02x06 - ANGELA

[bunniefuu]

[thud]

Now, I don't want you
to feel bad.

You did very well.
The problem is,

you don't know how
to set boundaries.

And until you figure that out,
I don't know what to tell...

[cell phone rings]
Excuse me.

[ringing stops]

It's all about the boundaries.

Every important relationship...

[cell phone rings]

I'm so sorry.

This is...
[ringing stops]

[ringing resumes]
Oh, my God.

What? What?

WOMAN: What are you doing?

-I'm busy.
-What do you want?

-Come over.
-I can't.

-Why not?
-Because I'm working, Angela.

-...Boo! -Come on, I need you...
-[man sputtering]

Ah, ah, ah,
do not move, do not move.

You do realize
there are other people

in this world besides you,
you know?

-I have a life...
-[Angela scoffs]

Oh, nice. Real mature.

Fine, I'll call someone else.

I'm sure the police would
be happy to hear from me.

You wouldn't dare.

I've got my special phone
on speed dial.

God damn it!

[hangs up]

Unbelievable...

[muttering]

Women, you know?

[man groaning]

[eerie theme music]

♪

[Joseph sighs]

Okay. Boundaries.

It's just boundaries.

Boundaries.

You got this.

[sighs]
I told you to lock the gate.

All right, good.

It's still there, good.

Angela.

Angela?

Are you kidding me?

Angela.

How many times
I have to tell you,

you got to lock the doors
and the gate.

It's not safe.

You don't know what
person would just

come walking right in here...

Oh, sure, okay.

Everything's a game.

Yep, okay...

[Angela screaming]

[laughing]

Ow! Okay, that's enough.

-I can't believe it.
-You came!

Don't tickle me, stop!

"Don't tickle you..."

Angela, get off of me!

[laughter]

Jesus, Angela!

You came.

Of course I came.

You keep blackmailing me,
and I keep coming.

I could just k*ll you, you know.

I know, but you're not going to.

Oh, yeah?

Why is that?

Because...

you're obsessed with me.

[blender whirring]

[whirring stops]
The juice is ready.

You want a little juice?

-No.
-Come on, just try some.

I'm not drinking right now.

Oh, my God,
you're so not fun anymore.

Why do you need three blenders?

What is this?

Why do you care?

Because it's my money
and we have an understanding.

I will cover your basic needs...

[mocking robot noises]

[slurring]
I'm a kept woman!

So I just am needing
some things...

-Yeah, but three blenders...
-Hey, hey!

I want you to meet Ronaldo.

Ronaldo, he makes me
special drinks.

Okay?

And this handsome man
is Salvador.

And Salvador came with

a beautiful water bottle
named Eleanor.

And I really, really
wanted a water bottle,

I couldn't get it
without the blender.

And this one,

this delicate flower,

she's still a virgin.

See that?

And I think you know
exactly why.

Hmm?

What are you talking about?

What do you mean
what am I talking about?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

That was...

This is a wedding present,
you f*cking as*h*le!

-Wedding?
-What are you talking about?

-Are you a f*cking idiot?
-The way you misremember...

This was our wedding present!

No, no, you misremember things.

-You misremember things!
-No, you come up with...

-I don't come up with stories!
-You come up with...

Angela, I'm not getting...

Why are you yelling at me?

You said to come, and I came.

What do you need?

Okay...

What? Is it the toilet?

No, no.

Tell me what you need.
If it's a toilet,

-there's people you can call...
-No, it's not...

-Well, what is it?
-Because I can't...

Hey, I want you
to look right in my eyes

when I tell you this is
that I missed you.

I miss you. I miss you.

You're just so busy these days.

You're so busy with this

fancy k*ller job of yours,
and that's awesome.

I'm so happy for you.

And I was happy.

I'm happy that I gave up
all my dreams

to take care of Mama...

-Oh, my God.
-You are conflating things again.

I don't remember.

I don't remember.

And you don't remember.

So this conflating
is what I have.

Okay, haven't you
had enough of that?

Come on, you are really drunk.

Mmm! I'm not drunk!

I'm not drunk!

I just want you to be nice!

[sobbing]

I just want you to be nice.

Wait, don't do that.

Okay, don't do that.

I'm sorry, come on.

Come on...

Ow! Don't touch me!

Okay, all right.

A little sip.

I told you I'm not drinking.

-Little tiny sip.
-Angela, I don't want...

-Just a little sip...
-I don't want.

-A little sip!
-Fine.

Okay, I'll take one little sip.

Okay, but just a little sip.

Do you want me to sip or not?

You just get so crazy.

Okay, go.

Mmm!

[Angela laughs]

Let's go swimming!

Angela, I told you
I don't have time.

Oh!

Oh, you don't have time?

Salvador, he doesn't have time.

No time for me.

You're so busy.

I do wonder if you have time

to talk to the police?

You wouldn't dare.

Okay, I've got
your stupid trunks on.

Come on.

Let's get this over with.

Bet you wanna jump out
and scare me first.

For whatever it's worth,
I'm very proud of you.

You're holding your boundaries.

And just so you know,

you can say no to her.

"No" is the most...

Are you ready

for the greatest night
of your life?

Why are you wearing that
on your head?

You are not the only one
who gets cameras, okay?

And this one,
and this one's waterproof.

It's cool.

[mock gasps]

[slurred humming]

-Okay, you know what?
-Hurry it up, please.

-Will you hurry it...
-Hey, this is my scene.

This is my scene!

You always get to be the star.

Stop interrupting me.

You want to know why
that is for?

I...

No, no, I don't.

Oh.

Well, well, well.

It looks like you remember
some things, don't you?

-What are you doing?
-Nothing.

-Don't push me in the pool.
-I'm not...

No, I'm serious,
because I have a camera.

-I have a camera!
-I have a camera too!

Angela, I'm serious.

I'm not gonna
push you in the pool!

[overlapping chatter]

-Don't look at my boobs.
-I'm not looking. I'm not...

-Don't look at my boobs.
-I'm not looking.

-Don't look at my boobs.
-I'm not looking.

-Don't look at my boobs.
-I'm not looking.

If you looked at my boobs,

you would remember that I have

the most beautiful boobs.

They're even prettier
than mommy's.

Don't you dare talk
about mommy's special...

You know she wasn't
your mother, right?

Why would you say that?

My God, you can believe
whatever you want.

-Don't say that.
-She was the like ninth

crazy woman that you convinced

was your mother, so what,
so you could...

-[makes kissing sounds]
-Stop it, stop it, stop it.

[laughs] I don't care.

You believe whatever you want.

I do it all the time,
like with you, right?

You're my brother,
you're my husband...

Stop! Stop it...

Give me my trunks.
Give 'em to me.

They're not your trunks,
they're my trunks, I bought 'em.

-Yeah, with my money.
-I know with our money,

because we're a family.

-Give them to me.
-Oh, you want them?

Come and get 'em...

No, I can't do that,
I can't come and get 'em

because then the boobs
are right there.

Are you not ready yet?

You know I'm not ready.

Okay, all right.

I tell you, you can have
these back, okay?

But you, you have to do

three laps around this pool,

yelling, "I love Angela and her
boobies more than mommy's."

You know, I could
just k*ll you right now.

I could just strangle
the life...

I've seen you naked.

You have not seen me naked.

I've seen you naked
so many times.

We used to play doctor.

-We never played doctor.
-You are...

-We played doctor.
-I used to sneak into your room

and you would give me catch-ups.

Catch-ups?

Yes, the follow up appointments,

you f*cking idiot.

[groans]
And you?

Oh, you're so cute.

I would take your little
thermometer and I'd put it...

Okay, I'll do the laps.

I love Angela and her boobies
more than mommy...

For the last lap,
you got to sing it.

-I'm not singing.
-You got to sing it.

I love Angela and her boobies
more than mommy.

[singsongy] Sing it.

[singsongy] I love Angela

and her boobies
more than mommy...

-Finish strong.
-Okay, okay.

I finished strong.
Now, can I have my trunks?

You know what, it was so fun,
I want you to do two more laps.

Two more?

Ooh, you better put
that fishing pole away,

you're gonna catch a mermaid!

You know, I forgot
how much I love swimming.

It's just what...

Is that the special
wedding blender?

Well, yes,
it's a very special night.

I thought it was
the perfect night

for her to pop her cherry.

So, to us...

But that's not all.
That's not all.

There's another thing.

Angela, that's too much.

-No, it's not too much.
-You just sit there.

Don't move. Don't move.

Don't move. Okay.

Look.

You remember?

Kind of?

It's our first movie.

We starred in it together.

Wait, when?

In high school, you remember?

We went to Major Video,

and we rented Lone Star
by John Sayles

and Night Eyes,
starring Tanya Roberts.

Both low budget masterpieces.

One a very dubious,

incestral sexual relationship.

And another...

A late-night Skinemax
masterclass in sexual tension

featuring surveillance
as a metaphor

for control,
desire, and obsession.

You said we should make a film

combining both
of those elephants.

Surveillance...

BOTH: And incest.

I remember, yes!

Yes, and we wrote
the script together.

Do you remember that?
It was about a woman

who was on house arrest,

and her captor who put
surveillance cameras

all around her house

because he did not want her
to get out,

but he didn't want
anyone else to get in.

Because if he couldn't have her,

no one could.

And do you know why?

Because he was
obsessed with her.

Yes, yes, yes, yes!

Isn't that just
the most romantic thing

you've ever heard
in your whole life?

So what do you say,
you wanna take

a little stroll
down memory lane?

I think we should.

Okay, here we go.

You're gonna love this.

It's amazing.

Okay.

I'm so excited.

Okay.

[VCR whirring]

Just wait for a second.

[whirring intensifies]

[loud clicking]

Wait, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no!
No, no, no, no!

[sobbing]

Let me see it...

-[loud sobbing]
-It's the only starring role

I've ever had in my whole life!

I can fix it.

-You can't fix this!
-It's ruined.

It's ruined,
the whole thing is ruined.

Okay, maybe it is ruined.

I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

What can I do?

I just think you should
drink some of this.

You want me to have a sippy?

Okay.

-[whimpering]
-Okay, what...

More? More? More?
Okay, okay.

More of that, please.

Oh, God, this is so sad.

-What else can I do?
-What else?

Okay, uh, well, I mean...

I was just thinking, you know,

because it's ruined and all,

there's one more thing
you could maybe do.

But I don't know.

I don't think
I could ever ask to.

-No, it's okay...
-You're so busy.

-I'm not that busy.
-What is...

You're so busy, but...

I think we remake
this movie tonight.

[ominous techno music]

♪

JOSEPH: Hello?

Ma'am?

Come in.

I hear you need a handyman

to put up some surveillance cams

so that no one comes in and out.

Oh, well,
you heard that correctly.

[music swells]

[music stops]
I forgot, what happens next?

She seduces him.

She takes his hand,

and she puts it on her...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, that fast?

Yeah.

I'm not ready for that.

-Why are you being so weird?
-We're married.

Yeah, we got married
in a ceremony

in the backyard in high school.

Yeah, so?

So it's...

It's not done.

Well, it's been done.

We did it a lot of times.

You just don't remember.

Come on.

The cameras are rolling.

Let's just...

Let me help you
get started, okay?

Here we go. Good.

Take your hand, nice and slow.

Take it, come here.

Oh, yeah.
Just like that.

You're going to just
take your hand,

put it right there.

[loud groan]

Oh, no!

Did you... cream your panties?

No!

I think you did.

I'm not wearing panties.

I'm so sorry.

I ruined our special night.

No, no, no.

You didn't ruin anything.

There's plenty more
where that came from.

Huh?

Well, I put some special

blue pills in your drink.

[laughing]

You drugged me?

Why are you being so judgy?

You drug people all the time.

That's a totally
different context.

Stop resisting me.

This is inevitable.

This is our destiny.

[loud groaning]

Oh, brother!

[doorbell rings]

-What was that?
-Oh.

It was probably the handyman.

You called an actual handyman?

N... no, I did.

Because you were right,
it was the toilet.

But you said you couldn't come.

I just said that!

I always come.

Yes, you do.

Yes, you do, good boy.
[doorbell rings]

You always come.
You come very quickly.

But it's okay. I'm just go...
I'll tell him to go away.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

-Yes? Yeah?
-What if...

What if you didn't
send him away?

-Okay.
-No, not like that.

I mean, what if... what if,

what if you found yourself
just a nice, regular handyman

and he could fulfill
all of your needs?

No!

No, I don't want
a nice handyman!

I want you, you f*cking idiot!

-You can't have me.
-[doorbell continues]

We can't do this anymore!

Fine!

You want me to find
a nice handyman

who's going to fulfill
all my needs?

Well, maybe I'll just do that.

[rapid doorbell ringing]

-Hi.
-Hi, um,

I hear your toilet's broken?

You heard that correctly.

Follow me.

JOSEPH: Okay, Mr. Handyman.

[door shuts]
Bit of a handyman myself.

There's a tool for every job.

[distant chatter]

ANGELA:
And I'm here by myself

all the time,

all alone.

HANDYMAN: I'm sorry.

My husband is so busy.

He told me to hire a handyman

to fill my needs.

All of them.

[indistinct]

Yeah. Yeah.

So what do you say?

Do you want handy, man?

-[tools clattering]
-Uh, yeah...

[chuckling]

-[light growling]
-Whoa.

[Joseph growls]

[splattering]

[Angela moaning]

[splattering]
[moaning]

[moans]

Oh, yeah!

Oh, I knew you still wanted me.

Well, of course
I still want you.

I just... I can't have you.

But why?

-I have to go.
-No!

No, don't you run out on me!

[panting] Okay, it's okay.

It's okay. Yep.

Boundaries. Boundaries.

Boundaries.

Angela, what are you doing?

You said it yourself.

If you can't have me,
no one can.

I never said that.

You said it in the movie.

What is that around your neck?

Is that the zapper for
the ankle monitor?

Where did you get that?

I got it out of your pants.

It's the only thing I got out
of your pants tonight.

Wait, wait, wait...

Cal... let's just
calm down, Angela, okay?

Everything's okay.

Let's not do anything stupid...

[zapping]

Angela! Angela!

No! Angela!

Angela, wake up.

Wake up.
Angela, come on, wake up.

Wake up.

[stirring]

Oh, thank God!

Thank God you're okay.

Oh, sweetheart.

What can I do? What can I do
to make you feel better?

Anything.

Anything at all.

[Angela giggles]

[eerie theme music]

♪