01x06 - The Kitchen: Level 2

[bunniefuu]

[Rutledge] And now, for the main event
of this Floor is Lava...

let's get ready to not stumble!

It's head-to-head,

mano-a-mano, toe-to-toe competition.

In this corner, the Karaoke Crew!

We're gonna win Floor is Lava!

And their challengers,
the Alpha Betta Fish!

-We got this!
-We got this!

-You ready?
-Ready!

-You ready?
-I'm ready!

[screams]

Let's go!

Two teams will enter,
but only one will emerge from...

the Kitchen!

We're back in the Kitchen,

the most precarious room on Floor is Lava
and the perfect forum for a face-off.

As our competitors learn,

there's barely a single stable surface
in the entire place.

Every obstacle is a balancing act
and they're all out to get you.

They're slanted.

Swingy.

Spinny.

And slick.

And you can't even trust
the kitchen island!

But that doesn't mean
there aren't countless paths

for our two teams to cross in...

The Kitchen: Level Two.

Our first team met and bonded while
belting out the hits every Sunday night.

Meet three singles ready to mingle:
Steven, Jason and Todd.

The Karaoke Crew.

We actually met all doing karaoke.

I'd moved from Australia.
I didn't have any friends.

Went to a local pub,
where I met Todd and Jason singing,

and we've become best friends,
and we karaoke every Sunday night.

You get to hang out,

no matter if you've had a good week
or a bad week,

you get these guys and karaoke,
and it's a good time.

I would bet all the money I have

that he's not gonna make it with us.

-I wanna believe, Todd!
-I... [laughs]

-Come on!
-No, no!

We're helping him.
We can help him. This is a team game.

Believing and knowing
are two different things.

Okay, that's true. But...

He's not necessarily wrong.

We're going to win
because of my brains, your brawn,

and Steven's whatever.

We have a balance,
and we have the confidence

that we know we're gonna go out there
and wreck those fools.

-What is going...
-What happened to this kitchen?

Here they are,
starting on a high note

in their spiffy, lava-fighting outfits...

It's the Karaoke Crew!

You cannot step on those.

No, I know that.

-But can't I jump from there to there?
-No!

Have you seen yourself jump?

If you install confidence into me,

I might be able to!

Too much confidence!

[Rutledge on PA] Hello, Karaoke Crew!

Get to the kitchen exit
as fast as you can.

You get a point for each teammate across.

Hidden throughout the Kitchen
are gadgets that can help,

so keep your eyes open.

And finally, falling is the worst thing
you could possibly do,

because the floor is...

[all] Lava!

Come on!

-Stay!
-It's deeply active volcanic lava!

-Why would you do that?
-All right, guys.

-You're going this way.
-I'm heading over here.

Good luck. Get that pizza.

-All right, you going? You good? Look!
-Yeah.

There's little things to step on!

Yeah, it's the foot rails.

[Rutledge] The foothold Jason is using
is a scant two inches thick.

That would make it
one-sixth of a foot... hold.

Guys, I actually can't see
where the floor rail breaks!

-It's an interesting point.
-Help him, guide him.

Jason, you're good.

-Oh, boy.
-Just go, Todd, go. Now keep going...

And he has to depend on the eyes

of his teammate to get him across.

Oh, man.

You good? Watch out.

-Bubbles! Jason, again.
-[Todd] Okay, this swings. This swings.

It is a little slippery!

[Steven] The next one's tiny.
It's like one foot only.

Really? all right.

Jason is gonna
have to transition from the knife wall

onto the chest of drawers.

His balance better be good

'cause there isn't much space
to work with.

Then you got the block.

Oh, man.

[Todd] Nice.

I need you guys to let me know
when I'm over the...

I'm watching, I'm watching.

Oh, boy!

Todd, about to take on the pot rack.

This pot rack claimed
super athletic nurse Mariah

in the last trip through the Kitchen.

Hopefully, Todd isn't knocked out
by the frying pan and into the fire.

Do you wanna grab the first...

Yeah, there you go.

There you go, Todd. All right.

Watch out below! It's bubbling!

The pot rack swings quite a bit,

which is gonna make a dismount
highly problematic for Todd.

-Keep going! Next rung!
-[screams]

-Watch out!
-Oh, he's got his feet on.

-No, he doesn't.
-[Steven] Swing again!

Swing set, Todd! Swing set!

-He's on! Wait, is he?
-Go again!

Get the momentum! There we go.

Yes! He's on!

Todd makes it onto the kitchen island,

and immediately cradles the baguette
because carbs equal comfort.

Steven, I'm gonna guide you through this!

Now, it's Steven's chance
for a solo on the knife wall.

Those knives aren't real,

but Steven's fear of falling in the lava
is very real.

-[Jason] Steven!
-How's my foot?

Right there, you're good.
You got a little more room on that one.

Right there, you're good.

I need a... I'm gonna rest.
You guys keep going.

Yeah, take a rest. Good for you.

-[Jason] Okay!
-I see, I see!

That's the one foot,
you're doing great, Steve!

Nice swing, you're gonna come right down!

Get a little over with your hands
and come right down on here.

-You're good.
-Hold on.

-Grab me if you need to.
-I got it.

-I got it.
-All right.

-We gotta go to this chair next.
-Steven!

This one comes out farther,

but I don't actually like it.
I like staying a little lower.

So you wanna get to that chair,
to that chair, to the Chinese.

Jeez! Unnecessary!

I'm gonna jump.

[Steven] Grab the back of the chair
with two hands.

Todd, pizza! What are you waiting for?

I'm resting!

[Steven] No time to rest!

Ah, it's spraying! God, so much lava!

-[Steven] Low in the legs!
-Stop it with the lava!

Jason, looking at a daunting
four-foot move onto the next chair.

One misstep, and he will be into the lava.

Jason makes it!

-Use the... Okay!
-Who wants this Chinese food?

Hold on, let's check your fortune.

Oh. Fortune cookies!

"The first step toward change
is awareness."

-Oh.
-"The second step is acceptance."

Guys! No time for muckin' up!
Get over there!

[Jason and Todd] All right!

Steven's right. Time is crucial
in this head-to-head competition.

Left leg first?

Whatever foot you're comfortable with.
I don't know.

I'm a little scared.

Let's go, Steve.

I just wanna get the right footing.

Do not use the edge of that thing.

That is foam and not stable.

I gotta go up and over, and I don't go up.

-[Jason] Steven, we believe in you, buddy!
-I can't!

I'm gonna get there.
You keep going without me.

[Jason] As soon as you go,

lava's gonna be
coming out of the ground.

-Yes!
-Yes!

All right, we got that.

Hold! Hold!

This one's actually a little bit easier,
in my opinion. Same strategy.

Put your hands on the thing.

[Todd] Jason, put your arm out!

Okay, move that! Move that out of the way!

Steven, about to take on
an even longer stride than the last.

There's something about
those tuxedo t-shirts

that says,
"I'm formal, but here to party."

-My hand is here.
-I won't need it.

Well, it's here anyway.

-Yes!
-All right!

That's some smart teamwork.

[Steven] Two for two.

-Let's go!
-[Todd] I need your help.

[Jason] All right.

This thing moves.

Got it. It does move.

[Steven] Just use the swing method.

Use the swingset.

Come on.

[screams]

[screams]

Adjusting his grip.
Is his arm strength all used up?

[Steven] Don't look down!
Just keep swingin'!

Just keep swingin'!
There you go, two hands!

[Jason] Use that freakish
upper body strength

that none of us understand why you have!

[Steven] Major expl*si*n, but we're good.

Todd succeeded,
although some say he got panned.

Some, not me. I wouldn't pander like that.

Oh, it hurts, doesn't it?

[Todd] Oh, this is gonna hurt.

[Steven] There you go!

He is relentless in his pursuit
of carbohydrates.

The sign next to the oven
says "Pizza is the key."

Todd! You're gonna need to probably
get that pizza thing to get the pizza!

Steven knows what's up.

Todd needs to climb the chickens to fetch
the pizza peel hanging on the wall.

I need to get the...

Oh. Those are some crispy chickens!

[Jason] You gotta pull those pizzas out!

Use the chicken!

Which is something I say everyday.

That's a normal sentence
that anyone would say at any time.

[Todd] Grab the top one!

[Steven] Grab the top one
and get us a pizza!

-Okay! I got it!
-[Steven] All right, let's go!

[Steven] Come on!

-Come on, Toddleton!
-I'm so proud of our boy!

I'm going!

I'm so proud of our boy!

-Breathe!
-Or don't breathe!

Whatever is the correct move!

-I'm gonna look in.
-[Steven] I'm hungry!

Get me a Hawaiian! Ham and pineapple!

-I can't see anything.
-Just get what you can!

Ham and pineapple?

So wrong to put fruit on a pizza,

but if it's free, I'm eating it,
am I right?

-All right, I got one pizza!
-Send it over!

You want it? You want some?
[chuckles]

-Are you sure?
-Yes! Come on! Slip it over! Let's go!

All right!

[kissing]

No!

That must've been a meat-lover's pizza.

Sausage is not aerodynamic.

-What the...
-[Steven] What do you got?

-Oh!
-That is a very large key.

-[Steven] That is probably important.
-I'm gonna hold on to this.

Finding the key is half the battle.

If Todd can serve up that key
at the dining table,

he can extend it, making for
a much shorter leap to the exit.

Either way, that key is key.

-Forget the pizza!
-No, no pizza?

-You sure? All right.
-The key is good!

[Jason] Do you wanna put it in your pants
or something? Whatever.

Oh, boy. This is much harder
going down this way.

Whichever way Todd decides
to jump,

he'd better hurry because one stair
is already gone.

-I might wanna go there!
-Go!

Just go. You have more to land on.

Superman!

-Three, two, one, go!
-[Steven] Two, one, go!

-Yes, you got it!
-Woah. That was close!

Moves like Jagger from Todd
as he leaps from a stable surface

to a wobbly island
that lurches 30 degrees.

-You want me to go there?
-[Steven] Yeah!

I don't know if I can.

Those stools are only 20 inches wide,

a tiny space to navigate.

[Jason] We do not have time!

-[Steven] Go! There you go!
-It spins!

-[Steven] Yeah, yeah.
-[J] You're gonna have to do spin to spin.

[Steven] Use it in your favor.

-I'm going!
-Move that butt!

You have a huge butt! Everyone knows that!

[Steven] Wiggle it! There you go!

I'm trying!

-I'm trying!
-[Todd] You've a very large posterior!

The spinning stools have been
nothing but trouble.

In the last trip through the Kitchen,

both Dr. DJ and nurse Felicia couldn't
spin a successful end to their story.

[Steven] Keep going!

-Yes! Stop!
-[Jason] Yes! All right, go!

[Steven] Turn now, there's no lava!

-No! It's spinning back!
-Oh, God.

[grunting]

-[Steven] Turn around, keep holding!
-All right.

-Oh, boy.
-[Steven] Step!

[Jason] Now or never!

Step, go!

I'm gonna cowboy it!

-[Steven] Go, Todd, go!
-I'm gonna cowboy it!

-[Jason] Go, baby!
-[Steven] Go! Just go!

-Oh, boy.
-[Jason] One step! Take a big step!

No, it's gonna spin! I'm gonna go down!

-[Steven] Just go now! Go!
-[Jason] Go!

I'm trying!

Oh, boy.

We believe!

-Just go now!
-[Jason] Go!

-[Steven] Go!
-[Todd] I'm trying!

Oh, my God!

[Steven] Three, two, one, jump!

Oh! And Todd had the key!

No!

All right, we gotta do this on our own.

The spinning motion
of Todd's stool sealed his fate,

and Todd took the key
to get out of the room with him.

There is no key!

There is no shortcut to the exit.

The stairs are gone!

The stairs are literally gone!

Yes, the stairs are gone,
and they're not coming back.

I'm just gonna try this.

Put your legs up. Okay.

But I can't. There's no...

-Yeah.
-It's not gonna help.

-All right.
-Count it down.

Okay. Three, two, one, go!

And Jason is off, riding the cheese!

[Steven] There you go! And land!

There you go!

Jason made it!

He rode that mozzarella stick


narrowly escaping the deep fryer.

You're just gonna have to jump,
we have no key!

You're just gonna have to jump!
We need the points!

Forget about me!

Go! Do it for the team!

This is such a long jump!

Is Steven breaking up the band?

This is such a long jump.

[Steven] Hold on for dear life.

Let's go.

Here we go. Steven...

-Jason! Jason! Jason!
-Count me down.

Five, four, three, two, one,

cowabunga!

-Yeah!
-Jason made it! Yes!

They earned a point.

But did they cost themselves
a second point

by leaving Steven alone
to ride the cheese?

Yes! I'm comin' for ya!

Let's go! All right, Steven!

-We're gonna run and jump.
-Come on!

Steven, with a good push-off.

Not good enough!

That was close, Steven! That was close!

Steven is eating up precious time.

Time that he does not have.

Remember, the tiebreaker goes to the team
that clocks in first.

I'm going for the chair.

[Jason] Oh, no!

No, that's gonna arrest your momentum.

But if you can push off it with your foot
as you're coming,

maybe it'll give you some extra momentum.

So, swing on this side, Steve!

Oh, Steven pushes off the stool
for extra momentum.

Is that enough to get him
on the dining table?

That's what we're gonna do!

Toes! He's got toes!

[Jason] Oh, my God!

Steven made it!
He backed that thang up!

[screaming]

-All right, listen to me.
-Holy mother!

[Jason] This jump is very hard.

Do not expect to land on your feet.
You're not going to.

Don't worry about the pain.

You'll feel pain later when you're dead.

You need a running start,

and you're gonna push yourself
all the way here.

It's gonna be hard,
but put your all into it, buddy.

-I'm gonna count down from five, okay?
-Okay!

[Jason] Five, four, three,

two, one,

go!

Oh, no! Steven doesn't make it.

-I'm lost, Jason!
-Steven, no!

-The lava got me!
-Steven, no!

-All right.
-No!

-Live on for all of us!
-No!

I'll see you in hell!

I've lost everyone important to me!

The Aussie transplant makes a bold effort,

but seven feet is 6.9 feet too far.

-Karaoke Steve lip-"sinks" dramatically.
-I'll see you in hell!

Goodbye.

A mixed medley from the Karaoke Crew.

Todd handled the pot rack as confidently
as he does a microphone.

-But it soon turned into a mic drop...
-[Steven] ...two, one, jump!

-...into the lava.
-No!

Jason, seeing his trio morph into a duet,

grabbed the reins
to become the head cheese,

glided to the table,
and soloed it to the exit for a point.

Steven looked for an encore
to Jason's performance,

but had to settle for singing the blues
at the bottom of 80,000 gallons of lava.

I think I should get a half point
for at least my upper torso making it.

We got to play the Floor is Lava
in an insane, crazy...

And not just in our living rooms
as children,

but as full-grown adults,
and it was fun. It was a blast.

-We are going to win!
-[chuckles]

Yeah, repeat after us.

-We...
-We...

-...will...
-...will...

-...win!
-...win!

Round one is complete
and the Karaoke Crew

has one point on the board.

But now, entering the ring are a trio of
college roommates looking for a knockout!

Coming out swinging
are the Alpha Betta Fish.

[Adrian] We're gonna win.
We're gonna come home with some money.

And we're gonna go, "Nah, nah, nah."

It's gonna be an easy one, two, three.

-We'll make them lose.
-Yeah.

[Nick] Christian, Adrian and I used to be
roommates in college,

and we kinda came up
with the name Alpha Betta Fish

as a way to parody a fraternity
because we're poor...

[laughs]
and we can't join a real fraternity.

We've been playing this game
since we were kids.

He even had a slight stress breakdown
during finals week,

where he walked along all our furniture,
playing his own version of Floor is Lava.

As the captain, I bring the good ideas.

-I'm the idea man.
-I'm a game designer, first and foremost.

I'm the strategist.
I'm not the most physical person.

I bring the glue of the team.

I know how Adrian works,
I know how Nick works,

and so I'm gonna help
keep the team together.

When we get that ten grand,
I'm going to fly home

just to visit my family

who I haven't seen in almost a year now.

I'm going to put my share towards
making a short film with my wife.

I'm gonna take my wife
on a really nice honeymoon.

I don't have a wife.

-We're gonna get Nick a wife.
-[all laugh]

And here they are, playing with fire

the second they leave their wives
to hang with their single friend,

it's Alpha Betta Fish.

Whoa. Look at that sign!

-What's it say?
-[Nick] "Pizza is the key."

-Pizza is the key.
-[Nick] Pizza is the key?

-We have to try going over there then.
-Okay.

-[Rutledge on PA] Yo, Fish!
-Hello!

Simple game, each player
who makes it to the exit gets a point.

Most points wins, and remember,
don't touch the floor,

because the floor is...

[all] Lava!

Okay.

All right, what are we doing?

-Am I going first?
-Go.

You're going.

-Hold me.
-I've got you.

The Fish are splitting up,

with Adrian heading
for the wall of knives,

while Nick tests
the butcher block for stability.

-Go!
-Okay.

Oh, Nick with a bit of a slide!

Nick nearly lost it right outta the gate.

Yeah, I'm good. Oh, and this swings!

-All right, cool.
-[Christian] Oh, that moves.

-Go!
-All right, you got it, Nick.

Oh, frick!

The Fish, immediately taking
multiple paths.

This could cut down their run time.
Smart move.

In case of a tie, time is the tiebreaker.

-[Christian] Oh, no.
-[screams]

Nick, hanging precariously

over thousands of gallons
of blazing hot lava.

And, ladies, he's single.

I'm gonna try to jump it.

[Adrian] You're gonna jump?

I have to jump to the table.
That's my only option.

Christian about to attempt
the longest jump

we've ever seen on the Floor is Lava.

Ow!

I got fortune cookies!

That was, until this moment,
an unheard of eight-foot leap.

Onward, Christian vaulters!

[Christian] You got it, Nick?

[Adrian] You got it, Nick?

Let's hope Nick's hops know no bounds,

like his teammate.

Oh, frick!

Sizing up his dismount.

Wait for it, I'mma comin'!
I want a cookie!

I'll give it to you later.

[Christian screaming] No, Nick, no!

Oh, down goes idea man Nick!

Nick!

We lost Nick!

Whoa.
Unattached Nick got a hit on a dating app!

Chin, meet island!

Ouch!

The Alpha Betta Fish are down one player.

The Karaoke Crew had a complete team
at this point in the game.

The Fish cannot afford to lose
another teammate.

[Christian] This is pretty stable.

-It's stable?
-Yeah!

It's not going anywhere.

If you could just get one foot...

All right, you got it. Hustle up.

[both screaming]

Are you okay?

Be careful right here.

It's a little unstable,
but right here is good.

It's okay! I'm always unstable!

I got you.

Get out!

That blast to Adrian's nether regions

could prove problematic on the honeymoon
he wants to take with his new bride.

But on the plus side,

the Fish are twice as fast
as the Karaoke Crew

at getting to that table.

-I got a fortune cookie. Okay.
-Oh, hey, thanks.

So, why not eat up time
with a fortune cookie?

"You're a mistake and you made
a terrible decision by going near lava."

All right, cool.

I lava good fortune cookie.

If they can both make it
to the butcher block

and to the exit,
they will beat the Karaoke Crew.

Are we gonna take the cheese
or are we gonna go on the chairs?

Remember what happened
when Todd tried for the chairs?

[Jason] No!

Well, Todd is no more.

Try taking that. See what happens.

Takin' this?

Notice how Christian
volunteers his teammate

rather than offer to ride
the cheese himself.

-Pro move.
-Are you gonna go?

-No. But...
-You're stalling!

He's riding that cheese like a pro!

-Come on!
-Provolone, that is.

-Do it!
-I'm on!

I'll push you back!

Jason from the Karaoke Crew

was able to sling his cheese
across the room in one try.

Alpha Betta Fish using
some of their time advantage.

You got it.

Two, three...

Get it, Adrian!

-Come on!
-Come on!

Adrian is on the table!

Whoo! Let's go!

And the lava is angry!

-Should we just go?
-All right.

Or go to the pizza?

-Should I go to you or the pizza?
-Go to me!

Come to me! You gotta get
a running start at it, dude!

I'm comin'!

Hold on!

Hold on!

Grab my foot!

Christian made it!

Go! We're running out of time!

Amen! And on his first try,
unlike uneven Steven.

Alpha Betta Fish are back ahead on time,
but without the key to extend the table,

Christian and Adrian
face that long jump to the exit.

If they both score, they win,

and they blazed a path fast enough
that one step is still above the lava!

[Adrian] I'm going to make this jump!

Forgive me!

-Do it for Nick!
-For Nick!

Yeah!

Adrian is across the exit for a point!

-I'm comin', brother!
-Come on!

It all comes down to this.

If Christian makes this jump,

the Alpha Betta Fish will hook two points
and win this competition.

Christian nails it! Hook, line, no sinker!

[both screaming]

The Alpha Betta Fish have scored
two points to win the competition.

Next stop, meeting me
for fortune and glory!

Ten thousand dollars and a triumphant
Volcano of Victory await them.

-Oh, God!
-Dude, dude!

[all laughing and cheering]

Oh, my gosh.

-Dude!
-I thought...

Ten thousand dollars.

You know how many wristbands and headbands
you guys can buy with $10,000?

-So many.
-At least three.

-At least three.
-At least three more.

So many.

[Nick laughs]

Congratulations.

Enjoy your winnings.

[both] Thank you.

Don't go anywhere, lava lovers,

because more teams have shown up
that think they can take the heat.

The fools!

All-new teams, all-new rooms.
What stays the same?

The Floor is Lava,
and it starts right now.