01x07 - Peter Grill and the Battle of the Fates

[bunniefuu]

Go on, Sir Peter.

Please enjoy your meal!

I-It looks great...

Senpai...

Did you actually sleep with that farm animal?

We came here for a dose of your meat sauce,

only to discover this lowly pig...

And an insufferable Elf!

Don't make me laugh.

Peter Grill's giblet juices...

Belong to our great Elven race!

You don't say...?

And how shall we settle this?

A fight to the death, perhaps...

A fight to the death, perhaps...

L-Ladies, please!

L-Ladies, please!

Don't k*ll each other 'cause of me...!

Wowie, you're surprisingly weak, ain'tcha?

When you strip away their ability to use magic,
Elves are quite the pathetic creatures.

Damned barbarians...!

Cut it out.

Ganging up on someone who can't defend
themselves isn't very nice, y'know.

C'mon.

Are you alright?

Y-Yes...

I am unharmed...

Time out! What the hell is that about!?

We got dibs on Senpai 'cause we saw him first!

We take priority over her!

Such an argument means nothing.

I have no doubt that you uncivilized Ogres...

Took advantage of this man's weaknesses
and forced him to do your bidding!

Yeah, you're one to talk...

And who exactly is this Orc, anyway!?

I-I'm...

I joined the Yakeppachi Warriors Guild
as a personal assistant to Sir Peter.

My name is Piglette!

If I'm understanding correctly,
the four of us are here for the same reason.

We all wish to acquire Sir Peter's seed.

Peter Grill is the man whom I've chosen as my husband.

The idea of a dim-witted Orc such as yourself

defeating a member of the proud
Elven race such as I is truly laughable.

I-I had no intention of hogging Sir Peter
to myself from the start!

I-I'm perfectly content with being one of his mistresses!

Such a permissive attitude...

How does she maintain her composure...?

Those things!?

She laughed!

Curse you...!

I'll teach you to laugh at the size of my chest...!

C-Calm down!

The little wretch had the audacity to laugh at me!

Piglette wasn't laughing at anyone just now.

Yes, she was!

Sounds like someone's kinda paranoid...

It appears that conflict is inevitable, after all.

She laughed at me!

Therefore,

in the interest of establishing
a hierarchy amongst ourselves...

we shall compete using our feminine wiles.

Fine with me!

I-In that case...

C-Count me in!

What? What!? What!?

Somebody, please... Make it stop!

Agape!

This is Agape,

a fairy with the ability to quantify male arousal.

N-No, not more sorcery...!

The rules are simple enough:

Whoever manages to cause the most excitement
in Peter Grill's pants is the winner!

Very well!

Okie-dokie...

We'll go first.

Whoa!

Slow down, you two!

Now then...

What's the matter with me...!?

There's gotta be something in here...!

Uh, that's Tim's room...

Wh-What do you think?

"She has a flat chest."

Why do you refuse to get
an erection in my presence!?

N-Now it's my turn...!

Piglette, your outfit...

Huh?

The ol' naked apron!

Survey says...!

But I... haven't done anything yet...

Every man's dream!

It's not fair! Why are her boobs so damn big!?

Oh, Sir Peter...

A formidable foe...

A formidable foe...

A formidable foe...

A formidable foe...

A formidable foe...

A formidable foe...

Boobs are off-limits!

Oh dear, how embarrassing for you!

Well, she's flatter than a pancake.

Take it easy, you two!

You mustn't tease her like that...

I'm begging you... Stop the madness...

Enough with the–

T-Tim!?

Dude, help me out!

You gotta break up this fight!

Peter, if you wanna stop a fight...

Use this!

Booze!?

C'mon, ladies!

Time for a drink!

Down the hatch!

One slice of pork,

two slices of pork...

I'm sowwrie...

I'm suh sowwrie!

This is a special ocassion!

We shall drink the night away!

Yea!

Summore alcohols, pleez!

Cheers!

I've gotta admit, the alcohol helped lighten the mood...

But for some reason, I can't shake this bad feeling...

I knew it!

Come along, Peter Grill...

There's still plenty to go around.

N-No thanks, I'm good...

There's no need to be shy...

Sir Peter...

Please have some more to drink.

W-Wait... That's enough for–

Summore, summore!

No...

Knock it off!

I know exactly what you're trying to do!

Pump me full of alcohol and pressure me
into your disgusting behavior, right!?

Too bad!

Luvellia-senpai and I are destined for one another!

And I...

For as long as I live...

I won't give in to temptation ever again!

He said the thing!

Huh!?

Wha–?

What's the rush?

Time and booze...

We've got plenty of both to spare.

Huh?

What happened last night...?

Oh no...

Did I... betray Luvellia-senpai again!?

H-Hey!

Nothing happened yesterday, right!?

Right!?

You were awfully enthusiastic last night...

Your arousal levels were off the charts.

This is all that was left.

Agape-san...

My back feels like jelly!

I didn't expect such a vigorous workout...

You were incredible, Sir Peter...

From now on, in order to avoid this type of situation...

...we must agree upon an official set of terms.

Dear Sir Peter Grill,

"Harmony is the greatest of virtues."

The mindset of treating everyone as equals is getting
more popular nowadays, don'tcha think?

Episode Peter Grill and the Battle of the Fates

The chance to be a hero is long gone...

Dug myself into a hole with no way out

Back against the wall...

I mean, how could I resist?

"This wasn't supposed to happen,"

I keep denying

I wish I could just disappear...

I wish I could just disappear...

I wish I could just disappear...

I can't stand myself

Moping around, spouting lies, grieving a broken heart

I hold on desperately to these feelings and shut my eyes

So why does this stupid guilt refuse to go away!?

So why does this stupid guilt refuse to go away!?

I suffocate under its weight

The chance to be a hero is long gone...

Always discouraged by my weaknesses,

I drop to my knees and grovel at your feet,

clinging selfishly to the hope for forgiveness

Dug myself into a hole with no way out...

Full of regret and powerless to change,

I feel my heart being torn apart

on this night of endless shame and despair

Why can't I get my act together?

Got nothing but this pathetic self of mine...

It started out as a simple crush

Suddenly, you were my biggest source of strength

Till death do us part, let's grow old together

This is my sincerest wish:

Stay with me, stay with me

So long time, by my side for all eternity

Beaten down by our daily struggles

Or soaked by a storm of rage;

If you get drenched, I won't hesitate

To be the umbrella that shields you

It's not so cold... I'm by your side

That's good enough for me

You're my rock, my strength

That smile of yours puts my soul at ease

I could search the whole world over

And find no one like you

You're my rock, my strength

Just the sight of you fills my heart with joy

No matter how much it may hurt,

I pledge my life to protecting you

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A Treaty Regarding Allocation of Peter Grill's Reproductive Resources

Episode Peter Grill and the Secret Treaty