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02x06 - Find the Glitch

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Glitch Techs". Aired: February 21 – August 17, 2020.*
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Centers on teens Hector "(High) Five" Nieves and Miko "Me_K.O." Kubota in the city of Bailley, where a group of people is secretly dealing with glitches that cause video game characters to manifest as energy beings into the real world.

02x06 - Find the Glitch

Post by bunniefuu »

[chiptune music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, kiddos! How is everybody?

This is everybody, right?

Uh, you all remember Inspector Seven

from Hinobi corporate?

Do you have some kind of special

glitch mission for us?

This Glitch Tech branch

is being booted offline

while your server is down for maintenance.

What's wrong with our server?

[laughing] Well, it's nothing

to be alarmed about.

[alarm blaring]

-[alarm continues]

-I, um excuse me.

Uh, where are our tech gauntlets?

Safely plugged into the main computer

where I can access

your personal data storage.

[Nix] Why do you need our gauntlet data?

Ooh, you're all going to play a

little game called "Find the Glitch."

All right, open the envelopes in front

of you and peek at the card inside.

Only one card has been

secretly marked "glitch."

I get it. We need to guess

who has the glitch card, right?

Ah, spoken like a true glitch.

[Seven] Ooh, well, the dials in front of

you can be used to direct your suspicion.

-When the votes are unanimous

-Huh?

[Seven] the suspect

must show their card.

[chuckling] Isn't that fun?

[stammering] I didn't even open

my envelope yet!

[buzzing]

Yeah, but you're making that face

you make whenever you get creeped.

Remember our last case together?

Don't get creeped, Bergy.

We can recharge at HQ after the mission.

I am not creeped.

I am simply experiencing

a small peak in anxiety.

[Miko] Who was recording that?

Each Tech's gauntlet is equipped

with a 360-degree AR recorder

that can recall footage

from anything you've experienced.

So you guys have actual footage of every

glitch we've ever gone up against?

We certainly do!

[dramatic music playing]

Zahra, Nix, with me!

Take it down!

-Let's party!

-[super intense music playing]

[growling]

[all] Whoo-hoo!

[screeching]

[laughing]

[heavy metal riff playing]

-Wow, nice music choice, BITT.

-Thank you.

Once the glitch is found,

this door will be open and you may leave.

Have fun!

[BITT] Please begin your investigation!

All right, so who pulled the glitch card?

I don't think that's how it works, Zahra.

[laughing] How does it work now, glitch?

Trying to deflect suspicion, Zahra?

He who detects it, deflects it.

Guys, we have a magic video player!

We can see anything!

Like all those embarrassing noises

Five makes

-[BITT] You sure can!

-Uh

[chuckles nervously]

-Whoa!

-Oh, nerds.

-[laughs]

-[groans]

-Oh

-Uh

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

[laughing] Wa-cha!

[giggling]

Mwa-ha-ha

Huh? Wha Huh?

[Five] Hey, come on!

Miko says a lot of weird stuff, too.

[BITT] She sure does!

O-M-squee!

What the Gorf?

Master of all chiefs!

Oh, shmup.

-Jinkies!

-Deal, baby seal!

Foul thing, I banish thee!

A-ha!

Whoa!

-Ha?

-Boom! Whaa!

[Mitch] Who wants to see that?

[Miko] Fine. Show me clips

of Mitch Williams being crazy awesome

[Mitch] That's more like it.

[Miko] but add fart sounds!

[Mitch] What?

[loud farting]

[exaggerated farting]

[short squishy farting]

[pants-rippingly loud farting]

[quick-fire farts ripping]

[fart montage continues]

[epic fart expl*si*n rippling]

[all laughing]

Haneesh isn't laughing!

[in sing-song] Glitch!

So, I don't find farts funny.

That doesn't make me the

[chuckles lightly] Yeah, okay, okay.

I got the glitch card!

Farts are always funny.

Game over, BITT! Open the door.

I'm sorry, but the door cannot be

opened until the glitch is found.

You're glitching, plasma-face!

-[alarm blaring]

-Okay, what is that alarm?

I think it's the glitch detection system.

They did say the server was down.

What if "Find the Glitch"

isn't a game after all?

But that would mean one of us

was actually a

[man] Who knows what really happens

when a video game starts to glitch?

Here come the Glitch Techs

They know what to do ♪

They got the tech

They got the moves ♪

Glitch Techs

They're the wrecking crew ♪

They'll solve the problem ♪

Glitch Techs

When a glitch is loose ♪

They'll wipe them out

Old school or new ♪

Glitch Techs

Always coming through ♪

To solve the problem ♪

Glitch Techs

Whoa-oh! ♪

Glitch Techs! ♪

Yeah! ♪

[alarm continues]

Hold on. One of us

may be an actual glitch?

Nobody in this room is a glitch.

I mean, what are the odds

of a glitch getting loose

in headquarters to begin with?

[Seven] This store did suffer

a recent glitch attack

during a public gaming event.

[clanking]

[Miko] Look out!

[automated voice] Glitch corruption has

reached critical levels.

You think?

I mean, this week?

Yeah, if one of us was a glitch,

we could detect them with our gauntlets.

Uh, yeah, but you know, our gauntlets

don't always work the way we want them to.

[monitor chimes]

Why won't our emitters have any effect?

My emitter isn't having any effect.

Our emitters don't have any effect.

[automated voice]

Hardware is incompatible.

But our gauntlets

don't get much signal out here.

My scanner lost the signal.

[breaking up] I'm losing your signal.

The gauntlet signal's weak.

Ugh! Nothing's working.

[Miko groaning]

[Haneesh] Wow. Uh, maybe

we should have gotten

an extended warranty on those things.

But how can one of us be a glitch?

Uh, you've got a straight-up processor

between your ears, my dude.

Five knows all about that.

An ultrarare glitch nested in

his buddy's brain this summer.

Didn't it, Five?

[screaming]

Oh, nerds!

[yelps] Casino!

[bystander] Whoa!

[Casino] Whoa! I'm okay!

-What?

-[Five] Uh, well

I don't know how to tell you this, but

Is there something on my face?

[Mitch] And every Tech knows that whoever

gets too close to a possessor glitch

can become possessed themselves.

Smash it up.

Ooh! You know it, buddy! Whoo-hoo!

[Five scoffs] Look,

if you wanna show clips,

have BITT show everyone the time

that copycat glitch made a copy of you!

[Miko] Yeah! How do we know other Mitchy

clones aren't sneaking around?

[all] Yeah!

Mitch Techs, Glitch Techs.

I am the Mitch you remember!

Clones are just backups restored from

the memories of the original hosts!

Nice try, but that copycat glitch

made clones of everyone, remember?

Come on, Five.

[Bergy] I wish I was my clone.

Not to brag,

but he was so good at dancing.

-You've been quiet, Nix.

-So?

I wonder what suspicious clips

of you BITT could show us.

All eyes on you, champ.

[Haneesh scoffs] "All eyes on you," huh?

Hmm, weird taste in furniture.

[Haneesh] I mean, who says

"Weird taste in furniture?"

Hey, I, uh, think you mean my sub?

[Haneesh] Oh, so it's your sub?

Saved our skins back there, rooks. Thanks.

[Haneesh] See? What was that? I'm sorry.

This investigation is going nowhere.

[Nix] Yeah. Nice try, man.

Hey, what if the glitch is someone

on senior staff, like Phil?

[Zahra] Phil isn't even in this room,

you guys.

Besides, if we're nominating glitches,

I'm still gonna cast my vote for Haneesh.

[Haneesh] What? BITT, show me one time

I've ever done anything glitchy

[BITT] Now loading!

'Sup, Five. 'Sup, Miko.

Watch out. I'm gonna flash ya!

Ha! I'm just kittens.

[Haneesh] That doesn't count!

I was kittens!

If anyone's hiding something, it's Zahra.

[Zahra] What could I

possibly have to hide?

[BITT] Now loading!

Speaking of Five

Are you and he, like, partners,

or are you, like, "partners" partners?

[Five] What's up, partner?

Oh! Hey, yeah, what's up?

Um, I can't stay to talk.

I left my car in my wallet.

"Car in your wallet"?

Ugh! What is your glitch, Zahra?

Just go and talk to the dude.

[Zahra] Okay,

I really do not like this game.

[Bergy] Hey, what if I was the glitch,

you guys?

[all] No way! No way!

[Bergy] But think about it.

I can never be caught off guard

-[Bergy] Hey, Five!

-[Five] Ahh!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Bergy.

I didn't mean to do that.

Do what?

[Bergy] I've got glitch-like reflexes

I got your back, buddy!

[grunting and yelling]

[Bergy] And I'm fearsome in battle

Hey, Miko, wanna play

sorcery cards with me?

But I've gotta warn ya, I've built

a pretty mean swamp deck. [chuckles]

[Bergy] Okay, so maybe Nix is the glitch.

-[Nix] Come on!

-[Miko] Forget about the glitch.

I wanna see BIT

take clips from our lives

and edit them into, like,

a television sitcom opening!

[melodramatic music playing]

Sometimes life is topsy-turvy

And ya need a friend ♪

We'll be there, no need to worry ♪

And we'll win in the end! ♪

We're Glitch Techs

Breakin' the rules ♪

We're Glitch Techs ♪

Wreckin' the fools ♪

When things get glitchy ♪

We'll come through ♪

'Cause takin down glitches

Is what we do ♪

We're Glitch Techs! ♪

[man vocalizing]

[all laugh]

[Nix] Hey, uh, I work here, too, you know!

Oh, yeah, and Nix ♪

[all laughing]

[Haneesh] Oh, wait, wait, wait.

BITT, so if you can do that,

like, can you do something

where you take all our words out

and replace them with kitty cat sounds?

[all laughing]

[BITT] Now loading!

[meowing repeatedly]

[meowing continues]

[meowing continues]

[Mitch] Look,

we're getting off topic here.

[Zahra] BITT, if you can do all that,

I say you take a whole mess of rando clips

and skrush 'em all together

in one big video mashup!

[Haneesh] Yeah, with, uh, chipmunks!

[Nix] And food!

[Miko giggling] And a walrus!

[BITT] Now loading!

[Miko groaning]

Man.

Slow days are so slow.

[dialog playing backwards]

Man.

[groaning]

Let's speed this up.

[talking at chipmunk speed]

What game are you guys playing?

Board game based on a video game,

based on a movie, based on a cartoon,

based on a movie, based on a board game,

based on a cartoon,

based on a movie, based on a video game,

based on a movie, based on a cartoon.

Want a cookie?

Based on a movie, based on a board game,

based on a cartoon.

Like a cookie?

Finding my breakfast.

Cart in my breakfast.

And, Miko, check it out.

I'm made of breakfast.

Since our usual raid leader

is dying, apparently

I'm dying?

[BITT] Technically, all humans are!

[speaking gibberish]

[distorted] Technically, all humans are!

And to think, I knew you

before you were a walrus!

-Oh, Five! You guys are chipmunks!

-[chipmunks squeaking]

I mean, could this day get any cooler?

[Mitch] Wait, wait, please wait!

Aren't we all forgetting the fact

that one of us might actually be a glitch?

[Miko] Boring.

Hey, you guys ever wonder how many times

we've actually said the word "glitch"?

[BITT] Now loading!

Glitch. Glitch. Glitch. Glitch. Glitch.

Glitch. Glitch. Glitch. Glitch.

[repeatedly] Glitch. Glitch. Glitch.

[Five] Wait, put a beat on that!

-[hip hop beat playing]

-[all repeatedly] Glitch. Glitch. Glitch.

Glitch! Glitch! Glitch! Glitch!

[all repeating to the beat]

Glitch. Glitch. Glitch. Glitch. Glitch.

[Zahra] Make it metal!

-[heavy metal music playing]

-[repeating] Glitch. Glitch. Glitch.

[Bergy] Um, can you make it poppy?

-[pop music playing]

-[repeating] Glitch! Glitch! Glitch!

[Nix] No, no, no. Make it sick!

-[dubstep music playing]

-[repeating] Glitch! Glitch! Glitch!

[Mitch] Wait a minute.

Guys.

Guys! Stop it!

That is enough!

We may be locked up

in this room with a glitch.

Have all of you forgotten

what glitches are?

[roaring]

[Mitch] They're destructive.

They're relentless.

[Bergy yelping]

[Mitch] They are monsters!

[Five] Mitch, aren’t you

being a little paranoid?

[Mitch] Oh, do you think so, newbie?

Well, maybe we should be taking

another look at you.

-[all] What?

-Me?

Come on, Mitch. High Five is a glitch?

[chuckles]

-Have you ever met the dude?

-[monitor chiming]

Calibration is

my third-favorite tutorial step,

after axis options and button assignment.

-[announcer] Give it up for High

-Five.

He sprinkles and unleashes

his power combo, the triple chop!

Five's got your back.

I shall be the eyes

in the front of your head.

From, uh, the front.

[Five giggling]

[Miko] You don't need to loot every torch.

[Five whispers] Yes, I do.

-Come at me, bro.

-Come at me, bro.

I'm coming for you, bro.

We say stuff like that all the time.

[chuckles]

I'm k*ll, uh, chill. Uh uh, cool.

[muttering]

It can't hurt. [yelps]

[grunting]

[blows party horn]

-[roaring]

-Oh, nerds, you're really scary.

Aww!

You complete weirdo.

[grunts]

[all] Five's not the glitch!

[Mitch] Well, of course he isn't!

But now that I've got

your attention again,

we can concentrate on the real culprit.

All this time, you've been wound up

to go in silly circles

while the real glitch has been drawing

attention away from herself.

Isn't that right

Miko?

Me? K.O. [chuckles lightly]

That's rich! Coming from the worst

griefer on the Glitch Techs team.

We're all gamers.

[repeatedly] Boosh!

And gamers play to win.

[grunting and screaming]

-You're Mitch

-Williams.

Mitch Williams.

-And you're not.

-[exclaims]

Nice to beat you.

[repeatedly] Mitch.

-Mitchell.

-Mitch FTW here.

Thanks for the distraction.

Boosh! Boosh!

Oh, boosh!

Boosh! Boosh!

Ba-boosh!

-Boosh!

-[chuckling]

I guess sometimes, I really am afraid.

-[gasps]

-[grunts]

Of having all of you squeaking scrublords

as my teammates! [chuckling]

Fine, Miko.

You can have a go at me all you want.

But we all know how your story adds up.

Miko was one of the only players

to log in remotely to the Hinobi SmashBall

tournament earlier this year.

Five shot her ball into the hoop

for the winning shot that day,

causing a glitch that nearly took

down the entire store.

Instead of being reset

like a normal person,

the weirdo alerted another stooge

-[Miko] Five!

-[Mitch] incited the release

of a viral glitch at the arcade

-Chomp Kitty?

-[Mitch screams]

and infiltrated Glitch Techs

as a new trainee.

We're talking about offering your daughter

and her friend here

part-time jobs in the Hinobi store's

new Technical Support department.

Her first day, she destroyed

the training sim

[wailing]

and hacked into the central computer,

releasing a dangerous glitch into HQ.

Since then, she's nearly destroyed

her gauntlet, assaulted her fellow Techs,

refused to obey orders, snuck unauthorized

personnel onto company property,

and befriended a rogue tech modder

You would make a perfect Glitch Tech!

[Mitch] who nearly destroyed HQ.

[automated voice] Warning!

Containment breached.

Oh, nerds.

Okay, okay, okay. I know how this looks,

but I'm not a glitch, you guys.

This isn't funny.

Come on!

The girl can't be reset.

You don't reset? That's crazy weird.

Everybody resets.

It says so in the Tech manual.

That doesn't make me a glitch!

She's rebellious! Destructive!

Even if you can get past the rest of it,

you gotta admit her gaming skills

are off the charts!

I mean, think about it.

Her reflexes are inhuman.

Nobody, not anybody could be that good.

She's a glitch, Five.

We have to turn her over

to Inspector Seven!

Five?

You're MeK.O., aren't you?

Yeah! And you are Hi5?

What's up, Miko?

Happy first day--

Five! Hey, buddy!

Uh, Casino, uh,

this is my work buddy, Miko.

Hey, what's up, Miko?

You bring your game face?

[scoffs] It's the only face I got.

With friendship on our side,

we are unstoppable!

Take my hand, learn the pattern,

and aim for the guy with fabulous hair.

Let's do this.

And there you go, Geri.

Courtesy of Hinobi Tech Support.

-Dream team!

-Whoo-hoo!

Ralphie's a dumb robot.

You're my best friend.

[grunts]

What are you doing?

What if Miko was a glitch?

What would any of you do about it?

Zap her with your gauntlets?

Not all glitches are monsters.

What about Ally or Alpha?

Even BITT is part-glitch.

All our tech, everything we rely on,

is made from plixel technology,

the same as glitches are.

If Miko can be a glitch, that also means

glitches can be intelligent,

brave, funny and loyal.

So I don't need to know

if Miko is a glitch or not.

And neither do you.

All we need to know is that

she's our friend.

Thanks, buddy.

If you were a glitch,

you'd tell me, right?

-Totes, dude.

-[thud]

Oh, good news, everybody.

Looks like we found our glitch.

And here he is.

The little bugger's been gumming up

the works for months now.

[Five] That's the glitch?

Yeah. I'm going to go flush him.

So, why were you keeping us all

locked up in here?

Uh, well, we didn't want to alarm you,

or have you royally mess things up.

[chuckles lightly]

[all groaning]

Miko, I guess I had you wrong.

Nope, you were right.

My gaming skills are off the charts.

Boosh.

So none of us is a glitch?

And by none of us, I mean me?

[chuckles lightly] Oh, yeah. Okay.

Like an undetectable glitch

that can fool people

into thinking it was human?

[chuckles lightly]

That would require an intelligence

capable of simulating human personality.

Yeah! Yeah, I'd like to see that!

So, that's a "no"?

Well, hey, anything's possible.

[chiptune music playing]