narrator: Meet Godfrey Riddle.
Looks like a happy guy,
huh?
Dancing and smiling
and sparkly.
And what's this?
Oh, beneath it all,
he's keeping a deep,
dark secret.
And we mean
literally beneath.
[sinister laughter]
This is Ella.
Ella is from Sweden.
And she's an organizer.
[lively string music]
* *
This is Johan.
Yep, also from Sweden.
Johan is a designer.
[car horn honks]
* *
And then there's Katarina.
A Swede, clearly.
She's a psychologist.
[car horn honks]
all:
Hey!
[laughter]
narrator: Together, they are
a team of death cleaners.
Yes, you heard me right.
Death cleaning.
Cleaning out your crap
so others don't have to
when you're dead.
It's a very Swedish thing.
You'll get it.
* *
[ding]
- So rumor has it some
are calling my basement
the grief pit...
[laughs]
simply because
everything in the basement
aside from a few odds and ends
are inherited items
from my parents.
In 2018,
I got diagnosed with cancer.
A few weeks later,
my father passed away.
I lost my mother,
and then within
weeks of losing her,
I had a major cancer treatment.
So I need help sorting
through all of the muck
and the disaster
and the chaos that has been
my life these last
couple of years,
because when I think
about letting go
of anything
that my parents have owned,
it's hard
because I feel like I'm
letting go of a piece of them.
My brother CJ lives with me.
He's way more apt
to easily get rid of stuff,
whereas I want to hold on
to every item possible.
Even if it's literally
the back of an earring,
it seems impossible to me.
narrator: Sounds like Godfrey
could use some help.
And I know three
helpful Swedes
that are headed his way.
[doorbell rings]
- Hey.
- Hi!
- Hello!
narrator: Time for some intros
and some Swedish hugs.
Hug one.
- I love your outfit
and your glasses.
- Thank you.
- Hello.
narrator: Hug two.
- How lovely to meet you.
I'm Kat.
- Kat, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- And Ella.
narrator: And hug three.
Despite what people think,
Swedes
are quite good at hugging.
- Thank you for inviting us.
- Of course.
Thank you for coming in!
- I'm, like, starting
to look around already.
- Yeah.
What can I show you?
[singsong] This is my home.
- So tell me about
this vignette here.
What's going on?
- So this is what
I've kind of dubbed
my piano of nostalgia
or memory
because I've got
a lot of my relatives on here.
- Okay, that's your mom and
dad?
- Yeah my dad, Cecil,
on the left; my mom, Goldie.
- Oh, they're so cute.
narrator:
And just to be clear,
when he says relatives
on here,
he means his actual
relatives are on here.
- My brother and I are
both named after them.
- Oh!
- Yeah.
- That feels like such
an American thing,
you know, you have like--you
know that you say Godfrey, Jr.
- Yeah, exactly. Yes.
- We don't have that in Sweden.
- No, we don't.
- Really?
- That would be weird.
- Yeah.
[laughter, chatter]
narrator: We beg to differ.
Where would we be without
Sammy Davis Jr.
or Harry Connick Jr.
or Carl's Jr?
- This is so lovely.
- Thank you.
- Godfrey's house
looks perfect.
It's beautiful.
It's pristine.
I love this blue color.
It's very, like,
you say tranquil.
- Tranquil, yeah.
- Tranquil.
- You almost start to think
is there any death cleaning
that needs to be done here?
- But it's a lovely
space out here.
Wow.
- Thank you.
Yeah, I love
that it's really open,
and I love
to just sit out here
at the end of
the day and reflect
on my parents' tree and just...
- Your parents' tree?
- Enjoy life.
I planted it for
my father and my mother
when they passed away.
- Oh, was it a long time ago?
- My dad passed away in
so about 14 months
apart from each other.
- That's really recent.
- I also had cancer
during that time period,
too, so I got diagnosed
literally in May.
I had a treatment
in October, November,
and they literally cut out
my jaw from here to here,
and then the magic
of modern science,
they used bone
and tissue from my leg
here to rebuild my entire jaw.
- Oh, wow.
- And then I had chemo
and radiation afterwards,
so I'm cancer-free up here.
- Okay, wow.
- And, yeah, and I can talk
again and eat and smile.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Oh, Godfrey,
he has gone through a lot
but still has a warm
and such a glad person.
I think it's so incredible
that he's so bright and smiley.
- We need to know from you
why are we here basically.
- Yeah, why are we here?
It feels like it's very
tidy when you look up here
and you're in your place.
- You've fallen for my trick.
[laughter]
It's all beneath our feet.
So my basement, it is full.
- Wow, that's huge.
- Oh, it's a poltergeist house.
- Yes, exactly.
- It's beneath us, my God.
[laughter]
- My parents were married
for 39 1/2 years,
so I've got all of
that stuff from them
and me and my brother.
- Oh, so--it sounds
like it could be a lot
of stuff down there then.
I think we will help you with
that and I'm the organizer,
so I'm gonna help you
with that with my methods.
And I'm going to be
warmhearted but also
give you some kick in the
butt to get some sh*t done.
[laughter]
- We will work out,
everyone together.
We will help you.
- She's more confident
than me right now actually.
I haven't seen the basement.
[laughter]
- No, and you know why?
Because I'm the psychologist
so I don't need to.
- You get to declutter here.
[laughter]
- Yes.
- All right, let's go.
- Let's show us.
[eerie music]
* *
[door hinges creaking]
- The catacombs beneath.
- * Dee dee dee dee dee *
- Yeah, this is gonna be
interesting.
- And watch your head there.
- Okay. Watch your head.
Yes.
- So it is monstrous.
- Wow.
- Oh, okay.
- Yes.
- Yes.
Well--
- Yeah, it's quite a lot.
- Yeah, it is--
narrator: Okay, it's
officially scary down here.
- When Godfrey and his brother
inherited all these things,
they kind of just shoved
everything in the basement
and locked the door.
- It's disgusting
down here, Godfrey.
- I know! I don't use those.
- Eww, eww, eww!
[tinkling notes]
- You're doing
laundry down here,
but you know that dogs,
they don't sh*t
and eat at the same place.
- Oh.
- It's a little bit
like that down there.
- That's so true.
- The cardboard box cemetery.
- Yeah.
- There's like
cardboard box zombies
that's gonna, like, wake up.
- I know, it's--
- But what is a wheelchair
doing down here?
- So both of my
parents struggled
with chronic illness--
- Yeah, but I mean,
what does it do right now?
- Oh! Um...reminds me
that my parents
struggled with chronic illness.
- Yeah.
[laughter]
- Yeah.
- Godfrey's basement is exactly
what happens
when you don't have a plan
for when you die.
Godfrey, why have you held on
to all of these things
for so long?
- I'd honestly like to
say it was my illness.
But over the past six months,
I really just think
it's my fear of letting go.
You don't know what to keep.
You don't know
what to throw away.
- Godfrey's parents
never told him
what was the important stuff.
Therefore, to Godfrey,
everything is important.
- This is my childhood
favorite toy.
I love cars.
- And this kind of item,
how do you feel
to get rid of
that kind of item?
- My brain says get rid of it.
My heart says
keep it for my kids.
But they make toys every day.
So it's really just the memory.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- And that reminds me
I did wanna ask you,
I also have a ton of
voicemails from my mom.
- Voicemails!
- Yeah.
So I don't know what to
do with those either.
- I think that's
a really interesting thing
with technology
how we have everything,
you know,
more in a minimalistic way
that we actually can store it.
That's actually
not like a problem
in a death cleaning way because
you can upload it to a cloud.
So it's about a bit of
affirmation, not just,
like, cleaning up things
and throwing it away.
It's about, like,
affirming life.
We say that death cleaning
is for life.
- Yeah.
- So it's about here and now.
You have a home
with purpose upstairs.
- Yeah.
- But down here, not so much.
- It's a lot.
- Yeah.
No, it's time to free yourself.
A basement is a part of
a house for a reason.
It can really serve
a better purpose.
I wanna redesign it.
I wanna paint the floor.
I want to do, like,
a laundry station
A basement can be cool.
- The best way
to deal with this
is to get everything out
actually from the basement,
like, and start going
through those things.
- I mean, what if I get rid
of something and then a year
or even a couple weeks from now
I need it and it's gone?
- sh*t happens.
[laughter]
- Exactly! Exactly.
narrator: "sh*t happens"--
an old Swedish phrase.
And with that, our Swedes
begin the scary task
of tackling Godfrey's
nightmare of a basement.
[mellow music]
- Welcome to the tent.
- Oh, look at the tent!
- Yes, the perfect place
here...
- How convenient!
- To take everything
out of the basement.
And then after that,
we're going to sort it.
- Look at this guy!
- Oh!
[laughter]
- What?
What are you laughing about?
This is the proper
dress for this.
narrator: Johan looks like a
Swedish Super Mario brother.
- Let me see.
What says?
"Have no fear,
the Swede is here."
- Yay!
[video game blipping]
Thank you!
I love it!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
narrator: The dungeon
in Godfrey's castle
is scarier than anything
Mario ever had to deal with.
- The first step is
to empty the basement.
We also need to
clean the basement.
It's a lot of spindlar.
[laughs]
Spiders.
Oh, look here!
[laughs]
- Lucky for us, we've enlisted
Godfrey's friends
and his brother CJ to help
us clear out the grief pit.
- Hi!
- Hi, nice to meet you!
- Nice to meet you.
- It's so good with extra help.
[laughter]
We have some work to do now.
We are empty the whole
basement now from all the boxes
and things down there.
So washing machine you
can--you can leave there.
But other things
are going up here.
- Let's get to work!
- Yeah!
- Let's get to work!
We can go now.
Come on!
- Godfrey has a lot of friends.
And that's really good,
because whenever a person's
been through trauma,
one of the most important
things that we can do
to help this person
back on their feet again
is activating their
social support system.
- You see that it's a lot
of things to carry up.
So smart way to do it
I think is like
we build like
a little factory almost
instead of running
up and down in the stairs.
- Organizational
genius right here, yes.
- Well, I will go up.
I trust you now.
[laughs] Good, good!
Let's do this!
- Okay.
- Okay?
- Okay, we're trying it out.
- I support this.
- The first one.
Thank you!
- And we're just taking
everything, so all the boxes.
- It's a lot of dust.
- A lot of dust.
- This is a lot better
than going up and down.
- Ugh. It's books, yeah.
- Whenever
it's something heavy,
I just think to myself,
we love Godfrey!
We love Godfrey!
[laughter]
narrator: Okay, guys,
let's speed this up,
get some more people
in there...
and we are...
done.
- I can't believe
all that was downstairs!
- It's quite a lot.
- Do we just light
a match now, or--
[laughter]
narrator:
Okay, no more laughter.
Let's get rid of the friends.
Godfrey needs to
get down to work.
- The things you want to keep,
we will put on this table.
So let's make clear this space
and put it somewhere else.
[laughter]
- Yeah, let's start with this.
- Perfect.
- Oh, what is this?
- Thank you.
- Cooking is done.
- Oh!
[laughs] It's a gift
I gave to my mom.
I think it's
garbage now, sadly.
- Yeah.
- These items?
- This was my mom's.
- Oh!
- Yellow was her
favorite color.
- Oh, really?
Like, if it really makes you
feel close to your mom,
like, we could definitely make,
like, I don't know, a box of--
- Yeah, like,
just a few things.
- So you can go
there on purpose.
And like, Mom, I want
to be close to you, like--
- I call that
a just-for-me box.
A just-for-me box
is a box for you.
So there you can
save things that you
just want for yourself.
And when you die,
someone can throw it away.
- So it's a keeper.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Yeah, so let's keep going.
- Oh, this is the hard stuff.
- And why is that?
- Because me and my mom
used to love to cook.
- Ah, together.
- Yeah, yeah.
And she taught me all
of our family's recipes,
so they're all in my head.
- Ah, I get it.
- So when I cook with things
that she and my grandmother
used, I remember them.
- What about this?
It's a pot.
- Yeah, let's keep that.
- Yeah?
- [gasp] Keep!
This is funny to me.
I would like to keep it.
- Yeah?
- [laughs]
Could always
use a good mitten!
- This is not going very well.
- [gasps] The masher!
- Do you have another masher?
- Not like this one.
narrator: Hm, not sure if
Godfrey quite gets the point
of death cleaning.
This is like a yard sale
where you show up
and the owner claims,
sorry, nothing's for sale.
- This is hard.
- Yeah?
- 'Cause I don't need it,
but my father
used to make breakfast
every weekend, and this is what
he would make bacon in.
- Yeah?
We have not gotten
rid of anything.
- That's so pretty.
- This is a definite keep.
My dad played
chess all the time.
[gasps] And I've been
looking for a way
to remember him more,
so this would be awesome.
- Yeah.
- Keep or go?
- Keep.
Keep.
Keep. Absolutely.
- Keep.
Keep.
Keep. Keep. Keep.
Godfrey, what are you doing?
- Hello?
- [laughs]
- Yeah, he's a bit
problematic, but still...
So keep or--
[laughter]
narrator: If you're keeping
score at home,
so far Godfrey has kept,
well...
basically everything.
- Uh-oh, I just reached
back in the garbage.
- You want to keep it?
- I do like it
'cause it's artsy
and it's Kansas
'cause it's wheat.
But I mean, oh, gosh!
I feel silly keeping it,
but I don't know.
- He's keeping wheat?
- Yeah.
[sighs]
- Don't touch that chair.
- [laughs] Why?
Is this something that
you really like then, or--
- Yeah, this was actually
my maternal grandmother's,
and I want to pass it on
to my children.
- Ah.
- But it needs a little love.
- Yeah, it does.
narrator: So with the daylight
now about as worn
as that chair,
let's check in and see
how much of the grief pit
they actually got rid of.
- This is too much keep.
narrator: Ooh, boy!
narrator: The morning after--
usually a time to reflect on
what poor decisions
you made the night before.
And in Godfrey's case,
that was keeping everything,
including stuff that
one probably does not need
in this day and age.
[both speaking Swedish]
- Good morning!
- Hi!
- So Godfrey's keeping
everything,
which makes me think that maybe
if he gets rid of anything,
for him, it's like getting
rid of his parents.
- It all kind of
hit last night
just how big of a process
this is.
- Yes.
- And not only is it like
opening up my basement,
but it's opening up my eyes
and my heart to so much,
so there's a lot of work
to do internally still.
- No.
- Yeah.
- Keeping this basement
like you were doing,
it was so much like
a time capsule.
It was frozen in time.
And now
we began to thaw that,
and of course, things will
happen in your emotional body.
- And you saying it that way,
it's like I realized
that I've kind of been living
with a low key mindset
that my parents
are coming back.
So it's like, oh, I've got
to hold on to these things.
- Yeah.
- Oh, wow.
That's so profound
that you felt that.
- Yeah.
- Oh, wow.
It can be overwhelming to do
this kind of intense cleaning.
Why don't you and I
go in and just,
like, take a break
to reflect a bit?
- Yes, do that.
See you later.
- Enjoy!
[laughter]
- Yeah.
- Okay.
* *
- So I was thinking,
if you wanted
to show me some baking--
Essentially,
it's about remembering
what's closest to your heart--
for example, with your mom,
that you love to connect
with her in the kitchen.
- Yeah.
- Was there something
that you particularly
liked to bake with her?
- Gosh, brownies were
always top of the list.
- In Sweden,
you don't do brownies.
- Oh?
- Like, it's so American to me.
And I would love to, like,
try proper American brownies.
- I would love to
treat you to one.
- Let's do it!
- Excellent!
narrator: Amazing from-scratch
homemade brownies,
here we go!
- And that's it?
narrator: Oh, it's just
a box of brownie mix.
- The whole thing goes in.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, there is no--
- That's so easy. Wow.
- Isn't it? Yeah.
narrator: Yes, Kat, in Sweden,
you use the metric system.
But here in America,
we use the dump system.
Dump in a box of brownie
mix and a bit of oil,
and there you go!
- Thanks for sharing your
just very recent thoughts
on everything in the process.
- Of course.
- Yeah, I can only imagine
what this must be like for you.
- It is a lot.
- Mm.
It must have been so--
like, so dense,
and all of those losses
while you were still
battling your own.
- Who has all of those
things hit in that density?
It feels like I kind
of fell off a cliff
into a pit of really bad luck.
And I feel like I'm
finally clawing myself out
after the past six months,
but it's been exhausting.
Yeah, it's--I'm
trying not to cry.
- No, it's fine.
- I know.
- You know, actually,
I'm happy you said that--
like, I'm trying not to cry.
I've noticed a lot
of Americans that I talk to
say that phrase.
And my clients in Sweden
never say that phrase.
I don't know why.
Emotions need motion.
Those emotions just want
to be seen and heard.
So crying, it's--like,
that's the healing sometimes.
- Mm-hmm.
- I was also thinking
about the basement...
- Mm-hmm?
- And going
through everything.
How do you feel that connects
to your grieving process?
- It's another reminder
that they're not here.
'Cause if they
were alive, I mean,
those things would
be with them.
Even just seeing my
mother's yellow scarf
and just remembering
how funny I thought it was,
'cause she was like,
I just love this yellow scarf!
But now, seeing that scarf,
and seeing that coat,
and finding
my father's chess set,
it's like getting rid of them--
like, getting rid
of those things.
Even that slip
in phrasing shows
it just feels like
it's getting rid of them.
I just miss them.
- Mm.
- It's really...
I just really wish I could
give my dad one more hug.
- Oh.
- And be frustrated that
my mother is calling me
right at 5:00 just to
check in
and to hear her voice
and to hear my dad's
corny jokes--
I would give everything
just to be able to hug them
one more time.
- Oh.
Of course.
- And just to tell them
how I'm doing, because
I know they don't
want me to be sad.
And I know they don't want
me to be stuck in the moments
that I lost them.
But it's so hard
to move forward
because I feel like
I'm abandoning them
if I don't stay.
And if I--if I
do go on to have
a happy life without them,
it just feels like a betrayal.
- A betrayal.
- And I don't--
I don't want to
do that to them.
- No.
- But I don't know--
I don't know what the next
chapter looks like without...
without them and in a way that
I can move forward, you know.
- Mm.
Have you ever, like, celebrated
your parents in any way
or had a celebration of
life or something like that?
- No.
- No?
- No.
I celebrate them in small
ways when I really feel it,
like going to the museum when
I want to be close with my mom,
or, you know, watching
a baseball game when
I want to think about my dad.
- Oh, yeah.
- But I haven't--
I haven't been able
to celebrate or even
share this with other people.
- I think those kind of walls,
they protect us.
They have good
reason to be there.
But they also keep us
hostage...
- Mm-hmm.
- At the same time.
And I do think it's important
that saying goodbye
to some of these objects
is the opposite of saying
goodbye to your parents.
Because...
- Oh.
- Yeah, they're here.
They're sitting
right in front of me.
- Oh.
[soft laughter]
They are?
- Yeah, they are.
- Yeah.
- And I love meeting with them
and hanging out with them
and talking with
them through you.
- That's funny.
I never thought of it that way.
- It's not about
leaving them behind.
It's really about
like integrating them
in the weave of your life.
Grieving Godfrey
is kind of separated
from charming and wonderful,
like, very happy Godfrey.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
- Yeah.
- It feels a bit like
this house almost.
Like, everything is so neat
and lovely here, just like you.
And then there's this
separation to the basement.
- Oh, my God!
It's so literal.
[laughs]
Wow, yeah.
- Would you like to hug it
out, as you say in the US?
narrator:
What a beautiful moment.
And it begs the bigger
question--
what's going on
with those brownies?
- Are you ready
for some brownies?
- No!
- Now we can eat our emotions.
[laughter]
Another American thing!
- You're teaching me all
these American skills.
- I know.
[light music]
* *
- [laughs]
- [coughs]
narrator: Wow,
what's in these brownies?
[laughter]
narrator: Let's remind
ourselves how Godfrey's
death cleaning has gone
so far.
- [gasps] Keep.
Keep.
Definite keep!
- This is too much keep.
narrator: Oh, yeah, badly.
That means it's time
for some tough love--
or in Swedish,tuff karlek.
- Question--why did
you bring me here?
- So here's the deal.
If you don't take care and
decide about your stuff
while you're still
well and alive...
- Oh!
- This might be
where everything goes
once you're dead.
- Wow.
- I would say that this
smelly heap that we have here
is actually a collective
heaps of nostalgia.
- Oh ha!
- You know, like we found
down in your basement?
- Yeah.
- And if you don't take
the responsibility,
go through your stuff,
the day you're gone,
someone will just
drive it here.
Maybe the memory is gone that
you wanted to give someone,
that you wanted to transfer to
your family or your friends.
That's why the work we're
doing now is so important.
This is a real grief pit.
[soft music]
- It just--the thought
of that breaks my heart.
* *
- Your parents
didn't have a plan.
So you're taking
care of it now.
- Yeah, yeah.
- So that's the pattern
you're going to break.
You are the legacy now.
- I'm going to have
this pit living
in the back of my mind
as a gentle reminder
to stay on top of it.
- Then we can go.
- Yes.
Excellent, thank you.
- Yeah.
narrator: No matter where they
are, once a day like clockwork
Swedes drop everything
they're doing
for a truly sacred ritual--
Fika.
- This is not a good
place for a fika.
- Americans collect
so many things.
And like, so much of
it just ends up here.
- Yeah, it's a
lot of sh*t here.
- Yeah.
- Think how many stories
there is in these piles.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- It's like, you know,
we started a bit of this pile
in Godfrey's garden actually.
- Yeah.
- And it's a hell
of a messy story.
[laughter]
- Yeah, it is.
And look, for
example, at that bed.
- Oh, yeah.
If these piles could talk!
- Yeah, yeah, if these piles--
- Mattress, what have
you been through?
- Yes! Talk to us.
- Tell us.
Talk to us, mattress.
[laughter]
I wonder what Godfrey
thinks when he sees the pile
of all old stuff, you know?
What's going to change?
- Otherwise,
it will end up here.
- Yeah, everything.
- Like everything.
- Yeah, so true.
- So you need to do the work.
- There is actually
a fly in my fika.
- Oh, that's gross.
- Waiter, waiter!
[laughter]
[upbeat music]
* *
narrator: It's a new day,
and we can finally get away
from that junkyard
and go back to the yard-yard--
the difference being smell--
usually, on good days.
- The items in the center
are things that I thought
would be worth keeping.
- Look.
- [soft laugh] Aw.
We can re-create this pose.
[laughs] Keeping this one.
- And it's our papaw.
- Oh!
That's a good one!
- Hello!
- Hi!
[laughs]
- You're out here already.
- Yeah.
- How do you feel, Godfrey,
now that you've been
to the junkyard yesterday?
- Seeing all of that stuff,
and realizing that these were
things that didn't have plans
getting mixed in with genuine
garbage from literally, like,
trash collection
is heartbreaking.
And also the fear of the pit.
- It seems that Godfrey
has shifted today.
So maybe he's ready to
get rid of some stuff.
It's time to really decide
what we should donate
and what you want to keep.
- Okay.
- What she's trying to say
is that this is too much.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
In her gentle way.
- Everything must go!
- Yeah.
- Do you guys wear a hat?
- Nope.
- No?
- Not normally.
- Otherwise, we can
also give it to like
a clothing store maybe.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- Oh, yeah?
- Maybe there's collectors.
- Yeah.
- I'm not sure.
- Away. Away.
- Away with it.
Do you like these
kind of boxes?
- These are cool.
They're just functional.
- Okay, so...
- You know what?
I'd say we can get rid of them.
- Okay.
- Away!
- Away! Hooray!
- Thank you.
- This is cute, but no.
- No?
Maybe that one.
- That one I think I've
come to terms with I'm
going to have to let go.
- Yes.
- I would love to
give that to a kid.
- We've been on such
a journey this week.
More than with anyone,
Godfrey's struggle
to get rid of even
the smallest thing that he
inherited from his parents.
- For me, the spoons
have a lot of memories
because we would
go on road trips
and she would pick these up.
- Yeah?
- Personally, maybe,
I would think, like,
tourist stuff on trips,
you cherish that memory
and then you let go of it.
Yeah.
- That's a good point.
- But we showed him that
death cleaning is not
about trashing those items.
- We gotta donate
as much as we can.
It must have a second life.
[laughs]
- They'll find a
new home with people
who can actually use them.
- Us as babies!
- So cute!
- So cute!
Nice to find these as well
in all those boxes.
- And always store frame
to frame, back to back.
- Mm, really?
- Otherwise, you will
destroy the frame.
- Oh.
I didn't know that.
- Are you ready for
your moment of truth?
- Uh-oh, what's that?
- Uh-oh, what's that?
- Why don't we just go and see
what's on the other side
of the house?
- Okay.
- Let's go.
Remember, I'm your friend.
- You are, you are.
- We are all friendly
creatures from Sweden.
- Oh, my gosh!
Oh, wow!
We're really doing it!
Oh.
- Your things
will find new homes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Let's go put some
stuff in the truck, then.
- Let's bring.
- Our biggest
goal for this week
was making Godfrey realize that
just giving away his parents'
things does not mean that
he's giving away the love
he has for his parents.
- [speaking Swedish]
This is called in Sweden,
like an elevator.
- Ultimately, Godfrey
donated 90% of all the stuff
that was down there
in that basement.
- You did so good!
- Thank you! Thank you!
narrator: Great job, Godfrey.
We knew you had it in you.
[gentle music]
narrator: Down in the basement
of this house
used to lie a grief pit,
a dumping ground for
Godfrey's parents' stuff
after they both passed away.
But now in its place--
well, we don't want to ruin
our death cleaners' surprise,
but let's just say it's now
more laundry friendly.
Oh, here comes Godfrey
and his brother CJ.
Can't wait to see
their reactions.
- Hi!
- Hello.
- [speaking Swedish]
narrator: Aw, They even
dress alike.
- I love your shirts.
They look amazing.
- Thank you.
- We're so happy
to see you again.
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.
- I'm so excited
to show Godfrey and CJ
their new basement.
Now it's no
longer a grief pit.
It's a fully functional space
that is much more inviting.
- Oh, my God!
- Whoa!
- Oh!
Sorry.
I have to stop screaming.
- You can scream
as much as you want.
It's a basement.
No one will hear you.
[laughter]
- Wow, I l--oh, my God!
narrator:
Now, before we show you
what Godfrey is happy
screaming about,
let's throw it
back to day one,
when this basement
was overflowing
with grief and stuff.
It was a space that Godfrey
was ashamed of
and wanted hidden
from the world.
But now the only
thing that remains
is hope and washing machines.
- Oh, my God!
- Whoa.
- Oh, my God!
- These look new,
but they're just clean!
[laughter]
narrator: Death cleaning tip
number one, clean things.
- I'm going to squeeze you
so hard you're going to pop.
[laughter]
Oh!
I love--
oh, wow!
- You can touch it.
[laughter]
- I feel like I'm
at a design center.
- And it's still so much space.
Like, you can put out
whatever down here.
- Remember when we
had a pool table down?
- That's what I was
thinking, a pool table.
- Yeah, that could be fun.
- I would love that 'cause I
actually want to be down here.
- As we say,
like, the house is
something that should evolve.
Every room should have
a purpose.
And I think a basement
is a perfect place
for, like, play games.
- I wish our mom
could see this.
She would be shocked.
[laughter]
- And look at what
Ella's done over here.
- Yes.
Here you have the shelving.
And here is the things
you wanted to keep.
So it's all organized.
We have put labels on them.
We have a few here that
you have some space
that you can fill up.
- Mm-mm, mm-mm.
- But when this shelf
is full, it's full.
So let the space be the
limit and keep it up here.
- I love that.
Let the space be the guide.
- Do you remember we talked
about a just-for-me box?
- Yeah.
- Oh, nice.
[soft laugh]
- Lift the lid.
[laughter]
Yeah, here it is.
- Oh!
Yeah.
- What do you got?
- A just-for-me box is a
box that you can treasure
your precious memories.
- My dad's chessboard.
- Oh!
- Nice, nice, nice.
- Yes.
- You can save the things
that you really love
to go and have a sneak peek
when you need.
- Okay, so this is
your new basement.
But there's more to see,
so let's head on up.
- But I have to go to work,
so...
- Oh, no!
- Thank you guys, all,
for the hard work you put in.
- You're welcome.
- Enjoy work today.
And know that
there's going to be
a surprise when you come home.
- Oh, yes, yes.
- [laughs]
- In addition to the
basement, we also
curated Godfrey's house
with all the items
he wanted to keep.
Because in death cleaning,
you don't need to
go and buy new things
to transform a space.
You can just curate and keep
the things you already have.
- Oh, God!
- So here's a shadow box.
narrator: That looks like
the fabric
from that beat-up
old chair we saw earlier.
- The old fabric.
- Yes!
- And it's very
easy to open, so you
can put in a photograph--
- No, it's perfect!
- Or a picture or something
that you want to add.
- Oh, my God!
narrator: Ah, so it was!
And here is the
reupholstered chair.
Cool.
- That's amazing!
- Reupholstering is a great
way to upcycle old furniture.
The chair that used to belongs
to Godfrey's grandmother
was in good shape.
It just needed new
fabric and a new cushion.
And voilà!
A brand-new chair.
- So soft.
- Come and sit!
- Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
My first--oh!
It's everything.
- Yeah.
We have one more surprise.
- Uh-oh.
It gets better?
- Yes.
- Come over here.
- No.
- Come over here.
- No! Oh, my God!
Really?
That's so beautiful!
- You know how we talked about
how you never got to celebrate
your parents properly?
- Yes.
- So we wanted to
throw you a party--
celebrations for
missed celebrations.
We can honor them,
honor you and CJ,
and all your friends,
of course, that helped out
cleaning out that grief pit.
- Yes.
- Thank you!
- So your friends are coming.
We're going to have a party!
- Oh, my God!
Let's do it!
narrator: Ella's going to go
put on her party glasses.
And after a week like this,
we are ready to get
our groove on.
So buckle up everyone.
narrator: Now it's time to
party--
a celebration of an amazing
death cleaning
and also of Godfrey's parents.
- [laughs] Wow!
- Should we open a bottle?
- Oh, yes, please.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's not a party--
- Without the pop!
- Mm-hmm.
- I used to work as a waitress.
I know what I'm doing.
If anyone deserves
a celebration,
it's definitely Godfrey.
There were moments, this week,
Godfrey, that we all thought,
maybe this yard is just going
to be the new grief pit.
So now it's really
time to celebrate
Godfrey's parents
by having this dinner
together with his friends.
- Hi!
Wow!
- Oh!
You're just in time!
- It looks amazing!
- Oh, you are so--
[cork pops]
Oh, yeah!
[laughter]
- Hey!
- The Jasons!
- Johan.
Yeah, it's a Swedish name.
Oh, more people!
- Oh, hi!
- Thank you for
helping Godfrey.
- Yeah.
narrator: Now it's time
for some drinking...
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
narrator: Some feasting...
- Now we can actually eat!
Grab a seat.
narrator: And some
sharing of memories.
- I just wanted to
take a moment
to thank you all
for being here.
It would have been my parents'
anniversary this week.
I am so happy
to be with you all
to celebrate them on this day.
- What was stopping
Godfrey from getting
rid of his parents' things
was the fear of losing them.
[laughter]
What he didn't realize
was that his parents live on
in his memories
and in the memories
that his friends has of them.
- I'll always remember the
first time I met your mom.
I remember her hands.
She would greet you
by extending
her arm out to grab your hand.
When she looked at you, she
looked at you with intention,
and she spoke with just heart--
a really beautiful
woman inside.
You're beautiful
because of her.
- My favorite story
about your mom,
right after our
son was born,
she was just, like, holding him
and like being so great
with him.
It was so cute to see her
with him and you with him.
It was just a great memory.
- That was actually after my
father had just passed away.
So getting to just be around
Jackson and be around you two
meant so much.
In that hell storm of just
sadness and grief,
that was literally
the one bright moment
I looked forward
to that entire day.
And it meant so much to me.
So thank you.
This process
has been amazing.
I've been reflecting
on it every day.
I thought these death
cleaners are going to come in
and throw everything out.
But really, what
I've realized is
it's been way more cathartic
than that and healing.
I feel closer to my parents.
I didn't realize, like,
how much I was holding
on to in those possessions.
And I realize that going
through death cleaning
has helped me bring
them into my heart
and helped me become
a fuller person.
I'm not where I want to be
yet, but this is one major step
that makes me feel like
it is worth getting up
in the morning, and it
is worth trying to just
put one foot after the other.
So thank you.
So cheers?
To my parents.
- Yes.
- To your parents.
- Yeah.
narrator: Happy anniversary,
Cecil and Goldie.
You did a great job.
[indistinct chatter]
[soft music]
* *
- I just want to say
thank you all again.
It's meant a lot.
And even kind of at
the end of the party
I had a moment where
I felt my mother.
- Oh!
- And I could just
hear her laughter,
and how excited
she'd be to be here,
and just so proud of me for...
for enduring.
- Mm.
- I'll never be able to
thank you all enough.
You literally held up the
walls and made me feel so safe.
I could just grapple
with that grief,
grapple with losing
my parents back-to-back
while battling cancer.
I finally feel like I'm on
the path to understanding
and to healing, and I literally
would have never gotten
here without each of you.
So thank you.
Thank you.
- And I have a final thing
that I want to give you
that feels very special.
- Oh? I love surprises!
- We talked--
we talked about
it during the week
as well, about we live
in the modern world.
Things can be stored digitally.
- Mm.
- So this is for you.
It's a small little wooden box.
It says, just for Godfrey.
And inside,
we have a memory stick
with all your mother's
voice messages.
It's also uploaded
to a cloud,
so it will not disappear.
And I think you should put
this in the just-for-me box.
- Mm-hmm.
- And you come down
and pick it up
whenever you want to
hear her messages,
to strengthen you and
the memories you have of her.
- Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Oh, this is the best gift
I've literally ever gotten.
Thank you.
- [beep] Hey, Godfrey,
this is your mother.
Give me a call.
Love you. Bye.
[beep]
[children playing]
* *
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01x05 - What Lies Beneath
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on the Swedish practice of döstädning, where people get rid of unnecessary belongings and put their homes in order.
on the Swedish practice of döstädning, where people get rid of unnecessary belongings and put their homes in order.