01x01 - The Semigration

[bunniefuu]

Which one is it, Ashley?

All of these houses
look exactly the same.

It's the one
straight up ahead.

My wings.

You are
trespassing and if you don't leave

I'll have you arrested.

Please, Monique,
I just need one minute of your time.

You have one minute
to leave or I'm calling the police.

sh*t.

Come, Ashley. Maybe if I give you
a leg up you can hop over the gate.

- How much do you weigh?
- 44 kilos.

- Shut up.
- It's fine. I have a better idea.

Ashley?

It's good to have you back.

Now let's go!

- Oh my God, Ashley.

- He thinks I'm a real swan.
- Lageveld, down.

Okay.
You better know the code.

- It was something like...

- Don't f*ck this up, Ashley.
- You promised to be nicer to me.

Sorry. Don't f*ck this up,
please, Ashley.

- Yes!

- sh*t!
- Stop! You're trespassing!

It's okay, it's okay.
We're not from here.

We are Capetonian.
We're not from Johannesburg.

We mean you no harm.

That is so hilarious.

Well it has just been such a tonic

- to see you, babe.
- I know.

Oh maybe if the weather's nice
on Sunday,

shall we take the kids
to the Urban park?

Mm. I don't think
we're gonna feel like it.

Thank you so much. I'll get this one.

- Oh no, please, Tali.
- No, I think you got the last one.

- I'll get this one.
- Okay. Thanks.

- Tap. There we go.

Let's try that again,
please?

Ah. Sometimes I don't know
where to tap.

Oh.

- There we go.

- It's declined.

Oh, no, that's impossible.

There must be something wrong
with your machine.

Ma'am,
it says there's no funds available.

Is everything okay, Tals?

Yes, everything is fine,
thank you, Gabi.

- I can pay, it's really no biggie...
- No, it's no biggie for me either.

I'm just gonna..
I'm quickly gonna make a call.

- Just hold on.

I am in an incredibly embarrassing
situation, Darren.

The card is declining.
Can you clear it, please?

I cleared the card
yesterday, babe.

How did you manage
to max it out already?

Well maybe because
I run a household, Darren,

and I have a million mouths to feed.
Can you clear it again, please?

I actually can't, Tals.
There's no money until next month.

What? Okay, fine.

I'll just have to use
a real credit card then.

My dad's one.

- Okay, sorry about that, guys.
- No probs.

- Let's try this one.
- Okay.

- This is my dad's card. No limit.

- Declined, ma'am.

Okay, there must be something
wrong with your machine.

- Just use this one, please?

Approved.
Thank you so much, ma'am.

No problem, Tals.
Don't worry about it.

You can get the next one, okay?
If you can.

And then Gabi
had to pay for my lunch.

And then I got trapped
in the Waterfront parking lot,

and I had to ask someone for money.

And I bet you they think
I was a drug addict.

I'm sorry, my Tals.
We had to cut you off.

What?! No, guys, you cannot cut
your children off later on in life.

You do it early or not at all.

We haven't officially cut you off.
We just had to limit your cards.

No.
He did it to me too, Tals.

We're living like peasants here.

Tals, why don't you move
back home to Joburg for a while

until you guys aren't
so financially stretched. Huh?

- Ja.
- It would be good to have you

and Jayden under our roof.

- And Darren.
- Ja.

I mean, I haven't seen my grandchild
for almost a year now,

for God's sakes. It's criminal.

Guys, listen to me now, okay?
I am not moving back to Joburg.

I have lived without cracked lips
and potholes for years now.

I can't go back.

Well there is absolutely
nothing to eat in this house.

I don't know what we're gonna
give Jayden for lunch, Sylvia.

Motherhood has transformed me.

- Oh viennas.
- Oh ja.

I used to just live
for myself.

That's good.

And now I just live for my baby boy.

Ah thank you so much, Sweetness.

Hello, my boy.

We spend so much time together.

Sylvia, would you mind making
peanut butter toast for Jayden?

I'm just gonna get started
on this lunch.

We do not have
peanut butter.

Ashley, please put peanut butter
on the list.

I actually told you yesterday.

But you know what, guys?
It is exhausting.

And i'm not just talking about
raising jayden.

Oh, no, that's the easy part.

It's managing all the hands
I have on deck.

Ashley, jean-luc.

What up, Jay?

Housekeeper, night nurse.
Nannies.

Bennet. The gardner comes twice
a week to water down the astroturf.

It really does take a village.

And that village does not
manage itself, let me tell you.

Where's the macadamia milk?

Well we don't have
macadamia nut milk.

Ashley, please put
macadamia nut milk on the list.

Guys, I cannot keep track
of all the milks.

I'm literally the minister
of transport in my own home.

Sylvia, your Uber's here.

Ashley, please will you order
Sweetness an Uber.

Plus,
everything gets delivered these days.

So i've got brendan the takealot guy
here every five minutes

Delivering a new parcel.

Just place it here.
Thank you so much.

- Do you want some coffee?
- Yes, please.

Ah okay, cool.

Who do you think has to break down
those boxes for recycling?

Sometimes I think it would be so much
easier if it was just jayden and me.

And darren, obviously.

Babe, do you want a salmon
and cream cheese bagel?

Guess what we're having
for dinner tonight?

Darren, please do not bring

those funny misshapen carrots
into our house.

- We don't know where they've been.
- Tals, they're from our own garden.

I mean,
look at this beautiful sweet potato.

Darren, what is that?
It looks like a funny sandy animal.

Don't bring it in.

I've already embraced
the new normal.

If the lockdown taught me anything,
is that we need less.

We don't need less, babe,
we need more.

Starting with money.

It's been really great
having all this free time

To focus on my passions.

'cause goldprop's on ice
at the moment.

And if I am honest,

this is my favourite room
of the house.

I know what you're about to ask me.

And yes,
these are real hardwood floors.

Absolutely stunning.

Let me take you to the kitchen,

which captures the morning light
so beautifully.

Hi, hi. Sorry.

I think I'm early
for the next viewing.

I just didn't wanna miss
this great opportunity.

- Please continue, I'll just...
- Not a problem, sir.

Please just wander around
and I'll be with you shortly.

So I.. Hang on a second.
Are these vintage pressed ceilings?

- Yes.
- Oh my word.

What a beautiful flow
to the whole place.

Great feng shui, if you will.

- Are those hardwood floors?

- Why, yes, they are.
- Unbelievable.

Really, you just don't get
quality like this

for such an affordable price.

And don't get me started on
location, location, location.

There's a school down the road,
Bootlegger.

I think there's a paddle court
about five minutes away.

- Do you play, by the way?
- Sometimes.

Not good, but I like it.

But we could start a family here.

You could most definitely
start a family here.

Let me show you the kitchen which
captures the morning light.. Oh.

That's just my diary.

"Rael enters
bringing some of his Rosen magic."

- Are you Rael Rosen?
- No, no, I'm Benji Brookman.

I'm not sure who that is,
unfortunately.

But when I Google Rael Rosen,
this comes up.

- What is...? Who's that?
- That is not me.

Very handsome man as well,
but no, that's not me.

I've got one of those faces.

Some people say I look
like the Tinder Swindler.

I mean.. Have you seen
that documentary?

Can't believe what he did
to those women. Unbelievable.

- Anyway...
- Take a photo.

- What are you doing?

Where you taking those photos?
Delete that.

- Let's go, let's go, let's go.
- Excuse me.

You guys are done for.
More like Property Swindler.

I'm not a property swindler
at all, and I have rights.

Do not put that on the internet,
please, sir.

- These are real hardwood floors.
- POPIA Act!

Taryn, why are you bringing
the script onto the property.

- That's our number one rule.
- I don't know.

That's the second sell
you've blown this month.

Well if you're such
a property hotshot

then why aren't you
selling it yourself?

Because unlike you,

I've got a reputation to uphold
in this industry.

And I wouldn't be caught
selling residential. Ugh.

The commercial property market
is dead.

Literally in the toilet.

So I did what any property man
would do.

Started selling residensh,
with taryn as my front.

We call it rose israelson properties.

- DO YOU GET IT?
- OH MY God, THAT IS SO CLEVER.

Like, rose is rael son.

Ugh. Makes sense why everyone
is calling me rose.

Tell us about
your romantic relationship.

Oh. No, there's nothing
going on between us, no.

That was all the emotions around the
baby that just got us a bit riled up.

Ja, it was a fleeting moment
of lustful passion.

You know we were drowning

- in a river of each others'...
- okay, taryn.

Ja, it was never gonna work.

I mean, is this how much milk costs?

Ashley, I am shocked.

- Have I been living under a rock?
- Yes.

- What?
- Hm?

Okay, let's do the calculation.

Alright.
After all the money I'm spending

online grocery shopping,
real life grocery shopping,

online clothing shopping,
real life clothing shopping,

and all the extras.
Where are we arriving?

That includes staff salaries too.

Well that's.. a lot, Ashley.

Well maybe you could..
cut some staff.

Ashley, I would rather
cut off my own arms.

So I have an idea that might help.

As you know, there's a huge market
in children's books,

and I've actually been working
on my own one now.

It's called "Fynbos Fairies".

It's a story about
a magical fynbos fairy

Who is trying to save the bees...

But another bigger
and more powerful fairy

Is trying to thwart her mission.

Even though her mission
could save the world.

- Are you joking?
- No.

Okay. Well firstly, Ashley,
this is a very random suggestion.

Okay. Secondly, whoever made millions
in selling children's books? Nobody.

- JK Rowling did.
- She's cancelled now, so...

- That's true.
- And the movies were not good.

Those weren't the characters
that I imagine in my head.

Now it's ruined it for me,
it's ruined the books forever.

Hey, Siri,
how do I make a lot of money?

Get a job.

Darren?

- Darren? Daz?
- Rael.

- You're just in time for harvest.
- Okay, wow, look at that.

That's exciting.
I'll have that later.

Darren, I think it might be a good
idea for you to leave the house.

It has been three weeks.

So I have planned a property day
just for me and you.

What do you say we go
check out the old portfolio?

If it means I get to spend time
with my best boy,

- count me in.
- Beautiful.

Just need to check on
my sourdough starter first.

Okay.

Ja, i'm gonna be honest, it's
been a bit of a struggle with darren.

Or should I say, without him.

The oke's mind is stuck
in lockdown level five.

But just because we closed goldprop

Doesn't mean we have
to close our friendship.

Mm, he's my boy.

Daz, coming up here.
Chiapini Press, our first purchase.

Ooh and how's this?
The old dried fruit warehouse.

Remember when they called us
the Wolves of Woodstock?

We made up that howl. Let's do it.

Remember we were gonna put
a lifestyle centre in there?

Ja. That was never gonna work.

It was a fun venture, man. It's
a pity all the tenants moved out.

Those were the days.

And that is when it hit me.

If I want to earn money,
I need to work at a bank.

Yes. Well your CV
is certainly interesting.

- Thank you.
- But there's nothing on there

suggesting you should work at a bank.

Oh. Well I work hard
and learn fast, Lucas.

What openings do you have?

Well you're only really qualified
for marketing positions,

and well there's a role
for a sales rep.

I'm sorry,
do I look like a sales rep to you?

Absolutely not.

I need something...

It's a lift.

I need something higher up.

Well.. there's something here

- in customer services?
- Absolutely not. No, no, no, no, no.

- Communications officer?
- No, no.

I don't understand those words.

I don't know what you're talking
about, and I'm bored out of my mind.

If you don't mind, can I just?

Sorry, sorry. Just...

- Thank you.
- Okay.

- Fine. Fine.
- Just let me have a little look.

Let me see here...

Marketing coordi.. Oh, no.
That is hideously boring.

I cannot do any of these things.

- Ugh! God, no way.
- Um...

Ooh. What is a brand executive?

This has got my name
all over it, Lucas.

Because I am a brand. Okay?

What's the remuneration
package for this?

- It's in the corner...
- Oh is that per week?

- Ja, per week.
- Mm.

Look, Lucas, it's a little bit less
than I'm comfortable with.

- Well...
- But we are all tightening

our belts, Lucas, I get it.

It's the economy,
it's really bad at the moment. Hey?

I tell you what.

Draw up the contract
and send it to my people.

- But which people?
- Lucas, you are so cute, man.

- Stop it.

See you on Monday. Bye.

Hey, how's this?

Two best choms, talking property,
black Americanos in hand.

I actually got myself a mint tea.

Oh. I forgot you were off
the caffeine.

Gold shops.

Howzit?

Daz, looks like you're still
pivoting there, boy?

- Pivoting?

Don't talk to us about pivoting.
We saw you shut your doors.

- So relax, okay.
- Boy.

We moved from brick and mortar
straight into virtual.

We're no longer twins.
We're quads now.

Got a couple of avatars
running around the metaverse,

hoovering up squares.

We bought some land
next to Snoop's place.

Ja. Hoovering.

Let it go, bru.
They're on their own path now.

Okay. Cute.

This is not a vibe though.

Hello.

Okay. This is stuns.

- Hi.
- Hello.

I'm Roberta.

Yoh, it's so nice to see
a fresh face.

- I'm Tali. Nice to meet you.
- No, really, my babes.

Like, I haven't seen a new face
in, like, two years.

Yes, I was one of the few people
that stayed behind

during the pandemic in the office.
It's been very quiet.

I haven't had lunch with a colleague
since Feb 2020.

- You know, it gets very lonely.
- Well chin up, Roberts,

because there gonna be
some changes around here.

- Well.
- Starting with your cubicle.

Because I'm sorry to say,

it is looking a little bit
rachies back there.

- Um...
- You know what? Here.

This will, like,
freshen things up a bit.

Thank you, Tali. Oh.

This is living, boy.
Me, you, Falkor Two. The prom.

I wish we'd solar powered drones
back in the Goldprop days.

What do you mean,
"back in the Goldprop days"?

We're in those days.

Why are you turning your back
on Goldprop, Darren?

I'm not, Rael. It's still alive
up here and in here.

- Well what about down here?
- You're resisting change.

Focus your energy on building
the new, not fighting the old.

You're right, Daz.
Couldn't pivot fast enough.

Instead I started that Rose
Israelson Properties with Taryn,

who can't sell ice in hell.

- It's not your fault, Rael.
- No, I know. I know, Darren.

No, really, Rael,
it's not your fault.

Okay, Darren.
Stop "Good Will Hunting" me.

I understand. It's not my fault.

- It's not your fault.
- Okay, I get.. Oh! Darren!

The drone. Aw, no, no.

Aw, it's not...

- Aw, no.
- Let go, Rael.

It's solar powered.
It's on its own journey now.

Hm.

What a day.

Hello, my angel.

Mommy's not gonna be home for
bath time or supper time anymore.

It's just one of the sacrifices
I have to make for this family.

I've made a hearty vegetable soup

which goes great
with the fresh sourdough.

Darren, you have failed this family.

We can't live on bread
and vegetables. We'll die.

Ah, babes, I mean, the nutritional
value of the veggies...

I can't chat, babe, I can't.

I have got a mountain of paperwork
to get through.

It's just work, work, work.

You've only been there one day.

Exactly, Darren, which is why
I need to catch up on so much.

Working moms, hey.

Turns out you can't have it all.

When i'm working I feel guilty.

When i'm not working
I feel more guilty.

Society makes us choose.

Okay, guys,
have a look at this.

This is a pie chart.
The reason it is called a pie chart

is because it is in the shape
of a pie.

But he knows
you're married now.

- Exactly.
- Oh my God.

I was like,
"That is not professional."

This town,
a lot of people have a crush on me.

You know,
she's always trying to one up me.

- Ja.
- Always.

- She gave birth at my wedding.

- Oh my...
- What a b*tch.

This is a pink line and this
pink line is all about growth.

And we are growing because look here,

April, May, June, July...

August, September, etc...

Love, listen to this.
I was pregnant and then I was like,

"Guys, this is my big announcement."
This is my moment finally.

- Mm-hm.
- Finally.

- Ja.
- You know what she tells me?

- What?
- She's having twins.

- Not two.

I know.

And 50 is a good number.

Look at that.
Look how it's near that 50

and then it just goes upwards,
probably to about 60.

And there you go, 50 to 60.

Those are good numbers, guys,
that's good growth.

So keep on smiling, guys.
I love your work.

Tals, I'm sorry,

we just don't have the cash flow
to continue paying all of our staff.

We don't have that much staff,
Darren.

Day nurse, night nurse,
landscaper, driver...

Wait, why are we paying the Takealot
guy? It's not our job to pay him.

Babe, Brendan is here all the time.

It would be a crime not to contribute
towards his hard costs.

Got some tough decisions
to make, Tals.

Darren, you might be making
the bread, but I am the breadwinner.

And my salary is gonna cover
our overheads

and take us out of this dark hole
that you have plunged us into.

Darren, that better be load shedding
or I am gonna lose my sh*t.

- What is this paper?
- That's your payslip, Tali.

Wow.
This is my first payslip ever.

- Oh but that can't be right.
- Huh?

..May and June,
our third quarter projections

takes quite a...

Hi, Lucas-Manucas.

Sorry, guys, to interrupt.

Who do I chat to about a typo
on my payslip?

- Sorry?
- It's the wrong amount on there.

No, Tali,
there's no typo on your payslip.

That's the normal amount
for someone in your role.

It was in your contract.

Well I didn't read the contract,
Lucas.

- Silly.
- Hm.

What's this? What's deductions?
What's that for?

It's standard practice
to deduct money for tax,

- for SARS, for your PAYE's...
- I don't know what that is, Lucas.

But I need a raise, please.
Immediately.

Tali, you haven't even finished
your week of orientations.

Lucas, do not push me.
So help me, God, I will walk.

Well don't let the door hit you
on your way out.

- What?
- Good luck to you, Tali.

Good luck to me?

Oh okay. Good luck to you guys.

- I'm indispensable!
- Tali, I'm in a meeting.

Okay. Okay.

Excuse me, everybody!
Excuse me. Ding, ding, ding.

I have an announcement to make.
Hello?

The announcement is.. that I quit.

That's right, guys.
I am being forced out of the company

that I thought I was
gonna run one day.

And it's a great shame, because I
was really starting to love it here.

Okay?

So who's coming with me?

Tanaka?

You're always going on about
how much you hate it here.

I never said that.

Well fine, taking this painting then.

It's stuck. It's fine
because it's actually ugly.

I'll come with you, Tali.

Roberta, finally.
Someone with integrity.

- Pack up your stuff, babe.
- Now?

Yes. We are leaving.

I'm taking this calculator.

And my orchids that I brought.

Back to work, everyone.

Howzit, guys.
Didn't realise it was load shedding.

- Well it's not load shedding.

It's poverty.

Because Darren doesn't even care
that we don't have lights anymore.

Ah, Tal, I'm telling you,
the oke has changed.

- Tell me about it.
- I can't with the tomatoes. Ugh.

If only there was a place
where people still had hustle.

When money was the highest commodity.

Like a city made of gold.

- Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- I think I am, Rael.

- Monaco.
- Joburg.

Joburg.

You know my parents actually
did offer for us to move back.

You know? Just to recover.

Maybe this is something
I just have to do for the family.

A truly selfless act.

But don't think of it
as a step backwards,

more like a step to the side.

"Focus your energy on building
the new, not on fighting the old."

Wow. That is a beautiful quote.
Who said it?

Darren Nudelman.

- Oh my God.
- Ah Darren was right.

Jayden could get to spend time
with my parents.

They could feed him nutritious food.

They are staffed up
to the bloody gills.

I love it.

And Uncle Les could possibly offer us
a hot desk at Shapiro.

We could get Goldprop up and running.

Oh my actual God.

We are moving to Joburg.

What about me?

Sorry, Roberts. You can't come with,

'cause we barely
even know each other.

- But I quit for you, Tali.
- And I will never forget it, babe.

They say the grass is
always greener on the other side.

And they're right.

Except if it's a joburg winter, in
which case the grass is always brown.

But no matter the colour,
change is so important.

I'm gonna miss you so much.

I don't know what I'm gonna do
without you.

Be strong.

We have all been through
so much together,

and I'm gonna miss each
and every one of you so much.

- I'm gonna miss you too, Tali.
- Ashley, what are you talking about?

You are coming with us.
Please go and pack your bag.

Immediately.

The shuttle is here, Ashley.

She's gonna have to
get a later flight.