01x04 - File: Fool Erna

[bunniefuu]

I'm back.

Sorry I took so long.

I finished the Impossible Mission,

but there was a lot that I failed to achieve.

I hope you don't mind me burying you here, Master,

even if all I have of you is a finger.

You're all here?

There was really no need for everyone to come.

Boss,

the nine of us are a new team called Lamplight,

and we're going to pick up where Inferno left off.

I hope you're watching over us.

20 Days Before the Impossible Mission

In twenty days, we'll be heading to the Galgad Empire

to begin the Impossible Mission.

Until then, I'll continue forging you all into proper spies.

We're going to complete this mission,

and we're all going to make it back alive.

is what he said!

Now, let's come together as a group

and pull out at all the stops to beat Teach!

Yeah!

SPY CLASSROOM

FILE: Fool Erna

Whaddya say I take point on our next plan?

It'll work, I promise!

We need to start by gathering intel.

I still think

our only shot is to discover where he's

vulnerable and blackmail him.

He's a first-rate spy among first-rate spies.

Our best option is to find some way of detaining him.

It'd be quickest if I just used my bombs to

blow the whole manor off the map, yo!

There's just one thing I don't understand.

When we attacked him in the bathroom the other day,

why wasn't the changing room locked properly?

I'm sorry, was that directed at me?

I mean, you were the one in charge of lock duty.

Hey, don't look at me.

I sealed it off with a combination lock.

There's no way to open it without the six-digit code.

At least own up to your mistake.

With how bad the attack squad shat the bed,

I don't think you're one to talk.

All right, that's enough.

Teamwork is the name of the game right now.

Here, these'll help you cool off.

Ooh, financiers.

Dang, that's good.

If you want seconds, all you have to do

is bow down to your glorious leader.

I do agree that we should work on our coordination.

Yeah, and the bonds between us as friends!

That's what really matters!

Hey, you got anything to add?

All this talk about "bonds" is just platitudes.

Spies can't afford to give out their trust that easily.

Do you, uh, want a financier?

No.

I'm going for a walk.

I didn't mean it like that.

I just wanted to remind them that

it's a spy's job to doubt everything.

They keep talking about friendship,

but I just don't feel that close with them yet,

especially with how I showed up late.

And plus, if I get too close to them-

Hey, kid, hold up a second.

Looking at those nice clothes you've got,

I'd say you're a member of the bourgeois.

You mind coming with us?

C'mon, let's be friends.

You can think of it as an act of philanthropy.

Friends?

Tell me, mister,

how are we supposed to become friends?

See?

Now you wanna be my friend, right?

How unlucky

Huh?

Can we go this way?

How unlucky

Just as my whole life has been.

Huh?

I get dragged into them day in and day out

Accidents, tragedies, calamities

What're you muttering about?

But it's let me kind of sense them.

I can tell when and where misfortune will strike.

I'm code name Fool,

and it's time to k*ll with everything.

Goodbye, mister.

Your clothes are a mess!

What happened?!

I'll carry out the next attack solo.

I want the rest of you to help from the sidelines.

Are

Are you sure you can handle it?

She'll be fine, yo!

We went to the same academy for a while,

so I know the rumors!

Wh-what are you talking about?

Erna's a really unlucky girl!

That's why she'll be fine!

Unlucky?

I don't see what's fine about that at all.

Someone I knew got into an accident, yo.

That's why our friend here got transferred!

Right?

Huh?

Bad things happen to the people around me.

And if they died, it was written off as an accident.

The way I specialize in accidents and misfortune

makes me the perfect assassin.

I'm

I'm a horrible person.

I'll overpower Teach.

Then, everyone will respect me

and compliment me and not abandon me

This time, I'm going to become

proper friends with the group.

Teach, what a coincidence.

Lily tripped over my paints last night,

so I had to replace them.

Is it just you?

It's my turn to go shopping for the group.

Everyone else is training

to get ready for the next attack.

I'll be sure to look forward to it.

This is bad.

I need to keep the conversation going

so I can lure him in!

What is it you're buying?

On your shopping-

Gr-groceries, and soap, and an alarm clock.

One of the curtains got torn, so a little bit of fabric.

And if I find something cute,

I might get a new set of pajamas.

That sounds like a lot to carry on your own.

I'll come help.

Where to first?

I want to go to the clothing store on Main Street.

Got it.

I'm sorry.

You're about to be struck by misfortune, Teach.

Well, that was dangerous.

Are you all right?

T-Teach, you're okay?

Never better.

I punctured its tire.

If it had kept on going like that,

it could have k*lled someone.

But it happened so fast

The police can handle the rest.

It's okay.

I still smell more misfortune.

Yeep!

Oh dear, this one got chipped.

He's an actual, factual monster!

I believe that's the last item from your list.

Th-that's right.

But there are still places I want to-

I think this farce has gone on long enough.

The teachers at your academy told me

about your ability.

They called you a girl who attracts misfortune.

You have a predisposition for bad luck.

At least, that's how I'm referring to it

for the sake of convenience.

No condition that unscientific actually exists,

so perhaps I should call it intropunitive ideation.

I remember hearing about that mansion fire,

and about the young girl who was its sole survivor.

The incident made you fixated on the idea

that it was unfair that only you got to live.

So, you seek out punishment.

Your subconscious sniffs out misfortune

and guides you towards it.

I knew it, I am a horrible person.

People really misunderstand you.

I'll tell you what's really unlucky:

that a girl with your talents never got

the respect she deserved for them.

You've done well.

The way I see it, you're the luckiest girl there is.

Yeep?

A lot of people all got saved thanks to you.

That runaway car could have hit another pedestrian.

The people on the street could have been

splashed when that stew fell over.

The mad dog could have bitten a child,

and the bricks could have fallen on that woman.

I'm bad luck and an ill omen and detestable!

You've been spending time with a demon

who drowns people in misfortune!

Well, I certainly haven't been drowned.

But

What's wrong?

Are you crying?

I

You?

I'm not crying!

What is it?

I-it's nothing

If I tell him, Teach might leave me.

But

since it's him

Teach, would you mind following me?

FILE: Fool Erna

I assume you're aware, Erna, but we're surrounded.

Who's there?

Don't move an inch.

We've got a hostage.

No way a councilman's daughter runs away

and leaves a constituent to die, yeah?

You can play dumb all you want,

but we already know exactly who you are.

What's going on?

I don't know.

They seem to have us confused for someone else,

but I doubt we can convince them of that.

Can you take them out?

I can't.

Teach?

The part about them having a hostage is true.

We'll have to just go along with their demands.

At least my transmitter is still-

We're tied up, there are no windows,

and the guards are armed.

Where's the rest of the team?

They were tailing us, right?

My transmitter broke.

Probably because of my bad luck

I really am a horrible person

I'm sorry, Teach.

This is all my fault.

I always bring misfortune to people.

I drag them in, and they get hurt

I should just stay away from everyone.

The boss is here.

Get up.

Well, well, well, we meet again.

The man from yesterday

You know, I was planning to just run you over.

So, you were behind that runaway car.

But then, I heard some interesting info

that made me want to kidnap you instead.

Don't touch her.

Excuse me?

If you let us go right now,

I'm prepared to overlook all this.

You think you're real tough, huh?!

I dunno if you're some hotshot bodyguard or what,

but you need to learn when to shut the hell up!

I'll give you one more warning.

Don't you lay your filthy hands on her.

You just don't get it, do you?

Change of plans.

I wasn't gonna k*ll you because I heard you'd make

for a good bargaining chip, but screw it.

Boss!

Where exactly did you get this nonsensical,

wildly-incorrect intel of yours?

That's none of your business.

Did it come from a teenage girl?

You're a dead man!

Teach!

Magnificent.

It was too well-ex*cuted to be a mere coincidence.

For a supposed case of mistaken identity,

the countermeasures you used against me

were entirely too effective.

Let me guess.

After you failed to run this girl over,

you ran into a silver-haired girl wearing a ribbon.

That girl then fed you fake intel on us

under the guise of sharing rumors.

Believing her, you decided to kidnap us.

For your hostage, you chose a black-haired girl

you just happened to run across.

And you learned our destination

from a girl with white hair.

Is any of this ringing a bell?

How could you possibly

This is quite impressive.

In just ten days, you've all improved faster

than I could have ever imagined.

It's no wonder I didn't notice.

These man took their hostage in earnest,

and when they threatened us, they meant every word.

It was a brilliant strategy.

Wh-who is this guy?!

What're you babbling about?!

This time, you're f*ck' dead!

There's just one thing I want to know.

How much longer should I keep

playing along with this game?

Attack!

If you think you can beat me, you're dreaming.

I hit narcotic paydirt, yo!

This will be enough to get them all arrested!

Wh-what's going on?!

You would think that playing the hostage

would be an easy role, but apparently not.

I'm so sorry, Erna.

You gave us more good fortune than we planned for,

so we had to improvise on the fly.

We decided to bet on your ability!

I mean, I did try to stop them.

I was like, think of how sad it'll make Erna!

Quit tryin' to cover your own a*s.

You should try working together with the others.

Lamplight's like me.

The kind of misfortune you bring

isn't nearly enough to k*ll us.

He's got that right!

All right, Teach!

This time, we finally caught you!

I could have died, you know.

I'm sure it would take more than

a few b*ll*ts to k*ll you.

Five minutes from now, the authorities will be here.

You already made the call?

Clever.

At this rate, they're gonna haul you away, too.

And what kind of pathetic spy gets questioned

by his own country's police?

I mean, if you say you surrender, then lick my boots

while calling me Lily the Great, I guess I could-

Those chains were designed for tying up big game

You aren't qualified to be my enemies.

How the hell did we still lose

after going to lengths like that?!

I'm bummed out, yo.

I guess that's Teach for you.

First the combination lock, now the chains.

How does he do it?

That's a good question.

The strength it would have taken to

break through those big game chains

I, um

I know how he was able to destroy the chains.

When we got captured, Teach used a jewel he had

hidden in his mouth to buy off one of the guards.

How do you mean?

He got the man to damage the chains.

Then, he intentionally provoked the guy in charge

to get him to open fire.

So, he used the b*ll*ts to hit the weakened sections?

That would be enough to tear through any chains,

no matter how robust they were.

I think he used the same trick to

open the combination lock.

All he had to do was buy one of us off and

get them to tell him the code in advance.

Y-you mean, one of us is a spy?!

We're all spies.

Right, right

Now that you mention it,

there was one person who always chimed in

whenever the topic of the lock came up.

Yeah, and someone who kept going on

about bonds and trusting each other!

Hey, Lily, I've got a question for you.

Where'd you get those financiers?

I was just

Look, Teach basically made me do it!

He said that I needed practice lying,

and you all needed practice doubting your allies.

Wow, what a great leader,

accepting her friends' hatred for the good of the team!

It definitely wasn't the ridiculously-scrumptious

snacks that sealed the deal, no way!

Remember that whole thing about how we're spies,

and we can't afford to give out our trust so easily?

A-hem!

You know, I just got an idea.

Wait, don't tell me

Teach, I just snatched up some information

you're gonna want to hear!

The others wrote out their whole plan.

Here, look!

Heh, you're wide open!

You got paint all over my maidenly nose!

That was awesome, yo!

Wh-What do you mean?

They treated you like a washout at the academy,

but you're totally awesome!

I give you my praise, yo!

Well, of course I am.

I guess I don't mind being your friend.

H-how unlucky!

I think I'm going to get along with the others.

I see.

It's all thanks to you, Teach.

I still have a lot to learn.

Are you ever going to finish that painting?

That's a fair question.

I bought all this new paint,

but it just isn't speaking to me.