The Other, Gold (2024)

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(Hip-Hop Theme Music)

(Sirens wailing, Funeral Organs)

(Sirens wailing)

(gentle music)

(gentle music)

- [Male Pastor] He said, brothers, I will tell you.

I'll tell you what I was talking about.

I'm trying to tell you that, in a few days,

I'm going to go through some things.

And, the truth is, it's gonna be sad in a few days.

In a few days, you guys are gonna weep.

You're gonna mourn.

But, the world, some folks

in the world are gonna have a party.

They're gonna rejoice.

In a few days, I'm trying to tell you,

you will grieve for a little while.

But, if you hang in there, tap your neighbor,

if you hang in there, your sorrows

your sorrows will turn to joy.

Tell your neighbor to hang

in there for a little while.

This was spoken around the time

that he was sharing his

last supper with the disciples.

And, I'm trying to tell you that he knew,

Jesus knew that his time on earth would not be long.

He knew it would be painful for his disciples

when he would be separated from them.

And, so he tried his best to comfort them.

He knew that it would be difficult for those

that loved him, but look at this,

he also knew something else.

He knew that they would be strong,

that they would rejoice when he was gone.

- [Farrah Henry] Amen.

- [Male Pastor] That hit me right between the eyes

because it makes you realize,

no matter how good or how effective or how...

- [Farrah Henry] My God.

- [Male Pastor]... holy you might think you are...

- [Farrah Henry] Amen.

- [Male Pastor] There's somebody

that will be happy when you're gone!

- [Farrah] Amen!

Amen!

(Hip-Hop Theme Music)

- [Male Pastor] Ye shall not

see me, and, again, in a little while.

- [Shonnie Henry] Look at this fool.

She at a virtual funeral.

- [Male Pastor] A little while and

you shall see me before I go.

- [Shonnie Henry] I know you not touching and agreeing.

- [Shonnie] Girl.

- [Male Pastor] The word that God has given us...

- [Shonnie] Are you f*cking kidding me?

Girl, they can't see you.

- [Farrah] Shhh!

- [Shonnie] Don't shush me.

They can't hear you either.

- [Farrah] Oh my gosh!

Can you have some respect?

- [Shonnie] I got plenty of respect.

And now see, come on, Deaconess Farrah,

you on the praise and worship team, too?

- [Farrah] Like a little bit of reverence.

- [Shonnie] I got a lot of reverence.

You know I done went down

and seen Nipsey Hussle memorial down on Crenshaw?

That's all the reverence I needed.

Gone too soon.

- [Farrah] I'm not talking about Nipsey Hussle, Shonnie.

I'm talking about my mom's

best friend who just passed away,

who's like a aunt to me.

- [Shonnie] Yeah, Mrs. Delilah.

She was so nice.

I mean, Delores, right?

- [Farrah] You know full well her name is not Delilah.

- [Shonnie] My bad. See, it's the liquor.

- [Farrah] There ain't no Black people named Delilah,

and you trying to be funny.

- [Shonnie] Why you pointin' ya finger? You really

in church, girl. You got that church finger.

I can't with you.

Listen, what are we doing?

- [Farrah] I'm focused on the funeral

that I was telling you about, and

I thought you were coming here

to support me through said funeral,

but clearly that's not the case.

- [Shonnie] We need to count the ways

of how many times I supported you?

Remember when those girls was trying

to jump yo a*s down at the projects?

Who'd you call?

Huh? Huh? That'd be me.

- I should have called the Ghostbusters instead

of calling you, because at

least Ghostbusters won't bring it

up in the middle of a funeral. It's a funeral!

- [Shonnie] You should've called Ghostbusters to slime

that nut a*s dude you was messing

with that had you all caught up in that sou-sou.

Yeah, uh-huh.

That you tried to get me into.

Run me my money.

How about that?

- [Farrah] If I run you some money,

will you go get a full outfit on?

- [Shonnie] Excuse me?

- [Farrah] We are 16 miles away from water,

and you walking around in a bikini.

And, I promise you the only people...

- [Shonnie] No, no, no this is a cover up.

- [Farrah] The only people

downtown Los Angeles who walk

around like this with no clothes

and shoes on are homeless.

- [Shonnie] Whoa. You trying to say I'm homeless?

Because I got a whole three bedroom,

two bath apartment back home, boo, okay?

- [Farrah] Can I please just grieve in peace?

- [Shonnie] Go on, grieve in peace.

Do what you wanna do.

But, I'm going out to party.

It's my last day in LA, and I did not come here

to watch a virtual funeral.

I came to LA to turn up. You know?

Visit the Hollywood sign, do a little shopping, right?

(Pinging sound)

- [Shonnie] Our ride is here.

You know those two cuties that we met?

Should I tell them to come on up, or?

Oh, first, you gotta change your clothes.

You are not going anywhere with me looking like that.

- [Farrah] Shonnie, nobody is coming upstairs.

It's COVID if you hadn't noticed.

And, the only reason you are

up here is because we're family,

and I thought that you were gonna be here with me

through this. But, clearly that's not the case.

- [Shonnie] Girl, I can't with you.

- [Farrah] So, if you need to go and catch your little ride,

do your thing.

- [Shonnie] So, you gonna let me go with them by myself?

- [Farrah] I'm not going out with some

of your little cronies that you done met out here!

- [Shonnie] Cronies?

What kind of word is that?

That's some LA sh*t?

You know what?

It's "the homies".

- [Farrah] Okay, well if you and the homies

wanna roll, by all means.

- [Shonnie] Just gonna let me go out there and be

in this car with two strangers that I don't even know?

- [Farrah] I will call Liam Neeson.

- [Shonnie] Who?

- [Farrah] Exactly.

- [Shonnie] See, you Hollywood.

I can't with you.

See, you be doing the absolute most, okay?

You know what, I'm gonna let them know

that I'm coming without you.

Morticia will not be joining us.

- [Farrah] Great. Take your little

jokes and your dark liquor with you.

- [Shonnie] It's brown liquor.

- [Farrah] Whatever.

- [Shonnie] You know what?

You right. I'm out!

- [Farrah] Amen.

- [Shonnie] Have fun at the repast.

- [Farrah] Ha. Ha. Ha.

- [Shonnie] Ha. Ha.

- [Farrah] Have fun getting abducted.

- [Shonnie] Abduc...

Girl, I got my mace for that, okay?

Yup, let me just double check.

Sure. Do.

- [Farrah] And, you don't find it a problem

that you have to bring mace on a date?

- [Shonnie] Nope! My mama raised me well, boo.

Always carry it with you.

- [Farrah] Mm-mm.

And leave my sunglasses back on the table, please!

- [Shonnie] Girl, you can keep your swap meat sunglasses.

- [Farrah] To match your swap meat outfit.

- [Shonnie] I look cute, though.

- [Farrah] Yeah, clearly,

we have very different definitions

of what it means to borrow.

- [Shonnie] You know what?

Imma cut you when I come back.

- [Farrah] Yeah. Looking forward.

- [Male Pastor] What's wrong with Jesus?

He been on vacation?

He must've been drinking while he was on vacation.

What's wrong with him?

Is he losing his mind?

Is he on drugs?

So, what is he talking about, in a little while?

You see there?

They were confused but they would

not share their confusion with him.

(Soft Music)

- [Farrah] Please don't text me

that somebody passed away.

(Sirens wailing)

- [Farrah] Yeah, no.

Just, you gotta pick up the phone for stuff like that.

You know... that's, yeah.

No, daddy, that's something I

would expect from a millennial.

(Gentle music)

- [Farrah] I tried. I tried to walk

them through the difference

between a trust and a will.

They did not give a damn.

(Gentle music)

- [Farrah] And, you funny because White

people don't even know what a repast is.

And, Black people don't know how to spell the sh*t.

No, I'm serious.

I done seen it all kinds of crazy ways.

Girl, it's repast, with a "T", R-E-P-A-S-T.

As in "tomorrow".

(Gentle music)

- [Farrah] Dad, I'm not saying it's your fault that he died.

I'm just saying don't text me about it.

You're a boomer.

(Gentle music)

(Phone ringing)

- [Farrah] Hey, I was just calling to

see how you guys were all doing.

Yeah. Oh! You're still at the repast?

No. Yeah, I can hear everybody in the back.

Uh-huh, I thought you guys would've been home already.

No. I couldn't come for anything.

Uh, ya know...

Still a pandemic.

Yeah. No, if somebody sneezes next to me right now,

I'm gonna have a f*cking heart attack.

Yeah.

I know. I know.

I wish I could've been there, too.

Yeah.

Yeah. No, it's hard.

It's hard not being there with y'all.

But, I'm sending my love, please, to everyone,

and you know I love you.

And, you call me if you need to talk or...

actually, when everything is done, I mean

you give me a call, or if I think you guys

are done already, I'll give you a call.

I know the time difference is a little nuts.

Mm-hmm, okay.

Yeah. Talk soon.

Bye-bye.

(Call drops)

(Gentle music)

- [Pervis] Whatchu talking about, man?

- [Gerald Henry] Jiminy Cricket

lookin' a*s! Get out my shop!

- [Pervis] Bro, I'm tellin' you, get out his shop!

- You mad 'cause LeBron

hairline cost more than this shop.

2014 called. Usher want his Mohawk back, man.

- Magic Johnson!

Nobody in here got no hairline

strong enough to hate on LeBron.

He talkin' about he trying to grow dreads

like Kyle Anderson from Memphis.

Kyle ain't got no f*ck' dreads, man!

- [Gerald Henry] What? Ha!

- [Gerald] How a mothafucka named "Pervis"

up in my shop gonna tell me Trae Young

ain't better than got damn Steph Curry?

And, he better than Giannis

Antetokounmpo, Greek Freak!

- [Pervis] Bruh, you ain't even from here.

I'm from Atlanta, and I know that's cap.

Ain't y'all boys from up top supposed

to like them lousy Knicks or something like that?

- [Gerald] Aye, I could like the boy

if I want to, aight?

This's my shop. I could say Bill Cartwright

over everybody, aight?

- [Pervis] Man, don't nobody give a damn

about this being your shop.

If you like Trae because he

your boy, then just say that.

But, don't be in here trying to make us believe

that he better than LeBron.

Man, that's some sacrilegious ball baggin',

you know what I'm saying?

- [Gerald] I'm doing what, boy?

- [Pervis] I said you baggin' ba*ls, boy.

- [Gerald] Aye, you inviting me to your d*ck, boy?

I'm telling you... cut his clippers off!

- [Pervis] Cut what clippers off?

- [Gerald] Cut the boy clippers off,

and get outta here with half a haircut!

- [Pervis] Cut the clippers off who, homeboy?

Because you don't know how to ball?

You don't know no ball players (indistinct)...

Man, look here I...

- [Gerald] Bruh, you got

on a purple, pink a*s what's that supposed to be?

Fuchsia? Plum?

What's that?

You fly who?

- I don't care about none of that Atlanta stuff, boy!

- [Pervis] Boy, get yo top hat self outta here!

- [Gerald] What you talking? Top hat?

Boy, you lookin' like the pink panther

up in here! (Multiple speakers).

- [Zawuri] Whoa, whoa, whoa! Brothers, hold on!

Every time I come into this establishment,

there's a great deal of discussion in regards

to professional sports, which should remind us all

of the transatlantic sl*ve trade.

We, as dignified brothers of the diaspora,

should be using this time

to discuss the important issues

going on in our communities.

We should be creating opportunities

to encourage our youth to focus on science,

financial literacy and entrepreneurship.

We should be expounding on

how to cultivate upward mobility

and how to be better to our women...

Or...

Men.

(Applause)

- [Pervis] Men?

What the... Did he say "Men"?

Man, sit your goofy a*s down somewhere!

Whatchu clapping for?

- [Zawuri] Yes, as brothers.

Why don't we, uh, discuss the, uh, serious implications

on what it means to be a neo activist?

Why don't we conduct discussions on how

to build understanding and

diaspora owned legal businesses?

Why don't we make this an open forum

of progression, love and unity.

- [Pervis] Bruh, getcha... man, don't nobody care nothing

about your rainbow coalition vocabulary up in here.

Man, take your unity and your

"commune-ti-ty" up the street

to mothafuckin' Supercuts, bruh.

- [Gerald] Aye, and why don't we...

Take that eight piece suit off

and get out my shop with that on?

- [Pervis] Fonzworth "Rentley" suit wearing a*s dude

up here, man.

- [Gerald] Ole dating a girl from Ireland trying

to be the mayor of Decatur a*s!

Ole Kevin Samuels a*s!

(Laughter)

- [Gerald] Aye!

Aye!

High waters, you can see his cankles!

- [Zawuri] At least there's some unity now.

- [Pervis] Unity? Unity?!

Boy, you don't know nothing 'bout no unity.

This suit is segregated!

Matter of fact, that suit is prejudiced.

Boy, they ain't together at all.

It say coloreds and uncoloreds over here!

It say style and no style.

Wild and no wild.

Boy, you need... you got a flag on up under there, but

it's a confederate flag

because it's some sl*very going on in that suit, boy.

(indistinct)

That suit is whipping your a*s, boy!

It's saying, "Free at last!

Free at last!

Thank God almighty, you ain't free, boy!"

Samuels suit wearin' a*s boy up in here, man!

- [Gerald] Ole Booker T. Washington last book a*s!

- [Barber] Here's a new sample shipment,

and ole boy just reminded me to

tell you about my new business,

Moe's Credit Repair.

- [Gerald] Oh. Say no more.

You see there, two Black brothers coming together

for the dialysis.

And, you know what

for you, we even gonna involve a Black Queen.

(Gentle music)

I got you.

(Phone ringing)

- [Gerald] Farrah Moooooooonch!

Peace and abundance, Queen.

What up with you?

- [Farrah] Nothing much.

Just picking up some ramen.

- [Gerald] Oh word? Aight!

Look at lil cuz out in Cali doing big things!

- [Farrah] It's just ramen.

- [Gerald] Nah! Nah! Nah!

I hear you, though.

Yo, I'm saying, what's really good with you?

- [Farrah] Grabbing some ramen, cuz. (Brief laughter) Yeah.

- [Gerald] Yeah!

- [Farrah] So, how's Aunt Joyce and Uncle Gerald?

- [Gerald] Oh, my pops? He chilling.

Yo, my moms, she be complaining about her hip and sh*t,

but otherwise than that, she good!

- [Farrah] Well, it was good to hear from you...

- [Gerald] Hey, so yo, I been meaning to get

at you, right, with this opportunity for you

and all your little Hollywood friends.

- [Farrah] It's a pandemic, Gerald.

I ain't seen nobody in two years.

- [Gerald] Damn, that's crazy.

Yo, I'm out in the A. It's wide open out here.

- [Farrah] Wait, when you move to Atlanta?

You know what?

Nevermind.

Emm-mm. Listen. Of course, I

know a bunch of people in Hollywood

or whatever, but I would not call them friends.

- [Gerald] So, me and my business partner, right?

We got a new credit repair joint.

So, if any of y'all interested ...and matter fact,

your homegirl, what was your...

from the BX? The one that be

in the kitty litter commercials?

- [Farrah] Oh, you mean Dionne?

- [Gerald] Yeah, her. Tell her hit me up, yo.

I'll get shorty credit straight for real.

- [Farrah] I told you before, we ain't talked in years.

- [Barber] Yo, that's crazy.

Women, B. Yo, what about Lenny though?

- [Farrah] Who?

- [Gerald] Kravitz.

- [Farrah] I don't know him!

Who told you that?

- [Gerald] Aunt Diane.

She told my moms at my pops drive

through birthday party joint.

- [Farrah] Oh my goodness.

Why was my mother telling Aunt Joyce

about some random dinner

party I was at like three years ago?

- [Gerald] So, you do know him?

- [Farrah] Yeah.

No.

- [Gerald] Aye, yo, tell him my bros

could hook him up with like two,

three of them PPP joints.

sh**t me his EIN number, we

could probably put him down and

put you down, too.

You remember Skee-bow and Alley-Poo, right?

- [Farrah] Nope.

- [Gerald] Yes, you do.

Skee-bow! They sister had the fake eye.

- [Farrah] What? Gerald. Stop!

- [Gerald] You don't remember the joint? She had the joint.

It was missing.

(Laughter)

Yo, cuz, I'm too smart to be broke out here.

You know I be on my crypto sh*t.

I be on my sea moss grind.

So, even if it's just me and you, we go half on it.

- [Farrah] I thought it was acai or black seed oil?

- [Gerald] Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all of that.

Plus, you know I got the shea butter sh*t.

The shea butter sh*t going out here.

I mailed something to your pops.

You know he got the ashy a*s feet he put it on. You use it?

- [Farrah] Ooooh, but did you mail your mother some

to put on her edges, or in her potato salad

with the raisins and the pistachios? Mm-hmm.

- [Gerald] Aye, you gonna leave my moms alone, bro.

- [Farrah] Anyway.

Yeah, I use your bullshit

shea butter from time to time.

- [Gerald] That's what's about to

make us the multimillionaires.

I'm telling you right now.

- [Farrah] Mm-mm.

This sound like multi-level marketing.

- [Gerald] See. See, that's the problem right there.

See, White people, they be

putting they bread together.

They build sh*t.

But, we always doubting each other nowadays.

How you think the Egyptians built the pyramids?

- [Farrah] Definitely not with a pyramid scheme.

Look, cuz, I'm about to pick up this food, head home,

eat and just take it easy.

- [Gerald] Yo, yo, hold up!

Shonnie told me about Aunt Diane's homegirl.

- [Farrah] Did she?

- [Gerald] Yeah.

- [Farrah] I'm surprised the hag remembered.

- [Gerald] No doubt.

You know our cousin be on some bullshit.

- [Farrah] Mm-hmm.

- [Gerald] But, she be keeping me up to speed

with fam and everything, man.

She love you. You know that, Farrah.

She love you.

That's real.

Just send your mom condolences for me, aight?

And, yo, tell Lenny... send him my number.

- [Farrah] Bye, cuz.

Love you.

- [Gerald] Aight, Queen.

- Peace.

- [Aggy Protestor] Dark skin lives.

- [Aggy Protestor 2]: Matter!

- [Aggy Protestor] Dark skin lives!

- [Aggy Protestor 2]: Matter!

- [Aggy Protestor] Dark skin lives!

- [Aggy Protestor 2]: Matter.

- [Aggy] Dark skin lives!

- [Aggy Protestor 2]: Matter.

- [Aggy] Dark skin...

- [Farrah] Hey, it's Omicron out here!

- [Aggy Protestor] Did you want to join us

later for a Dark Skin Lives Matter protest?

- [Farrah] That's so 2020.

Ain't y'all a little late?

- [Aggy Protestor] Ain't ya shield a little late?

- [Farrah] Oh, what y'all gonna be

protesting down a Paris catwalk later?

- [Aggy Protestor 2] So you don't

think dark skinned lives matter, too?

- [Farrah] Girl, don't be caught up with his mess.

He be out here protesting

something different every week!

And with a different girl, but that ain't

none of my business. (Sirens wailing)

- [Farrah] Might even be with a different guy.

Dark skin lives matter.

So divisive. God.

- [Farrah] Man!

(Phone pinging)

(Outgoing text)

(Phone pinging)

(Outgoing text)

- [Farrah] Oh, come on!

(Phone beeping)

(Phone beeping)

(Phone buzzing)

- [Farrah] Hey, daddy.

- [Hank Henry] Your mama is driving me crazy.

- [Farrah] I know. Be kind. She's hurting right now.

- [Hank Henry] You know what this woman does?

She orders clothes off the computer

- [Hank] when ain't nobody going nowhere.

So, why is she still charging

sh*t, right, to the credit card?

Got the credit card all up over the internet.

I'm sure I done been hacked!

- [Farrah] Because she's grieving, dad.

- [Hank] I'm the one grieving with these bills.

What you talking about?

- [Farrah] Dad, we all are.

Hold up. Your artwork looks great, daddy.

- [Hank] You like that?

- [Farrah] Yes.

Thank you for sending me some already.

- You gotta send me some more.

- [Hank] Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

- [Farrah] Can't believe you got

so good so fast during COVID.

- [Hank] Yeah. Like I said, your

mama is driving me crazy, girl.

So, I come out here as much as I can, you know?

- [Farrah] What, you a pandemic Picasso?

(Laughter)

- [Hank] Trying to channel that... what's it called?

The inner selfie.

- [Farrah] Your inner self, dad.

Hard F.

- [Hank] You mean I've been telling my card friends

that my daughter's helping

me with the wrong damn thing?

- [Farrah] Dad, you better not be out playing cards.

It's still not safe, especially for somebody

in your position, Mr. Diabetes.

- [Hank] Wait a minute. Who else you

been reaching out to and talking to?

Because I know you. You like to run that mouth. Yeah.

- [Farrah] Don't try to change the subject.

(Laughter)

- [Farrah] Well, I talked to Aunt Debbie, Aunt Sylvia.

Oh, and Gerald.

- [Hank] Don't you give that n*gro a dime!

- [Farrah] Dad.

- [Hank] No, you work too hard to get to where you at

to be dealing with Gerald Junior's a*s.

- Come on.

- [Farrah] That's your nephew.

- [Hank] No, see, now that's your people.

Come on now.

- [Diane Henry] Hanky?!

You on the phone?

- [Hank] There go your mama.

See, she done found me.

Yeah, woman!

I'm talking to Farrah.

- [Diane Henry] Hand me the phone real quick.

- [Diane] Let me holla at her.

- [Hank] No, no, no.

What you can do is you can call her back

from your phone a little later.

We talking right now.

- [Diane] Just for a minute, Hank, damn!

You know what?

Never mind.

- [Hank] Just for a minute? You hear this?

You know what that is?

That's that bullshit, Illaldo!

- [Farrah] Leave my mother alone.

- [Hank] She all ear hustling.

Imma take you further away from the ear hustler

so we can do what we do, okay?

That's that daddy daughter time.

- [Farrah] No, no, no. This is her now. She's a trip.

- [Diane] I know you ain't somewhere sitting outside

with your eyes closed again.

- [Farrah] Ma, don't worry

about where I'm sitting trying to get my mind right.

- [Diane] Girl, check out my shoes.

They were buy three, get two free.

And, I really think they did it

that way because it rhymes.

- [Farrah] Oooh, oooh, Ma, look.

You see the birds?

Yeah. That's you and Lowey.

That's crazy, right?

- [Diane] Chile, if that don't remind me of me

and Lowey stomping around in Jersey City.

Now, talk about friends forever.

I'm overjoyed Danielle gave me

this necklace with Lowey's ashes

in it because this way I know I

could always keep my baby girl like

you know with me and in my heart.

And, it's so funny when I continue to look at shoes, man,

when you talk about who could tear

a dance floor up, that would be us.

But, as long as I'm here,

Imma keep that dance going on, okay?

That's just how we roll.

Boy, do I miss my dog.

- [Farrah] I know.

- [Diane] Okay, Lil' Magic.

Enjoy your little meditation,

and give me a call later.

Love you.

- [Farrah] Bye-bye.

- [Dionne] Hi, this is Dionne.

Leave a message, or not.

Thank you.

- [Farrah] Girl, it's been forever.

All that old nonsense does not matter anymore.

I'm just calling to see about you.

Hope you and your family are well, healthy.

And, I would love to maybe get together,

and reconnect some time.

It's been forever.

It's Farrah, and I hope to hear from you soon. Bye.

(indistinct)

(Violent Trap Music plays)

- [Farrah] C'mon, Dionne.

(Sad R&B plays)

(Upbeat Emo-Punk plays)

(Hip-Hop plays)

- [Commercial] It was me, my fat a*s

wife, and 3, no, no, 4 kids in the backseat

when all a sudden Wham! A

SUV full of broads hit us and took off!

I could barely put my fingers on the

numbers, but I called Attorney Fat Kat

at 1-800-Mercy Mercy Me and got us paid!

(Club Music plays)

- [Aggy Protestor] Save the coral reef!

- [Farrah] Oh my gosh, boy, get out of here!

Talking about save the coral reef.

It's people out here dying!

- [Aggy Protestor] Save the coral reef.

Save the coral reef.

Save the coral reef.

Save the coral reef.

- Ohh boy.

They protect coastlines from storms and erosions,

provide jobs for local communities,

and opportunities for recreation.

Save the coral reef.

Save the coral reef!

- [Farrah] Boy, if you don't get out my face.

- [Aggy Protestor] Save the coral reef!

- [Farrah] You worried about the coral reef dying

and people out here dying?

Where your little girlfriend at?

- [Aggy Protestor] Where your shield at?

- [Farrah] You a little aggressive.

I know you need to back on up.

- [Aggy Protestor] Save the coral reef!

Save the coral reef!

(Phone beeping)

(Phone beeping)

(Outgoing Text)

- [Aggy Protestor] Save the coral reef.

- [Dionne] Hi, this is Dionne.

Leave a message, or not.

- [Aggy Protestor] Save the coral reef.

- [Diane] I'm overjoyed Danielle gave me this necklace

with Lowey's ashes in it because

this way I know I could always

keep my baby girl with me and in my heart.

Talk about friends forever.

(Dramatic Hip-Hop plays)

(Dramatic Hip-Hop plays)

(Dramatic Hip-Hop plays)

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

- [Megaphone] George.

- [Crowd] Floyd!

(Loud screaming)

(Breathing heavily)

(Birds chirping)

(Phone beeping)

(Phone beeping)

(Phone beeping)

- [Farrah] sh*t. sh*t! sh*t! sh*t!

Oh!

Okay. Okay. Okay.

(Hip-Hop Music)

- [Farrah] Oh my God, please excuse me!

It actually doesn't even matter

what I was doing. I was just trying to...

I just hope you weren't waiting too

long is what I'm really trying to say.

Umm.

Wait, this wasn't scheduled until tomorrow.

- [Xiao Bu Xin] Was it?

No way.

- [Farrah] Yeah.

It was.

Never mind.

- [Xiao] My bad.

- [Farrah] How're you?

- [Xiao] Well, ya know. The world is still sh*t.

- [Farrah] Got it.

- [Xiao] People are trash, Farrah, and they lie.

But, you know who doesn't lie?

- [Farrah] Children?

(Gentle music)

- [Xiao] No.

Those f*ck lie all the time.

Algorithms, Farrah.

Algorithms never lie!

- [Farrah] Got it.

I mean, we've discussed this before,

and we just have very different

views, which I'm fine with. I just...

- [Xiao] But, actually, you aren't fine with it

because ever since your first show,

which I'd like to remind you was

a hit, you keep sending me ideas

that go against every single

piece of data I offer you.

- [Farrah] Because there's more to life and art

than algorithms, Xiao.

- [Xiao] Let me give it to you straight. Again.

No one wanted an irreverent show

about a girl's high school basketball team.

And, no one wants to try and sell a script

about some Korean guy

committing random acts of racism

in the middle of a Stop Asian Hate movement.

It'd come across as tone deaf and insensitive.

- [Farrah] But, it's real.

- [Xiao] The world doesn't care what's real.

Have you seen women's asses and eyelashes lately?

(Hip-Hop music)

- [Farrah] Xiao, this is serious.

- [Xiao] I'm being serious.

And, they have these tiny little legs

that clearly don't match the

butt they hang down from.

It's ugly, it's cheap, it's stupid.

But, it all goes back to my point

that no one gives a sh*t about what's real!

People would rather look at

a contorted a*s than a movie

about bad Asian people... right now.

And, that's just the f*cking truth. For today.

Next year, they'll probably

be on to a different group

like handicap people or something.

Then maybe we can talk about this, but not now.

God, Farrah, if too soon was a person.

(Phone beeping)

(Hip-Hop music)

(Outgoing Text)

(Outgoing Text)

(Outgoing Text)

- [Xiao] Hello?

(Outgoing Text)

- [Xiao] Hello? Farrah?

Earth to Farrah.

Earth to Farrah!

Where'd you go?

- [Farrah] I hear you, Xiao. Loud and clear.

- [Xiao] Well, you could acknowledge it.

(Hip-Hop Theme Music)

- [Podcast Host] Donovan, Donovan.

Yo, on this episode of "Today Is Not Yesterday",

we just gonna get into this,

man. Like, look, honestly, man,

what is going on with women and these eyelashes?

- [Dionne] Here we go.

- [Podcast Host]We don't rock with that. Seriously...

- [Dionne] Oh, y'all don't rock with that?

- [Podcast Host]... we don't rock with that.

Like, imagine you, big woman. You're

sleepin'. Ya man just rocked you to sleep...

All right.

- [Podcast Host]... and you wake

up the next morning feeling good

and you look on the nightstand

and his mustache is on the nightstand.

- [Dionne] He gotta go.

- [Podcast Host] Yo, his mustache is on the nightstand.

- [Dionne] A mustache is not

even the same thing as lashes.

What are you talking about?

- [Podcast Host] Your eyelashes on the nightstand.

- [Dionne] Because a mustache is different.

- [Podcast Host] And another tip for women,

your relationship will last longer, stronger,

you feel what I mean, if you just shut,

what they call, the f*ck up. That's it.

- [Dionne] How about you shut the f*ck up?

How about you shut the f*ck up?!

- [Podcast Host] We just want some nice silence.

- [Building Manager] Hello, Farrah. This is

Andy Kazarian from Building Management.

Their asses got evicted today.

Black lives do f*cking matter at our property.

Thank you.

And, stay safe.

Fist emoji.

(Upbeat House Music)

(Upbeat House Music)

- [Dionne] There it is.

Damn, got me in this freaking alley.

- Everything okay? Oh God, stop it! (shouting)

Don't yell!

Do. Not. Yell.

- [Dionne] What do you want, man?

- Dear Lord.

- [Dionne] Oh my gosh.

That's what I'm talking about.

I tell people this all the time.

- You want money?

Okay. You want money?

- You're yelling like that,

there's not a lot of communication going on.

- [Dionne] I don't have any cash!

I don't have any either. We're both

just sort of SOL,

you know what I mean?

- [Dionne] I got a sandwich.

I have a sandwich!

- Why are you doing that...

- [Dionne] Just go get the sandwich. That's for you.

- [Questionable Man] Ma'am, you

can't just throw trash on the ground.

- [Dionne] That for you, man.

- [Questionable Man] We're not gonna make it as a society...

- [Dionne] I'm calling the police.

- [Questionable Man] Well, it's 911, is the number.

- [Dionne] I know the number, man. I know.

- [Questionable Man] It's Ninth and San Pedro is the...

- [Dionne] Hello?

- [Questionable Man] Okay.

- [Dionne] Hi.

Yes. I'm in an alleyway in my car,

and there's this homeless man, he's accosting me.

He won't let me pass.

(indistinct)

He says it's 9th and San Pedro.

- [Questionable Man] Is that Mary?

Tell her it's Ninth and San Pedro.

- [Dionne] If you just send a cruiser by, that'd be great.

Thank you.

- [Questionable Man] Women need novelty.

They love sex just as much as men.

- [Dionne] What are you talking

about? You don't know what a woman...

- [Questionable Man] I have been with several women.

Really, it's up to us boys to,

ya know, put on a Garfield mask.

Wear a wig.

Wear a name tag of someone other than yourself.

- [Dionne] Oh my gosh.

- [Questionable Man] Just make it new.

Here's the thing, stop getting your marriage advice

from Steve Harvey.

f*ck Steve Harvey!

- He's a three time looser. Give me a good...

- [Dionne] No, we're not f*cking Steve Harvey.

Kevin Samuels.

- [Dionne] What?

Are you trying to say I'm low value?

I'm high value, sir. I am high value!

- [Questionable Man] Not here to make value judgments.

He's got some problems, but

there's some truth in there somewhere.

- [Dionne] Oh my gosh! Would you

just please move out of the way?!

- [Questionable Man] Well, yeah.

Why didn't you say that?

God.

My lady.

(Engine revving)

- [Questionable Man] That's, yeah. There you go.

Yeah.

You want to keep... no, you can keep going.

Okay.

- [Dionne] Get away from my car.

- [Questionable Man] Slow down.

- I'll get in.

- [Dionne] Get away from my car.

(Screams)

- [Questionable Man] That's what you sound like.

You forgot your sandwich.

- [Dionne] Don't you...

- Could you just back up?

- [Questionable Man] What is that? A 16-point turn?

- [Dionne] Don't worry about what it is.

- [Questionable Man] Keep going.

I believe in you.

I believe in you, and I forgive you!

I forgive you for your judgmentalness.

- [Dionne] Oh, shut up!

(Sighs)

- [Questionable Man] I worry about her.

I know. Me, too.

All right. Back to my tennis match.

(Upbeat Classical Music) (Indistinct mumbling)

- [Farrah] All right.

sh*t.

Okay. Good.

(Upbeat Classical Music)

(Indistinct mumbling)

- Grey, be gone.

(Upbeat Classical Music)

- [Farrah] I am worthy. I am valuable.

I got on some b*mb a*s eyeshadow,

and I have good friendships.

(Doorbell ringing)

- [Farrah] Hello?

- [Dionne] Hi. (Coughs)

Sorry.

No, I don't have COVID.

(Laughter)

- [Farrah] How are you?

- [Dionne] Let me take my shoes off.

I do not want to talk about it.

- [Farrah] Okay.

- [Dionne] Okay.

Maybe I want to talk about it a little bit.

Farrah?

- [Farrah] Yes.

- [Dionne] What the f*ck is going on downtown?

- [Farrah] Girl, listen,

it's either $20,000 penthouses or Grand Theft Auto.

It's so good to see you!

- [Dionne] It's good to see you.

- [Farrah] I have a...

- [Dionne] Aww. This is really sweet.

Oh my goodness, affirmation cards?

- [Farrah] Yes.

- [Dionne] I've been wanting these.

- [Farrah] Aren't they lovely?

- [Dionne] Yeah. Thank you.

- [Farrah] You are welcome.

So, this is also all for you, by the way.

- [Dionne] All right. Sounds good.

- [Farrah] Yes. So, I have farmer's

market grapefruits, croissants.

We have a wonderful tea selection.

Chicken free chicken.

Actual chicken.

A little mandarin salad.

- Okay.

Some gluten-free cassava chips.

- Alright.

And, so then I ordered in for dinner.

So, this is just to hold us down.

- [Dionne] Oh, okay.

- [Farrah] Really, we're going to do, like, a little lin-ner.

- [Dionne] That's cute.

Lunch and dinner, I get it.

- [Farrah] Because it's a little

too early to be actual dinner.

(Laughter)

But, anyway, what is new?

- [Dionne] Girl, it's been five years.

Everything is new.

- [Farrah] This is true.

- [Dionne] Yeah.

- [Farrah] I mean, so tell me; work, parents.

- [Dionne] I just see the weight

of New York on my parents.

So, I wanted them to come out here and get some new air.

- Yeah.

Get some LA air and see

that things don't have to be so hard, right?

- [Farrah] Yeah.

- [Dionne] So, I flew them out here, and we had a vacation,

got a little rental, house rental,

and they had a wonderful time.

- [Farrah] So, I think there was a guy, I'm not sure?

- [Dionne] Rahmell.

- Yeah, we celebrated three years.

- [Farrah] Shut. Up.

- [Dionne] Yes, we did.

- [Farrah] Y'all did the whole thing?

- [Dionne] First of all, I don't know

if you heard the new common law.

- [Farrah] Okay.

- [Dionne] Is couples who survived quarantine.

- [Farrah] I'm screaming.

- [Dionne] Yeah.

- It's not seven years no more (Brief laughter).

It's not because we've been together all this time.

It's because we survived COVID.

So, now we forever bonded in marriage.

- [Farrah] Let me tell you something, girl.

I know a lot of marriages that

did not make it to the other side.

I mean they was on stilts to begin with,

but COVID just made the whole sh*t just crumble.

(Laughter)

- [Dionne] No, it's funny. Ya know, I

was reading in a magazine, in China,

they can get a divorce on the day.

And, so once that quarantine

lifted, people were going

to get divorces, and the line was around the corner.

- [Farrah] It look like an amusement park.

(Laughter)

I think everybody that

teased me for still being single

through COVID was like, "Girl,

I'm rethinking this whole sh*t."

And, I was like, "Bam."

- [Dionne] Yeah. Because if you

weren't in a solid relationship...

- [Farrah] And, that's what I'm saying,

because, to me, that's what it's about.

It's not single or together. It's like, are you happy...

- [Dionne] It's a real relationship.

- [Farrah]... with either one? And, people

realizing they don't like their kids.

They don't even know their kids.

That's all stuff I knew.

- [Dionne] That's really valid.

Because there was so many people that had

to be home with their kids...

- [Farrah] Don't even know what their kids eat.

- [Dionne]... don't know what their kids eat,

don't know that their kids be a menace in school.

But, now they're in the house,

and now you realize why

the teacher was always calling.

- [Farrah] I'm about to say, they

don't even know they kids is dumb.

- [Dionne] Oh gosh.

- [Farrah] A lot of people got dumb kids and don't know.

They be bragging like they bright as sh*t.

- Yeah.

They be dumb.

- [Dionne] Yeah, but, how are your parents doing?

- [Farrah] I haven't seen either one of them.

- [Dionne] You haven't seen your parents in all the time?

- [Farrah] I have not. I haven't yet.

- [Dionne] Wow. So how's that working?

- [Farrah] It's not.

- Yeah.

But, they're alright.

I mean, relatively speaking. My dad, as long

as the casino is open, he's good.

- [Dionne] Oh yeah. Okay.

- [Farrah] But, my mom actually just lost her long

standing, lifetime best friend.

And, that has been really hard for

the both of us because we Black.

That's like my aunt.

She more my aunt...

- [Dionne] Yeah, that's auntie.

Because that's her chosen friend.

- [Farrah] It's taken us all out.

- [Dionne] I'm so sorry to hear that.

- [Farrah] No, for real.

I appreciate it, but, umm.

So, yeah, uhh, eat up, eat up.

- [Dionne] All right.

Let's see here. I think I'm going to

have some, you said chicken chicken

and chicken not chicken?

- [Farrah] Chicken free chicken.

- [Dionne] I'm gonna go with the real chicken.

(Relaxing R&B Music)

- [Dionne] I just got rid of everything white.

Like flour, white potato, rice, sugar.

- [Farrah] Including people?

- [Dionne] Well, it was Black Lives Matter, so.

But, really, I'm talking about food.

(Laughter)

- [Farrah] And, the protests got crazy.

Had to evacuate twice.

All this sh*t was burnt down.

- [Dionne] No, I didn't know that.

- [Farrah] It was crazy.

Looting, I mean this was like some...

everything you saw on the news,

that was happening right here downtown.

They burnt everything down.

Even some Black-owned businesses that

they didn't know, or think was Black owned.

- [Dionne] Everybody is so afraid.

Yeah.

Because everything that we touch and watch

and see, everything is fear-based.

I had to really just rediscover

my faithfulness when I saw

that Ahmaud Arbery got shot down.

And, I didn't know what I was watching,

I thought he was running.

So, when I saw that, it just made me really lose faith.

But, God as my shepherd,

I shall not want.

Okay.

- [Farrah] Understood.

- [Dionne] But, at the very least,

I just wanna punch mothafuckas

in the face! (Laughter)

- [Farrah] I was like, she got

this safe Black woman sh*t down.

She got her little cardigan on, little ballet flats.

- I can't stand you.

- [Dionne] Every commercial I've watched

since I was a kid has the safe Black woman.

I can't even be mad at casting directors

because they're just like actors.

I mean, in the sense of the disrespect.

And, there was this one woman,

whose name escapes me right now,

but she was integral in giving

us all the major celebrities

that we know now.

- Pacino, Hackman, Cicely Tyson.

- [Farrah] Oh yeah?

- [Dionne] Yeah. Out of New York.

- Okay.

And, they would not put her name.

- [Farrah] Things just feel so political and so,

like, sex based, race based.

Like, I just feel like it's all so heightened.

I mean even like right now

between me and my literary rep,

like just politically, she

just feels very strongly

against what I've written about.

Literally to the point where she feels like

she doesn't want to work together anymore.

She doesn't have the courage really to tell me that.

You know what I mean? So she keeps trying

to adjust my project in the direction of...

- [Dionne] Oh no.

- [Farrah]... you know what I mean?

- Like what she would want to

represent or what works for her.

But, I'm very clear, you get

what I'm saying, that it's more

so about, I just don't see things

- like how you see things politically, so.

- [Dionne] Exactly. And that that's an old guard.

- [Farrah] Yeah. No, you're right.

- [Dionne] Sounds like she needs to be fired

because those people are dinosaurs.

(indistinct)

- [Farrah] Exactly, on the first female to play

in the NBA and all of that.

Like, when I tell you I've

been pitching stories like that,

stories like "Courtside Manner". You pitch it,

it's not like they necessarily

want that story from a woman,

maybe not even from a Black woman.

I don't know.

- Right.

You get what I'm saying? And, I get it,

because I love Shaq, and I love what they did.

It's a beautiful story.

But, I just look at it like, did it have to take a man?

Did it have to take somebody already established

for this story to be valid?

(Chill R&B Music)

- [Dionne] It is the last straw. The last straw be like...

(Laughter)

Would you just pass the cheese? What the f*ck?!

(Laughter)

- [Dionne] And, everybody at the

party is like, "Yooooo, did she just?

She's crazy."

- [Farrah] But, my "Can you just pass me the cheese?" moment,

was when she invited us all to a birthday party

in the middle of COVID, number one,

and I mean at the height.

But, this was the catch:

You couldn't use her bathroom.

You had to pee outside.

- [Dionne] What you mean outside?

Oh, she had a porta-potty.

- [Farrah] No, no, no.

She did not have a porta-potty.

She literally wrote out...

- [Dionne] You mean outside on her ground?

- [Farrah] She said, feel free to pee on the side

of my house or, and, I'm not making this up...

she said, or, if one of you are up to it,

you can go to the neighborhood gas station.

- [Dionne] Like, I had to just

be done with the friendship.

- [Farrah] I know that's so hard.

- [Dionne] It was very hard because I was committed

to the fact that when you have so many years in,

that we just gonna keep trying to

make it work, and trying to make it work.

But, the truth is, we overstayed our welcome.

- [Farrah] How's everything?

How's your parents?

Are they still alive?

I heard you was in the hospital.

You all good? I heard you got hit by a car.

Are you all good?

I heard you and such and such broke up.

Are you all good?

I got none of those calls.

- [Dionne] And, you have no, your name is not credited?

Thank you? Dah, dah, dah?

- [Farrah] We developed that whole thing together.

And, you know my mother is like, "Sue dat b*tch!"

And, I'm like, "I don't have the energy."

I'm like, I'm not... look, I got

vision boards and sh*t. I can't.

I think when it came to you, I threw the baby

out with the bath water, and

you were not one of those friends.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, it was just slight sort of,

you know what happened with us?

And, I feel like I was just at

a time where I was just doing

such a clean sweep of all the stupid sh*t

that I was just like, everybody gotta go.

And, for you, that wasn't right.

- [Dionne] I really don't even remember.

It was just on some misunderstanding.

Like I said, no hard offense.

But, yeah I could've called, too.

But, I was in my sh*t.

- [Farrah] I understand.

- [Dionne] Yeah. You know.

Gosh.

- [Farrah] And, it's our basement level whatever.

Door opens. Couple standing there. Tall,

I would say Korean guy, his chick,

I don't know, maybe Mexican, El

Salvadorian, something like that.

He don't have a mask on.

Now, she does, and I'm Mask City at this point.

- [Dionne] In these little elevators?

- [Farrah] That's what I'm trying to tell you.

He steps on, and I'm like, "Oh! Hey, if you don't mind,

if you have a mask, can you throw it on?"

"The f*ck up, b*tch."

Like, on some hood sh*t.

And, I'm like, "Hey, it's tight in here."

She literally turned around, and she stepped to me

and she was like, "What the

f*ck you want him to do, b*tch?

He told you he don't got no f*cking mask."

She wasn't like our Dominicans,

Puerto Ricans back home

where they kind of could go for Black maybe,

like she almost looked like what

we would say like a White woman.

So, we get up to the second floor.

She goes down the hall, the guy, he steps back

into the elevator ...not into it,

but across the front, and he goes,

"n*gga a*s b*tch."

- [Dionne] He leaned in,

- [Farrah] and he hawk spit on me.

(Crying)

And, I know if I was with somebody else,

they would not have done that sh*t.

(Crying)

And, that's the part that's so hard for me.

(Crying)

Because I just felt like I didn't even matter.

(Crying)

I felt invisible, and I felt like even if I was a guy,

a Black guy, at least they would've felt scared.

And, maybe they wouldn't

have said that sh*t or did that sh*t,

but because it was just me, and I was by myself...

and then I was mad that I was afraid to get evicted,

that I was afraid to look like the crazy Black woman

on the f*cking elevator who

hit some White woman first.

And, she wasn't even f*cking White!

(Crying)

And, I was just mad that I

had to think about all of that sh*t.

And, all I was trying to do was

do f*cking 10,000 steps outside.

(Crying)

It just got so stupid so fast.

It's so many things

that just keep going on.

(Crying)

And even my agent...

(Crying)

...this is why she don't want to work with me no more

because I wanna tell this story...

(Crying)

...but she's Chinese, and the guy is Korean,

and there's all this Stop Asian Hate sh*t going on.

And, she don't wanna rep

a project that tells this story.

- [Dionne] I wish you'd just fire that woman.

Write this story, and fire that agent.

This's ridiculous.

- [Farrah] And, I started writing it.

I started writing it, and I

just, I don't know how it ends.

Because come to find out they're f*cking residents.

- [Dionne] They f*cking live here?

- [Farrah] And, I got the notification today,

right before you got here,

that they got served today.

So, thankfully they will be getting evicted

because the building is

treating it like a hate crime.

- [Dionne] So, this couple lives in the building,

and they know your unit?

- [Farrah] I don't know.

I mean, I do think about that,

but that's why I've been going

to precincts trying to get restraining orders.

I didn't even get to tell you about all of that sh*t.

It's just so much.

- [Dionne] This is why I stopped f*cking with you.

I f*cking forgot.

Now it's coming back to me.

This is the f*ck why I stopped f*ck' with you.

- [Farrah] You stopped f*cking with me?

I stopped f*cking with you.

- [Dionne] Word?

- [Farrah] Wait. Wait. Wait.

I stopped f*ck' with you because you were jealous

when things started taking off for me at a time

when they were slowing down for you.

- [Dionne] Jealous?

I'm jealous?

Jealous of who?

Jealous of you?

For what?

- [Farrah] Uh, yeah.

- [Dionne] Of ya lonely a*s life?

Look how the f*ck you live.

- [Farrah] Wow.

So...

- [Dionne] You do this.

No, girl, please.

I stopped f*ck' with you

because you always getting people involved

in your made up nonsense.

Just like old boy that left, just like now.

- [Elevator] Going down.

- [Delivery Guy] Yeah. What you talking about?

Ooooh, I knew I had to tell you something.

The chick you hooked me up with?

Your cousin friend, yeah, she was aight.

- [Dionne] I can't believe you got me here.

You got me in your house,

and these people just got evicted today.

You know what happens to people that get evicted?

Yo! They can f*cking blow this whole... they could

sh**t this building up, Farrah!

- [Farrah] First of all, you're

exaggerating. And, what I don't understand...

- [Dionne] It's not exaggerating!

- [Farrah]... is how I'm standing here telling you

about a f*cking hate crime that

just happened to me like it's 1888,

and you have still found a way to make it about you.

- [Dionne] It's not me... it's not about making it about me.

- [Farrah] Which is further why I stopped f*ck

with you, because you can't figure out how

- to not make other people's sh*t all about you!

- [Dionne] No.

- [Farrah] That's why you always

think people are f*cking out to get you.

Like the world is a big f*cking...

- [Dionne] This is not what it is!

- ...boogeyman!

- You got me...

- [Delivery Guy] She was cool, but her...

Boy, I ain't gonna lie.

One of her eyelashes fell

into her drink at the table, kid, for real.

- [Farrah]... That happened to me.

- [Dionne] You're telling me a story

that you could have stopped!

- [Farrah] But, the guy had to spit on me?

- [Dionne] I'm not saying he had to

spit on you, but for your own safety...

- [Farrah] So, that part is okay?

- [Delivery Guy] Bruh? You know I did! Like, what?

That ain't stop

nothing.

(indistinct)

- [Dionne] Okay.

Just like ole boy that left.

- [Delivery Guy] They're in here.

Yo, they in here arguing, kid.

Hold on one second.

- [Dionne] You got me sitting in your house,

and these people could just roll up...

- First off, lower your voice. Lower your f*cking voice!

- [Dionne] I'll give you that because this is your place.

- [Farrah] Yes, lower your voice.

- [Dionne] But, as far as I know,

these people can roll up on me.

They can follow me home, and you don't even care!

You tell me this whole crazy story...

- [Farrah] Give me one second.

Just, I need one second so I can get you cash.

- [Dionne] You know what?

Yeah.

- [Farrah] Oh! You leaving?

- All right.

- [Dionne] Yeah.

I don't know why you make people take their shoes off.

More negative energy

already in here than out there.

- [Farrah] Thank you, Larry David.

Change of plans.

You hungry?

- [Delivery Guy] Hell yeah.

- [Farrah] Aht aht! Not in here.

I don't know you like that.

Just give me one second.

f*cking crazy bullshit.

I'm not even hungry anymore.

- [Delivery Guy] Yeah, to me, it sound

like you might take this

friendship thing too seriously.

- [Farrah] Possibly.

- [Delivery Guy] I mean...

...let me get this straight.

You guys were friends, then you were not friends,

you're friends again and not friends.

What was the catalyst and cause for all this?

If you don't mind... if you don't mind getting into it.

Did you... like, you took her boyfriend?

- [Farrah] Ain't nobody take nobody's boyfriend.

It don't always have to be about that.

- [Delivery Guy] You didn't, like, try to steal

out of her bank account or anything like that?

Nothing crazy like that?

I don't know.

I mean, the way she stormed out, it had

to be something crazy that happened.

Like, it couldn't have just been...

- [Farrah] It's just old and dumb and a friendship

that just got f*cked up, back

together, and re-f*cked up

over nothing... Again.

- [Delivery Guy] And, that's crazy because, I mean,

when it come to women, I feel like you guys

will fall out over the smallest

things with great people.

They're people that have a lot to offer.

No one is perfect.

- Yeah.

And, on the other side, you have to factor in

things like how available

you make yourself for others.

If you make yourself 100% available,

there's no mystery

to you, to that person.

So, they can have an affinity

for you, but if you're always

at their beck and call, they'll ultimately take you

for granted and neglect you.

Every way you look at it,

reciprocity has a very important

set of letters in the front.

The R-E.

R-E, then you add the S-P-E-C-T...

- [Farrah] Oh my God, I don't even know

where you're going with this.

- [Delivery Guy] Reciprocity and respect together...

- [Farrah] Oh God.

Okay. You got a lot of advice to be delivering food.

- [Delivery Guy] Well, sometimes...

- [Farrah] What is your deal?

- [Delivery Guy] Sometimes, it's like that.

I mean, you were doing all of this stuff for somebody

who really didn't, to me, sound like they really cared

about too much of what you had going on.

And, looking at the bill, this is not a split order.

I just see your name on it,

and she didn't even eat the food with you.

- [Farrah] Clearly.

- [Delivery Guy] So, I mean you got... did you work together?

- [Farrah] No, we were just friends,

and, sometimes with women,

it's things that are a lot more slight

that make us fall out than men.

You guys, it has to be something dramatic.

"He shot my friend. He kicked

my mother down a flight of steps."

It has to be so finite.

Women, it's the most subtle subtle thing.

Or, not showing up a certain kind of way.

Like, she didn't come to my baby shower.

She didn't throw my, whatever the f*ck

we're about to get married, party.

I don't even know what it's called.

I'm just, I'm tired, and I'm angry.

But, I...

I just feel like when it comes to friendships,

relationships, men need to do a lot more,

and women could stand to do a lot less.

You know what I mean?

- [Delivery Guy] I hear you.

But, right now, and I mean right now,

that's really not helping

your situation out too much.

Because it, look you...

- [Farrah] It is not, I'm just saying

that men literally do not know when each other are

about to be divorced, when

they got diagnosed with anything,

when they have children.

I know guys who have kids,

and their guy friends don't know they have kids.

Like, that could never f*cking happen with women.

- [Delivery Guy] It's crazy.

But, I do gotta get back to work, though.

So, I don't wanna be rude,

and you look like you need a friend.

(Laughter)

- But...

- [Farrah] You've been more than a friend.

Thank you. It's fine.

And, trust me, you will not be doing this for long.

- [Delivery Guy] Yeah, I hope so.

And, you can keep the bag.

- [Farrah] Oh, thank you!

Very kind of you (Brief laughter).

- [Delivery Guy] Yeah. Enjoy your night.

You stay safe.

- [Farrah] I shall.

- [Delivery Guy] Thank you.

- [Farrah] Take care.

f*cking advice from a delivery driver.

(Hip-Hop Theme Music)

- [Dionne] They could follow me

home, and you don't even care!

Jealous? I'm jealous?

Of what? Your lonely a*s life?

(Somber Classical Music plays)

- [Farrah] This f*cking bullshit.

Wrote out all this goofy sh*t.

She don't even give a f*ck.

(Gentle music)

- [Farrah] Chicken free chicken.

(Mumbling)

(Gentle music)

- [Farrah] You be doing too much.

(Gentle music)

- [Farrah] You don't have to beg for friendship.

(Gentle music)

You are loved.

(Gentle music)

You are a great friend.

No, I am loved.

I am a great friend.

(Gentle music)

- [Farrah] I am valuable.

- [Farrah] I am amazing.

(Gentle music)

- [Farrah] I am wanted.

- [Farrah] I have friends.

I have family.

(Gentle music)

- [Farrah] I have people who care for me.

(Gentle music)

- [Farrah] I am abundant.

(Gentle music)

- [Farrah] I am wanted.

(Gentle music)

- [Farrah] I am wanted.

(Gentle music)

- [Farrah] I am not alone in this world.

(Gentle music, Crying)

I matter.

- [Farrah] I matter.

I matter.

(Gentle music)

(Birds chirping)

(Gerald Grunting)

- What's up?

- [Gerald] Not now, man.

I'm on the phone with my

cousin who be with Lenny Kravitz.

(Phone Ringing)

- [Farrah] Oh.

Not today, Gerald.

With the bullshit.

(Phone Ringing)

- [Farrah] Cuzzo, what's good?

- [Gerald] It's Shonnie.

- [Farrah] Hmm?

- [Gerald] It's Shonnie, Farrah.

She transitioned.

- [Farrah] To what?

If you telling me she got a sex

change right now, I can't do this

sh*t with y'all this morning.

I got all kinds of sh*t going on right now, Gerald.

- [Gerald] She transitioned to be with Allah.

And, it's Quran Bey now.

- [Farrah] Would you cut it out with

all this complicated a*s bullshit, Gerald,

first thing in the morning?

- [Gerald] It's Quran.

And, our dear cousin Shonnie

is no longer on this earthly plane.

- [Farrah] The f*ck is you talking about, Gerald?

She was just here the other week.

I'm not... what?

How?

What the f*ck?

How?

- [Gerald] I don't like to give words

like this so much power on this plane of beingness,

but I'll just say it's the C word.

- [Farrah] COVID?!

- [Gerald] No.

C-A-N-C-E-R.

- [Farrah] Gerald, please.

No... No. No. No. No.

- [Gerald] Yeah.

- [Farrah] Tell me this is not happening right now.

Gerald, she was just here.

She didn't say anything.

- [Gerald] She ain't want nobody to know.

It was the colon.

I tried offering her the sea

moss gel, the black seed oil,

to all y'all a long time ago.

But, nobody wanna listen to me, right?

- [Farrah] Wait. You knew about this?

Gerald, who's gonna take care of little Ashley?

Oh my God.

sh*t!

- [Gerald] I know.

- [Farrah] sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

- [Gerald] I know, I know.

I know.

- [Farrah] Gerald, what the f*ck?

Oh my God.

What the... sh*t.

Why do people keep dying, Gerald?

- [Gerald] You gotta pray, cousin.

- [Farrah] I gotta call my father.

The f*ck?!

- [Gerald] Put it at the foot of Allah.

- [Farrah] Shonnie, this is f*cked up!

- [Female Pastor] Crazy!

(Funeral Organs) It's crazy the

amount of people that we lost.

But, I'm still here.

I'm still here.

Come on, people, we're still here.

And, though it may be hard, and though we may miss them,

and though we may cry some

tears because they're not here

and we wish they were here, we want them to be here.

And though we may cry some tears because we going

through some stuff, even

now, that's a little difficult,

even now, that's hard.

Say, "I'm still here."

I'm still here to worship you, Lord.

I'm still here to praise you.

I'm still here to lift your name on high.

I'm still here to finish up strong.

I'm still here to hear your voice.

I'm still here to be obedient.

I'm still here to do what you called me to do,

to do what you told me to do,

to do what you created me to do,

to do what you chose me to do!

I'm still here, and I have purpose!

I have purpose from on high.

I'm here to walk in my purpose.

I'm here to walk on purpose and in my purpose.

I'm here to do what you created me to do, father God.

So, I need to hear your voice

so I can allow you to lead me,

so I can allow you to guide me, so I can obey you,

so you can order my footsteps

and let your word be a light unto

my feet and a lamp unto my path.

- [Farrah] Damn, cuz.

- [Female Pastor] I'm still here.

We love you, Shonnie.

In Jesus name, we pray that you rest in peace.

Amen. Amen. Amen.

(Phone buzzing)

("Calling Angels" by Dav Hall plays)

There be signs

Signs of times

Where the walls of the river

Begin to sway

There will be peace

In the city once loved

There'll be joy

In a moment of a blinking eye

Will you be there?

Will you be there?

With open arms and a smile

In your eyes

So call the Angels

I'm calling all the Angels

Call the Angels

Call the Angels

I'm calling all the Angels (Farrah crying)

Come on, Farrah.

You can get through this.

Call the Angels

I'm calling Angels

- [Farrah] Please stop people

from dying. (singer vocalizing)

Just let me catch my breath, God, please.

Call the Angels

(Praying)

Please, keep us here, God, and keep us safe.

(Crying)

Oh, God, please?

(Phone beeping)

(Phone ringing)

- [Xiao] Well, don't you look camera ready.

Alrighty then.

Welp, this time you are actually

late for our Vroom! Meeting.

- [Farrah] Can't whatever this is, wait?

- [Xiao] Aht, aht, aht! Before you get all excited,

I have a few pitches for you.

There's a group of people

who get trapped in the middle

of the ocean, then they build a world

unto themselves, and people die.

But, it's a bright comedy.

It'd be a mix of races or

(whispers) African American only.

Both are fine, just not all White

people because algs and protests.

- [Farrah] You mean a politically correct

Gilligan's Island?

- [Xiao] Instead of a teacup, she hypnotizes them

into the broken realm by stirring a straw

in a product placed sports bottle.

- [Farrah] Enh-unh.

- [Xiao] A sl*ve woman has sex with...

- [Farrah] No!

- [Xiao] That way, you can just call it "Octopus Game"

with no copyright infringement,

especially if it takes place in the Philippines

- [Farrah] No, and it's Tagalog.

- [Xiao] Really?

You're gonna tell me how to say Tag-a-lag?

- [Farrah] I... forget it.

- [Xiao] Yeah.

Instead of Paul Reiser, we hit up Helen Hunt!

- [Farrah] So, do you mean like a reboot?

- [Xiao] Of a reboot about...

- [Farrah] A reboot?

- [Xiao] A reboot.

Reboot of a reboot of a reboot!

- [Farrah] Do you mean like if "Coming to America"

and "Being John Malkovich" had a mulatto baby?

- [Xiao] I do.

I do.

- [Farrah] An Indians from India version

of "Dances with Wolves"?

Just humor me.

Starring who?

- [Xiao] Miles Teller. Joaquin Phoenix?

Say-drian won't support his

MMA career unless he lists his

pronouns on his boxing trunks as a statement

to the transgender community,

which he may or may not belong to.

- [Farrah] Xiao, it's a transgender rocky.

- [Xiao] Yes, Farrah.

How many times do I have to tell you?

You gotta get a transgender in there.

- [Farrah] I'm just not sure that...

- [Xiao] It's inclusive. It's inclusive.

Stars, we need stars!

Maybe you can get Leo.

Yeah?

I'm gonna be honest.

I don't know if Leo is a good choice.

Farrah! You have to like one of them!

You're making me crazy.

I don't have time for this anymore.

Gold. I am giving you gold.

I. Am. Giving. You. Gold!

- [Farrah] I understand that.

And, I appreciate you.

- [Xiao] (Crying) You don't.

- [Farrah] But, you're gonna get me canceled.

- [Xiao] (Whispers) You won't be

canceled because you're Black.

Wanna know something that I did in college?

I spent all pandemic learning how to do this.

- [Farrah] Xiao.

- [Xiao] Okay!

This went well.

Feel free to email me your thoughts

on which one you might wanna give a go first.

My personal fave is "Nidger-ton",

but I completely understand your thoughts that

it sounds a little too close to (whispers) the N-b*mb.

So, hopefully we can agree on a workaround.

Other than that, let's touch base in a week or so.

Yeah?

- [Farrah] "Or so" definitely works better for me.

- [Xiao] Em-kaaay. Sounds good. Talk to you laterz.

Byeeee!

- [Farrah] Oh my God.

- [Xiao] (Crying)

Xiao? Get it together, Xiao.

Get it together!

(Engine revving)

(Sirens wailing)

(Traffic sounds)

(Phone ringing)

- [Diane] Hey, boo!

Wait.

What's the matter?

Them mothafuckas f*ck'

with you again in the building?

- [Farrah] No, ma.

- [Diane] Let me know right away.

You know I'm on the first f*ck'

thing smoking coming to you.

You know we don't play that sh*t.

Lord, have mercy.

- [Farrah] You see this?

- [Diane] That sh*t look worse

than when I was out there last!

Seriously?

- [Farrah] It is, ma.

And, it's so ugly.

- [Diane] That's horrible.

Okay. Anyway, look, I gotta go.

Big concert going on with Cardi B, Remy Ma,

Fat Joe, J Lo, a bunch of 'em.

It's called "A Bronx Tale" or something like that.

But, either way, I'm out.

My ride is here.

Okay, I gotta, go.

But, child, you need to check out my outfit for AC.

Your mother? She doing it.

Check me out, boo, head to toe.

Look at it.

Got it going on, all the way live.

- [Farrah] Ma, I'm...

- [Diane] I gotta go. My ride is here.

- [Farrah] No, ma.

- [Diane] Later, baby.

- [Farrah] Ma?!

- [Diane] Call you after the show.

- [Farrah]... I'm... Hello?!

(Phone ringing)

- [Hank] Hey, baby girl.

- [Farrah] Daddy, can you talk?

I'm tripping real bad right now, dad.

- [Hank] No, no, no.

You called at the right, uh,

you always call at the right time.

Daddy loves your calls.

- [Farrah] Can you hear me?

- [Hank] Mm-hmm.

I'm just, uh, snacking.

- [Farrah] I never really properly grieved the ending

of any friendships.

And, I've had so many that meant a lot to me.

- [Hank] Play them b*tches.

- [Farrah] Dad?! What? No. Since

when do you even talk like that?

We not doing that.

I've been trying to pray my way, affirm my way,

friend-replace my way.

But, then the messed-up

part is I done spiraled already

by trying not to spiral.

- [Hank] Damn, I lost!

- [Farrah] Huh?

- [Hank] No, no.

I mean, baby girl, I'm lost.

- [Farrah] Meaning, like, mommy's friend died, died.

She's gone.

She was like an aunt to me, a sister to her.

And, she gets to grieve her

and honor her and be done with it

because they was solid when she left.

You know how many dead friendships I got floating

around my heart?

Haunted by the ghost of friendship past,

constantly trying to be a part of some sisterhood,

trying to be a sister, trying to have a sister.

Now I just lost a cousin!

It's draining.

And nobody cares, dad!

- [Hank] I'm sorry you're an only child.

Now, that was your mother's call right there.

- [Farrah] What does that have to do with anyth...

Dad, never mind.

Just never mind. Enjoy your card game.

Tell Jinx, Otto, Pete, Donald, Gene, Belinda,

whoever else, I said hi.

- [Hank] Baby, I'm not playing ca...

(Call drops)

(Gentle music)

- [Xiao] No one wanted an irreverent show

about a girl's high school basketball team.

And, no one wants to try and sell a script

about some Korean guy

committing random acts of racism

in the middle of a Stop Asian Hate movement.

The world doesn't care what's real.

(Gentle music)

- [Delivery Guy] You were doing

all of this stuff for somebody

who really didn't, to me, sound like they really cared

about too much of what you had going on.

(Gentle music)

- [Hank] I'm sorry you're an only child.

Now, that was your mother's call right there.

(Gentle music)

- [Diane] Check out your mother's outfit.

Okay! Check me out, girl.

Look at it.

(Dramatic music)

- [Shonnie] I can't with you.

See, you be doing the absolute most.

(Dramatic music)

- [Gerald] Our dear cousin, Shonnie, is no longer

with us on this earthly plane.

(Dramatic music)

- [Female Pastor] I'm still here to be obedient.

I'm still here to do what you called me to do.

To do what you told me to do.

To do what you created me to do.

To do what you chose me to do.

I'm still here, and I have purpose!

(Dramatic music)

(Sirens wailing)

(Papers rustling)

(Loud Banging)

(Knocking)

See, I know you in there!

You probably already grabbed something

to k*ll me with by now.

That's why I told you, you a sitting duck!

(Laughter)

I told you.

- [Farrah] What the f*ck, Dionne?

- [Dionne] Yo! What is that?

What's that, a kiddy knife?

- [Farrah] Yeah, so I can slice yo a*s.

- [Dionne] Can I come in?

- [Farrah] No!

- [Dionne] Can we just sit down and talk?

- [Farrah] Not with you in my house with your shoes on.

- [Dionne] Oh, sh**t.

Okay. Well can we just go outside then and take a walk?

- [Farrah] Only because that's

what I was about to do anyway.

- You was about to take a walk?

- Yes, anyway.

- Oh, that's what you was about to do anyway?

- Yes.

- That's what I was about to do anyway.

- You wasn't dipping and diving in here?

(Laughter)

- [Farrah] Why would you do something like that?

If you wanna talk, you can call.

- [Dionne] Wait, wait. Hold on.

Don't you gotta change like four times first?

(Laughter)

She mad!

(Laughter)

(Birds chirping)

- [Dionne] I was actually judging

you, and you were just sharing.

That's all I needed to do is just stay and listen.

- [Farrah] Right. Right.

- Yeah.

And, I don't know, I never want to seem

like I'm the drama queen.

So, I'm trying to, like, how do you tell

somebody that you have all these things going

on that are actually happening?

We have protests, we have, you know what I mean,

like illnesses, people still dying left and right.

And, I'm like, I don't want to be the person

where every time you see my name come up, it's like,

"Whoa boy, here we go, Farrah."

But, this stuff really be happening.

- Right.

So, that's the part that I'm just

kinda trying to balance, and...

- [Dionne] Oh sh**t, it's him.

- [Farrah] Who?

- [Dionne] Him!

- [Farrah] Raymond?

- [Dionne] The homeless guy.

- [Farrah] It's Raymond. Hey.

- [Raymond] Hey.

- [Dionne] Stop!

- [Raymond] What's going on?

- [Farrah] You! How's everything?

- Aht, aht, aht! What did we talk about?

- [Raymond] Six feet. Six feet.

- I'm sorry.

- [Farrah] All pandemic long.

- That's right.

- [Raymond] I remember the rules.

- [Farrah] Yeah.

You good?

- [Raymond] My coaching

business isn't taking off like I'd hoped.

- [Farrah] Understood.

- [Raymond] Yeah.

It's just, people don't get it.

They don't get that, when you're

in a relationship with someone,

you can't just be in halfway.

They all want a quick fix for their relationship,

and I don't know what to tell 'em.

You gotta put the work in.

- [Farrah] People want a quick fix

for everything these days, Ray.

- Yeah.

But, I want you to take care of

yourself out here, okay? All right?

- I will.

- All right.

- Thank you.

- Of course.

- [Raymond] You stay cute.

- [Farrah] Aw, thank you, Ray.

You always make my day.

- [Dionne] See how he's staring at me?

- [Farrah] Can you just...

- What?

I can't believe you have on that dented up,

crusty shield.

- [Dionne] I just, I gotta be careful.

- [Farrah] It's not even a good shield.

- [Dionne] So what?

I didn't know that was your friend.

He's still... speaking of friends.

- Hes still minding his business.

- [Farrah] Yes?

- [Dionne] I would like to reinstate our friendship

and get back together.

- [Farrah] Well, I don't know about that.

- [Dionne] Unh-enh! Now, you knock it off!

- [Farrah] I need to put myself first,

and I don't wanna overwhelm you.

- [Dionne] Girl, you act like we are

like divorcees with a 7-year-old.

Like, cut it out right now (Brief laughter).

You wanna get a green juice?

- [Farrah] I do, but I don't.

I do because of course I do,

but I don't because I got an agent to go fire.

- [Dionne] Awww, you gonna take my advice.

You gonna write about that stuff?

Okay. Okay!

- [Farrah] So.

- [Dionne] But, listen, just 'cause

you had ya little elevator incident,

don't think you're like your idol, Jay-Z.

Don't try to big time me.

- [Farrah] Are you done?

(Laughter)

- [Farrah] I just want you to be done because I'm done.

- [Dionne] I'm done. I'm done.

You know that guy?

- [Farrah] I do not.

But, he knows me.

- [Dionne] Okay.

- [Farrah] Crazy.

Yeah, I know, sounds a little cryptic, but...

We'll talk about it another time.

- [Dionne] So, anyway, after

you fire your agent... (Laughter)

("Calling Angels" by Dav Hall plays)

(Phone ringing)

- [Xiao] Hey, Farrah.

- [Farrah] Hi. How you doing?

- [Xiao] Well, ya know, world's still a sh*t show.

- [Farrah] You might actually be right about that.

- [Xiao] Ugh. Don't go all jaded on me now, Farrah. (Burps)

How are you?

- [Farrah] I don't even know how to respond.

You've never asked me that.

- [Xiao] Well, people usually just say "Fine,"

and then whatever they want. Ya know?

- [Farrah] Fine, then.

You're fired.

- [Xiao] Ha ha. What's up?

Seriously?

(Call drops)

- [Xiao] b*tch!

("Black Truck" by Milli2nd,

VLVT SVGE & Karma Hydra plays)

Money!

Roll in a big black truck

Big bad b*tch making big bag, bucks.

Wassup?

I can never give no f*ck

I made the grade got an A++

Plus, plus

I can never give no f*ck

VLVT SVGE b*tch

Oo, Milli

Escalade throwing all the shade

These b*tches wanna press me, lemonade

Renegade step out in the darkest shades

Keep a blade in my braids if you wanna play

Margiela on my hips switch switch

They gon' take a pic, all I hear click click

See it in da back, necks go snap

Dip it down low watch that a*s

clap, clap, clap clap, b*tch

Roll in a big black truck

Big bad b*tch making big bag, bucks

Wassup?

I can never give no f*ck

I made the grade got an A++

Plus, plus

I can never give no f*ck

Big bad b*tch making big bag, bucks

Roll in a big black truck

b*tch making big bag, bucks

What, what?

b*tch dont try me

Don't get my way, get feisty

Rock on my ring so icy

Can't look at my sh*t

Yeah, What?

Can't look at my sh*t it's blinding

Can't look at my sh*t it's blinding

Can't look at my sh*t it's blinding

Can't look at my sh*t it's blinding

Roll in a big black truck

I can never give no f*ck

I can never give no f*ck

Big bad b*tch making big bag, bucks

Necks go snap

Dip it down low watch that a*s clap, clap

(ding)

Roll in a big black truck

Big bad b*tch making big bag, bucks

Wassup?

I can never give no f*ck

I made the grade got an A++

Plus, plus

I can never give no f*ck

Big bad b*tch making big bag, bucks

Roll in a big black truck

b*tch making big bag, bucks

Big bad b*tch making big bag, bucks b*tch

Big bad b*tch making big bag, bucks b*tch

Money!

Big bad b*tch making big bag bucks

See it in da back, necks go snap

Dip it down low, watch that a*s clap, clap