04x01 - ParsiFAIL

[bunniefuu]

I’ve been with
Parsifal for 13 years.

She had a lot of problems,
but she’s never let me down.

All crew, all crew.

Okay, we’re going
to start heeling now.

- Woo!
- Ah!

Hell!

Ah!

, the boat’s
completely underwater.

This is sailing.

I haven’t bent over
this much in a long time.

My expectations for the
crew are higher every season.

You’re always trying
to take it up a notch.

If you’re not doing that,
you’re not doing your job.

- Get a bag, get
some ...ing ice in it.

If it’s not there,
we don’t have ice.

We bring more,
we’ve got... ing ice.

I don’t feel like I’m a
Chief Stew anymore.

I feel like I’m a
life skills coach.

No, no, back again.

- Girls.
- The other way.

This is all I do.
is just babysit.

Looks like someone’s
pissing Daisy off already.

Gary doesn’t have
game. That’s the thing.

I don’t know what it is.

There’s something on the boat,
there’s something in the water.

So cringe, Gary.

This season, I’m a free man.

I’ve got nothing tying me down.

I haven’t been
single in so long.

This is all new to me.

Am I in a... ing love triangle?

This is what I despise.

Oh my God.

People would describe
me as energetic...

Sensitive,

Ah!

I’m a chef. I’m a little crazy.

Lucky is my name, but
I’m a very unlucky person.

So I don’t really know
why they call me that.

I’m clumsy, which can
be taken for unlucky.

People either love
me or they hate me

when they first meet me.

What the is up with this guy?

Everybody’s making it.

Just think I’m too high
energy, extra, maybe crazy.

- Chase, read the room.
- Get up, bru.

I feel like I’ve a
bruise on my a*s.

I wouldn’t be opposed
to screwing the crew.

If we get some banter and
you can make me laugh,

we could probably
end up having sex.

I don’t have high
standards, guys.

Definitely not the peacekeeper.

I’m kind of the wild, chaotic,
black sheep part of the family.

I’ll have myself a hot
boy... European summer.

Parsifal, she had
a lot of problems,

but she’s never let me down.

What the?

What’s going on with
the smoke back there?

When we got smoke
pluming out the engine.

Come on, come on, come on.

For some reason, I
think we’re dragging.

We’re definitely
dragging into them now.

Drop some chain.

Holy sh... .

I want to die.

Oh, my God.

Daisy, why isn’t this done?
Daisy, why isn’t this done?

I’m so sick of hearing
my... ing name.

He’s just... ing
cut his head open.

Where the is the medical kit?

Woo!

Oh!

Ah! Damn it!

One, two, three, go.

My first time coming to Sardinia

was when I got my
first taste of yachting,

which was way back in 1984.

It’s got white sandy beaches,

endless anchorages,
beautiful turquoise water.

I love it. It’s really,
really special.

- Hello.
- Daisy!

How are you?

I’m good. How are you?

I’m great. I’m great.

At this point in my life, I
imagined I’d be married,

I’d have two children,
and here I am

still serving a
bunch of assholes,

and I just don’t understand
where it all went wrong.

I’m so pleased with the boat.

But no, it honestly feels pretty
good to be back on Parsifal

and I just hope to bring the
same motto as I do every season.

My way’s best.

Ooh, new crew mess seating.

Oh, it looks great down here.

Oh, I’m so happy.

Cheers.

Capitano!

Dude!

- How’s it going?
- I’m good.

Better now that you’re here.

It’s honestly so
good to be back.

I’ve missed Glenn,
I’ve missed the boat,

I’ve missed my friends.

Here we go.

Parsifal is always
so entertaining.

Get the popcorn out again.

How’s everything with you?

Good. I left my
boat in Costa Rica.

We’ve all gone to, kind
of, like, earn some money

and then we’ll
come back together

- in a couple of months.
- Sweet.

A few months ago,
my girlfriend and I

decided to go separate ways.

It didn’t really work out.

- Daisy’s down there.
- Is she?

- Yeah.
- Uh-oh.

I just want to prove
that I’m good at my job,

and I can get us
through the season okay.

Hopefully there’s
not too many hiccups,

and we just have a good time.

- Hi.
- How are you doing?

- How are you?
- How are you?

- Good.
- Good to see you.

Have you seen Gary lately?

I saw him in London
like a month ago, maybe.

You guys have any
steamy make-out sessions?

Oh, shut up.

- Did he tell you?
- Yeah, I heard.

...ing Gary.

So, Gary’s got Covid,

it’s, like, pretty much the
worst thing that can happen.

Oh, my God!

Every day, I’ve
been hopeful that

he’s going to have
a negative test,

but he keeps testing positive.

I don’t know when he’s coming.

It sucks massively.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Oh, my God. Hi!
- How are you?

- You are...
- Ileisha.

Where have you
arrived from today?

Sydney.

- Well, come on.
- Let’s do this.

I’ll introduce you to the
people that are here already.

I was in the restaurant
industry for a long time.

Then I started private
cheffing for families,

and they had a small yacht,

and I would go on
there for day charters,

and after that, I
was pretty much like,

okay, so how do
I work on yachts?

Fast forward eight
years, and it’s like,

why would I work in a
restaurant when you can

work in the elements?

Ileisha? This is Daisy.

- Hi.
- Our Chief Stew.

- How are you?
- Good. How are you?

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.

Welcome.

I’m a perfectionist, and I
just want to prove myself.

I definitely psych
myself out sometimes,

but I think hard work is
how you achieve great things.

Colin, this is
our chef. Ileisha?

Hello. How are you? Come here.

Yoo-hoo. Hey.

Hey. How you doing? I’m Glenn.

Nice to meet you. I’m Chase.

Chase, nice to meet
you. Welcome aboard.

Thank you so much
for the opportunity.

Where are you coming from today?

Charleston, South Carolina.

Charleston, okay.

Charleston is the hospitality
center of the South,

and we are all about
being on the water,

sailing, crabbing,

and that is why I
knew that yachting

was what I wanted to do.

- Let me grab my bag real quick.
- Okay.

You need a hand?

No, sir. I appreciate it.

Okay.

Went to Fort
Lauderdale and got a job

on an 80-meter motor yacht.

I want to retire
by the time I’m 30,

so I’m here to make money,
money, and also money.

I’m here to make some money.

- I’m Chase.
- Ileisha.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, Ileisha.

- Hi. I’m Daisy.
- I’m Chase.

You were the first to arrive,

so I presume you’re going
to want to be with the boys,

or you can be with
Glenn if you want.

- I’ll take the first.
- You’re with the boys? Okay.

Nothing against
Glenn. Appreciate it.

Oh, my God. Where do I start?

- Hello.
- I’m Glenn.

- Glenn, Alex.
- Alex, nice to meet you.

- Welcome aboard.
- Nice to meet you, man.

- Daisy.
- Hi.

Hi, Daisy.

- Daisy our chief.
- I’m Alex.

- Nice to meet you. Welcome.
- Nice to meet you.

I will show you to your
cabin, you’re with Glenn.

- Okay.
- You got this.

- You lucked out.
- Welcome aboard.

Pleasure, roomy.

So you’re going to
be in the top bunk.

- Okay.
- What’s up, brother?

- What’s up, man?
- Hi, I’m Alex.

Nice to meet you, Alex. Chase.

- Nice to meet you, brother.
- Colin.

Colin.

Gary isn’t here for the moment.

The two of you will
be on deck with him.

All right. Cool. Thank you.

- Hi, I’m Mads.
- I’m Glenn. Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
- Welcome aboard.

Thank you. Thank you.

Where are you
arriving from today?

I’m from Florida,
Fort Lauderdale area.

I grew up in Boca
Raton, Florida.

Boca Raton is a bunch
of old retired people

that have money and boats.

So getting into
yachting is really

the only thing you can do.

- Nice to meet you.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.

I’ve been a yachtie
for two years.

The hardest part
about it is the way I look.

People think I’m
going to be a b*tch.

But I swear, I’m a
ray of... ing sunshine.

So...

- I’ll share with you.
- You want to share with me?

- Mads, I’m Alex.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.

Thank you.

- Sorry if that was too heavy.
- You’re welcome.

You’re good. I think
it’s lighter than mine.

me.

Yeah, for sure.

This is pretty sweet.

Yeah, it’s a nice boat, huh?

It’s a nice marina, too.

- Ah, I’m caught.
- You okay?

Yeah, I’m already here.

- I’m Lucy.
- Nice to meet you.

Lucy, I’m Glenn.
Nice to meet you.

- Welcome.
- Hi, I’m Lucy.

- Nice to meet you.
- Sorry to interrupt.

Come on in. Is
that your stuff there?

- Yeah, sorry.
- Chase.

Of course, I got it.

Thanks, mate. Come on this way.

I’ll introduce you to everybody.

I grew up in a small
town in Penaf, in Wales,

where everyone knows
everyone, annoyingly.

- Hi.
- Hiya.

- So, that’s Mads, Lucy.
- Hi, I’m Lucy.

- Nice to meet you.
- Welcome.

I can speak Welsh
to a certain extent.

Thank you very much.

Just...

Oh, the best one
is service station.

Service station. That’s
what you need to know.

- Hey, roomy.
- Are you the chef?

- I’m the chef.
- Oh, my God. That’s so cool.

- Glenn.
- Yes?

Gary’s not here.

What do you want
me to do with the boys?

Yeah, we’re going
to figure that out.

Why don’t you go grab
Chase and just put together

a list of what you would do.

And then I’ll come up and
point out any other things

and then you guys
can get started on it.

That works.

Wow, so many goodies.

Oh, sh... .

- Hello.
- Hello.

I’m just looking at your CVs.

Cool.

So, I had drama last
year with second stew

and third stew so...

Yeah, that’s fine.

As far as I’m concerned,
we’re all a team.

I just want to learn
as much as I can, so...

I want to make sure
every charter you both get

to spend some
time with the guests.

First charter, I’m
going to do breakfast.

I’m going to do earlies. I
know where everything is.

Let’s do you get late
and let’s keep you

in the middles for the moment.

Where are you coming from?

Charleston, South Carolina.

Okay. Cool, man.

What about you?

I’m based out of
Fort Lauderdale.

I’m a captain in Miami area.

I just take groups of
people out for the afternoon.

I’m kind of a socially
charged person,

so my energy sometimes
comes from other people.

I would say I’m
empathetic, tough to read.

I know who I am and how I
affect other people around me.

I don’t have a
background in sailing.

Everything I’ve been on is
a motor yacht, but I mean,

it’s time to try
something next level.

I mean, like I
would start rinsing,

but I also don’t know
where anything is.

All crew, all crew, can I
get everybody in the salon?

We’re going to
have a little meeting.

Copy for deck.

- Hi, nice to meet you.
- I’m Chase.

- Madison. Mads.
- Madison.

Hi, I’m Lucy. Nice to meet you.

Alex. Pleasure.

What’s up, brother?

First of all, welcome.

Looks like we got a
good group of people here.

I’m looking forward to
a really good season.

You guys may have noticed
that our first officer, Gary,

is not here at the moment.

He has tested
positive for Covid.

We are a brand new deck crew,

and we’re supposed to
pick up charter tomorrow

without our boss on board.

We’re not ready.

I’m thinking
we’re kind of... ed.

Our first officer is not here.

He has tested
positive for Covid.

We’re following protocols,

and we will be getting
him on board soon.

Can’t say before
the first charter,

so I’m going to have to
ask all you guys to just

pitch in to pick up
the slack. All right?

I will be putting a lot of
trust in my department heads.

As far as I’m concerned, they
are God in their department.

I think that’s it.

I think we’re going to
have a great season.

Let’s get cracking on with it.

Thank you.

Colin, if we could
just have a quick chat.

I will get you two
detailing downstairs.

- Dude, we got no boss.
- Yeah.

Show what we’re
made of, I guess, right?

I guess.

What I’m thinking
is you could step

into the chief officer’s role.

You’ve got the experience,
you’ve got the certificates.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll
do whatever it takes.

I’m always willing to help out,

but Gary has over two
years experience on this boat.

We’re rubbing on the docking.

- Is the gennie on?
- Yeah.

Keep holding, keep holding.

The chains are off.

Me having to try
and fill that role,

you’ve got such
big shoes to fill.

So these guys
are good for today.

Alex, I think we’ve
got water in here.

First, let’s just
get that ball rolling.

In the meantime, I’ll keep
an eye on these guys.

- Okay.
- All right, thanks.

So, start with vacuuming.

Wipe, make the beds.

Do you want it
vinegared as well?

Yes.

Between Colin and I, we’re
going to cover for Gary.

Yes.

The c*ck, obviously will
need a really good tickle.

Painting supplies. Toilet paper.

Mops, chamois.

And the walls, mirrors,
and hang the towels.

I can you do stainless
if you want to do

- all the scuppers and stuff?
- Yeah.

Do you want to vac-dust
and I can do the bathroom or...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, Cap.

How are you feeling?

Just waiting for a
negative Covid test.

Colin and I are
going to cover it.

We’ve got a couple of
good deckhands here.

They’re already
cracking on with it.

I’m going to be lost for a
couple of days, you know?

Oh, for sure.

Yeah, man.

Anyway, dude,
follow the protocols.

We need to get you
back on here ASAP.

All right.

And is it a good
time to have a chat?

- Yes.
- Cool.

Well, obviously, I’m
going to try and give you

as much communication
as possible.

If I give you messages,
it comes from them.

Communication is
my favorite as well.

I’ll just, like, let you know
where I’m at all the time.

While I love the
creative freedom

that you have as a yacht chef,

the only thing I miss
about restaurants

is bouncing ideas
off with other chefs.

In yachting, I ask
a question out loud,

and then I’m like, hello?

Don’t ever be
afraid to ask for help.

Yeah.

But yeah, I think
that’s it, really.

Son of a b*tch.

Glenn, Glenn, Colin,
can you come down

to the engine room, please?

- Copy that.
- You got a girl back home?

I am single, and I
guess ready to mingle.

What’s going on?

- Okay.
- Give me, like, an hour.

Yeah, no worries.

Yeah.

- All right.
- Straight into it.

Ew.

All crew, all crew.

I think we have
provisions on the dock.

Do you want to start a line,

and I can run them
up the gangway?

Yeah, love that.

Teamwork makes the dream work.

Okay, make space, make space.

Bleh.

Yum.

Oh, Lord of Mercy.

Daisy, Ileisha, and Colin,
can you guys meet me in

the dining area for a
preference sheet meeting.

- Copy.
- Yes.

I hate pubes.

Look at me go.

Yeah.

Okay, so we have
eight for the first charter.

Stephanie works in
sales in Austin, Texas.

She’s got a group
of best girlfriends,

and is excited to
experience sailing

on such a large sailboat.

On night one, the
guests would like to have

a local Sardinian
dinner and an EDM party.

On day two, the guests
want to hang out at the beach

and then steak and seafood
with truffle on everything.

That’s specific.

I like specific.

What’s plan B if the
engine doesn’t run?

What?

I’m expecting to have
that engine running.

It’s gonna work.

Don’t worry, don’t
give up, dude.

- It’s gonna work.
- I’m not giving up.

- Thanks for your time.
- Thanks.

Do you have any
brothers or sisters?

Yeah, I have three
brothers. What about you?

I have a brother, yeah.

You know, that’s
what keeps me humble.

There’s brothers.

One of them still
just calls me fatty.

People can talk sh... to
me all day, and I’ll laugh.

Like, it’s fine. Everyone
thinks it’s so mean.

I’m like, listen, it’s been


I like to play around. I
like to be the eternal child.

So even if it’s talking
sh... , it’s genuinely a joke.

And some people will
create arguments and whatnot

and I’ll be like,
bro, I was kidding.

Honestly, like, being
mean, that’s like jokes.

Like, it’s not...

It’s not that deep, you
know what I mean?

Copy.

We’ve eight girls, so I think
we should do the pull-out bad

and the two Pullmans.

Okay, here’s the low down.

Yeah. So just this first
gear will spin in neutral.

There’s a problem either
with the engine or the gearbox.

The only way to
tell is to separate

the gearbox from the engine.

This is probably the worst news
that I could receive right now.

We need the motor because
you can’t sail a boat off the dock.

I mean, people are
chartering a boat.

Not to sit on the
dock, it’s not a hotel.

They want to go somewhere.

If we can’t start the
engine, we’re... ed.

I didn’t even know what
best case scenario was.

Got a lot done for
not really knowing

where anything is.

Dude, I think we’re
looking pretty... ing solid.

This b*tch is sparkling.

Hey, how are you doing?

- Downstairs is done now.
- Awesome.

We can be done for the night.

I’m impressed with the girls.

I think their initiative and their
common sense seems great.

They’ll be Mini Daisy
One and Mini Daisy Two

by the end of the season.

Confident stews. My
dream has come true.

Yeah, want ’rona.

You guys can knock it
on the head for today.

- Cheers, everybody.
- Cheers.

Aprons off. First night.

New fam bam.

So somebody’s got to be missing
somebody from home, right?

I haven’t missed
someone since 1999.

Well, I’ve been single
for like four years

and then like a
couple of weeks ago,

my ex-boyfriend came
back from England.

Oh, no.

And we’ve kind
of like rekindled.

- I’ve been single a year.
- A year.

You’ve been how long?

I’m just going to
check on Colin.

I love how we’re all blonde.

You and Gary are going
to have hair competition.

How can I help you?

All we’re doing is disconnecting
the gearbox from the engine.

Is there any chance we
can pull out a miracle tonight?

Are all the boys down here?

I’m glad you got to Chase
to handle all the nuts.

Let’s bring that right forward.

It’s separated.

It’s off, Glenn.

Okay. Cool.

Let’s go have a beer.

I’m so clumsy.

Yeah, I broke my
nose when I was drunk.

How?

So I went like that,
smacked in the middle.

- And you broke it?
- Yeah.

The boys are back.
How’s it going?

Um, so we have an
issue with the main engine.

We’re not going off
the dock tomorrow.

So we’re going to have to
keep these guys entertained.

I’m devastated
that we can’t move,

but it’s kind of a
blessing in disguise.

I don’t have a first
mate around to show us

how to get on and off the dock.

All the deck team has
to do on this charter

is keep the boat clean
and distract the guests

with a little bit
of a good time.

Make sure you guys get
some good rest tonight.

- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.

So we’ll start at
eight tomorrow, boys.

I think we can start at eight.

Look at all of us
being so responsible.

A lot to do tomorrow first day.

Right.

Okay, how do I get up here then?

What?

Everything’s hanging out.

In this machine,
Gary had his coffee,

like tailored to him, so
it had like Gary’s coffee.

You miss him.

Well, it’s weird not
having him here.

Yeah.

We need to get the main
saloon done, face towels,

and lemons and lime squeezed.

Probably go over the
stainless one more time, right?

Yeah.

I’ll show you
around the lazerette.

I know how much I’ve got
going on in the engine room.

I’m not going to be
able to help out on deck

as much as anyone would like.

Mask and snorkels and
stuff are probably in here.

So I’m going to tell
them everything I know

because I want to see
these guys succeed

because if they succeed,
then we all succeed.

There’s the blocking pins.

Once they’re out, then
you can operate the door.

- All good?
- All good.

Cool. I’ll leave
you guys to it, eh?

Thanks, brother.

At this point, if
they get it running,

we’re not prepared
for water sports.

- Yeah, you’re right.
- No stress, man.

Woo!

We are finito.

Just have to detail the head.

Girls, the cabins
look great. Well done.

- Hey, dude, how you doing?
- Yeah, not good.

Sh... .

Yeah, I don’t think
it works like that.

Rog, okay.

Well, we’re not leaving
the dock anytime soon.

We’re not able
to start the engine.

Yeah, we’ve already
started thinking about

all that kind of
stuff. All righty?

Talk to you later.

So, how is everything upstairs?

- Fine.
- Looks good.

I think we smashed it.

I need to marinate this chicken,

and then horseradish cream.

It’s going to come together.

All crew, all crew.

Guests will be
here in 30 minutes.

Let’s get everybody
into uniform.

Oh, sh... .

All right.

You’re going to be at the
front of the line with the napkins,

and you’re going to be at
the end with the champagne.

Are you coming up
for the meet and greet?

I guess so. Now?

- It’s pretty soon, yeah.
- Okay.

Oh, my God, my heart.

All crew, all crew.

Let’s get everyone into
the c*ck now please.

Just testing it. I’m going.

The boat is looking sexy.

- Yes, you got it, girls?
- Got it.

So pretty.

Okay, Daisy, let’s go.

You guys are going
to be lined up here.

Just before Daisy’s tour,
I’m going to let them know

what’s going on with the engine.

Okay, Daisy, let’s
go down on the dock,

so we’re not surprised.

Ileisha.

Oh, my God. That
boat is beautiful.

Ileisha.

Ileisha.

- Coming.
- Okay, they’re coming.

That is gorgeous.

- Where do you want me?
- Lead the line up.

Oh, my gosh. It’s so pretty.

I am just still
dripping with sweat.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Welcome to Sardinia.

- Thank you.
- I’m Captain Glenn.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Stephanie.
- This is...

- Hi, I’m Daisy.
- This is Daisy.

- Nice to meet you.
- I’m Captain Glenn.

It’s not going to
be easy for Glenn

to be the bearer of bad news,

but it’s me who has to deal with

the pressure to make
the guests happy

and have, you know,
incredible memories.

Hello. Ileisha.

- Karen, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

So the current plan is to
keep their glasses topped up,

their stomachs full,
and their memory short.

Well, I wanted to
welcome you on board.

We got a lot of great
stuff planned for you.

I hate to be the
bearer of bad news,

but I wanted to tell you
we have had a little problem

with our main engine.

We’re in the process of
figuring out exactly what it is.

I don’t think we’re going to be
able to get off the dock today.

As soon as I have news,
I’ll let you guys know,

but we’ve got our tender.

We’ve got all of our toys.

We can still do the beach
setup and all that stuff.

I’m very sorry.

So I’m going to pass
you over to Daisy now,

and she’s going to take
you on a little tour of the boat.

If you want to follow
me up the stairs,

I’ll bring you up
to the flybridge.

Sounds good.

Glenn, you’re
breaking our hearts.

Ugh...

So up here, we
have the flybridge.

Even though we’re
still in the dock,

there is quite a nice view.

The hot tub is
behind you as well.

Okay.

Down here, we have
the main saloon area,

which is obviously a bit cooler.

- Oh, this is beautiful.
- So nice.

Woo-wie.

Here, we have two triple
cabins, both the exact same,

so nobody has
to fight over them.

Come on, Hercules. We got it.

And in here is the master.

- Steph, this is your vibe.
- Spacious.

- Are you ladies excited?
- Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Great. Have a look around.

I think the chef has
prepared some canapés,

- so I’ll bring them up for you.
- Thank you.

- You’re welcome.
- Cheers.

A nice one, boys.

- When are we getting drunk?
- Now.

Would you like a top off?

Yes, please.

I’m just going to
make this perfect.

Cheers.

Let’s go outside.

Phew!

Mac and cheese truffle arancini.

Let’s keep going.

These are mac and
cheese truffle arancini bowls.

Can y’all make, like,
an espresso martini?

Yeah, absolutely.

I’m on a liquid diet.

And this is rib eye
with horseradish cream.

When you’re on a new boat,

the first meal you
cook has to look good,

it has to taste good, and
you have to wow them.

So this is rib eye with
horseradish cream.

Wow.

Okay, so maybe I won’t
just be on a liquid diet.

I know what everyone’s thinking.

Is she a sh... chef?
Is she amazing?

- This food is amazing.
- They seem happy with them.

Good. Okay.

I might look young and small,

but I’ve been
cooking for 16 years.

Don’t mess with me.

This bloke is going back

because I can’t find
the right pump for it,

and I don’t have anyone
to tell me where it is.

Do you guys have
a schedule already?

No, we haven’t.

Someone will stay up late,
keep an eye on the guests,

but you don’t have to stay
up for anchor watch, obviously.

I want to do something.

I don’t want to just sit
here and drink all day.

- I’ll stay up late.
- Okay.

I just wanted to
come in and check in

and see how you guys are doing.

- Hi.
- Great.

Yeah, good.

But why are we on the dock now?

So what are our
options? What can we do?

- Different options.
- Okay.

We can go in the tender.
We can bring some toys.

- That would be fun.
- Little tour.

Why don’t we just
do like a tender ride?

- That might be fun.
- It’s really pretty.

This area is beautiful.

Tomorrow we’re
actually leaving, right?

That’s the plan, but I
can’t promise right now.

As I get more updates,
I’ll let you know.

All right. Cool.

- Thank you, Glenn.
- Thank you, Captain Glenn.

Thank you.

That thing’s not going
down. I pressed this.

Yeah.

They want to go
for a tender ride.

Okay.

- They can go for a little swim.
- Send Alex.

He’s hot, and the guests
will love that eye candy.

You had the plug in.

Alex, Glenn, can you take
the guests for a tender ride?

Start getting toys
and stuff ready

because they’re going
to go in like 15 minutes.

Copy that.

We’re doing shots, Tito’s.

You’re going to go over here.

Make sure you’ve got an anchor

and a decent line
in your tenders.

All right. Thank you.

Day charters with drunk guests
is my specialty back home.

I’m hoping I can
knock it out of the park.

I just want to keep
pumping them full of Tito’s.

That’s my method
going into this.

I think they’re ready to go.

Yeah. So it’s Alex taking them.

Ah!

Grab them. Motorboat them.

I do! I want to so hard.

If you are ready, follow
me down the dock.

I wondered if you had an idea of
what time dinner you would like.

Kare-Bear, let’s go.

Oh, my God.
They’re all so drunk.

Bye, y’all. Have fun.

Bye.

- Hey, Colin.
- I’ll be in the engine room.

We’re aiming for


- Okay.
- And they’re hammered.

Woo!

You’re in.

Get up!

Perfect!

Um, have you decided
what are you going to do?

- For?
- Dinner.

I’m going to do some oysters.

Lobster. I’m going
to do some bay fillet.

Okay.

Guests have requested
a local Sardinian dinner.

So I straight away think all
things tomato and olive oil

and seafood.

Family style or is it
going to be plated?

Family style. That’s the vibe.

I think everything
is going to be delish.

Thank you, hotty-hots.

- You’re welcome.
- For a serving of our drinks.

We can go back, whatever
you guys are ready, go back.

Chase, Alex, headed
back to the boat.

Copy that.

All right, Alex, I’ll get you.

There you go.

You’re so naughty.

Yeah, absolutely.

- Good?
- Yeah.

Hey, what’s going on?

- I hit another roadblock.
- Okay.

The engine’s full of water.

Can I ask you a real question?

Do you think we’re really
getting off the dock tomorrow?

I guarantee this boat’s
not moving for a few days.

Do you think we’re really
getting off the dock tomorrow?

The engine’s full of water.

Yeah.

I have barely spoken
to the engineers.

So that’s not good
news, obviously.

I guarantee this boat’s
not moving for a few days.

The after cooler is
meant to cool down

the air going into the
engine using salt water.

But there’s been a malfunction,

and that salt water has
ended up inside the engine,

where there’s only
meant to be pure, clean oil.

That’s bad news,
but still got a chance.

Any time you have an
issue of this magnitude,

it would be irresponsible of me

to continue to try
tackle this alone.

We need to get the
manufacturer of this engine

to come give me their opinion.

Let’s get local Cat
guys down here, ASAP.

I’m on board with all of that.

Would you mind going down
and getting into your blacks

- really quickly, please?
- Yeah.

And then the two
of you can go up

and start setting
up the EDM party.

Okay.

Hey, dude, I got a little
bit of an emergency.

I need to get a Caterpillar
engine guy, ASAP, onto the boat.

Thanks.

Some blacks on,
boy! Let’s get sexy.

Copy.

Do you want to
blow some balloons?

Welcome aboard
Parsifal, my name is Karen,

and I’ll be your Chief Stew.

Please tell me that looks good.

Amazing.

Oh, my God. Wow.

This is gorgeous.

When everyone is up,
you’re going to do turn-downs.

You’re going to do
dinner service with me.

Karen, you’re looking Aphrodite.

When I die, I’m going
to come back as a man,

so I don’t have
to do any of this.

I can just put on boxer
shorts and be bald,

and I’ll be like...

- Okay, the guests are seated.
- Want me to take these?

Fresh local oysters
with a cabsab vinaigrette.

Here we have fresh local
oysters with a cabsab vinaigrette.

Lobster and shrimp
ravioli with truffle.

Roasted tomato puree sauce

with asparagus and
shaved Parmesan cheese.

Does this look
like an EDM party?

It kind of looks like a
seven-year-old’s birthday party.

This is phenomenal.

We have lobster
and shrimp ravioli.

Oh, wow.

Beef filet with
roasted garlic puree.

I would have to say the
chef has hit a home run.

The steak is, like, phenomenal.

Try the steak. It’s so good.

Okay, that’s it. That was wild.

We can’t get them off the dock.

At least if we can get them
boozed up and in a hot tub,

we’ll be okay.

We get to go to bed.

Let’s see how we
go in the morning.

You can go wash all
that diesel out of your hair.

Oh, man.

Cheers, ladies. We’re all here.

Dinner, first night.

- Where’s my wine glass?
- You want some more?

- Yeah, please.
- Okay.

- What would you like?
- Everything.

Just go. Go. Surprise me.

Whoa!

Mary Lynn, are you Okay?

I’m totally fine.

It happened to the fun one.

- You okay?
- It happened to the fun one.

Blow the whistle on her.

She’s on violation.

- Are you okay, babe?
- Totally good.

Thank you for coming to my aid.

I love how you all
came to my rescue.

And, like, Ashley from the
other side’s, like, over there.

All y’all just sit there.

No, I don’t think so.

Hey, guys.

When you have a second,

will you put on, like,
makeup and sh...?

See if I can wipe
out this chair.

Mary Lynn.

Whoa! Sh...!

Nobody wipes out twice.

I’m fine, I’m fine.
I’m totally fine.

Jesus, mother of God.

Mary Lynn, why did you do that?

Hey, go big or go home.

We should go get our outfits on.

- Okay, let’s do that.
- Ready?

Thank you.

You guys say "than kyew."

- Thank you.
- "Than kyew."

Thanks. That’s what
you say. Thanks.

This is kind of intimate.

I don’t just let any
girl do my makeup.

- Chase.
- Coming.

Are you going to get topless?

- Should I?
- Yeah.

Party.

I heart EDM.

Well, we better make some money.

I want a wig, though.
That’s all I care about.

Let’s go!

Let’s get some party!

Get some EM... whatever,
CPR music. I don’t care.

Play it.

What a day.

This is a rager, huh?

Woo!

Shake that moneymaker.

My little hammer.

Woo!

- You can’t get fired.
- Yeah!

That’s your man
right over there.

Woo!

Oh, man!

I can’t.

Coming up...

Engine is swimming.

How long would it take
him to fix this problem?

If it’s going to take


Woo!

Can you give me a lap dance?

Woo!

That’s your man
right over there.

Oh, man!

Oh, my God!

- Oh!
- Yeah!

No.

Chase, you can go to bed.

All right. Good night.

Oh, thank you, Jesus.

Oh my gosh.

- Oh!
- Oh, sh...!

I’m going to bed now.

So, here’s the deal.

I might just spend
some time on this.

My sister is like so much
artsy fartsier than me.

Maybe if you crush this, you
can send her a picture and see.

- No.
- Look, Mom.

We were both talented.

What a day.

Do you guys know
what time you’re starting?



- Is that good with you?
- Yeah, yeah.

You guys are on to it.

Who’s going to marry me?

Do you want to get to bed?

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

We all go to bed.
Somebody let me know.

I’m getting ready to go to bed.

I’m tired.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Day two.

This should have
been done last night.

...ing body paint.

Good morning, Captain.

Did you guys
rinse the top sides?

Yes, sir.

Of course, we’ll get
rid of all garbage, huh?

Okay.

Are they enjoying themselves,
despite being at the dock?

I think they’re disappointed.

Buongiorno.

Okay, gentlemen, we’re
going to go this way.

Colin can get you started.

- Okay.
- Good morning, brother.

- How was last night?
- Late.

Have you turned
over the laundry?

- I’m just about to go do that.
- Okay.

- Ciao.
- Ciao ciao.

I got all the decor taken
down, all the balloons,

and then I wiped
down the stainless steel.

You ladies look fresh.

- Do we really?
- Yeah.

- What would you like?
- Mimosas.

The damn fly
bridge was just awful.

All the damn body paint.

Oh, I love that sound.

We found a happy man.

I love that sound.

Maybe we get
rid of all this trash

so we can make
some space in here.

Would you like me to start
bringing you some breakfast?

- Yes, please.
- Of course.

Any updates?

Yeah.

Jesus.

Now that we’ve pulled
the after cooler off,

we can see that
the air intake is

completely full of salt water.

The engine is swimming.

Is there water in
there right now?

Yeah.

Down at the bottom there.

We need to rebuild the engine.

It’s full of water inside.

How long would it take
them to fix this problem?

- 15 days of work.
- Yeah.

Just to take it apart
and put it back together.

If it’s going to take 15
days, our season is finito.

We’re done.

This season on "Below
Deck Sailing Yacht..."

I just wanted to
remind everybody

that super yachting
is not about the 95%.

It’s about the last 5%.

We should always be
pushing for that last 5%.

Nice.

Oh!

The shirt’s off, huh?

I’m on a yacht, mother... er.

See my chain, b*tch?

Yeah!

My two deckies.

They’re fighting over you.

See how you flirt
with everyone else.

I’m not flirting.

That’s just my personality.

Are we dating? What’s the issue?

Who do you have
your eye on, Colin?

You’re a single man.

Be honest with me.
Do you like Daisy?

No, I like her as a friend.

Did you guys hook up last night?

You know you like me deep down.

And I feel you hooking
up to get back at me

by hooking up.

Ah!

You’re bleeding.

This can’t happen again.
Those things are expensive.

I don’t know how long
I can put up with this.

Everything is my fault.

The guests are
unhappy, it’s my fault.

I can’t win. I’m
constantly losing.

Glenn, we’ve got smoke
pluming out of the engine.

For some reason, I
think we’re dragging.

Holy sh... .

We’re definitely
dragging into them now.

You really
shouldn’t be this far.

Holy sh... .

What tissue are you
wearing tonight, Colin?