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02x04 - Orgy-athon

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "How to Survive Being Single". Aired: 26 June 2020 – 22 March 2023.*
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Sebastián, a Mexican actor, has a seemingly perfect life that is twisted when his girlfriend of more than a decade deceives him.

02x04 - Orgy-athon

Post by bunniefuu »

I want you to know

this is very important for me

because, well, it's

It's my first time.

You know?

I understand.

Just let yourself

feel new sensations.

-I'm nervous, Vadhir.

-It's normal.

We're building a rapport between us.

-Something real.

-It's that

this isn't what I imagined

when you said rapport.

This is the Major League, Sebastián.

How do you think Coppola and Brando

bonded in Apocalypse Now?

-I love Coppola.

-Well, there you go.

If you want to connect

at that creative level,

we have to be

vulnerable together.

I'm ready. I want it.

This is going to be awesome.

Yes, it's

Hello.

This is really dope.

HOW TO SURVIVE BEING SINGLE

A vow of chastity?

Yes.

I was chosen to free the world

from sexual desire.

How does my robe fit in?

It's just that

It's just like in Nightmare on Elm Street,

except I don't see Freddy Krueger,

I see Jimena Sanchez.

She gives me wet dreams every night.

I dream of her constantly,

so I've decided never to sleep again.

And your robe

It's just more comfortable

with all these bandages.

Gross, Fish!

That's ridiculous!

You'll die from sleep deprivation

and now you'll never have kids!

Mafer

If it's the price, I'll pay it.

No, Fish.

I don't understand, you not having sex.

I'll show you a cure, okay?

For relaxing.

It really helped my gluten allergy.

Sit down. Bring your

Sit here.

Jimena Sanchez.

Jimena Sanchez. Jimena Sanchez.

-Jimena Sanchez.

-Okay!

Jimena Sanchez.

-Close your eyes.

-I'm scared.

Close your little eyes.

Let the fruit juice

absorb your anxiety.

When you go on a search,

it is best to have a Linix by your side.

But be careful.

Be careful.

Because communism doesn't deprive anybody

from social product appropriation.

You changed it?

Hyperglobalization!

-Vadhir!

-Religion is the opium of the people.

-Vadhir!

-That's why my father left!

-Vadhir!

-Why do you take her hand??

-Why did you do it, Dad?

-Hey, Vadhir, stop!

-Yes?

-What are you doing?

We didn't mean to interrupt, sorry.

Sometimes Natalia doesn't get the process.

We wanted to check,

if, by any chance

Thinking it over

Why did you change the script?

That.

You see, I felt

that the story needed to be more raw.

So

I added a bit of Marx's Capital,

and I changed my character's past.

He's the son of immigrants.

From space, obviously.

This is better, isn't it?

It has more substance.

Yes, it could be.

I meant to tell you, Sebas,

I looked at what they've done,

and we have to redo

the whole lighting design.

-Okay.

-My character

needs more darkness.

What?

You know how much

redesigning the lighting will cost?

That guy is getting too involved.

You're the director.

I know, but

I'm not that type of director.

who don't listen to his team.

Fine. Listen to your team.

But don't give up your ship, Sebas.

-Yes, you're right.

-Dude.

Yes.

-Yes.

-All right.

I have a surprise for you.

-But I have to go.

-I know. Two minutes.

It's inside.

ALMOST AT THE END

VADHIR DERBEZ - SEBASTIÁN YBARRA

It's our first ticket.

-I wanted you to have it.

-Cool.

-Do you like it?

-Yes.

I have something for you, too.

Well, something to say to you.

It's kind of an invitation.

I'm screening the documentary

I did with my production company

-Really? Great.

-Yes, it's great.

But it's a little awkward

My ex directed it.

Obviously, he's going to be there.

I thought, if you want to if you're free,

-you can come and give me your support.

-Of course!

I'll be there.

That's so cool. Why didn't you tell me

you had other projects?

Not sure. It's strange,

I actually have a life and dreams

other than the play.

I wouldn't miss it.

I meant what I said

about not giving up the ship.

Promise.

"I don't know how to say this, but

"I think I love you."

You won't cook, but you will paint?

What are you doing here?

I'm painting because everything

reminds me of that ingrate, Fish.

I chose an Oxford gray

because Cosmo Magazine

-said it's popular.

-I believe you.

Another hangover, Dani?

You've partied three days in a row.

I'm going out. Let's go.

You know I never say no.

But I'm not in the mood.

For the first time,

I'm single, available, and you say,

"I don't want to!"

Sorry! I'm just upset about Fish.

And I messed with this girl.

I have to recover an audio from her head.

Forget about it with a drink.

Passing out is the perfect solution.

Let's go!

But I need a favor.

-Name it.

-No matter how much I beg,

you can't give me this cell phone

when we're drinking.

-Okay?

-I promise.

Let's drink!

Is this for real?

Ha ha, you need therapy.

Let me know, my rates are cheap.

Yes, we were getting married.

But was wrong.

Maybe letting him go was a mistake,

and now it's over.

-Forever.

-No, come on. Mafer.

-Yes.

-Relationships have

-cycles.

-Right.

It's better to say bye

at the right time

before someone ends up hurt.

-You're right.

-Think about something else.

Fabs, are you okay?

-Yes. Why?

-It's just that

-I'm fine, stop staring!

-Sure?

-Yes! Stop judging me!

-Nobody's judging!

-What are you worried about?

-Nobody's judging.

Fish!

The tampons mine?

Yes.

Heavy flow.

-They work really well.

-What are you doing?

Relaxation therapy. But with fruit.

Peace and chastity.

Sorry, sisters.

My robe!

When you said we were dressing up,

this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

Anyway, tell me what to do.

Hello, chickie.

Underneath these costumes

are the hottest models in the world.

Don't hold back. Let yourself go.

Vadhir, do we really have

to do it this way?

You have no desire for a

director-actor connection?

Yes, but I meant going

for a beer or something.

You're joking. A beer?

Do you think Scorsese

and DiCaprio went for a beer?

I'm taking you to the next level!

Okay, sorry.

What's the dynamic at these events?

Should I talk to someone? Bark at them?

Do I need a nickname?

Vadhir, dude!

Where are you?

Vadhir?

Sorry! Excuse me!

Thank you! Sorry!

I'm not used to this big body.

What's up? You okay?

This party is cool!

Thanks, but no thanks! Very kind.

I had tea just before coming over.

I used to have a chick like you.

Sorry!

Sorry, no offense.

Your girlfriend is cute.

Hey. Nice to meet you.

I love your hair.

This might seem strange,

but you remind me of someone.

This is moving very fast.

You don't remind me of her that much.

Sorry, it's not you, it's me.

sh*t, that's what I call horny.

Since then,

I've been a fan of taking risks.

Dude!

-f*ck, Vadhir! You left me!

-How's it going?

We're going upstairs.

It's cooler and more private.

I'll take the possum

and you take the penguin?

Penguins give me the creeps.

She'll take a mate for life.

But that's not my style.

Let me guess.

I'm not the first idiot to approach you.

In that case,

I'll buy you a drink, then leave.

For all us idiots

who tried to ruin your night.

Great.

Let me guess. You're a photographer.

-How did you know?

-I have a gift,

where I can tell

people's profession by their hands.

-Seriously?

-No! I just saw you taking photos outside.

-Yes.

-Hello! Gonzalo Torres. Nice to meet you.

-Gonzalo, my buddy.

-Verónica.

Did you know that Daniel's IQ

is above average, Verónica?

-This guy's a genius.

-No, I didn't know.

-He went to Harvard.

-Unnecessary, but thanks.

So you told me, you're a photographer.

-Yes.

-What's your IQ?

I mean, sorry for asking.

I know it's really important for Daniel.

Literally nobody cares about her IQ.

-Cut that out!

-What?

We're busy.

I was helping.

You were heading for the friendzone.

-Why do that?

-It's what a good wingman does.

Wow.

So, what do you do?

-I'm

-Unemployed.

He was fired

for snorting coke at work.

We don't mention it no more.

He may seem depressed and broke,

but this guy's the best.

He's a great catch.

-What was your name again?

-María.

Just like your ex.

Like the girl you were going to marry.

This is a good sign. Shots for everyone!

We have to celebrate.

Gonzo, come on. That was so lame.

Don't worry. You'll get the next one.

What are you talking about?

-I was doing fine.

-You're terrible at flirting.

No, I'm not!

-This thing's ringing.

-Who is it?

Here, give it to me.

-Untill you're sober you said.

-C'mon.

-Who's drunk?

-I don't care. I won't give it to you.

This is life or death, give it to me.

No way, you a*s.

f*cking sh*t.

Dude.

I'm sorry.

I was the worst wingman ever.

I ruined things on purpose.

Seriously, dude?

But why me, Gonzo?

Why don't you do that

to Fish or Sebastián?

Wanna know why?

Because they don't have

what you and Mafer have.

I was letting you think it over

before shutting that door.

Don't you understand?

You and Mafer were the only proof

that love exists! I'm no romantic,

but if you do this, there's no going back.

Sorry about your phone.

It doesn't matter.

Why was it so important

to talk to Fabiana?

She owes me money.

According to Lacan's psychoanalysis,

close to Freud's, but not the same,

the phallus is the symbol

around which our society functions.

It's a biological marker

of a psychological

difference.

Is everything okay?

You've never seen a dildo?

Don't be scared!

It's just a shape. Ask anything you want.

Blanca?

No. Nothing.

-Sure?

-Yes.

I know.

I'm going to put this tampon box here

and make it an anonymous question box.

You can ask anything you want

about life, sex, love

I'll answer them all

in the next class, also anonymously.

Okay.

Good day, Miss Fabiana.

-Good day, Superior.

-Good day, girls.

May the Lord be with you.

And with your spirit.

What's this, dear?

It's a Look.

It's a massager.

-It's pain free, to help sleep.

-I want something like it.

-No doubt.

-I get really cramped during Holy Week.

Does it feel good? Shut

-May I borrow it?

-Of course. It will be your best friend.

Thank you.

I came to see how things were going,

but I see everything is going smoothly.

May God be with you.

Likewise, Mother. Enjoy it.

Thank you, all my blessings for you.

-I like it.

-It's really cool.

No, Sebas.

You want my opinion?

I think that synthetic fabric

is not true to my character's past

and his mission in life.

Plus, I look like Carlos Ponce.

Perhaps.

Not perhaps. I do.

He can't "incarnate"

his character with this wardrobe?

Who does he think he is? Jim Carrey?

We only have to switch

to hypoallergenic fabrics.

Only? Two days before we open?

Change to his f*cking hipster fabrics?

What are you thinking?

There's no money.

This isn't Broadway.

Yes. I'll talk to him.

You said that last time. Did you?

-No.

-Okay. Talk to him!

-Please!

-Yes.

I just sent you the address

for my documentary screening.

Please. It's at 8:00.

-At 8:00.

-Be there.

Vadhir, all your ideas

-have been amazing.

-Thanks.

You've shone a better light

on the project.

-Right?

-Yes.

-And we're friends, right?

-Friends?

Brothers! Actually,

I wanted to invite you to an event

just for special people.

The Orgy-a-thon.

It's for charity, for the planet.

They plant a tree for every orgasm.

I wanted to talk about

Wait a second.

-Did you say, "orgy"?

-It's non-profit,

and it's for the environment, but yes.

You can be my guest of honor.

This will complete

-our creative bond.

-Okay, but listen.

The wardrobe.

-I wanted to say

-Sebastián, don't interrupt me.

-Sorry.

-It's so impolite.

Yes. Last year,

-my guest of honor was The Rock.

-Really?

That's why he's The Rock.

So it's not anti-feminist

if you like doing your nails, make-up.

Feminism is being able to do

what we want with our bodies

without anyone judging us.

Next question.

"What's a f*ck?" Interesting. Okay.

The term "f*ck" consists of two words.

"f*ck," which means sex.

And "boy," which means

-Boy.

-Exactly.

So a "f*ck" is a male specimen,

who seeks out women

with one thing in mind.

-What?

-I know.

-Sex.

-Exactly.

There are different types.

But the most dangerous

are the ones you think care about you

when, they just want one thing, that is

-Sex!

-Exactly.

f*ck are bad?

I thought they were good!

No, they're terrible.

I'll give you a life example.

Fabiana, listen to me.

I need to tell you something.

I wake up thinking of you,

I spend the day thinking of you.

Wishing you in my bed at night.

Just to cuddle, not for sex.

Can you believe it?

Fabiana, what did you do to me? I think

I love you.

Terrible.

Notice how drunk his words are,

his falseness.

-Miss Fabiana?

-Yes?

Could it be that his drunkenness

suppressed his Super Ego,

in the Freudian sense, of course,

letting through a desire

for latent, repressed love,

hidden away in his psyche,

and therefore,

he truly is in love with you?

Gabriela Look, we have

a psychologist in the class.

Gabriela.

Don't go talking about things

you don't know. Okay?

I'm the professional adult here.

I'm taking a point off your grade.

For talking about things

you don't understand.

How annoying.

Next question.

My p*nis doesn't control me.

I control my p*nis.

Hello, Fish.

Do you want to play with me?

All you have to do

is bite the apple.

Jimena Sanchez?

I've fantasized about you so much.

But I can't.

Not you nor anyone

controls me now. I'm free.

Plus, Inés is a better host than you.

Do you know how many men

wish they were in this dream?

Many, I suppose.

No, please.

No! Don't.

Jimena, no!

I'm cured. I'm free!

I'm free.

I'm finally free!

Hi, friends. This is Fish.

Happy to greet you all!

This is the face of a free man.

I'll explain why.

My new invention

will revolutionize the world.

Wait at home and save this post.

Answer, Fabiana.

Where are you?

to be happy single, no partner.

I love life as a single woman.

Dani, send me your location.

I'm coming with you.

Hey, sebastián!

Sebastián!

Welcome, brother.

My guest of honor is here.

Let's hear it for him, please.

This party is dedicated to him.

What are you wearing?

I sent him something special.

Yeah, you're hot!

Yeah!

Give us a spin!

Let's check out your butt.

Very nice. Hot buns.

People, show him love!

Show him a good time.

Planet Earth will be grateful.

-Hey.

-Hello, Sebastián.

Want to come to the darkroom with us?

Yes, that sounds like a lot of fun.

Nat, I haven't finished the costumes.

I'm worn out. Please!

Okay. Let's go.

What year is it? How long was I in there?

What day is it?

I have to go back

and tell my wife I love her.

-What time is it?

-8:00.

8:00?

-Okay.

-Relax.

Someone's always crazy in there.

-Really?

-Yes.

Wait, it's 8:00.

Please.

It's at 8:00.

It's 8:00!

f*ck me! Sorry!

I forgot I have something important to do.

-You're gorgeous, but I have

-Sebas!

You're beautiful

and I'm so sorry for doing this.

Where are you going?

Sorry, Vadhir.

I forgot I had something important to do.

Are you sh1tting me, man?

You're going to miss your piñata?

Sorry?

What did you do to me?

I think

I think I love you.

Hey, what's up, Fabi?

You don't call me Fabi.

Really? I hadn't noticed.

You know I hate it.

So

Why did you call?

I just wanted to explain

the voice message.

I was really drunk and stoned.

I hope I didn't confuse you or anything.

No, Gonzo. Not at all.

Your brain don't work when you're drunk.

That's right, yes.

Shots for everyone, on me!

Hey, sorry.

I'm gonna let you go.

I'm having drinks with some girls.

I hope you're not jealous.

You know the Astral Stick has

energy for all of you.

No, Gonzo. Don't worry about it.

I don't really care.

Same here. Glad we talked.

-Have fun. Bye.

-Bye!

Seriously,

that's how I became

the youngest stockbroker in the company.

Well done!

This dude

is the real

Wolf of Polanco

No, I'm not!

You're exaggerating.

Next round's on me!

Nat?

Sorry!

I got to the screening,

but nobody was there.

I didn't make it either.

What happened?

Problems. A crisis. Efi needed me.

f*cking sh*t. I'm so sorry.

Let's go rest, okay? Efi?

-Efi, you can go home and rest.

-Will you pay me overtime?

Efi, you're exhausted.

Nat, time to rest. Let's go.

I'm sorry. I'm an idiot for being late.

You've never let me down.

-I failed you.

-Yes, you did.

Sorry.

I'm sorry about the fabrics.

I'm sorry about Vadhir.

I'm sorry.

You doubt yourself.

Look.

You created all that.

You should know that.

We all have faith in you. Except you.

What Vadhir is doing is out of insecurity.

The wardrobe issue proves it.

That guy needs someone

to direct him properly.

You're right.

Get some rest.

JORGE NEGRETE THEATER

ALMOST AT THE END

Are you sh1tting me?

This fabric is all wrong.

Aren't you the producer?

-Yes.

-Right. Natalia is the producer.

Don't talk to her like that.

I told her we're not changing fabrics.

I'm creating the character with you,

not fabrics.

-But

-No.

By the way, your character

didn't have a traumatic past

and isn't the son of immigrants.

He doesn't like to read Marx's Capital.

Your character is as I wrote it.

Trust the text. Trust me as your director,

just like I trust you.

Is that clear?

-Whatever you say, Mr. Director.

-From the top.

-Sorry, you were saying?

-No

Will that thing be ready The

I think so.

-Tell me about tonight?

-I have a surprise for you.

Wanna go?

-Let's go tomorrow.

-Yes, of course.

Look at those people.

-Drinking so early on a Tuesday.

-Instead of working.

-Hey, Mafer.

-What?

Isn't that your boyfriend?

No, we broke up.

So

You're going to swallow him whole.

-Pedro?

-Gonzo

-Gonzo, a girl liked me!

-Hey, wake up!

-Pedro.

-Yes.

Send me the concepts.

-Will do.

-We'll work on them.

Okay.

What is it?

-It's a surprise. I can't say.

-I'm getting dizzy.

Careful.

-There's a giant step here.

-No, there isn't.

-Seriously, I'm getting dizzy. Can I look?

-Not yet.

No, where is it?

-There you are. Ready?

-Yes.

What is this?

Well

We're celebrating your movie.

-You didn't have to.

-Yes, I did.

I've been selfish.

Come over here. It's important.

Dude.

Welcome to your spaceship!

Wow!

Let's make it a double celebration.

No?

-For my documentary and your play.

-Our play.

Our play.

-We did it.

-We did it.

Okay, now tell me.

-Tell me about the documentary.

-No, some other time.

Come on.

We have all the time in the world.

Well, it's really cool.

It's about a shaman

who lives in Northern Mexico

between the Sonora Desert and Arizona.

He's a shaman

who's been protecting the native community

for many years now