Looking good, Junior.
Hey, you ready to take down
Bar Harbor on Saturday?
- That's the plan.
- Oh, yeah.
All right, well, let's see
how the Mosquito star player
can do against
the Hall-of-Famer.
Come on. Okay. Hey, bud.
Hey, you pitched a great game
last week, man.
I love cheering you on, buddy.
Keep it up, all right?
I used to pitch for the Skeets
back in the day, young g*n.
You know? I don't know
if you've ever heard.
I was known far and wide
for the "My Low High Low."
You think you can handle
that pitch?
- Bring it on.
- Oh!
Oh, no!
Mm
Good morning, guys.
So, listen,
I feel like I just, um,
I have to get really real
with you guys.
Like, no gimmicks, no puns.
Just, like, me and you talking.
So, here's the thing.
My mom has been dating
this loser,
I call him Dumb-Dumb,
for, like, six months now.
And last night at dinner she
tells me that he's moving in.
Like, "Pass the potatoes.
You have a new dad."
So I made the decision
to move out,
and I am not talking with her
right now,
which is why I appreciate this
community now more than ever.
What in God's name
are you doing here?
I have a new show.
Coffee With Elaine.
Unfiltered. No Sugar.
Great. I'm sure
it'll be a big hit.
No, I mean, why are you here,
sleeping on my sofa?
- I moved out of my house.
- Yeah, well, move back in.
I already have
one unwanted house guest.
I don't need another.
Do you guys remember
when I was telling you about
my amazing boss who's almost
like a father figure?
Well, he died.
So now I'm stuck with this guy.
Morning!
Don't let the dog get
Good morning, Sarah.
You should really name that dog.
Oh, I'm not giving him a name
and I'm not giving him a home.
- What's going on here?
- Oh, I'm
Clearly, I have a trespasser.
Call the police.
Why are you here?
Oh, I cut my finger on a rusty
old lobster chip. You wanna see?
Yeah, no, uh,
Elaine will take care of it.
Um, I-I should give you
a tetanus shot, though.
That Eddie McCroy.
He's been getting into
my lobstering territory again.
So I've had to start
cutting off his buoys.
You're still feuding with him?
When will this madness end?
When he's dead.
I'm gonna knock him out,
and then I'm gonna stuff him
in an old rusty lobster trap,
and then I'm gonna
throw him overboard.
I should give you
a rabies shot, too.
You're foaming at the mouth.
Hey, look. What do you,
uh, what do you think?
I mean, is it, is it cute?
Or does it, does it look like
I'm trying too hard?
- I think it's adorable. Yeah.
- Really?
I mean, maybe it would look
better belted.
Louisa, I know, we're the gays,
but i-it's time
you knew the truth.
We don't know anything
about fashion.
Um, speak for yourself.
Twenty years ago when I was
you-know-who's private chef,
designers, stylists
were coming in and out.
And one night
I was making dinner for Ah!
- Ah.
- It's k*lling you, isn't it?
Yes, never sign an NDA.
It's a prison
you will never be free from.
Don't you have
any female friends
you can talk fashion with?
Well, I-I mean,
there-there's Nicole. Um
She moved to Missoula.
And then Corinne.
But then she had
the twins, so
And then I guess Mark just kind
of became my-my whole world.
Well, I don't know zip
about fashion,
but I do know that women need
female friends,
if for no other reason,
so we can b*tch about
all the stupid, ignorant,
immature, insensitive stuff
that men do.
Present company excluded.
- Oh, stop.
- But isn't it a little weird?
I mean, how am I supposed
to go about
finding a best friend at my age?
I don't know,
maybe at the victory party,
when we celebrate our win
against Bar Harbor
all night long!
- Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.
- Bye, 12-year losing streak.
- Bye, Bar Harbor.
- Oh!
Victory is within our grasp!
- Yes, I can taste it.
- Go Woodpeckers!
Eddie McCroy,
what are you doing here?
Why don't you and your hat
go back
to Bar Harbor, where you belong?
I can set my traps
anywhere I want.
How about you shut your trap
and get the hell out of here?
Okay, okay, let's all calm down
and maybe save this enthusiasm
for the baseball diamond?
- Fine.
- Fine.
Go Mosquitos! And get
this pecker out of here.
It's Woodpecker,
and you know that.
This is bad.
I'll handle the diagnosis.
Thank you, Elaine.
I messed up, doc. Junior
is Skeeters' star player.
Strongest arm, biggest bat,
but I should have known that
the "My Low High Low"
could still defeat the best!
This is the first time
in over a decade
we even had a shot
at beating Bar Harbor.
Yeah, if it's all right
with the Greek chorus,
I'd like to talk to the patient.
- What did he call us?
- Just means shut up.
- Okay.
- It's not serious, is it?
I don't know, i-it-it could be
a muscle strain,
a-a pinched nerve, or the sign
of a more serious problem.
Junior, is there
someone Elaine should call?
- I already called my dad.
- Oh, I'm a dead man.
What happened?
What's going on with my son?
- This is your son?
- Yeah.
- He's Glendon Jr
- What happened?
I was putting in
extra time at batting practice,
like we talked about,
and then Mark came.
It wasn't my fault. It was
the damn "My Low High Low."
I hurt my back, but I'm fine.
I should be good by the game.
Okay. You better be.
You know, I was the star pitcher
for the Skeets back in my day?
Do you know how proud
it makes me that Junior here
is our best chance of beating
Bar Harbor in 12 years?
This kid is already famous
around here.
You hear that? Come on, champ.
Let's get you into an ice bath.
Just so you know, champ may have
a herniated disc
or something else that could
lead to further injury.
- We should really just Ah!
- Ah! Ah!
- What happened?
- Oh, my arm!
Huh! What?
What did you do to my son?
Looks like he broke his forearm.
It looks like
you broke his forearm.
Unbelievable.
Oh, y-you've ruined everything.
The game coming up,
college scholarships.
No, it-it just doesn't make
any sense his arm broke
that easily. I need to do
some X-rays to further assess
Oh, you've done enough.
I'm taking my son
to Bar Harbor Hospital.
You'll be hearing
from my lawyers.
What?
Ooh! Ha-ha!
I am loving that now
this is all your fault.
- Just, uh
- It's not my fault. Get out.
Ooh! Ha-ha
It's just like a huge, like,
a huge weight off my shoulders.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
Hey, I'm sorry about the fight
with your mom,
but I like your new show.
Thank you.
I'm trying to be real
because everything else
I was doing online
was just to get, like,
likes and views.
But being real is, like, huge
right now.
I think
it's a great idea, and
People will fall in love
with you just for being you.
Um, Jeannie?
- Hm?
- What do you think about this?
I mean, is it cute,
or is it trying too hard?
Super cute, but it needs a bow.
Oh, my God.
I was wondering that.
Yeah, otherwise
it's kind of giving off
"I woke up at a boy's house,
and I put on a shirt
because I drank too much,
and I slept in my dress" vibes.
That's not what I was going for.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
But with a belt
- Oh. Your belt. Ah.
- Yeah.
- It is Yeah.
- Okay.
- It's fun.
- Wow!
Oh, you like?
- Mm.
- And just tuck that. Oh!
- Okay.
- Yes. Okay.
Yeah, now give me a pose.
Louisa, yeah, yeah!
Vogue.
- Look at that. Mm-hmm. Ah!
- Oh, my God, I love it!
Thank you.
- Anytime. Mm.
- Mm
It's so nice
to talk to another woman.
You know, all that time
with Mark, I just forgot
how important
female friendships are.
- Yeah, they're not that great.
- Totally. What?
Isn't it all about
finding a man?
Your biological clock doesn't
care about sipping Cosmos
and talking about shoes.
You know what I mean?
- Oh, but Oh, you're serious.
- Of course.
The last thing I want is to end
up single with dried-up old eggs
and my good years behind me.
- No offense.
- Oh, me.
Okay. Yeah.
Elaine, can you find me
Junior's file?
I am working.
Yes, for me.
He's too young for osteoporosis.
Maybe he already had a hairline
fracture, something genetic.
Elaine, why can't I find
any records before 2020?
Is there a separate drive? Were
some of the files not digitized?
Elaine?
Elaine?
Welcome back to Coffee With
Elaine. Unfiltered. No Sugar.
Mm, since moving out,
I've felt super alone.
But we all feel alone
sometimes, right?
I would love to feel alone.
Have you found another place
to stay?
Mm, I mean,
I've always been different.
I-I have this rare thing where
my heart is on the wrong side.
It's on the right, not the left.
And I can't eat tomatoes
because they gross me out.
- Wait, are you a twin?
- So
What does that have to do
with tomatoes?
Well, I assure you, nothing.
But situs inversus
organ reversal
is most common among
identical twins.
I'm not a twin. I don't think.
Well, wait, how would I know?
I was just a fetus. Am I a twin?
Well, one twin can develop
with reversed organs
due to a later-than-usual
embryonic split, so
Why would my mother
never mention that?
What, did she have to give up
one twin for adoption
because she couldn't afford
to raise us both?
Oh, my God. No wonder
she's always resented me.
She thinks that she chose
the wrong twin.
Could my twin just, like,
be out there somewhere?
And if so, does she have
an extra bedroom?
Doc, could you try to find
my mom's files
from the day that I was born?
Sure. Anything else? Coffee?
No, I have.
The only thing worse than
having you as an assistant
would be having two of you
as assistants.
Now, I need you to find me
Glendon Jr.'s file
and his family's files.
Thank you.
In the meantime, if you know
someone who looks like me
but is not me,
please put that in the comments.
Well, that stinks.
Now that Junior's injured,
I guess there goes
the championship.
Oh, that pasta salad
did not hit the spot.
Well, we made the playoffs.
That's still
a huge accomplishment.
Save it for the kids, Louisa.
I needed a win.
That was my pasta salad,
by the way.
- You made it?
- Yes, I did.
And I brought it as my lunch.
So I guess Mark did the cooking
when you two were together?
Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
- What?
Someone must have left this
in the printer.
Oh, that's not interesting.
It's for Principal Halloway
from the county school board.
They might have to shut
the school down. Budget cuts.
- Well, maybe it's for the best.
- How is this for the best?
I am wasting my youth here.
None of the kids' dads
are even hot.
Okay. What about the kids?
We have to do something.
No, it-it's not so great
for the kids.
This is her. This has to be her.
She looks just like me.
That is you. That's
your Facebook page. Who's next?
I am. Because of you,
I need something for depression.
That Skeets victory
was all I had to live for.
Yeah, rooting for the Skeets was
one of the only things Freda and
I had in common.
We got engaged
to the Skeets game.
You've k*lled baseball
and you've k*lled our marriage!
What's the medical reason
you're here?
Arnold needs
his hearing checked.
Freda's yelling
broke my eardrums.
Oh, that's not true.
- That's not true!
- You're right, it's not.
My hearing's fine. I've just
stopped listening to you.
Oh, yeah, I know that.
Are you up What is this?
It's a prescription
for a divorce.
- Oh.
- Mr. Collins, you're up next.
- Uh-huh.
- Hey, doc. Hey, everybody.
Hey, brought you some donuts
from the Salty Breeze
'cause, you know, we're buds.
Yeah, that's not how
I would characterize it.
Oh, and 'cause I really, really
like you and respect you.
Are you proposing
or is there a point here?
You see, um
- Glendon
- Glendon. Oh.
You mean the father whose son
may have brittle bones,
but who cares as long
as the Skeets win on Saturday?
Yeah, about that. Um,
can I speak to you privately?
I don't have the time, Mark.
- I think you do.
- I really don't.
No, I really think you do.
Mark, I'm really
not enjoying this.
Okay. Okay.
- Are you Martin Best?
- Yes.
- Do you reside at 3 Main Street?
- Uh, what is this?
Okay. I'm just doing my job.
I'm really sorry, man.
You've been served. Glendon
is suing you for malpractice.
Ah!
- Malpractice?
- You did break a boy's arm.
No, I didn't break
his arm, he had
some kind
of pre-existing condition.
He sure did. He used to be
a good baseball player.
It's not amusing.
I-I, this lawsuit
is as ridiculous
as having a mosquito
as your mascot.
Oh, come on now. Let's not
say things we're gonna regret.
I am not the reason
Junior broke his arm.
If I could just examine him,
see a family medical history,
or look at an X-ray,
I could figure out
why it happened.
Exactly.
I know, I believe you, doc.
You're a good man.
But I would still lawyer up.
Hello?
The two of us can't sleep
with you making
all of that noise.
Neither you, nor the dog
who shall not be named,
should be sleeping in my house.
We're not
sleeping at your house.
Because you're making too much
racket. That's what I'm saying.
I think I know
what you're saying.
Anyway, just
Why do I even bother?
This kid either had
a pre-existing fracture,
or he has brittle bones.
In which case, something
is causing that condition.
Something that should be
addressed medically.
And a clue might be
in his records, right?
You'd think it'd be in his
records. But Dr. Reese, right?
Unfortunately, Dr. Reese,
who everyone loved,
didn't bother to digitize
all his files before he died.
This town is a nightmare.
Yeah, it kind of can be.
Some ways I'm glad
my twin sister got out.
Mm.
Ah. Ah.
Thank you for seeing me.
I hope you're here
to cheer me up.
Well, I, I know,
it's not good news.
You are telling me.
234 days straight
I'm the Wordle king.
And I forget to play one day,
one day,
and streak over?
I mean, it just, it just
slipped my mind. It just, it
How could it just slip my mind?
Well, uh, well, maybe
you were preoccupied by the idea
that our school might close.
No. No. No.
But you know what?
That's depressing, too.
I really loved
being the principal here.
Loved? Well, well,
it's-it's-it's just over?
I mean, w-w-we aren't gonna,
gonna fight this? Heh-heh.
I think losing our star player
is a sign
that we just, we can't compete.
You know, this is how it goes
at small schools.
- We had a good run.
- Uh
Don't you care what happens
to our students?
I know what'll happen to them.
They'll all get bused
to Bar Harbor.
And although it's a bit of
a commute, you know, at least
they'll have the opportunity to
experience victory for a change.
What's that long face about?
Oh, it's nothing.
- What happened to you?
- Oh, nothin'.
Eddie McCroy
cut some of my traps loose,
so I had to punch out
some windows on his boat.
You punched out glass windows?
No, dammit. It was too strong.
Look at this.
Did I break these fingers?
- Hey! Hey!
- Let me see.
Oh, what did you do now?
Oh, I may have inquired
about some records.
You went to Bar Harbor and tried
to access my son's X-rays?
Look, you, you have some nerve.
- Aunt Sarah, inside.
- And miss this?
Now, you know what's nervy?
You're suing the only doctor
who seems
concerned
about your son's brittle bones.
You sure you wanna
talk to me that way?
I don't wanna talk to you
at all.
No problem. That's what
we have lawyers for.
- Good luck proving your case.
- Yeah, I don't need luck.
I know someone who knows someone
at Boston Memorial Hospital.
Are you suing them, too?
I know you had some kind
of meltdown,
and that's why you're not
a surgeon anymore.
I can't wait to tell that
to a judge.
- And everyone else in town.
- Have at it?
I am not scared of you or any
nonsense you think you know.
Nice try
That may fool some people
around here,
but not me.
Ow!
- Ooh.
- Ah.
Ah. Ow.
Ah. Ow. Ow.
Since we don't have anyone
scheduled for an hour,
I might go talk to my mom.
That's fine. I have business to
take care of at the school. Hm.
The thing is,
these past few days,
living with somebody
so sad and lonely
has made me realize
how important family is,
especially when you're old.
So even though I said I would
never talk to my mom again,
I think that it is important
that I put my anger aside
and find out what happened
to my beloved twin sister.
Elaine!
Oh! I'm so happy to see you.
Did I have an identical twin?
- Yes.
- You gave her up for adoption?
- No!
- Oh.
Okay, so could she still be
out there somewhere?
What, did you put her in
a basket outside of a firehouse?
- Or something?
- No, no, no, no.
- Is she dead?
- No
- Well
- So what happened to her?
- You ate her.
- What?
Uh, uh, you know,
you absorbed her.
It-it-it was in-utero.
It was very early on.
I didn't wanna tell you
because I know
how you can overreact sometimes.
Overreact?
Great,
so I'm a sister-eating cannibal.
For me to live,
somebody had to die?
This is why I go around
always feeling
like something is missing,
I have a big hole in my heart?
I think
what you're describing is
a human condition, but continue.
So what else
haven't you told me?
Nothing. Except
I miss you.
And I want you
to move back home.
Well, I bet. I'm the only child
you have left.
Honey, I know there's
plenty of room for all of us
back at the house.
I was hoping that you'd warm up
to the idea of
Dumb-Dumb?
I wish you wouldn't
call him that.
What would you prefer
that I call him?
- Well, stepdad.
- What?
- He asked me to marry him.
- What? Uh
Don't overreact. We-we wanna
get married next week.
Next week? Oh, my God,
please tell me that he's dying!
And you're granting him
his last request.
Or just some kind of blackmail
situation that's going on.
Or have you just lost your mind?
Honey, I love him, and I don't
wanna wait one other second, but
I would really like
your blessing.
My bl
Not possible.
We went through
such a tough time together
you and I.
But it's been six years now.
I was hoping that
you would at least understand.
Well, I was hoping
I had a twin sister.
But I ate her.
So we can't have everything.
- Do you bruise easily?
- Why?
Are you gonna punch me
in the face now?
- Yes or no?
- No.
Any breathing issues?
- No, not that I know of.
- All right, open your eyes.
- Wide.
- Oh. Uh, Dr. Best. Dr. Best.
- Look up.
- What, w-what are you doing?
Checking for blue sclera.
You see here? No bluish tint.
That means we know it's probably
not osteogenesis imperfecta.
Okay, but I don't think
it's appropriate for you
to be examining a student
without his parent present.
- Yeah, dude. You're a creep.
- Yeah.
Well, I wouldn't have to
if your parent
were a little more helpful.
I-I just, I need to know
what happened, okay?
I, I'm being sued
for malpractice.
Right? This kid's health
is on the line.
I'm the only one in town
who seems to care.
Okay, okay. I-I get it. I, I do.
I, I just found out that
this school might be closing
due to lack of funding.
Yeah. I'm not surprised.
I mean, it's economics.
I mean, school serves
too few students.
- It's not financially feasible.
- But also, I might lose my job.
I mean, this is the only job
that I ever wanted,
and basically the only real job
I ever had.
Does no one understand that?
I mean, I thought, I thought
maybe because
of the malpractice suit,
you, you could relate.
I'm not losing my job.
I'll prove I was right.
- You just watch me.
- What?
Let me guess.
That's Eddie McCroy's truck.
Yeah. You want me
to get Glendon for ya?
No. Go home.
Well, look. It's Dr. Downer.
Everybody lock your doors
tonight.
He already broke an arm.
God knows what he'll do next.
- Gosh, Freda.
- The usual?
Garden salad
with chicken nougat?
Emphasis on the to-go part.
I think everyone here
would like you to go as well.
- Hey
- Oh, come on.
I have no idea why he's laughing
that hard.
Well, can you tell me
about Glendon Ross Jr.?
Does he eat here?
What does he like to order?
You wanna bring him
something as an apology?
That's not going to heal his arm
before Saturday.
You know, I have nothing
to apologize for.
- I-I just need any reason
- Don't worry, doc.
This will all calm down
after the game.
And, look, you never know.
The team could still win
without Junior.
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz, buzz
For God's sakes, people. Okay?
- This is not the World Series.
- Ah.
This is a high school
baseball game.
You heard me.
It's our World Series, doc.
These people
went to Port Wenn Day School
from kindergarten through 12th.
We're all Mosquitos at heart.
And we've all waited 12 years
to beat those snooty
Bar Harbor Peckers!
- Their team is the Woodpeckers.
- Yup.
How long does it take
to make a salad?
Oh, oh. Melissa.
Coming right up.
Hi, friends. Guess what?
Not only is my mother
engaged to Dumb-Dumb
I ate my twin sister.
It's right here.
Went down to the basement.
It's right here in the files.
What? There are paper files
in the basement?
It's called
Vanishing Twin Syndrome.
It's a really nice way of saying
I ate my sister.
Elaine, why didn't you tell me?
- Uh
- It's so dirty down there
I honestly think
I just blocked it out.
But now that it's about
something important
"But now that it's important"
You mean it's saving my reput
I don't, I don't even know
why I bother.
Oh, but watch out for that
one step.
Aha!
Guess what?
Glendon Jr. only has one kidney.
Well, don't let him near me. I
might try to eat the other one.
The kidneys regulate calcium,
vitamin D and phosphorus levels.
With only one, that might have
something to do with why
his arm broke so easily.
Now I just need to see Junior
and ask him some questions.
Why is he giving me this?
Hey, doc. I come bearing lattes.
Uh, Elaine can have mine.
I, uh, don't drink foam.
Yeah, give me.
Better latte than never.
Oh.
The bar for humor in this town
is very low.
Uh, anyway, doc,
I know that we're buds and all.
And I really like
and respect you.
- Wait, what-what's going on?
- I'm really sorry, man.
- Are you Dr. Martin Best?
- You already served me papers.
These are new papers.
This is a restraining order.
- What?
- I'm really sorry, man.
You're not allowed to contact
Glendon Ross Jr. at school.
You're not allowed to contact
Glendon Ross Jr. at home.
You're not allowed to contact
anyone in the Ross family
or be within 300 feet of them.
Are you kidding me?
A restraining order?
I'm just trying to figure out
what's wrong with his son.
I'm really sorry, man. You wanna
go, like, sh**t, like, darts o
No, I don't wanna go
sh**t darts!
I don't ever wanna
see you again.
You mean, like, in this
capacity, though, right?
Like, serving you papers, right?
- Sure.
- It's Louisa.
She says it's an emergency.
She needs to talk right away.
Really?
Oh, it's for you.
Good. I should go.
It's Junior.
He's in excruciating pain.
Can you please come
to the school and see him?
I would love to come see Junior,
but his father
just took out a restraining
order against me.
I don't wanna hear excuses.
He's in terrible pain.
You're just five minutes away,
so find a way!
There, just
Yeah. Oh.
Okay, okay, yup, yup, yup.
Oh, oh.
- Oh, gosh. Okay.
- Oh, my God. Sorry.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Hm. Hm.
Here.
Um, he's-he's having these
horrible waves of stabbing pain.
On a scale of one to ten,
how bad is the pain?
Oh, 11.
Just
- Ah! Ah.
- Oh, God.
I think you might have a kidney
stone, which needs to be
broken up sooner than later,
since you only have one kidney,
a fact you could have mentioned.
But, hey, here we are.
Louisa, will you call
the paramedics?
Yeah, um, of course.
That explains the back pain.
What does a kidney stone have
to do with brittle bones?
How should I know?
Unless
you're not processing protein.
Then you would have to be
overdosing it.
Are we consuming
an excess of protein?
Well, I do try to bulk up
during the season.
With what? Whole buffaloes?
- In there.
- Oh.
Thank you.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
All right,
ambulance is on its way.
How much protein powder
have you been taking?
Oh, I don't know, like
one of those a week.
This should last you
for a month.
How long have you been abusing
this stuff?
I wouldn't call it abusing.
It's protein powder.
Yeah, well,
your one kidney disagrees.
I started sophomore year, but
like I said, I ramp it up
during baseball season.
I needed to bulk up for
Yeah, well, you can forget about
the playoffs, okay?
You shouldn't be doing anything
physical or strenuous right now.
You can break like a twig.
You need to rest.
Stop taking the protein powder,
and get your bone health back.
Then I need to tell my dad.
Well, of course you need
to tell your dad.
But then it might sound like
it's my fault.
- It is your fault.
- Well, he can't know that!
He was really excited
about playoffs.
- It's a championship.
- He is suing me for malpractice.
I could lose my job.
The town could lose its doctor.
It's awful, isn't it,
the future being so insecure,
not knowing
if you're gonna keep your job?
What about
the restraining order?
And you're not even supposed
to be near me, right?
I could have you arrested
for even being here.
Just, I wanna get this straight.
Are you threatening me after
I climb through a window
to help you?
Uh, uh
Yes?
- I thought so.
- You should go.
Yes.
Oh.
- Yeah. Got it? Oh.
- Uh, yeah.
Yeah, no.
Yes.
I can imagine it's difficult.
With the school
possibly closing.
And, Junior, don't worry,
with a simple sound-wave
procedure to break up the stone,
you should be as good
- Forget it. Go. Go, go. Come on.
- Oh, okay, I'm just
- Yeah. Whoo!
- Have fun.
Okay. Uh
My God! What have you done now?
Nothing.
Couldn't find any dynamite.
What? We are not
a family of criminals.
I'm kidding, you're the one
with a restraining order
and a lawsuit against ya.
- Are you doing okay?
- I'm fine. Yeah.
I mean, I might lose my job
because of that
blustering, egomaniacal asshat.
- It's insanity.
- Oh, wait a minute.
Does that mean that you actually
wanna keep your job here?
- Of course.
- You
You wanna continue
to practice medicine
here in Port Wenn?
You like it here?
- That's not what I said.
- Aw.
- That's not what I said.
- Aw, come on now.
Admit it, admit it. You're
starting to be happy here.
Nope, not what I said.
It's the principle.
- Release me, please.
- All right, how about this?
How about I take out your rival
and you take out mine?
Mm. This has been
constructive. Yeah.
Look, if you wanna keep your
job, you wanna save your career,
you're gonna have to stand up
to this asshat.
Come on!
- Put up a fight, like me.
- With dynamite?
Well, good luck finding any.
I looked everywhere.
- Go Skeets!
- Go Skeets.
- What's the matter?
- Nothing.
Just who knows how many zzs
we'll have left.
The future is promised
to no one.
Ah! God, that drew blood.
- Uh, what's going on?
- Uh
Okay, look, don't tell anyone,
but the school
might be closing
due to lack of funding.
What? Port Wenn Day School?
That's all of our childhoods.
There's like 20 million memories
in there.
- Exactly.
- Yes. Are you okay?
Port Wenn Day
is like your whole life.
Thank you.
Finally someone gets it.
I mean, look,
school was never my thing,
but everybody knows that you're
like the best teacher ever.
Seriously, people don't shut up
about that.
Mm.
Oh! Oh!
Mm
I-I-I know that you're, uh,
looking for a place to live.
You've seen my show?
- Bits and pieces.
- Oh.
Yeah, you know, I was thinking
about renting out my spare room.
Do you wanna be my roommate?
- Are you serious?
- Yes!
You'll be like the sister
I never ate.
Huh.
Uh
- Come here. Yay!
- Yay!
Come on, boys, get out there!
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Yay!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Let's go!
Let's go, Paul!
Let's go, Woodpeckers!
Let's go.
Come on, y'all! Yes!
Hey!
Let's go.
Go Skeets!
Let's go, Skeeters!
Hey, let's go, boys!
This is No!
- Glendon!
- No, no! No.
- No, no can do, doc. No!
- Get out of here.
Come on, you know, you know,
this is k*lling me, but you've
gotta remain 300 feet away from
anybody in the Ross family.
Sit down, Dr. Downer.
We might actually win this game.
Yeah. Hey, can you believe it?
I think this is
the most exciting game
we've ever had
in Mosquito history.
Ow! Wow, we really gotta
rethink the team name.
These things are b*stards.
Anyhow
We're down to run
in the seventh, right?
Paul Parks gets up there,
hits an amazing single,
slides into first,
twists his ankle.
So we just sent out
a pitch runner.
- What's he doing in the game?
- 'Cause he's our fastest runner.
He could break
every bone in his body.
- Let's go, Junior!
- Come on, Junior!
- Let's go, Junior!
- Okay. Come on!
- Uh, just go, J!
- Let's go, Junior!
Let's go, Junior!
- Come on, J!
- Let's go!
Let's go. Come on, y'all! Yes!
Hey!
- Go Junior! Steal se!
- Buzz, buzz.
- Let's go, Junior.
- Zz, zz, zz.
Let's go, Junior.
Zz, zz, zz.
Everybody, everybody.
Yeah. Come on. Come on.
- Strike one!
- Oh!
It looked outside to me.
That's outside.
Okay, we got it.
We got it.
Now you've seen it.
Strike two!
- Ooh!
- Oh, damn it!
You are going down.
- Zz
- Go!
Go! Come on! Yay!
Come on, come on, come on.
Oh.
- Go, Junior!
- Ah!
- Okay! Okay!
- Let's go, J!
Run!
Run!
All the way up!
All the way up!
- Run, boy!
- He's gonna make it!
Run! Run! Run all
Don't! Don't!
Slide! Slide!
He's going home!
Slide home, Junior!
Slide home!
- What? No, no, no, no!
- What?
- What's happening?
- What's going on?
What the hell is wrong with you?
Why would you do that?
Forget about the lawsuit.
You're going to jail.
Dad, stop! He did it for me.
He's the reason you got hurt
in the first place.
No, I am!
I took too much protein powder,
and it made my bones brittle.
Why would you do something
so stupid?
Because I wanna make you
proud of me.
Doc Martin was just trying
to protect me.
Hey, you heard that, everybody?
- Doc B is a hero!
- Time! Time!
Port Wenn is disqualified
for fan interference!
I spoke too soon.
Doc, you should sneak out
the back.
Yes, I'm sure.
I talked to my lawyers.
That sounds expensive. What now?
I'm dropping the lawsuit.
Thank you for figuring out
what was wrong with my son.
- With no help from you.
- Hey.
Will you let me
finish before I change my mind?
What I'm trying to say is,
I won't tell anybody
about Boston.
There's nothing to tell.
Well, there's plenty to tell,
but I'm not telling anyone
for now.
All right, champ. That's great.
Uh, be careful.
He's a bag of bones.
Hey. Good job out there.
Oh! You will never beat us!
Never, never, never, never!
I'll beat you with my bare
hands, but I don't touch trash.
- Oh, who you calling trash?
- You!
You smell like
an old rotten herring,
you, you, you slimy old slob!
Oh. You say that again.
You slimy old slob!
Mm
Happens every year.
- Every year?
- Mm-hmm.
Go Skeets.
- Hm.
- Ah.
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01x03 - Take Me Out of the Ballgame
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A brilliant surgeon leaves Boston to become a doctor in the small town where he spent childhood summers.
A brilliant surgeon leaves Boston to become a doctor in the small town where he spent childhood summers.