01x10 - The School Play

[bunniefuu]

Mikaela, forgive me for
putting insane pressure on you

by creating an impossibly high
standard for you to live up to.

What the hell are you
talking about?

I'm atoning.

Plus, I'm hangry.
You know I need my 11:00 green juice.

Yom kippur is the jewish
fast day of atonement,

Which means you need to ask
the people in your life

For forgiveness for your sins.

You also cannot eat
from sunset to sunset,

Which makes it much harder.

Not even coffee, hey, guys?

Jayden, I am sorry about
that time I got a job,

and you were left to raise yourself.

Dad, please forgive me
for the time I took the car

when I said I was going to Simmie's
house for the long weekend.

I actually drove to Umhlanga
to see a boy.

When the hell did you do that?

That's it,
I'm getting a snack. Ah!

Tali, get out of this
kitchen now. I'm being serious.

Fine, then I'm gonna get a snack
from this cupboard.

- No, you're not. Stop it!
- I am. I am. I am.

Get..
No, no, no, it's not happening, Tali.

- But I'm hungry!
- You're not hungry!

It's mind over matter!

There are days I go where all that
I have is a teaspoon of volcanic ash.

You are so weird.

And I forgive you for that.

Darren, I forgive you for that time
you plunged us into financial ruin,

And forced us to eat weird food that
you grew in the garden.

God, I WOULD ACTUALLY
EAT THAT RIGHT NOW.

I thought you were the one
who was asking for forgiveness.

Darren, marriage is a two-way street.

Is there anything else
you need forgiveness for?

Why'd you look into camera like that?

Now get out of here. Go on.

Just let me in! I...

Howzit, guys? It's me, tali.
How are you?

I'm a joburg girl
living in cape town,

But now i'm moving back home
with the fam.

- Everybody say "Jozi"!
- Jozi!

This is my baby,
this is my childhood home,

And these are my girls.

Now that i'm back
in the city of gold,

I'm inviting you to
follow me on my journey.

This is my life,
and this is my joburg diary.

Hi, Monique. Um.. It's Tali.

Please call me back.
It's a matter of urgency.

There is something extremely
important I need to ask you.

I am atoning,
and I have a lot to atone for.

Even though that was my vag*na,
I should not have done that.

Ironically, I was the one that
suffered the most in the end.

And then I went
and broke monique's nose!

So this yom kippur,

The person I need to ask for
forgiveness from the most

Is monique "the..."

Monique. Just monique.

Look, guys,
it's monique "the beak".

Monique "the beak".

Monique "the
beak". Monique "the beak".

- IT'S MONIQUE "THE BEAK".
- This is terrible. Tali?

Hi, Ashley. Um...

Please tell Monique I'm trying to get
a hold of her, if you see her.

And then I actually just wanted to
say that...

I am so sorry.. you know? I...

I treated you badly. I see that now.

And I probably should've paid a lot
more attention to your little book.

You do have talent.
The door is open when you are ready.

And you can fly back in, little bird.

Fly back in.

Oh my God, I am so starving!
When is this day gonna end?

Mikaela, it does not help that you
are crunching on biscuits in my ear

- the whole day.
- I'm pregnant.

Well you are lucky.
So lucky you don't have to fast.

Darren, I'm hangry!

And I can't get the Wordle.
Have you guys done it?

What was that?!

- Oh my God!
- Just tell me what it is.

It's a bird!

- Oh, no, look, it's broke...
- Oh my God. I think its hurt, Tals.

It's hurt its beak.
It's broken its beak, Darren!

Can we give it a painkiller
or something?

Mikaela, there's a bird.
It's broken its beak.

We'll have you back to normal
in no time.

Some ProNutro. It's a bit gross,
but the bird will love it.

- There we go. Drink up, little dove.

- Drink up.
- Don't come too close.

I got the Yom Kippur breath.

I feel like I've eaten Moses' slops.

What's with the bird?

Shame, it flew into the window
and broke its beak,

so Jayden and I are spending this
Yom Kippur nursing it back to health.

What's with you and beaks lately?

Didn't you break Monique's nose
the other day?

Thank you, Rael, it was an accident.

- What, Tals?

Oh my God. I knew that
this bird was a sign, guys.

Its broken beak
is Monique's broken nose.

What is happening?

I know how I need to apologise
to Monique.

Guys, thank you for coming.

I've gathered you all here
because I have an announcement.

I have decided to put on a play
at Jayden's school.

It is gonna be themed around birds.

Think "The Ugly Duckling" reimagined.

It's gonna be my greatest apology
yet.

- I'm hungry.
- I'm starving.

Mikaela, you're not even fasting.
Come on.

Anyway, I am relying on each
and every one of you guys

to help me bring this vision to life.

Darren and Rael,
you will be the set builders.

Okay. Mikaela, you're gonna help
with wardrobe and styling,

because you are so good at that.

- Mom...
- I can't wait to sing.

You're not singing. Sorry.

But you can help with choreography,
and musical arrangement,

seeing as though that's your passion,
clearly.

Ta, you can warm up the crowd
with your coffees.

I can also warm the crowd
with my jokes.

- Please God no.
- Absolutely not.

Sorry to say,
but you're not very funny.

It's Yom Kippur,
I'm just being honest.

Why.. How many psychologists
does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many?

One, but the lightbulb
has to want to change.

Dad, I'm gonna be relying on you
for some financing.

Surprise.

Jayden, you're gonna have to
audition, my boy.

I can't just cast you as
the lead bird,

because that would be nepotism,
and that will look really bad.

- Who could that be?

All my loved ones are here.

Ashley, today has been a day
filled with signs and wonders,

so I'm actually not surprised
to see you.

Is this you coming home?

Depends.

I need to know how much you need me.

Ashley, I could live without almost
anyone except you.

Then you have to take
my ideas seriously.

You mean your book.

Well I've actually started
a publishing company.

Here's a mock-up, Pigeon Books.

You started a publishing company
just to publish my book?

Well yes.. and no.
I'm also writing a self-help book,

and I'm gonna publish a selection
of Jayden's drawings

once he improves a bit.
But, Ashley, I can make you the next

Julia Donaldson
if you just stick with me.

Do we have a deal?

Oh, Ashley!

You have to promise not to work for
anyone else for as long as you live.

- Okay, Tali.
- I missed you so much.

I missed you too.

Yay.

Goodbye, little bird,
thank you for coming into my life

and for showing me the way,

but now it is time to say goodbye
and for you to be free.

And that is how,
by using the theme of birds,

we going to convey
a powerful message of love, power,

pride, and ultimately

- forgiveness.
- Hm.

Answer's no.

Okay, okay. I was anticipating that,

which is why I have self-funded
the entire project, okay?

Not a cent will come out of
the school kitty.

Tali, I don't think
you're processing what you've done.

This entire vag*na debacle

has bought the entire nursery school
into disrepute.

- We're still recovering from it.
- I know, I know, which is

which is honestly why
I think we all need this play.

It was supposed to be a surprise

but the whole play
is about bullying,

and lately I've come to realise
that...

I am a bully.

I am, there I said it.

You know, and it will just
have this message

that I think everyone can learn from,
myself included.

Ashley.. Stacey

put on your musical theatre hats
because we are putting on a play!

- Yay.

It's gonna be the best production
in the whole of South Africa.

Just take a nice deep breath, guys,

and then just touch the ground

then stretch up.

I always knew
I could be a director,

It's just in my personality.

So let's just sway like a swan,

and then like this.

- What is your name, my sweetheart?
- Kelly.

Great, now if you could be
any bird in the world,

- what bird would that be?
- An eagle.

An eagle, very good.
We need an eagle in the play.

Fly away, little bird, well done.
You're in.

We do a lot of vocal warm-ups,
it's so important, guys,

Because your voice
is your instrument.

- Be-be-be-be.
- Be-be-be-be.

- Bee-bee-bee-bee.
- Bee-bee-bee-bee.

Let's hear those bird sounds guys.

If you could be a bird,
what would that bird be?

- A hadeda.
- A hadeda.

And i'm treating it like
a professional production, hey.

We talking like the scale
of andrew lloyd webber.

The name of the play is
"beak street".

It's an original and there's some
big birds and some little birds,

And sometimes the big birds
are bullies.

Excuse me, can you just stand back
for a moment?

- I'm sorry.
- Mom, what are you doing here?

Tali, as Jayden's granny

I think it's only fair
that you allow me to audition

and I'm gonna be reading for
the dove of peace.

No, i'm sorry but she has gone
completely deaf.

We've all told her,
she doesn't listen. She cannot sing.

- You'll be hearing from me.
- You'll be hearing from us.

No, you'll be hearing from me first.

Well you won't actually be hearing
from us because...

I'll remember this.
What are you saying?

-Bye. Nothing
-See you later, Mom.

Okay, guys. Ms Harper,
we really need to get the cords right

for this one, please.

I can't believe Tali
won't give me a slot.

Listen to this,
when does a teacher carry bird seed?

At a parrot-teacher conference.
I got loads more.

I have chirpies.
Good news, it's tweetable.

You get it? Like I have herpes
but it's treatable.

You know what's funny about that
joke is herpes, not treatable.

- She gets it.

- Taryn, this is a children's play.
- Okay, what about

- what do you call a duck on drugs?
- What?

A quack head.

Tali, what the hell is this
"Beak Street"

I see come off my credit card here?

It is the name of the production,
Dad. You agreed to it.

Why don't you listen to anything
I have to say for once?

Okay, another thing,
you've upset your mother.

Oh, come on, I have told her
the show is already cast.

You humiliated me, Tali.

Ah please, you humiliated yourself,
Michelle.

Okay, okay. Please, please, please,
okay. Here's the deal, okay?

If you agree to cast your mother
in the play,

she agrees to get
her hearing checked.

Even though that my hearing is
absolutely fine.

- It is not.
- It really isn't.

- What did you say?
- Exactly my point.

Okay, fine.

One of the kids dropped out, so...

You're not gonna regret this,

I.. I have got just the outfit.
Les.

Guys, tonight is the night.

I'm extremely proud of each
and everyone of you

and you can be very proud
of yourselves.

So the main thing is to go out there
and have...

- Fun!
- That's right, okay.

Can I get a "Beak Street" squawk?

I love you guys. Break a leg.
Or should I say, break a beak.

Run along, do your warm-ups. Okay.

Tali, could I have a minute?

- Mm-hm.
- I just got an RSVP from Monique.

- And?
- She's not coming.

- What? Why?
- She didn't say.

Ashley,
this whole show is in her honour.

I mean, I've reserved
the whole front row

so that she can experience my apology
first-hand.

We need to get her here!

All of these houses look
exactly the same.

It's the one
straight up ahead.

- My wings.

- Yes!

- Stop! You're trespassing!

It's okay, we're not from here.
We are Capetonian.

- We mean you no harm.
- It's okay, guys.

- Tali, what are you wearing?
- Don't worry about that now.

Monique, I have wronged you, okay.

First, for teasing you for having
a beak-like nose,

which I should never have done.

But I think we can both agree that
it was for the better,

because now you have a stunning nose.

Well it was, before the accident.
Which really was an accident.

I am sorry.

I'm also really sorry that I tried to
pass my vag*na off as your own

in an attempt to humiliate you.
That was bad.

Now you want me to come back to
the school, Tali,

so that you can humiliate me
all over again?

No, Monique. Listen, I have really
done some soul-searching, okay?

I realise now that I was a bully.

I just need another chance, so that
you can see that I've changed.

It doesn't matter, Tali.

We're taking Jackson out of the
Little Angels of Hyde Park.

What? No, no, no, that's completely
unacceptable, Monique.

You guys are the reason that I got
in there in the first place.

That may be so.
But what's done is done, Tali.

Wait, wait! Monique, listen.
Please, please.

This whole play,
it is 100 percent for you.

Why do you think I'm dressed like
a swan? It's for you. Okay?

Look, if after you've
watched the play,

you still don't accept my apology,

not you, but I and Jayden will leave
Little Angels, for good. I swear.

That's how sure I am that this
apology will be meaningful to you.

Please, Monique.
I just need another chance.

We're not joking, Darren.

These colours are
absolutely beautiful.

I think we could maybe make
the Bo-Kaap of Joburg.

- Do you know what I'm saying?
- Ja, that's it.

- Beautiful, Joburg.
- I see the future.

- Melville skyline.
- Oh no.

- Monique and Garren are a no-show.
- Oh, guys...

Okay, we are not starting the show
until they get here.

- Okay.
- We need to buy some time.

Think. Think, Tali, think.

I got a new one. Where do
birds go to get their coffee?

- To the Nest Cafe.

- That is good, Taryn.
- That is brilliant!

Okay, Taryn, put down that tray.

You get out onto that stage
and you tell some bird jokes.

- Oh my God, are you serious?
- Yes!

- Like, now?
- Yes!

- Hold this.
- Don't embarrass me.

- What are you dressed as?
- I'm a penguin.

Taryn!
Taryn, here.

- Good evening.

What do you call
a funny chicken?

- A comedi-hen.

When is the best time to buy a bird?

- When it goes cheep.

What do you call
a sick eagle? Ill-eagle.

- That is quite funny.

I have herpes.
Good news, it's treatable.

- Someone, get her off the stage.

Oh. I mean, I have chirpies
and it's tweet-able.

- Do you get it?

- We need to just do...
- The eagle has landed.

- I repeat, the eagle has landed.
- Okay.

Can I try that again? Sorry.

- I have...
- Thank you very much, Taryn!

- I have...
- That will be all!

- I have chirp.. I have..

Okay, guys.
Hold on to your tail feathers,

because the show is about to begin!

Welcome to Beak Street.
The vibiest street in Johannesbeak.

Where the early bird catches the worm

and birds of a feather
hardly ever stick together.

Because they love diversity,
which is so important.

That was brutal. Oh my God.

This is where we lay
our scene. When, many months ago,

a new bird, a beautiful swan,
arrived with her young family

after escaping an epidemic
of bird flu in Cape Town.

At last,
a place we can call home!

- Or so Beautiful Swan thought.

We don't allow
your kind here.

You see, Beak Street was
extremely cliquey.

And just when Beautiful Swan
questioned

whether she'd made the right decision
leaving cape Town, help arrived

in the form of a large unsightly bird
commonly found in the Highveld,

- the hadeda.
- Caw!

Do you need help getting your chicken
to nursery school?

Yes! I do! Thanks, Hadeda.

- Call me Big Beak.

What, babe? It was funny.

If you elect me as class bird,
I promise I won't just wing it.

Just as Beautiful Swan tried to
spread her beautiful wings,

Big Beak clipped them
and crowned herself class bird.

- I'll take that.

But Big Beak made a big
mistake. She used her power for evil

and tried to cage Beautiful Swan
with her friend Stinky Pilchards!

Ew!

- Stinky.
- Ew!

Alas,
Beautiful Swan went too far.

She sent a very private picture
of Big Beak's untidy nest

to the whole bird's WhatsApp group
and ruffled Big Beak's feathers.

It did look a lot
like a nest actually.

Big Beak was furious
and a fight broke out.

And poor old Big Beak's beak
got broken.

Ow! My beak!

I can't go out there wearing
a bloody hearing aide, Mikaela.

Put it in.

Okay, I swear to you
it is invisible.

It was Yom Kippur,

and all the birds of Beak Street
were weak with hunger.

Beautiful Swan knew that
she needed to make amends.

That's when something
amazing happened.

Babe, is this play about us?

- Is it on?
- Yes.

- Go out there

- and make those parents weep.
- Okay.

Oh my God.

Oh, guys!

This is not really necessary.

And in fact,
these don't belong to me.

These belong to someone
who inspired this whole play.

Monique.

Where is Monique Silver?

- There she is. Come on up, Monique!

Can we have a big round
of applause for Monique?

Come on up, Monique.

That's right, she really deserves it.

These are for you, Monique.
You are my inspiration.

In case it was not clear,

I was the beautiful swan,
and Monique was the hadeda.

- You f*cking monster.

Pack it, Ashley.

I love you so much.

They say in judaism,
if you apologise three times

And the person still does not
accept your apology,

Then the onus is on them
to make amends.

And I apologised to monique
more than three times.

So I think we can safely say
I am absolved of my guilt.

I'm gonna miss you so much.

- You take care of little dog for me.
- Of course, big dog.

Is monique the reason
we've moved back to cape town?

No. Absolutely not.

Regardless of the fact that
my parent's house

Fell within the radius
of the restraining order

She took out on me and the school.

Rael, aren't you coming?

You know, Daz, the city's just
seeped into my bones.

The hustle here is too good.
Plus, Goldprop needs a Joburg branch.

One, two, Goldprop.

- I'm staying too.
- That's good, Taryn.

- Every big dog needs a little dog.
- What?

No, the stand-up scene here is fire.

I'm gonna make it burn.

Am I angry? No.

How could I be angry
when I have learned so much.

Tali!

Stacey, what on earth
are you doing here?

Take me with you, please?

Wish I could, Stace,
but it was always a trial period.

But I quit working
for Monique for you.

I know.
Which is why this is so difficult.

Let's go, guys.

Bye.

Come on, Stacey!
Before I change my mind.

Monique,
if you are watching this

And if it was not ill*gal
for me to make contact with you,

I would say.. Thank you.
And I forgive you.

- We're back.
- Bienvenue.

Life is full of lessons,

Twists and turns,
and forks in the road.

Rael Rosen!

And it just so happens
that the fork in the road that I took

Led me right back here,
back to cape town.

My one and only true home.

Babe, you're never gonna
guess what happened.

- What?
- The visas came through.

What?! What does this mean, Darren?

- I think you know what it means.
- Oh my God!

We are immigrating to Australia!

Aw. I'm sorry, guys.
You can't come with.

But I love you guys so much.

Bye.