02x13 - Nip N Slide

[bunniefuu]

Previously, on "Below Deck
Sailing Yacht"...

Slow down, slow down, slow down!

-Keep ahead, keep ahead!
-Ahead, ahead, ahead!

Ahead, ahead!

[bleep]

g*dd*mn it!
[bleep]

Eight years in yachting,
I've never been on a boat

that's hit the dock, and we're
literally about to pick up.

It's insane.

We're just gonna have to get
some black paint on it.

It's happened.
You can't unhappen it.

We need to fix
the immediate problem.

We got paying guests
coming on board.

I'm happy with that.

-t*tties for Trump!
-Oh, my God.

She's making America
great again.

Is there any way
we could get massages?

She's being catered to
on hand and food,

and demanding people
massage her on the crew.

That's just not how I do things.

Wow, we're excited.

How many courses have you got?

-Three.
-She said it was gonna be five.

Oh, I can do something
for you, it's no problem.

Do you mind?
I'm so sorry.

No, that's no problem.

There's chemistry
between Alli and I.

Huh?

What the [bleep]?

Now I feel like the biggest
as*h*le on this planet.

The whole situation's
just not right.

It's a bit different
now that I know it

and then I'm gonna continue
to act on it.

What the [bleep]
is this sh--?

I don't think I have
an STD, but [bleep].

I'm just not
feeling well down there.

I'm just thinking,
you don't need this.

You're way better than this.

You guys are really
just making me

feel uncomfortable on this trip.

Just watch this,
this will distract you.

I don't have a single ally here.

Daisy, I'm sure you can do
with one girl less.

What the [bleep]?

I don't wanna talk to him.
I don't even wanna look at him.

I don't wanna see him.

Honestly, I just don't
wanna be here.

I'm gonna be the girl with the
sexually transmitted disease.

People are gonna
judge me forever,

and I'm, like, well,
you know what,

I'm just gonna ----ing get some
cats and just be by myself.

Why don't you go and find JL,

because maybe your imagination
has just gone really...

No, it's not.

I know there's something wrong.

We should all be together
like we're all friends,

but you guys are making
me feel uncomfortable.

I called my mom
this morning, like...

Just finish lunch, and then
I'll come and talk to you.

Because I can't give you
the time you need right now,

and I wanna have
a chat with you.

This was such a bad idea,

to go with, like,
eight girls on vacation.

There's been a lot
of stuff said to me,

there's been a lot of
stuff said about me.

I want you to feel
like you have me now.

-That's how I feel.
-Okay.

You guys have to agree.

But I don't know why everybody
had to talk sh-- about me.

-Not you.
-I did absolutely nothing.

We all have.

You talk about what I do.
You make me feel, like, bad.

Cindi, would you like some wine?

I've been, like...
Just wait, no...

okay, I know, Cindi, I know.

I'm not...
I'm not talking about you.

When we were trying
to be your friend last night,

you were defensive.

So, that's in your own head
that you think

that we're excluding you.

----ing shut the [bleep] up,
just shut up.

I would uncover the lounge.

Yeah.

I hate seeing
everything covered,

and it's already sunny,
it's been sunny for 15 minutes.

As you get close
to the end of the season,

crew will let their guard
down a little bit.

The guests shouldn't be
waiting for us to open that.

-That should be...
-No, sure enough.

-We should be spot on that.
-Yeah, I agree.

Cool.

They're not on their A game,
especially after the crash.

Everyone's tired.

-Is this hot?
-Yeah, kind of.

So, now I've gotta keep
a close eye on everything.

That's where I'd be.
In this weather?

-Just sitting right there.
-Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

I don't have a problem over it.

I didn't even say
your name, girl.

I feel you guys have been
completely excluding me.

I come outside, I'm not
doing anything wrong,

I'm in my pajamas,
I'm getting sl*t-shamed.

Why are you yelling?

I'll look after this, you guys.
What is this?

Triple chocolate mousse with
passion fruit and pistachio.

That's just like,
okay, whatever, it's done.

I and her were very there,
by you.

Yeah, you were there.

[laughing]

You know, I honestly...
listen, I'm done.

-Hey, Glenn.
-Everything going all right?

We'll talk about this later.
I'm gonna go inside.

Do you wanna join us
for dinner tonight?

[bleep] me.

I would be honored.

-Okay, awesome.
-See you there.

-Thank you.
-Thank you so much.

Can you hear me?

These girls have been ----ing
torturing me

since I've been here because
I'm the prettiest one.

Oh.

I am, no joke now, seriously
considering leaving.

Even if it's not his fault,
he gave that sh-- to me,

whatever that sh-- is.

What are you worried about?

I'm not sure how JL feels about
me sharing this with everybody,

but he's on his ----ing
break, sleeping.

[snoring]

Oh sh--.

Sh--.

His willie probably
looks like that sea cucumber

we picked up yesterday.

Got a dead sea cucumber
coming up with it.

Oh, no.

Oh, that's nasty, oh!

You think you might have got it?

I don't know.

Hey, I wouldn't worry
about it until you know.

Dani's just overreacting.

If everyone left
the boat over an STD,

there'd be no yachties
left in the world.

I'm thinking it's gonna
be something really silly.

God, you're so
reasonable, Colin.

We need to have a conversation.

Well, but I'm sick
of this sh--.

She thinks we're all jealous.

Of what?
Can you explain of what?

Her beauty... in her mind,
I guess we're not as pretty.

It's just been...
it's been nonstop.

I'm gonna go in there and I'm
gonna rip her a new as*h*le.

-You did this.
-Every time I walk in...

You caused all these problems,
and you sat there like a victim.

Every time I walk in the room,
you guys walk out.

No, nobody was doing
anything to you.

She instigated
this unnecessarily

because maybe you wanna just,
I don't know...

I don't know what's going
on inside your head.

Yeah, that's it, that's it.

And you said that
people are being mean

to you because you're pretty.

-You said that.
-Yeah, I did say that.

You think that we're doing this
to you because you're pretty?

I have no idea why
you're doing all this.

Where did you buy your mirror?
Because I'd like to get one.

Okay.

I'd like to put them all over my
house.

-Okay.
-And be like Bianca.

♪Savage

I'm not gonna argue
with you guys.

This is so embarrassing.

Because I'm ----ing ugly,
I guess.

Are they gonna go snorkel?

-I think so, yeah.
-Cool.

You're not gonna ----ing
say anything against me.

No, I'm not talking about you.

I'm not gonna...
you're not gonna do it.

-Jessica, get out.
-No. No.

I don't trust you, because
you manipulate things.

Okay, yeah.

Since we got here, you've
been making fun of me.

Just put your
bathing suit on, Erica.

Yeah, I know.

She just heard...

Hey, but it might be, like,
a ----ing ingrown hair

or a pimple or some sh--.

Maybe, I don't know.

How many times do you
look at your d*ck a day?

At least three times.

So, you guys thinking
about going snorkeling?

Should we try to get
everybody to go snorkeling,

or is it too...
I mean, it's too cold.

Yes, we wanna go snorkeling.

All is well in Hell.

Should I have a life jacket?

It's up to you.

Maybe I need a bigger one.

And you're off,
everybody look up!

Get me outta here!

Okay, let's go.

It's like battle royale
out there, eh?

It's like boarding school.

Are you joining them
for dinner tonight?

Oh, my God,
I'm stressed as it is.

What is she gonna cook?

-It's all seafood.
-Is it?

-Okay.
-That gets me out of it.

I don't really wanna
have a meal

in the world's most
epic catfight.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Gary, that was not
a fart, I swear.

Take us away.

So, ladies,
here's our shipwreck.

-Oh, yeah!
-Yeah.

Whenever you're ready,
you can jump in.

I'm right after you.

Pink, purple, white.

After dinner last night,
the guests were still hungry.

That's not something I wanna,
like, repeat again...

Uh-uh.

So tonight, my strategy is
just continue feeding them.

I think maybe it would work.

Who the [bleep] knows?

Okay, scallops, lobster.

No!

-That was so much fun!
-Thank you.

You're welcome.

Oh, and with Glenn,
I know he was invited

for dinner this evening,
but he is allergic to seafood,

so I thought it might be best
if he joined for dessert.

-Whatever works.
-Okay, great.

-I'll let him...
-Anything is good.

-Okay, thank you.
-Okay, thank you.

I just spoke to her about
you and suggested dessert

or whatever suits.

-Better dessert tonight.
-Okay.

-Colin?
-Sorry?

Because we are doing so much
courses, do you want to help?

I can take care of
the crew dinner, then.

My heart is
overwhelmed with joy.

[laughs]

Okay.

I've developed feelings for Alli
massively over these six weeks,

but I'm starting to sense that
something doesn't feel right.

I'm a little bit confused.

It's just, yeah.

It doesn't really matter.

Okay.

I'm genuinely worried
I have an STD.

[phone rings]

Like, I need to talk
to somebody,

because this is starting
to get outta hand,

and it's scary, for sure.

On my genitalia,
I'm noticing there's just,

like, sore and abraised skin.

Like, I just wanted to make
sure that it's not an STD.

[bleep], really?

Coming up...

Cindi, where are you?

Do the boys wanna dress up?

-I didn't think I was...
-Are you serious?

They're size small, ladies.

Get the [bleep] outta here,

there ain't no way
that's happening.

What in the actual [bleep]?

And later...

I found out that you
and Sydney had sex.

[bleep]

On my genitalia,
I'm noticing that there's just,

like, sore and abraised skin.

Like, I just wanted to make
sure that it's not an STD.

Are you better?

So...

No, none of that has popped up.

It's just, you know, red.

[bleep] man, I hope it's
chafing and not an STD.

Okay.

Okay, awesome.

[camera shutter clicks]

Oh, gosh.

A mermaid-theme party for
a bunch of adult women?

Oh, my gosh, those are so cute.

It's a five-year-old's
birthday party.

And we're putting on face
jewels and pink eyeshadow,

-if you wanna join in.
-Yay!

Yes, definitely getting
involved in that.

What's a pirate's favorite
letter of the alphabet?

"R."

You think it'd be the "R,"
but it be the "C."

Where are we putting a...
I don't know where.

Hey, I feel really bad.

I never meant to scare you.

I'm, like, freaking out.

No, please, that was not...

-Like, really.
-That was not my intention.

-I know.
-And I don't want...

I don't want you to feel
that way.

Are you okay?

What the [bleep], JL?
Are you, like, 12?

Don't you know
the ----ing difference?

It's okay.

You're being very helpful.

[bleep] there's not
much I can do,

otherwise I'm going to bed now.

Now that I know that
they actually had sex,

I don't wanna be the person who
causes heartache for others.

I need to be able
to sleep peacefully at night

with the decisions
that I've made.

You were the one
having a little...

-No, I wasn't. At all.
-...hissy fit.

You came outside and you
said you're annoyed,

I said yeah, a little bit.

No, I said, "Are you annoyed."

I said, "Yeah, of course I am."

I would be stupid
not to be annoyed.

I'll tell you one thing,
though, that you should know.

It's not a very attractive
quality to be someone who, like,

storms off and has
little hissy fits and stuff.

I don't have a hissy fit.

Mm-hmm.

Excuse me from the table.

Sayonara.

----ing hell.

Where are you going?

Get ready.

Alli, go down and
get your makeup,

and I'll start
setting the table.

More.
Trust me.

This was, like, the cutest idea.

And it fits where we are.

-You feel those bones?
-Yeah, take it out, and...

Keep this aside for me.

I'll put it in, like, a fish
thing I'm making.

-So I can take the bones out?
-Yeah.

Dang, Colin, you really are
a little sous chef in here.

You look amazing.

I love you, Erica.

Love you, girl.

This mermaid thing...
do the boys wanna dress up?

Colin can be the pirate,
and the boys can be mermaids.

I was forced to do drag,
I wanna be a pirate.

You weren't forced.

Look at you go, boy!

Can I eat?
Can I...

Can we eat, and then I'll help?

Yeah, go.

Oh...

all crew, all crew,
your crew chef

has prepared dinner tonight.

Colin, I'm proud of you.

[bleep]

Ah-ha, finally.

Do you wanna do
the mermaid-tini?

Yeah.

Notice how I'm mixing up

one blue curaçao,
one vodka, one triple sec.

See you up there in a minute.

What a day.

I told my best friend
I was going to leave,

and she was like,
"Don't you dare."

Well, there.
So you're not leaving anymore?

You don't need to quit your job

just because your
boyfriend's p*nis hurts.

It's not a thing.

Cindi, where are you?

[laughing]

What are you doing?

Loves it.

How are you gonna cook these?

Let me see that sh--.

Bruh!

-I don't think that was...
-Are you serious?

They're size small ladies',
I don't think they'll fit you.

What in the actual...

[laughing]

Yo, get the [bleep] outta here.

There is no way
that's happening.

Hey, they fit!

-Perfect!
-No way.

I love it.

You guys, this looks so cute.

So cute.

Who's ready to eat?

Natasha, guests are seated.

This is so beautiful.

What is it?

It's smoked salmon
stuffed with avocado.

These mermaid-tinis are amazing.

Yummy, yummy.

This first course,
it's smoked salmon

stuffed with avocado miso
with soy sauce.

-Mm.
-It's good, right?

Yum.

How is it?

I ate that whole thing.

Alli, you can start cabins.

Okay.

Can you start mixing
that for me?

It's like a tartar?

It is a tartar,
not like a tartar.

Gross.

This is disgusting, oh, my God.

These women have
so many belongings,

and they're everywhere.

It's like an expl*si*n.

In the next two years,

I see a baby in your future.

You did pay for this service,
but that's just disrespectful.

This is, like [bleep].

I feel an energy blockage.

Coming up...

JL, JL!

Ah!

It's only worth it if
somebody licks it off.

If it means a bigger tip,
then [bleep] it, I'll do it.

Woo!

Here's your costume stuff.

Can I go with the ball
out this time?

Ew.

They won't notice.

Oh, God.

All right, let's go.

So, tuna tartare...

Okay.

...with some mangos and
avocados, ginger, and garlic.

-Enjoy!
-Thank you!

-Welcome.
-It's amazing, mm.

I don't have all night to,
like, tidy.

No.

So, it's just the best I can do.

I'm not, like, their mother.

All crew, please get
into your costumes.

I'm getting mermaided up.

Oh, my God, so...

[laughing]

There's a hop.

Where's my phone?

Daddy long-legs,
don't fail me now, come on!

I'm too sober for this sh--.

You're never to old
for a shot of tequila.

Are we doing this, or what?

Oh, my God, Colin!

Okay, I have to go pee.

Keely, I'm bringing my phone.

----ing hell!

Oh, my God, what's happening?

-Woo!
-Yeah!

Oh, my gosh,
you guys look so cute.

Yeah!

This was the best sh-- ever!

You should have put, like,
a gem on his bellybutton,

he looks like a troll.

[laughing]

That was epic as sh--.

So, you all are having
a seafood pie.

I'm making sure that you
are not hungry, right?

More courses coming.

Oh, my God.

-Enjoy it.
-Yum!

So good.

What's next, Cheffy?

Mussels.

She might be the best chef
I've ever experienced.

-Oh, I love mussels.
-Mussels, thank you.

Oh, my God, I just
cracked that mussel.

What's the next course?

Lobster.

I won.

You missed the
mussel-eating contest.

Potato puree with lobster
in garlic butter.

Mm, that's so good.

I need to, like,
loosen my zipper.

Croatian sea bass with barbecued
aubergine and sauce verde.

Thank God it's a small sliver.

Glenn, we're on the last course,
and then I do dessert, okay?

Whew.

Everything was fantastic.

I'm full, but it's beautiful
and delicious.

Is Glenn still gonna be
joining us for dessert?

-Yes, he is.
-Yay!

I think we're gonna do dessert
up on the fly bridge.

Oh, my gosh, I love that.

Whoa, Cappy, nice blazer.

I think we're ready for it.

Let's journey.

Natasha, they are
ready for dessert.

I'm doing the
dessert table again

because it was a bit
hit the last time.

If something isn't broken,
you don't have to fix it.

Each one of you would grab...
one will do a berry...

No one's grabbing
my berries, please.

[laughing]

What do you all think
the dessert's gonna be?

I get to do this?

So, easy...

Cheffy, no, no, no,
that's not...

-What?
-That's going all over.

That's gonna ----ing
go on the couches.

I'm getting my camera out,
wait, you guys.

Is that chocolate on the table?

Yeah.

Wait, what are you guys doing?

Let's go.
Ah!

It's live dessert
in front of you all!

Yeah.

I feel like this is a Picasso.

This dessert's
not my cup of tea.

Yeah, it's cool once, but
[bleep] gimme a nice dessert,

not sh-- on a table.

It's three different
mascarpone creams

on the table, fresh berries.

Just scoop up any...

All right.

We're just scooping and eating.

Jean, I feel like you need
to roll around in here.

Might make a mess.

It's okay, just do it.

I would break the table.

No, I'm too heavy.

JL, JL, JL!

But he's longer than the table!

I don't think JL's
actually gonna do it.

This is all just fun
for the guests, you know.

-Woo!
-Yes!

Oh, my God.

-Go, boy!

[screaming]

-Oh, my God.
-Oh sh--.

Get up!

Get that in the wash right now.

That sh-- better come outta the
cushions, and off the teak.

----ing hell!

Is everything okay up three?

He just slid across the table.

This is an absolute mess.

I mean, if it means
a bigger tip,

then [bleep] yeah, I'll do it.

It's only worth it if
somebody licks it off.

I'll give it a good...

Yeah!

Woo!

Oh my gosh!

Yeah, Mandy licked it off!

That was so hot.

I'll be out here
as soon as I'm done.

Thank you all,
that was good spirit.

-No worries.
-He's hot!

-It's like...
-He's really cute.

Oh, my God, I'm just
full of sh--.

They better give us
a lot of money.

Are we gonna have a
little cuddle tonight?

No.

No... so maybe I should
just stop asking.

-Yeah.
-Okay.

-That was so much fun.
-Oh, yeah.

But we're gonna have
a talk tonight.

Oh, re... oof.

I need to get this
conversation over with.

Good luck.

Thank you for helping,
I appreciate it.

No, I ----ing feel terrible.

No, I think it was worth it.

-Hi.
-Oh, hi.

Mm.

Eh?

I'm...

Okay, well, let me just
start with it sucks,

because, like, I really...
like, I really like you.

It's quite difficult,

because I don't think any
of us wanna hurt

each other's feelings.

No.

[bleep]

Now I kinda understand
why she was so upset.

Like, I feel like I've
completely disrespected her,

and I feel like
a massive as*h*le.

And...

I don't really know
what I'm supposed to do.

[bleep]

I feel like a massive
as*h*le towards her.

----ing hell,
you've got me there.

Obviously, I do like you,

and I don't really know
what I'm supposed to do.

[bleep] I don't even
know what to say.

I don't.

So, I've got that weird,
gross feeling in my stomach.

Like, you know butterflies,
but dying butterflies.

So, that's not nice.

It's like I've disappointed
someone, you know, massively.

It's just not a nice feeling.

I feel like a d*ck, but,
I mean, at the end of the day,

I don't feel the way
for her as I do for you...

Delicious!

It smells like...
no, it smells nice.

-So it's not smelly tonight?
-It's not up to par tonight.

Let me see, let me see.

Go for it.

I don't smell anything!

I'm really clean tonight.

It smells like deodorant.

I know, it's disappointing.

Time for a scotch.

Not your as*h*le!

I'm sorry.

That's all right, it's like...

I'm sorry I put you
in this situation,

because it's not fair
on you, either.

If we like each other,
than maybe we can, like,

see what happens after
we finish working here.

But, like, while we're on
this boat with Sydney,

I don't think that it's very
fair that we continue anything.

And I hate saying that.

Like, it sucks, and I know
it's not gonna be easy for me.

But I literally don't feel
like I have a choice anymore.

Just need to go clear my head.

What are you doing up still?

Having a little chat.

Oh.

I've gotta go to bed.

Gimme a little smooch.

Good night, guys.

Mm.

Okay, love you.

Night, love you.

Oh, that was not good.

Looks like you've been crying.

I feel like I have
been crying, yeah.

-I'm going to bed.
-Good night, babes.

Good night.

Did they put all
my stuff up here, wow.

-They folded.
-They did?

Yeah, they all...

How'd they even know
which was mine?

Okay.

Mm...

Oh, my God, this is
super uncomfortable.

What happened?

I told him the whole crew knows
that he and Sydney had sex,

and he was like,
"I can't defend that."

Wow, so he admitted it.

Yeah, yeah.

And she's like,
"Now I feel like a d*ck

"because I've been
fighting with Sydney,

and I've realized
Sydney liked you."

"Maybe at the end of
season we can go,

but we can't do anything here."

Because of Sydney.

But [bleep] at the end
of the day,

if you say you like me
so much like you do,

what difference does it make?

He was quite upset.

He just needs to wait,
like, one week.

Yeah.

My question is this...

Because as soon as I get drunk,

I'm gonna just wanna
----ing hook up with her.

[bleep] it's gonna be difficult.

[laughing]

[alarm vibrates]

Thank you, Lord!

I woke up and
I don't have an STD.

Thank God.

I'm so freaking relieved...

obviously.

Whew.

That was not fun,
that's for sure.

[phone ringing]

Glenn speaking.

We have messed up the transom,

but luckily, our next
charter is three days

and we're finished
for the season.

I want them to fill it,
smooth it,

and repaint it
where the damage is.

Tell them just
to gimme a summary.

Thank you, Luka.

Ciao, ciao, bye.

I'm not, what do you mean?

You're being so weird.

I just feel, like,
a little bit...

oh, I don't even know how
to explain that feeling.

It's just I feel like ----ing
jumping over the boat

with an anchor tied around my
feet, and not coming up again.

I just feel like a proper d*ck.

Last full day.

Last full day, beach setup.

Now that everyone's awake,
we can get the things ready.

Ooh, it's like a snot.

I need to ask
Sydney to write a song

and sing it for
the empowerment thing.

Daisy, are there
any singers on board?

Sydney loves to sing, and
she has a lovely voice, so.

I've only heard her sing once.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

She might say no,
but I don't think she will.

Glenn, are you happy if I start
bringing up the anchor?

Yes, please, yes, please.

Okay.

Morning, how are you?

I'm good, can I have an iced,
like, sugar-free vanilla latte?

Yeah.

You in?

-Anchor is home.
- Copy, thank you.

Coming ahead, coming ahead.

Would you like me to
start bringing

the breakfast out, or
do you wanna wait a bit?

I'm ready.

-You got this?
-Yeah.

Ta-da!

Morning, ladies.

-Hi.
-How are you guys?

Good.

Yeah, okay, one of
those nights, huh?

We've got some warm,
gluten-free bread.

This is fresh, so
I'm, like, mm.

Was it too big for your mouth?

I don't think you've ever
had that problem before.

So, Sydney, I wondered
if you wanted

to write a song and sing it for
our women's empowerment party?

I could play the guitar.

Yeah!

These hectic women don't need
a female empowerment song.

The irony of this dinner
is up there

with one of the most awkward
situations I've ever been in.

We're happy to help
you write it.

♪ Women are amazing,
p*ssy power ♪

Does anybody want bacon?

No, I don't eat breakfast.

Okay.

♪ p*ssy power,
p*ssy, p*ssy, p*ssy ♪

♪ p*ssy, p*ssy, p*ssy ♪

♪ p*ssy power ♪

I'm, like, still
half asleep right now.

You guys are, like...

I thought, like, you went
to bed early?

This entire trip
I haven't really slept,

so today was the first day I...

But you slept late today.

I'm gonna actually go get ready.

I'm gonna go put
on my bathing suit.

Thank you.

Plus, I wanna be in the sun.

♪ p*ssy, p*ssy power,
p*ssy, p*ssy power ♪

That's a good move.

Can you guys keep the cackling
down below 150 decibels, please?

Yes, we...

I just hope
we all get along today.

Coming up...

It'll probably be, like,
the fastest hour of my life,

because she'll probably
just chat the whole time.

Oh, my ----ing God.

I heard Alli saying
something bad about my mom.

Oh, wind's picking up.

Okay, decision time, eh?

Let's slow it down.

Oh, really.

-Hey, girl
-Hello.

What else is happening today?

So, I think we're gonna do
a beach picnic for you guys.

That was today.

And for sure
we're going sailing.

We're excited.

What time do you think
you want lunch,

just so I can let Natasha know?

It's 11:30... maybe 3:00,
because, like, dinner.

Okay, perfect.

It's 12 knots.

So, we're gonna go sailing.

Yeah!

-Maybe in, like, 15 minutes?
-Yeah.

-Sure, I'll go shower.
-Yeah?

-Okay, perfect.
-Yeah, thank you.

Okay, let's get going
on the mizzen.

Interior, interior,
we're getting sails up.

Just keep an eye on your
dishes on the dining table,

please, thank you.

And hold.

Let's get straight on the main.

Okay, coming out on the gennie.

I think everything will be good.

Main engine off,
main engine off.

Yep, sails are out...
we're sailing.

Beautiful.

We're, like, out in the middle
of the ocean today.

Yeah, I love being on the water.

If the wind catches this sail
and tilts this boat one way,

you could roll
right the hell off.

Oh... oh!

I've fallen and
I can't get up!

That's hilarious.

Oh, my God, are we heeling?

Yes, we are.

What the [bleep]?

I feel perfect,
and there's a nice wind.

We have a beach picnic today,
and Cindi's massage.

I did massage for a
whole year at beauty school,

so I can just wing it.

Cool.
Thanks, Alli.

As a yachtie, you work so hard.

You know, you put up
with a fair bit of sh--.

And I'm somewhat of a comedian.

I've already taught them mime
and ventriloquism, puppetry.

La, la, la, la, la.

I don't really like
giving massages,

but at least
Cindi's gonna be happy.

Picnic lunch is at 3:00.

Can you...

Colin, if you wanna
do the mizzen?

Dropping everything?

Yeah.

Well, I think I'm ready
for my massage.

Gimme some hands.

Okay, sure.

That sun is bright.

Okay, Colin, let her go.

It'll probably be, like,
the fastest hour of my life,

because she'll probably
just chat the whole time.

-Lucky you.
-Oh, my God.

We're just joking around.

Oh, my ----ing God.

All right, I'm gonna
head down to her.

[knocking]

I was just really annoyed
about something.

What?

I heard Alli gossiping
about my mom.

I wouldn't like that,
I'll be honest.

-No.
-I mean, even if mom's being...

-Yeah.
-Even if I think my mom's...

over the top and everything,

it's like, I don't wanna hear
anybody badmouth my mother.

Okay. I'll get you to lay down.

You can just undo your robe
and you can leave it on.

-Sh--, man, what do we need?
-Everything.

-Go, girl, woo!
-Woo!

Two tables, two tables...

-Are we outta here?
-Yeah.

I'm gonna go and set up now.

Let us know when
you're ready for Dani.

Copy.

Feels good already.

Oh, good.

Ooh.

Everything all right?

Yeah, we're just getting
the picnic stuff.

Where is it going, here?

I reckon there, yeah.

At least we pulled off
a beach picnic.

They'll have to wear
hiking boots.

She's definitely not
being herself.

No, she's not.

One more day,
we got one more day.

Yeah, I think this is all right.

Go for a swim,
probably have an argument.

Daisy, Gary.

We've got the tent
and everything set up.

So, I'll come back
to the boat now

and pick one of you girls up.

Copy.

Dani, Gary's
gonna pick you up in, like,

two minutes to go to the beach.

Okay.

It's a perfect day right now.

Ugh, I'm loving it.

Coming down, now.

Okay.

Is that everything, eh?

Yeah.

What have you got?

This is what I've got so far.

I wanna, like,
give 'em each a shout-out

with one of their names.

Like Erica's a lawyer and a mom;
Cindi shines like the sun.

I don't know, like,
something, you know...

-Yeah, yeah.
-Keely, you can...

[laughing]

I grew up singing;
I'm classically trained.

The last show I was in,

I was Audrey in "Little
Shop of Horrors."

-Yeah.
-I'm so happy to sing.

Because, like, I'm all
about female empowerment.

Like, girls should always
be lifting each other up.

I actually don't think
Bianca's JL's type.

p*ssy, p*ssy power.

I just don't know these girls.

I haven't spent that
much time with them,

because I've been on nights.

Daisy, when are
we gonna get out of here?

Do you wanna go over,
like, 2:00ish?

-Yeah.
-Yeah?

Okay, perfect.

Gary, Gary, Daisy.

[bleep], can you answer for me?

Go ahead for Gary.

I think the ladies want
to go over to the beach.

You can pick them up
in about 15 minutes,

but lunch will
still be at 3:00.

Copy.

Thank you.

[bleep] we're a good team, Dani.

-Hey.
-How you doing?

Kind of, like, upset,

because I heard Alli saying
something bad about my mom.

And now she's in there,
like, massaging her.

Do you know what she said?

So, I heard her saying,
like, "Oh, this is gonna be

"the fastest massage of my life
that I'm gonna have to do,

because Cindi's gonna just be,
like, talking my ear off."

Like, kind of I felt making fun.

But I don't wanna tell my mom,

because I don't want her
to be sad,

because she really likes Alli.

Yeah, I wouldn't say...
I'll have a word with...

So, I'm not gonna say anything.
I'll have a word with Alli.

It's just kinda weird.

I'm just really disappointed,

because we're meant to be a
lot more discreet than that.

I'm not happy.

If someone's talking
about my mom,

like, I get really protective.

Like, everyone else has been
really positive and engaging,

but I don't know
if she's having,

like, her personal struggles.

This is wonderful.

I'm glad.

Mm.

-I'm not as...
-Bloody Mary.

Yeah, I was just telling,
like, Glenn,

I was kind of upset when I
walked in on the conversation.

My mom really,
like, loves her.

No, no...

She's, like, said that
she's been her favorite person

this time.

But Alli's loved her as well,
that's what the irony of it is.

I promise you,
I'm not kidding.

Okay.

She was like, "I absolutely
love the chats

-with Cindi," and she's like...
-Okay.

Because my mom has been, like,
spending a lot of time with her.

And that's what Alli said.

I promise you,
it wasn't a negative way.

-Okay.
-Thanks, girl.

All right, thank you.

How's that pressure?

It's wonderful.

-I'm not kidding.
-Okay.

She was, like, I absolutely
love the chats with Cindi,

and I promise you,
it wasn't a negative way.

Okay.
Thanks, girl.

Yeah, yeah, I'll handle it.

-Thank you.
-My God.

This is actually
so embarrassing.

Oh, my God, it's just ugh.

-How's that?
-Thank you so much.

You are so welcome.

I'll see you out there
whenever you're ready.

Yeah.

Here, b*tch, come
pick up this stuff.

-Was it okay?
-Yeah, it was fine.

Jeez.

You guys, go get your shoes
if you need them for the beach.

So, what do you got?

I've got, like, a basis.

-If we put our notes together...
-Oh, for sure.

it'll, like, sound good.

[speaking foreign language]

Gary, Gary, Gary, Glenn.

The guests are ready now.

Are you on your way back?

I'm on my way back.

Excellent, thanks.

Are you sending JL after?

I'm sending him to bed
so I don't have to deal

with him anymore, maybe.

As soon as
you've done those glasses,

you can go on your break.

I'm gonna go vacuum.

With these crazy women,
everything's so messy.

Whenever you ladies are ready.

-Woo-hoo!
-Thank you.

Here comes the clumsy one.

All right, guys, have fun!

Welcome!

It looks amazing.

I didn't know we were
going on a hike.

I should have brought
my hiking boots.

Doing this in wedges is,
like, a little bit tricky.

I hope nobody bust they a*s.

Ah! Okay.

-Cindi...
-Here, let me help you.

The correct shoes...

It's okay, you hold on to me.

Thank you.

It is a bit rocky.

Yay, guys, look at this.

Lunch will be in half an hour,

so serve you some wine,

and then you can just enjoy
yourselves for now.

Mandy, will you take a couple?

What could I do for you?

You wanna serve water?

No.

Cindi's...

So, my seat is no longer
in existence?

Bianca, you're gonna
have to move,

because I was gonna
sit right next to Erica.

I just sat down.

There was stuff right here,

there was Jen's
stuff over there.

Yeah, my stuff was there,

but it got moved when
we were taking pictures.

Okay, why don't y'all move
down so she can sit by me?

It's not a big deal.

I can't help that I'm popular
and people love me.

It's, like, one time I would
like to not sit on the end.

[guitar playing]

I think it was...

Look at you go, Colin!

♪ Sailing on Parsifal III ♪

Oh, that doesn't fit.

I think the sentences
aren't finishing

in the right place
in a few spots.

Yeah, I know.

I agree.

How's it going?

It's going good.

Would you like some rosé
or champagne?

I'll take rosé.

I'll have some as well.

I'll take rosé, please.

Thank you.

Uh, rosé, please.

Could you open another
bottle of rosé, darling?

Sure.

Where is the rosé?

Dani!

You're joking.

Yeah...
she only sent one bottle.

One bottle of rosé?

For a lunch on the beach.

I know...
and two bottles of water.

I didn't have any wine.

-We need way more than this.
-She's bringing it.

Maybe they're out.

Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, Dani.

Daisy, Daisy, Dani.

And then I wanna
do something like...

Dani, Daisy.

Something on the Adriatic Sea
to end it.

Yeah.

-Okay, let me just go.
-Rosé, water, and food.

No way.

Sorry, we're just out of rosé,
just for a second.

-It's okay.
-It will come back, though.

Would you like to have some
champagne in the meantime?

Alli, Alli, Gary.

Gary, Alli's on break.

Could we get a couple bottles
of rosé and some water, please?

I have no more rosé,
it's coming this evening.

Okay, copy that.

Jesus.

Are we outta rosé?

Yeah, I've ordered more.

No, I'm good, I'm good.

Okay, perfect.

Oh, I've got rosé... awesome.

Okay, let's pack up this food

and get it to the beach,
shall we?

-Dani, Daisy.
-Go ahead, Daisy.

Hey, let the guests
know I found more rosé,

I'm sending it over with Gary.

Copy, thank you.

You shouldn't say
you found more,

because it acts like
we're surprised.

You should say, "I've got
more rosé coming in now."

Like it was planned
from the very beginning.

-Mm-hmm.
-Here we go.

Very soon we'll have the rosé.
Sorry about that.

No worries.

I just didn't know she
told the guests already.

No, but the thing is, anything
we say on the radio...

Anything we say, yeah, for sure.

They may hear it.

I don't want what's going
on with my crew today.

Everyone seems a little bit off.

But we've gotta be do better.

How soon is that food ready?

Oh, my God, we're coming!

Okay, you guys got two minutes
to get in the tender.

-Yes, sir.
-Copy that.

Could you wrap this for me?

Could you ask Daisy for
the next one of this?

I'll ask her.

Daisy, I can get
the next one of the trays?

Is the food ready to go?

Yeah, we are packing
it right now.

Okay, well...

I'm really starting
to lose my patience.

We're like a charter and a half
away from the end of the season,

and we're just dropping
the ball way too much.

Come on, guys,
get your sh-- together.

-They're coming.
-Sh--.

Wait, we're missing something.

Jesus Christ.

Oh!

Natasha, Natasha, let's go.

[bleep]

Next, on "Below Deck
Sailing Yacht"...

Hi, girl, what are you doing?

I'm just having Keely help,
because she's an event planner

So you can wait, because
it's not ready yet, okay?

Thanks!

How can you drag each
other down like this?

It's hard to watch.

Okay, JL, I'm moving to America,

we're gonna get married,
and let's have babies.

Let's do this.

You ready?

Flirting with Gary is
a little bit vindictive.

It's exactly why I didn't want
to come to dinner.

She's hurt me so badly, like,
playing with my feelings.

If you like Alli,
don't [bleep] Sydney.

That's all I'm gonna say.