01x01 - Chapter One: As You Wish

[bunniefuu]

- CHILD: "Has it got any sports in it?"

- I got it.

[LAUGHING]

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

♪

- [VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING]

- [COUGHING]

[BUTTONS HITTING RAPIDLY]

- Hi, honey.

- Hey, Mom.

- You feeling any better?

- A little bit.

- MOM: Guess what.

- What?

- Your grandfather's here.

- Mom, can't you tell him I'm sick?

You're sick, that's why he's here.

But he's gonna pinch

my cheeks. I hate that.

Hey!

How's the sickie, huh?

[FLAPPING]

I'm just gonna leave

you two pals alone, okay?

Yes. Great.

[KISSES]

I got ya a special gift.

[FANTASY MUSIC PLAYING]

What is it?

♪

- A book?

- Yes, that's right.

When I was your age,

television was called books.

And this is a very special book.

This is a book that my father

used to read to me when I was sick,

and I used to read this to your father.

And today, I'm gonna read it to you.

Has it got any sports in it?

Are you kidding me? It's got fencing,

fighting, t*rture, revenge, giants,

chases, escapes.

True love. Miracles.

- Doesn't sound too bad.

- [TV CLICKS OFF]

- I'll try and stay awake.

- Oh! Well, thank you very much.

Your vote of confidence

is is overwhelming.

The Princess Bride by S.

Morgenstern, chapter one.

"Buttercup was raised on a small

farm in the country of Florin.

Her favorite past times

were riding her horse

and tormenting the farm

boy that worked there.

His name was Westley, but

she never called him that."

Isn't that a wonderful beginning?

GRANDSON: Yeah, it's really good.

Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle.

I want to see my face in it by morning.

As you wish.

GRANDFATHER: "'As you wish'

is all he ever said to her."

Farm boy? Fill this with water.

- Please?

- As you wish.

GRANDFATHER: "That day,

she was amazed to discover

that when he was saying 'As you wish'

what he meant was 'I love you.'"

- Farm boy?

- GRANDFATHER: "And even more amazing

was the day she realized

she truly loved him back."

Would you fetch me that pitcher?

♪

As you wish.

♪

What is this? Are you

trying to trick me?

Where's the sports?

- Is this a kissing story?

- Wait.

- Just wait.

- When's it get good?

Keep your shirt on. Let me read.

"It was a very emotional

time for Buttercup."

- But I fear I'll never see you again.

- Of course you will.

But what if something happens to you?

Hear this now. I will

always come for you.

But how can you be so sure?

This is true love.

You think this happens every day?

♪

GRANDFATHER 2: "Westley

didn't reach his destination.

His ship was attacked by

the Dread Pirate Roberts

who never left captives alive.

♪

"When Buttercup got the news

that Westley was m*rder*d "

m*rder*d by pirates is good.

GRANDFATHER 2: "She went into

her room and shut the door,

and for days, she

neither slept nor ate."

I will never love again.

[TRUMPET PLAYS FANFARE]

My people!

A month from now, our country will

celebrate its 500th anniversary.

And on that sundown,

I shall marry a lady

who was once a commoner like yourselves.

- MAN 1: No way!

- MAN 2: Really?

Would you like to meet her?

[CHEERING]

My people!

The Princess Buttercup!

[FANFARE PLAYING]

♪

GRANDFATHER 2: "Buttercup's

emptiness consumed her.

Although the law of the land

gave Humperdinck the

right to choose his bride,

she did not love him."

[CRIES]

[CRIES]

- A word, m'lady.

- [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]

Check the gate!