Hello.
Welcome, honored
guests to your paradise at sea.
Before we embark, there is
a mandatory safety briefing.
Safety first.
I like it.
Please check your boarding pass
to locate your muster station.
Why do you think they call
it a muster station anyway?
It's the only word
they could muster.
Dad is not here.
Shall we leave his
jokes on the mainland?
Couldn't resist.
Please try, at least
for seven days,
because we would like
to enjoy ourselves.
You will enjoy.
Meanwhile, I'll be planning
a huge corporate buyout
hopped up on Dramamine.
Look, it's a big ship.
You shouldn't get seasick.
I get seasick when I
open up a can of tuna fish.
Only you could
complain about seeing
four of the most beautiful
cities on the Mediterranean.
Who wants to go to several
different cities on a boat
when you can stay
in one beautiful city
for the whole time?
About 35 million people
annually and growing.
Another reason why now has never
been a better time to expand
into luxury sea travel.
Have you been reading my pitch?
It's impossible not to.
Your laptop is
everywhere that I look.
Yeah, it's because my boss
is everywhere that I look.
You have no idea what it's
like working for Adam Crandall.
Well, maybe...
I'll never let you go, Jack.
Too tight!
Oh, you're uptight.
We don't complain,
though, right?
You gotta get those
sea legs, bro.
I'll work on that.
I am so glad that
you joined your brother
on this last-minute adventure.
Parker speaks the world of you.
Oh, well he's told
me a lot about you.
And, you know, apparently,
you're quite the boss
to work for.
I'll take that as a compliment.
OK.
So, uh, you're in PR, correct?
Yes, but I'm actually
in between jobs right now.
Well, I'm sure you'll be fine.
Parker says you're
the best in the business.
Did he?
Oh, yeah.
Parker is always bragging about
his talented little sister.
OK, we're going to go, and we're
going to settle into our cabin.
Well, I'm going to go
check out the duty-free shop.
I gotta up my watch
game before I start
schmoozing with the bigwigs.
I'll see you two
later, hopefully.
- Yeah.
- All right.
Ciao.
Ciao.
And, um, don't forget
to tweak the waterfalls
for the new cash flow model.
The investors want to make
sure we hit the milestones.
Yeah, I'm on that, Adam.
I got you.
If this deal closes, we'll
never have to work again.
Well, I... I won't.
You still will.
But I'm sure they'll hire you,
you know, for the handover,
with a much bigger
salary of course.
- OK.
- Later.
Bye.
Emily, so nice to meet you.
Yeah, you too.
What?
Stop flirting with my boss.
I'm not flirting.
I was being nice.
- Be neutral.
- OK.
Shall we go to the room now?
You go to your room
and take this to mine, please.
I gotta go check the lifeboats.
OK.
You do you.
Hi, George.
Let me guess, you're
calling to tell me
how important this
report is, even
though you know how seriously
I take all of my assignments.
You know me too well.
Well, we've been working
together for 10 years.
I better.
Yes, and you know I trust you.
You've never let me down.
But this time, you
definitely can't let me
down, because this one is big.
Yeah, it all happened so fast.
You kind of have to fill
me in on this one.
We were hired by Staley
and Scholes Venture Capital.
They're looking to acquire
the luxury cruise division
from the Crandall Corporation.
But they need you to find out
if there's any good reasons
for them not to invest.
OK, got it.
I don't want you to go analog on me.
Put the notepad down
and upload your findings
on the app like everyone else.
Well, I can tell you that the
bathrobe needs to be updated.
It's very scratchy.
Again, don't tell me.
Just upload it to the app.
George, you know I do my best
work when I'm unplugged.
I wish we
had the time for you to do
your normal routine,
but they need
your final report before you
reach Dubrovnik on Friday.
Understood.
But I still need to be
incognito, right?
I'm supposed to be on vacation.
And I can't do that
with my nose in a phone.
Kelly,
you know you're my best rep.
I'm sure you'll figure it out.
I love it when you treat it
like it's Mission Impossible.
Whatever it
takes to deliver on this one.
I'm counting on you.
- OK.
Attention, guests, please
report to your muster stations.
OK, George, gotta go.
I got to go check
the safety protocols,
and then I'm going to check out
the vibe in the dining room.
Return, report, and upload.
Aye aye, Captain.
Oh!
Uh... are you OK?
Uh, yeah.
What are you doing?
I'm just preparing
for the inevitable "what if."
Is this your first cruise?
No, but hopefully it is my last.
How about you?
Is this your first?
- No.
LA born and raised.
I'm an ocean girl.
Oh, well, what's
your favorite ocean?
And please, be Pacific.
Sorry, my sister accuses me
of having resting dad humor.
It's like whatever wordplay
bounces into my head,
I just blurt it out.
I'm trying to cure myself.
I'm Parker.
Kelly.
Hi, Kelly.
Um, so do you... do
you like to travel?
I do actually.
It's, uh, well,
kind of my passion.
So if you need any travel
tips, you could just ask me.
Yeah, nope.
I'm pretty much going
to stay here on the boat
and just get a lot of work done.
Oh, that's a shame.
You know what's a shame is
these pipes look pretty rusty.
But, you know, the Wi-Fi is
really good on the boat now.
I know.
It's a shame too.
I just like it better when
you're off the grid, you know?
Yeah.
You know what?
See, I love the grid.
I mean, I'll step out
of it a little bit here,
a little bit there,
but I'm a grid man.
Real risk taker, huh?
Well, I love a risk.
I just want the word
"calculated"
right in front of it.
Let me guess, finance guy.
Worse, I'm also a lawyer.
I am in charge of mergers
and acquisitions
for the Crandall
Corporation, which is this.
Wow, that is a big deal.
How does it feel to have
your boss on the cover
of every magazine in the world?
Oh, I would never know.
Yeah, except for that he takes
them all, he cuts them out,
he frames them, and he hangs
them all over the office.
Other than that,
really humble guy.
Huh.
Yeah.
What about you?
What do you do?
Uh, I make it a point of not
talking about work on vacation.
Well, that's funny,
because I make it
a point not to go on vacation.
I think vacations are
for the unfulfilled.
I mean, it's the only excuse I
have for my workaholic nature.
And you, what's your excuse?
Pardon me?
Well, you're dressed so fancy...
all corporate... for someone
who's here to relax.
When in Rome, dress fancy.
Right?
I mean, when we're out to sea,
it'll be a different ball game.
I'm looking forward
to that transformation.
If you ever leave
the Wi-Fi zone.
I won't.
Speaking of which, I
have some waterfalls
that I need to attend to.
- Oh.
Yeah.
Nice to meet you.
Do you mean the Due Rocche
waterfalls in Palermo?
No, no, I mean the boring
spreadsheet kind.
Oh.
Well, have fun with that.
I definitely won't.
- Hey.
- Hi.
I'm Emily.
Oh, Kelly.
Well, welcome
to the singles section.
Apparently, they don't think we
need a view or any single men
to talk to.
- Yeah.
It's a good start.
I see that.
Hmm.
But seriously, have you noticed
there aren't many eligible
bachelors on this cruise?
Uh, I met one.
Yeah.
A bit of an odd duck, but I did.
Oh, actually, he is swimming
over here right now.
Yeah, he's definitely odd.
Cute though, right?
Yeah, I don't see it.
Really?
Really.
Yeah, it might be
because he's my brother.
That might be why.
OK.
Nailed the odd part.
Did somebody say odd?
No.
I mean, yes, we...
we said, what are the "odds-uh."
That's a fun game.
Let's figure it out.
I was an actuary
as an intern for a summer.
So let's just do this thing.
If the cruise ship
is full to capacity,
and we're not
including the staff,
the odds of us being at the same
table would be 2,500 to 1.
That's "actuary"
a very good guess.
Oh, did you hear that?
A woman after my own laugh.
No, please do not encourage him.
OK?
- Sorry.
I'll stop.
I was full on choking
out a grizzly bear
with my bare hands.
I'm not kidding.
- My brother recorded it.
- Is that Adam Crandall?
Yeah.
That's why I am
still clocked in.
You didn't say he was
going to be on board.
No, I didn't.
Because, you know what, I knew
that he would make himself
known sooner rather than later.
Why isn't he
at the singles table?
Yeah, because he's
at that table.
He's entertaining the entire
board of Staley and Scholes.
Right, because they're
looking to buy
out Crandall Cruise Lines.
Of course.
How'd you know that?
Because you said
that you were an M&A
and that Adam was
your boss, and I...
I put two and two together.
- You're smart.
- Yeah.
Just don't add it up
yet, because there's
a lot of hurdles we
gotta leap first,
which is why I've
got my laptop open.
Well, will you just
get it done, please?
I promise I will take
you on another vacation
after this vacation
as soon as I close this.
But until then, I am
clocked in and locked in.
But you promised
me you'd take a break
and we'd do that
walking tour of Palermo.
And you are not
backing out of it.
No, I'm not.
We are going to do that.
- We better do...
- We're doing it.
OK.
Hey, you should come with us.
- Oh, I'd love to.
- Great.
Bellissimo.
Bellissimo.
Salute, huh?
Yes.
Cheers.
Cheers.
We would like
to remind all passengers that
they must return from
their excursions on time, as we
cannot wait for any latecomers.
Any guests that are
left behind must
make their own
travel arrangements
to the next port of call.
We wish you all
a wonderful day in Palermo.
Look at this!
There it is.
Yes.
Wow, look at that.
How's this?
- How's this?
- Perfect.
Is this one good?
OK?
Yeah.
Like a tree.
1, 2, 3.
You know, I got to give
it to you, Parker.
You were actually fun today.
Oh, what are you talking about?
I'm always fun.
No, I mean, like you used
to be on our family vacations.
I think I like vacation
Parker better too.
I am the same guy...
just with the crushing weight
of corporate America on my back
all the time.
Sorry.
Speaking of responsibility,
just excuse me a minute.
Yeah?
- So what are you talking about?
I am fun.
I'm fun.
I just mean, you know,
you're more present lately.
It's nice.
- Present?
Yes.
Present?
Like you were present with
the waiter? Uh
huh, si, si.
Did the walking
tour of Palermo today.
The cruise line was very helpful
with bookings and reservations.
However, some of the attractions
have become tourist traps.
An updated list of vendors
would be very helpful.
Two cannolis later?
They're really good.
And he's also very handsome.
- Yeah, I don't want to hear.
- When in Italy, you have to...
So sorry, guys.
Yeah.
So what happened to no work
talk while on vacation?
You are so right.
I am back to having fun.
Just fun.
What about you guys?
What do you have today?
More work?
Well, the only work I will be
doing is on my tan on the beach.
I want to go
into my work interviews
looking well rested, successful,
and a little bronzed.
I will see you at dinner,
and please don't work too hard.
Yeah, please wear sunscreen,
because no one wants
to hire a lobster for a PR rep!
Got it!
Well, what about you?
Do you have more
work, or do you want
to come see waterfall with me?
I would love
to see the waterfall.
I looked it up.
It looks amazing.
I would love to join you.
You don't have more
obligations with Mr. Crandall?
So, no, he is doing
a godfather tour of Corleon...
Corleon-ee, Corle-oney?
Corleone.
Corleone.
So he said I should
take the day off.
Well, that's an offer
you can't refuse.
I didn't refuse it, which is
why I want to be present and
go see the waterfall.
It was a...
I made a joke.
You know, the line?
What line?
I'll make
him an offer he can't refuse.
What?
From the Godfather.
Yeah... I haven't
seen that movie.
What?
I know.
I know.
It's something I'm
not very proud of.
I haven't gotten around to it.
My sister teases me about it.
I'll watch it.
- You know what?
I'm not going to judge.
Thank you.
I haven't seen Star Wars.
- What?
- Yeah.
What?
Hold on.
What?
OK, you haven't...
OK, no.
I know, we're both
being vulnerable here.
I get that.
It's a safe space.
So do you want to go see
about a waterfall with me?
You want to finish our desserts
First?
Eh, leave the cake.
Take the cannoli.
Again, from the
God... never mind.
I don't know
if this is such a good idea.
I'm starting to get
worried about time.
That's why we're
doing the horseback
auction instead of hiking.
We're going to be back
with over an hour to spare.
We are good.
Ah, and there are our stallions.
Though they look a little
more like ponies.
Yeah!
No, those are donkeys.
- What?
- Yeah.
How do you know?
Well, because I did my fifth
grade science fair project
on equine animals, and these
are definitely the species
equus asinus.
Bravo, asino.
He knows his things.
So these are your donkeys,
and these are your hats.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Yes.
Um, the... the pamphlet
said horseback.
Well, you were
the last one to book.
So the first group
got all the horses,
and this is what we have left.
Please.
- OK.
I mean, it'll be fine, right?
- Yeah.
- It's fine.
- No.
You know what,
the donkey is actually
smarter, safer than the horse.
Give me the phone.
That's according to my World
Book Encyclopedia knowledge.
Easy, boy.
I hope your work
was peer reviewed.
You swing your leg around.
Hey, yes.
Swing your leg.
- You got it.
- OK.
Careful the hat.
Like this.
Nice.
Signore, where's your donkey?
What do you mean?
Aren't you our guide?
With donkeys, you
don't need a guide.
You need this.
And they will follow.
I'm sorry, are we
in a Looney Tunes episode.
Don't worry, they know the way.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Hey, buddy.
Yeah.
Yee-haw!
Come on!
Enjoy!
Hey, don't lose the hat.
I don't know about this.
I think I'm getting
the hang of this.
And you know what, now
that I see the terrain,
I am very glad we
got the safer option.
Yeah, it's true.
Horses, they're flight animals,
preferring to flee from danger,
where donkeys,
they've evolved to be
a little bit more cautious.
And more food
motivated, obviously.
Honestly, I don't think a horse
would care at all about us.
I'd laugh, but I'm still a
little concerned about the fact
that we don't have
the handler with us.
I mean, you mounted
your seat like a pro,
but you saw how
much help I needed.
Well, you know what, you
got nothing to worry about.
I did a dude ranch
for a bachelor weekend once.
And I was awarded the best
cowhand, I might add.
So you're good.
I know my way around a corral.
That's impressive.
Ooh, you hear that?
We're almost there.
Whoa.
Parker, are you seeing this?
Did you see it?
Look!
Wow.
It's beautiful.
Come on.
Stop.
Wow.
Wow!
Um, I'm going to need
you to help me get out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, my lady.
Thank you.
OK.
Ready?
You got your leg around?
Boom, there you go.
Come here.
Ooh, that's a girl.
Parker, you gotta see this!
I'm coming!
I'm coming!
This is incredible!
Come here.
Come here, come here, come here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, all right.
Ready?
Smile.
Woo!
Now, this is an excursion.
And I didn't think you
liked to be off the grid.
Ah, you know, this,
it's grid adjacent.
Still pretty wild of you.
When I first met
you, I never thought
you'd get off the lido deck.
Well, you can blame my sister.
Nothing like a little
sibling rivalry to motivate.
Yeah, but look at me having
all sorts of spontaneous fun.
I got a gorgeous waterfall.
I'm standing next
to a beautiful woman
while our trusty
steeds await our...
return.
Come back!
Donkey!
Donkey!
Donkeys!
My hat!
Leave it!
No, he's going
to charge us for it he said.
How are donkeys so fast now?
They're getting away!
Less talking!
More running!
Oh, my back.
My back.
They're totally gone.
Oh!
How did they get loose?
I must have tied them up wrong.
What, I thought
you won best cowhand?
I was terrible at tying knots.
What do we do?
We gotta run.
Please
note, we will be departing
from port in one hour.
So ensure you, your belongings,
and your entire party
are safely on board.
Hey, Emily.
Hey!
You hit the beach yet?
I did.
Got the perfect
amount of sunburn
and my trashy Gothic romance
novel is almost reading itself.
So.
Hey, how was the Godfather tour?
It was awesome.
I basically acted out
the whole entire film.
You know, I can't
believe your brother
still hasn't seen it yet.
I think we might need
to rough him up for that.
Oh, no, no, no.
Never take sides
against the family.
Who are you?
Where is your brother, anyway?
Is he locked up
in his room someplace?
He's actually out
with a really cute
girl from the singles table.
- Parker?
Yeah.
Well, they should
be back any minute.
He said he wants to play it safe
since the boat waits for no man.
I'm just glad he's
putting himself out there.
It's about time, right?
I'd say.
Hey, I'm actually
going to shuffle
on up to the shuffleboard.
What do you think
about maybe joining me?
Well, I mean, I was going
to wait for those guys.
But I could play while I wait.
He's a big boy.
I think he'll be fine.
We're not going to be fine.
The boat's going
to leave in an hour.
We're never going to make it.
- Not with that attitude.
OK, we got to stay positive,
and they're going to fix it.
Listen, the navigation
says even if we do,
it's an hour and 16
minutes away.
So we'll tell him
to step on it, OK?
Italian drivers are very fast.
OK, listen, even if he
does get it started...
Yeah!
Hey!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
This is not OK!
Oh, we must be
at the wrong dock.
No, we're not.
Look.
Oh, that is so our boat.
Ah, why didn't they wait for us?
Because they don't
wait for anybody.
It's their policy!
I have to be on that ship.
My career depends on it.
- Mine too.
I thought you were on vacation.
Yes, I am.
I am.
If I don't relax
when I'm on vacation,
I'm going to be very stressed
when I get back to work.
Yeah, well,
my laptop and my career
are literally sailing
away on that ship.
Everything depends on me
being on that boat.
Why are we lying down?
Why are we lying down?
Because I tweaked
my back on the run.
Oh, my gosh.
Are you OK?
Yeah, I'm fine.
No, it happens.
I just... I need to stretch
it out a little.
You know what, I
don't think we really
have time to stretch it out.
I think we have to go
get the port agent and
see what's... if he can help us.
OK?
OK.
Oh, we got this.
All right, let's go.
Hello.
Hello.
You must be Kelly Coates
and Parker Andrews.
Unfortunately, yes.
Yeah, you missed the ship.
Yeah.
No, we're aware of that.
We warned you.
The ship, it waits for no man.
And it waits for no woman also.
Understood.
Yeah, thank you
for making that point.
However, here we are.
Still need to make it
to the next port in Syracuse.
You really should've
taken a ship.
You know, we wanted
to take the ship,
but we missed the ship.
Are there any other
options maybe?
Can we maybe take a plane?
The nearest airport
to Syracuse is Catania.
But you won't catch
a flight at this hour.
Right.
You could try in the morning,
but all the flights,
they connect to Rome.
OK.
How about a train?
Is there a night
train we could take?
I would suggest
that you hire a car
and you drive through the night.
- Yes!
- Great idea.
Yes.
I have just the thing for you.
Ooh.
My twin brother, Vincenzo, he
has a lovely company in town.
He will fix you up.
I will tell him
that you are coming.
But you need to hurry, huh,
because it's tourist season.
He may not have
many cars available.
He's a little bit stubborn, huh.
So you need to...
Grazie mille.
Yeah, grazie.
Americano.
I am very sorry
to disappoint you,
but we have no
more car available.
What do you mean?
Hold on a second.
We've been waiting
in line for 45 minutes!
Why didn't you tell us that?
It's written here.
In Italian.
We don't speak Italian.
But we're in Italy.
You should study.
OK.
The other people
in line, what about them?
They all have a reservation.
So if you'll kindly step
aside for the next customer.
Pronto.
- I got to get back on the boat.
What are we going to do?
I don't know.
OK.
You are in luck.
I have just received
a cancellation,
so there is one car available.
Great.
If you'll kindly
give me your credit
card and driver's license,
I will hold it for you.
Here's a card.
I don't have
my driver's license.
What?
Why?
I brought my passport.
I don't have two forms
of identification.
I'm not opening a bank account.
- You know what, it's fine.
It's fine.
We'll just... we're
going to use mine.
It's in here somewhere.
I will need it
to hold the reservation.
I am aware.
It's right here.
I know it's right...
It's right here.
I can help you
if you let me help you.
No, I got it.
Here.
You know what...
thanks, got it.
Thank you.
Hold on, hold on.
Uno momento.
Hah!
Boom!
I'm very sorry, but in the time
it took you to find
your license,
there was an online booking
for this automobile.
- Come one!
- My apologies.
I do not control the bookings.
Perhaps you should
try the night train.
The what?
Your brother said that
there was no night train...
that we should rent a car.
Of course, because Vito
is a good brother,
and I give him 10%
for the referrals.
That is a little
upsetting, because we
clearly needed to rent a car.
No time to argue.
Your train, it leaves
in less than 20 minutes.
Not nice!
Not nice!
Ah!
Running is k*lling my back!
- OK!
Train station should be right
up around this corner, OK?
Do not stop to get tickets!
Just... just get
right on the train.
We gotta buy tickets!
They're going to kick us off!
You can get them
on the train, OK?
Just trust me.
- I trust you.
- OK.
I trust you.
We cannot miss this!
Frank, I want to hear
the rest of that story.
That is a good one.
All right.
Hello, hello, hello there.
Do you mind if I borrow this
young lady for a second?
Yeah.
Good to see you guys.
Hey, have you heard anything?
Last I heard, they're
in line for a rental car,
and then they just straight
up stopped answering.
So I hope he's OK.
Well, me too.
He usually spends most
of his time in a spreadsheet.
This wasn't exactly
his, uh, strong suit.
I'm just glad he's
got Kelly with him.
I mean, she's going
to look after him.
I mean, if they're back
to Syracuse by noon tomorrow,
they should be fine, right?
Yeah.
He's probably panicking without
his laptop attached to his lap.
I need that dude's nose
in that laptop more than anyone.
Come on, that's four days away.
He's definitely going
to be back by then.
He's got his health,
his passport,
and he's with a beautiful,
intelligent woman.
I think this is good for him.
That's one way to look at it.
I see the door!
We're almost there.
Are you with me?
I'm with you.
I got you.
Are you OK.
We're good!
Oh, my!
OK.
OK.
Track two.
Track two!
Oh, there!
Track two!
Track two!
Wait!
Wait!
Yeah!
OK.
Are you OK?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm good.
We did it.
I'm good.
OK.
Let's see if we
can get some seats.
Oh, no.
Hello.
OK.
OK, I'm starting
to sense a theme here.
A little pattern here.
I hope we can find a seat.
What if we sit
in the caboose hobo style?
I mean, it's gotta be
somewhere with a seat, right?
Oh, what do you think?
Yeah, it's better than nothing.
That's right.
- Hello.
- Ciao.
Ciao.
Hello.
Thank you.
I am never riding
a donkey again.
Hey, it's not
the animals' fault.
We shouldn't have gotten
off them in the first place.
In fact, I shouldn't have
gone on the excursion at all.
It was wildly irresponsible.
OK, it was also so fun,
and not to mention, gorgeous.
Wow.
Yeah, that's
a beautiful picture.
You know, why don't
you text that to me.
I'm going to print
it up, frame it, and
hang it on my home
office wall, because I'm
going to get fired this week.
Parker, you gotta breathe, OK?
You missed one stop.
If your boss wants to fire
you for an honest mistake,
you're not meant
to be there, OK?
No, sorry.
I'm just... you know, I'm
just a little on edge.
Forgive me, I don't know why.
I'm not going to get any sleep
tonight, my back's already hurt,
and I've got
the laptop withdrawals.
Oh, right, the precious laptop.
Oh, you're one to talk,
you and that precious notepad
of yours.
What are you talking about?
Uh, the notepad that
fell out of your purse.
When I tried to hand
it back to you,
you snatched it away like it
was your middle school diary.
I did not do that.
What are you hiding
in there, hmm, Kelly?
Kelly, why don't you tell
me what's inside of it.
Nothing.
- Well, then show me.
- No.
I wouldn't have taken
it, but that proves to me
that you're hiding something.
It is a work thing, and I don't
want to talk about it about it.
Why, because you're on vacation?
Yes!
Is that OK?
- That's fine.
- Great!
- Sure.
- Fine.
- Good.
- Great.
Thank you.
OK, I am going to try
to get some sleep.
Don't get too comfortable.
We're switching
trains in Messina.
OK.
OK.
Seriously, this is going
to be the longest night ever.
That's weird.
This is an express train.
It's not meant
to make local stops.
Are they stopping
the train because we
didn't pay for the tickets?
I told you we should have
paid for the tickets.
Because we didn't buy tickets?
I bought them online, OK?
Just relax.
Do you speak English?
English?
The train workers
are going on strike.
In the middle of the night?
They happen when they happen.
What's going to happen now?
The train is going
to stop in the next town,
and we're all going to get off.
Well, how long is
that going to take?
Could be a few hours.
Could be a few days.
OK.
How are you so calm?
This happens all
the time in Italy.
We got used to it.
How are the buses.
Do you think we could get one?
In the morning, yes.
But at this hour,
it's going to be hard.
Taxis?
Can we get a cab to take us?
I doubt it.
Taxis are really rare
when there is a strike.
Um, what are
the workers upset about?
Like, why are they striking?
Judging by the picket signs, it
looks like they are worried
about losing their jobs.
We've got that in common.
You think you could
translate for me?
I suppose.
Great.
What is she doing?
Hi!
I'm so... excuse me.
Sorry.
I know it's late.
I know we're all tired.
We're all a little bit stressed.
But if you want to just give
me a moment of your time,
I think I have something that
could cheer you up a little.
Take a look at this
handsome American by my side.
He might look like an average
tourist, but he's not.
This is Parker Andrews,
powerful businessman.
And he is key to helping
you save your jobs.
Parker is in Italy to secure
a large business deal that
will help bring more
tourism and help bring
more investments to your area.
And that, in turn,
would give more
business to the train company,
which could help save your jobs.
They like Sicily as it is.
They don't want too
many tourists here.
I respect that.
But that is the beauty of the
company that he is dealing with.
They are about
quality, not quantity.
So you will always
have tourism, but
they will ensure that the
service and the tours that they
bring will be
of the highest standard
that the Italian
people can be proud of.
And how they
can be sure of that?
Oh, because I work
for the company that makes sure
his company meet
the highest standards.
So I promise you that I will not
allow this deal to go
through unless it
is good for the Italian people.
So I'm not asking
you not to strike, OK?
I'm asking you
to wait six hours so
that we can get back on the ship
and finish our business.
So what do you say?
Can you help us help you?
Yeah?
Yes!
Oh, take my number.
If you need anything,
just give me a call.
- Bye.
- Thank you.
Bye.
OK.
You are very
lucky, Miss America.
Yes, I know.
I know.
I did not actually think
that that was going to work.
You're strong.
I like that.
And I'm from Syracuse,
so can go home.
Ah, prego.
Thank you.
Let's get us some good seats.
I'm coming in.
I'm dropping back.
It's fourth and 9.
It's fourth and 9.
A lot of pressure.
I dop back.
I see John on the post.
I drop back.
Then I throw the ball.
Completion and touchdown.
OK, I win.
We win.
All right?
Hey, would you guys
excuse me real quick?
Hi.
Hey.
Oh, investor time.
Hope I'm not intruding.
Absolutely not.
You're saving me.
These guys are, like, blasting
me with question after question.
Let's just say I could use
your brother right now.
Oh, well, I have good news.
I think.
So looks like their service
is pretty spotty,
but the last text I got
said they caught a night
train that's going
to get them into Syracuse
before we get to port.
That is smooth jazz to my ears.
I can't do this
alone much longer.
I'm running out of stories.
Well, in the meantime,
maybe I could help you,
like, schmooze it up a bit.
Oh?
I'm in PR.
After all, it's
kind of my thang.
Then by all means,
schmooze away.
You want to introduce me?
OK.
Ladies and gentlemen, I
would like you to meet Emily.
This is the sister
of our lead counsel
and a wonderful new friend.
Yeah, see, I would love to talk,
but I actually have
a strict mandatory dance
policy when I'm at a jazz club.
So maybe you can
help me with that.
Judy, let's hit
the floor and get crazy.
Just when I thought our seats
couldn't get any worse.
Just be grateful you
are on a moving train.
So, do you want
to talk about this?
Which part?
Oh, I don't even
know where to start.
The part where you
delivered a riveting speech
to break a workers strike
in Sicily, or the fact
that you casually
mentioned that you work
for the company that's
trying to k*ll the deal
that I'm trying to make.
OK, not what we're doing.
It's what you did for the Davies
Capital Rising Phoenix deal.
If I remember correctly, I
read that on the front page
of the journal.
- Uh huh.
And if you read
past the headline,
you would also have seen
that that was because they
had fraudulent product reviews.
Yeah.
Well, our cruise line doesn't.
And I never said you did.
Hmm.
Cornetto?
- No, thanks.
Brushed my teeth already.
Where'd you get a toothbrush?
Um, here.
You can have my spare.
I have everything in here.
Yeah, you do have
everything in that little bag,
including a notebook...
a notebook
in which you write nasty
things about the cruise ship.
Parker, it is my job.
And frankly, it is
none of your business.
Uh, it's a little bit...
And may I remind you
that I did not have
to do what I did back there.
I chose to do it
so that you would
have a chance to get back on
your boat and close your deal.
OK?
So I think a little grazie
mille or at least a grazie uno
would be appropriate.
It is why I offered
you a Cornetto.
I am grateful.
I am very grateful.
I'm also kind of blown away.
Like, literally don't
know how to process
what you did back there.
It was like a speech from
Remember the Titans and
Glengarry Glen Ross.
I mean, I'm still
in shock over it.
And I also am very stressed
out about the situation
that we're in right now.
And when I'm stressed,
I make a lot of jokes.
And my jokes are
sarcastic, and the sarcasm
gets me into a lot of trouble.
You should stick
to your dad jokes.
Well, I can't make
them unless I'm calm.
Hmm, that's actually
very useful information.
So what's up?
You got some dirt
you want to show
me in that notebook of yours?
Something about the cruise?
Any inside intel
you can give me?
First off, you
know I can't do that.
And second off, it's
kind of hard to review
a boat that you are not aboard.
So you want to get back
on that as badly as I do, huh?
I mean, I think I'm
a little more chill about it
than you in general.
But, you know,
yeah, it's be nice.
Chill?
Did you see you're chill?
Yeah.
I'd say it's more
like cold blooded.
You stood on a bench,
and you laid it out.
You could get the Newsies
to stop dancing and start
selling papes for Pulitzer.
It's just...
I like you when you're stressed.
You know, I'm one
third sarcastic myself?
You don't say.
Yeah, on my Irish side.
Naturally.
We should get some rest.
Yeah.
Otherwise, tomorrow's
going to be rough.
Don't get too comfortable.
We got to change
trains in Messina.
Thank you for informing me.
Hey, I'll be
Mess-seeing-ya later.
Oh, that is not one
of your best puns.
Are you Syracus-ing
me of making a bad joke?
Stop, please.
You're really off your game.
I told you I was stressed.
Here... you can use that.
It's been a while, but I've
been told that it's comfy.
Afraid I'm going
to give it a bad review?
No, I'm pretty
confident in the quality.
Hmm.
OK.
Four and half stars.
I'll take it.
You gotta be kidding me.
What's wrong?
My back went from bad
to worse after sleeping
on that sardine can last night.
OK, well, let's get
you back to the ship, OK?
I'm sure there's
a massage therapist there
that can make you feel better.
- Oh, that sounds like heaven.
The only problem is
I have to physically
make it back onto the ship.
It really hurts!
It's that bad, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Well, got us a cab.
You know, the pain,
it's like lightning.
I never know when
it's going to...
strike.
Man, it's really raining here!
Come on.
Let's go.
OK, let's get you in.
Come on.
All right.
Got it.
Hello!
Can you let me in?
Come on!
OK!
Un momento, per favore.
I don't have any service.
Do you have service?
Yeah, I do.
OK, can you look up
the address for the port?
Actually, how many
ports can there be?
I'm just going
to ask for the port.
No, no, no, no, no.
Un momento.
They're not at the port.
The storm... they gotta
reroute the ship.
OK, how long are they delayed?
They're not going there at all.
They're finding another
port to avoid the storm.
Uh...
- OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK, what are we going to do?
Hotel Colomba, per favore.
Come on!
Hi.
Hello.
- Hi.
How can I help you?
Uh, hi, Francesca.
My name is Parker
Andrews, and I'd
like to reserve two executive
suites for early check in.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't believe we
have availability.
I know you're
supposed to say that.
But I also know
that luxury resorts
such as the Hotel Colomba, they
hold back certain accommodations
for VIP members.
Sorry, I am not authorized
to disclose that information,
but I would be happy
to try and book you
with one of our competitors.
OK, well, luckily,
I am authorized.
So I'm Adam Crandall's
personal attorney,
and he loves this resort of all
the resorts that he owns,
even the ones that
float on the sea.
And he said, I simply
must stay here.
So if you want, I can call him.
Oh, no, that won't be necessary.
I'll be right back
with your room keys.
Matteo.
You know, you could have led
with the fancy business card
and the Adam Crandall mention.
Yeah, I know.
I don't like the name drop.
Um, but you could also thank me
for the luxury suite, Parker.
You could say that.
Apologies.
Thank you so much!
Oh, my back.
Ooh.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
It's fine.
It's OK.
I just need a little rest.
You just text me when
you're ready to go.
Because you know, as soon
as that weather clears,
we got to get back on the road.
- Right.
But the question
is, where do we go?
We don't even know
where the boat's going.
Well, we'll stay on top of it.
We cannot miss it a third time.
No, I will not let that happen.
I don't know what
to tell you, George.
We're in the middle
of a medicane here.
Excuse me.
What's a...
Oh, it's
a Mediterranean hurricane.
Look it up.
It's real.
I don't want to look up anything
unless it's your QC report
on the company's server.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
And I am doing my absolute best.
I'm actually staying
at their top tier hotel
in Syracuse, which technically
will be a part of the buyout.
So I'm doing quality
control as we speak.
That's
really great to know, Kelly.
But the client wants a QC
report on their cruise
liner, not their hotels.
I need you back on the boat now.
OK, you got it.
Hello?
Oh, OK.
It's like heaven, Maria.
I am doing everything
I can to get back.
In fact, I threw out
my back trying to do so.
I had no idea that a freak
storm was going to send the ship
to the other side of Italy.
Well, I
know it's not your fault.
I'm just getting really
stressed over here
dealing with all these suits.
You know what I'm saying?
The storm
and the reroute kind of
freaked them out with
the unpredictability
of this type of investment.
So I'm just hoping it
doesn't scare them, you know?
That's just
a negotiation tactic.
That's why we have force
majeure built into the deal.
Don't sweat that.
They're just... they're bluffing.
So how is it out there, huh?
Are you weathering the storm.
Are you guys drenched?
Well, it hasn't rained a drop.
They rerouted us
to some Greek isle.
I don't know, Corfu
or something like that.
So we missed the storm entirely.
The sun's shining, and I'm
on my second frozen c*ck.
Seriously?
Well, how are the waves
out there, man?
Are they... are they huge?
It's like glass out here.
I could easily
barefoot water ski.
Hey, that actually reminds me...
I know a dude in Lake
Como that has the sickest,
most righteous setup.
We are going after we
close this bad boy.
If... if we close.
I don't like that talk, man.
I think I found a bit
of a situation out here.
I don't like that either.
What's going on?
You know the woman that I'm
stuck here with from the cruise?
Oh, the cutie with
the Mary Poppins bag?
Wait, how do you know
about the Mary Poppins bag?
Well, your sister told me.
Anyway, what's wrong?
She sounds like the good
kind of problem, Parker.
I found out that she
is the secret shopper
for Staley and Scholes due
diligence and quality control.
Oh, wait, excuse me.
Excuse me.
- Valeria, right?
- Yeah.
All right.
Can I get some calamari?
- Yeah, sure.
- Excellent.
Thank you.
- Adam.
Oh, Valeria... grilled, please.
Adam?
Adam, are you there?
Sorry, I was
ordering some calamari.
No carbs though.
I mean, it's bad news,
but it's not... it's not all bad.
Are you kidding me?
This is amazing.
It's almost like you planned it.
- How do you figure?
Think about it.
The only person that
could sink this ship
here isn't even on the boat.
I love it.
Well, we're going
to be back on the boat,
and then I'm going
to strategize...
Strategy has changed, my friend.
Your new goal is to stall
her as long as you can.
But she just
wants to do her job.
And so do you, right?
Yes.
So your job is to keep
her off the boat.
At least until Dubrovnik...
that's when I really need you.
We don't have to hide anything.
We're not hiding anything.
She's probably going to give
a positive review anyway.
But good or bad doesn't hurt any
of us if she's just a little,
uh, delayed.
OK, so... so what are
you suggesting that I do?
You said your back
was hurt, right?
Just milk that a little bit.
- You know what?
I feel like I got to get
back, and I'm going to help
you settle the investors down.
You said they were
getting restless, right?
Emily has been a big help.
I'll just lean on her
until you get back.
You know, I'm not
so comfortable with you
spending time with my sister.
I mean...
Hey, hey, I gotta bail, my man.
They're about to do
poolside karaoke,
and my jam is about to come up.
OK?
Stick to the new plan.
Adam.
Adam?
Adam!
Adam!
I'm coming!
Oh, hi.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Sorry to bother you, sir.
I just wanted to say how sorry
I was for the misunderstanding
about the rooms.
No, no, no.
It's... it was...
it's totally fine.
And this is from the gift shop.
- You shouldn't have.
- I didn't.
Miss Kelly Coates asked
me to drop it off for her.
Oh, well, thank you.
Arrivederci.
Yeah, arrive... bye.
Morning!
Thought you might
need a wardrobe change
for part two of our journey.
PS, the backpack is no Mary
Poppins bag, but it will do.
Mr. Andrews,
you clean up nice.
Grazie mille.
This is some secret
shopping I can get behind.
So thank you.
You got to tell me
how much they cost,
because I want to pay you back.
- No, no, no, no, no.
Let it be my gift.
I mean, you spoiled me with
the VIP suite after all.
Technically, that
was an expense account.
But I will take the credit.
Ah, grazie.
Mm.
You look really
nice, by the way.
I'm a secret shopper
for work and for fun.
So, are you ready
to start planning?
Because we have
a lot to look at.
Yes, let's.
The storm shut down
all transportation today,
but I figured that we could
look at options for to...
Oh.
Is it still that bad?
Yeah, oh.
It just... it comes in waves.
I got plenty of rest.
I put the ice on it.
I think I need
to go see a doctor.
And we're in Italy, so you
know how that's going to go.
I already got
you an appointment.
Wow.
How did you manage that?
Like you said, it's
Italy, so health care
is a little different here.
So I couldn't get you
a traditional doctor,
but I did get you
an alternative healer.
Alternative?
Yeah, I'm not
so sure about that.
I figured you'd say that,
but that's the only person I
could get on such short notice.
And I don't want
to rush this... however,
we are both under the g*n,
and we need to be on the road
as soon as the weather clears.
OK?
So why don't we give it a shot?
I gotta lay down for a minute.
Right here in the...
OK, in the restaurant.
So do you want
to look at my back?
Yeah, I can go in the...
That won't be necessary.
You don't need
to see what's wrong?
No, I can feel it.
Ah.
All the physical pain
we experience in life
comes from buried feelings.
And you have a lot to uncover,
don't you, Mr. Parker?
Uh, what I do do is love
to take about 800 milligrams
of ibuprofen.
So do you have a prescription
pad lying around, or?
I could give you
some willow bark tea
and send you on your way.
OK.
But that would
be the simple solution.
Of course it would.
Treating the symptoms may
give you temporary relief.
It won't cure
the deeper problems.
You know what, I don't
think this is a good fit.
So...
You know what, I
think we should listen
to what Dr. Valcano has to say.
You may think
my methods are new age,
but in fact they are age old.
Da Vinci himself was trained
in my line of treatment.
It's what made him
a master of observation.
OK, I'll bite.
What is my pain telling you?
The back is the support
of our entire body.
If we have pain, it comes from
feeling unsupported in life.
The lower back in particular
tells me two things.
The first is you
have a deep worry
of losing financial support.
Did you tell her
about the merger?
I said nothing.
I swear.
She didn't need to.
The pain told me.
OK, OK.
You're one for one.
What else is my pain
saying to you?
The other thing it could
suggest deals with love.
Are you OK discussing it
with your lover in the room?
She's not.
We're friends.
Yeah.
Yes, your friend.
The pain tells me that
you were in a relationship
which hurt you very badly.
The only way to truly heal
it is to stop running away.
You know what, I'd rather just
get that willow bark tea to go,
and I think we'll be on our way.
I only serve it after
a shiatsu massage.
50 euros cash.
No refund.
We have a deal?
I got a feeling I
don't have a choice.
You know, it's too bad we
can't just get on that boat.
You know, I checked,
and it's going to Istanbul.
Formerly known
as Constantinople.
You know what?
That's nobody's
business but the Turks.
It is so gorgeous here.
It looks like we're enjoying
the calm after the storm.
Salute!
Salute!
Only one glass.
I booked us on a 9:00
AM flight to Corfu.
There's only one departure
a day, and we cannot miss it.
Are you sure you don't want
to stick around Syracuse.
It's beautiful when
it's not raining.
Sure, I'd love to stick around.
We both kind of need to get
back on that boat, though.
I mean, to be honest, I'm
just soaking in the moment.
Can I be really honest?
Sure.
And not a little vulnerable.
Oh.
I have had a really great
time getting to know you.
And I know that when we get
back on that boat, we're going
back into work, and it's...
but here, it's just you and me.
Huh.
Well, if I didn't
know any better,
I'd think you were trying
to keep me off that ship.
Hey, can you blame
a guy for trying?
I'm not too injured
to get back on the boat.
So much for that doctor that
you highly recommended and
her failed Mr. Miyagi massage.
I promise you, she came
very highly recommended.
I will say this,
there was some truth
to her words of wisdom.
- Really?
Like what?
Not if it's a one
glass only night.
This is a share-the-whole-bottle
story at minimum.
Order me some pasta
and I could be convinced.
You got a deal.
You were saying?
Oh... now?
Just that Dr. Valcano, you
know, there was some truth
to what she said about love.
I was married
for almost 10 years.
Amazing woman.
She was... she was
the love of my life.
Or so I thought.
Five years ago,
we were this close
to our 10-year anniversary.
And so I planned this
really big trip to Italy.
Here, in fact.
We were going to stay here.
Adam had just bought
this property,
and he was raving about it.
So I booked 10 nights
and two first-class tickets.
And in the taxi,
on the way to the airport,
she had this breakdown
out of nowhere
and said she didn't
want to go with me.
What happened?
It's just an age-old story.
She loved me, but she wasn't
in love with me anymore.
Was there someone else?
I mean, she said no, but she
started seeing someone pretty
quickly after the separation.
So I have my doubts.
Parker, I'm so sorry.
It's OK.
It happens.
And I have to take some
of the responsibility.
I mean, I was
obsessed with work.
I was doing it for us.
You know, I thought I was
building towards our future.
But I realize now that
I was just chipping
away at our foundation.
That is a hard
realization to make.
And now I'm wondering
if Dr. Valcano wasn't right
about the other thing, too.
What, that you're running away?
Yeah.
And I'm not afraid
of commitment.
Like, I really want
a relationship.
I just... I'm afraid
of more pain.
And with that, I'm
going to top myself off.
You came back here, didn't you?
What do you mean?
I mean, you had a whole trip
planned to celebrate here.
It must have taken a lot of guts
to walk through those doors
yesterday and check in.
You're right, I guess.
I guess I have healed
more than I thought.
You can't see
if the wound has healed
until the bandage comes off.
You know what?
My back is actually healed.
Yeah, that's probably the wine.
Yeah, you're probably right.
All right, your turn.
What was your biggest
heartbreak?
As sad as it is,
I don't have one.
I don't believe that.
How is that possible?
I mean, I've had relationships.
I just end them before
it gets too serious.
I've seen so much
heartbreak... my parents
and then a few of my friends.
I don't know if I want
to risk it, calculated or not.
Guess we're both
afraid of the pain.
We have that in common.
To us.
Lucky us.
Yeah.
- I overslept.
- I know.
So did I!
The airport, it's an hour away!
We're never going to make it!
Well, we have to try.
I'll meet you
in the lobby in two minutes.
Can you make it one?
Make it one.
OK, OK.
Parker!
Parker!
All right.
We got this.
- I don't think so.
- Yep.
- It's a long drive.
- You did real good.
That was one minute.
Yeah, we got this.
Gotta calla cab.
Hey!
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Buongiorno.
Buongiorno.
Francesca, can you order
us a taxi to Catania airport?
Right away, sir.
Si pronto.
Do you think we have a chance?
Well, the airport's
30 minutes away.
It's all going
to depend on security.
But if we can catch a cab...
Yeah!
I think we have a chance!
Wait, wait.
OK.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
My passport!
- What, seriously?
- I think I left it in the room.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
We have to get
in this cab right now
or we're going
to miss this flight.
They're not going to let
me on the plane without it.
Parker, I need to get back!
Hey, you gotta go.
All right?
I'll find my own way.
I will meet you in Bari.
What?
Go.
Go.
Listen, I put it
right in the drawer,
right on top of the Gideon's
Bible, so I wouldn't forget it.
And I told myself, put it
here so you don't forget it.
And...
You know, for someone
as smart as you are,
you certainly are forgetful.
It's the struggles
of a beautiful mind, sis.
Struggles of a beautiful mind.
Well, I hope you're
having fun at least.
You and Kelly
getting close at all?
No!
No.
She's on her way
back to the cruise,
and I'm stranded
here in Syracuse,
and Adam is going
to be doubly mad at me.
- Wait, why double?
- Like you don't know.
I heard you guys are
real buddy, buddy.
You should be
thanking me, actually.
Because I'm doing this for you
and your precious deal, OK?
Really?
You're not doing
it because you want
to hang out with a billionaire
bachelor on the high seas?
That is not why,
and you know it.
But you know, actually,
we're kind of having
fun getting to know each other.
Just be careful, he tends
to prioritize business
over his relationships.
What do you mean?
He asked me
to purposefully contain
Kelly from getting
back onto the ship
so that she couldn't do her job.
OK, that is not OK.
Oh, is this why you forgot
your password in your room?
No!
No!
That was an honest
mistake, I swear,
and I would never
do that to her.
Absolutely not.
And this is why Adam's
going to be extra mad at you?
Yes, because I'm still here,
and she is about to be there.
You know what?
Why don't you just
let me deal with Adam.
What are you talking about?
What are you going to do?
He has to know this isn't right.
Don't say anything to Adam!
You're not employed by him.
Ipso facto, he can't fire you.
Yeah, exactly.
Hey, listen, I got to go,
because I got a dance class
I signed up for with Adam.
I'll let you know how it goes.
- Emily!
Emily!
Emily!
Golly.
I'm going to get fired.
I'm getting get fired.
Careful, you don't want
to throw out your back again.
OK, hold on a second.
What are you doing here?
Did you miss your plane?
- I did not.
I made it with two
minutes to spare.
Even had time for the espresso
vending machine.
Well, I don't understand.
Why are you here?
I made it to the flight, Parker.
I chose to not get on it.
OK?
I mean, I figure we got
into this pickle together.
It's only fair that we
get out of it together.
Yeah, but what about your job?
Well, I am trying
to follow my own advice.
If he's going to fire me
for making an honest mistake,
I'm not meant to be there.
OK.
I mean, that is a very
healthy attitude.
It's bold, but it's
very healthy.
Yeah, I realized I have
the same tendency as you.
I put work before
everything else, including
what's right in front of me.
Let's get back
on that boat together.
Oh, golly.
You know, if my head
wasn't screwed to my neck...
Are you sure this
is the best solution?
Because we missed
our flight, I believe
it is our only solution.
How do you figure?
The trains are still on strike,
and there is not a single rental
car available in all of Sicily.
We get to the mainland, right?
We get a cab, and we
hire somebody to drive
us the rest of the way.
You're so cute.
They're too busy
because of the strike,
and there is a bunch
of union rules,
a bunch of driving regulations.
It's a mess.
Because we're in
Godfather country.
OK, you can't reference
a movie you haven't seen.
Noted.
Got it.
All right, back to your plan.
Yes, I called Valentina to help.
Who is Valentina?
She's the woman that helped me
translate at the train station.
She gave me her card.
Parker, you gotta keep up, OK?
Right.
Her cousin owns a fishing boat.
OK.
Didn't we learn our lesson
about excursions in Palermo?
OK, stop.
I am going to ban sarcasm
until further notice.
Duly noted.
This plan of yours,
I am so confused.
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
Come here.
We're here, right?
And the boat is docked all
the way up here in Bari.
And it leaves
at 8:30 PM sharp.
It goes all the way
to Dubrovnik.
That is right.
Now, Valentina's
cousin really likes
to fish in the Gulf of Taranto.
Apparently the branzino
really bite after a big storm.
- Well, that's a fun fact.
- Isn't it?
Yeah.
So if we can just find
him in all this chaos,
we can catch a ride
to the Port of Taranto.
And then from there, we find her
other cousin who has arranged
for transportation to Bari.
This woman is amazing and
apparently related to everyone.
That's right.
And if all goes
according to plan,
we will be back
on the boat by nightfall.
Which gives me enough
time to prep with Adam
for the merger meeting.
And if I work through the night,
I can still deliver my report
to my boss in the morning.
And for the record, I am
totally on board with that.
- Good.
- OK.
So how do we find
cousin number one?
I don't know.
But she said his name is Andrea,
he works on the main dock,
and his boat is blue or red.
- Can we use sarcasm yet?
- No time.
We gotta find him.
- Call him.
Oh, she said he's old school.
He doesn't have a phone.
Why doesn't he
have a cell phone?
I never really needed one.
I like to be present with
the people in my presence.
I'm so glad you found us.
Your cousin, Valentina,
said that you could help
us get to the Port of Taranto.
Valentina told you this?
Yes.
Valentina is right.
I may be able to help you.
But only if this strapping
young man will help me.
He will do whatever you say.
Come on, you're
mopping like a child.
Mop like a man!
Did he just say...
Come on, I want to see
your American teeth
sparkling in that window.
Oh, missed a spot.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, here, I can help with this.
No, sorry, I'm
very superstitious.
It's very bad luck for a woman
to touch the fishing tackle.
Oh.
Good luck for you,
because it's heavy.
With your back.
OK.
Oh, careful.
Bravo.
OK, do little circles.
Si.
I said little circles!
Are you listening to me?
I'm trying to do little circles.
Yes, you're not
trying hard enough.
I got this.
Let me do it.
Woo!
Bari, here I come.
Here we come!
Hey grab a hold of that
little thing there.
2, 3.
1, 2, 3.
You're pretty quiet there.
Are you focusing
on your dance moves,
or is there something
on your mind?
A little of both.
Spill it.
I don't think
that's something you'd
want your investors to hear.
OK.
Very good.
Keep the feet up.
Nice.
Looking good.
I don't like the sound of that.
What's going on?
I don't know.
I mean, maybe something
to do with the fact
you asked my brother
to stop Kelly
from getting back on the boat.
1, 2, 3.
1, 2...
Hey, she represents
the competition.
This is business.
It's not personal.
No, things like this happen.
She shouldn't be
punished for them.
I'm not punishing anyone.
OK?
I just find the situation
serendipitous.
Yeah.
I think the word you're
looking for is surreptitious.
OK, that's a little unfair.
Wouldn't you rather win
this deal fair and square?
Let's keep it down, shall we?
Why?
I don't have anything to hide.
Do you?
1, 2, 3.
Look, I wanted
to help out because I
feel bad for my brother
and because you
seem like a really good guy.
Unless you change the way
you're handling the situation,
you're going to find
yourself alone in this.
And I don't just mean me.
I mean Parker too.
Do not take his
goodness for granted.
Please.
Nice.
I think I'm feeling
a little seasick,
so I'm going to go lie down.
Hey, how's your back?
Never been better.
Ah, I guess Dr. Valcano
was right after all.
She was.
I'm really glad I let
her take a quack at me.
Oh, dad, jokes are back.
I guess you're
feeling calm again?
Somehow that is exactly
how you make me feel.
Now, can you cure
my seasickness?
I wish I had some Dramamine
for this drama king out here.
Touche.
I can't even be mad
at you for that one.
Hey, Belladonna?
Si.
Your turn to drive.
Oh, is that not bad luck?
Quite the opposite, actually.
You're going to drive?
OK.
So put your hands on the wheel.
Yes.
Yeah.
Just like driving a car.
I'm not feeling so calm now.
Hey
Stop.
Stop the boat!
k*ll the engine!
Hey, what's wrong.
Is everything OK?
I almost forgot
the most important thing.
The money.
Oh, yes.
Absolutely.
Whatever it costs,
we're happy to pay it.
Shouldn't we be paying you?
Throw them in the water.
This is a two-euro coin.
Shouldn't we be using, like,
maybe a two-cent coin instead?
If you're generous
to the sea, she
will be generous back to you.
Toss them over your shoulder.
3, 2, 1.
Belle.
Today's going to be a lucky one.
Right.
So what does
the cousin look like?
I don't know.
She didn't say.
She just said that there was
going to be transportation
waiting on the dock.
- What's his name?
Mario.
Well, that really
narrows it down.
Sorry, embargo on the sarcasm.
What about his phone number?
You got that on your phone?
Yeah.
My phone is almost dead.
Oh, no, scratch that.
It is dead.
It's fine, it's fine.
She said he would be here.
OK.
Hey.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Vroom.
Hah!
Miss Kelly, I apologize that
I could not escort you myself,
but Limoncello will
get you there safely.
Leave her at the dock in Bari
to the woman at the gelato cart.
Buon viaggio, Mario.
This is not good.
This is not good.
- Why?
Do I look dumb?
I am terrified of motorcycles.
Good thing this is
just a glorified scooter.
Parker, you don't understand.
I'm terrified of anything
that only has two wheels.
OK, my childhood bike still
has the training wheels on it.
Hey, Kelly, I was
born to ride this thing.
All you got to do
is hold on tight.
You might look dumb.
I look dumber.
Try not to eat any
junebugs on the way.
There's a world that
I want to show you
So take my hand
Let's find something new
Both feet on the ground
Going to hit it running
Looking everywhere
to get what you want
Going to treat you right so...
Should we check out
Boardwalk or Park Place?
OK, buddy.
You know what?
Just keep driving or I'm going
to send you straight to jail.
You got it.
We made it!
With seven minutes to spare.
Oh!
Well, that is cause
for celebration.
Si, senor.
Hello.
Hello.
So Mario said you would know
what to do with Limoncello.
Yeah?
Si?
And I would love some gelato.
Can I have some
pistachio, please?
And the lady would like?
Oh, stracciatella.
Stracciatella, of course.
We did it.
Yeah.
You know what?
Now that we're here,
I feel a little sad.
Why?
Well, we had
quite the adventure.
Well, just because we're
getting back on the boat
doesn't mean
the adventure has to stop.
I like the sound of that.
Grazie mille.
All right, salute.
Salute.
And that sound means we
got to get back on the boat.
Get on the boat!
Get on the boat!
Yeah!
Ah, we made it!
Hey!
All right, I am going to go.
I have to go get cleaned up.
But I'm going to go
find Emily and Adam.
Yes.
Me, too.
Well, no, just
the cleaning up part.
I gotta plug my phone
in and get to work, you know?
OK.
Um, so you know what I
think I'm going to do?
I think at midnight,
I'm going to go down
to that 24-hour pizza oven...
if you want to join me.
I'm still going to be up, so...
You might as well
swing by for research.
Research, right.
And then, let's...
I'm going to...
- Get out of here.
- I'll see you there.
See you there.
All right, bye.
I'll see you there.
Bye.
See you later.
Bye
Oh, Kelly.
Hi.
I'm so glad you guys are back.
Yeah.
In fact, I heard you
were quite the hero
and saved the day.
No, no, no.
It was a team effort.
Yeah.
Well, I appreciate it.
And, um, I owe you an apology.
You do?
Yeah, I realize I shouldn't have
asked Parker
to purposely stall you
from getting back on the boat.
It was wrong.
It was, uh, selfish
and opportunistic,
and frankly unnecessary.
I shouldn't have put you or him
in that position, and I...
I'm sorry.
Well, I am so glad you told me.
Oh, me too.
Big load off my chest.
Yeah.
You know, it was Emily.
Emily actually is the one
that stood up to me and said...
Adam, you know what?
I gotta go.
OK?
But I'm... I'm sorry.
Good luck
on your meeting tomorrow.
OK, see you soon.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
George, hi.
I'm so sorry I've
been out of pocket.
I can explain
everything, and I promise
you I will have
everything uploaded
to the platform by 6:00 AM.
Save it, Kelly.
There's nothing more to explain.
They threatened
to cancel our contract,
so I brought in somebody else.
You're kidding me, right?
I wish I was.
They boarded the ship
in Corfu, and their work
has been really solid.
I'm going to have to let you go.
Sorry, this came from the top.
George.
I'm sorry, I'm confused.
Do you mean let me go from
this assignment or from my job?
I'm sorry, Kelly, but it's both.
Gotta go.
When can we talk?
Taking
a break from work already?
Slacker.
- I
- just got fired, Parker.
They brought on somebody else.
I am so sorry.
Meet me at the lido lounge.
Thank you.
Hey, Kelly.
I'm sorry.
What happened?
Don't do that.
You know exactly what happened.
Seriously, I'm in the dark.
You know what you're
doing right now,
Parker, is not sarcasm.
It's just straight
up dishonesty.
OK, I know you're upset
because you lost your job.
I'm upset because you
knew I was on a deadline
and you deliberately stalled me.
OK...
Adam told me.
Of course he did.
Your back.
Was that an act
or was that real?
No, that was... that was real.
Honest.
Promise.
- And the passport?
The forgotten passport?
That was very convenient.
Honest mistake.
Why would I put you in a cab
to get you back on the boat
if I was trying
to deliberately delay you?
I don't know!
I don't know what
to think, Parker.
I just know that I keep...
I keep replaying that
dinner that we had together
in Syracuse, you asking me to
stay because you're having such
a good time getting to know me.
And I... I just...
I feel so stupid.
Every word of that was true.
Yes, Adam asked me to delay you.
I didn't listen to him.
You could ask my sister.
I told her about it immediately.
Maybe you should have told me.
You're right.
Good luck
on your meeting tomorrow.
I hope it was worth it.
Kelly.
Oh, that is such a cute dress.
Permission to come aboard?
What's the password?
I don't know.
I think it's something like
I was wrong for being so
shortsighted about
the Kelly situation,
and I'm glad you had the guts to
tell me and put me in my place.
Did you make it right?
Well, I told her
the truth and apologized.
I haven't seen Parker yet.
But when I do, I plan
on doing the same.
Password accepted.
Sweet.
You should have a chance
to see Parker soon, because I
told him to meet me here.
Well, I can't wait
to hear the adventures.
Yeah.
You know, I am
so impressed with how you're
able to be so honest with me.
I'm realizing there aren't
a lot of people in my life
that are willing to do that.
Maybe you should
rethink who's your life.
There it is again.
It's... you are just brutally
honest, and I love it.
Hey, what did you say to her?
I was just telling Emily that
I apologized for my little plan
to have you delay her
from getting on the boat.
All right.
And did you fail
to mention to her that I
didn't follow through with it?
I didn't know
what was happening.
Both of your phones died, so I
was kind of left in the dark.
Whatever you said to her
got her very upset with me.
More importantly, she
got fired for this.
- No.
- Yeah.
I am sorry.
I truly am.
I let opportunity get
in the way of honor,
and I regret even mentioning it.
Forgive me?
Of course.
All right.
So what do we do now?
I don't know, Parker.
You're the head
of operations and strategy.
You tell me.
Ah, thank you, sir.
Looks amazing.
Thank you.
Care to share a slice?
Hey.
I didn't think I was
going to see you again.
Well, you promised pizza.
I did.
Yeah, it's not... it's
not a Margherita pizza.
I'm more of a dirty
martini girl anyway.
Was that a pun-based
peace offering?
It was.
Except you should have
said pizza offering.
Talk about missing the boat.
You know that I was
telling the truth, right?
I would never have purposely
kept you from getting back.
Yeah, I know.
I thought back to that
moment in the cab.
I realized I saw
the truth in your eyes.
Plus, you were such
a baby about your back.
There was no way you
were faking that.
Right?
I know.
It just further proves my case.
I'm sorry you lost your job.
It's OK.
No, really.
It's fine.
I'm the one who chose
to not get on that plane.
And I don't regret it.
You know, If they're
going to fire
you for making
an honest mistake,
you weren't meant to be there.
Those are wise words.
Who said that?
Pretty sure it was me.
Plus, you know, I think
it's going to motivate
me to go out on my own.
I think I'd make a pretty
decent independent consultant.
I'm pretty sure you would.
Actually, I have some
notes on your presentation
if you want me to help
you close the deal.
Say no more.
Here.
Where do you want to start?
Spreadsheets or projections?
Pizza.
I can't believe that you
rented a medieval museum
for this meeting.
Well, I know how to set a vibe.
So let's just deliver now, huh?
Well, you ready, secret weapon?
On your order, my liege.
Limoncello on three.
1, 2, 3.
Limoncello!
- They don't...
- It's an off-the-boat thing.
You wouldn't understand.
OK.
All right.
Ladies and gentlemen, how about
we get this party started?
Grab some pastries.
Frank the Tank, I want you
to try those croissants.
They're magnificent.
One last thing that I want
to talk to you about, though.
I feel like in today's
day and age,
the hardest thing is finding
that work-life balance.
We are in a culture that
is obsessed with success.
We forget to take time with
the people that we love.
Now, if you add Crandall Cruises
to your portfolio, what you will
be offering millions
of people all around
the world is the chance
to rediscover that balance.
Now, there's only
one person who can
say it more
beautifully than I, and
that's this person right here.
Kelly, please.
The floor is yours.
Thank you.
Hi, everybody.
I'm Kelly Coates.
I was the woman who was hired to
do due diligence for your team
and then was subsequently
fired for missing the boat.
I get that.
But I want to tell
you that in the time
I tried to find everything that
was wrong about this company,
I actually found everything
that was right about it.
I spent the better
part of the week
with the top management
at Crandall Cruises,
and I can tell you that this
team is full of integrity
and full of honor.
Now, they're not perfect.
All right, they make mistakes.
But when they do, they
acknowledge those mistakes,
and they do their best to make
it right for the customer.
So if I was looking
to acquire a company
with that type of culture,
that type of tradition,
I would gladly step aboard.
Thank you for your time.
That was awesome.
Thank you, Kelly.
Guys, this is your time
for questions.
If there are no questions,
it is time to bring
out the old quill and ink.
You could sign.
I object.
I object.
You can't object.
This isn't a courtroom.
Well, then I rescind
my offer to sell.
Are you serious?
Yeah, just... just trust me.
I hope you have all
enjoyed your week
here on the Mediterranean
courtesy
of this fabulous cruise line.
But after careful
consideration, I've
changed my mind about the
direction we're sailing here.
You know, being
on the water this past week
has reminded me why I
got into this business
in the first place, and that's
to bring people together.
Greg and Judy know
what I'm talking about.
Anyway.
So my partner and I, we are
open to investment to expand
our empire on the open sea.
But we will be retaining
our controlling
ownership in Crandall Cruises.
No further questions,
Your Honor.
Again, this isn't a courtroom.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
So you left a lot of money
on the table back there.
Are you having any
seller's remorse?
Honestly, no.
I meant everything
I said in there.
Plus, I'm far too
young to retire anyway.
I'm just glad you realize
how good a team you have.
Parker is the best
there is, of course.
And I think hiring Kelly
is going to really increase
your consumer experience.
Yeah.
Now all I need to do is
just hire a new partner
for business relations.
I mean, I know someone
looking for a job.
You have yourself a deal.
Oops.
Uh, forgot to let go.
Oopsies.
I'll send a memo to HR
when we get back.
You better.
I am officially blown away.
I mean, I've never seen Adam beg
anybody that hard to work for.
I mean, you really
impressed him.
Well, you're
glowing. recommendation
didn't hurt either.
So is it a little awkward
that I'm your boss now?
Technically, I'm
just a consultant.
So you're not my boss at all.
It's true.
It's true.
Is it awkward that you have
a crush on your consultant?
Technically, it's
way more than a crush.
So you really can't
call it that at all.
What would you call it?
A calculated risk.
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Missing the Boat (2026)
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