02x07 - Sexual Miscalculations

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[TV static drones]

[bright tone]

[calming music]

♪ ♪

- I was, like, you know,
recently I was just talking

to some friends
and thinking about past

dating experiences
and stuff like that.

And there was this one time,
right,

where I went out with this guy,
and when I get in his car,

he keeps talking about
how we're gonna f*ck.

Like, it's going down,
you know what I'm saying?

And I think when I got
in the car, I was down.

You know what I mean?
As we were, like, riding,

the more he kept saying
we were gonna f*ck,

the more I didn't want to.

But I'm still thinking like,
hey, maybe we'll get

to his house, and, like,
we'll chill.

We'll just watch
"The Sopranos."

[laughter]
You know what I mean?

- That is not
what's happening here.

- And it couldn't have been,
like, 15 minutes,

and his d*ck was out
of his pants.

So we have sex.

And afterwards
I feel like sh*t,

'cause it wasn't something
that I wanted.

But I didn't say no,
and I didn't--

but I didn't
definitively say yes.

- Right.
- So was I date r*ped?

[tape hissing]

- Did you ever say no?

- I never said no.

- And that's your thing.
That's why you didn't enjoy it.

- That's the problem.
- I've been in similar

situations where I wish
I would've spoken up

or said something,
and it's, like, unfort--

not unfortunate things,
but just things that I wish

I could take back happen and--

- But it's a shame
that we feel obligated

just because a p*nis is out.

"No" means "no"
at any moment in time.

That's what I was taught.
"No" means "no."

- But if you don't say no--
- Like, where does that fear

of saying no coming from?
- So if you're standing

buck naked--
I was in a situation

where a guy was over me,
and it got to a point

where he did something
that I didn't like.

He hit me, like, on the butt.

Hard, like a spank.
- Okay.

- And that just wasn't
my thing.

And I said, okay.

And he said, okay, okay, okay.

And he got dre--he freaked out.

But I was lucky,
because I know many occasions--

I have female friends
who have been in that situation

where they said no, and it went
further, and that's r*pe.

- It's very interesting
when you say that,

of like,
there's been women you know,

and it hasn't,
and you felt kind of lucky...

- Yeah.
- That this person was

reasonable in this situation.
- Right. Exactly.

- But I do feel,
generationally, like,

there's these divisions
in it, right?

So it's like, I don't know.

I feel like if I talked to my
younger cousin who's, like, 18,

she'll be like, yeah,
you were for sure date r*ped.

You know what I mean, like--
- Yeah.

- Ah, you didn't say
for sure yes.

- Yes.
- The signals weren't--

your language wasn't saying
you wanted to do that.

He should have been more aware
in the situation.

- True.
- And yeah, that's what it is.

But, like, me, you know,
being 40 years old,

I'm like, I don't know.
It was just a weird night.

You know what I mean?
- Yeah.

- It was just
a sexual miscalculation.

[ethereal music]

♪ ♪

[overlapping chatter]

- Have you been in a situation
where you feel like

you approached a girl
and you were like,

oh, f*ck, she is uncomfortable
right now?

- Oh, yeah.
You got to back out.

- Yeah.
- You got to be like,

"Err, my bad,
yo, have a good day."

- And you gotta let her know,
I'm not that person.

- Yeah.
- "I'm sorry about that.

That was weird."

- Yeah, I be like,
"My bad, have a great day."

You know?
- Yeah.

Yeah.
- This usually works.

"My bad."

- Right. Right. Right.

- See, I thought you was
gonna want to f*ck,

but yo, you have a great night.

[laughter]

- But it's f*cked up 'cause
even that could have you like--

- OD.
- In this new--

I think,
new setup of the world,

even that--you could be
a bad guy for that.

- Facts.
- Like, a b*tch could go

on Twitter and be like,
"And then when I said

I didn't want to have sex,
he left."

And everyone's like,
"Trash-a*s n*gga!"

"Burn this n*gga!"

You're like, yo!
- What?

- What?
- Yeah.

- That's the only way
I've known how to be, too,

is just straightforward
and sh*t.

I used to bag chicks off the
strength of just being like,

"Yo, I'm gonna be upfront
with you.

"I'm only here
for a couple nights.

I want to f*ck.
You're amazing--"

- I would throw up.
- "You're gorgeous,

you're this, you're that."
- I would throw up immediately

if I said that
out of my mouth--

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Out of fear,
I would be like--

- Anime throw up
all over your shoes.

- And you like, "Cool."
- It's true.

I've gone up to dudes
and been like,

"Hey, you trying to f*ck?
'Cause--"

[overlapping chatter]
- When a girl does that sh*t--

- But you get to do that.

- You get to do that.
- I know, I know I do.

- Yeah, yeah.
- I know I do.

That's why I do it.

- You get to do that.
- I ain't gonna hold you,

when a girl does that,
that sh*t can be so off-putting

sometimes
that you just be like,

"Nah, actually, I don't know."
- Does that happen often?

Do women do that often?
- Sometimes.

- I think--
- You got to stay outside

a long time.

[laughter]

You got to be outside
for a while, brother.

- You do. You do.

- How do you think
we move the conversation?

At least to me,
it feels a little stuck.

It's a little--now women have
dug their feet in the sand,

and they're like,
"All guys are, like, bad."

And if you just f*cking
misstep a little bit,

you're a bad dude and you need
to be taken off the planet.

And then I think there's,
like, you know, incel n*gg*s

who are like, "All women are
stupid and monsters

and none of them
have ever been r*ped!"

And I'm wondering,
in you guys' opinions,

how do we move
the conversation?

- I think being open,
being honest,

telling what you need.

I mean, I'm married.

My husband better know
how to take care of me,

'cause I won't
be married anymore.

Simple as that.
That's our conversation,

but it took time
to get to that.

This is not
an overnight success.

It takes time.

Being able to be comfortable
with yourself sexually,

having to explore your areas
of sexuality.

'Cause many women are not
allowed to.

They're told not to.

They're demonized as,
like, this is not--

from the church
to wherever else

their information's coming from
about how to handle yourself

as a female in the society
of this world now.

And now it's a time where we
really have to step up, truth.

We really have to step up.

- Well--
- How?

Open your mouth. Say something.

- Yeah.
- Be honest.

- "This doesn't feel good."
- That's the only way.

Communication.
- "I don't like that."

Communication, yeah.
- But me, I'm fed up

with all this bull crap
that you have to tell the men.

I went to a store
and I buy me a fake one.

That's easy for me.
[laughter]

That will please me.

- I've realized
as a young woman,

speaking up when I feel
that something isn't just,

it gives a voice
to other women,

and they feel comfortable
to speak,

or it puts into words
their emotions.

And I find being there
for one another, you know,

as we get older, is what's
kind of helping us communicate

better with one another
as women and to men.

- It's mad hard to reject girls.
It's mad hard, dog.

- And no one talks
about that sh*t.

Like, there's so many girls I
f*cked I that I didn't want to.

- Son.
- 'Cause it was like,

if I don't,
this b*tch is gonna act insane.

- Crazy, bro!
[laughter]

- I don't know what type
of b*tches y'all f*ck with,

but I know rejected women
are scary, bro.

- Yo, son,
they real scorned, for real.

- I've had women definitely
threaten me,

be like,
"You don't want to f*ck?

What's wrong with you?
You a b*tch-a*s n*gga."

Because they're immediately
like, "What's wrong with me?"

- Yeah.
But for you,

I feel like they still,
like, few and far between.

It ain't that many.

- I was gonna say, Sam,
it sounds like you have a type.

- It is definitely these women.
- Yeah, right.

- I'm with Sam on this.
I'm with Sam on this.

All these girls, yo,
if you reject them,

they do not handle it well.
- Nah.

- But you have to admit
that men or masculine-center,

you are set up to go get it.

And women are not set up
to go get you.

- That's true.
- There is a advantage

to not having to pursue.

A n*gga saying no is crazy.

'Cause we're taught, they
supposed to just want p*ssy.

You have p*ssy, they want it.

So if a n*gga's like,
"I don't want your p*ssy,"

it breaks the code.

It breaks the thing
that we were set up to believe,

which is like,
if you're throwing it,

they're supposed to take it.

If they're throwing it--
[overlapping chatter]

- Yo, I agree with you so much.

- If you're throwing it,
they're supposed to take it.

- I agree with Sam so much, yo.
I really do.

- It keeps it in perspective of,
like, yo, if a woma--

I just--
I treat that situation--

first of all,
it happens few and far between,

but like, if I'm treating
that situation the same way

the woman is, again, I'm gonna
just, like, let you down easy

'cause I don't know you.

- I'm saying I've f*cked
with chicks,

went on a few dates with chicks
and been like,

I don't know how I actually
feel about this b*tch.

But we're at the crib.
We're chilling,

just like you could be
with a n*gga.

Things are getting up there.

She's making out.
But I'm like,

"I actually don't want
to f*ck this b*tch."

That's what I'm saying.
When the p*ssy's actually being

thrown at you,
you're in the position

where you're not supposed
to say no.

You're a n*gga, and if it's
right there like that,

you're supposed
to want to take it.

And when women are being that--

- The setting changes
everything.

- But that's what
I'm talking about.

And when a woman is being
that f*cking vulnerable

in that moment, if you go,
"Naw, I'm good, b*tch,"

you're f*cking holding
a nuclear b*mb.

- Yeah.
- Let's not lie. Let's not lie.

[overlapping chatter]

- She's right. She's right.

- That b*tch might
blow your house up, n*gga.

[overlapping chatter]

- I want to hear
what you think about it,

especially coming from, like,
a Muslim woman's perspective.

- No, she has a vag*na.

You can't argue with her,
n*gga.

- Like, how is that sh*t--
- I know. I just don't--

I just try not
to bring crazy chicks home.

- How does that sh*t work
for y'all?

- I've broken so many rules
in my head for you.

And you're not like--why?
I want to know why.

- I wonder, you know,
'cause seeing both sides

of it has made me think, like,
when I was on the other side,

a woman being pursued by men,

was I guilty of any of these,
like, sexual miscalculations?

Was I guilty of any
of these sexual missteps

that made a dude
super uncomfortable?

- Recently, I was home
in Ohio for the holidays,

and there's this guy

who I've known
since kindergarten,

who was my biggest crush
in kindergarten.

And my goal for the last,
like, three years,

I was like, I need
to f*ck this guy just to do it

because he was
my kindergarten crush.

And we did over,
like, Christmas.

And I couldn't tell
if he wanted it or not,

but he didn't say no.

But he kept saying
"We shouldn't do this."

And I was like,
"Okay, then we don't have to."

But then, like,
I'm on top of him,

his d*ck's hard.

Was that wrong?

I don't know.

- Ah, man,
you did a creepy thing, man.

- I don't know.
- [laughs]

- You guys, I didn't r*pe him!

Right? Right?
- Right.

- You're fine, you're fine.

- But you know what
I'm thinking right now?

In his--for him,
it might be a r*pe.

Do you understand?
- Really?

- Okay, no. Whoa.
- Do you understand?

No, no, no. Listen to me.

You the one who wants to do it.

He told you, "I don't think
we should do it."

That's the message right there.

But you did it.
- But I think it's the gray.

- We were blacked out.

- I think it's the sexual
miscalculation of it all.

- I didn't feel bad
when it was happening.

- That's what I mean.
- It was when I left.

- I think it's the gray.

I think the gray just lives
on both sides of it.

The gap is getting wider,

and the future of sex
is getting wilder.

Like, I was thinking about that
b*tch who say she got groped

in the metaverse.

Did y'all see that sh*t?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Facts, facts, facts.
- You didn't see that sh*t?

- Man, that was the most
bullshit thing

I've ever seen in my life.
- This white lady said she--

- Of course she was
a white lady.

You don't have to say that.
- She got on the metaverse,

and a bunch of n*gg*s
g*ng-groped her, n*gga.

- That's crazy.
- She gon' have women rights

in the metaverse on lock.

- But that's how I felt.
That's how I felt, right?

I was like, you're dumb, b*tch.

There's options.
Turn the game off.

- Yeah.
- Like, it's the fake world.

- Yeah.
- Do whatever you want.

But then there is
this other side of that

that's like, oh,
but we're spending so much time

in a virtual space that there
is becoming virtual decorum.

I mean, just behavior and,
like, what is, and what's not,

and it's not--like,
I've gone through some sh*t,

weird like that,
you know what I'm saying?

Playing "Animal Crossing"
one time,

and my homegirl, who I haven't
seen in f*cking years,

she was on that sh*t.

She was like, yo,
come to my island, whatever.

So I was like, cool, b*tch.
I'll breeze through.

So I hop on the plane,
get off, right?

And you know, like,
when you get off,

that n*gga's supposed to be
meeting you at the airport.

They can be standing
there like, "What up?"

The b*tch wasn't there,
so that was already off.

- [laughing]
- Thank you.

- She didn't greet you
on her own island.

- She wasn't at the airport,
so I was already like, damn.

This is weird, bro.
- Yeah.

- So then she hit me
in the box--in the chat,

and she was like yo,
this how you get to my crib.

So I'm like, this is weird,

but I pull up,
she open the door,

and she's in a full
dominatrix outfit, bro.

I'm not f*cking lying to you,
on "Animal Crossing," my n*gga.

And then she was like,
you want to see my sex dungeon?

- Oh!
- And I was like...

- In "Animal Crossing?"
- Yeah.

- This is a kids game.
- You can do this?

- Did you feel pressed?

- So I dip down there
and it was, like, a bed.

It was, like, some mannequins
with some ball gags,

all types of sh*t.
- On "Animal Crossing"?

- And she's, like,
walking around the room,

and then she sits on the bed.

And I'm like, whoa, I got
to get the f*ck out of here.

This b*tch is bugging, n*gga.

And I was wild, wild, wild,
wild uncomfortable.

Like, why did she do that
to me?

She knew that was not the way
to do that,

but I don't think
it was malicious.

I think it was just like,

"I want you to know this thing,
and I don't know how to..."

- Yo, people be
socially awkward.

- "Show you my weird thing."

- Actually--
- That's the crazy sh*t,

is now she's doing that sh*t
to mad other people

on "Animal Crossing."
- That's what I'm saying.

'Cause I didn't speak up.
I was just like, "Whoa."

- Yeah.
- But it felt like,

what do I do?
I don't want to sha--

I don't want
to kink-shame the b*tch.

- So she don't think
she's in the wrong.

She thinks she was right.
- I don't know what she thinks.

- She might be telling this
story right now about you,

like you weird.
- That's what I'm saying.

And I didn't bite.
I didn't bite.

So I don't know if she just
like, that was a missed shot.

We could have had a cool,
freaky "Animal Crossing" time,

and it didn't happen.

It's indicative
of what's happening with us.

Like, I think there's more gray
in those type of things

than we're willing to discuss.

And that gray is just getting
widened by this virtual world

that now we're communicating
within and trying to understand

what the boundaries
and the rules of that sh*t is.

You know what I mean?

- Maybe a little--
yes, hit me,

Hit me with me it.
- [laughs]

- A little to the top.

- Can't take us nowhere.
- Yeah.

I mean, you can...
- You can.

- But, you know,
just expect a show.

- Somebody's gonna get blown
at the table.

- I mean, blow me.

- Y'all can't be
the sex workers

that make everything sexual.

- No.
- I mean--

- Aren't we all?
That's literally--

- I was like that
before sex work.

- Being women that are
in this line of work, right,

in today's world,
where there are a lot of rules

and parameters and lines being
drawn in the sand around sex,

right, and a lot of new ideas

about what is the appropriate
way to approach sex,

what is the appropriate way
to engage in sex,

how do you ladies feel, coming
from a sex positive place,

about the movement
moving forward,

like, post #metoo and where
women are trying to bring it?

Do you feel it's too extreme?

Do you feel like
it's an appropriate gauge

of what's happening?

- I feel like that's a--
it's nuanced, you know?

Like, I've worked in a lot of
facets of the industry, right?

Live, I've worked in porn.

I've worked
in full-service sex work.

I've done sugar babying.
I've worked as a stripper.

Like, I have run the gamut.

And there's this saying in porn,
when we talk about,

like, you don't watch
"Fast and the Furious"

to learn how to drive a car.
- Right.

- So you can't watch porn
to learn how to have sex.

- Honestly, the conversation
about sex positivity,

especially right now
in this moment,

we should be at the forefront
of that conversation,

but people don't want
to listen to us,

because the stigma
about what we do is based on

puritanical bullshit
that's been around for so long

that they're like,
oh, sex is up here.

It should be held up here.

When sex is not the pinnacle.

It doesn't mean love,
necessarily.

It doesn't mean anything
like that necessarily.

- Sex is just sex.

- So like, I've taken a lot
of workshops on, like,

navigating consent, and, like,
Midori has been, like, one of--

she's a rope master.

And so she talks about
when you're starting

specifically a kink scene,
and I use this a lot.

So like, I look at my partner
and I say,

"When something feels good for
you, what does your body do?

"Can you emulate that for me?

When things feel bad for you,
what does that look like?"

"My body goes rigid."

And so you can do this in,
like, a sexual way.

And so I know
before going into it,

when things are going well,

this is what my partner's
body does.

So you can even use that
as a part of, like,

starting, like, a sexual scene,
because it's not always verbal.

The dialogue is a lot
different because, like,

it's not, like, me being in
control of it like sex work.

It's like we are doing
this shared experience,

and it's up
to both of us to have

and navigate
these conversations.

- That's all good,

but you guys are already living
in a world of this.

If you just go to the block
and pull up on a n*gga

and be like, "Yo, bro,
da da-da da-da da-da"

that's gonna sound
very foreign to them,

and I don't think
that's insane.

I don't think a lot
of people...

- No, it's not insane.

- Are walking around
going, like,

how do I have this type of--
because they don't think

they're having wrong
sexual interactions.

- Right. Right.
- So there is no instinct

to go look for how
to have the right ones.

- If you're a woman hitting
on a woman,

don't they feel a bit calmer
'cause you also a woman?

- No.
- No?

They don't feel like--
- No. I thought that.

- That's what I thought.
- That was--

I was grossly mistaken.

I thought--
I would do sh*t and not--

and be like, we're two b*tches,
you know what I'm saying?

I remember I followed a chick
in a bathroom

to get her number.
I didn't think anything of it,

'cause I can go
in the b*tch bathroom.

- You see my face immediately.
- I know.

- But that's 'cause I'm a n*gga.

- It's obviously bad.
- I didn't even think of it.

I was like, that's so crazy.

- It's obviously bad,
but I can go in that bathroom.

So I'm not thinking sh*t
about it.

And also you're taught
a little bit

when you're
in that masculine space,

you got to be aggressive.

Like, that's how
you get b*tches.

You don't get b*tches
being passive.

So it is a dance.

It's like, what's right for
that woman and what she feels,

and you're kind of always
on the line,

and it's like,
we're so aware of that.

I often wonder, why are we
so black and white with it?

Why aren't we more willing
to just be like,

hey, you misstepped.

- I think there's a blockage,
though, because men think that,

like, women are responsible
to speak up,

and so they're kind of shirking
that responsibility of, like,

well, she didn't say nothing,
so it's not my fault.

You know?
And so they don't feel

like they know better
in that case.

- I guess what I'm saying is,
like--

and maybe this is me defending
dicks in this scenario--

but I'm not sure that they do.

- Yeah.
- I'm not sure

that they're as aware
as we're wanting to believe.

I know that how I was taught
to engage with men

didn't teach me
to have a voice.

And I know
that they probably had sex

with several women like me.

- So I think it's not
just up to the women.

I think it's up to,
like, other, like, men

or masculine-presenting folks
that have this information,

to have these conversations
with their men, you know?

Like, if you guys are gonna
have f*cking locker-room talk,

talk about consent.

- I'm listening.
- Tell me what you're thinking.

- What is that coming
out your mouth?

- 'Cause I'm like, girls have
locker-room talk too,

and you're not
f*cking educating.

You're talking about
how big his d*ck was

and how hard you came,

and whatever the f*ck it is
you're talking about.

- Yeah.
- And it's like,

we want to talk
about fun sh*t too.

Like, did that p*ssy squirt?
- I don't think--

- It's f*cking lame.
- How is it f*cking lame?

- It is.
- But we can talk about--

like, literally,
we talk about the p*ssy squirt.

- You can talk
about the p*ssy squirt.

- We can talk about
whether the p*ssy squirts

and also, like,
what was the energy exchange?

- Yes.
- Like, we be talking

about that sh*t too.
Like, you can have both.

- It's the thing is, like, you
having a conversation, right?

You're like, "Ooh, yeah,
I made that p*ssy squirt.

"I was all up in that cl*t.
I was sucking on that cl*t.

And then I told that b*tch
to go home."

You could be like, "Yo,
homeboy, why'd you do that?"

And then you check
your homeboy.

It's not about having...
- I know, but I'm saying...

- A PG conversation.
- Can we be human beings?

- Yes.
- No one likes

to k*ll the f*cking riff.

- As a woman,
you don't have that grace period

of giving men multiple chances,

because it takes one man
to f*ck it up for you.

It takes one experience
to f*ck it up to you

for you to feel fearful
of all situations.

That doesn't take a lot,
because I feel like

when men do take,
they take so much,

whether that--like,
it depends on the situation,

but they're taking a lot.

So then you automatically feel
fearful of so many situations.

- I remember, like,
you know, making out,

hooking up with this girl
at a party.

She gave me her number
at the end of the thing.

She went her way,
I went my way,

and then maybe two days later,
I hear from somebody.

"Oh, you know, she kind of felt

like you were being aggressive
that night."

And I'm like...

completely blindsided, right?

- But at no time
did they speak up?

- Because nothing in the
exchange in my mind was that,

because she never spoke to me
and told me--

- But did you take it upon
yourself to, like,

have a conversation with
this person after the fact?

- No, because it's
so terrifying.

When you're
in the masculine space

and you start to hear
that stuff about you,

your first mind is, is this
lady trying to say I r*ped her?

If I contact her, am I saying
that I did something wrong?

A part of the masculine
of centeredness, to me,

that is threatening
is the physical ability

of a man to overpower me.

And because I didn't have
any of that, in my mind,

if I was doing something,
where would be the filter?

And I'm not saying correct.

I'm just saying
how I was thinking.

- Right.
- Where would be the stop?

Until I heard,
"Oh, she thought this."

And then I was like,
well, sh*t.

Now I have to go back
and replay this whole thing,

because maybe there was a whole
read that I didn't catch.

But I think
what I'm asking you guys

is pre- this level
of self-awareness,

pre- this level of education...
- Oh, yeah, absolutely.

- Pre- this level of living
how you've been living, right,

were you in these type
of situations

where you left a thing
feeling like,

that wasn't what I wanted?

- Absolutely.
- 100%.

- And then
what did you do then?

- Well,
I've had issues where, like,

you know, I was, like,
too f*cked up, like,

I did a little too much molly,
a little bit too much ketamine,

and I was just like, ooh, like,
I didn't feel good about that.

And so it was, like,
a homey in the community,

and I was like--
I called them afterwards

'cause, like, I sought counsel,
and I was like,

"Y'all, that didn't feel good."

And they were just like,
"Talk to them.

"Tell them you didn't feel
okay about it.

Tell them why."

- I don't even think
a lot of dudes know

that conversation can even
happen to create progress.

- Absolutely.
- You know what I'm saying?

Like, it's not a lack of want,
but it's like, yo...

- We don't even think
it's possible.

- I don't know that this would
fix anything.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I don't--

- 'Cause you're scared
of that convo.

- Yes! That's what I'm saying.

- You were saying, like,
oh, women are talking to women,

is like--jokingly, but
seriously, like, being like,

oh, then the Black Lives
Matter movement--

Black people talking to Black
people don't do nothing.

- I feel like women are
also talking to men too.

- You know what I'm saying?
You got to also talk

to the opposite party.
- As a woman, you talk to men

that you've been with
intimately,

and, like, you share those
things with them, about like--

whether something happened
in your past or whatever,

you share with them,
and I feel like as a man--

I don't know, I've never
asked this question before,

but, like, have you ever dated
a woman that has not shared

with you how she felt sexually
intimidated by a man

or sexually abused by a man?

I feel like you'd be far
and in-between to be like,

"No, this one girl I dated,

"we dated for a long
period of time,

we shared a lot of things,
and she never said"--

- It's not about the dating.

It's about all the interactions
in between.

Have you guys--individually,
have you ever left a situation

or a sexual encounter and been
like, I did something off?

- Absolutely. Absolutely.
- Or that was f*cking off--

on my side.
- For sure.

- That was some wild-a*s sh*t
I just did.

Absolutely.
- Yes. Yes. Yes.

- Last year I was filming
a couple of scenes with someone.

We went through all
of our whole consent list.

We went through everything,
right.

- The yes/no/maybes.
- Yes, all of the things.

- Yeah.
- Tried to make sure

there was as many things
in place to make sure

that everybody's consent
was respected,

everybody's boundaries were
respected, and even still,

there was a consent violation.

We had to stop.
We had to check in.

I had to make sure,
are you okay,

because I'm the one
that did wrong.

I'm the one that did wrong,
and I'm the one that did harm.

There was ongoing communication
in that moment,

but I also needed
to take a step back and, like,

let them process,
let them breathe.

And then after the fact,
still followed up,

"Hey, not trying to overstep
or anything.

"Just want to make sure,
are you okay?

"And if you have the capacity,

"can we have a conversation
about how this cannot go--

how this cannot happen
going forward again?"

- Y'all got to get together
and write a p*ssy "Green Book."

[laughter]
- Hell yeah.

- It gets more detached
in a virtual space.

Like, I was watching this video
of this Asian n*gga.

He was f*cking, like,
a sex thing, like, virtually.

- You were watching porn?
- No.

- Oh, okay.
[laughter]

'Cause you said video.

- You g*dd*mn sicko. No!

- No, if I was watching porn,
I'd say it.

- Okay.
- It was only him

and a fake thing, like,
a fake bottom half of a woman

at, like, a virtual expo,

but it was, like,
a sex virtual expo.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- So the n*gga had a Oculus on,

and he's in an open space,

there's all these n*gg*s
around him,

you know what I'm saying,
and he's banging away...

- This sounds g*y as hell.
- As if he doesn't have

any, like, connection
to what he's doing,

but more, he's just like,
"Ah! I'm doing the thing."

You know what I mean, I'm
pounding away at this p*ssy.

Like, it wasn't
stroking it down.

It was speed-bagging him.

- Yeah, but the robots aren't

gonna get sentient
until a couple of years.

- Yeah. That's true.
- Yeah, true.

- That's true.
- True.

- It's coming for sure.

- But I think
the action was indicative of,

mentally, the gap
that we keep f*cking creating.

- When I was a kid--
I don't know--

I can't speak for everybody
here, but when I was a kid,

we did versions of that sh*t
alone in our hou--

you know what I mean?

Like, me and my friends,

we used to, like,
f*ck ottomans and sh*t.

Like, it would just--
- Together?

- Yeah, it would just
be you and your n*gg*s.

You were hanging out.

- I wish I hung out
with your friends.

- You would grind the f*ck--
- This is wild.

- That's real.
- That's not that crazy.

- Yo, that's pretty crazy.
- That's not that crazy.

Don't whisper about me.
How dare you?

- Bro, you woke--you woke Jo!
- There was a point--

- Let him talk.

- There was a point
of sexual exploration

where you
and your n*gg*s got together--

- No, don't say it
like it was everybody.

- No. It was me!

- You and your n*gg*s
got together--

- No, but actually--
- It was me and mine!

- You also got to think
about the age.

We're talking 11, 12.

We're not f*cking b*tches
at that age,

but we still have the same
level of, like, horniness.

- Maybe I got here late,

but I think you left out
a vital part in this,

that you're not f*cking
to get hard.

- That's what I just told--
- It's like sparring.

It's like when you sparring
a n*gga in boxing.

Y'all--it's shadowboxing
of f*cking.

- This n*gga over there
f*cking a pillow.

- I'm sorry!
- A'ight.

- I'm not saying
what y'all did is wrong.

It's just not what I did.

- I'm not gonna lie.

I've watched n*gg*s do this
in school.

- Right.
- They would take a chair.

Ah, ah--
- Yes, okay, okay--

- And another n*gga--
so you did it?

- But that's in front of--

[overlapping chatter]

- Excuse me,
ladies and gentlemen.

My name is Samaria Johnson.

No, I do not want your money.

I am very, very rich,

but I do want eight minutes
of your time.

I once f*cked a dude,
and I didn't really want to.

Did I say no? No, I did not.

Do I feel like he r*ped me?

Not really, but I was
really sad afterwards.

Some "Euphoria"-age b*tches
told me I was date r*ped,

and some geriatric hoes said
I need to get over it.

And in a way,
they are both correct,

but they both smell
very different.

No, no.

Hold your applause,
there's more.

As you can see
by looking at me,

I am a man-styled l*sbian.

So I don't have to tell you

that getting p*ssy is hard
and scary.

You would think
p*ssy on p*ssy would be easy,

but not when you're man-styled.

So I have made some mistakes.

I have been told I have been
too aggressive at times,

and I once smacked
a stripper's a*s way too hard.

You know how it is, ma'am.
You're at the strip club,

you see someone smack
a big old a*s, like pow, pow.

And you're like,
I could do you one better--

p-pow, pow, pow.

And then you got to remember

that a*s is attached
to a whole lady.

Damn. Chill out, Sam.

Also I am multitudes,

and multitudes once followed a
lady into the woman's bathroom.

Keep in mind,
I am allowed to be in there.

Does that make it less creepy?

That is for you to decide.

As you can see,
I've been through a lot today,

so I'm gonna hand it over
to my producer,

Mr. Langston Kerman.

- Excuse me,
ladies and gentlemen.

That's right, it's me,

executive producer
Langston Kerman.

I am here today to tell you
that I have humped ottomans

and chairs and couches

and a number of
inanimate objects in between.

You know, it's like when
you're at a friend's house

in the basement
listening to Pretty Ricky.

You know Pretty Ricky,
man in the fedora.

You're familiar
with their work.

Anyway, it was never sexual,
ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, good move.

It was always just to,
you know, show our virility.

We were merely trying
to impress each other.

Now, one time, I will say,
a girl came over,

and then the fellas decided
to hump her

instead of the couches.

The ratio was bad,
ladies and gentlemen.

Now, to be clear,
I never humped,

and I only watched a little.

Did I come? No, no, no, no.

Was I hard? Hard to say.

But the point is,
I'm not a perfect person.

You know what I mean.

We've all made mistakes,
ladies and gentlemen.

- [grunts]

Well, cheaper than therapy.

[sighs]

[classical music playing]

Mmm.

♪ ♪

Mm. Mm. Mm-mm.

All right, now, Oliver,

no dillydally.

Straight to the doctor.

I need to get another booster.

- How Hotep-y are you,
from one to Umar?

I'ma give myself a solid seven.

- Yeah, I'm around a s--
a eight.

- So how do you feel about
interracial relationships then?

- How do I feel about them?
- Yeah.

- Like, genuinely,
in my spirit?

- In your Hotep-y spirit.

- In my Hotep spirit,
I'm like, no.

- Yeah.
- Don't do it.

- I agree.
- Preserve the Black race.

- Yep.
- Make Black babies.

What the f*ck are you doing?
In my, like--and like,

I got to live in the world,
and I got mixed cousins.

Hey, you love who you love,

but when I be home by myself,
I be like,

mm-mm, it ain't right.
[laughter]

- The last date I was on,
the n*gga paid.

- And did he--did he f*ck you?

- No, then I f*cked him.
- Oh.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay.

You be f*cking
these white dudes, right?

- Yeah, yeah.
- A'ight.

Make sure
you hold it down, fam.

[laughter]
- That was the most--

that was the most
straight thing.

"You f*ck these white n*gg*s,
right?

Yeah, okay, good."

[bright tone]