02x05 - The New Recruit

[bunniefuu]

[Five] Whoo!

[roars]

[Five] Hello! Oh!

Hoo-hoo! Why so salty?

Take that, creep!

[roars]

Hit it, Miko!

You're going down, glitchy!

[roars]

[exclaims] Yes!

With friendship on our side,

we are unstoppable!

[Ally caws] Up top.

[Five] Guess we better un-pause these

peeps and head back to HQ.

Holy MOBA. Those Tech gauntlets can

really destabilize a glitch's resolution.

And generate plixel objects of

various design.

Perfect.

[scoffs] What are you doing

in there, weirdo?

[chuckles nervously and hisses]

Engage workshop mode.

-[meowing]

-Hey, ya furball.

Okay, now, let's see if we got a

clear enough image.

Now for a little copy and paste.

Yes, come on.

Meld, you beautiful little plixels!

With a completely rendered gauntlet,

I can finally rebuild my Ridleypire.

That's it. Almost there.

No, no! Wait, wait, wait! Don't

[groans]

Why won't it work, Horn?

-[meows]

-[giggles]

Stop it, Horn, I'm angry here.

[giggling]

Stop it, you glitchy kitty.

-[electricity crackling]

-[console powering on]

If you need tech support for your

Hinobi-brand video game console,

call the Glitch Techs!

Tech support.

If I had a real gauntlet instead of

an image, I could copy it directly

[meows]

Don't mew at me, buster!

All we gotta do is borrow one

from our Techie pals!

We get in, get what we need and get out.

Nobody gets hurt.

Besides, those guys owe me one.

And the glitch was all like [roars]

[chuckles] Yeah, but you were like,

"Not so fast!

I will defend Earth to my last breath!"

-Hey, guys.

-[both scream]

Ridley?

Wait. When did you How did you

I found you by modding this metal

detector to scan for plixel energy.

And hacked my way into your van

with this omni-tool.

I realize now I should have just

waited outside.

You made your own plixel detector?

Cool beans, can I see?

[beeping]

Miko, look, look, look.

It's detecting me! [giggles]

It's really good to see you, Ridley,

but I kind of thought

you never wanted to see us again.

Oh, why would you think that?

Just because you trashed my Ridleycave,

de-rezzed my Kitty-Dragon

and sucked my entire library of custom

glitches into your Tech gauntlets?

[both] Yeah.

I'm a scientist.

I seek knowledge, not vengeance.

And Miko did once say that maybe

I could join Glitch Techs, so

[squeals] Welcome aboard, guildie!

You'd be an amazing Glitch Tech!

Won't she be an amazing Glitch Tech, Five?

With all those insane

tech skills of yours?

[speaking Spanish]

[in English] Blush emotes, you guys.

Thanks for the add.

So when do I get a gauntlet?

Captain, open a portal back to HQ!

Aye, aye, captain!

[automated voice] Portal destination set.

What? Your van teleports?

How do you stabilize a portal

for something this bi

[man] Who knows what really happens when

a video game starts to glitch?

Here come the Glitch Techs

They know what to do ♪

They got the Tech

They got the moves ♪

Glitch Techs

They're the wrecking crew ♪

They'll solve the problem ♪

Glitch Techs

When a glitch is loose ♪

They'll wipe them out

Old school or new ♪

Glitch Techs

Always coming through ♪

To solve the problem ♪

Glitch Techs

Whoa-oh ♪

Glitch Techs

Yeah ♪

[Ridley screaming]

Whoa.

My bean is blended.

And it feels awesome!

Okay, Ridley. This is it.

We're trusting you

with the ultimate glitchy knowledge.

-Are you ready to enter our secret lair?

-Yes!

Are you ready to play with the

coolest tech in the universe?

Yes!

Uh, are we actually going in?

[both] Yes!

Holy Mother of MOBA.

Hello and welcome to Hinobi HQ.

I'm High Five

and I'll be your tour guide today!

On your right is our main server hub,

with updated stats

on every reported glitch signature

from the last five console generations.

Tour guide Five is so cute.

[softly] Unlimited game library

And to your left, you'll see one of

our many state-of-the-art training arenas.

These Techs are learning how to use

level 7 maser cannons.

[grunts]

Full augmented reality simulations?

And directly in front of you--

You'll see your very annoyed boss.

Good afternoon, Techs,

and unauthorized intruder!

Phil, we were just gonna come see you.

We have a new recruit we wanna train,

and she's right here,

and I'm noticing now that you're looking

a little angry-ish about it.

My office. Now-ish.

You can't just trust

some random kid off the street.

Hinobi recruits Techs based

on thorough analysis of gamer scores,

psychological profiles, research data.

We weren't recruited that way.

Besides, you can trust Ridley.

She's our friend.

Uh, the manual says

a Glitch Tech manager can recruit

any candidate with an advanced aptitude.

Yeah. A Glitch Tech manager.

AKA, not you two.

[stuttering] Phil is correct.

What's wrong with B.I.T.T.?

[clears throat] Someone used him

to toast their bagel in a hurry

because he they, uh, are

[clears throat] hypoglycemic.

Look, the point is, your friend hasn't

been cleared through standard procedure.

So take her outside,

"restore" her system's memory

Wait, Phil. Please.

Just let us show you what she can do.

She's a really amazing modder and--

-And--

-[Ridley] Fixed.

The intruder has repaired my circuitry!

I also added some Ridley flair.

Finally, I can convey human emotions,

like love and pizza!

How did you do that?

Well, I constructed a new piece of RAM

and soldered it to the wires.

Can you get him to make donuts?

[angelic choir singing]

You got yourselves a new recruit.

[all] Yes!

But I'm holding you two responsible

for her training, understand?

We won't let you down, boss!

She'll be the best trainee Glitch Techs

has ever seen!

Now that pleasantries have been exchanged,

I have 37 questions regarding

plixel generation,

stabilization, manipulation and--

I think I'd like to be alone for a while.

B.I.T.T.?

The Glitch Tech tutorial should have

all the answers to your questions.

-There's a tutorial?

-[both] Uh

[Helpie] Calibrate upper left!

Calibrate lower right.

Anayamaguchi, where is the skip button

on this abomination?

I'm sorry. Training is mandatory

and cannot be skipped! [giggles]

Hey, what are you--

[Helpie fast-forwarding]

Poor Ridley. She'll be cooped up

with that corny consonant all day.

She'll be okay.

Let's just check back in a few--

Done.

[both] Already?

Completion confirmed, trainee!

Allow me to assign you with your very own

tier-one Glitch Tech gauntlet!

You're just gonna give me one?

[Miko] Sure. You're part of the team now!

[Five] Try it on!

Well, okay.

[choir singing]

[laughing]

Hi-yah!

How's it feel, Ridley?

It feels like ultimate power!

Does this thing have

character customization settings, or

Never mind, I see them.

[in deep voice] Power!

Honestly, guys, I was thinking

I'd just kinda go home

and get to study the ol' gauntlet

for a while? [chuckles nervously]

Uh, well, you know, as your trainers,

we're responsible for you,

so here's a quick primer

on what glitches actually are.

Raw computer code made physical

by nano-plixels that emulate the form

and behavior of their native program data?

Um, we can skip the primer. [chuckles]

-[Five] Whoa!

-[tires screech]

[Miko] Whoa!

[growls]

Class dismissed.

Time for the real deal.

[tires screech]

Whoa! Phew!

It's a Cyberdactyl

from the game Smashozaurs 3!

[growls]

[Miko] It's low-level,

but has a wicked sonic scream!

[screams]

Let's make this glitch extinct!

We say stuff like that all the time.

[chuckles]

Five, let's set her up for the shot.

Okay, Ridley.

You're gonna take this guy out.

Just aim and fire.

Okay. [breathes deeply]

Aim and fire, aim and fire

Hey, bird brain. Over here.

-[Five] Whoo-hoo!

-[Miko] No, over here.

Aim and fire

Are you trying to miss us?

Talk about bad coding.

Maybe he needs an aimbot?

Aim and fire

[both grunting]

You may fire when ready, Ridley.

Aim and fire!

Hey!

Mitch Williams.

Nice to beat you.

Mitch, you griefer.

That was Ridley's target.

Uh, Ridley?

Oh, that little weirdo

you brought in off the street?

Hey! Who are you to--

Hey, she's our friend.

Yeah. And she's part of the team now.

Well, congratulations, tiny.

You just joined the most pathetic team

on the Glitch Tech leaderboards.

We're not pathetic.

You're right, Miko.

Sixth place isn't pathetic. It's hopeless.

[Five and Miko grunt]

You'd need to catch double your

daily average to beat my capture score.

[cackling]

Buh-boosh! [laughing]

-[tires screeching]

-[coughing]

Man, just don't even listen

to that guy, Ridley.

Thanks for sticking up for me.

Of course. Friends back each other up.

Yeah, so, um, maybe I could

just take this gauntlet, and--

[groans] I just wish I could wipe

the smile off of Mitch's face.

Then do it. You gotta stand up to jerks.

I say you knock him off the top

of that daily leaderboard.

[chuckles] You know, we'd love to,

but he's higher level with better gear.

We'd have to catch, like,

twice the glitches to earn twice the XP.

[Ridley] By bringing a little of Ridley's

homebrew code

into your name-brand gauntlets,

we'll even the odds in no time.

[tires screech]

[growls]

Okay, okay, I got him. What do I do now?

Just copy and paste.

[nervously] Okay.

[Five] Whoa!

Now reel 'em in.

Got it.

[Five] Whoa!

That's amazing Ridleycraft!

But against the rules maybe?

I mean, the manual doesn't mention

glitch-cloning specifically,

but modding a gauntlet

is definitely against the rules.

What? So it's fair

that Mitch can steal a glitch,

but we can't tweak our gauntlets?

-Okay.

-Let's do it.

[hard rock music playing]

[all] Whoo-hoo!

[screeching]

[Ridley laughing]

Welcome back, Techs.

Offload your capture data

and collect your XP.

We did it! Holy nerds, we did it.

We're first on the leaderboard!

[all applauding and cheering]

Yay!

[Mitch] Oh, what are

you slackers looking at?

Here it comes, here it comes.

Watch Mitch's face. [giggles]

Huh?

My score

Ha! Eat it, hotshot.

Your score just got ganked by Team Ridley.

[echoing]

Uh

Good for you.

Almost too good to be true.

I don't know what you had to do

to earn that impossible score,

but if you can look me in the eyes

and tell me it was a clean win,

then I guess I was wrong about you.

-[Five gulps]

-Oh, it was clean.

Clean and so delicious.

Okay, then. [sighs]

Congratulations.

Five, we just pwned Mitch Williams.

Why doesn't this feel better?

That look on his face

not the one I expected.

[scoffs] Are you kidding?

It was priceless!

Ridley, I think we went too far.

Yeah, we should admit what we did.

What we did was put

a cheating griefer in his place.

Yeah, but by cheating him

and then giving him grief about it.

He was awful to us.

And now you wanna turn on me?

We're not turning on you.

We just think we should tell Phil.

Tell him what?

The new kid made us do it?

The weird one

we never should have brought here?

He'll take my gauntlet from me!

The same way you took

everything from me last time.

Ridley

[Ridley grunts]

[automated voice]

Unauthorized glitch detected.

Well, this time,

I'm taking something from you.

[automated voice] Warning.

Containment breach.

Oh, nerds.

Ridley, what are you doing?

I got what I came for.

You never wanted to join Glitch Techs.

You just wanted to steal

one of our gauntlets?

Don't try coming after me.

What is going on here?

[squeaking]

-[alarm blaring]

-Hmm?

Huh?

[automated voice]

Glitch containment breached.

Emergency lockdown initiated.

[Mitch] Hey!

[alarm blaring]

Okay, so exactly how charfed are we?

Well, those plixels

are going to reconstitute into glitches,

Ridley is gone

and she took all of her tech with her,

and we're locked in this room.

I'd say pretty charfed.

[Miko] Look out!

[Miko yelping]

[Five] Ha-ha!

[roaring loudly]

[grunts]

[roars]

[both grunt]

[growls]

[both grunt]

Computer! Activate shields.

[automated voice]

Defensive shields activated.

[all growling]

Should have bolted the moment

I got my hands on this gauntlet

instead of hanging around

thinking they'd actually

[alarm blaring]

[meowing]

What? They're professionals, Horn.

It's nothing they can't handle.

We need this.

[gauntlet beeping]

[automated voice] Containment core

overload imminent.

[meowing]

Ugh, who programmed

your heuristics anyway?

I told you we were gonna get in there,

get what we needed, and get back out

Nobody has to get hurt.

[crackling]

Ah, dipswitches.

[laser firing]

Oh, what is going on out there?

Come on, open up, you stupid door.

Hey, hotshot.

You want your top score back?

I need backup.

[clears throat] Me? Back up a noob?

Oh, come on.

I may be new around here,

but trust me, sport

I'm no newbie.

[glitches roaring and growling]

-[thudding]

-Uh, what do we do when the shield breaks?

I guess we fight.

Get ready.

[Ridley] Hey, glitches!

Ridley?

-[Horn roaring]

-Get away from my friends!

-Now, Mitch!

-With pleasure.

[Mitch] Boosh!

How did Mitch do that?

I gave him some Ridley flair.

You guys focus on the glitches.

I'll repair the containment breach.

[B.I.T.T.] Be careful, sir! Slam!

Okay, this is the part where someone yells

"hold on to something!"

-[meowing]

-[Ridley] Horn!

Knew you'd come back.

You so did not.

Well, maybe we didn't, but we hoped.

Friends gotta have each other's backs.

Right?

[Ridley grunts]

[Five] Aw.

Look, I

I'm sorry this didn't work out, Ridley.

But there are rules, and

because the public

can't know about Glitch Techs,

anyone who doesn't make the cut

needs to forget that they were here.

I understand.

[speaking Spanish]

[in English] Isn't there

something we can do?

She can work in the Hinobi store,

or the van garage or--

It's okay, Miko.

I get it.

I'm pretty sure

there's something in the manual

about not almost blowing up headquarters

on your first day.

I can't just wipe her memory.

[Mitch] Oh, you won't have to.

Let me do the honors, hmm?

[Mitch] You've got some amazing tricks up

those sleeves of yours, pumpkin.

But you're not ready to be a Tech

yet.

-[Ridley] Huh?

-Well, don't just stand there!

Do you want me to change my mind?

Go on, scat, you little weirdo.

[Ridley grunts]

[meowing]

Well, Horn, I guess I didn't make the cut.

But I know how to copy and paste.

[chiptune music playing]