01x09 - Swarg ka Dwaar

[bunniefuu]

The Sun is in a powerful position

in his charts.

And Saturn is in the eighth house.

And then there's Mercury--

I'm an illiterate farmer.

I can't fathom your

stars and planets.

Get straight to the point.

Is his horoscope alright?

This horoscope is one in a million,

no doubt.

But

But what?

This is not a human horoscope.

It belongs to a demon.

Like Hiranyakashyap.

He was the king of the demons.

Lord Brahma himself had

bestowed him with a blessing

that when you'll die,

it'll neither be day, nor night

neither at the hands of

a friend, nor a foe

and neither by an accident,

nor by a conspiracy.

Lord Vishnu had to take the Narasimha

avatar to k*ll Hiranyakashyap!

Vishnu! Vishnu!

Your son's horoscope is blessed, too

by Lord Brahma himself.

Neither in the day nor night.

No friend or foe.

No one will be able to k*ll him.

Except for one.

Who the f*ck is calling incessantly?

He knows where I am.

I'm with the Delhi Police.

-If something happens to me--

-Firangi!

Do you know these cops have

to account for every b*llet they fire?

Even if they fire one by accident,

they have to file a bloody report!

Imagine!

No such rules for us, b*tch!

So, shut up

and enjoy the music.

What's wrong with the music?

Such beautiful, philosophical lines.

"In every swan, God resides."

Every creature is a manifestation of God.

He is present in all of us.

Got that?

Not in a cop, for sure.

Even in a cop.

Who the f*ck is that?

Turn the car around and come

to the carnival, m*therf*ckers!

Ma'am, check this out. It's great.

Come inside, I said!

Where is your God now?

My God is omnipresent.

Does he reside in this demon?

Yes, Father.

How about this pillar?

Yes, of course.

If you really believe your God is

everywhere, call him!

And ask him to save you.

Vishnu!

Vishnu! Help me, Lord Vishnu!

-Hail Lord Narasimha!

-Hail Lord Narasimha!

-Hail Lord Narasimha!

-Hail Lord Narasimha!

Move it!

More bread?

Tell me something.

If four men dig one hole

in the ground in four hours,

then how many holes will

one man dig in eight hours?

He might as well dig his

mother's p*ssy for all I care.

Water.

Inspector Hathi Ram Chaudhary.

Outer Jamuna Paar station.

Suspended from duty,

but still investigating.

So?

What did you find out?

That Donullia is dead.

And I'm not the only one

who knows this.

Who else does?

The same person who trapped Tyagi.

The one who asked you to send Tyagi

to Delhi to k*ll Sanjeev Mehra.

Bajpayee?

But

Was Donullia unwell?

Bajpayee must've got a whiff of it.

You wanted to get into politics before the

news of Donullia's death became public.

But Bajpayee was against this.

He saw you brothers as his musclemen,

his financial benefactors.

But not as politicians.

He knew his refusal wouldn't

go down well with you.

But after Donullia's death

Bajpayee was ready to take that risk.

But there was still

one man of yours he feared.

Tyagi.

Bajpayee asked you to send

Tyagi to Delhi on an assignment.

He set up a team of four,

so that the whole thing looked legit.

And you fell for it.

You thought this would get you the

party ticket to contest from Chitrakoot.

A team of cops on Bajpayee's payroll

were waiting in Delhi for Tyagi.

The cops followed

the four for three days.

The plan was simple.

The cops were waiting

for Tyagi to k*ll Sanjeev Mehra.

And then they'd have shot him down

in retaliatory firing.

It'd get Tyagi out of Bajpayee's way

and the cops would get their medals.

Everybody wins.

And the political storm over

a journalist's k*lling

that'd be the bonus.

But Tyagi never k*lled Mehra.

He was hell bent on talking to Master ji.

When that didn't happen,

he canceled the hit.

Bhagat and his team chased Tyagi

and caught up with

him on the Yamuna bridge.

But as luck would have it,

there was a media OB van

present there!

Dahiya, it's the media!

DCP Bhagat couldn't sh**t Tyagi

and he had to arrest him.

And since then

I've been getting f*cked,

trying to get to the bottom of the case.

Well, now you know.

What next?

You're a big man, sir.

You know it well.

I can do nothing, even if I wanted to.

Only three people knew

of Donullia's death.

You, your brother and I.

I know you.

You will never even dream of betraying me.

He'll give your g*n

and cell phone back to you.

This is Master ji's amulet.

Give it to Tyagi.

He deserves to know why I couldn't

have him speak to Master ji.

I had a question.

Why didn't Tyagi k*ll Sanjeev Mehra?

What was it that he so desperately

wanted to talk to Master ji about?

Speech! Speech! Speech!

On this?

Hold it.

Alright, alright! You asked for it.

I know the last couple of years

have been tough for all of us.

And the future had looked distant

uncertain for a while.

But this is to tell you

that things are now looking bright.

We have a new management stepping in

which believes in us

and is ready to back us.

They've promised us

a free hand in what we do.

And a pay raise.

That one always works.

Enjoy the day.

And go easy on the champagne.

We still have a day's work to do.

-Hey, Vikram!

-Mr. Editor, congratulations!

Have you thought this through?

Not really.

You think you're making

a statement by doing this.

But trust me,

it makes no difference to anybody.

No one will know.

No one will care.

It makes a difference to me.

Stop! You can't barge in like this.

This is the Delhi Police, f*ck!

What nonsense is this?

I want to talk to you about your case.

Get an appointment.

If I was you, I'd do this right away.

I want to tell you a story.

After their reign on Earth was over,

the Pandavas

were on their way to Heaven

when a dog accompanied them.

It was a tough journey.

One by one, the Pandavas died on the way.

-Finally, it was only Yudhishthira--

-I really don't have time for this.

We've been hearing your

stories for months now.

How about you hear mine today?

So, at the doorway to Heaven

Lord Indra welcomed Yudhishthira in.

But Yudhishthira insisted that

the dog comes with him.

Lord Indra refused.

"A lowly dog in Heaven?

Impossible!"

Yudhishthira said,

"Even my brothers left me halfway.

It was only this dog who kept me company,

right till the end.

And if he's not allowed in,

I refuse your Heavens."

He turned around to leave.

But Lord Indra held him back.

"O Yudhishthira, I was only testing you.

For this dog is Lord Dharma himself.

The Heavens welcome you both."

It's all there in our scriptures,

though I read it on WhatsApp.

What has this bullshit

got to do with my case?

A dog came into your life too,

just like Lord Dharma.

The only difference was

your dog saved you from going to Heaven.

That's Mehra, right?

-Savitri.

-Should we do it now?

Your man Tyagi

he truly believed in

these words of his guru

People who love dogs, are good people.

When a dog loves a man,

he is a good man.

When a man loves a dog,

he is a good man.

When he saw your wife

take care of that dog

for the first time in his life

he doubted the orders to k*ll.

He tried to get in touch with his guru.

He wanted to know if he should

go ahead with the hit.

But he couldn't get through to him.

Tyagi sensed something wasn't right.

He canceled the hit.

Tyagi might be a monster

but there was still some

humanity left in him.

Liked the story?

I've got one more.

A short one this time.

This case had nothing to do with you.

End of story.

Come again?

The target could've been anyone.

It'd have made no difference.

In fact, you were never the target.

It was Tyagi.

You were just a means

to get Tyagi out of Chitrakoot,

and make it easy to k*ll him.

The CBI has investigated this case.

The ISI was behind this.

Everyone knows.

It's strange.

I thought you'd be happy to know

there's no one out there to k*ll you.

But you aren't.

Is it because while Tyagi

and the other three got banished to hell,

you found your doorway

to Heaven in this case?

Voice of India!

You're bullshitting.

You know nothing.

You've been suspended from duty

because of your f*ck ups.

The first time I met you

I thought, he's such a big

man while I'm a nobody.

No matter how badly I got

f*cked over in this case

that's one misunderstanding

that got cleared.

This can't leave the room.

It's not right.

You don't know if this

is really the truth.

You're right, I don't.

But I want you to live with

the knowledge that if I want

I can do to you exactly what

you did to those four guys.

No one's going to believe you.

An affair gone wrong,

that's what they're going to say.

Sara!

-Be gentle.

-Sorry.

You okay?

The truth, the whole truth

and nothing but the truth.

The truth, the whole truth

and nothing but the truth.

The truth, the whole truth

and nothing but the truth.

The truth, the whole truth

and nothing but the truth.

I met with an accident.

Tokas!

Sir.

Tell the registrar

to return his keys and g*n.

Yes, sir.

Got a call from

the headquarters last night.

Your suspension has been revoked.

You know everything, Chaudhary.

Don't act innocent.

Doesn't suit you.

I thought you'd be glad I'm back on duty.

If not as a boss, as a friend

you could've been happy, right?

Get back to work.

Hathi Ram.

Long live, Bajpayee!

Love live, Gwala!

For your contribution towards

getting these two back together

you've got this job back.

Or maybe to ensure I keep my mouth shut.

This system

looks completely rotten

from the outside, Chaudhary.

But once you spend some time in it

you realize it's a well-oiled machinery.

Every part knows its job well.

And the one that doesn't,

simply gets replaced.

But the system never changes.

May I ask you something?

Did you give me this case because you

were confident I was no good to solve it?

You're indeed no good, Chaudhary.

In fact, much worse than I bargained for.

Thank you.

For what?

I don't know.

Just felt like saying it.

Come on, sir! I can't be late

for my final interview.

How did you get injured?

It's nothing compared

to what my father used to do.

And the PCR van?

I didn't steal it.

Get in, fast!

It should pay off sometimes to be a cop.

CBI was asked to take over the case

and give it a spin.

So they thought, why not

spin a t*rror1st conspiracy?

More brownie points for that one.

-But how did the CBI--

-Enough for now.

Focus on your interview.

I never made it to the big league.

I'd be proud if a friend does.

-Today's the first hearing--

-Just focus on your interview, man!

Off you go.

The CBI's charge-sheet

accuses these four of

anti-national and t*rror1st activities.

Today, the CBI shall be

presenting the evidence

to prove that it was these three

behind the Sanjeev Mehra

assassination attempt case.

This is Gehna Seth along with cameraman

Sushil Kumar,

reporting for Rashtriya Dhwani.

How are you?

How about you?

Listen.

I'd kept two and a half

lacs at Kuku's parlor.

The advance for this job.

Collect it from him soon.

Didn't I warn you enough, b*tch?

Not to dream too big.

Are you happy now?

It was a surprise for you.

I was to get a sex

change operation done

right after the job,

just so I could marry you.

Move along.

Case numbers 25275,

20790 and 25402.

Gwala sent this for you.

Said you'd get the message.

Your son's horoscope is blessed, too

by Lord Brahma himself.

Neither in the day nor night.

No friend or foe.

No one will be able to k*ll him.

Except for one.

Sanjeev, we are live.

Sanjeev?

For long, our courts have been blamed

for delaying the course of justice.

For long, our police force has been

blamed for not being up to the task.

But today, the action was swift.

And the justice was instant.

An on-trial t*rror1st, Vishal Tyagi

also known as Hathoda Tyagi,

tried to flee the Patiala House Court,

and when his attempt was thwarted

by alert police officials

Tyagi had no other option but

to sh**t himself dead.

This happened when Tyagi

was due to make his court appearance

in the Sanjeev Mehra

assassination attempt case.

It feels a little odd to refer

to oneself in the third person,

but please bear with me as

I bring to you tonight's big story

The story of the men who

tried to finish Sanjeev Mehra

but couldn't.

Love, love, they all say

Love, love, they all say,

Yet no one knows what love is!

Love knows no swell or ebb

it dwells deep within