01x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

Two legends of entertainment,

Escorpión Dorado and Facundo,

have a rivalry

that's dragged on for years,

but that rivalry ends today.

These two titans have been summoned

to face ten extreme challenges

10 EXTREME

CHALLENGES

to prove, once and for all,

who's the GOAT.

In a nutshell, the coolest.

THE

COOLES

What if I refuse?

The challenges will take place

all around Mexico

and were created

by iconic people from their past

who are out for revenge.

Like Roberto Palazuelos,

who's here to get revenge

for the humiliation

these two guys put him through.

I'll get revenge on both of them.

-No, dude, I swear I can't.

-Come on, I'll help.

Each time they win, they'll get money

that will be donated to a charity.

But, if they lose,

they'll get a terrible

and humiliating punishment.

PUNISHMEN

Franco Escamilla, I hate you!

Is the world ready

for the biggest competition in history?

This is Prank or Tank.

PRANK OR TANK

To kick off this epic battle,

our gladiators meet face to face

and decide once and for all

who's a real god and who's a mere mortal.

It'll be Changoleón.

So Changoleón's my worst enemy?

-Oh, come on

-What's up, f*cking son of Changoleón?

How are you?

You're my worst enemy?

-I had no idea

-What do you mean?

They told me I'd face my worst enemy.

-I didn't know it'd be my son.

-So you're my?

-Yeah, man!

-I was looking for a d*uche,

but not the biggest douchebag of them all.

Am I really against you?

I'm not okay with this.

All this show for this?

All for this?

Get me a different dude.

Someone that can still bend his knees

and has a little hair.

So, what's all this about?

-Who came up with this?

-500 production guys.

While they figure this out, let's recap.

Ten challenges, five punishments,

and a lot of money

that won't go to them.

Hi! How are you, gentlemen?

-Who the hell are you?

-I'm Manuel.

How are you? I'm your intern.

-Hi, Intern.

-I'm here to help

with anything you need for

-this adventure.

-I don't need

Name: Intern. Age: Could be Facundo's son.

I do a lot of stuff in this production.

For example, assisting, agreeing,

pulling on some wires

You could say I'm like mold,

I'm everywhere.

I also can smell a bit moldy.

THE INTERN

I need help. Can you switch this idiot

-for someone cool?

-No.

No, but could you help me

by signing this pretty paper?

It's a contract, yeah.

It basically says you'll finish

each and every challenge

in this competition,

especially the final punishment.

By signing, you pledge

to take your punishment.

It'll be an unbelievable punishment.

A very dangerous punishment.

Look, do you promise

I can f*ck with him if I beat him?

-Of course. Sign.

-Right away.

Sign it while I get something else.

-You're in a hurry.

-There!

-Mr. Douchebag. Great.

-There it is.

-Ready?

-Learn to spell, man.

-No way!

-Lots of surprises.

First, I want you to hear

this audio message.

-Play it.

-Sure, let's listen.

Lubricate your knees.

A competition among you two? Oh, please.

If we really want to know

who's the real GOAT,

it won't be easy.

Name: Roberto Palazuelos,

AKA: El Diamante n*gro.

Challenges: Heights.

Reason for revenge: Public embarrassment.

Facundo put him in a bumblebee suit

and Escorpión mocked him

in front of his followers.

Grudge level: Nine.

I'm Roberto Palazuelos. I'm an actor,

entrepreneur, and lawyer.

I'll get revenge on both of them.

Because they both

ridiculed me in the past.

And now I'll get my revenge.

I have two challenges for you

that will decide

who handles heights the best.

I'll send you the location

of the first challenge

and a clue to get you warmed up.

By the way, the loser's punishment

will be really, really good.

So, you ready for Prank or Tank?

-I'm game. For sure I'm game.

-Yeah.

-I also have this little chest.

-What's it for?

You also gonna steal it?

What's that, dude?

If you're also wondering

about the chest, let me explain.

First, the intern will show them a clue

for what to expect in the challenge.

You can swing on it, you f*cking climber.

-No.

-Don't you love

swinging from vines?

-What's this mean?

-No idea.

Why'd you give it to us?

'Cause they told me to.

I'll see you at the location

Mr. Palazuelos sent you.

-Make the intern carry it.

-See you.

-Make him useful.

-The contract.

-The contract.

-Yes.

-Here.

-Yeah.

-You can keep that.

-Cool.

-Thanks.

-Thanks, man.

-Thanks.

-Now f*ck off.

Will there be antidoping tests

for these challenges?

-You wouldn't pass it.

-That worries me.

-Got a car?

-No.

-Don't f*ck with me!

-What?

-What the hell?

-I'm eco-friendly.

-I rode my bike.

-You got robbed.

But you wanted kids?

-You insisted.

-Yeah.

Forget the kids, ex-wife, you b*stard!

I'll let you get in my car,

but don't talk to me.

-Okay?

-Okay.

m*therf*cker, man!

Of all the f*cking people in the world

and I'm stuck with this guy

that can't even be considered human.

You'll finally measure up

against someone on your level

-and it'll be for real.

-No way!

Get this as*h*le away from me!

Get me someone worth my time!

-Someone famous, at least.

-Look.

-Damn it!

-I'm a classic, man.

I'm a World Heritage asset.

El Diamante n*gro sent

the coordinates for the first challenge.

After driving for a bit,

they reach the place

where they'll take the phrase,

"jumping through hoops"

to a whole new level.

-I think it's here.

-Let's see.

No f*cking way. A circus, man?

That's why they got a dwarf! Come on, man.

-Is it here?

-There's the dude.

Palazuelos.

A master of heights

who doesn't forgive or forget.

What has he prepared for his revenge?

What's up, Pala?

Come in, it's here.

I'm really glad you're both game.

-For sure!

-I'm so glad.

Maybe this dude will bail out

on your challenge.

I'll give you your first two challenges.

The challenges are related to

something you don't have.

-What?

-That is

height, baby!

-Height!

-What? I mean

-There's no way.

-He's got heels.

Remember, the loser

will be punished.

I'm worried

'cause he gets high real quick.

He acts like a diva

when he gets a million views.

I'm worried about your outfits.

-Why?

-Go change.

You can't wear that.

-Should we dress up like you?

-Yeah, it's kinda tacky.

For the first challenge,

they'll face their worst fears,

heights and looking like idiots

in front of El Diamante n*gro.

ba*ls in the Air!

ba*ls

IN THE AIR

Now you'll get it, dude.

-Thanks.

-I'm a pro, man.

We've done extreme things

to Roberto Palazuelos,

particularly ridiculous things.

I think his rage stems from that

and that's why he wants us to do this.

I'm up for it

so I can humiliate that dude,

but getting punished? f*ck no!

It's time to get serious

for the first challenge.

At a height of eight meters,

you'll hold a ball between your legs

-Yeah

-And you'll toss it

into the basket.

-Okay.

-Okay?

So, who'll go first?

-This guy.

-No, he'll go first.

-The diva should start.

-No, you.

-Senior citizens first.

-Look.

Listen, listen.

I'm always prepared,

so I brought in an expert,

Dr. Volados!

Who's Dr. Volados?

This is Dr. Volados.

He has a master's degree

in flipping coins

and a PhD in super-flipping them.

God damn it, no.

Name: Dr. Volados.

Strength: Thumb master.

Batteries not included.

I'll lend you Dr. Volados during the show

so you stop arguing about

who goes first in each challenge.

-Dr. Volados.

-You'll pay his travel allowance, right?

Is that who starts?

Escorpión goes first! Yeah!

-No, I didn't choose.

-Escorpión starts!

You go first.

-I'll go.

-It's like FIFA.

Who should start, Dr. Volados?

-Okay.

-Perfect.

Come on!

-Oh, man.

-Set an example, Escorpi!

-Okay

-Thank you, Dr. Volados. Great.

I want to see you flying high!

-No way. I'll show you.

-We'll see.

Escorpión, here's

where your downfall begins.

Now people will start to realize

that you're not the "god" you say you are.

Yeah right! I'm gonna beat

f*cking Facundo's a*s.

I could climb up this.

-Go on.

-Wait.

-I don't think

-Shut up.

I don't think he can get up there.

Sure I can, I'm a f*cking god.

-Need a push?

-Shut up, idiot.

f*cking Escorpión, right?

Don't step on your pants, dude.

If he falls, at least we have insurance.

Only one thing's for sure,

one of these guys

is gonna bust his face.

Let's go! Let's go!

I made it!

f*ck! It's horrible from up here!

Show me your hand.

I'm nervous, dude.

We'll see who's the most badass

when facing their fear of heights.

I'll enjoy watching them tremble.

-No way!

-No, dude!

No f*cking way.

It's tough.

I'm tall and I can't reach it.

How am I supposed to do this?

I can't reach it, man.

f*ck, being up there

It's a tiny piece of plastic.

It's the size of a f*cking cookie.

-I'll hold you.

-f*ck, man.

-I'll grab you.

-Yeah.

-I'll hold you.

-You got me?

-I got you, man.

-Ready, f*cking Escorpión?

-Where're your ba*ls?

-Come on!

FIRST SHO

-Go.

-Ready?

-One.

-One.

Two.

-Three.

-Come on.

Lift your feet!

REPLAY

How's he gonna let go now?

No f*cking way.

I don't want to do it!

No way!

I shat myself!

I'm really nervous.

Check out his swag

getting down from there.

What swag Damn, man!

I should get extra credit

for that f*cking somersault.

Dude!

Your turn, f*cking Facundo!

-f*ck.

-Think twice next time

you dress me up as a bee!

I think the idea's

not to throw the ball

Are you f*cking kidding me? I can't do it.

Hold onto me, man.

-I'll let go, yeah?

-Yeah.

f*cking Facundo scored big

when my f*cking arm wrapped around

his scrawny a*s body.

Escorpión's sweat

wasn't that gross

'cause it was the only way

he could hold on,

his body pressed up against mine.

-One, two, three.

-One, two, three.

REPLAY

Are you f*cking kidding, Facundo?

No f*cking way.

How do you feel, man?

I can't feel my legs, man.

They're cramping up!

-How do you feel?

-Like a badass.

Empowered.

With ba*ls of steel.

Not really.

Hug me, idiot.

-I got it.

-Come on!

SECOND SHO

How big are those ba*ls of steel?

-Ready?

-Ready. One,

two, three. Go.

Lift your feet!

-The god of the Internet!

-ba*ls of steel!

Oh, dude!

-I rock, man! f*ck yeah!

-No way!

Damn it!

This complicates things for me.

f*ck yeah!

-There's the camera.

-Another one.

f*ck yeah!

Kiss my a*s, you b*stard!

Escorpión's all empowered now.

I'm f*cking great.

I even flexed my pecs, look.

Move it, f*cking Facundo.

Escorpión's winning now.

f*ck, this is still really scary.

Let's go, let's go!

One, two

three!

Mess it up!

REPLAY

He's a god too!

Hey, f*cking Facundo. Wait, damn it.

-Dude.

-You really surprised us.

We're tied,

but I'll beat him now, you'll see.

Escorpión's was a two-pointer,

mine went higher,

so it's a three-pointer.

Facundo saw how I did it and copied me

He used to copy me online,

and now he copies me in real life.

THIRD SHO

Well, they weren't

as good as they claimed to be

and nobody scored on their third try.

Now Palazuelos has to choose a tiebreaker.

If Palazuelos thought

he'd make me suffer, okay, he was right.

Your mind starts playing with you.

This sh*t moves around,

you can't reach it.

It was horrible.

We have a tie

and we can't leave it at that.

-Why not?

-Let's go to the next challenge!

-What?

-For the next challenge

TIEBREAKER: WHO LASTS THE LONGES

you'll hang from the bar up there

and we'll see which one of you

can hold on the longest.

-No.

-For real?

-Let's see who's the real badass.

-Sure.

-Gentlemen!

-You can win, if you want.

-Let's just compare our dicks.

-Yeah, okay.

No, you won.

The first challenge ended in a tie,

but we can't leave it at that.

So, who'll hold on the longest?

There are all types of rivals,

and he's no match for me.

When I'm flying high, I'm in my element.

-f*ck it.

-b*stard.

The b*stard can really hold on.

Let me know when the hard part starts.

I can hold on for five hours if you want.

-Or 20.

-No idea how he'll do,

-but I'll last longer.

-I can't take it!

My ba*ls are weighing me down!

Taking it all

He fell?

That was it? He's done?

Damn it, f*cking Escorpión!

I had high hopes for you, Escorpión.

Well, I'm going up.

Basically a walk in the park.

I had a snack before going up there.

We'll see how he holds onto the trapeze

because it's covered in butter.

Take a seat, dude.

A front row seat

to watch my winning performance.

You can't even reach the bar,

you f*cking kid.

I have experience.

Experience? It's a trapeze, not a d*ck.

I can't hold on, dude! It's greasy!

-It's greasy?

-No, dude, I'm

No, wait, dude!

-What's wrong?

-I'm slipping.

-Stop!

-No, this is a f*cking joke!

-A joke?

-No! God damn it!

-No, dude!

-Put some ice on that burn.

We got it?

How long did he last?

Eight seconds? You kidding me?

It was slippery.

-I couldn't hold on.

-Slippery?

-What do you mean?

-It was greasy. I couldn't hold on.

-My hands kept slipping.

-Was it greasy?

Eat some popcorn to get over the fright.

-f*ck, no wonder.

-What, as*h*le?

-That's why it was greasy.

-Eat!

Come on, the whole thing

-was all greasy.

-One for me,

-one for you.

-I got ahold of the bar

and it was covered in butter.

That's why we have that powder,

that magnesium chalk, so we don't slip.

And he's complaining that it's slippery?

This is light popcorn!

Palazuelos, you decide.

The winner of this challenge

is Escorpión Dorado,

who earns 50,000 pesos for his prize pool.

-You won, Escorpión. I admit it.

-f*ck yeah.

Yeah, but at what cost?

-It's not over yet.

-What?

-What?

-Foul?

-No, no.

-Punish him!

You have another challenge.

Where's the intern? Come over here.

-Here's the chest.

-Yeah, baby.

It's just a clue

about what's in store.

Before we open it, let me say this,

revenge is a dish

-best served cold, Facundo.

-I agree.

Let's see.

-Delicious! Watermelon.

-Watermelon?

-I want some.

-We'll see if it's as yummy as you think.

They think it's food.

But when they're up there in the air,

food will be the last thing on their mind.

The next challenge is wonderful.

-I'll see you there.

-Wow.

And you know what? No crying allowed!

Are we gonna crush watermelons?

-I think so.

-We'll buff up.

-I got you beat.

-Maybe it's an eating competition.

-You beat me there.

-Let's go.

I think the watermelon's over there.

With just a watermelon as a clue,

Facundo and Escorpión head

to the next challenge

Palazuelos has in store for them,

where they'll test

their destructive abilities.

It's here. It's here.

-You sure it's here?

-That's what the map says.

It's got to be those cranes.

-Come.

-Is this really

the production level we have?

Yeah, there's a ton of stuff, man.

I don't know what Palazuelos thinks

we're gonna do here.

-He must pay for it.

-No way.

Renting cranes isn't cheap.

We get there, I see cranes, tons of stuff,

and I'm just wondering

how Escorpión will cheat

to beat me this time.

f*ck, wait a sec.

I just got a f*cking audio message.

A d*ck pic from Palazuelos?

-Yeah, it's him.

-Mr. "Dickazuelos."

Look, watermelons.

It has to be related.

We found the watermelons,

but there has to be more.

It's about time, idiots!

For this challenge, a crane

will lift you 20 meters in the air

and you'll throw

watermelons from up there.

CHALLENGE: WATERMELON RAIN

Of course, you have to try to hit

the objects below you.

Whoever hits the most objects wins.

So, good luck.

-What the hell, man?

-Easy. Let's go.

Hey, why's there an Escorpión?

I mean, that's heresy.

I'll destroy all this

and humiliate that c*m-faced asswipe.

Working hard?

We're already here

and you're barely setting it up.

-f*cking production.

-We're gonna toss a watermelon on a car?

Is there anything better

-than smashing a car?

-Right.

Look, that's you, Facundo, the whitey.

-Look.

-I turned out real good.

Son of a b*tch That's hilarious.

Watermelon Rain!

WATERMELON

RAIN

We're risking our lives

for this damn show.

-Yeah!

-I'm king of the world!

At the highest point,

the crane swayed a bit

and it was a bit scary,

but the drive to destroy stuff

from up there was stronger.

b*stard!

Know what? Losers first.

-Okay.

-Do it, let's see.

-Let's see.

-I'll start with this one.

You need help picking it up?

What'll you hit?

Well the table.

-The glass table.

-Not the Escorpión?

-First the table

-Okay.

-It caught my eye.

-Smash it dude.

-Son of a b*tch.

-On my first try.

But look, it's still

It's still standing.

I thought I'd be good

at throwing watermelons.

Now I'm proving it.

-My turn!

-Go.

-The microwave, it's harder to hit.

-Yeah, let's see.

-He got it, dude.

-ba*ls of steel!

It didn't break, but you hit it.

Know what I wanna hit?

-What?

-Your buddy Dharius's magic dust.

Beautiful!

What's better than smashing stuff?

Not even sex.

-Come on.

-The toilet! The toilet!

That's two points.

I'm a f*cking god! Hell yeah!

-And I said it was a two pointer.

-Right!

He said it's worth double.

Plus, it's right there in the bowl, dude.

I'm probably

the only alpha male on the planet

that gets it in the bowl.

I'm aiming

for Escorpión.

-The Escorpión?

-Yeah.

Yeah right, calm down, man.

Hit it.

-No!

-Hey!

Why'd you hit me, as*h*le?

It's a straight road to victory.

That broke your heart, man.

I'll hit the kiddie pool.

The pool

You can still drink that, yeah?

Yeah, it's watermelon juice.

Guess what I'll hit. The TV.

-The TV.

-The TV.

You won't make it, man.

You're not as good as me.

Don't fall, man.

No, you won't hit it.

Almost.

I'll hit Facundo.

-Die, Facundo!

-Let him live.

Just barely!

The car?

-The car.

-Yeah, let's go.

-One, two, three.

-One, two, three.

Hell yeah!

ba*ls of steel!

I got it with f*cking Goyugen,

and a Hadouken and another Hadouken.

And boom!

In conclusion, Facundo sucks a*s.

Escorpión also wins this challenge,

adding 50,000 more pesos

to his prize pool.

He's racked up 100,000 pesos.

-Now it's Facundo's turn!

-No, idiot!

Get up.

-No!

-It won't hurt.

-Lower us!

-It won't hurt.

-No, as*h*le!

-Come on.

-He'll do it!

-Yeah.

No, as*h*le!

Stop it, dude!

-Stop!

-Hell yeah!

-Double points!

-Lower it!

Okay, I agree you won

fair and square this time.

-It was great.

-I can

-God bless everyone!

-Here.

Since he lost, Facundo will have

to go through with the punishment

that El Diamante n*gro planned.

I have to accept my punishment

because this time I deserve it.

We're off on the right foot!

Let's keep it up, hell yeah!

They got some rest, it's a new day,

and it's time

for your punishment, Facundo.

-Palazuelos sent an audio message.

-Let's see.

-I knew you wouldn't bail, Facundo.

-No.

Since I know you love each other

That b*stard will tattoo

whatever he wants on you.

Send me a pic of how it turns out.

-No, dude.

-Yeah.

-The tattoo studio. f*ck yeah.

-This sucks.

Facundo's been humiliated twice

this season,

but he's still got eight more challenges

to prove himself.

Now it's time for a tattoo, baby!

Pants down, please.

This is really tough, man.

I didn't get one for any ex-girlfriends.

But this is the highlight of your career.

It's the highest point

in your miserable life.

If you f*ck up while we're inking you,

it'll be your fault.

"We?" This dude's tattooing me!

No, I'm gonna do it.

You're gonna tattoo me?

Yeah.

-You? No way.

-Yeah, teamwork.

You can't even write.

Damn it, no, dude.

This is a joke, man.

Hold on.

This is sh*t.

A tattoo's forever.

Just 'cause I reach my d*ck

doesn't mean I suck.

-This is f*cked up.

-Sit down. Look.

-That's the tattoo?

-Yeah, look.

There it is.

-Stupid idiot.

-Stop it, dumbass.

Prank or Tank?

You're kidding,

it'll be the worst tattoo ever.

-Don't move or I'll get it wrong.

-Okay, okay.

Damn it, Escorpión! It hurts, as*h*le!

It really hurts, you b*stard!

-as*h*le!

-It's just a little mole, you wimp.

Don't be an idiot.

You tattooed my a*s, dude!

You tattooed my a*s, dude!

PRANK OR TANK

On this season of Prank or Tank

-You ever ridden?

-Yes.

-What's that?

-Pure manure, gentlemen.

-What?

-You're gonna k*ll me, man!

f*ck, it burns.

Are you gonna bail?

Yeah, I don't know why I accepted this.

It hurts to see them suffer.

But let's get to the punishment!

Yeah!

Guys!

It's your f*cking chance.

These dudes always do

stupid sh*t for a living.

I'll teach them how to fly.

It hurts!

No pressure, no pressure.

Victory!

-Don't look.

-He's peeing, right?

It ran over me. It hurts.

-You ruined the damn show.

-No.

Why are you recording me?

-Wait.

-Why?