[Beethoven's
Symphony Number 5 in C Minor]
narrator: Meet Lindsey Osman.
And meet Lindsey's family:
her husband Dan
and her daughters
Leoni and Honora.
They are a self-described
"nerdy family"
that loves playing chess,
studying languages,
and listening to
as well as playing
classical music.
[cello music]
I mean, is there
a more well-rounded family?
[light orchestral music]
* *
Oh, and did we mention
the creepy old dolls?
[eerie music]
* *
Yeah, it's definitely time
for a death cleaning.
[instrumental folk music]
This is Ella.
Ella is from Sweden.
And she's an organizer.
* *
[engine starts, revs]
* *
This is Johan.
Yep, also from Sweden.
Johan is a designer.
[horn honks]
[door closes, engine rev]
[indistinct chatter]
And then there's Katarina.
A Swede, clearly.
She's a psychologist.
[horn honks]
all: Hey!
[laughter]
[tires screech]
narrator: Together, they are
a team of death cleaners.
Yes, you heard me right.
Death cleaning.
Cleaning out your crap
so others don't have to
when you're dead.
It's a very Swedish thing.
You'll get it.
* *
[bell dings]
[cheerful classical music]
* *
- There's this thing
in our family
that I like to call
"reverse robbing."
It's when someone
shows up at your house
and gives you all the stuff
that they don't want
in their house anymore.
* *
I need a lot of help dealing
with the things in our house
because I have a lot of stuff
from my mom,
and then she has stuff
from her mom,
and then her mom has stuff
from her mom.
I just have generations
of stuff
that have ended up
in our house.
I really want to deal
with this stuff.
And then I also want
to figure out a way
that I don't do the same thing
to my own children.
narrator: While Lindsey tries
to break generational curses,
our three beautiful Swedes
are trying
to break into her house.
[cello music]
* *
- Hello.
- Oh. Oh! Hello!
[both chuckle]
both: Hello.
- You play the cello!
- I-I am.
- Oh, wow.
- Whoa. Oh, there's--
there are three of you.
Welcome!
- Yeah.
Hello.
- Hi, I'm Lindsey.
- Hi. Johan.
Nice to meet you.
- Hi, Johan.
Nice to meet you.
- And I'm Ella.
- Hi, Ella.
- Hi, Ella.
- We'll help you.
- Nice to meet you.
- [giggles]
Hello. I love that music.
I'm Kat, by the way.
- Hi, Kat. Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, let me put this away.
- Don't stop playing.
[laughter]
- You know, I play the violin.
- [gasps] You do?
- You do?
I didn't know that. Wow.
- I do. I know.
- We have a few spare violins
around here...
- Oh, really?
- That you can probably
look at.
[all chuckling]
- Thank you for inviting us.
So...
- Thank you.
- Why are we here?
- I need some help.
- Yeah?
[laughter]
- I need a lot of help dealing
with the things
that are from my mom.
- Mm-hmm. Okay.
- So my mom is still with us,
thank goodness...
- Mm.
- But she lives
in a nursing home now.
And so when she went
into a nursing home,
and, honestly,
even before that...
- Yeah.
- Like, we got
all of her stuff.
- Ah.
- A lot of the stuff
in the house
is here because my mom asked us
to put it in it.
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
- And in some ways,
it doesn't feel
like it's our house.
It feels
like it's my mom's house.
- So you have a lot of things
that have taken...
- Yeah, that's--
- A lot.
- Taken more or less
over the place then.
- Yeah.
Would you like to see
some of the stuff...
both: Yeah.
- That's either from my mom
or other people?
- Of course. Yeah.
narrator:
The first stop on the tour
is the living room,
a home to brown walls,
tchotchkes,
and, um,
interesting paintings.
- So in this room...
you know, honestly, I like
a lot of the stuff
in this room...
- Yeah?
- But there are a few,
like, notable-
notable challenges.
So the big one
is this green painting.
[laughs]
- Yeah.
- My mom had, like, collected
all of this stuff
over the years.
- Yeah.
- Like, when we were moving
in here,
she said,
"Oh, you need a painting
for over your mantelpiece."
- Yeah?
- "Go shop my basement."
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
- So we went--
we didn't know how to say no.
- Yeah.
- So we felt obligated...
- Yeah.
- To do it.
- So you have had
that feeling...
- Oh, really?
- That you needed to...
- Yeah.
- Take care of it.
- Take care of it.
- Is that a style,
do you think?
Like, you--instead of removing,
you're just, like,
kind of adding?
- I think
that's a lot of what I've done.
- Okay.
- All right?
So when I've been given things,
I just kind of,
um, like, accept
that I have to have it.
- Yeah?
- And then I roll with it.
But this is my favorite.
This is one
of my favorite things ever.
- Yeah.
- I bought those
at a student art show
here in Kansas City.
- Yeah.
- So I picked those.
[chuckles]
- Okay. Okay.
- Yeah.
- But do you like
the color in the house?
Do you like--
do you like the green
or, like, this very...
yeah, brownish clay
type of color?
- Uh...
sometimes I do
and sometimes I don't.
I-I like...
I love moody houses.
- You love moody houses?
- Yes.
Like, I love, like, dark things
and so...
- Yeah?
- It kind of gets us there.
- Yeah.
Lindsey's living room
feels like a dungeon.
She has her own style,
but it's been buried
in all of her
inherited family stuff.
And most importantly,
she doesn't even
really like it.
- Okay, can you show us
your dining room?
- So we're through here.
both: Mm.
- All right.
So when we talk
about what in the room is me...
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
- There's almost nothing
in this room...[chuckles]
That--
- Nothing at all?
- Almost nothing.
- We chose the light fixture.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
- There was this expectation
ever since I was a little girl
that, like, I would have
this furniture.
It would go
in my dining room one day.
- Okay.
- And when we were moving over,
I was told to come pick it up.
- So you actually have
dinners in here?
- We do. We have--
we have Shabbat dinner.
Uh, so Fridays--
- What is that?
- So it's--we're--
our family's Jewish.
- Uh-huh.
- And on Friday nights,
we have dinner
in here together.
It doesn't particularly work
very well for our family.
Like, one of the challenges
in here:
it's kind of hard to get
more people in.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
- And it's not
very comfortable.
- I feel like Lindsey
doesn't really know
how to put up a boundary
to her family.
And maybe this is because
she hasn't really looked inside
to find out her own true needs.
- Now, if we took, like
a percentass--a percent,
- Yeah, percentage.
- Uh, percentage.
- Yeah. On the things,
what do you think?
Like, if we have 100,
how much of the things
are you like?
- Things that are ours,
I would say, like, maybe 40%.
- Yeah. 40%.
- Whether or not
of those things I love...
I would say
it's probably a lot smaller.
- Yeah. Mm, wow.
- Like, maybe...
maybe half of that?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Like--oh, my gosh,
I only like
- I love your honesty.
- And that's your style.
- That's not okay.
narrator: And as is custom
here on
"Swedish Death Cleaning,"
our death cleaners
roam around Lindsey's house
and poke around
like that pushy aunt
who judges
how you fold your sheets.
- Wow.
* *
[clicks tongue]
Here's a lot.
* *
Ooh.
* *
Are you gonna tell her?
narrator: Yes, right now
you're watching
a peacock on Peacock,
which we believe is a first
in Peacock history.
Remember where you were.
- Well, I'm gonna tell you
something that I--
be honest with you,
I mean, walking
through this house so far,
you have
a lot of beautiful pieces,
but it's like
a non-cohesive style.
- There are some things
I really love.
- Yeah.
- And there are some things
that have--I've--
just sort of been thrust on me.
I don't think they always play
really well together.
- You haven't chosen it.
You haven't curated it...
- That's true.
- In the way you should
curate it.
Nothing really pops.
- When someone says to you,
like,
"I love you. I love you.
I love this thing.
It's really, really important
for you to keep"...
- Yeah.
- How do you get rid of it?
- Yeah.
- So you have a hard time
saying no, then.
I can hear.
- Yes.
- So I think
the Swedish death cleaning
could help you find a purpose
in the way that you live,
sort things out.
And we will guide you
through this, of course.
both: Yeah.
- But through that,
we have the philosophy,
of course,
that it goes back--
that Swedish death cleaning
is for life.
It's about, you know,
decluttering,
make your space
more understandable.
It's a tapestry
of your self-expression.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I love that.
- And do that for yourself
here and now.
- Yeah.
- This is why we're here.
Yeah.
- This is why we're here.
- Because even though, like,
death cleaning
sounds so much about dying,
it's really also
a lot about living.
- Yeah.
- So like Johan was saying,
we are here to make sure
that you live
the closest to your heart,
to your life--
that you're true to yourself,
true to your daughters
and your--
- Aw.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- This is why we're here.
Because life can end any day,
and it's so important
that we cherish this.
- That really spoke to me.
I'm sorry.
both: Yeah.
- [chuckles]
- Yeah.
I mean, that's so important.
- Yeah.
We-we see this with you.
Like, I can sense
that it's important for you.
- Mm, yeah.
- Of course.
- And we are really here
to support you in this journey.
narrator: It's okay, Lindsey.
These Swedes make
everyone cry.
[bell dings]
[cheerful music]
- Okay, Lindsey.
Now it's time to go to action.
And I have one saying
that I normally say
about my home.
And that is, "My home
is a reflection of me..."
- Okay.
- "So let's make it
a good place to live."
So it's time now to do
the "red dot or not."
narrator: Red dot system.
- So I have a big roll.
[chuckles]
But don't be scared.
I'm gonna help you.
What don't you like...
- What don't I like?
- That could leave your house.
Yeah.
- Okay. I can do that.
- Yeah? Here,
you have a red dot.
- I'll take two.
- Yes. Good, good.
- Okay.
- So just put them on there so.
- So this table.
- This table.
And this, like, thing I made.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- [laughs]
- In Swedish death cleaning,
we start with stora saker,
or "big stuff."
And the red dot or not system
is to make it visual
what to keep
and what to get rid of.
- Don't tell my husband...
- No. Good.
- I think we could do better.
- Yeah.
And the red dot, it means
that it leaves your house.
It doesn't mean
that you just throw it away.
You recycle it, upcycle it,
or donate it.
Is there something else
when we look in this room?
- Not really.
I actually like...
- Yeah?
- Yeah, I like
most of the stuff in this room.
- Yeah.
narrator: Um, no more red dots
in this room?
No? Okay, moving on.
- I'm sorry, painting.
- Yeah.
That could also maybe be...
- There.
- In someone else's home.
narrator: Atta girl.
- Then we go
to the dining room.
- Let's see in here then.
- Okay.
- Yes.
- [sighs]
- You're doing a good job.
And don't think about, like,
Oh, you need to keep it.
Just, like--
- I--okay.
- Yeah.
- Just...
- Good.
- [sniffles]
- That's really good.
narrator: Yes, Lindsey.
- Really good.
Is it--this is
an emotional thing for you,
I really can see.
And why is that so emotional
for you?
- Because...[sniffles]
I--my-my mom really
wants me to have this.
- Mm-hmm.
- [sniffles]
- So you have
that burden on you.
You feel like you need
to have it still in your...
- Yeah.
- Life.
both: Yeah.
- But you don't like it.
- No, I don't like it.
- [chuckles] Yes.
So, like--
- Like, I truly don't like it.
But I feel bad
about not liking it.
- But that's the truth.
You don't like it, so...
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Let your home be
a reflection of you.
- Okay.
- Like--yeah.
- Oh, that was hard.
- Yeah, I get it.
I could see that Lindsey
got very emotional
when we put the red dot
on the table.
Let's go.
She felt a lot of guilt,
I think.
I know this process
can be hard.
But it's so many benefits
when you have done the work.
I think you're doing so well.
You're really doing
a really good job.
- Thank you.
- Putting out the red dots.
I know it can be hard.
But you are really doing
the work, so...
really nice.
But it's starting to get late.
So I'm gonna leave you
with this
and give you a hug.
- Okay.
- Thank you for today.
- Thank you.
- [chuckles]
narrator:
And so concludes the first day
with Lindsey
and our death cleaners.
["Prelude to the Afternoon
of a Faun" playing]
narrator:
It's a new day and a new room
for Lindsey and our
death cleaners to conquer.
And if you've been wondering
to yourself,
"Where are the creepy dolls
you mentioned?"
well, follow us
into the basement,
where, as we know
from TV and movies,
only scary things live.
[indistinct chatter]
["Flight of the Valkyries"
playing]
* *
- This is a lot of stuff.
So we have, like,
my mom's dolls
and some of my old dolls.
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
- They kind of seem
like creepy,
like this one for instance.
- That one's cre--
and this one.
This was--this is my mom's.
- Oh.
- And if you move her--
if you, like, move her legs,
she, like, tilts her head
or something.
- Oh, my God.
- There you go.
And we have a lot
of other stuff in here
that I just don't know
what to do with.
- Yeah.
- Like these two paintings
my great-grandmother made.
- Yeah.
- And I made my older daughter
have those in her bedroom
for a really, really long time.
- Ew.
- And she finally
got the courage to ask me
if she could, like,
please take them
out of her room
because they were creepy.
narrator:
"Hey, Mom, can we take
"the marble-eyed
relative paintings
out of my room?"
- So do you like them yourself?
- No. No, no, no.
- No? [chuckles]
narrator:
Shh. They'll hear you.
And we don't want
to make them angry.
- We have some other stuff
in here.
My mom collected
these antique medicines.
- Okay.
- Oh. So it's old, like.
- They're really old.
They actually have stuff
in there, so...
- Aha. Okay.
- Be careful.
- So it could be, like--
oh, it's a poison.
[chuckles]
- Could--
It could very well be.
- [chuckles]
- Don't take any of these.
- Creepy dolls, old medicine...
- Yes.
- This is where
we're gonna get m*rder*d.
[laughter]
- Welcome.
- Or be eaten by mold.
- Well, if we are talking
about neglect, though,
there's something we should
probably get out of here.
I have these.
- Yeah.
- I don't know what to do
with them.
But, like, all these are things
that, like,
my great-grandmother
made by hand.
- Yeah, that's beautiful.
- Yeah.
- They're all hand-embroidered.
- Yeah,
that's really some work
put into this.
- Isn't it pretty?
- Yeah, that's beautiful.
- But that's
also one of the things,
you know, when you do
Swedish death cleaning,
that you can take
these kind of things
that are important
and also write down
the history behind it.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- And then you can pass it
down, like, also.
- Okay.
- Then it's gonna mean more.
- I would hate
for them to get ruined
because they're down here,
getting, like you said,
neglected.
- Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
- Okay.
- But that could easily be
like that.
- Okay.
- There are some small animals
or something that are eating--
- Yeah, because this
is more or less
like a dirt and nostalgia pile
down here, you know?
- [laughs]
- Yeah.
- It's like this dirty box
as well, you know?
I mean, of course, medicine
is kind of interesting.
I mean, old artifacts are.
But, you know,
are you keeping this
for yourself
or for somebody else?
- Do, uh--do I hear
red dots coming?
- Yeah, red dots are coming.
- Yeah. A lot--
it's a rain of red dots.
- Ah. [chuckles]
narrator:
Yes, please, red dots.
Do your best to exorcise
this basement.
Speaking of small,
crimson-colored circles,
let's see how Lindsey did
with her red dot homework.
- Okay.
I took this with me now.
Let's see
what red dots you have.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Done. So now we are--
- They're going in here?
- Yeah, we are--
- Okay.
- Not everything, maybe.
But we start and see
with the things.
- Oh, okay.
- So let's see what we have.
- All right.
- There we have--
These are...
- Ooh.
- Red dot.
They go in here.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Yes.
And there we have another one.
- Okay, here, I'll--
- It's gonna be full.
- It-it's gonna be real--
you might need
another cart or four.
- No. I can put it on this.
- Okay.
- Like this.
- Like this?
Here, let me help you.
- Yes.
- Okay.
- And we have more things?
- We do.
- More red dots?
There we have a few things.
- So there's
something over here
that I don't know
what to do with it, so...
- Show me, is it--
- This, yeah.
- This what?
- So this is my mom's.
And she loves this.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It-it's too delicate to have
in her nursing home,
and so she has asked us
to have it.
- And...
- And I don't--I don't like it.
- You don't like it.
- But I don't feel right,
like, giving it away or...
- Yeah.
- I just don't know
what to do with it.
- I will come back
with a thing for you.
- Oh.
- And then I will explain how--
how we can do with that one.
- Okay.
narrator: If you're wondering
whether or not
to keep the weird frog lamp
or shoes with toes in them,
this Ella tip is for you.
Dilemma box.
Oh, that one's easy.
- This is a good thing, then,
if you have thoughts
about some pieces in your home
and have a hard time to decide.
- Okay.
- Then I call it
the "dilemma box."
- Dilemma box. Okay.
- Yes.
And it's also limited space
so you can't fill it up
with everything.
So then we can, like,
wrap that up
and put that
in the dilemma box.
Say one month from now
or two month,
I will go back and see
how it feels.
- So the dilemma box
has a deadline.
- Yeah. It has a deadline, so--
- Okay. Okay.
Well, I definitely don't feel
ready to let this go,
so it seems like it belongs...
- Yeah. Yeah.
- In the dilemma box.
- I think so also.
The dilemma box is a good way
to see if you really need
a thing.
You put a deadline on the box,
and if you haven't missed
the things
when the deadline comes,
that's a clear sign
to get rid of it.
- Okay.
- And we can have
some paper and so on
and put that in
so it doesn't...
- Set it right here.
- How do you feel?
Is--you feel okay?
I can see that you are
a little, like, yeah.
- It's okay. I just--
- Yeah.
- It's just hard to know
what to do with it.
But I like that I don't have
to make a decision
about it now.
- No. Yeah.
- Because I--
I don't think I can.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Like, I definitely need
to sit on it.
- Yeah.
- It will stay
in the dilemma box.
- Yes.
- And we can--
should we tackle
some of the other stuff?
- Yes. Yeah.
More work to do.
- All right. [chuckles]
- Yes, more red dots.
- More red dots.
- Fill up this.
- All right, all right.
Here, let's--
- And, here, I can take this.
- Thank you.
["Night on Bald Mountain"
playing]
* *
narrator:
With one dilemma handled,
Lindsey's next dilemma
is figuring out
who's willing to take
the ship painting.
- There it goes.
- Oh, we got it. We got it.
- Wow.
- Oh, hi.
- It looks so cool here
and spacious.
- [giggles]
- My God.
- Look at this.
- Yeah, you can see
the difference now.
- Good work.
My God, Lindsey, amazing.
- Oh, thank you.
- Do you feel
that you can breathe again?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I do.
[orchestral waltz music]
- Whoa.
- Hmm.
- That's surprising.
- That's a lot of stuff.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hello.
[laughter]
- Hi, girls.
- Hello.
- Come on in. This is--
this is my dilemma box.
Come on, sweetheart.
- Actually, I saw
two beautiful paintings
down in the basement.
Who wants them
back in the bedroom?
- [chuckles]
- Is it you?
[laughter]
- Do you want Pinkie
and Blue Boy back?
[laughter]
- We're not gonna put it back.
It doesn't belong in your room.
- No.
- If-if you want to...
- Yeah.
- You can put
the red dots on it.
- All right, I'll do that.
- Okay. [laughs]
- I think that's part
of the decision-making
that we're doing here,
actually.
We're getting rid
of a lot of scary stuff
in this house, actually.
- Like the creepy dolls.
- Exactly!
- Yes.
narrator:
Um, everybody's laughing,
but the dolls
are still down there.
What are we doing
with the dolls?
- Do you feel relieved knowing
that, like, the stuff's
gonna go away
and you don't have
to, maybe, worry about it?
- Well, I'm interested to see
what you choose
to, like, take away
and what you choose to keep.
'Cause I think I have
some different opinions
on some stuff.
- Okay.
- Of course.
- But it's cool to see
what you like
and what you don't like, so...
- Mm-hmm.
What do you think, Lele?
- Um...
I don't think I--
like, before this,
I've, like, really thought
about all-all this.
And then,
when this whole thing started,
and I realized--I was like,
"Oh, my God,
"if this didn't happen,
imagine how much stuff
she's gonna give to me
when I move out."
both: Yeah.
- How did that make you feel?
- Yeah.
- Uh, kind of relieved
I don't have to, like,
take all of this stuff.
Because, like, I know, like,
with some things
it feels
like people are putting,
like, 100 pounds on your back.
And then, when you finally,
like, get to, like,
get rid of it,
it feels
like a bunch of weight's
just been taken off.
- I didn't know you felt
that way, sweetheart.
- It can feel like 100 pounds
on your back.
- I think someone summed it up
really well over there.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
narrator: Did she ever.
Well, it's obvious:
Léonie is a child sage
who just summed up
the purpose of our show
in one sentence.
Our work here is done.
- We're gonna fix it
so you don't have to feel
like that, okay?
- Yeah.
- I do think
that everyone who lives
in this house
should have a say
on the things in here.
Friends or relatives
that doesn't even live here,
their voices
should not weigh as heavy
as Léonie's, for example.
- That sound fair?
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
- That seems fair.
- Okay.
- You know,
you maybe want to test
this, then--those...
Do you want to play the game
like you--
- You want some?
- Red dot or not.
- I'll-I'll take 'em.
I'll take 'em.
[overlapping chatter]
Here, I'll take--
- The whole roll or a few?
- I want the whole roll.
- I'll take the whole roll.
[giggles]
narrator:
Hmm, I wonder what they'll put
the red dots on first.
["Peter and the Wolf" plays]
- Here, we'll put one
right there.
narrator: Yup. Knew it.
The paintings.
Be careful.
Don't make them angry.
- What do you think?
narrator:
You have to cover their eyes
so they can't find
their way back home.
- I need more stickers.
narrator: Called it.
- This doll's creepy.
narrator: Yup.
- Yeah, that doll isn't good.
narrator:
Yes. Get rid of the dolls.
Get rid of the poison.
- Did you put
a dot on this one?
- Goodbye.
narrator: Called it.
- What is that?
- I'm getting rid of this.
narrator: Knew it.
- There we go. Perfect.
narrator: [exhaling] Okay,
good. Good. Thank goodness.
Okay, everyone run.
- Run away, Léonie.
narrator: Run away, girls.
- Run.
narrator: Hurry.
They might chase you.
The horrors of the basement
are behind them,
but there's still
the threat of violins.
[cello music]
- [chuckles]
- Yeah.
- Yeah, it's--
- I could tell.
narrator:
Violins. [chuckles]
Did you think
we said "violence"?
- Okay,
so I have to ask you now,
what's up with you and music?
- [chuckles]
- Is it a love affair
that just never grows old?
- It is-it is a love affair.
- Yeah?
- I, uh...
so the piano
that we have behind you...
- Yes.
- I've had that
since I was, like, five.
I started taking piano lessons
when I was about four or five.
- Okay.
- Wow.
- And then I started learning
the cello at school.
- Okay.
- And I really, really
loved it.
So I was playing the piano...
- Yeah.
- And I was playing a cello
which was provided from school.
And then I don't remember
exactly what happened,
but there was,
like, an argument
between my mom and the school,
and she pulled me
out of orchestra.
What she didn't realize
is that--
oh, I'm getting emotional.
Um...
these types of instruments
are really, really expensive.
And so, like, while we could
swing the piano...
- Yeah.
- We absolutely could not swing
the cello.
- Mm-hmm.
- And, um...
- But that's terrible.
- Yeah, I wasn't
really happy about it.
- No.
Um, fast-forward
many, many years later.
We had an opportunity
where we could get, like,
these instruments
really inexpensively.
- Mm-hmm.
And I just, like, snagged
them all up.
- Okay.
- Because I thought to myself,
I'm like,
"My kids are gonna get
to play any instrument
they want."
- This is obviously
more instruments
than you need
or your kids need.
So doing this death cleaning
is really like
a huge invitation
for you to just pause, reflect:
"Which ones of these
adds to this house,
"adds to my family?
And which ones kind of just
are weighting us down?"
- I like that.
- Let's get these guys
organized...
- Okay.
- Into which ones
do you either use or feel like,
"This is
so incredibly important.
I love this a lot."
- Okay.
- Let's do it like this.
The ones we're keeping
over there.
- Over here?
- Next to the big guy.
- Okay.
- Yes. And--
- And everyone else...
- Yeah. That--
- Okay.
- We'll find a new home.
Let's make them go over here.
- This violin should go.
- Okay.
Then we have the--
is that the little--little--
- Wait, it's probably this one.
- Okay.
We can't even figure out
the cases.
There's too many.
- [chuckles]
- Okay.
- You really had
way more than I thought.
narrator:
While Lindsey prepares
to say goodbye to half a dozen
stringed instruments,
the Swedes are ready
for their cultural ritual
of fika,
AKA a coffee break.
["Flight of the Bumblebee"
playing]
[bee buzzing]
* *
[indistinct conversation]
[bee buzzing]
* *
- [speaking Swedish]
So this is one crowded home.
- Yeah, really.
- Yeah.
- I mean, it was a bit
like a horror move actually,
because it was so moody
when you came in there,
and you just wanted
to switch on--
switch on lights everywhere.
- Yeah.
- Or turn it down
so you didn't have to see...
- Yeah, right.
- The whole thing.
- [chuckles]
- And, also, I thought,
uh, that I couldn't really get
the finger
on who's living here.
- If you haven't met her,
and just walked in by the door
and hadn't seen
who lived there...
- Yeah.
- Maybe you thought
that it was an old grandmother.
[all talking at once]
- I'm so interested
in why she just didn't say no.
- Yeah.
- What's going on there?
- Yeah. Just-just say no.
When it comes to ugly things,
you say, "No, thank you."
[both speaking Swedish]
- Yeah.
narrator:
And with that, our Swedes
work on their other talent--
synchronized drinking.
- And I really don't like
those poop brown walls.
[bell dings]
[cheerful music]
narrator: The next step
of death cleaning
is about learning to let go.
Today, Lindsey will let go
of three violins
and two cellos.
Or maybe one of them
is a viola.
We can't tell
through the cases.
- [chuckles]
- Okay.
This is when you know you have
too many instruments.
both: Yeah.
[laughter]
- Hello.
- How are you?
Tell me what we have.
- [clears throat] Well, we have
a music lover right here.
- I'm Lindsey.
- Hi, I'm Mike.
- Hi, Mike. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- And we're
Swedish death cleaners.
narrator:
It's a good thing, Mike.
Don't worry.
- We're here to help Americans
get rid
of some of their belongings
that they don't really need
anymore.
- Okay.
- And, in this case,
we are looking to give
these instruments a new life.
- Well, we have a charity
that we started
about 12 years ago...
- Okay.
- And it's called
Band of Angels.
The idea was
that we would take
used music instruments
from people
and pair those with students
who wanted to be
in a school music program
but couldn't afford
the instrument.
both: Ah.
- I know that feeling.
- Yeah, so--
- So...
- We've helped about...
almost 3,000 kids...
- What?
- In the last ten years
get an instrument.
- That's so nice.
- That's amazing.
- So now,
thanks
to what you're doing today...
- Yeah.
- That little person
sitting on the other side
of the table
will walk out
with an instrument.
- Yeah.
- Oh, I'm-I'm thrilled.
And what an ex--
to go from a place of being,
like, one of those kids
who couldn't afford
an instrument
to someone who can give
instruments to somebody else
is really exciting.
- This Band of Angels
organization,
it's a good example
how things can come in use
in a new way.
- Maybe we can have
a look around?
Is that okay?
- Absolutely.
Yes. Make yourselves at home.
I'll take that from you.
- Thank you.
narrator:
And now, that part of the show
where Kat reveals
that she was once
a concert pianist.
both: * Hot cross buns *
- * One a penny *
- * Two something *
* Hot cross buns *
- * Buy hot dogs*
narrator: Or maybe not.
- So "buy hot dogs"?
How do you say it in Swedish?
Let's try.
- [singing in Swedish]
[applause]
Whoo-hoo.
- Did you say ketchup?
[laughs]
- Yes, ketchup.
- Actually, it's,
* Buy warm, uh, sausage *
[together] * Buy warm sausage *
- So here it would be...
- Yeah, can you do it?
- It would be hot cross buns.
Well, I know "Hot Cross Buns,"
all right? So...
- Ah, buns.
Like...
- No, no.
- a*s.
[laughter]
Or what? Buns?
- Buns like, uh...like rolls.
Like rolls.
[laughter]
- Yeah.
- We have sausages and buns.
- I know.
[laughter]
- That's a little, like--
- And everything is hot.
- And they're both hot, yeah.
- Yeah. Everything is hot.
And it's, like, yeah.
[giggles]
narrator: Now we take
our hot buns across town,
back to Lindsey's dining room,
where Johan and Ella
are in the midst
of a heated
Swedish conversation.
[both speaking Swedish]
narrator:
At least we think it's heated.
We can't quite tell
with these Swedes.
- Hello?
- Oh.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Keep pushing.
It's a girl.
[laughter]
Come in, come in.
- Oh, my gosh, hi.
both: Hi.
- Whoa.
You've been very busy.
- Yes.
I've been painting it white.
- Okay.
- Because I think
that could be
like a really good way
of...
- [chuckles]
Has she not helped?
[laughter]
- Uh, we are starting
from a clean slate literally.
- Wow.
- It's important for you now
to make this to your own home,
not be a stranger anymore.
And I think this is
a really good way
or beginning everything,
this journey,
just make everything
white like this.
And then we can, like,
bit by bit,
implement our thoughts.
- Wow.
- Are you freaked out?
- A-a little.
But I'm excited.
[both laugh]
- A room full of opportunities.
- Yes.
- Okay.
I gotta get to work now.
- Oh, okay.
both: Yeah.
- You.
- [laughs]
- Get out. Get out.
- I'll get out. All right.
- Get out, get out.
- All right, thank you.
- See you soon.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- You... [chuckles]
- [speaking Swedish]
narrator: While Johan and Ella
continue to duke it out
in Swedish,
Kat takes Lindsey to lunch.
- I love this park.
- It is beautiful.
- I wanted to bring you here
for a little picnic
so we could have
a little heart-to-heart,
just the two of us.
- Oh, well, this is
a beautiful spot to have one.
- Yeah. I think so too.
It's like
a-a-a breathing space.
Like, uh, in Swedish,
we say "breathing hole."
- Breathing hole, okay.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
It sounds better in Swedish.
- Well, how do you say it
in Swedish?
- Andningshal.
- "Amling sol?"
- Yeah. Kind of.
[laughs]
- Okay, well...
narrator: I believe
in English,
we call a breathing hole
a mouth.
- Thank you
for bringing me here.
- Of course.
I'm so curious
about you and your life.
Did you grow up here in Kansas?
- Yeah, I grew up
in-in the Kansas City area.
- Mm-hmm.
- My parents divorced
when I was really young.
- Okay.
- And it was really
just my mom and myself.
But, you know, like, my mom
was in relatively low-wage jobs
and would work extra hours.
- Yeah.
- There were definitely
many, many times
in my childhood
when she was unemployed.
- Mm-hmm.
- 'Cause she just couldn't
find work,
and, um, we actually lived
with my grandparents
for a really long time.
So my mom bought all this stuff
when she was married.
- Mm-hmm.
- And then,
when they separated,
and just life changed...
- Yeah.
- She stored it.
Whether it
was in a storage unit...
- Yeah.
- Or it's--like, was tucked
away in, like, a basement,
kind of like, I guess,
what I do now...
- Yeah.
- Um, for my whole life.
And I was always told,
"All of this is for you."
- Yeah.
- "And you're going to be able
to take it one day."
- Yeah. It's not like these
things are infused
with childhood memories
because they were always...
- Yeah, not really.
- In the storage.
- She has always looked at this
as, like, this is the only,
um, like, inheritance
she has...
- Yeah. Yeah.
- To give me.
- Yeah.
- Like, it was all
she could give me.
- Mmm.
- [sniffles] Sorry.
- No, don't be sorry.
It's very clear
that she worked so hard
and, like, did a lot
of great efforts...
- She did.
- To provide for you.
She had to do
the best she could
with the means she got...
- Exactly.
- Basically.
And I keep coming back to
the--why she held on
to all those things.
And you mentioned, like,
"This will be for you
when you have a house."
- Yeah.
- Like, a house of your own.
- A house of my own.
That was a big deal.
- And in my mind,
a house and a home
stands a lot for stability.
And just hearing your story,
how you kept moving
and living
in someone else's basement,
I think it becomes
more and more clear
how your mother really had
this other vision for you.
What she really wanted
to give you
through these things
were a home and stability
and a successful life and love.
It's like, "Promise me
you will have a good life."
- Yeah.
- But the words from her mouth
were "Promise me
you will always keep this."
- Exactly.
- "'Cause that will guarantee
that I've done a good job
as a mother."
- Yeah.
- And your life today
is the best way to show that.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Oh, you--oh, my goodness.
[chuckles, sighs]
- I think guilt
is keeping Lindsey
a prisoner in her own home
among these items.
And she needs to understand
that letting go of these things
does not diminish
her love for her mother
in any way.
And it doesn't diminish
her mother's effort.
My wish for you
is to be very intentional
on what you want
to give yourself now
as a grown-up woman
owning her own life,
owning her home
and her decisions.
- I love that. Yeah.
Like, I can release myself
from obligation
if I choose to, right?
- Ah, I'm gonna fall
off this bench.
[both laugh]
narrator:
Beautiful work, ladies.
* *
[bell dings]
[hopeful music]
narrator: Lindsey was a victim
of reverse robbery.
She allowed her house
to be treated
like the local
Kansas City Goodwill.
But with the help
of our death cleaners,
Lindsey will soon have a home
that feels more like her own
and less like
a donation drop-off center.
* *
- Hi.
- Hi, everyone.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Hello.
[laughs]
- Welcome home.
- Yeah, well...
- Thank--oh, wow.
[gasps] New seats!
- Yes.
- [chuckles]
- They needed a lot of love.
Thanks!
narrator: Yes, you may not
have red-dotted them,
but Johan could not
in good conscience
let you keep the other ones.
- Oh, my gosh.
[chuckles]
[gasps] Oh!
narrator:
Before we sneak a peek
into Lindsey's living room,
let's recap
what it looked like before.
The room wasn't a mess,
but it looked
like a dimly lit swap meet.
Aside from a few pieces
Lindsey loved,
it was filled with things
her relatives had unloaded
onto her.
- [gasps] It looks so cool.
- And what do you think
about the color?
- I really love it.
- I think, like,
the house before
was very gloomy
in the way that it was
just one color.
When you start to separate
by painting different colors
in different rooms,
you really enhance
the architecture of the house,
and you will see
all the details.
- Yeah.
- And also in this room...
- Yeah, do you see?
- We took away the ship...
- Yeah. Yes.
- Above the mantelpiece.
- I love it.
- And we added
your favorite art up there.
- Yeah.
- So I love those so much.
And I think they look
really, really good up there.
- [chuckles]
- I don't know if--
- With the new framing as well,
because I think the framing
is much better now
and really, like...
- They're like statements.
- Make the art pop.
- Yes.
both: Yeah.
- And now the ship painting,
you know...
- Yes.
- Is gone.
- We've released it.
Goodbye, ship painting.
- Now it's gone.
- Oh, and I love this.
I'll be honest,
I was really worried
about the chess table.
- Oh, really?
- You know,
'cause it's kind of old.
And, you know, it may not seem
that exciting.
And we never really knew
what to do with it, truthfully.
But, like, we play.
- Yeah.
- We play games together
as a family, and it's really
special to us.
- And, before,
it broke a bit the flow
because it was standing
behind the sofa.
- It really did.
- Yeah,. It did.
- And also, it's nice to have
like an old piece.
And it's a bit your style,
as we talked about:
the thing of mixing old and new
in a kind of an eclectic style.
And I think
we really achieved it in here.
- What's cool is,
this room now feels
like it's
in the 21st century...
- Yeah.
- Not like the 19th century.
- Mixed old with new
becomes new.
A good hack to do that
is to unify everything
with a great color.
In this particular case
with Lindsey,
I chose a cream color
because it goes very well
with all the wooden furniture
and the leather pieces
that she has.
- You can really see...
- Oh, my gosh.
- Your things
that you have left now
in the room.
And that's because you did
such a good work as well
with this red dot or not.
- The learning here
is also to use
your new confidence now
to curate the space
the way you want it.
This week, we've given Lindsey
the foundation
of how a house
or a home can be.
But we also left room
for her to evolve.
- I think it's time now
to see your dining room.
- Yes.
- Okay, yeah.
- Are you ready?
- I think so.
All right.
- Get yourself sorted.
- Get myself sorted. Okay.
Shall I look down?
- No.
- [chuckles]
- You can--
- Oh! [gasps]
- Come here.
- Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my--oh, my gosh!
narrator: Let's rewind
back to Lindsey's
old dining room.
Some might have described it
as mid-century modern
meets the Great Depression.
- It's sexy.
[laughter]
- Yes. That's a good word.
- Oh, the floor is different.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Oh, my gosh,
everything's different.
- New carpet.
- I am sho--
it is so beautiful.
[gasps]
Oh, and you found a place
for my--oh, my mom's vase.
- Yes.
both: Yeah.
- The--from the dilemma box,
you know.
- Yeah.
- Sometimes a item like
this vase was a dilemma,
but we saw
that in a new content,
that it could be
something new for her.
So we gave it a new chance
in this room instead.
And it turned out well.
- Aw.
- And also you have art.
- Yes.
And how do you feel now
in this new dining table
and the other one is gone?
You know, I know you had
a really hard time
putting the first dot
on that one.
- This feels so much better.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- It feels--
it's like a dream, right?
It's, like, what I would want.
both: Yeah.
- Oh, it's our rocks!
[laughter]
Oh, my gosh.
- Yeah.
- Oh, the girls
are gonna lose their minds.
[chuckling]
both: Hey!
narrator: Oh, wow,
the death cleaners
got Lindsey
a whole new family.
- Hello.
- Hi, girls.
narrator: Oh, wait,
these are the same people.
Never mind.
- What do you think?
- Wow.
- Very different.
[laughter]
- What do you think,
sweetheart?
[laughter]
Do you like it? Like...
Is that--
is that good shock, I hope?
Yeah?
- Her face represents
the drama.
- I was definitely not
expecting this.
- Yeah.
[both laugh]
- Very different.
- I'm so glad
you guys like this.
narrator: The next stop
on this tour is the basement.
If you remember,
the basement was a junkyard:
a land of forgotten items,
haunted dolls,
and antique tins
of medicine...
[clears throat] Poison.
[coughs]
- Whoa.
- Oh, my gosh.
- It's empty.
- Whoa.
- Whoa.
[upbeat music]
* *
- It is empty.
- With storage!
- With storage.
- How is this--wha--
- Oh, my gosh.
- Hey, I have tools!
- They were just in a big pile.
- It's a difference?
- Look, I have a countertop.
- It's very different.
- Yeah.
It's really big now
when you have taken out
the other things.
- This is so great...
- Yeah.
- To have
actual organized--
- Oh, yeah.
- And look
where the luggage is.
That's a great plan.
- Yeah, the luggage.
Yes. Exactly.
'Cause we don't need it
that often.
- And then you have
the plastic bins here also.
- You can see.
- You can see
what you have in them...
- Okay.
- And so on.
So here you can--
an extra space then,
as I told you as well.
Let that shelf be,
like, the limit.
What fits in here is okay--
- Is what you keep.
- I-I think
that's such a good thing,
you know, that have a limit.
You know, you can't fill
this shelf with more
or the bins with more.
If there's, like,
too much in them,
you need to get rid of stuff.
- You've gotta take it out.
- I think
that's a good practice.
- Yup.
It's so easy
to fall back in bad habits.
That's why we say
death cleaning is for life.
It's a practice.
- Will you come back
if we disorganize it, though?
- Yeah. We will haunt you.
- Yes.
narrator:
Please don't joke, Ella.
This family
has been haunted enough.
[bell dings]
[jaunty waltz music]
narrator:
Lindsey and her family
are hosting
their first Shabbat dinner
in their new and improved
dining room.
- Why don't you take the wine?
- Ah, that I can do.
Absolutely. [chuckles]
narrator:
And for our death cleaners,
it's their first Shabbat ever.
- So what's this?
both: Kugel.
- Kugel.
- Kugel?
Isn't kugel, like,
one of those training...
[laughter]
narrator: Mm, the exercise
you're thinking of
does not involve arm work.
- Surprise!
- Oh, my gosh.
- [hums]
It was a bit of a challenge
to actually do
a kosher smorgasbord,
but we succeeded.
So there it is.
Our little smorgasbord.
- It smells like Sweden.
[laughter]
Wow, that's great.
Thank you.
All right,
so this isn't a normal day.
It's a special day because this
is our first time in the room,
so...
- Okay.
- Do you want to explain
a special prayer
that we would normally do?
- All right, beyond Shabbat,
we-we would, uh--
we would do a prayer
called the sheheheyanu.
And this is a prayer
that you would do
when you have a new experience,
uh, new guests,
a new time in your life.
And this--I can't think
of a more special occasion
to have the sheheheyanu,
which effectively means
"Thank you for allowing me
to come
to this time in my life..."
- Oh, wow.
- "So that I could
experience it."
Baruch.
all: Baruch.
- Atah.
all: Atah.
- Adonai.
all: Adonai.
- Eloheinu.
all: Eloheinu.
- Melech.
all: Melech.
- Haolam.
all: Haolam.
- Sheheheyanu.
all: Sheheheyanu.
- Ooh.
- V'higiyanu.
all: V'higiyanu.
- V'kiy'manu.
all: V'kiy'manu.
- Laz'man.
all: Laz'man.
- Hazeh.
all: Hazeh.
- Hazeh.
- Well done.
Thank you all.
* *
[liquid pouring]
[chuckling]
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- I cannot wait
to see you guys try...
- Yeah. [chuckles]
Thank you so much.
- And this was made out of--
what was this?
It was like
more like a dumpling.
So is it--
- It's matzo meal.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mmm.
[speaking Swedish]
- Wow.
- Wow, right?
- [speaking Swedish]
- I think I speak
for all of us,
we are also really grateful
to be invited
to your table.
both: Yeah.
- This is a new experience
for us too.
- Yeah. I think none of us
has ever been
around a table like this.
- Nope.
- Celebrating.
- Nope.
- Our first Shabbat.
- Yeah.
- And I actually have something
to give to your girls
uh, that are smaller
than the dining table.
I will go...
- [chuckles] Okay.
- And grab something.
- More surprises.
- Yeah.
- More surprises.
And we've had so many surprises
thus far.
- Let's see.
I think you...
- Oh.
- Should have this box.
- Oh, my goodness.
- And you should have this box.
- [gasps]
- [chuckles]
- And you can open them.
So this is
like a little treasure--
treasure box for you.
It's the handkerchiefs,
like, from the basement,
you know.
[laughter]
- I take it you like that.
- It's so pretty. Like, the--
- And it's a cool thing
to have.
- "Enclosed in this box
are handkerchiefs
"that were made by your
great-great grandmother,
Ethel Leonora Roscoe.'
- [chuckles]
- "Ethel was a couturier
"and made all
of the bespoke clothing
for the wealthy women
in Kansas City."
- I didn't know that.
- "Now these handkerchiefs
are being passed down to you
"as a reminder
of the creativity
and industrious spirit
that flows through your veins."
Aw.
"And when it is time,
you may pass them down
to your own children
to keep the legacy alive."
[chuckles]
That's so sweet.
I'll give your box
back to you, though.
[laughter]
We are just everyday people
who go to work and come home
and do the best they can.
And so you don't really think
about legacy.
But yeah, I guess we do have
a legacy.
Maybe everyone does, really.
We just have to recognize it.
- I'd love to add,
on that note,
uh, that we can really remember
how your mom--
she kept all of these things
with the best intentions.
- Mm-hmm.
She was just fighting for you
to get a better life.
- Yes.
- And sitting here,
around this table right now...
- Mm-hmm.
- Enjoying
this dinner together...
- Yeah.
- It's-it's really, like,
just honoring her struggle
and all her good efforts.
- Honestly,
one of the best things
of this experience is realizing
that my life
is the inheritance,
not the stuff.
The stuff is just stuff.
It can go.
Um, but, like, this, this--
a loving husband,
a beautiful family,
incredible opportunity--
that is what my mom
really gave me.
Well, I found the husband.
[chuckles]
- A toast
for Swedish death cleaning.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- And for a lovely Shabbat.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, thanks for inviting us.
both: Cheers.
- Yeah, thank you.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
all: L'chaim.
narrator: Cheers, everyone.
And so well done.
Our death cleaners
have made Lindsey's house
even more of a home
than when they entered.
But if someone could give us
the whereabouts of those
dolls,
it would really put
our minds at ease.
[evil laughter]
[all speaking Swedish]
- [laughs]
- Yeah. [chuckles]
- Well, shabbat shalom to that.
- Oh, yes.
- [chuckles]
- With coffee.
[laughter]
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01x03 - The Mother Load
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on the Swedish practice of döstädning, where people get rid of unnecessary belongings and put their homes in order.
on the Swedish practice of döstädning, where people get rid of unnecessary belongings and put their homes in order.