.

Alright, so for the last term

Rebecca and I have been

printing fake IDs

and we are really,

really good at it.

So, we had to get Sally

and Sophie to help us out.

We are making so much money.

Oh my god, you don't

even know.

But, Rebecca, she didn't want

to involve you

and that is why she didn't

tell you anything.

That's the truth.

I don't know where to start.

Can someone get that?

Police! Nobody move!

Who owns the place?

Oh f*ck.

Rebecca Li and

Zoe Christiansen!

Hey, please, don't say

anything, ok?

Kitchen.

Ah!

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

Ok.

Daddy, call the lawyer.

Becca? What's going on?

Are you in the penthouse

right now?

I'm sorry.

Do not say anything

to the cops. Got it?

Wait, how did you know

they were cops?

And destroy this phone!

Tryst, did you have something

to do with this?

No! No!

No!

Trust me, this get's worse.

You're pretty much

caught up now.

No! Get off me!

Don't! Stop!

Ok, what are we ordering

for dinner?

Oh! Gimme, gimme, gimme.

Alright, but do not splurge.

Curtesy of Sophie.

It's not bad,

but if we are gonna reach

our monthly projections

then the singing nerd is gonna

have to show some improvement.

You'll see.

Sally will be matching

Sophie's numbers any day now.

You've been busy.

Thought about anyone else?

Ah, f*ck, you know.

What can I say?

One-man band.

Like a mariachi.

Oh wow.

Hey this is really good.

What did your therapist say?

k*ll 'em with kindness.

They will come around.

Hey, guys.

Hey! Oh, sh*t! sh*t! No!

When were you gonna

tell me that your dealer,

Sally Coates, who is a teenager,

by the way,

I mean, come on, man.

When were you gonna tell me

that she was arrested?

I know. Never.

Which is why we're here.

And now what's all this sh*t?

Useless. Rubbish.

Wait, why you got

two drivers licenses?

One is a fake.

I didn't realize

they were this good.

Honestly, right.

Full disclosure, yeah?

I was planning on breaking your

back like a f*cking Kit Kat.

But, f*ck me, this sh*t.

Can you do labels?

You know, logos, tags.

Yeah, absolutely.

Right.

Let's pivot this partnership,

shall we?

Yeah, let's, yes.

I've got a shipment

of beautiful handbags.

They've just come in.

Need some finishing touches.

Ok, like knock-offs?

You winding me up?

No.

Is he winding me up?

f*ck it. Knock-offs?

Knock-offs are what you find

at a night market, mate.

These are perfect

brand replicas.

- Absolutely they are.

- Great.

Well Margo will be around

with the bags

and you can work your magic.

I like you, Tryst. I do.

And because I like ya, I'm

only gonna break a few bones.

And because you remind me

of me, only less handsome,

I'll even let you pick.

f*ck me.

We can talk about this,

can't we?

Oh, we're actually doing this.

Ok, fine.

Ok, hold on.

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Non-dominant index finger, ok?

Non-dominant index finger.

f*ck!!!!!!

Cause you never

f*cking listen to me!

That's why I'm f*cking pissed.

This isn't about me!!

This is about you two

f*cking up a good thing.

Ok, well you are

the only one that-

- Zoe!

- What?

Please. I am way

beyond talking.

Ok. This is my space and

what I need is for you two

to get the f*ck out of here

before you get us all k*lled.

Ah, sh*t.

I can fix the settings.

Probably too much magenta.

Or something.

And who are you two?

What are you doing

to the Rolland?

Get out!

Kids. From down the hall.

You know, they drive me crazy.

They had a key.

Do not ever call me again,

you understand?!

I am done with the two of you.

Completely done!

So, you can't actually

print anything

and you've been lying to me

since the beginning.

Big deal.

But it got me thinking,

you know, who has?

And Margo mentions

these two teenagers.

Who are they?

Err

I'm not going to ask

a second time.

Just a couple kids.

They're just a couple kids.

Who have keys

to my penthouse

and know the specifics of

a flatbed UV printer?

Ok, please just leave them

out of this.

Alright, they don't even

know about you,

they just print the sh*t,

you know?

Oh no.

They're the ones printing?

No, well Kind of.

I would very much

like to meet them.

f*ck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

911,

what's your emergency?

I'd like to report

ill*gal activity

with ties to organized crime.

Daddy, call the lawyer.

Rebecca?

You weren't supposed

to be there!

I was trying to set

things down.

Tryst, did you have

something do with this?

What if my mom finds out?

She'll probably look

at you differently,

but you'll be fine.

Or my dad or Isabelle

or Mah Mah.

She'll be so disappointed.

Becca, they love you.

They will understand.

This isn't on our

permanent record, is it?

Is permanent permanent?

I don't know, B.

How are you so calm?

Zoe f*cking Christiansen here.

I am not calm.

I'm literally working through

the worst case scenarios

in my head right now and we're

not even in the worst one yet.

We're literally arrested.

Yeah, but no one's pressed

charges and we're minors.

So let's just see what

they have to say.

I'm so glad you're here.

In a cop car?

No. Beside me.

Me too.

- Hey Margot, what do you need?

- They're with me.

Yeah, no problem.

Go ahead.

Is that the lady

from the penthouse?

What is she doing?

Come with me, we have

a few questions.

What?

- We didn't

- What?

Alright. Let's go.

This way. Go.

Does this mean that the charges

have been dropped?

- Go.

- Jesus f*cking christ.

Now.

Ladies. Hey, I am so sorry

about the CIA hoods.

It's a little theatrical,

I know.

I'm Guy.

It's a pleasure to finally

meet you both.

Rebecca Li and

Zoe Christiansen.

Is is Christiansen

or Christianson?

Whatever you need,

we have money.

We can pay you.

I feel like we've already met.

Do you know what I mean?

But I've got to say,

when I learned

that the two of you have been

squatting in my penthouse

for the last few months,

I was not happy.

I was not happy at all.

But then, I realized

that you two have talent.

There's something

special here.

Is that Dad?

See, I would like to discuss a

formal business partnership.

What could you do with three

Roland printers and $100,000?

$100,000?

That's right.

Who is that?

Wait, wait, wait.

Don't look at him.

Look at me.

Hey. I'm the one that

got you out of jail.

That's the prick

that called the cops.

Joel, f*ck it.

Take it off.

- Holy f*ck.

- Oh, my god. Please, no, no.

Relax.

See, that's what happened

but it doesn't have to happen.

Alright, come on.

Get him out.

We won't..

What are you doing?

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

what are you doing?

Get him out.

Come on.

Get him out.

Easy. Get out.

What?

Now. Out. Let's go.

Ugh!

Your babysitter seems

slightly obsolete now, don't he?

Ah, long overdue we cut out

the middle man.

Now

Oh, my god!

Oh, my god

Which one of you's

in charge?