01x01 - Poe to the Rescue

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[narrator reading]

Captain, the prisoner refuses to divulge the location of the Resistance base.

[sighs]

They never make it easy on us.

Forget it, Phasma! I'll never talk! Do your worst! It's not my worst you should worry about, Admiral.

Kylo Ren will arrive soon.

He's not as warm and cuddly as I am.

[narrator]

Meanwhile, help was on the way, just not for Admiral Ackbar yet.

Oh, no.

Oh, thank The Maker! Thank God, my distress call.

Over here! Over here! Ouch! - Come on, let's get you out of here, 3PO.

- Master Poe! Oh, I knew the general would send the Resistance's best pilot to save me.

Oh! Thanks, but actually I was the only pilot in the area.

C-3PO: I'm going to go on believing the first thing if you don't mind.

In the course of my ordeal on this wretched planet, I learned where Admiral Ackbar is being held.

Great.

We can get him before Kylo Ren does.

Yes, a daring rescue, just the two of us.

[beeps and whistles]

Oh! The three of us.

Oh, I'd recognize that beep anywhere.

R2-D2, it is Oh.

It's just you.

[mechanical noises]

Of course I'm happy to see you, BB-8.

I do mean it.

Don't be so sensitive.

- Hey, hey, guys, the admiral.

- Oh, dear, I forgot.

He's on a Star Destroyer in the Bakura sector.

Perfect.

BB-8, disguise time.

[beeps and whistles]

Now go.

That way! The direction I'm pointing with my temporary red arm, which I detest.

Haven't you noticed my new arm? - Oh, right.

Uh, what happened? - Oh, don't ask! - It's too terrible.

- [sighs]

Fine.

- But what a grand, perilous adventure it was.

- Sure.

Making the jump to lightspeed - in three, two - Oh, it could fill a book, and very likely it will! That's not Kylo Ren's shuttle.

He must be using the troop transport as a decoy.

Brilliant move.

Oh! Expecting someone else? Hey, I could use this.

Ah, yes, the old dress like a Stormtrooper ruse.

A classic.

- Hold it! - Yeah, I don't think so.

- Ow.

- Now that's a new one.

Poe: Admiral Ackbar! It's a trap! Huh? Whoa! It's Poe Dameron, I've come to rescue you.

- 3PO, now! - Oh, no need to yell.

BB-8, now! Hey, hey, you're free.

[yelling]

Utinni! [chuckling]

All part of the plan.

And now I get to do this! Oh, that was loud.

And I don't even have ear holes.

[alarm blaring]

The prisoner has escaped! [yelling]

Utinni! Uh-oh.

Stormtroopers, after them! C-3PO: Quickly, let's go! Whoa! Aah! All TIEs, pursue that ship! [music]

What? Aah! Welcome, Kylo Ren.

I hope your journey was Oh! Captain Phasma, you have failed me for the first time.

This is most distressing! [BB-8 shrieking]

But it's so nice to have a counterpart who shares my reasonable sense of panic for a change.

We will never outrun those TIE fighters in this beast! True, but we won't be in this beast much longer.

Hang on! Ackbar: What are you doing?! C-3PO: They'll terminate us all! Some friends are waiting for us.

There! Huh? Ackbar: Oh, you're good.

You're good.

Both: Hey! Target acquired.

- Direct hit! - Mission accomplished! The target is destroyed.

Repeat, the target is Both: Uh-oh.

Both: We didn't see that coming! You're just full of surprises, aren't you? I like to shake things up a little.

[gasps]

Bye-bye.

C-3PO: Oh, no, we're doomed! I never doubted you, BB-8.

[mechanical noises]

I did not! For a metal droid, you've got an awfully thin skin.

- C-3PO: Ah! This is the end of me! - Poe: I'm on top of it.

Ackbar, let's get you back to base.

Yes! And the base is that way! Over there! - Hey, I like that new arm.

- Well, I hate it.

Then, uh, why do you keep calling attention to it? Well, it's always nice to be noticed.