03x02 - Too Many Harrys Spoil the m*rder

[bunniefuu]

How long on the hispi?

- One minute, chef.
- Don't overcook it.

I never do, you twat.

No, chef.

Lenny, where's my compote?

- Ready, chef!
- Then let's dish up piggy.

Backs!

- Guests are getting restless,
Daryl.

- Dishing up now.
I need 10 minutes.

Gail!

Lenny, let's start
dishing up sides.

Yes, chef.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Laughter ]

- Ah, enough about Rodney
and Bill's saucy sex life.

Have you heard this one?

So this, er, blind guy
walks into a bar

and sits down and says,

"Would anyone like to hear
some blonde jokes?"

The waitress says, "I'm blonde,
my co-worker's blonde,

and the lady you've just
sat next to is blonde.

Are you sure you still
wanna tell those jokes?"

The blind guy thinks about it
and goes, "I guess not.

Don't wanna have to
explain myself three times."

[ Laughter ]

Oh!

No offense intended, Maria,
just a bit of fun.

- Ah, you think I'm a natural
blonde, you poor sweet man.

- [ Laughter ]
- Ohh!

- The main course
is almost ready.

How about a round of shots
while you're waiting?

- Didn't I tell you?
Best restaurant in Dublin.

[ Indistinct chatter ]

Right, who can follow that?

Ah, let's go!
[ Laughter ]

Your turn, Sean. A joke!

Another round, Harry.

Round of shots coming up.

Mm, excuse me, gentlemen.

I need to take a piss.

- I've heard that joke
about four times.

Good.

Tamsin?

Tell Maria I need her.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Okay, service,


- Yes, chef!
- Yes, chef!

Good, serve up.

Maria?

You in here?

[ Rustling ]

[ Dramatic music plays ]

- And, Lenny, out there,
smile, alright?

Gail, smile.
Ian's an old friend.

[ Gasping ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Tamsin!

Er, I can't find her.

- Jesus Christ!
She chooses now to wander off?

Screw it. Come on!

- [Glasses clink]
- Yeah! Mm!

Feck's sake, Gail!

Ah!

Let me assure you, gentlemen,

this will have been
worth the wait,

because Daryl here is
the best chef in Ireland.

Possibly even Europe.
[ Chuckles ]

So, what've you got for us,
Daryl?

As requested, gentlemen...

[ Dramatic music plays ]

[ Screams ]

[ Theme music plays ]

I know who k*lled my Maria,
and I want you to prove it.

Jeff Thomson.

He used to be
my business partner.

We opened Al Vesuvio together.
It was called Original then.

- And I take it things
didn't end well?

- He and Maria
were together first.

It was no one's fault,
but when Maria and I discovered

we had feelings for each other,
it got very awkward,

so I did the decent thing
and bought Jeff out.

Well, not having an affair

with your business partner's
girlfriend

might be considered
the decent thing.

- Well, the heart wants
what the heart wants, right?

Most people would take the money
and start afresh,

but Jeff's always been a...

Bought the restaurant
right across the street,

called it The New Original.

Sad f*ck!

- And have you told
the guards about him?

- Of course, but they say
he was in his kitchen

surrounded by a dozen witnesses
at the time.

But I'm telling you, the only
person who'd want to k*ll Maria

and destroy me
is Jeff.

- Well, how could he if he was
surrounded by people

at the time of Maria's death?

- I don't know,
but I know he did it.

And I don't trust those guards.

The one that's in charge,
DI Boyle --

you know she's a vegan?

This is good timing.

Gonna need all the money
I can get for this solicitor.

I've got a meeting at the end
of the week.

You still okay
to come with us?

- Yeah, of course
I'll come with you.

But don't you think there's
a more amicable way for you

to resolve this
with your mother?

- She's trying to take
Libby away from us.

I'll do whatever I can
to protect my family.

- Well, she's your family too,
Fergus,

whether you like it or not.

Well, I don't.

- What exactly are you
looking for?

The guards have already looked.
She wasn't k*lled in here.

- We're just trying to get
a sense of who Maria was.

- Guards don't know
where she was k*lled?

Not a clue.

They say it doesn't make sense.

There would've been a lot of...

a lot of blood.

Mm.

Mm, that's curious.

Maria into history?

- No, chick-lit mostly.

- Oh, well, this is a rather dry,
serious account

of the Dublin miners
in the 1900s.

So...?

- Well, an unusual book
for anyone to have.

[ Knock on door ]

That'll be my staff.

I've told them to answer
all your questions.

- I worked here when it was
Daryl and Jeff.

Daryl thinks Jeff might
have something to do with it.

- What do you think?
- I dunno.

I mean, it's mental, cutting off
her head like that.

Jeff was crazy in love
with her.

I think it wrecked him when he
found out about her and Daryl.

It's not my place
to pass judgment, but...

what they did to Jeff
was bang out of order.

- Tell us about Maria.
Where was she from?

Erm, I don't know.

Erm, Sylvania,
Slovakia maybe?

One of the Slo places.

Which one has pigs?

I guess both of them, why?

- Her family were pig farmers.
She told me that once.

- But you're not sure
where exactly?

Wasn't she Irish?

Sounded Irish.

- Maria Pavlena,
not a very Irish name.

- You and me don't look
very Irish to a lot of people,

but we are, right?

Good point.

- What do you remember
about that day?

[ Exhales sharply ]

It was as busy
as Satan's arsehole.

Didn't step away
from my station all morning.

Only had six covers,
but also had a reduced staff

'cause Maria liked to save money
where she could.

Maria chose staff, not Daryl?

- Daryl wanted another
couple of chefs on,

but Maria was
the more business savvy.

Persuaded him.

She was, er, good at that.

Mm.

- Are you really private
detectives?

Yes.

- I've never met a private
detective before.

Unless I have and I
just didn't realize it.

I mean there's a school near me,

if you're anything to go by
I could be surrounded by them.

[ Laughs ]

That day, Mr. Benedict?

Oh please, call me Harry.

I'm Harry, you're Harry,
that could get confusing.

Let me think, um, I woke up
around 8:00,

I, err, had a cup of coffee,

I had, err, two slices
of toast with jam --

More about the lunch
rather than the whole day,

if you don't mind.

- Oh, of course not, I don't
mind, I'm happy to help...

honey.

Excuse me?

- It wasn't toast and jam,
it was honey.

Or was it marmalade?

- I'm not sure how
this is relevant

to what happened to Maria, so...

Aye, good point, unless it was,

the chaos theory
and all that, yeah?

You know, butterfly flaps
its wings in Dublin,

there's an earthquake in Japan.

So, maybe on a kind
of a cosmic level,

my decision to have honey
did contribute to it, mm?

- I went to find her
but she wasn't there.

Mr Croft was though, and he
made me feel uncomfortable,

so I got out of there.

- Uncomfortable?
How?

- He was blocking my way,
he's a bit slimy.

Is there a back way out?

Only through the kitchen.

- So, just to be clear,
the only ways in and out

of the restaurant
are through the front into here,

which is full of people
or through the back

into the kitchen,
which is also full of people.

Yes.

- Thank you, Tamsin,
you've been very helpful.

[Alarm blaring in distance]

So, if there are only two ways
in or out,

how did the k*ller get in
without being seen?

- The most obvious explanation
is they didn't,

he or she was already here.

But that raises
another question.

- What happened to Maria's body?
- What happened to Maria's body?

- I think we need to have a talk
with chef Jeff, don't you?

♪♪

[ Door opens ]

[ Door closes ]

♪♪

Pretentious f*ck!

As soon as I'm out he changes
the name to Al Vesuvio,

Daryl's as Italian
as a pint of Guinness.

He comes from money, you see,
he's never had to struggle.

That restaurant
was my livelihood,

it was my everything!

There was a moment there,
a few months ago,

where I had it all,
the girl of my dreams,

the restaurant of my dreams,

and then I find out they're
screwing behind my back

and it's all over.

- I can see how that would
make you angry.

Angry? [ Laughs ]

Angry doesn't even scratch
the surface of what I am.

I'm thrilled that b*tch is dead.

I only wish I'd been the one
that cut off the sl*t's head.

But I didn't, how could I?

I was in my kitchen,
surrounded by my staff,

they all told the Guards.

- And you didn't leave
the kitchen at all?

- I went down to the storeroom
for a few minutes,

grabbed some ingredients.

But so what?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

- Okay, that was all suspicious
as hell,

but even if he could've
snuck out of his restaurant,

how does he get into Daryl's
without being seen?

- I don't know, but did you see
that look on his face?

It was as if he knows
something we don't.

- Well, unless he knows
how to teleport,

I still don't see
how he could've got in.

Maybe he didn't.

Maybe he hired someone
to k*ll her,

someone who was already there,

that's why he's got such
a smug look on his face.

♪♪

I knew there was something
suspicious about him.

[ Indistinct conversation ]

♪♪

♪♪

Let's follow him.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

♪♪

[ Bell dings ]

♪♪

♪♪

- Oh, he must've gone into
one of these shops.

Which one?

- Which one what?
- Ooo!

Who are we following?

- Care to explain
why Jeff Thomson

just gave you
an envelope full of cash?

- I don't know what
you're talking about.

- Oh, I wonder if the Guards
would be interested.

- [ Chuckles,
speaking in native language ]

What did he say?

It's Irish, it means
my word against yours.

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

What now?
I mean, he's bound

to have told Jeff
that we were following them.

- It would rather hamper
next steps.

- Err, listen, I-I gotta go
and meet Lola,

she's picking up
Liberty from school and --

God, what do you want?

- To apologize, that was
a mean thing I did,

I regretted it,
almost immediately.

Harry, I said to myself,

show a little
professional curtesy

to a pair
of fellow dicks.

We're the same, you and me,

only you have
a very nice office.

I usually just work out
of my car.

You work for Jeff Thomson.

- Been undercover in
Al Vesuvio for a while now.

Jeff wanted me to find something

that would put Daryl
out of business,

he's a very bitter man,
I'm sure you've noticed.

- So, why were you
meeting him today?

- Because he's changed
the parameters of my assignment.

He didn't k*ll Maria,
but he thinks Daryl did,

and he wants me to prove it.

Chances are one of them
k*lled the poor cow.

So, what do you say
we pool our resources?

How about an exchange
of information?

- I say not a chance,
you cheeky b*stard.

Oh, oh...

Oh, well, fair enough.

Suit yourselves.

♪♪

Oh...

and may the best man win.

♪♪

What an insufferable sh*t.

That's rude.

♪♪

What now?

- I think we need to talk
to Ian Croft.

Why him?

- It feels convenient
that the whole restaurant

was booked out.

Why book out
the whole restaurant

for a business lunch?

It's hard to get a table
at Al Vesuvio.

It's usually full which means

there would be
a lot more people there,

which means that it would be...

- much harder to...
- To k*ll and decapitate

someone without being seen.
I -- I get it.

Look I -- I'll see you later.

[ Door closes ]

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

In here!

♪♪

Smells good.

Thanks for picking her up.
Where is she?

In her room.

I'll just go up and say hi.

Wait.

She told me something
on the way home.

There's something she wants
to tell you,

but she's worried
you'll be upset.

What?

She wants to go to America.

- What?
[ Chuckles ]

No, she -- she doesn't
understand.

- She understands
more than you think.

I told her it was a really
long way away

and she told me
it was 6,654 kilometers away;

she'd looked it up.

She's given this a lot
of thought, Ferg.

- No, she doesn't understand
how far that is,

they're just numbers to her.

- She knows there's an ocean
in between.

She knows she can't just
come back whenever she wants.

- Why would she --
- She wants to get to know

her mam.

You can't blame her for that.

♪♪

What do I do?

I don't wanna lose her, I...

Do I go with her?

She doesn't want you to go.

I told you, she's given this
a lot of thought.

She knows you wanna stay here
because of Harry,

because of the agency,
because of me.

- She -- she can't, Lola,
she's eight.

Go and talk to her.

I think you'll see what I saw.

[ Door creaks ]

[ Sniffles, clears throat ]

I think you and I should have
a little chat.

Come on.

♪♪

♪♪

- Remarkably mature for
an eight-year-old.

Yeah, tell me about it.

- How are you feeling?
Really?

Devastated.

But it's what she wants,
Harry, Paula wins.

Don't think about it like that.

Liberty wins,
think about it like that.

Come on, back to work,
take your mind off of it.

[ Indistinct conversations,
telephone ringing ]

Harry Wild, Fergus Reid,

we have an appointment
to see Ian Croft.

Okay, just a moment please.

- [ Laughs ]
You are a rogue, you are.

Scoundrel, despicable,
brilliant.

Listen, don't be a stranger,

I always have work
for a man like you.

- Well, that's good to hear,
and thank you for your time.

Not at all.

♪♪

- Err, thank you for agreeing
to see us.

- Well, I don't know if I can
tell you much more

than I've just
told your colleague.

- Err, not our colleague.
- Isn't he?

How many private detectives
are there?

One too many.

- Well, I suppose you'd better
come in then.

Hold all calls, yeah?

Alright, so, let's be quick,

I've already been through this
and I'm a busy man,

as you can imagine.

Very well.

So, tell us, Mr. Croft,
why did you book out

the whole restaurant
for six people?

Seems excessive.

- Well, this is why
I've always said

there's no place
for a woman in business.

Now that's not sexism,
that's just fact.

You see, the lads I invited
that day had the potential

to put a lot of money
in revenue through my company,

so I showed off a bit.

A little excess goes a long way
I find.

- Mm.
- How well did you know Maria?

- Well, not as well as I would've
like to, if you get my drift.

Now she, I might say,
was an exception to that rule,

she did have a good head
on her for business...

and a lovely a*s.

[ Cellphone rings ]

- Oh.
- Sounds like the 1960s calling.

- You know, ah it's just the
wife, she'll want money.

Sorry, you were saying
something about the 1960s?

- Oh, we were talking about
Maria.

- Ah, yes, it's a crime
what happened.

- Yes, cutting somebody's
head off is a crime.

- You're not implying it was me,
are you?

Because whoever did it
would have been drenched,

and I mean drenched,
in blood.

Trust me, my first job
was in an abattoir,

I know of what I speak,
and I didn't have a drop on me,

so it couldn't have been me.

- So, you're saying you have
previous experience

in slaughtering
living creatures.

And I would presume that
in a premeditated m*rder,

such as this one,

the k*ller would've been
savvy enough to premeditate,

I don't know,
protective clothing?

- [ Chuckles ] Come on, what
possible motive

could I have for k*lling her?

- Maybe you propositioned her
and she turned you down.

- Don't be ridiculous,
if I lopped off the head

of every woman whose ever
turned me down then I,

well, not that
there have been many,

but I wouldn't do
that is my point.

- We were told that you left
the dining room

around the same time
that Maria did.

- Yes, I did.
So what?

I went to the loo, I've already
told this to the Guards

and to your colleague.

Well, having a bladder
is a crime now, is it?

Anyway I didn't see Maria,
she wasn't back there, so...

- Well, there's no other way out
back there, so where did she go?

- Well, I don't know.
Why don't you

ask the flirty little waitress?

She followed me.

Has a bit of a crush,
I'd say.

Mm, no, she hasn't.

I think I know how women think.

- Any idea what I'm thinking
right now?

♪♪

♪♪

Just, it doesn't add up, right?

I mean, if he's telling the
truth, then where did Maria go?

- That's why we need
to talk to Tamsin again.

- Oh...
- Alright.

- You can, err, feel free
to question her,

but she and Ian
are telling the truth.

Maria wasn't
in the store room,

which means she somehow
vanished into thin air.

So you, err, wanna team up now?

No!

Okay.

b*stard.

♪♪

[ Humming ]

- Why does that man
infuriate me so much?

And he's one of these people
who says what they like

and likes what they say,

and they always have
to be right.

Oh.

I hate people like that.

- Oh.
- Yeah, they're the worst.

Oh, yeah.

- Listen, I'm gonna get home
and spend some time with Liberty

while I still can.

Oh...

sketch.

[ Whistles poorly ]

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

♪♪

Oh!

Sit down, Mrs. Wild.

We need to talk.

Who the hell is that?

♪♪

- My name is Vincent,
but people call me Dutch.

I want you to tell me
what you found out

about this woman
you know as Maria.

She's dead.

Well, I know that.

So let's not play
silly buggers.

Maria was in possession
of something

that didn't belong to her
and I need it back.

What is it?

- A painting, she stole it
over a year ago...

and we've been looking
for her ever since.

- Wouldn't she have sold it
by now?

- It takes time to move art
that valuable,

and we have contacts, we'd know
if it came onto the market,

legally or not.

So tell me, is there a safe
in the restaurant?

Not that I've seen.

- Have you gone through
her records?

Any mention of a safe
deposit box?

What about friends, confidants?

- No, no one seems to know
much about her,

where she came from
or if she has family or...

Well. that's disappointing.

You're not really much use
to me at all are you?

♪♪

- Oh, sorry I'm late, err,
the others are on their way,

err, they're just parking.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know
you were in a meeting.

Sure I'll -- I can wait outside.

No need.

I was just leaving.

♪♪

And you'll be sure to call me
now if you hear anything.

Okay, Mrs. Wild?

♪♪

Mr. Benedict.

Who's that?

How'd he know my name?

What are you doing here?

- Err, well, I saw that fella
coming in, you know and, ha,

well, a face like
that's never good news.

You saw him come in?

What were you doing,
waiting outside my office?

- Would you believe
I was just passing?

No.

Oh, no, neither would I.

Okay, the truth is...

I'm drawn to you, Harry.

What?

- You're a mighty handsome woman
and,

yes, I was,
I was loitering outside

but I was -- I was just trying
to pluck up the courage

to come in here
and ask you out on a date.

[ Scoffs ] What?

- What do you say to dinner?
Do you know what?

It's actually wrong of me
to put you on the spot

after what you've been through.

Why don't you, err, give me your
answer next time you see me.

♪♪

[ Sighs ]
What the...

♪♪

- Bloody Guards still won't
let me reopen.

It's only been a few days.

- I know, but I need something
to take my mind off Maria.

Not doing anything's
just t*rture.

When we talked to your staff

everyone had a different idea
of who Maria was.

Do you actually know
where she came from?

- How's that helping to prove
Jeff k*lled her?

- Well, it's more complex
than that.

Your barman works for Jeff.

Harry? What?

He's a private detective, too.

Jeff hired him to find a way
to close you down.

The sneaky f*cking b*stards.

- Err, there's someone else
involved,

a very scary man
with a heavy Cork accent.

Did Maria have
any connection to Cork?

Who's this scary man from Cork?

Did Jeff hire him to k*ll her?

No, he's separate.

She had something he wanted.

He was asking
if there was a safe.

- Did you ever see
Maria's passport?

Did I ever see her passport?

What sort of weird
question's that?

Did you?

Because the man from Cork
said something very odd.

"This woman you know as Maria".

- Look, would Maria
hide something anywhere?

- Hide something?
Like what?

In an attic, anywhere...

Underground.

Why did she have that book?

♪♪

From everything you said
about Maria,

she wouldn't read this book
unless she had a reason.

Oh. There's a page
that's turned down.

Smugglers' tunnels
and how to find them.

There'll be an indentation in
the side in which to get a hook.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Is this one?

♪♪

Here, let's use this rail.

♪♪

[ Grunting ]

♪♪

- What the f*ck?
- Urgh!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Oh.

Oh!

♪♪

[ Both groan ]

Can you see anything?

♪♪

There.

♪♪

Urgh.

♪♪

♪♪

- Mother?
- Charlie, it's me.

I think we've found
the rest of...

Found the rest of what?

Maria Pavlena.

We're in -- in a tunnel
under the restaurant.

Don't touch a thing.

- Yeah.
- We're on our way.

Okay.

What did Charlie say?

He said don't touch anything.

It doesn't count if we've
already touched it

before he tells us.

Come on.

♪♪

♪♪

Oh!

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you, thank you for giving
me this time to talk to you.

Yes, well, we found
your church's stamp

on the inside cover
of a book.

Oh, what book is that?

"Far From The Madding Crowd."

Father Michael?

Are you still there?

Oh, err, yes, no,
there was a, err, photograph,

err, a bookmark in it.

It's a young woman
with a child in her arms.

Do you recognize it?

I see, oh.

[ Indistinct talking]

Oh, um, when was that?

Oh...

F-Father Michael,
could I call you right back?

[ Mouths word ]

♪♪

♪♪

That was a fascinating
conversation.

I think I need a cup of tea.
Do you want one?

Sure, I'll help.

Let's go.

♪♪

- [ Whispering ]
What the hell's that?

Have we been bugged?

[ Whispering ] I think so.

- Who bugged us?
Scary Cork fella?

Oh, no, I don't think so.

You know, I think it's someone
closer to home,

that's why he's always one step
ahead of us all the time.

Sneaky little...

- Father Michael said
that he recognized the book

and the photo
from my description,

he said it belonged
to a woman called Kelly Childs.

Her baby died,
she ended up on the streets.

Well, there's a character
in "Far from The Madding Crowd"

called Fanny Robin,
she and her baby both die,

I think that's why Kelly was
so attached to that book.

Okay.

Does he know where she is?

- He said the last time he saw
her she was going to that --

that big hotel in Dunleary,
the -- The Majestic.

Someone had offered her work

but he didn't know
who or what work.

- Okay, so we need to check out
that hotel.

What do we do
about you know who?

I have an idea about that.

[ Humming ]

- I just don't know why
I didn't realize it,

I mean that man
has predator...

straight through him, I mean
just like a stick of rock.

- I told you there was something
creepy about him

when we met him.

- Hm.
- Who?

Oh, yeah.

You know, I should've listened.

- So Father Michael
recognized him?

- No, but from his description,
he could only be one person

and Charlie
all but confirmed it.

They have all of the text
messages that he sent to Maria.

You've read them, right?

- That is one unhealthy
obsession alright.

- Yes, but it's not proof
that he k*lled her.

It's all circumstantial.

- But, Harry, we know something
that Charlie doesn't,

we've seen the red box, the one
mentioned in all the texts.

It's right there on
the shelf...

- Oh.
- ...in his office next

to the sword that he used
to cut off her head.

Oh, my god!

You're right.

Hidden in plain sight.
Why didn't I see it?

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, Fergus, you're so clever.

Well, that's all the proof
we need.

- All we need to do
is get that box

and we've got him
banged to rights.

- I say we confront Ian Croft
first thing in the morning.

♪♪

- You are gonna be way too late
by then, darling.

[ Car engine starts ]

♪♪

- Welcome to The Majestic.
Checking in?

- No, we've come to ask you
some questions.

- We're looking for a woman,
blonde,


last Tuesday.

- Do you know how many rooms
we have in this place?

You need to give me
a bit more than that.

- She would've looked homeless.
- Why didn't you lead with that?

Of course I remember her,
she stank to high heaven.

I was trying to get her
to leave, but she had a room

booked and paid for so there
was nothing I could do.

- Do you recall
what room she was in?

- Of course I do,
she's still in it.

- What?
- What?

She booked for a week.

How much for the room number?

♪♪

- I'm not sure that this
is the best plan, Harry.

We're talking about someone
who's literally cut off

a woman's head.

- Let's hope she doesn't have any
sharp knives about her person.

That's not very comforting.

Oh, such a wuss.

Wuss.

♪♪

- Maybe we should just
kick the door down?

Be my guest.

Take the lift,
I'll try and cut her off!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Grunts ]

[ Coughing ]

- I thought you said
she was dead.

We thought she was.

Turns out she k*lled
someone else in her place.

- Yeah, she did a good job,
I wasn't looking for her.

But if it wasn't for you two,
she'd have gotten away with it.

You have my card, I owe you one.

- Wait, wait, we can't let you --
- I'm not gonna k*ll her.

I don't k*ll people,
unless I have to.

[ Chuckles ]

- Tina here --
- Tina?

- Tina?
- Tina O'Connell, from Cork.

Tina here is gonna give back
what she took.

After that I'll bring her
wherever you want.

- The Guards?
- If you want.

[ Groaning ]

♪♪

- Do you think we'll ever see
her alive again?

For some reason I trust him.

♪♪

[ Grunts ]

[ Banging on door ]

Argh!

♪♪

- I can tell from your faces,
I've convinced you

why you should put
your business our way.

I don't need to say anymore
but what I will say is this --

It's over, fella.

Ha, the Guards are on their way.

- What?
- You think you got away with it?

You sick b*stard.

Not in my Dublin.

- What?
What are you talking about, man?

I'm so sorry.

- I'll tell you what
I'm talking about.

- No!
- This.

- What the hell!
That's my --

Oh, God!

Oh, mummy!
What...

I'm sorry, oh, I --
I've got you mummy!

I-I've got to put you back
in your box now, mummy!

Say -- say hello
to daddy up there!

I'm sorry.

I love you.

♪♪

Give me that towel.

What?

Maria Pavlena never existed.

She was Tina O'Connell
from Cork,

and just over a year ago

she decided she'd had enough
of her gangster boyfriend

so she left, taking a very
expensive painting with her.

- Now the problem was that
she couldn't sell it

without tipping him off
to her whereabouts

so she decided
to lie low for a while

until she could work out a plan
and that's when she met you two.

- Jeff was an easy mark,
quickly asked her to move in.

Well, she needed
somewhere to stay.

- And then she met Daryl
and he offered the same thing,

except you had more money

which meant she could lie
low in more comfort.

- And everything was fine
until a couple of weeks ago

when an associate of her ex
dined at Al Vesuvio.

- He recognized her immediately
and she recognized him,

she knew it was only a matter
of time before her ex

sent his attack dog,
Dutch, to sniff her out.

So she came up with a plan
to escape.

- The only reason she was
still here

is she was waiting
for the painting to be sold.

These things take time
when they're ill*gal.

- I don't understand, are you
saying that wasn't Maria's head?

- No, no, that was the head
of a homeless woman

called Kelly Childs.

- How the hell did you make
that mistake?

- But to be fair she bore
a strong resemblance,

that's why Maria picked her.

- And when Daryl saw the head
on the platter, it was a shock,

he saw blonde hair,
red lips and big earrings.

♪♪

♪♪

Maria promised Kelly 200 euros

if she'd come to the hotel,
where she gave her a makeover,

she cleaned her up,
bleached her hair,

spray tan, make up.

She turned Kelly into her twin.

Then she had Kelly meet her

in the tunnels
under the restaurant.

- And that's where
she k*lled her.

- Now it must've been earlier
that day,

so the head
was still fresh enough

and Maria must've had
protective clothing ready

because there would've been
a lot of --

a lot of blood
when she...

decapitated her.

- Later that day she switched
Kelly's head with the pig,

then escaped
through the tunnels.

♪♪

We've been bloody chumps.

I'm sorry, Jeff.

Yeah.

I'm...

sorry, too.

♪♪

[ Siren wailing in distance ]

I should be mad at you two.

You made me look
like a right ejit.

- But, err, I deserved it.
- Mm.

- I didn't take you two
seriously enough.

I won't make that mistake again.

You...

owe me dinner.

Urgh.

I trusted you.

I let you back in after
everything you've done.

I know.

- And I'm sorry.
- You're sorry?

You should've said,
that's alright then.

Five years I have spent
without a mother

and when you come back you only
come back for one of your kids.

Do you have any idea

how that makes me feel?

No, of course you don't,
because you don't know me.

You tell her, son.

You're no better than her!

- Me?
- Yes, you!

Liberty would be better off
with me.

But that's not what she wants,
is it?

She wants to go to America
with you.

She wants to get to know
her mam.

And I can't deny her that,
no matter how much it hurts.

♪♪

So, her favorite cereal
is sugar flakes,

her favorite movie is

"The Princess Diaries 2:
The Royal Engagement,"

her favorite snack is popcorn,

her favorite bedtime book
is "The Story of The Little Mole

Who Knew It Was
None of His Business,"

but you have to do
all the voices.

So you promise me, you promise
you'll do all the voices?

[ Sniffles ]

I sold the company.

I thought about everything
Harry said to me.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

I'm sorry, Fergus.

I was so selfish to leave
in the first place,

and to take Liberty now,
that is not the right thing.

But I want a relationship
with my children, both of you.

So, I sold the company
and I'm moving back to Ireland,

so I can see you and Liberty
whenever you want...

if you want.

♪♪

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

[ Both sobbing ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Birds chirping,
waves crashing ]

♪♪

Oh, Harry?

Look, I don't know
what you said to her,

but whatever it was,
thank you.

Mm.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

♪♪

Oh, thank God you're here.

Tonight's the night then, hey?

It is, Fergus.

I'm about
to pop the question.

My Petra should be here
any second I --

I told her it was something
important and not to be late.

Mm.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

She's not coming, is she?

Look at me,
you've been here ages

and I haven't even
got you a drink.

So tell us.

I hear you've cracked
another case?

Do tell us the gory details,
why don't you?

- Well, this one was really
quite a case.

- What does a girl have to do
to get a drink around here?

Oh, Petra.

You came!

I said I would, didn't I?

- Oh, I know but that doesn't
always necessarily...

But anyway,
you're here now.

- Mm-hmm.

- Petra Margaret
Ophelia O'Rourke,

will you do me the incredible
honor of becoming my wife?

Oh, Glennie!

Oh, do you have any idea
how long I've been waiting

for you to ask me that?

Oh, of course I will marry you
my big, fat, stupid teddy bear.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

Oh, I forgot, I need money for
the taxi, he's waiting outside.

Oh, right, yeah, um there.

Mm!

Champagne for everyone, so?

What about the taxi?

- Well, if he wants to get paid
he'll come in eventually.

Champagne, Glennie?

Oh, right, yeah.

[ Sighs ]

[ Giggles ]

Pfft.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪