01x02 - Burn Me When I'm Gone

[bunniefuu]

Mary: My daughter, Theresa,

she was taken.

Now I know who did it,

but I can't prove that.

♪

Parker, your man,

a serial k*ller.

Can't you tell me

the truth, Karen?

I never saw her.

Pete: You ready to be Emma Hall

in witness protection?

I don't have to tell you

to stay away

from young women.

-[ Gasps, whimpers ]

-[ Grunts ]

You my true friend, Emma Hall.

John: I was a predator,

but now I am well.

I need you

to find someone for me.

-Christopher Parker's dead.

-[ Gasps ]

Do you trust me?

[ Sobs ]

Pete: We're gonna keep

working on the memories

that you can't recall.

What's your name?

Theresa.

♪

She was a girl I met,

a friend

You made a friend already?

Some girls were giving her

a hard time --

I stepped in for her.

How?

I told them to leave her alone.

♪

[ Sighs ]

She --

She's 14.

Her name's Jess.

♪

[ Door creaks open ]

♪

Emma?

♪

♪

♪

[ Gasps ]

♪

-[ Indistinct P.

-A. announcement ]

Woman: So I guess you're trying

to make things look nice

before you leave us.

I didn't get it -- the job.

Oh, John.

I'm so sorry.

It was so perfect for you.

You know so much about cars.

Yeah, I don't have

the sales experience.

I mean, look at me --

going from frozen food

to selling Chryslers? [ Laughs ]

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, you must've been bad

in a past life.

That's why Jana keeps you

out here on frozen.

[ Chuckles ]

♪

Love is a virtuous mind

that creates

only peace and happiness.

Love is a virtuous mind

that creates

only peace and happiness.

♪

She was lying on the ground,

and there was blood

on her dress. There --

She'd been stabbed.

There was a man in a hood.

He grabbed me.

Look, I've got marks.

Yeah, that's a chigger bite.

If you go out and play

in the bayou,

you're gonna get cut

and scratched and bit.

There's a lot of nature

out there.

It's not a bite.

There's something in there.

♪

You can't drink

on the meds you're taking.

I needed something.

[ Thud ]

You wanna take a minute

and talk about

why you trashed this place?

Does it matter?

Well, you think you saw

a dead girl, so yeah.

It does matter.

I told you that

one of the side effects

of the meds that you're on

is hallucinations.

So if you drink

while you're taking the meds,

you're gonna have

very vivid hallucinations.

You saw a lot of blood.

It scared the hell out of you.

But in the end,

all you saw was a bird --

-a pelican.

-I saw her.

Pete, I saw her.

You and I both know

that you get blackouts.

Of things that I don't remember,

not of things that I do.

And we're still trying

to piece together

the things

that you don't remember.

You're in witness protection

because of Parker.

He k*lled himself yesterday.

That would unhinge anyone.

So if I imagined it,

then she'll still be

where she was, right?

At the --

the group home in town?

What group home?

St. Jerome House.

She wasn't happy there,

she wanted to run away.

♪

Emma, listen to me.

You can't go anywhere near

a place like that ever again.

You can't make friends

with vulnerable young girls.

You have a history --

an unfair one --

but you have a history

that no one can know about.

Do you understand?

I need to refill your meds.

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

[ Gargles ]

[ Spits ]

♪

♪

♪

"Stress is the most common cause

of an addictive

behavior resurfacing.

Anniversaries

and key milestones

may also trigger relapses."

♪

[ Long exhale ]

♪

Feels like we're in a movie.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, yeah? Which one?

Um, do you have any tea --

something, uh, decaf?

We got chamomile.

Now I think about it, I guess

it's like a lot of movies --

it's hard to narrow it down --

guess I'll just say

"When Harry Met Sally."

You're not eating?

Ah, don't let that stop you.

Tea for two.

So, Mrs. Barlow,

I'm still a little unclear

about how this would work

in practice,

what -- what you're looking

for me to do.

When I came to you,

um, I was not thinking

very clearly.

I'd had a very bad day.

I am sorry.

And I guess it might seem like

an odd thing to ask for.

It's actually very simple.

I just need you to find her,

tell me where Karen Miller is.

I've done some research --

she's gone.

She has a new identity.

I couldn't find out

who she's become.

I don't have

those kinds of resources.

I'm not a cop.

Something has, uh,

stayed with me

ever since you came

to my office.

Do you remember

talking about the gap --

the space between what your

victims

I accept that term.

Between what they thought

was safety

and what was safety.

I appreciate that,

and I'm flattered

that my words had impact.

But, uh, that was

a different context

and I don't feel comfortable

repackaging it.

But you repackaged it.

What I mean is,

you found a way to change it up.

And now you "know better,

you do better," right?

Bad for good.

I know that might be

a little simplistic.

A little.

[ Clears throat ]

"He found the things

his victims loved

and he used them as a way

to get inside their lives."

That was the prosecutor's

closing statement at your trial.

Now, I think you could

just as easily

apply that technique

to our situation.

Find the things

Karen Miller loved.

Find the gap.

♪

My number's on that cellphone.

And this is for anything

you might need.

The credit card of executives.

It's a debit.

Oh.

I think you're the man

for the job, John.

So I gotta go.

Can you, uh, pick this up?

On expenses?

[ Laughs ]

♪

Yeah.

♪

[ Door opens ]

Georgia: Oh, my God, Rose,

what happened?

Girl.

Hey, Emma, this is Rose,

her family's

a big part of this town.

They practically rebuilt us

after Katrina.

Hi.

And, Rose,

the answer's still no.

Your mama wants your hair

long and pretty

for the Festival of Saints.

You don't know my mother, right?

So you'll do it.

You don't know my work --

it's quite a risk.

♪

Don't turn her into no punk.

♪

What kind of coffee you want?

Man: I'll take a decaf.

Cream or no cream?

No cream.

♪

♪

You gonna make trouble for me?

I don't know yet.

♪

♪

Reporter: Angela Miller?

Did your daughter help him?

[ Reporters shouting

indistinctly ]

Did your daughter help him?

Is it true you struggle

with alcohol?

Are you still drinking?

[ Reporters shouting

indistinctly ]

♪

♪

[ Water pouring from faucet ]

♪

You have deep indentations --

were you a difficult birth?

You get a lot of migraines?

When some b*tch slams my head

against the mirror.

[ Turns faucet off ]

Why'd you call her trash?

Does it matter?

Are you a friend of hers

or something?

I've never seen you here before.

What do you want from me?

New look.

[ Water spraying ]

Something to go with my nose.

Sure I don't have to check

with your mother first?

Do you have to check

with Georgia to make sure

you're safe with scissors?

Why did you do it?

I didn't like

what you called her.

I don't know whether that

makes you scary or amazing.

♪

We've got to get going

right now.

Yeah.

[ Sighs ] We are so grateful

you're able to do this, Mary.

Are you kidding? Of course.

We're all appreciative

of your commitment.

We've have had a little luck --

Larissa Barbola,

Connie's mother.

You know Larissa, right?

We're gonna go across

to her now.

So you're gonna do

a split screen?

We're actually heading

straight to Larissa's place.

You're bumping me?

Christopher Parker admitted

to Connie's m*rder --

she's a confirmed victim.

[ Laughs ]

Look, Larissa is great,

and all that matters is

we're talking about

Parker and Miller again.

[ Cellphone ringing ]

Will you get these people

out of my house?

Yeah.

♪

♪

♪

♪

[ Train whistle blows ]

Emma: [ Sighs ]

[ Siren chirps ]

-Hey.

-Hey.

You're a cop?

I'm gonna be a detective.

I'm just waiting for the

opportunity to present itself.

Ah!

You okay?

Can I get a ride?

I'm out on the Longbank.

Larissa: I think he dodged

this b*llet.

Host: Because of the brutal

m*rder of your daughter.

I'm sorry.

Mary: Look,

I don't blame Larissa.

I mean, my God, I feel like

crying every day, too.

But she is literally

turn-up-and-cry mom,

whereas I don't --

I don't cry on cue.

That's why they bumped me.

I mean, they all but said

there's a ranking system.

You should have

pushed them on that.

You acted like

you were fine with it.

Because I can't look like

an as*h*le.

I'm not saying

you have to do a ceremony

or officially mourn --

I know you're not there --

but maybe think about

the vigil --

why don't you just make it

something small,

personal, healing --

don't make it about anyone else.

You, me, and Dad

go to Holy Trinity

and stand around a candle,

and say nice things

to each other.

Let's just remember

what this guy did.

He abducted women,

he kept them in his van,

and he bashed in their faces

with a claw hammer.

I don't want to remember.

Okay, I don't want my head

full of that sh*t.

Have fun talking to the TV, Mom.

I'm gonna grab a little bit

of the life that's hurrying by.

♪

Operator: A St. J girl --

Tina Monro --

gone off grid,

-Tina Monro, 15

-This isn't my car.

Hispanic, 5'6",

dark-brown hair

I got eyes on the River Road.

St. J is what?

Saint James?

St. Jerome.

It's a group home

on the edge of town.

And a girl's missing from there?

Sometimes a kid disappears

for a night.

Mostly they come back

before breakfast.

"Mostly"?

What, some of the girls

don't come back?

[ Strong inhale, gasps ]

sh*t.

That -- That looks bad.

It's fine.

-It's just a sting.

-No, that's infected.

You need to see someone.

I can take you to a doctor.

Mmm-mmm. I don't need a doctor.

Okay, well,

then I'll look at it myself.

♪

-Ow! Ow!

-Okay, okay. I -- um

-So you're from Seattle?

-Mmm-hmm.

-Aah!

-Do you miss it?

No, I don't.

I try to stay in the moment.

Ow!

Oh, God, just get it out!

Ow! Ow!

Oh, God! [ Breathes heavily ]

Whoa, what is that? A needle?

♪

♪

Angela: I got sober

five years ago.

That's why I'm alive. [ Laughs ]

That's all I can say.

I'm, uh,

I'm breathing.

[ Voice breaking ]

I'm still sober.

Thank you, Angela.

There's a lot of love

and light around you.

Anyone else like to share?

Uh, hi. I'm John,

and I'm an alcoholic.

-Hi, John.

-Hello, John.

I'm five years sober now, too.

So jinx.

♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Church bell tolling ]

Don't know what I would do

without those meetings.

[ Chuckles ] Yeah.

[ Both cars beep at same time ]

Jinx.

♪

I'm gonna sit down now.

Are you okay? Oh, my God!

-I'm okay.

-Oh, my God, no.

I'm all right.

This happens to me.

Are you all right?

I'm so sorry. Please go.

No, no, no. Uh, look,

do you want some water,

or what can I do for y--?

I'm so embarrassed right now.

Um, could you hold my legs

for me, please?

Oh. Uh

Just so I can get the blood --

-No, no.

-I haven't been drinking.

Hi, I'm John. I'm a fainter.

[ Chuckles ]

I'm a dentist --

I get a lot of fainters.

[ Strong inhale ]

You need to eat something.

Okay?

It wasn't the medication,

it wasn't a hallucination.

It happened, Pete.

This happened.

I -- I remember the man --

I remember

he grabbed my leg, and --

and then I felt this pain and

now I know it was the needle.

The needle that I have

right in front of me.

So if that was real,

then Jess was real too.

Pete: Emma, I need you to take

a breath, all right?

Now, I'm gonna come see you

tomorrow and we're gonna work

-this whole thing out.

-No, Pete, I need you

to call the police now,

and I need you to have them

go to St. Jerome

and check her room.

Just check her room.

No. We're not calling

the police, all right?

And we're not gonna talk

to them about a girl

that you think is dead.

No, I don't think she's dead!

I know what I saw.

Jess is dead

and there's a man out there

who knows that I saw it too,

so if you're not gonna

deal with this, then I will.

You do anything

and you're gonna get

a big red flag

above your head, okay?

I'll look into it.

It's called

the St. Jerome House.

It's on the edge of town,

I don't know the address.

Okay. I'll call them.

Though I'm pretty sure

they're not gonna give

information out to a stranger.

Do me a favor --

take your pills,

go to bed, and just stay there.

♪

Lisa: So, I was thinking

about my dad today.

And I remembered

this thing he would do.

It's like he always thought

-I had a motive.

-[ Cellphone vibrates ]

I remembered this one time

I was probably six.

He went out to buy candy

for my mom.

I don't know, maybe he

was trying to get her into bed.

Anyway, I went with him,

and he literally bought

a stack of candy bars, like --

Pete, are you even listening?

Totally. Your dad, candy --

Baby, you've told me this story.

[ Baby cooing ]

I can't tell you

something twice?

Of course you can.

You can tell me a million times.

All I'm saying is

that I remember.

And it's more than twice.

♪

Your dad, the ride home

where you were the best

little girl in the world, hmm?

'Cause you wanted the candy,

but your dad made you feel like

that was unnatural --

like it was a bad thing, hmm?

You dad made you feel like you

always had an ulterior motive,

and this makes you feel like

you're not genuine.

But you still wanted that candy,

-didn't you?

-[ Giggling ]

Yes, of course

I wanted the candy,

because what child

doesn't want the candy?

Hey.

You used to want

to listen to me.

You used to pay me $100 an hour

to listen to you.

Well, I'll leave the money

on the bedside,

you mercenary sh*t.

♪

Angela: Thank you.

-And now you're feeding me.

-Hmm.

I feel comforted

yet infantilized.

Hashtag secretly loving it.

It's a way to make

an impression.

Uh, it's a meeting thing.

I really have a hard time

speaking in public.

And [Chuckles] actually,

I usually faint before talking,

and this time

I put my audience first.

Show goes on.

And you go down?

Apparently so.

[ Chuckles ]

♪

John: I feel ashamed.

I have a daughter.

I messed her up.

♪

Well, if it makes you feel

any better, I, uh --

I have a daughter

and I messed her up, too.

Excuse me. Could I have

some water, please.

Man: Of course.

I'm sure you're being

hard on yourself.

Do you see her?

Thank you.

[ Sighs ]

So, what's your daughter's name?

Theresa.

It's pretty.

♪

Do you smoke?

♪

[ Siren wails in distance ]

I let my daughter drive me home.

There was a lot of ice

on the road.

We hit a tree. Police came.

She's 14 and I'm trashed.

So right there and then

I'm an unfit mother.

It was our last night together.

Hey, I was -- I was so out of it

I forgot to get my daughter

from summer camp.

And she got a ride home

with a stranger.

Something happened.

She never told me what.

But she told my wife,

and I have, uh,

never seen her again.

What's her name?

Uh, your wife I mean.

Mary.

Mary.

♪

Uh, I didn't know

you got ice in Texas.

No, it was Minnesota --

I was seeing this guy up there.

So my daughter went

into foster care.

And, uh, it was supposed

to be temporary --

she'd -- she'd come back to me

when she wanted.

But, um

I guess she never wanted to.

So I'm a grieving mother

and a bad mother

and, um, I traded my alcohol

for cigarettes,

but

You are a good person, Angela.

[ Laughs ]

You're sweet.

Mmm-mmm

I raised a monster.

My daughter got

into some trouble.

So whenever anybody

dredges something up

or there's a significant date,

I get a, um,

redecoration of my house

by the sanctimonious

little shits in town.

-So move.

-[ Chuckles ]

You are a good person, Angela.

♪

♪

♪

Jess: [ Tearfully ]

Emma, please, I need you!

-[ Birds squawk ]

-[ Gasps ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

♪

He thinks I'm fixed.

He thinks he fixed me.

Pete likes to be the savior.

And if I tell him about you,

he's gonna wonder why I need you

and what I tell you.

Are there things he doesn't

want you to share with me?

You know,

that's the crazy thing.

He has all my secrets --

all the things I told him --

but all that time

it was about me,

never him.

And I thought that was love.

And what do you think it is now?

Power.

Over you?

I don't think

he thinks of me at all.

He's there, in the house,

but he isn't present --

he doesn't see me.

So why do you stay, Lisa?

If you don't feel loved or seen?

For my daughter.

She's my miracle.

And he loves her,

he makes her feel safe.

Girls without fathers

are afraid of the world.

And what about girls

with bad fathers?

He's not a bad father.

He's just not a good husband.

And what about girls

with bad fathers?

He's not a bad father.

He's just not a good husband.

So who do you turn to,

when you get your nightmares?

Because you do still get them,

don't you?

My daughter.

Want this back in there?

I hold her.

I feel her heartbeat.

Till it's just her and me --

and those memories are gone.

[ Organ music playing ]

♪

You brought the other parents?

I had to make this count.

This was just supposed to be us,

something quiet.

Quiet's not gonna

find your sister.

-Mary, hey.

-Hi.

-Hi, Mary.

-Hi.

-Thanks for coming, Mary.

-Thank you.

[ Applause ]

-How are you?

-I'm good.

You good?

Oh.

Nice to see you.

Thank you.

[ Applause ]

♪

Mary: Thank you. Thank you.

Please, please be seated.

Thank you so much for coming.

Janice Dunne

doesn't get married.

Martha Schulz can't kiss

her daddy goodbye --

he's already gone from cancer.

Marissa Watkins

doesn't get to be an Auntie.

Diane Lapsley doesn't finish

her paper on genetics.

Laura Danone doesn't

start her new job,

and Connie Barbola's not there

when her grandfather dies.

I want to remember their names,

not just the name of the man

who took them from us.

All these mothers,

all these fathers behind me --

they felt something when

they lost their daughters --

an instinct.

Trust it, listen to your gut.

Look for my daughter.

Remember a night seven years ago

and a gas station in Nevada

when she was in the same place

at the same time

as the man

who k*lled all these women.

What happened to her

when she drove away?

My daughter is out there.

♪

Other people's daughters

who may have been taken

by this man are out there too.

But we won't give up.

We remember you

and we will find you.

[ Applause ]

♪

♪

♪

Karen: Do you believe in

an afterlife?

Because you finished

your Milky Way

and you wonder

where candy bars go?

I can be deep.

I look at the stars and I think,

"Is that where we go?"

I believe in a soul --

a pure center.

Like the light in that star.

Which one, that one --

The other one.

-That little one?

-The one next to it.

[ Laughs ] Which, that?

[ Laughs ] Not that one?

[ Sighs ]

I believe you have to honor

your soul,

process it out --

so it has a path to travel,

not just lost in the dark.

Is that a yes?

You could've just said yes.

[ Laughs ]

♪

Will you burn me when I'm gone?

You're not going anywhere.

Stay with me.

♪

♪

♪

No.

Here.

♪

I don't want to be a question.

You're a puzzle.

♪

You know it's love.

♪

♪

[ Birds chirping ]

♪

Emma: [ Whispering ]

So your soul doesn't wander.

So you have a place up there,

with the stars.

This is how I honor you.

♪

♪

[ Whispering indistinctly ]

♪

♪

[ Sighs ]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

You need a ride?

Come on, get in.

It's late. It's raining.

It's not safe for you

to be out here

on the side of the road

like this.

I prefer to walk.

You're one of those girls,

aren't you?

From the group home.

What are you doing

out here tonight?

Who are you, mister?

I'm just a friend of a friend.

Are you okay?

♪

♪

[ Insects chirping ]

♪

♪

Do you know

how disappointing it is

not to be able

to trust you, Rose?

All we want is for you

to look and do your best.

Daddy likes my hair.

Mom, don't.

[ Lock rattling,

keys jingling ]

-Until you can be trusted

-Please.

you cannot be trusted.

Don't lock me in, Mom.

Don't lock me in, please!

[ Lock clicks ]

♪

♪

[ Cellphone chimes ]

♪

♪

♪

[ Door creaks loudly ]

Tina, we've been looking

all over for you.

-Mmm-hmm.

-What are you playing at,

-young lady?

-[ Slurred ] Go to hell.

♪

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Breathing rapidly ]

More.

Actually, I don't think I can.

I got a cramp in my jaw.

Work it out, Adam.

[ Cellphone vibrates ]

This is --

This is work, I gotta --

Gotta take it.

Hello?

John: Uh, Mrs. Barlow?

This is John Tyler.

Did you find something,

from her mother?

No, there's

no relationship there.

No link back to Karen

through her mother.

Then what do you have?

She was, uh, fostered.

Mrs. Barlow?

Where was the foster home?

In Minnesota.

It -- It seems

a very strong link.

John, this is good.

I'm really glad

that I could be of help.

When can you leave

for Minnesota?

No. Uh, we've had

a misunderstanding.

I can't leave Texas.

I'd be breaching

the terms of my parole.

And I worked very hard

to get my early release,

so I would never

jeopardize that.

I'm sorry.

I -- I don't make the rules.

You have nothing to worry about.

I have a lot of

influential friends,

I'll square it up

with your parole officer,

make him understand this.

-Or her?

-Or her.

But you understand my point?

You need to get to Minnesota.

You're good at this.

You're helping me, John,

and you're flourishing.

♪

[ Breathes deeply ]

I'm so proud of you, Mom.

We got a call --

somebody saw the vigil.

There was another girl

who was never found.

Just like Theresa.

You were right to not give up.

♪

I thought you was Jessie.

Tina: You should be asleep.

I can't sleep.

Jessie had the sense

to keep going.

She's gonna make a life

for herself out there.

So, 'night.

You should go too,

'cause we got the devil here.

[ Sighs ]

♪

Angela: It was weird. He was --

He was kinda odd,

but he was kinda nice too.

I mean, he's in recovery, but

Anyway, I'm not --

I'm not looking for something.

I, uh, I think I'm gonna sell.

She's not coming back.

Karen's never coming home again.

-[ Glass shatters ]

-[ Gasps ]

♪

♪

♪

If you do a bad thing

and don't feel bad afterwards,

is it still a bad thing?

[ Laughing ]

If you do a bad thing

and don't feel bad afterwards

♪

♪

Emma: I don't want to be

a question.

♪

♪

♪

[ Sighs ]

[ Line ringing ]

Hey, this is Jess.

-Leave a message.

-[ Beep ]

I'm gonna find out

what happened.

The truth about everything.

Because I'm not crazy,

and I know what I saw.

♪

Because I've seen it before.

I just -- I just don't know

how to make sense of it.

♪

♪

But I'm gonna find out

what happened to you.

I'm gonna make this right.

I promise you.

Because I don't want

to be afraid anymore.

It's dangerous to be afraid.

♪

♪

♪

♪

Child: Tell me a story.