Fallout: The Ghoul Log (2025)

[bunniefuu]

Well, this ain't no Whoville, but...

it'll do.

I got me enough vials to last me

12 days of Christmas.

See this? It ain't no log.

This is a human arm.

Specifically, a fat man's.

It burns nice, doesn't it?

Surprising, huh?

I keep a few of these arms

dry aging throughout the year

just because it's so nice

during the winter.

Stay armed, stay warm.

That's what I always say.

Well, I'd give you

the season's greetings,

but we don't have much

by the way of seasons

out here anymore.

And we damn sure

don't have any Santa Claus.

My jaw hurts from talkin',

so why don't y'all stare

at this fire for a little while?

Now, if I fall asleep, make sure

you tilt my head away from it.

Yes, indeed. This is Mr. New Vegas

coming to you live from my namesake,

bringing you all your holiday favorites

this Christmas season.

Now, I hope it's warm and cozy

where you are,

and not because

you're losing consciousness.

Unless, of course,

that's what you want to do.

We all cope with the horrors of life

in our own chemical way.

I'm taking your dedications all night

and reading your Christmas greetings

and heartwarming stories live on the air.

Here's one from Bob in the former Arizona.

He writes,

"My dog ran off on Christmas Eve,

and I tell you, it was a repeat

of the exact story of Christmas.

Strangers came out of nowhere

to help us look for him,

just like the Three Kings

from Orient Are.

I was working with them

as one of the kings,

and then God is the King of all kings.

So, we had five kings,

but there were seven people total.

Two women and five men,

so five kings.

Two queens plus me, plus God.

That's nine kings total,

including queens.

And none of us knew

where the heck this dog was.

So, I'm thinking, that's like

the original Jesus from the story.

The dog is the lost baby Jesus.

So, I'm starting

to get very stressed out

because not only did I lose the dog,

but the dog would tell me

when somebody was coming.

These people appear.

They don't find him.

Plus, they keep asking me

if I have chems.

And I do, but I'm not sharing,

and I'm mad,

and that's making me feel guilty.

Yes, I have rage issues,

but that explains why

I can't part with the chems.

They're medical.

Anyways, it turns out

the dog hadn't gone far.

He heard me

executing some people earlier,

got scared and hid in the panels.

He eventually came back out

when I started roasting

one of the people I k*lled.

Now, I wish I'd had figured that out

before I ex*cuted all the other kings,

but I did my best with the information

I had at the time.

Long story long,

I didn't know I needed a dog

to celebrate Christmas

before I tried doing it without one.

Isn't that pathetic?

I hate myself."

Thanks, Bob.

Now, here's a holiday tune

that'll soothe you

faster than a blood brain barrier

full of gaseous chems.

Hap, hap, hap, happy New Year

Hap, hap, hap,

happy New Year

Hap, hap, hap, happy New Year,

doo-dee

We wish you a merry Christmas,

we wish you a merry Christmas

We wish you

a merry Christmas

- And a happy New Year

- New Year

Good tidings we bring

to you and your kin

We wish you a merry Christmas

and a happy New Year

We all want some figgy pudding,

we all want some figgy pudding

We all want some figgy pudding,

so bring some out here

Good tidings we bring

to you and your kin

We wish you a merry Christmas

and a happy New Year

We won't go until we get some,

we won't go until we get some

We won't go until we get some,

so bring some out here

Good tidings we bring

to you and your kin

We wish you a merry Christmas

and a happy New Year

Hap, hap, hap, happy New Year

Hap, hap, hap, happy New Year

Hap, hap, hap, happy New Year,

doo-dee

We wish you a merry Christmas,

we wish you a merry Christmas

We wish you a merry Christmas

- And a happy New Year

- New Year

Good tidings we bring

to you and your kin

We wish you a merry Christmas

and a happy New Year

We wish you a merry Christmas

and a happy New Year

We wish you a merry Christmas

and a happy New Year

Hap, hap, hap, happy New Year

Hap, hap, hap, happy New Year

Hap, hap, hap, happy New Year,

doo-wee

Have yourself a holiday

A happy day

Merry Christmas

Oh, I'm like a kid at Christmas

How I love the scent of pine

and snowy Christmas postcards

How they decorate my mind

Yes, I'm like a kid at Christmas

'cause it still gives me a thrill

when I feel the spirit of

goodwill

Oh, I'm like a kid at Christmas

How I love the cold, the choirs

and gifts unwrapped

by loved ones

girl, by a blazing fire

Yes, I'm like a kid at Christmas

'cause it still gives me a thrill

when I feel the spirit of

goodwill

Good, good, goodwill

Have yourself a holiday

Good, good, goodwill

Have yourself a happy day

Yes, I love the Christmas spirit

of goodwill

Now, I know that you love Christmas

All white with falling snow

A tree with all the trimmings

A touch of mistletoe

And like a kid at Christmas

how I got a wish, it's true

How I love to spend my Christmas

with you

Good, goodwill

Have yourself a holiday

Good, goodwill

Have yourself a happy day

Have yourself a holiday

Have yourself a happy day

Have yourself a holiday

Have yourself a happy day

Have yourself a holiday

Have yourself a happy day

Hi, I'm DJ Mr. New Vegas,

and picturing you sit there listening,

lounging in your lingerie,

sets my imagination

to spinning 45 rpm.

Here's a tune.

- Merry, merry Christmas

- Merry, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Children playing in the snow

- Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas

- Santa's coming soon

Soon, Santa's coming, h* h* h*

- Merry, merry Christmas

- Merry, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Everywhere there's so much joy

- Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas

- Santa's coming soon

- Soon, Santa's coming, h* h* h*

- h* h* h*

Merry, merry,

merry, merry, merry

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

- Merry, merry Christmas

- Merry, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Children playing in the snow

- Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas

- Santa's coming soon

Soon, Santa's coming, h* h* h*

- Merry, merry Christmas

- Merry, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Everywhere there's so much joy

- Merry, merry, merry, merry, Christmas

- Santa's coming soon

Soon, Santa's coming, h* h* h*

- Santa's coming soon

- Soon, Santa's coming, h* h* h*

You know,

I love listening to these old sides,

but not as much as I love

listening to your stories.

I wanna hear from you.

Here's a little holiday yarn

from Sluggins Rex,

who writes in from the Siltlands

with this reminiscence.

"People might complain about

Christmas in the Wastelands,

but it's better than in the Vaults.

Trust me.

I celebrated Christmas

in a Vault last year, and it sucked.

They were doing this whole

Christmas in Hawaii thing,

and it was tacky and pathetic.

They were like,

'Hey there, try this kalua pork,'

and then they gave me

a c*ck weenie.

That's pretty disappointing.

Even though I hadn't been

around people in years,

I could still tell this is lame.

I guess that's kind of a gift

at Christmas,

knowing that you're

a more interesting person

than 100% of the Vaulties.

That does make me feel

like I've got the ear of Santa.

So, Santa, if you're listening,

bring back the real kalua pork.

We've all seen these giant pig creatures

roaming the Wasteland.

I'm pretty sure I have,

or at least the dust clouds

that they kick up.

What say us all listeners

band together

having a hunting party?

Half of us can dig huge holes,

fill it with these kind of hot rocks

that they have now

that never cool off,

and see if we can't get that sucker

tasting like some kalua.

I'll test it, I promise.

You can watch and see if my face

sprouts tumors instantly,

like when they started

growing corn again."

Sounds good to me, Sluggins.

I'll be first in line

to join your hunting party.

Now, who recognizes

this classic holiday tune?

Jingle bells, jingle bells,

jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh, hey

Jingle bells, jingle bells,

jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh

Dashing through the snow

in a one-horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

laughing all the way

Bells on bobtails ring

making spirits bright

What fun it is to ride and sing

a sleighing song tonight

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells,

jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh, hey

Jingle bells, jingle bells,

jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh

A day or two ago

I thought I took a ride

and soon, Miss Fanny Bright,

seated by my side

The horse was lean and lank,

misfortune seemed his lot

He'd got into a drifted bank

and we, we got upsot

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells,

jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh, hey

Jingle bells, jingle bells,

jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open

sleigh

O little town of Bethlehem

how still we see thee lie

Above thy deep

and dreamless sleep

the silent stars go by

Yet in thy dark street shineth

the everlasting light

The hopes and fears

of all the years

are met in thee tonight

Yet in thy dark street shineth

the everlasting light

The hopes and fears

of all the years

are met in thee tonight

Are met in thee

tonight

Regardless, whether you're listening

to every one of these dedications,

I will always love you forever.

Nothing can change that.

Hey, everybody, gather round

It's a rockin' holiday

We're all gonna sit

by the Christmas tree

and tomorrow's Christmas Day

Mom's on the left,

Dad's on the right

and the kids

won't leave us alone

Let's move on under that mistletoe

It's a great night to be home

It's a rockin' holiday

A rockin' holiday

It's a rockin' holiday

A rockin' holiday

Just sit right down

underneath the tree

and we'll wait for Santa's sleigh

It's quite alright

if it takes all night

It's a rockin' holiday

It's a rockin' holiday

A rockin' holiday

It's a rockin' holiday

A rockin' holiday

Let's make another snowman

We use a carrot for his nose

Oh, Kris Kringle's on his way

and his elves

are covered with snow

It's a rockin' holiday

A rockin' holiday

It's a rockin' holiday

A rockin' holiday

Oh, it's a rockin' holiday

Yeah, a rockin' holiday

Oh, it's a rockin' holiday

A rockin' holiday

It's a rockin' holiday

Folks, I love each and every one of you.

I feel your love

bouncing back to me like sonar.

It hits me hard, like a blast wave.

Keep those dedications coming.

Hark, the herald angels sing

Glory to the newborn King

Peace on Earth and mercy mild

God and sinners reconciled

Joyful, all ye nations rise

Join the triumph of the skies

With angelic hosts proclaim

Christ is born in Bethlehem

Hark, the herald angels sing

Glory to the newborn King

Christ by highest Heav'n adored

Christ, the everlasting Lord

Late in time behold Him come

Offspring of a Virgin's womb

Veiled in flesh the Godhead see

Hail the incarnate Deity

Pleased as man

with man to dwell

Jesus, our Emmanuel

Hark, the herald angels sing

Glory to the newborn King

Hail the Heav'n-born

Prince of Peace

Hail the Son of Righteousness

Light and life to all He brings

Risen with healing in His wings

Mild He lays His glory by

Born that man no more may die

Born to raise

the sons of Earth

Born to give them second birth

Hark, the herald angels sing

Glory to the newborn King

It's a very merry, merry,

merry Christmas

and it happens every year

There's lots of toys

for girls and boys

and plenty of holiday cheer

It's a won-won-wonderful holiday

and we're happy as can be

Hear the Christmas bells

ringing through the hills

Now, it's time

for the Christmas tree

Bum, bum, bum,

bum-bum-bum, bum

Yeah, it happens every year

Bum, bum, bum,

bum-bum-bum, bum

Let's spread that Christmas cheer

Bum, bum, bum,

bum-bum-bum, bum

Santa's on his way

Oh, you better be good

'cause he's checking his list

and he's loading up his sleigh

It's a very merry, merry,

merry Christmas

Take a walk in the frosty air

Every time you go outside

there's snowflakes in your hair

Have a happy, happy,

happy little holiday

and a won-wonderful New Year

Let's deck those halls

with mistletoe

'cause Christmastime is here

Let's deck those halls

with mistletoe

'cause Christmastime is here

So, here's a letter from Angry Ron.

Ron says, "I'm angry

because it's the same

Christmas songs every year.

They don't do anything

for me anymore.

How do Christmas songs

about some baby

5,000 miles away pertain to my life?

I respond to art

that speaks to my experience.

Please play some contemporary rap

made in the Wasteland."

I'm sorry, Ron.

You may be angry, but these songs

are the only ones

we have here in the station.

The rest all perished in fires

or were pillaged by bandits.

And so now, for the fifth time tonight,

"God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen."

Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo

Doo-doo-doo-doo,

doo-doo

I don't need no presents

'round my tree

or no mistletoe

to share my needs

Christmastime with you

more than enough for me

For me

When I look into your eyes

I realize

that my love for you

more than true

Christmastime with you

more than enough for me

For me

There'll be choirs singing

children playing

stories being read from a book

There'll be beautiful weather

families together

Christmas, that's all it took

I don't need no presents

'round my tree

or no mistletoe

to share my needs

Christmastime with you

more than enough for me

For me

There'll be beautiful weather

families together

Christmas, that's all it took

Oh, I don't need no presents

'round my tree

Seeing you all together

enough for me

Christmastime with you

more than enough for me

Doo-doo-doo-doo,

doo-doo

Christmastime with you

more than enough for me

Doo-doo-doo-doo,

doo-doo

Christmastime with you

more than enough for me

Back again with more

of your Christmas greetings

and dedications.

Here's one from Andy C. who says,

"I love these old tunes,

but it's hard for me to sing

these Christmas carols

knowing I have eaten

over 100 people."

Don't worry, Andy,

we'll let the records

do the singing for you.

Andy continues, "Singing

'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'

was hard enough after k*lling a man,

but after I devoured his whole family,

I was unable to carry out that tune

without breaking down in tears.

It just takes some of the joy

out of the season

when you eat the people

you used to celebrate with.

Knowing the taste

of a human gallbladder,

I suppose I sing 'O Holy Night.'

How can I think of anything

but the bile?

It's easy to sing the words,

but the words

don't mean anything anymore,

I mean, what even is a sleigh?

I don't think I've heard

sleigh bells in 400 years.

I can slay my friends

and neighbors and eat them,

but a one-horse open sleigh,

it's meaningless.

I was kicked out of a family dinner

for acknowledging

that we ate my cousin.

Never discuss who you're eating

as you're eating them.

The people I was with

say it makes you feel sick.

I can't confirm that, but I can confirm

it makes people mad.

I wish I hadn't eaten so many people

so I'd have someone around

to make me feel better."

Well, Andy C.,

I can't make you feel better

because what you've described

is a work of an evil person.

But I'll let God do the judging.

Here's an old classic.

h* h* h*, and here we go,

up in Santa's sleigh

h* h* h*, and here we go,

merry all the way

Santa said to jump right in,

take a Christmas ride with him

Bags of toys for boys and girls,

spreading joy around the world

h* h* h*, and here we go,

up in Santa's sleigh

h* h* h*, and here we go,

merry all the way

High up where the reindeer fly,

swooping, swirling across the sky

Santa's got his list in hand

along with his special Christmas plan

h* h* h*, and here we go,

up in Santa's sleigh

h* h* h*, and here we go,

merry all the way

Santa said to jump right in,

take a Christmas ride with him

Bags of toys for boys and girls,

spreading joy around the world

h* h* h*, and here we go

for a most exciting time

h* h* h*, and here we go,

get ready for a ride

Silent night

Holy night

All is calm

All is bright

Round yon virgin

Mother and child

Holy infant

so tender and mild

Sleep in Heavenly

peace

Sleep in Heavenly peace

Silent night

Holy night

Shepherds quake

at the sight

Glories stream

from Heaven afar

Heavenly hosts

sing Alleluia

Christ the Savior

is born

Christ the Savior is born

Silent night

Holy night

Son of God

Love's pure light

Radiant beams

from Thy holy face

with the dawn

of redeeming grace

Jesus Lord

at Thy birth

Jesus Lord at Thy birth

Jesus Lord

at Thy birth

Jesus Lord at Thy birth

George Washington Thizz

from Sandy Gulch writes,

"w*r never changes.

Neither does Christmas.

Same songs every year.

You ever notice that?"

I happen to like it, George.

You know, living in a place

where you never really know

where you are

because you're surrounded

by shifting sand dunes,

I find Christmas songs

are like wayfinding stars

to guide my year by.

If I hear 'em,

I know Christmas can't be far away.

Angels we have heard on high

sweetly singing o'er the plains

And the mountains in reply

echo back their joyous strains

Gloria

in excelsis Deo

Gloria

in excelsis Deo

Come to Bethlehem and see

Him whose birth the angels sing

Come adore on bended knee

Christ the Lord, the newborn King

Gloria

in excelsis Deo

Gloria

in excelsis Deo

In excelsis Deo

Gloria

in excelsis Deo

Gloria

in excelsis Deo,

in excelsis Deo

In excelsis Deo

Santa Claus, don't be late

on Christmas Eve

We're hoping that old Rudolph

finds his way

Santa, I can hardly wait

for Christmas Eve

So you better bring lots

of presents in your sleigh

Please, Santa Claus

I've been waiting so long for you

Come and visit me on Christmas Eve

So I hope you'll drop on by

as you ride across the sky

and I'll pretend to be fast asleep

Santa Claus,

don't be late on Christmas Eve

We're hoping that old Rudolph

finds his way

Santa, I can hardly wait

for Christmas Eve

So you better bring lots

of presents in your sleigh

Please

Santa Claus,

don't be late on Christmas Eve

Hoping that old Rudolph

finds his his way

Santa, I can hardly

wait for Christmas Eve

So you better bring lots of

presents in your sleigh

Please

Hope you'll drop on by

as you ride across the sky

And I'll pretend to be fast asleep

This is DJ Mr. New Vegas

and I love your style.

I'm attracted to you. Understand?

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh

Hey, jingle bells, jingle bells,

jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh

Dashing through the snow

in a one-horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

laughing all the way

Bells on Bobtail ring,

making spirits bright

What fun it is to laugh and sing

a sleighing song tonight

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells,

jingle all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh

Hey, jingle bells, jingle bells,

jingle all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

on a one-horse open sleigh

Hey, jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh

Dashing through the snow

in a one-horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

laughing all the way

Bells on Bobtail ring,

making spirits bright

What fun it is to laugh and sing

a sleighing song tonight

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells,

jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh

Hey, jingle bells, jingle bells,

jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse open sleigh

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-horse

open sleigh

Good King Wenceslas looked out

on the feast of Stephen

When the snow lay round about,

deep and crisp and even

Brightly shone the moon that night

though the frost was cruel

When a poor man came in sight

gath'ring winter fuel

Bring me flesh and bring me wine,

bring me pine logs hither

Thou and I will see him dine

when we bear them hither

Page and monarch, forth they went,

forth they went together

Through the rude wind's wild lament

and the bitter weather

Good King Wenceslas looked out

on the feast of Stephen

When the snow lay round about,

deep and crisp and even

Brightly shone the moon that night

though the frost was cruel

When a poor man came in sight

gath'ring winter fuel

And here's a letter

from a long-time listener, P. from. D.E.

He says, "Every year I listen

to your show." Thank you, P.

"And I reflect on the people

I spent prior Christmases with,

k*lling or eating.

Like Jimmy Cain,

who went caroling with me

in order to distract our marks

while we robbed them.

He got a little handsy

with his half of the take,

so I had to put a b*llet in his brain.

Or Melissa, who used to deck the halls

in a major way,

filling our collapsed shipping container

with all manner

of radioactive glowing bugs

in a Christmas spirited style.

She got bad tumors,

had to put her out of her misery.

And how could I forget Big Sarah,

who captained the merry sleigh

when we hitched our gear

to some angry Brahmins

and made it more than a hundred miles

across the Wasteland together?

She didn't say thank you enough,

so I had to put a b*llet

in her brain also.

But I think about her often

because of just how long I spent

trying and eventually devouring

all of her copious leg meat.

She had huge, great legs.

Now, I don't mean that in a sexy way,

just in a hungry way.

I found a large cyst on one of her legs

and there was a full tooth growing in it.

Please play

'Angels We Have Heard on High' for me."

O, Christmas tree,

o, Christmas tree

How lovely are your branches

O, Christmas tree,

o, Christmas tree

How lovely are your branches

Your boughs are green in summer time

and through the snows of winter time

O, Christmas tree,

o, Christmas tree

How lovely are your branches

O, Christmas tree,

o, Christmas tree

What happiness you're bringing

O, Christmas tree,

o, Christmas tree

What happiness you're bringing

Your boughs are green in summer time

and through the snows of winter time

O, Christmas tree,

o, Christmas tree

What happiness you're bringing

Christmas tree,

o, Christmas tree

Your beauty green will teach me

Christmas tree,

o, Christmas tree

Your beauty green will teach me

that hope and love will ever be

the way that joy is peace for me

O, Christmas tree,

o, Christmas tree

What happiness you're bringing

I see the snowflakes fall

Young children have a ball

But I can't smile at all

You're not with me

The sleigh bells play their tune

for Santa's coming soon

But I can't hide the gloom

You're not with me

I want you for Christmas

My tree just won't burn bright

It won't seem like Christmas

until we make things right

- Ooh

- I see snowflakes fall

Young children have a ball

But I can't smile at all

You're not with me

I hear the choir sing

Watch present parents bring

but they don't mean a thing

You're not with me

I want you for Christmas

My tree just won't burn bright

It won't seem like Christmas

until we make

things right

It came upon the midnight clear

that glorious song of old

From angels bending near the earth

to touch their harps of gold

Peace on the earth, goodwill to men

from heaven's all gracious king

The world in solemn stillness lay

to hear the angels sing

Still through the cloven skies

they come

with peaceful wings unfurled

And still their heavenly music floats

o'er all the weary world

Above its sad and lonely plains

they bend on hovering wing

And ever o'er its Babel sounds

the blessd angels sing

And ye, beneath lifes crushing load

whose forms are bending low

Who toil along the climbing way

with painful steps and slow

Look now for glad and golden hours

Come swiftly on the way

Oh, rest beside the weary road

and hear the angels sing

For lo the days are hastening on

by prophets seen of old

When with the ever circling years

shall come the time foretold

When the new heaven and earth shadow

rejoice their peaceful king

The whole world send back the song

which now the angels sing

I'm DJ Mr. New Vegas,

and as long as we have each other,

we're never truly alone,

living in squalor.

Here's a letter

from Hard Ted in Heartland.

Ted writes, "Please play 'Let It Snow.'

I miss the snow.

It was great cold, I think,

but not the kind of cold you feel

when you accidentally lick uranium,

or the kind of cold you get when

you sleep in a moldy crawl space.

I wish I could see snow

that wasn't just radioactive metal

flaking off some burning husk.

I remember the snow

when it used to come out of the,

uh, what's it called, cloud?

I was trying to remember

what sledding was like,

but for some reason, all I can think of

when I think of sleds

is just skin sloughing off

charred corpses and broken bones.

Like last year, I thought I saw snow,

but it was actually

a whole ton of termites

all flying out of some barn.

Whatever was in that barn

must have been even worse

than a plague of termites.

I find myself thinking this way now."

We all do, Ted. Merry Christmas.

Suck down some chems

and see if you can't forget

all about your circumstances.

Let's share a special gift

this Christmas

A love that we'll share

from this day on

Then seal our gift of love with kisses

while being wrapped up

in each other's arms

Let's exchange kisses this Christmas

Your kiss will be the gift

to top them all

Hey, let's exchange kisses

this Christmas

Our love will keep us warm

'til Santa calls

This is the friendliest of seasons

for one and all, a festive time

Love's all around

and that's the reason

to celebrate

Just place your lips on mine

Let's exchange kisses this Christmas

Your kiss will be the gift

to top them all

Let's exchange kisses this Christmas

Our love will keep us warm

'til Santa calls

We just might wait

'neath the mistletoe

to be face to face

for the best thrill we know

Let's exchange kisses this Christmas

Your kiss will be the gift

to top them all

Let's exchange kisses this Christmas

Our love will keep us warm

'til Santa calls

This love we feel today

would never go away

if we share Christmas kisses

every day

Deck the halls with boughs of holly

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Tis the season to be jolly

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Don we now our g*y apparel

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Troll the ancient Yuletide carol

Fa la la la la, la la la la

See the blazing Yule before us

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Strike the harp and join the chorus

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Follow me in merry measure

Fa la la la la, la la la la

While I tell of Yuletide treasure

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Fast away the old year passes

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Hail the new year, lads and lasses

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Sing we joyous all together

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Heedless of the wind and weather

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Deck the halls with boughs of holly

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Tis the season to be jolly

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Don we now our g*y apparel

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Troll the ancient Yuletide carol

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Fa la la la la, la la la

La

And that's it for me, kids.

Stay alive out there.

I'm technically not.

It's Mr. New Vegas signing off.

A Merry Christmas to all

and to all a good night.