04x07 - Torn

[bunniefuu]

- So you got a basic kitchen,
bathroom. The TV works.

There's two or three
positions each year

where practising surgeons
will take on foreign doctors.

- Disappearing from your
life, that was me being scared

that I'd never be able
to build anything.

- I'm thinking
about having a kid.

And if I do something
that crazy by myself,

I need to know that my
work environment is stable.

- It's been decided that he's gonna
be transitioning out of Trauma OR

and no longer connected to
the emergency department.

- Dr. Devi, I appreciate your
faith in me, and I plan to earn it.

- Hydromorphone?
Mags, what is this?

- If you have plain, Claire,
that pain should be managed.

- They'll be retrieving the
donor heart late tonight.

- First thing in the
morning, we'll get going.

- I can't see a future
unless you're in it.

This is real, Mags.

Hey...

It's 6:30.

How long have you been out?

About an hour.

Was Amira awake when you left?

- No, but I left her a
note and made her lunch.

It's weirdly quiet out
there for a Monday.

Oh, and I brought
your fancy clothes.

- Thank you.

- Are you nervous?

- Dr. Robitaille says he wants
me to meet the whole team.

Whatever that means.

- It means he wants
to make you an offer.

Just make sure it's
got extended medical.

It'd cover Amira's braces.

Me saying that doesn't
mean it's not gonna happen.

The broker came back with
some options, but also,

June says I can keep my
room if we want a slow burn.

- Just tell the broker
we need two bathrooms

because you and Amira refuse
to hang up your towels.

- Hey, we have a
system, alright?

- Hey, remember when HR
called me as I was working

into the hospital to tell me
the position had been filled?

- That happened only one
time at a different house...

- The bed shook!

Every time my arm moves
even an inch, it kills.

- Yeah, I don't
know what that was.

Anyway, I... think it's over.

Um... Okay.

Charlotte, tell me
about your elbow.

- I fell off the curb. It was 5:30
this morning and I was fast-walking.

- Exercising? Can
you bend it a little?

- While studying for midterms.

University
applications are soon.

Yes, I know my skin is dry.

- You know which school
you want to go to?

- There's five on my list
with good pre-med tracks.

Not like when you were
applying and every nice guy

with a B average got in.

- "Nice guy, B average."
Charlotte, I don't think

I've ever been summed
up so astutely.

- I didn't mean to...
It's just stressful.

- Okay.

Were you dizzy?

Alright, well, I'm gonna
get you on IV fluids

because you are
a bit dehydrated.

When was your last period?
- Why?

- Well, it's just one of the
standard questions we ask.

And you'll probably get
asked again at X-ray.

- I don't... really get them.

- Do you know why?

Because sometimes
stress or change in diet

can cause cycles to
stop for a while.

- Actually, can you go now?

If I have to wait
here, I should study.

- Earthquakes in Toronto?
Is that even a thing?

- Closest fault lines are Quebec and
western New York, but we do get tremors.

Just... nobody
usually feels them.

- Well, apparently, this one
was big enough to shake loose

one of those giant lit
billboards over Yonge.

- That's "act of God" scary.

- More like "we ruined
the planet" scary.

- Actually, earthquakes
are not influenced

by climate change...
"Shut up, Arnold," got it.

- Hey, Claire, remember
a few years back

when a chunk of the
overpass collapsed?

People were more
scared than injured

so you got that place
to send free pizza?

- Set up for worst-case
scenario, clear the curtains.

Anything non-urgent,
boot it to the hallway.

- Alright, let's make sure we're
ready with fresh frozen plasma.

- And packed red
cells and platelets.

I'll meet you in there.

June, let's go!

- Yeah, I'm coming.

- What'd he say?
- Who?

- Singh, about staying on
in Trauma OR, full-time?

- Mags...
- You said if the line

was still there
today, you'd ask him

because the random rotation
of bosses you're saddled with

won't work with getting
your life organized.

- Yeah, just chill out. I've
been here for two minutes.

- 22, and you're stalling.
- Oh, my God, I'm not stalling.

It's just, like, being
a few weeks... late.

It's not a big deal.
Remember two months ago?

Do you remember two
months before that?

- Yeah, those times you were
only late three or four days.

- Oh, look, my abdo trauma.
- June...

- Natalia Bury, 51. BP's holding
at 105 over 75, heart rate's 170.

Left upper quadrant pain. She was
right underneath it when it fell.

- When the cloud fell.
- Okay, Natalia, look at me.

Can you tell me where it hurts?
- Please, find Danny.

- Is Danny a loved one?

- Did she just say
the cloud fell on her?

- She means the billboard. The mechanical
sky diorama thing around the corner.

- It's okay, Natalia, I'll
get somebody to find Danny.

- Bashir?

- I can reschedule if
you need all hands.

- We'll be fine. But I got
a call from public health.

Out of province this time.
Some kind of chemical spill,

and they asked if you'd
call the doctor there

since there's overlap
with your experience.

- Okay, I'll get in touch.

- Good luck at St. Agnes today.

- Three lacerations from
shattered glass, four fractures,

and the guy in five
has electrical burns.

- Hopefully, this ends
as quickly as it started.

- Uh, displaced elbow needs
imaging and fluids, Rhoda.

If you're swamped,
I can do both.

- Thanks, Theo.
- Fluids for a displaced elbow?

- Well, she's 17, and I think
struggling with an eating disorder.

- And you want her
admitted for it?

- Hard to know. I saw lanugo,
dry skin, her cycle stopped.

I tried getting her talking,
but she stonewalled pretty hard.

- Maybe send in the
adolescence psychiatrist.

Someone more suited to tactfully
break through that stone wall.

- Uh, sure, if you
think that's best.

- Great!

- Dr. Hamed? Jay Penney.

I'm a doctor in the
north of Labrador,

and the provincial health officer
said you have some expertise here?

- Dr. Penney, are you alright?
- Thing is, I don't know.

We had a truck crash about
four hours ago, okay?

The driver was dead. At first,
we figured it was just trauma,

but eventually, we realized
he was hauling pesticides

which shared
properties with sarin.

Is that something
you know about?

- I have experience there, yes.

Uh, how large is
the exposure area?

Are you seeing
people with symptoms?

- I started seeing patients

with respiratory problems.

- Okay, you need a
decontamination team.

Um, do you know the exact
name of the chemical?

- Uh, I'll find out.

I'm told they're coming, bu.

And I'm two years out of residency and
the only doctor for 500 kilometres.

I need somebody to talk me t.

- He's dead! I
think he's dead!

- Carmen, grab a crash cart.

- Oh, my God, Dad, no!
- What happened, ma'am?

- We've been here all night. I just left
for an hour to take my kid to school.

No, no, he didn't want that.

Is he...

- I'm very sorry, ma'am.

- He came to you for help.
How could you let him die

in the hall like a piece
of garbage? Shame on you!

- All the guy has up there is a
part-time nurse and some volunteers.

He needs mitigation strategies.

- I'm away for what,
like a fortnight?

And already the guy's
got a side hustle?

- Dr. Novak, you left Trauma OR

to go back to ICU
six months ago.

- Has it been that long? No wonder
I'm so charmingly refreshed.

- How many people were exposed?
- They don't know.

The truck crashed
downwind of a small town.

Houses, local business,
and a K through 12 school.

It's blocking the
only road out of town.

- Organophosphate pesticides cause
everything from resp distress to paralysis.

- I'd recommend a full-scale evacuation
of half a mile in every direction,

but they're so remote that medevac and
decontamination teams are still hours away.

- A vapour is gonna get into the low-line
areas so higher ground is better.

- Yeah, large exposure,
it'll start interacting

with the nervous system
within 10 minutes.

- If it's inhaled, I
told them to look out

for pin-point pupils, runny
nose, broncho-constrictions...

- Fluid accumulation in the
airways of the lungs. Dyspnea.

- Do they have any pralidoxime?

- And a small
amount of atropine.

Theo, for pediatric dose?

- I can get you a
crib sheet by weight.

- Can you both compile
some detailed instructions

and text them to me? I'll call
them on the way to my interview.

- Sure.
- What interview?

- St. Agnes.
- When does your residency end?

- Three weeks.
- Huh.

That place is barely a
notch above urgent care.

It's not really your tempo. Is
it... Is it really what you want?

- Of the EDs looking, they're
the ones I found traction with.

- Oh. Whatever, just go, and then
when it gets intolerable, move on.

- No, not everyone is as comfortable
with that kind of transience.

- Coming from a man
whose content to work

for a chief who loathes
him and always will.

I mean, welcome to the club,

the loathing part,
but the content part?

That's all you.
- Yeah, well, we may have started off a little rocky,

but you know, at least
I'm trying to fix it.

- Aw, denial looks good on ya.

- Text me those dosing
instructions when you can.

- Yeah...

- He was in late-stage cancer.
Admitting was trying to find him

and move him to palliative. And his
daughter was upset because he was alone.

- Which nurse found him?
- Rhoda.

Carmen said she needed five.
- Rhoda?

Needed more than five. She quit.
- Because of this?

- Because nothing works
here and she's fed up.

- That isn't fair. You
know I've made the point

our nurses need more
support so many times.

Admin doesn't even
hear it anymore.

- You didn't return my texts.
- What's there to say?

The doctor you referred me to while
you were away says I need to taper off.

That's fine.
- Well, if you're not

and you need help doing
that or aren't ready to,

I still want to help.
- I said I'm fine.

- Well, we talked
about accountability...

- Oh, Bishop used to laugh
at wide-eyed idealist Mags.

He said, one of these
days, we're all gonna be

working for you.

After everything
you've been through,

I don't understand why'd you
even come back to this place.

- Natalia Bury, 51 years
old, earthquake victim.

- They're saying it
was a magnitude of 4.1.

- CT's saying grade
5 shattered spleen.

So it's coming out.
- Laparoscopic for blunt trauma?

Bold. How'd she take the news?

- By the time we were done imagining,
she wasn't cogent enough to consent.

She was asking for Danny,
but Danny's not here.

So... If we don't go now...

- There won't be anywhere to go.
- Exactly. Pen.

She been tacky the whole time?

- Just a couple of
fluctuations. Scalpel.

Uh, I don't think I see sinus.

- You... think she's having
a heart attack on the table?

Have you seen that before?
- Once.

We draped and echoed to assess it
was truly a wall-motion abnormality.

Which is how I suggest
we play this one, too.

- I, uh... Dr. Singh,
I don't know.

- June, what are you saying?

- I, uh... Okay, I'll just finish
with the ports, and then we can stop.

- You don't sound convinced.

- I'm worried about
her hemorrhaging.

I would prioritize the spleen.

If this is an MI,
there's a good chance

they would treat conservatively.

- What Dr. Curtis said. Then put
her on a 12-lead ECG for visibility.

- Dr. Singh, that's
not what I meant.

I was just trying...
- Oh, c'mon, June.

As soon as the words
were out of your mouth,

we both knew I'd been schooled.
Five millimetres trocar here.

Since
when do you not speak up

when you disagree with me, June?

- I, uh... think I'm gonna go loop
cardiology in myself just to be sure.

You got this?
- I do.

I'd like heart rate updates
every minute, please.

- You said "no milk," right?
- Yes, yes. Thank you.

- So... You've toured
the department again.

Met our whole team.

Thoughts?
- It seems great. And efficient.

- I know it's not the level one
trauma centre that you're used to,

but most docs prefer
our saner pace.

Everyone is very excited about
your skills and experience.

You're exactly what we've
been looking for, Dr. Hamed.

And you know how hard it is to
get doctors to agree on anything.

- I do. Yes...

- On that note, I am thrilled

to offer you a four-year
contract here at St. Agnes.

Starting as soon as
your residency ends.

- I'm sorry, Dr. Robitaille,
but I can't accept.

- Uh, Dr. Curtis, hi!

They said you're the doctor...

surgeon-person
responsible for her.

- One of them, yeah,
but what do you need?

- Well, I need to know
what the hell happened?

I mean, I get out of class
to find out she had surgery

and a heart attack.
- Oh, you're Danny.

Right, uh... Our cardiac team
is assessing how much damage,

if any, was caused by the MI.
- Okay, and her spleen?

Like, does she even know?
Aren't you supposed to check

before you rip
something out of a...

Is that her stuff?
- No, no.

Look, a billboard collapsed on your
mother triggering this chain of events.

- She's my girlfriend!
Not my mother.

You should know
better than to assume.

- I gotta go.

- How did this happen?
- Hold on, I'm almost done.

- He said it was a small expl*si*n in a
shed or a garage during the earthquake.

Paramedics said he was hemo unstable
so they gave him a bolus of fluid.

- Okay, how many fingers?
- No idea!

Take this, it's everything
you need to find the girl.

- BPs 90 over 60.
- What girl?

- Uh, I was looking for my cat.

He got out when I heard a rattling
in a laneway garage so I went in.

Then the ground started
shaking, rumbling, then...

I think there was
an expl*si*n, but...

But before I blacked
out, I saw her.

- Your cat?
- No!

A girl, she looked about
16, tied to a drain pipe.

I remember thinking, "Why
would a shed have plumbing?"

- Arnold, let's start another
line. Let's get it fast!

And, uh, 50 milligrams
dimenhydrinate.

- You need to find her. I tried
telling the paramedics, but...

- Gauze, Carmen.
- Yup.

- There's internal bleeding,
then there's risk of losing more.

- Yeah.
- She was terrified.

- You have to move
faster than that, Carmen.

- Yeah, I'm trying!
- Arnold, we need morphine, tetanus, and ceftriaxone.

- Got it, and I
already paged optho.

- Thank you.
- Hey! The girl is in danger,

you need to call the cops! Now!
- BPs down to 65 over 35.

- He's in hypovolemic
shock. Activate MTP.

- Prep two rounds of EPI.
- No, no epi.

Let me call it, Carmen. We need two
milligrams of lorazepam, two grams of TXA.

- Blood's ready.
- What if the seizure dislodges

the thing in his eye?
- We just need to get him stable

and hope for the best.

- Pressure's coming back up.
- OR for a lap?

- No, CT. We need to see
how deep his eye injury is.

- Um, Dr. Hamed, I get that
maybe a code isn't the best time,

but I need to learn. So anytime
there's anything you need me to do...

- Yeah, I'll keep that
in mind, Carmen, thanks.

Hey, Shawn, I'll call about
the girl. Okay? I promise.

- I just need to
make sure she's okay.

- Amira!

Amira!

- Are you the father? You can't leave
a kid her age in the park alone.

- I understand that,
I just got held up.

Anyway, I'm here now.
Thank you for your concern.

- You can tell me
if you need help.

Are you okay, honey?

- I think I'm gonna
call the police.

- No, no, no. Please,
please, don't do that.

Look, I work at the restaurant
just down the street.

You can go ask them. I had a
phone interview for another job.

I'm really a doctor. My shift ran late
so I had to take the call from work.

Please.

- He's my brother.

- But did they tell you that I
am 43 and that my father died

of a stroke at that age,
and his father did, too?

- Well, with a family history like that,
it makes sense that you would be worried.

But can you please
sit down, Harper?

- I eat healthy, I exercise.

I don't smoke like they did.

I have done everything I
could to avoid their fate.

- Harper...
- But it's just been like this cloud on the horizon.

And, you know, I guess there's just
nothing I could've done to stop it.

- Harper! You are
not having a stroke.

- How do you know that?
- Well, the night doctor

sent you for a CT-angio
as a code stroke,

and there is no clot or
bleeding in your brain.

We had an influx of urgent
patients this morning

because of the earthquake. So it took a
while to get your results back, but...

- That stuff, though, it
rules out a stroke? 100%?

- Together with the clinical
exam and the negative CTA,

it's the tool we
have, I'm confident.

- That's not good enough,
my arm is still tingling.

- That could be for a
number of minor reasons.

Viral, stress, a pinched nerve.

- What gets us the
rest of the way?

- I could ask for an MRI or
have neurology come down,

but I'm telling you it's
gonna be non-urgent.

- Please, it's been too
long thinking this is coming

to just accept that it isn't
without doing everything

that I can to make
sure that it's not.

- Okay, Harper. Just settle
in for that wait, alright?

I texted like five
times, what the hell?

- Yeah, I know, I
just, uh... Thanks.

They made me an offer.
- Okay.

- I turned it down.
- What?

- I know. Obviously,
it was stupid, but I...

I don't know what
I was thinking.

I'm trying to
understand why I did it.

- Okay, hold on. I... just was not
expecting you to say that, but...

- Bash? They took Shawn
to image his head,

but you'll want to hear what the
cops said about the girl he found.

- Okay.

- Go.
- Thanks.

- I wanna know what
you're gonna do

to make sure no one else
ever has to go through this.

And if you can't tell me,
I'm going to the press,

so people can find out
what kind of tragic,

irresponsible operation you're
running and something changes.

- Are you okay?

- Did you need something?

- Uh, actually, I just came to check
in on how things have been going,

but it seems like
a bad time, I...

Um...

Look, I have personally felt that
my performance has been solid.

- Uh-huh.
- Good.

And, um, I'm aware of the
ground I had to cover to...

to build trust between us.

- You've certainly been
making a concerted effort.

- Okay, just...

I mean, you say that,
but it sounds like...

For example, earlier today,
you suggested that I bring

psych in on my eating
disorder patient?

- You agreed that
was a good idea.

- Except, I am actually capable
of talking to my patients

about sensitive issues. I have
been doing it successfully

for a long time.

- You want to hear me say
that I am aware of that, Theo?

Fine. I'm aware.
- I'm a nice guy, Dr. Devi.

If you can't see that,
maybe the problem is you.

- Maybe it is.

- Huh. Took an earthquake

for everyone in ED to realize
that they miss me, eh?

- Can we talk?

- Yeah.

So I noticed Singh
covering Trauma OR.

I'm guessing you're wanting him
to take over for me full-time.

- Yeah. I do.

- He's a reliable choice,
that's what you said you needed.

- What I need is for you to write
me a script for misoprostol.

- Oh. Ulcer prevention or...?

- The other thing.
- Did you change your mind about having a kid?

Uh, just that circumstance
affects dosage.

- My body changed it for
me. So I think 600 mcg.

I wasn't that far along.
Already self-assessed.

I don't want to do the
watchful waiting thing.

I just wanna put it behind me.

- June...
- Please, don't.

I came to you because you're the one
person who won't make me do that.

- Okay.

I'll put it through
for you right away.

I'm told evac teams are navigating
their way around highway closures,

but they are on their way. Call me or
text me if you need anything, alright?

Hey, Shawn. So how
are you feeling?

- It's getting a little
uncomfortable, not turning my head.

- I bet. But they needed to
make sure that you're bleeding

was stable before
operating on your eye.

- Did they find her? The girl?

- Uh, about that, we spoke to the
police, they checked out the garage.

Uh, Shawn, there is no girl.

- What do you
mean? She escaped?

- No, there never was one.

The garage that you went to
was owned by an elderly couple,

who feel terrible about the
compressor which had been rattling.

The husband is a
handyman, and...

- Because they're an elderly
couple, there's no girl?

Maybe they moved her
from the drain pipe.

- They checked. There are
no pipes in this place.

And the security
camera confirms this.

- I saw her.

I can see her so clearly,

right now in my mind.

You're saying this
is a delusion?

- Likely a hallucination
due to brain injury.

- Why would my mind even...

- Sometimes we project.

I mean, do you think there could
be anything else that might...

You said you lost your cat.

- Yeah, but he gets
out all the time.

I'm home a lot, in
between jobs right now.

I think he kind of hates
me and needs space.

Wait... I invented
a girl to save

because my cat doesn't need me?

- The good news is you can now
focus on the things you need.

Which means letting your
body heal from this trauma.

- Heard you were looking
for me. How's the elbow?

- Why'd you pawn me
off on a psychiatrist?

- You brought me
here to complain.

Yet, you didn't seem to really
want to talk to me earlier.

- I don't wanna talk to anyone.

Now I'm admitted
and trapped here.

I'll miss exams and everything
I'm working for is ruined.

- I get you're upset. But Charlotte,
this isn't something you can ignore.

- I worked out a system.
Restrict to stay focused,

then after every exam, eat
enough to start all over.

- And what did the
psychiatrist say?

- That it's perfectionism,
or anxiety, or OCD,

and I suck at dealing.
That's all they ever say.

This is why I want to be a doctor,
to think outside the stupid box.

- Well, then, start
now. What do you think?

- I think... you guys always
need something to fix.

And when you can't or I can't or
there isn't, the cycle just restarts.

- And do your parents know?
- Since I was 12.

They watch me get
better then worse.

It kills me every
time I let them down.

I was hoping you'd call for me.

- So I'm not only here
for you to yell at me.

- I just like how
you didn't push.

- Have you ever heard of
family-based treatment?

It means your mom and
dad keep you accountable,

and it decouples eating disorders
from psychological causes.

- Why hasn't anyone
suggested it?

- Because not everyone
subscribes to it.

And your family really has to want
to be an active part of the process.

- They do. Only... it's kind of too
late since I'm stuck in inpatient jail.

- How often are they
checking on you?

- Maybe it was something that
Novak said about St. Agnes

being low stakes that's
just rattling in my...

- Okay, just pause. Just...
Tell me what happened.

- They offered me everything.

Everything I've worked
for since I came here.

Just here you go.

And... then I got this
feeling that it wasn't for me.

And I should know better than
to listen to these impulses.

It was selfish and, and stupid.
- No, so what, though?

Why do you keep
punishing yourse...

- Hey, guys! Mags...
- Yes.

- Echo looks good,
bloods are good.

Stress test, too.
- Great.

Great because I feel good.
Energy levels, everything.

- Nice.
- Did you still want to do

the endomyocardial biopsy today?
- What time is your shift over?

- At seven.
- But if you can squeeze it in earlier,

I'll take over her patients.
- I love the way you two

attack this as a team.

All my post-ops
should be so lucky.

Let's do it after your shift.
I can have you out fast.

- Okay.
- Dr. Zhang.

She's had four
biopsies in six months.

At what point can we stop
worrying about rejection?

- Now, at every point.

Easier said than done.

But try not to worry about
something you can't control.

- Is that even...
- I'm trying, I really am.

- You were saying?
- I was asking you

why you keep punishing yourself.

- Five years ago, I
made us leave Elliot's

because I was frustrated
and acted impulsively.

We were between places.

- Where were you sleeping?
- Khaled lent us his couch.

Amira was at a
playground one day

and a job interview
ran long, and...

a stranger accused me of
being a negligent parent.

- That is the last thing
you could ever be called.

- It was that day I realized
I couldn't requalify

and keep a roof over our
heads so I went full-time

at the restaurant and gave up any
hopes of being a doctor again.

You'll feel tired,
shortness of breath.

She's gonna need help, Danny.

- How long until she's
her regular self?

- Couple of months. Post-surgery,
you'll want to take it easy.

You said shortness of breath, is that
why I'm having trouble breathing now?

- Uh, can you just turn
your head... the other way?

It looks like, uh...
Are those hives?

- She may be reacting
to the medication?

- When you say she needs help,
like, uh... getting dressed?

Like, she, I mean, she can...

go to the bathroom by
herself, I imagine.

- She's barely 50, nobody's
suggesting she'll be incontinent.

- I look out for you
all the time, Danny.

Is it really that horrific to
have to look after me for a month?

- Didn't say that.
Don't get mad at me.

- Yeah, did you know you
were allergic to bee stings?

- Yeah, why? Is that...

- It's like, how did you
not feel the stinger?

This is why you had
the heart attack.

- Are you saying
this is my fault?

- Uh, what June means
is that in rare cases,

these things can
cause Kounis syndrome

which leads to the release
of inflammatory cytokines

and can cause coronary
artery vasospasm.

- So while the billboard
fell, a bee also stung me?

- I mean, like, whoa, what?

So weird...
- Just get out, Danny.

- No, I didn't do it.
Nah, I didn't do anything.

- Leave! Just... go.
- C'mon.

You don't have to do this.

- Hey, I figured you
bailed right after you...

- Quit in a fiery rage?

I hope I didn't screw you guys
with the earthquake fallout.

- No, it blew over
pretty quickly, but...

Look, I know it sucks.
The man who died...

- It's not that. I
quit because of Claire.

Look, every few months, this place gets
to be too much and I say I'm leaving.

And Claire always talks me down.

This time, she
didn't even blink.

- I know she hasn't
been herself lately.

- It's because of
the drugs, Mags.

I hate to betray her,
but you should know.

- I did. Right
before my surgery,

I offered to help
with pain management.

- Well, right now,
it's out of control.

- I'm really sorry, Mags.

Harper's MRI came back clean

and I know you said
to prep for discharge.

- My arm is still tingling.
So if you can't redo

those tests tonight, I
can come back tomorrow.

- Or you could refer me, I...
- No. It's a pinched nerve.

If you want a
follow-up, ask your GP.

I know it's hard, but
you have to try to accept

the fact that there is no
cloud on the horizon, Harper.

- So... what's going on here?

- Mags knows about Claire.
- Oh.

- The thing is, is that
she never actually told us.

She has this witness medication
wastage a few times a week.

But in the morning, the
count is always wrong.

- So she's stealing painkillers?
- It's not like we've caught her

high or messing with
patients, but...

- She's so lost.
- Okay, um...

Well, if there's
any good news here

is that you don't really
wanna quit, right?

- No. But...

If Claire is prepared to let me,

what's that say about where
this place is right now?

Hey, Jay, how's it going?

- A makeshift quarantine in
the church has 14 patients

using all the rebreather
masks I've got.

- Oh, uh, last time we spoke,
18 people needed your help.

- Well, a few stabilized. Vos

and I'm hoping that's
it for new cases.

But also, because we've used
all the atropine we have.

- Okay, but you
haven't lost anyone?

Jay?

- This 14-year-old
boy has dyspnea,

then suddenly
pericardial effusion,

just not in a way
I've ever seen before.

Meds didn't work.

- Okay, so effusion didn't
connect to the antidote

or the toxin, but if you're
worried about tamponade...

- The thing is, Bash, his
heart isn't where it should be.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- I don't know...

Now! Now! I want it out now!

Turn that off!
- Hey, what's going on?

Get him some lorazepam.
- Don't come closer, Dr. Hamed.

- Shawn, what are you doing?
- No, they're saying

it could be all night before
I'm stable enough for surgery.

- They're still monitoring
your abdominal bleeding.

- No, I need this
out of my eye now!

- Look, I understand
it's uncomfortable,

but if you could just hold
on a little bit longer...

- No, it's not
that, it's the girl!

- Shawn, we've talked about...
- No! I'm serious.

No, I get you're saying
she's not real, and I...

I believe you or I
want to believe you.

But it feels so real. And that feeling is
more intense than any pain I've ever known.

- Look, Shawn, if you do
this, honestly, I don't know

what's going to happen medically,
but there will be a lot of bleeding,

possibly in your
brain which could lead

to hemorrhagic stroke,
shock infection, blindness.

- Every second's t*rture. I
can see her terrified face.

I need it to go away.
- There's no guarantee

that removing it will
take that feeling away.

- It will. I know
it, it has to.

- You have a brain
injury, Shawn.

You're not thinking clearly.

Just... please...

Thank you, I'll find the nurse.

Hey, no, no!

Hey, Shawn, Shawn!

Hey, hey!

- I'm so glad you're
sticking around, Rhoda.

What happened today
was not fair to you.

- Hey, it's not your fault.
I know you're trying.

- I don't want to hide from
reality or make excuses.

Wait times are the same as they were
two years ago when I started this job.

Staff to patient
ratios, same deal.

This isn't self-pity, it's
just a dose of radical honesty.

Claire, thank you for
coming. Take a seat.

- What is this?
- I'm sorry, okay,

but we're just
worried about you.

- We love you, Claire.
You know we do.

It's just...
- Stop.

- Claire!
- Dr. Devi, let me try.

Claire!

- How could you, Mags?

- They knew already. Or
Arnold and Rhoda did.

- Yeah, so you decided to blindside
me with some pointless intervention.

- I promised that I'd be there
for you, and then I disappeared.

But we can work on this
and get you back on track.

- For what? You are
still that naive

little girl clinging to a lie.
- Alright, then quit!

If you believe that,
then you should quit

instead of poisoning
the people around you.

But I don't... I
don't think you do.

If you keep stealing pills,
Devi will alert legal

and you won't be
able to see patients.

That's what I came
out here to say.

- I think we just
broke that couple up.

I blame the bee.

- Uh, I know you're looking
for a full-time Trauma OR body.

- Uh, yeah, I wanted
to talk to you about...

- I'm going back upstairs.

- Did I do something wrong?
- No.

One, it's not what I want.

I'm a general surgeon
and that's what I love.

And two, you don't need some
blowhard lording over you.

- That's not the way
management's going to see it.

- Which is why I'm gonna make
the case that they should.

You earned it, June.

- Thanks.

- Okay...

You good?

- Yeah.

- Hey, you paged me
about Jay Penney?

How's he doing?
- Save one more coronal image,

and then we're good.
- What happened to Carmen?

- Nothing, I'm a lab rat.
- Technically, she volunteered.

- But now I know what a CT
with contrast feels like,

which can only be an asset
to my level of patient care.

- What's the deal here?

- Have you ever heard
of situs inversus?

- Uh, when organs are in the mirror
image position where they should be.

- Your doctor in Labrador has a
kid who needs pericardiocentesis,

but they found out the hard way
that his heart's in the wrong place.

Since they don't have
much access to imaging,

they'll need you to talk
him through what to do.

- And your organs are the map?
- The software inverts

the image, and then we can
help Jay visualize the anatomy

to make sure his
landmarks are correct.

Thanks, Carmen.
- Yeah.

- Right, so Jay can drain the
fluid around the kid's heart

before he dies.

- Okay, let's go.

Okay, you'll need a 30cc
syringe, spinal needle,

a guide wire, pigtail
or closest you can find.

- I'm set up, Bash.

- Okay, you're gonna
to run your fingers

down his sternum until
you hit a bony notch.

- How old did you
say this patient is?

- 14, male, 50 kilos.
- Alright, with no imaging,

he should be going
subxiphoidal with a 7F pigtail.

That way you can aspirate
even clotted blood.

And then aim for
the right shoulder.

- The right shoulder?

- Jay, does that make sense?

- Hang in there, buddy.
- Jay, do you hear us?

Talk to us, man,
what's going on?

- Sorry, trying to mark
the puncture point.

How far? If I miss,
I pierce a lung.

- I'd say about the width of
one finger on a kid this age.

- And make sure you
continuously check pressure.

Jay, you good?

- Little guy's name is Paul.

I don't... I don't know if
I'm doing this right, guys...

- Hey, it's okay. How many of
these have you done the easy way?

- One. Since residency.

Paul's mom didn't have an
ultrasound while she was pregnant

so we didn't know about his
irregular anatomy. Crap...

- What's wrong? What happened?

- No breath sounds.
- What's his heart rate?

- I don't know. You wan?

- No, no, no! You need
to puncture right away.

Okay, don't think. Just go hard
so you perforate the pericardium.

- Okay.

- Damn it. I'll get him back.

- Theo, our guy from adolescence
psych wants to talk to you.

- Uh, yeah, leave that
with me, Arnold. Thank you.

I did something, uh, risky.

I busted this patient out of here
before confirming with her doctors.

I mean, her parents
were relieved

when they came and got her.
And I got her a great team,

it's just... somewhere else.

You know, Novak was
right about Devi.

- C'mon, Jay, pick up.

- Bash, I'm trying to
tell you something.

- Theo, are you okay?
- No!

No, I haven't been
for... a long while.

- Because you
discharged someone...

- No, because I keep doing
some version of the same thing

over and over, and... and
making the same mistakes.

I know you have a lot going on.

Alright, with residency
ending, and Mags, and... Amira.

- She's going to England for a month
on this STEM exchange trip, but...

- But you still see
her as a nine-year-old.

Well, you know I get this
kind of thing, right?

- It's just that my therapist
told me that I keep putting

this pressure on
the men in my life.

You know, expecting them to
be fathers or brothers, and...

Maybe I reacted by
pulling away and...

"No signal for voice call.

Got the needle in,
seems to be draining."

- This was... impressive.

- Hey, Theo.

What if there's an
infection or a complication?

How will we know if
we can't see him?

- Bash... he's okay.

- Can I come in?

So I just spoke with
cardiology again.

And they said that you're
recovering really well.

There's no reason for you
not to be home tomorrow.

- You must think I'm
an absolute idiot.

- Uh, don't... I mean,
a billboard fell on you.

- Danny, and that whole thing.

I thought he was...

It is just... so
hard to meet people.

What was I thinking?

- That you don't
deserve to be alone.

- Didn't they ask you
to stay lying back?

- Hey... Yeah.

I wanted to see if I could
sit up on my own, though.

- Your internal
bleeding's managed.

Your ophthalmologist says there's
no medical precedent for it,

but your vision is starting to return and
if it continues, you should recover fully.

- So I'm told.

- And the girl?

- Soon as I woke up, it was
like she was a dream, man.

- So you just forgot about her?

- Now she's a fading memory.

You have no idea what
kind of relief that is.

- I've got to be honest, Shawn,

I was not expecting
this one to go smoothly.

- Right?

Also, my neighbour called,

my cat's been waiting
at my door all day.

- Hi.
- Hey...

I'm sorry I missed your biopsy.
- It's okay. It was fine.

How's the kid?
- Which one?

The kid who never existed or the kid
whose organs were on the wrong side?

They're both fine, actually.
- Good.

Have you seen Claire since
our little throwdown?

- Maybe she just
needs some time.

- I'm coming off sedatives or
maybe I'd feel worse about it.

I'm glad that you didn't take that
job if it's not right for you.

- What kind of sedatives
do they have you on?

- It's just...

You said that it was
stupid and selfish and...

I understand that you've trained
yourself to feel that way, but...

maybe you're allowed
to be those things.

Just like the rest of us.

- I'm trying.

- I know.

- What?

- Nothing.
- Liar.

- Claire told me that she
and Bishop used to mock me

for being a naive little idiot.

- Well, I fell in
love with that idiot.

- I guess that makes
you an idiot, too.

- I guess so.