01x06 - The Death Cleaners vs. The Sister Council

[bunniefuu]

narrator: Meet Flora
and her husband, Jeff.

And now, meet the problem:

their eight grown children

who refuse
to let their parents

get rid of anything
from their childhood.

Eight kids versus
three death cleaners?

Wow, this should be
a fun death cleaning.

[birds chirping]

This is Ella.

Ella is from Sweden.

And she's an organizer.

[lively string music]

* *

This is Johan.

Yep, also from Sweden.

Johan is a designer.

* *

And then there's Katarina.

A Swede, clearly.

She's a psychologist.

[car horn honks]

all:
Hey!

[laughter]

narrator: Together, they are
a team of death cleaners.

Yes, you heard me right.

Death cleaning.

Cleaning out your crap

so others don't have to
when you're dead.

It's a very Swedish thing.
You'll get it.

* *

[bright music]

* *

- I have eight children:

five girls and three boys.

My kids are now adults,

and they have careers,

and they have their own jobs
and their own places.

But my kids keep their stuff
in my house.

[distorted circus music]

It's a clutter,

messy house.

Books from high school.

Clothes, electronics,
toys, crap.

They do not want me
to throw away anything.

I want to death clean now,

because now Jeff and I
are empty nesters.

And so I'm thinking, "Why am I
keeping this stuff here?"

narrator:
Let's see, eight kids,

uh, let's say


That amounts
to, um, carry the one,

uh...you know what?

It's just a lot of stuff.

Let's--let's not put
a number on it.

both: Hi.
- Hello.

- Hello. Come on in.
- You must be Flora.

- I'm Flora.
- I'm Jeff.

- Come on in, please.

How are you?
- Hello. I'm Kat.

- Hi, Kat. Nice to meet you.
- Yes.

- Nice to meet you. I'm Johan.
- I'm a hugger.

- I have put in my time
to raise you and feed you.

And so, now it is your time

to come and grab your stuff

and do whatever
you want with it,

but not in my house.

narrator:
Right on, Flora.

- Come on in.
- Come on in.

How are you guys?
It is so nice to meet you.

- Wow.
- Welcome to our house.

I'm so excited
you guys are here.

- We're, like, so eager
to look around.

- So which year was this?

- That was, um, 1991.

- And here's a picture
of our kids.

- My God, it's a kindergarten.

[laughter]

- These are our eight children.
- Oh, wow.

- Five girls, three boys.

- Now, this picture brings up
a reason for why we would love

to have your guys' help.
- Ah, why we are here.

- Yes.
- Why you need death cleaners.

- Flora's hair is short.

This was back in 2018,

and she was
just starting her revival

from a battle with cancer.

both: Oh.
- And so--

- Stomach cancer, stage IV.

- Her cancer was terminal.

- And by this time,
everyone was leaving the house,

going to college, getting
started on their career.

And then I had a house
full of stuff.

- Yeah.
- But yet, I was sick.

- Come.
Let's sit and talk about this.

Like, I want to hear it.
- Yeah.

- Yeah,
so I remember being very sick

and thinking, "Oh, my gosh,
you know, I'm going to die

and I'm going to leave
this mess to my children."

- Yeah, it's a burden

you don't want to put forward.
- Right.

And I just wanted my children
to come home,

even if I wasn't here.

Even if I was,
you know, passed away,

I wanted my children to enjoy
the house that they grew up in.

- Of course.
- So we're now,

what, four, four and a half
years out from the diagnosis?

And she's completely free
of cancer.

- Oh, so nice.
- My God.

What a journey.
- It's so recent, yeah.

- Yes.
I was given a good, you know,

second chance at life.

But then my mother-in-law
got sick, his mom,

and we inherited
these 50 years of stuff.

- We've slowly been trying
to go through that stuff,

but, you know,
the kids aren't so helpful.

- How come you haven't
just pushed through

and, like,
"No, this is not staying here"?

- There's a sister council
that you guys--

- Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, what?

- The five girls
are, like, united.

narrator:
Sister council?

That sounds like a movie

starring Whoopi Goldberg
and Judge Judy,

which would be the best movie
of all time.

- Nothing goes unless it goes

through the sister council
first.

- Okay.
- They have rules.

- There will be no voting
during this process.

- Exactly. Exactly.
[laughter]

- And none of us is afraid
of this sister council,

so let them cry
if that's what they need to do

to get over it.

narrator:
Ella will make your kids cry,

and she will laugh
while she does it.

What a legend.

- So tell me about this room.

Who lives here?
- Oh, my gosh.

No one lives here.

- Hang on.
No one lives in this room?

- It feels very lived in.

Like, open this.

Wow,
there's so many clothes here.

What? Look at that crown.

Like...
[laughter]

Like, I would think
this is someone

who is going to school,
like, still studying, and--

- No, my daughters
are 28, 27, 25...

- What?
- 23, 18.

This is adult girls.

They're not little girls.
- Really?

- Flora, this is perverse.

[laughter]

- It is, isn't it?
- Yeah.

- You know,
they have their own place.

- Yeah.
- But they--

when they come for dinner,
they say,

"I'm gonna stay over, Mom."

- They could stay here still,
but without having

all their kid stuff
and, like, girl stuff.

- Like, let's grow up, right?
- Yeah. Yeah, like that.

- Okay, so that's one
of the things I'm hoping,

is that
my daughters understand...

- Yeah.
- That now,

it's not so-and-so's room
and so-and-so's room,

that this is a guest room
for any of them.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, so it's
kind of clear what you want.

Like, I can tell.

- I feel like I'm done
raising my eight children.

narrator: Yeah, Flora,
I'd say eight is enough.

That's why they made a show
about that.

- Let me show you
the other room.

- Okay, okay.

How long was it since someone
lived here, like, full-time?

- Three years.

Um...
[chuckles]

- This is a full closet.

Look at all these bags.
- Wow.

My God.
- Look at this.

- But it's lines
and lines of clothes.

It's just too much.

I think Flora and Jeff--

they really need to get
more firm on their boundaries.

The kids
that used to live there,

they're grown up now.

Obviously,
they don't use this stuff.

- This is, like, a room
that has no purpose, really.

It's, like, scattered,
ugly teenage stuff.

- [laughs]

- These bedrooms
are frozen in time.

They could be updated,
modern guest rooms.

Instead, they're just
a storage unit

for Flora's kids.

- This is our basement.
- Yes.

- Here, we see
some grandchildren.

- You have grandchildren?
- Yes.

I have a brand-new grandbaby.

- Aw, so nice.
I also have two grandchildren.

- Aw. Don't you love it?

- Yes, I love it.
- You love it!

You love it!
- Yeah.

- So this is where
the family hangs out.

- Oh, my God,
it's a spider here.

- That's Fluffy.
- Is it yours?

No, of course not.
- It's the kids'.

- Yeah? Oh, my God.

- Is it dead?
- Yes.

- But why do you keep it?
- Just look at it.

Look.
- Ew.

- It's just dead.

- Who has a dead spider
in the basement?

Gross.

Why is it still here?
- You crazy people.

[laughter]

narrator: Oh,
so this house literally needs

to be death cleaned?

- And this is supposed
to be Jeff's office,

but it's cluttered

with files and vinyls

and computer stuff.

- Tell us about that thing

that looks dead.
- Oh, ew!

narrator: Just when
you thought the dead tarantula

couldn't be topped.

- It's ugly.
- Okay.

That's the answer, yeah.
- That's a good answer.

- That's a good an--
[laughter]

It's a little bit
like the basement

got forgot down here,

I think.
both: Yeah.

- But I think
this is a beautiful house.

This is a beautiful space,

architectural-wise, down here,
if you look at it.

- Unused, yeah.
- Unused for a reason.

Because it has no purpose!
[laughter]

This could be a fantastic house
for a grown-up couple

to receive their families
for big occasions, grandkids.

It's cluttered,
but there's so much potential.

We have a lot of work
to do this week.

- So the next room
I want to show you--

oh, boy--is this one.

And this is
laundry room/storage room.

With cobwebs.
- Ah, I'm scared.

Yeah.
- All right.

This room collects everything.

And there is more
of my children's stuff

that I'm talking about.
- Ah, you have already

written notes on that.

- My attempt.

- Yeah, those notes
are from years ago.

- Do you see what it says?
"Sarah, please go thru."

- Yeah.

- "You know
what will happen next."

[laughter]

narrator:
What will happen next is,

they're gonna have
to deal with Ella.

- I educated my children
at home for many years.

I gave my children
the best education at home.

And I bought everything
for them.

And now
it's time to get rid of it.

- Yeah.
It's too much, I think.

How does this area
make you feel

when you're going down here
doing the laundry

and see all this?

- Honestly, Ella, it--
it overwhelms me.

And I think
with my health history,

I don't want to live this way.
- Yeah.

- I-I raised eight children,
and it was hard.

It was really, really hard.
- Yeah, I can imagine.

- And I don't want
to do their laundry.

I don't want to sort
through their stuff.

- No, of course.
- I want to enjoy my husband...

- Yes.
- For the life I have left.

- Yeah, you should have
your best days.

- Yeah, exactly.
- Like, yeah.

- I want to be able...
- Mm.

- I want to be able
to enjoy my grandchildren.

- Yeah.
- I hate all this stuff.

- Yes.
- I'm done with it.

- Yeah.
- I need your help.

- It's very common, as well,
that you feel overwhelmed

that you have a lot of stuff
to go through.

And it's very hard to know,
"Oh, where do I start?"

But I'm here to help you.

I'm gonna help you
with this as well,

so we are going
to go through everything.

- Thank you. I'm--
- So yeah.

- I really mean it.
- Yes.

- I really, really thank you

for helping me.
- Yeah, of course.

* *

[bright music]

narrator:
Flora and Jeff are ready

to live
in a modern, grown-up home.

They've just got one big
obstacle standing in the way:

the sister council.

- So my five girls,
they're awesome.

They're beautiful.
They're wonderful.

But, boy,
they are attached to things.

This is the house
they grew up in...

- Yeah.
- So they still want

to have things here,
they want to feel at home,

and, you know, all this
romanticism about home.

- Have you heard
of the term "curling"?

[laughter]

You probably know curling
from the Olympics.

You see the guys brushing
the ice before the stone

so they can easily slide it
towards the goal.

Curling is also the term
for parenting in Sweden

when the parents pave the way
for the kids

so they don't have
to encounter any conflict

or take responsibility
of their own actions.

- Curling, for me,
means puking.

both:
No.

narrator:
Oh, that would be hurling.

all: Hello.
- Hi, girls.

- Hi, sweeties.
- Come here, guys.

- Hi, girls.
- Hi.

- We have some friends
for you to meet.

- Uh...
- These are death cleaners.

Swedish death cleaners.

- Oh.
- It sounds bad.

- And we brought them in

because Mommy and I have
a little bit of trouble...

- Getting rid of stuff?
- Getting rid of stuff.

[laughter]

- Wait, really?

- It come to our attention

that you've been
a little bit in the way.

We heard that you're called
the sister council.

- Yes.
- Yeah?

- This is--yeah, we're still--
we're missing one.

- This is gonna be a lot.

- But don't form a pact
against us.

- I don't know about that.
- Yeah, we can't promise that.

There might be something.

- The sister council think
they are intimidating,

but they haven't met
the Swedish death cleaners yet.

When you turn into a coven,
I'm not gonna be afraid of you.

- Yes!
[laughter]

- It's time to go upstairs
and start the work.

Let's go. Come on.
- Okay, let's go.

- The goal of today is
to empty these rooms.

They can keep
whatever they want,

but it won't stay
in this house.

- Welcome
to my childhood bedroom.

- Dun dun dun.
all: Dun dun dun.

- Here.
I think we should start here.

- Oh, crap.
- We do two piles.

- Okay.
- You pick out your stuff.

- Okay.
- Put it in one pile.

- Okay.
- And you, yours.

Now that I have met
the sister council,

I'm gonna put them
straight to work.

- Is there a 14-
or a 13-year-old girl

living in here?
- No.

Okay, I made that.
- Yeah.

- I've been trying
to get rid of it.

- How old were you
when you made it?

- I was in seventh grade.
- Okay.

- When was the last time
you were in here

and, like,
touched these clothes?

- Like, a year ago,

when I moved.
- Yeah.

So I think we should go
through this now

and look what
you really can get rid of.

narrator: With one sister
missing, it's up to the others

to go through her things...
and judge.

- Do we need an "Avatar" shirt?
I don't know what's going on.

narrator:
It's the sisterly thing to do.

- That one can stay.
This one, she wears.

- Oh, my goodness.
There's a lot of clothes.

- Yeah, it's a lot of clothes.
- Yeah.

- These rooms are filled
with kid stuff.

Oh, this one had shoulder pads.
Very modern.

Yeah.
[laughter]

They are filled
with old prom dresses,

knick-knacks
from the early '90s.

I mean, we need
to rid that now.

- My sister gave that to me,
but I hardly wear it.

- Great, donation.

Thank you, sisters.
- What? I like this one.

- No, it's so ugly.
- Do you want

to wear that one instead?
- No.

- You'll take it?
- Yeah.

- Uh...uh...
- Can I give it to--

- I'm like, uh-uh,
what's happening here?

- Do we need the graduating--

who wants to graduate?
- I don't know whose that is.

- I think it might be mine,
but I don't need it anymore.

- You should start
with what feels easiest.

Whatever you feel like,

"I have the least attachment
to," start there.

- I don't even know
where these are from.

- So maybe they're not
that important to you.

- No, probably not.

- Okay.
- They're magazines from 2010.

- Hello?
- Oh, Kristen.

- Hey, Kristen.
- Mommy!

Mom!

- You have to come up here.

- Oh, no.
Oh, what's happening?

- We can't go
through your stuff without you.

- Hi.
- These are death cleaners.

- Do you know anything
what we're up to?

- I have an inclination.
[laughter]

narrator:
With how challenging it's been

with the rest
of the sister council...

- This is not helping,
Julianna.

narrator: Hopefully, this
last member is more prepared

to part with her stuff.

- So keep? Donate?

- Keep both.

That one
doesn't fit me, though.

- Then we donate it
if it doesn't fit.

- But it's really cute.
[chuckles]

- If you didn't have this one,

should you buy a similar?

- Today.
- Exactly, today.

Probably.

- You think you would buy?
- You're lying.

- I don't know.
- You are lying.

- When you sort
through your clothes,

you know the things
that you use the most,

the ones that you pick first.

You also know the things
that not fit so well.

Decide how much you need.

Choose the best ones
and get rid of the rest.

- Is this yours or Gracie's?
- Mine.

Keep.
- Okay.

I think we still need
to go through this big pile.

- I know. We'll get there.

- Okay, okay.
- Shush.

- We don't need this.
- No, I wore it yesterday.

- Oh, never mind.
I guess that's her pile then.

- So whose pile is this?

- So this is all Kristen's,

and then this is, like,
other, like, siblings.

- Kristen,
you have some work to do.

You have to speed it up.

Not good.

- Whoa.
- So that's the keep pile?

The whole thing?

- Yeah, that's
what they've decided to keep.

- [sighs]

We are preparing
to let this room be,

like,
a nice guest room as well,

like we talked about, you know?
- Yeah, we talked about that.

- So then we need to figure out
where do these go,

at your place at home or--

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

- I'm very mobile
in my lifestyle,

and it's just more convenient
to leave my stuff here.

- Or have less stuff.
- Yeah.

- That would be
even more convenient

if you had less stuff.
- Yeah.

[quirky music]

- Is that blue dress mine?

- No, no, no, no, no,
I wore this.

Mom--where's Mom? Mom!

- Why do you need Mom?
- What?

- 'Cause I need her to verify
that she bought it for me.

Mom!

- What?

- I need you!
- What?

- Did you buy this for me?

- Did you hear
the screaming monster?

- Yes. What happened?
- Yeah.

- Did you buy this for me?

Sara thinks it's hers.
- No, I don't think it--

I was--I couldn't remember

if it was mine or hers.
- Didn't you buy this for me?

- That's yours.
- Yes, thank you.

- Okay, you win.
I wasn't fighting.

- Keep or donate?
- Throw it in the trash.

Oh!
- She doesn't care.

- Oh, Kristen, I'm so happy!

This is great!

- Oh, this is Kristen's.
This is Kristen's.

- Oh, her yearbook?
- Yeah.

- You want me
to go give it to her?

- Yeah.
- Yes. This is so efficient.

My Swedish heart is like,
yes, go team! Yes!

- This is your yearbook.

- Thank you.
- Uh-huh.

[laughter]

- [gasps] Kristen.
- Oh, drama.

[dramatic music]

- I want
to tell you something, okay?

- Yeah.
- This is just their clothes.

My girls went through
their grandmother's clothes

and save a bunch
of her clothes.

- Yeah.
- They're still in bags.

- Ah, so that's also more.

- There is more.

[echoing]
There is more.

- You gotta be kidding me.

- Oh, okay.
- [chuckles] Wow.

I have no idea what's in here.

This is the stuff we inherited
from Grandma.

- Is it from your mother?
- Yeah. So yeah.

Many of these boxes, Flora
has never seen the inside of.

Every time a daughter
would come in town,

I would say,
"Let's go to the storage unit

and grab a box
and look through it."

No, they wouldn't.

I've made several attempts,

and I've pulled out
a few boxes.

- And, "We don't have
time."

"We want to hang out
with our friends."

- As an organizer,

to see this amount
of storage boxes hidden here,

it makes me cringe.

In Sweden,
we don't use a storage unit

as a permanent solution.

It's just, for example,
when you are moving

and you need to have the space
for a little while.

We need to take everything
away from here,

bring it home to your place.
- Okay.

- Storage units is like
a graveyard for boxes.

You have taken them there
and just forgot them,

and you're paying to do it.

Let's get to work, yes.
- Let's get to work.

narrator: If you're
keeping score at home,

the death cleaners
are using a moving truck

to move stuff from a storage
unit back to the house

to see if it should be stored.

Soon,
the forgotten piles of clutter

will be presented
before the sister council.

Who knows? Maybe they'll even
agree to throw something away.

One can dream.

[gentle music]

narrator: Rain or shine,
the death cleaners never miss

their one sacred
daily ritual:

fika.

* *

both: Ah.
- Mmm.

- This feels like home.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, exactly.

I mean, I was starting
to miss Sweden,

and then Swedish summer came.

- Yes.
- So true.

- That's so true.
[laughter]

- And you know what they say.

[speaking Swedish]
- Yep.

narrator: Yeah,
that's exactly what they say.

- I do agree.
That's why I'm wearing shorts

and a shirt today.

[laughter]

- How did you feel
about the sister council?

- Oh, mm.
- Oh.

- Packed.
[laughter]

- Packed with emotions.
- Yes.

- It's like strong attachment
to things and to each other.

- Yes, I think they had,
like, a very strange way

at looking at their things.
- Mm.

- If you look into that room,
it feels like

they were still living
in the house

and also if they were


or something.

- And I also felt when
we were in the room upstairs,

that they also
protect each other

in the pattern...
- Yes.

- And the characters
that they have.

- Yes, like hold each other.
- Exactly.

Which I feel is not so...

- Helpful?
- Healthy.

- Yeah.
[laughter]

- Helpful. Healthy.
- La la la.

- A Freudian slip there.
- Yeah. [trills]

[laughter]
Yeah.

- I think they're opinionated.
- Yes.

- Have ideas.
- Yeah.

Like, "Hmm! Ha!"
Like, "Hey!"

Yeah.
- Yeah.

- And, I mean,
how do you break a pattern?

- You get some death cleaners
that do it for you.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

[laughter]

[dramatic music]

narrator:
It's a new day,

and thankfully,
the rain has parted.

The death cleaners are ready

for round two
with the sister council.

My bet is on the Swedes.

* *

- Welcome.

This is the storage unit.

- Ay-yi-yi.
both: Ew.

- Wait, that--wait.
No, what's this?

- What?
- Guys--

- This is not all from the--

this is not all
from the storage unit.

No, wait, no, this is not
from the storage unit.

- It's all the way down
the end of the driveway.

- No, I thought
the storage unit was small.

[laughter]

- We have to go
through all these boxes.

If you want to keep something,
you have your boxes.

So you can keep it.
[exclaiming]

- Look at all those names
over there.

- I don't even know
where to start.

This is stressing me out.

- Kristen, look.
- [gasps]

What?
- Remember this one?

- Wait, I want this one.
I want this box.

- Yeah, there's so much.
- There is so much

in here, you guys.

This is overwhelming.

- How are you, Sara?
How's it going?

- I just don't even know
where to start, honestly.

Like, these are medical braces.

Does anybody want
a medical brace?

How about some medical shoes?
- No.

[clattering]

- I actually need that.

[chuckles]

- Well, so this is not really
going according to plan.

- Who wants
the infamous cutting board?

- Oh, me. Mommy, look at the--
- Ooh, me.

- I want the cutting board.
- Mommy, there it is!

- Honestly,
I could use some scissors.

- Same.

- Like, actually
I want these ones.

- The sister council
wants to keep everything.

Remember, it's limited space
in your boxes.

- And we have
our brothers' boxes too.

They're not here.
- You're a cheater.

You're a cheater.

Not having it.

- I am looking
for one thing in particular.

- Yes? Yep?
- And what is that?

- It's a big metal parrot.

Which one you want?
This one or this one?

- And there's a stand
that they go on.

Here's the metal one.

narrator: These death cleaners
have seen a lot

in their time, but a flock
of decorative parrots

that must be saved?

- I could put it in my office.
- Yes.

narrator:
Probably a first.

- That's my grandma.
- No.

- Mm-hmm.
- Wow. Aw.

Aw.

You can tell, like,
she's adventurous.

- That's Grandma,
and then that's Grandpa.

- Yay. [chuckles]
- Aren't they so cute?

- Do you feel like, um,

you want more things from
your grandmother in your house?

- I do have very specific items
that I love from her already.

- Mm-hmm.
- I think it's just--

yeah, it's like...

it's--it's crazy
to see all of her life,

like, put into these boxes.

- Mm.

- I just miss her.
- Mm.

[somber music]

Yeah.

- [sniffles]

Yeah.

- Of course.

- She's just, like,
my best friend.

- Mom, where's
Grandma's unfinished one?

- [gasps]
No, I had dibs!

- What?

- Mom--
- Okay, I'm not fighting you!

- Grandma's
unfinished artichoke!

- I said I'm not fighting you.
You can have it.

I just wanted to know
where it was.

- What's going on?
- Nothing.

- The artichoke.
- Nothing?

- Grandma was in the middle--
- You were shouting.

- She was in the middle
of finishing a work.

- Who?
- Grandma.

And she passed,
so they are fighting

because one of them want
to finish that work.

- Actually, I feel
like I need a break.

Does anyone else want
to follow me inside

and have a little sit-down?
- Yes.

all: Yes.
- Okay, great.

So let's have Jeff--
he can stay here.

He doesn't even hear me. Yeah.

And Ella and Johan
will keep on working.

Obviously, there is
a lot more going on here

than just "I don't want
to throw out my old sweater."

I feel I really need
to get to the root

with the sister council
and their mother.

What's going on here?

So we really kickstarted
the death cleaning now.

- Yeah.
- And it's been a long day.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

It has been intense for me,

so then I only imagine

what it must have been like
for you guys.

* *

So I, like, just want to say
that I have a lot of respect

that, like, there could be,
like, different journeys

going on
during a day like this.

It may be very different
for everyone.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- I actually was kind of eager

to hear
what Mama Flora has to say

about why we're even here.

- You know, honestly, girls,

when I go upstairs
to your closets,

they're full of stuff,

and it's been years.

This is my house.

And I labor so many years,
and I just--

I want, as a family,
to live more simply.

- I'm really curious
to know, like,

how our relationships with this
space and our home will change

when I don't come home
and I feel like,

"Oh, I'll sleep
in me and Kristen's room,"

even though we don't live here.
- Exactly. Yeah.

- And I don't know
how Kristen's

feeling about it, but...

- Pass.

- Oh, you don't want
to talk about it?

- Pass.

* *

[tense music]

- I don't know how Kristen's
feeling about it, but...

* *

- Pass.

- Oh, you don't want
to talk about it?

- Pass.

- My, like, idea about emotions

and, like, health is

that there is
always good reasons

why we feel what we feel.

So I'm just very curious
about what's the worst part

for you leaving that room?

- I think
because I do move around


- Yeah.

- That having that space
as a landing point

has felt really,
really safe and good.

'Cause when you're traveling
and going different places,

it almost feels like
you're living out of a suitcase



so in the months I am here,
this is stability.

- I think
that makes perfect sense.

Like, we all need stability
in our lives.

And that being said,
I think it's also important

for us to,
at some point in our life,

feel that I can carry
my own weight.

- Like, as a missionary,
how am I supposed to do that?

Like, I'm going
from one country to the next.

Where is the stability
in my lifestyle, right?

'Cause, you know, it's nice
to, like, come in for Christmas

and, like, see,

"Oh, my gosh, my prom dress
is still in the closet."

- And what would you feel
about having your own apartment

or studio
or something like that?

- It's not reasonable
in my lifestyle. It's--

- But you live with friends.

- I live with friends
when I'm here for longer stays.

There's no reason
to have a place.

Does that make sense?

- I think your need
for stability makes 100% sense.

The question is, how?
- Yeah.

- You don't have
your own space

'cause you're living
in your parents' house.

Also, like, meeting a partner,

over the years,
having your own family,

like, these are all
kind of important steps for us

on our growth journey
through life,

and it's important
that we don't,

like, freeze in our step.

You said at one point, like,

"Everyone has one foot
still in the house."

Like, lifting that foot
and standing on your two legs

can be so scary

but also
a really interesting change.

- You have to understand

that my mom does like
having us home.

And so, it's not just
us wanting to stay here

and, like,
home down all the time.

- Mm.
- Like, ask any one of us.

Like, Mom makes sure
we're all here for Christmas.

You really want us here still.
- Absolutely.

- Yeah.
- Without the clutter.

- Exactly. I'm like,
it's different things.

- I didn't have the energy
after cancer

to really go at it, you know?
- Yeah.

- And it was overwhelming.

Now I've been given
a second chance in life,

and God is so gracious

that I have grandchildren now
that I didn't have, you know?

So I want to invest in them.

I want to be able to,

you know, play with them and
hold my grandbaby for hours.

I don't want to be
cleaning closets.

- Yeah.
- That's not where my--

that's not
where my energy should go.

- Yeah.

- You know, all of us
have our own journey

when it comes to your cancer.

And all of us have been going

at such a high-anxiety speed
for so long

in that it just all builds.

And even just the clutter
in the house, it all builds.

And, you know, this is
difficult and very vulnerable

for us to just kind of lay
our, you know, emotions out

and our stuff out
and clear the clutter.

It comes with dealing
with those emotions

of thinking about
how you did almost die

and how it did
affect all of us.

And I think
that's what's really hard.

[heartfelt music]

- I'm sorry, baby.

- But I do think it's necessary
for us, as well as you,

to, like,
process those emotions

and process, you know,
getting rid of things

so that it is, like,
a new chapter

to your and dad's life

as well as our lives.

- I think still
there's one lesson in this room

that needs to be
properly voiced.

They cannot help you
unless you are very clear

with your boundaries,
your needs.

And I know you have
been voicing them,

but maybe you haven't been
the best at keeping them.

If you would set, like,

a clear boundary here
right now,

what would it sound like?

- We need to clean out
that stuff that we don't need

and get rid of it.

You can have one box
of your memories

that you want to keep,
you know?

It can't be closet-fuls
and basement-ful

and, you know,
laundry room-ful.

And I want minimal--
very minimal--stuff.

- Now that your mama's
told you her boundary,

how do you feel about, like,
respecting that boundary?

Will you help her keep it?

- Yes.
- Okay.

Let's stand up and rest up,

because tomorrow is a new day.

Thank you so much.
- Yes, thank you.

- Bye.

- Can I hug my girls?
- Yes.

- Thank you so much, girls.
- Mm.

- You guys
are so sweaty and stinky.

Aah!
[laughter]

narrator: And with
those sweet parting words,

we end a very long
but very productive day

of death cleaning.

Hopefully, the new day
means renewed energy

for our death cleaners'
last big project:

tackling the basement.

[all speaking Swedish]
[laughter]

They seem to be holding up.

- The best way to do when
you have a large room like this

is to set up
the sorting station

to make it easier when you are
going through your stuff.

- Oh, my gosh.
- I brought everyone.

- Look at this table.
- So here,

we can take out
one box at a time,

go through it.

And we have one box here
with a green dot,

and that means "save."

And the red dot is "donate."

And then we have trash.

- After talking
to the sister council,

I hope it's better today

in order to make the basement
shiny and empty

and, like, able for Johan
to work his magic again.

- So I think we should start.

- Where?
Like, the whole basement?

all: Yes.
- Wait.

Like, the whole basement?
both: Yes.

- I think, Jeff,
you have some job to do

over here at the desk.
- I'm going over there.

- Okay, 'cause
I definitely know

I have stuff
in that storage closet.

- Yeah, and I think
we can go in there.

- So who's joining me?
- Yes.

We go in here.
- We're going.

Okay.
- Okay.

- Okay, let's go.

- Oh, my, this room.

- Here we are.
We have some things here.

- Okay, I need help
taking this to the table.

Can you carry it, Kristen?
- I got it.

- Okay.
And then I'll take these two.

- Yes, we start with that.
Then we will come back here.

- Aah!
- Oh, no!

- Ooh, don't hurt yourself.

I can take that box.
- Thank you.

Oh, look, it's my underwear.

[laughter]

narrator: Pro tip: if you're
storing your underwear

in the storage room, you have
too many pairs of underwear.

- What about the boar?

- Personally,
I think it's trash.

- Unless you want it.

narrator:
You know what they say:

one man's trash
is another man's trash.

- I need someone tall
to help get down a box.

- Uh-huh.
- Are you tall?

[laughter]

- Yeah, compared to us.

Maybe you're short
amongst the Swedes.

I can't get that. Can you?

- I'm very short amongst
the ice bears on the street

up in Sweden.
- Yes.

Okay, perfect. See?

There we g--
[screaming]

[laughter]
- My God!

narrator: Oh, we're gonna have
to find out what that was.

- Oh, my God, like,
honestly, wait, what is that?

Wait, hold on a second.
- Oh, my gosh.

- Hold on.
What is that?

Ugh, that's so gross. Okay.

narrator: The lesson here is
to be careful while you clean

because you never know
when stagnant water

with flesh-eating bacteria may
be sitting on top of a box.

- Donate.
I don't--where's the donate?

- There. Red one.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- Donate.

This is gonna be difficult.

I have a really hard time
giving away art supplies.

- You said it was
kind of homeschooling stuff.

- Yes, it is.
I have another one right there.

- Oh, look at--
oh, wow, with a web.

I'm a little bit scared

of spiders, though.
- I can help you.

- Really?
- Whoops.

Here you go.
- [trills]

Back!

- I'm just gonna feel
so it's not gonna be like...

- You're not taking a shower?
- Having an accidental

dermabrasion from, like,
battery acid or something.

[laughter]

- Okay, Grace, that's to go.

- Give away?
- Yeah, give away.

- Oh, more.
- Oh, my gosh.

- The sister council--they are
doing much better today.

- If they're empty, do you want
me to throw them away?

- Empty, throw away.
- Okay.

- That one, I--

I do like this, actually.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Oh, whoa.

Look, I can see my fingernails,

like, underneath it.
Whoa.

- This week has been so busy.

We have sorted
through Grandma's stuff,

eight kids,

and 30 years of sh*t.

- Oh, yes.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- Sayonara.

- Bye.
- Good riddance.

- We don't want the stuff
that they are keeping

to come in between them.

This week is about love

and make the family
come even closer together.

[upbeat music]

- What are we gonna do
without these kids?

- Have fun.

- Yeah, we're gonna have fun.

* *

We're gonna have fun.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

[upbeat music]

* *

narrator: Flora and Jeff were
haunted by their kids' things.

Their adult children
treated their home

like their own personal
storage unit.

And Flora was good
at setting boundaries

the same way toddlers are good
at setting limits on candy.

It was sister council
versus death cleaners.

And you're
about to see who won.

- Hello.
- Hello!

Oh, my goodness!

- Hello. Aw.

- Look at you.
- You look wonderful.

- Welcome home.
[laughter]

- We are home.
We're so excited.

- Are you excited?
- I am so excited.

- How are you feeling?

- You know, I've been
looking forward to this.

This is so intense,
but yet so rewarding.

Anything, it's better
than where it was before.

[laughter]
narrator: Nice.

Nothing better
than low expectations.

- So are you ready?
- Yes.

- To go upstairs.
- Let's go upstairs.

- Yeah.
- Upstairs first.

narrator:
Before we see the new rooms,

let's go back
to the land that time forgot.

What should've been
Flora and Jeff's guest rooms

were instead warehouses
for their daughters' stuff--

closets packed to the brim

with
their high school clothes,

crowns,

and, for some reason,
this jellyfish mural.

- [gasps]
- Oh, my goodness.

- Oh, my gosh!
Look at this!

Oh, my gosh!
- It's like a hotel room.

- [gasps]

This is so beautiful, you guys.
- Oh, my goodness.

- Oh, my gosh.
- It's a little different.

- What do you mean "a little"?
- Oh, my goodness.

Look at this.
This is so lovely.

- Wait.
What are the girls gonna say?

- Oh, my gosh.
This is so beautiful.

- And the closet.

- Oh, yeah.
- Aah!

[laughter]
- Yes, they have space!

- Yay, this is empty!

narrator: Wow, if they're this
excited about empty closets,

wait until they see
the rest of the house.

- Oh, my gosh, I've never seen
the back of that closet ever.

- Oh, really? Oh, my God.
- No.

- It's been 20 years,
maybe 22 years,

since we've seen a closet.
- Yes.

- Yay!
- Look!

- Any of you can come stay
in my house now.

- Hey, close the door.

- You actually fit now.

Oh, kissing going on.

narrator:
Break it up, you two.

We've got other rooms to see.

[laughter]

- Good space.

- What are the girls
gonna say about this?

- We have k*lled the
museum of childhood

now here, you know?

- So now all the textiles
chosen in here are

with natural materials...
- Yes.

- Like leather, linen, cotton.

Material that ages well.

That's more
of a sustainable way

of making choices when
it comes to interior design.

It's a mature room,

and as you said,
a bit like a hotel room,

which it's supposed to be
in a way.

The purpose is now for anyone

to "check in" here
and live here.

- I love that!
- It's just in this hotel,

you clean yourself and you
make your breakfast yourself.

- Exactly.
- Yes, that's right.

- Do you think
that you will be able

to hold the boundaries now?
- Yes.

- They're not allowed to camp

and put their stuff
back into the closet.

- Yeah, and then they have
to remember they're our guests.

- They need to book it now.

narrator: It's like the
opposite of Hotel California.

You can check out
anytime you like,

but you must always leave.

- Let's go and see. Yeah.
- Yes.

[soft heartfelt music]

- Oh, my goodness.
- Oh, my goodness.

- Another room.
- Oh, my gosh!

[gasps]

This is so beautiful, you guys.
Oh, my gosh.

[gasps]

Wow, it's like a spa in here.

It's, like, so peaceful.

- Look what's
behind the bed, Flor.

- Aw, I love that!

I love nature inside my house.
- Yeah.

That's a very
Scandinavian thing as well.

Natural materials is the pillar
of Scandinavian design.

I think
it's a sustainable material,

but it also gives, like,
a very cozy feel to it.

- [gasps] Oh, my gosh.

- The function of the basement
was before very limited,

so I wanted to use the space

to present to Flora something
really important to her.

And I do hope
she's gonna love it.

- Oh, my goodness.
- Oh, my goodness.

- Oh, you haven't seen
the corner.

- Oh, my goodness.
- [gasps] Oh!

narrator:
Let's rewind.

Jeff's office used to be
in the corner of the basement.

And much like
the treadmill you bought,

the space had good intentions
but was never actually used.

- Yeah!
- Oh, my grandbabies!

- Aw!
- Yes!

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, that's so beautiful!

- No way!
- Oh, my gosh!

Aw, that is so beautiful!
- Look at this!

- Oh!
- Oh, my goodness.

- Aw, you really did it
for my grandbabies.

Aw, this so beautiful.

I love it! I love it!

This is what--I'm going
to play on the floor with them!

And I want them
to know Grandma,

and I want them to be with me.

Oh, this is so pretty.

- Yeah, you definitely--
- This is so--

- You definitely hit her heart.

- Swedish death cleaning
is about life.

I want to bring in life
to Flora's house.

It's about the purpose

of the things
that you have around you,

to clear it out
and live more purposeful.

- Oh, yes.
- Wait.

Wait, look what's on the wall.
- I know.

- Oh.
- Hey.

narrator:
The space is beautiful

for the grandchildren.

Just keep an eye out

for any
grandchildren councils.

The cycle must be broken.

- Some marshmallows.
- Oh, my goodness.

- This is
what I dream in my head.

- Yeah.
- It's come true.

- It's like we're sitting
in your heart.

Like, this is
where your heart is at.

- You know,
playing LEGOs and reading

and just being with them
in this space...

- I took a lot of inspiration
from your wish to live

and your wish to see
your grandchildren

in the future.

And now we're here, so I think

this is such an important room
to create.

- [sobbing]
This is so beautiful.

- Flora, I don't regret
for a second

getting rid of all the stuff.

- No, and I have something more
to show you.

Are you ready to see
your new laundry room?

narrator: As you may remember,
the laundry room

was probably the dirtiest area
of the house,

which is ironic for a place

where you're supposed
to clean things.

- Oh, my goodness.
- Oh, my goodness.

Wow!
- Ta-da!

- Look at this, Jeff!
- Yeah!

- It's all organized.
Ella, thank you.

- Everything is organized.
- And everything has names.

All décor.

- Here you have
all your seasonal décors.

So everything
has labels on it now.

- And there's some
even empty boxes for more.

- Yes, these are empty,
the ones that doesn't have--

- So we can put
some little stuff--

- Yes, you can still
have those boxes.

- We're gonna have to let
the kids know:

nothing back in here.

- Nothing back in here.
- This is your space now.

- Yep.
- And the space is the limit.

- When you saw this room,

I thought that's
when you were gonna back out.

- Mm-hmm, you thought.
- Yeah.

narrator:
Ella would never back out,

but if she had,
we would have supported her.

There was so much stuff.

* *

[bright music]

narrator: Flora and Jeff love
their new death-cleaned home,

but will their kids?

- Hi.
- Hi.

narrator: Oh, wait,
they're coming in.

Okay, here they come.

And more of them.

And they're still coming.

And yep.

Are they all in? Okay.

- Okay, we are so excited
for you to see the rooms now.

- You guys,
don't get too shocked.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Go see the death clean.

- Come on and look at it.

- [chuckles]
- Whoa.

- This is so cute!
- No way!

- Right?
- Wait, no way.

Wait, are you serious?
- Mayah.

- This is your room?

- It's so nice.

- Whoa.
- Oh, my gosh.

- Wait, I'm looking
at the other one.

- Wait, wait.
Oh, yeah, I wanna see too.

- Okay. Oh, my gosh!
- Oh, my gosh!

- It's so cute!
- Oh, my gosh!

- Oh, my goodness.

Dude, are we running a bed
and breakfast now or something?

Like, what?

narrator: "We"?
This is your parents' house.

Please remember that
during this tour.

- You guys can't ever visit.

- No. Yeah, right?
That way, they stay like this.

- No one at the house
ever again.

- They're changing the locks.
- Kristen, you cannot come back

to visit.
- Wow.

- What do you think?

- It's beautiful.
- It looks great.

- Was it worth it?

- Yes.
- Oh, my gosh.

- It's so pretty.

- The chaos was so worth it.

It looks so beautiful.
[laughter]

- It kinda makes me
wanna come over more.

I know that sounds,
like, weird,

but, like, it's all worth
the sacrifice

to see what it is.

- You haven't seen anything,
so come down.

We gotta see more.
Come down, girls.

narrator: Flora's dream was
to enjoy time with her family

instead of cleaning her house,

and hopefully,
that dream comes true today.

- [squeals]

[gasps] Oh, my God!

[laughter]

It's so cute!
- Whoa!

- I can't believe it!
- Wow!

- Oh, my gosh.
- No way.

- I know.
- No way!

- Oh, my gosh.
- Where did all our stuff go?

- Julian.
- Wow.

- Julian, do you like it?
- Yeah.

- You can make marshmallows.

- I think it's perfect
for what my parents need

'cause this is their home.

And this is, like,
exactly what my parents want,

like, a space to enjoy
their new generation.

It's so perfect.

- What is very, like,
satisfying for us

is that this is
an educational journey

that we do together, all of us.

Uh, we've seen
that it hasn't been easy.

Sometimes we pushed it
a little bit.

- I mean, I don't know
how you guys feel,

but I feel like
I'm totally gonna take this

into my own life.
all: Yeah.

- I like it.

[laughter]

- Josh, you like it?

- Take note.
- Yeah.

- Oh.

- As we say in Swedish,
slutet gott allting gott.

narrator: That means
"all's well that ends well."

- What I'm really
proud of this week

is that the work
that we put through--

us, the Swedish
death cleaners, and the girls.

And now, Flora and her family
has the tools

to continue to evolve
in their own home.

- In death cleaning, you have
three main categories--

the big stuff, the small stuff,
and the important stuff--

the things that are close
to our hearts.

And most of the times,
a home is just so cluttered

that the important things
are just hidden.

And once the parents pass,
the kids find these things,

and they find them randomly

without the connection
to the story

and the purpose
of these things.

- And it can also be
that it disappears...

- Exactly.
- Behind all the clutter.

- So we encouraged your parents
to pick some items

that they feel
are important to them.

- I think we'll probably start

with some
of the most important stuff

that comes
from Grandma Julie and Mommy

that they wanted
passed to the girls.

- Thank you.

- There's Mayah.
- Thank you.

- Gracie.

Sara.

- Wow.

- It's so pretty.

Whoa. Look at this.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Grandma wore those
all the time.

- Conan, that's a pocket watch
that I purchased in Germany

when I was 18 years old.

- Wow. Thank you, Papi.

- And we also have
a little more gift to you,

Flora.
all: Oh!

- This is the "Swedish
Death Cleaning Workbook."

So here, you can
fill in some stories

and what's important to you.

- I have homework, you guys.

- Yes, homework.
- Thank you.

- You use it mostly
to fill in these things

that a lot of people think
is a bit, like,

hard to take decisions on
in life,

like how do I want my funeral
to look like,

but then you can also share,
like, memories, favorite songs.

- And it can be
also life lessons,

things that you really want
to pass on in this family.

It's just very life-affirming,
I think.

- It's your family bible.
- Yes.

There you go. There you go.

We love you so much, guys.

And we're a family.

We've gone through
many journeys together, right?

I'm thankful that we are
together, knit together.

[heartfelt music]

- [sniffles]

- Death cleaning--I wasn't
always on board with it,

but I'm so glad
that you guys encouraged us

and made space for us
to join you in this process.

I'm just so thankful to have...

[sobbing]

To have parents like you

that aren't afraid
of challenges,

that aren't afraid
of the future,

but take courage.

And in all this stuff
that you guys take,

you guys make me brave.

- It's okay
to talk about death.

We are all going
to die one day, right?

We don't know when.

And so, it is okay
to talk about it.

- Thank you, Mom,
for fighting so hard,

for fighting for your life
and fighting for us.

- Time is short.

Time is precious,

and storing things
really isn't,

because, at the end of the day,

you really don't take
absolutely anything with you.

But you do leave behind
those memories

with your children,
with the grandchildren.

There's just not words
that can describe

what I'm feeling, honestly,

just to be alive
and to be with my grandkids

and have a house
that is welcoming to them.

It's totally a gift.

- And I think,
from the Haug family,

all of us got you guys
something small.

And we wanted
to give it to you guys.

- Oh, wow.

"Our favorite death cleaners."

[laughter]

- Maybe the only ones we know.
[laughter]

- "Dear Johan, Ella, Kat,

"thank you,
thank you, thank you

"for all the time,
kindness, and patience

"you've given our family.

"You truly have transformed
our home

"and blessed our family.

"We are endlessly grateful.

Love, the Haug family."

Aw.

- Thank you so much.
- Wow.

- I am beyond thrilled.

I don't have words to tell you

how much
this makes me so happy.

You made my heart glad.

My heart is glad.

- [chuckles]
Thank you, Mommy.

- We are in an adventure.

- [chuckles]
both: Whoo-hoo!

[laughter]

- I am so glad, Ella.

I am getting rid
of all this stuff.

- And here we go.
- Here we go!

[upbeat music]

You can have
all your stuff back, kids.

- Whoo-hoo!
- It is time.

Good luck.

* *

[laughter]

My house is not
a storage unit anymore.

Thank you, Ella.
- Yeah, you're welcome.

[laughter]