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01x02 - The Cat Show Must Go On

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Cat People". Aired: July 7, 2021.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


The six-part series follows the lives of six different individuals who have built their lives around their pets.

01x02 - The Cat Show Must Go On

Post by bunniefuu »

[woman] You guys wanna come out

to the catio?

[cat meows]

All right, guys, you ready?

It's not a trick. Come on.

Come on, guys.

[whistles] Everybody in, everybody in.

Come on. [kissing]

[whistling]

Come on, guys. [whistles]

Come on, guys. [whistles]

There you go!

- [whistling]

- [cats meowing]

Guys! [whistling]

[meows]

[gentle music playing]

You leading the way, Jax?

All right, guys, to the catio.

Come on, guys.

[whistling]

Guys!

[whistle blowing]

- [cat meows]

- Jax! Hey, Jax!

- [whistle blowing]

- Come on, guys! Everyone out here.

You got it! You're doing great, come on!

- Almost through!

- [cat meows]

My name is Samantha Martin,

and I am the chief executive human

and trainer

for The Amazing Acro-Cats.

[audience cheering and applauding]

They aren't perfect Russian circus cats

that do everything just like that.

They're cats and they're acting like cats,

and they really make people happy.

It's always been a win-win.

Either people are like, "Wow,"

or they're laughing.

[audience cheering]

They're the stars of the show,

and they're the stars of my life.

[cat purring]

[opening theme music playing]

When I first moved here,

I imagined something like this,

and this is like a dream come true.

[peaceful music playing]

I was living in Chicago, and I was

I was kind of ready for a change.

I really didn't need

the big city life anymore.

So, I-I moved to Georgia

about three years ago,

and this place,

it was really magical how I found it.

We were driving down the road,

I see a "For Sale" sign,

and we just drive up,

knock on the guy's door

and say, "Hey, can we see your house?

We noticed a 'For Sale' sign."

So, he showed us around,

and it was love at first sight.

It had everything I ever wanted

in a house.

I'm like,

"This would be perfect for the cats."

I've always loved the color purple.

Every chance I get

to paint something purple

And it seems to be

a really nice color for cats, too.

I think. [chuckles]

They love working,

they love being on the road,

and when they come home,

I like them to have a really magical,

relaxing, stimulating place,

because they're working cats,

but they're also my pets,

and they deserve the best.

The Acro-Cats got started around 2005.

I've loved animals my whole life,

and at that point,

I was working as a wildlife educator,

and I really wanted to train animals

for film and television.

It'd been my my lifelong dream.

There's so many dog trainers out there,

and cats are the second-most

requested animal for a movie set.

But they're notoriously difficult

to work with.

So, I thought I would focus on cats,

but I didn't really have a reputation

as a cat trainer,

and I didn't have a resume for my cats.

So, I was like,

"How can I get these cats out and about

and get them work?"

- [jazz music playing]

- I started with the band, actually.

I taught the cats to play piano,

and then I added a guitar and drums.

And people just loved it.

It just evolved very slowly and painfully.

Whenever I had something lined up,

I'd tell one of my friends, I'm like,

"Oh, I've got a show lined up

for Wednesday."

"You wanna be my assistant?"

And they're like, "Okay."

Because it was embarrassing!

[humorous music playing]

People started showing up in droves

to see these cats really not do much,

except for the band.

I went to the hardware store,

picked up some crude props,

a couple of ladders and a and a rope.

So, we found an art gallery

that was looking for entertainment.

And I said, "Hey, would you

Can I bring these cats?"

And and of course, it was a disaster

because the cats were distracted.

I've learned a lot about training cats

over the years.

Mainly through trial and error.

Mainly error.

I was just so focused on, like,

"What's going"

Like, "What's going on in these cats?"

"What are they thinking?"

And I started

to see improvements in the cats.

People think you can't train cats.

Like, that's ridiculous.

You can totally train cats.

Get a clicker and some treats

and just see what your cat can do.

So, then I-I started to find spaces

that I could bring a small troupe of cats.

About ten years ago,

I got a Myspace message

Yes, Myspace.

from a lady who I never met before,

and she said, "I am coming to your city."

"My friend recommended me to you,

and I wanted to know if you wanted

to work on the show with me?"

And it was a link for The Acro-Cats.

- [bell dinging]

- I was just like, "Yes, definitely yes."

And I said yes. And I had been

booking music in Austin, Texas,

where I lived for about, I guess,

five or six years at that time.

She came to Austin, brought the show.

We sold it out.

She immediately asked me,

"When are you gonna join the circus?"

So, I was like, "Ahh!"

But that's how it started. [laughing]

- [Samantha] Over here. [blowing whistle]

- [cats meowing]

Where are the where are the twins?

This is, uh, Roux, Buster,

and here's Ahi Tuna, Albacore Tuna.

Where's the other twin?

St. Claude.

Asti, Bowie, Wiki, Noah, Jax.

- Dixie. Dixie!

- [cat meowing]

[chuckles]

We had some shows set up

for this entire year,

you know, pre-March, and then COVID hit.

[somber music playing]

I mean, everything has gotten canceled.

[Samantha] I just gotta get these cats

at least out doing something

because they need it.

They really do.

They're bored.

I'm just gonna have to get creative,

I guess,

until we can get back on the road.

Oh, there she goes.

There's Ahi on the wheel. [chuckles]

She likes to get her cardio in.

Go, Ahi! Go, Ahi!

She likes it when you applaud.

Yes! Yay, Ahi!

Whoo!

[Polly] What we are doing this weekend

is doing a very special presentation

of our show in Atlanta, Georgia.

It's normally a large space,

but due to, um, the pandemic,

it's going to be

a super scaled-down version.

This is a new venue,

never been there before.

All sorts of new sights and smells

and, you know, it'll be interesting.

[Samantha] I feel very fortunate

that I'm living in Meowy Manor,

which is a paradise.

I get to hang out

with the cats in the catio

and and just

just relax for a little bit.

A little panicking

about the financial si situation.

- Are you guys bossy?

- [cats meowing]

Oh, you are bossy.

Wow, that's some cattitude there.

All right, guys, you ready?

I started making fostering

a regular thing,

and fostering and educating people

has really kind of become the mission.

I realized that I can actually

make a difference here.

So, I I started adopting out kittens

and taking more in,

and and now we're up to almost 270 cats

that I've found homes for.

[meowing]

These four kittens

were abandoned by their feral mom.

I have portable incubators

and all the equipment

to keep the little ones alive,

and I've been bottle-feeding for so long

that it's just second nature for me.

Yes, come here.

Yes! Oh, you got me, you got me.

You got me.

This is the cutest phase, I think,

when they're this age.

- They're just the perfect bundles of joy.

- [meowing and purring]

Listen to those little motors.

Normally, we find homes for them

while we're touring.

So, this is another problem:

not touring,

trying to raise foster kittens

and still give my own cats attention.

So, that's why some of the tricks

need a little work,

because I've been

uh, you know,

when they're under a week old,

you have to feed them

every three or four hours

and around the clock,

so that's exhausting.

Maybe one of you guys would be

the next skateboarding cat.

What do you guys think, huh?

[geese honking]

[gentle music playing]

[Samantha] When I actually started

booking things, I did all of the driving.

And then once Polly came on board,

she took it to the next level.

She recognized

that we needed a third person.

It's challenging to find people

that wanna live on a on a bus,

this far away from another human,

24/7, with 16 cats.

Charmaine has been with me

for quite quite some time.

She's an artist

and does all sorts

of amazing things herself

with music and fire

[Charmaine] I'll never forget

the first time the Cat Bus pulled up,

and it was Samantha Martin at the wheel

with the Big Tuna face on the front.

I just I was like, "I know this is it.

Like this is it."

I wanna work for the cat circus.

I left my old band to join a cat band.

[laughing]

I'm, uh, poaching some chicken breasts

for training time,

so it's got to be not overdone.

So, this is like the key part.

I'm trying to cook it quickly,

but if I if it's too dry,

then the cats are gonna be like,

"Ugh, it's the chicken's too dry."

"You gotta redo it."

They're very [chuckles]

They're very particular.

I mean, they get

Like I said,

I have peanut butter crackers for me,

and chicken and tuna for the cats.

He's really got movie-star looks,

but it does

[Polly] I mean, he's okay.

I mean, whatever.

- [Samantha] His fur is great.

- [Polly] You know, he's all right.

[Samantha] Bowie, you're just gonna sit

on that skateboard?

- Can I move it back and forth a little?

- [Polly] Who is this?

Um, all right,

so so it's three days till showtime?

[Polly] Yes.

And how long since we've had a show?

Since February and

[laughing] March, April, May, June, July.

Yeah, eight months.

Oh, we're doomed.

We're doomed. [chuckles]

I mean, it's gonna be great.

Ahi! [whistling]

Ahi, Ahi, right here. Ahi! [whistling]

- Ahi! [whistling]

- [meowing]

Ahi, this is your moment to shine.

He's like, "Yes, it is."

[whistling] Ahi! Ahi! [whistles]

- Ignore me completely. Ahi!

- [Ahi meowing]

Do you remember this, Jax?

What do you think, Jax?

Jax, Jax Jax.

Bowie, Bowie! Come here, Bowie!

Bowie!

Nue. Nue.

Right over here.

- [Polly] What are you talking about?

- Ready? Nue, right here.

- Nue!

- [Charmaine] Oh, hell no!

[laughing]

All right, ready? Ready, Jax?

- No cheating. No cheating, Jax.

- [Charmaine] Here, Jax.

[Samantha] Like, she'll do it, and

See? Look at that. This is cheating.

All right, Jax. Oh, that was a fail.

I'd say that was

that was a fail, Jax.

- All right. Go, Dixie! Go, Dixie!

- [meowing]

Dixie!

Yes! Dixie!

Dixie!

Dixie!

- [meowing]

- Come on, Dixie!

Okay, and double! [chuckling]

- And double!

- [Charmaine] Quite the double working.

All right, and [laughing]

Double on the mark, right?

[Samantha] Here you go.

Just one more time.

[Charmaine chuckles]

Bowie, come on, you got it. Yes!

You got it,

you're do you're doing it. Oh!

A little bit more! Come on, Bowie!

Take it slow, take it slow, take it slow.

Hello, Bowie.

Bowie, right right here. Right here.

You can do it, come on!

You really have got

to lose some weight, Bowie.

- This show's gonna be so great.

- It's gonna be amazing.

[Samantha] A really memorable show.

One that we talk about for the ages.

[Polly] By the way, 19 tickets.

- [Samantha] Oh, wow!

- [Polly] Right?

[cat meowing]

[pleasant music playing]

[meowing]

[Samantha] We toured

till the end of August last year.

I had been on the road since February,

and I wanted to take a nice, long break,

and I wanted to get the bus repaired.

So, this is our tour bus,

and it didn't used to look like this.

It used to look like this.

So, it had this beautiful wrap on it

that represented all of the cats.

[somber music playing]

We had trusted somebody

that said they were gonna fix our bus up.

I knew this person for four years,

and to find out that we got scammed

has just really set us back.

Our repair started in August,

and then, just

Things started to seem weird and slow.

I was getting radio silence.

Like, "What's going on?"

At this point, I'm I'm just gonna have

to take it to a professional

and and do this right.

So, we show up to collect our Cat Bus,

and we didn't even recognize it,

because the wrap had been taken off,

and the interior

was completely demolished.

And the bus before

We had this beautiful Kitten City setup.

Uh, this is Kitten City.

[on tablet] All right, here's Kitten City.

The top level

for the neonatal and the incubator.

Second level

from when they were a bit older.

No, no, no, no, no! Don't jump!

- It was magical.

- [Samantha screaming on tablet]

And now

it looks like this.

It was a one-piece unit

that could have easily been

just lifted out and taken out,

but instead,

it was just viciously demolished.

This is what we found back here.

Everything was just torn out.

Wood floor had been put down,

and a bedroom had been built.

I'm not sure

if he was taking it for himself

or going to flip it. [chuckles]

It's been an emotional year for me.

The nine months that I put in

after a year of cancer treatments,

busting my a*s for nine months

to make up for that year,

and having all that money taken

It was heartbreaking.

Samantha actually had cancer

two years ago,

right before COVID hit.

She had just recovered.

It was, like, cancer, and then the bus,

and then a couple

of the older cats passed.

It's just been

one after the other for her.

So, the struggle's been

really extra real right now for us.

[toy piano keys playing]

Yes, very nice. You can always count

on the keyboard player.

- [laughs]

- [meowing]

You're so good on the keyboards.

[toy piano keys playing]

Bowie, what do you think?

You wanna warm up a little bit

while we wait for St. Claude?

Hm?

You're amazing!

You can do it, come on! Come on!

You know.

- You got it!

- You gotta do the thing.

[Samantha] The band's a little rusty.

[chuckling]

Uh, but it's, uh it's coming together.

Gigging at the house,

just isn't as exciting,

as it is, you know,

gigging on the road.

But, uh,

they haven't had a gig in a while.

Bowie, the last couple of gigs, went out,

and, like, left the band

to go flirting in the audience,

so that's that was a problem.

Typical drummer.

Yeah, it's always the drummer.

Here, buddy. Hi! I missed you!

[Samantha] Debbie, one of my assistants,

who's a vet tech, which is

It's so fantastic

to have a vet tech on our team.

All the cats are going to get

pre-show vet exams,

and they'll be weighed in.

- 10.2.

- What?

- [Debra] Oh, no!

- [Samantha] Wow, you went up?

10.2 pounds.

What do you have to say for yourself?

[purring]

[gentle music playing]

Charmaine and I are going

to put decals on the bus

because the wrap

that was originally on the bus

had been ripped off.

So, I printed up cut decals

with some vinyl

so that I could put something on the bus,

so that people would know who we are

and what we're trying to do.

This is a very DIY project,

as is a lot

of Rock Cat's rescue endeavors.

A lot of times,

you pay somebody money to do this,

but because funds

are really tight right now,

we're gonna do it ourselves, you know,

'cause we're a little broke.

[laughing]

- [Charmaine] A little broke.

- [Polly] Yeah.

Yay, it's so nice.

It's so nice to have it

Something there, you know?

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Something there to be, like, "It's us."

- [Charmaine] Yeah.

- [Polly] "We're not gonna give up."

[both chuckling]

- "These cats matter."

- They do.

Yes, that's it for that.

[whistle blowing]

[meowing]

Here they come.

[chuckles] Asti's suspicious.

- [whistle blowing]

- [Polly] It's a trap.

[Samantha] All right, there you go.

In you go.

[grunts]

Our Roux.

- Okay, so then we needed St. Claude.

- [Debra] I have Nue.

[Samantha] Whoa! Nue, wow!

Nue, that was rude.

- [Debra] Yeah.

- [Samantha] Oh, Dixie!

- [Dixie meowing]

- Are you singing the Blues, Dixie?

- [Debra] Here!

- [Samantha] Feel like we have more cats.

They usually come running,

but the presence of males,

they're not used to guys around.

It's not like I have a lot

of gentlemen callers.

[all laughing]

No way. No way!

[Samantha] You'd think that they'd

be beating down the door

with all these cats that I have.

I mean, it's such a big turn-on,

a woman that has 24 cats.

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

[gentle music playing]

Samantha, we also need Cluck Norris.

- [Samantha] Oh, yes, Cluck Norris.

- Cluck Norris.

[Charmaine] The infamous Cluck Norris!

Cymbal and tambourine player

extraordinaire.

[chicken clucking]

Hey, the driver's not here yet.

So, we will not get there

at seven o'clock.

[Samantha] Come on, Universe!

Watch the guy not show up,

and I have to drive the bus.

- [meowing]

- Testing the meowy horn.

[horn making "meow" sounds]

[cats on horn] Meow meow meow meow

Meow meow meow meow ♪

Meow meow meow meow

Meow meow meow ♪

- [Debra] Come on! [laughing]

- Meow meow meow meow ♪

[Charmaine] Do you wanna snuggle?

- [meowing]

- Oh, yeah!

- [horn continues playing "meow"]

- [Debra gasps] That him?

- [Polly] I think so.

- [Debra] My God! He's really here?

[Polly] Yes.

[Samantha] Down, neutral,

reverse, drive.

Um, yeah,

I usually keep that down so that

Because, otherwise,

if a cat steps on that, you know

- And I'll go move the car so you can

- [driver] All right.

[engine turns over]

[Charmaine] That's that sound

that means we're gonna move!

[cat meows]

Follow that cat car! [chuckles]

[uplifting music playing]

[Charmaine] Setting up the previous night

gives us a chance to kind of, like,

triple-check everything.

It's so much less stressful

than setting up

and knowing you have to do a show,

like, right away, afterwards,

and having that, like, time crunch.

It's more stressful for for everybody

and for the cats, ultimately,

since they pick up

on what we're thinking and feeling.

So, something like this,

like, we can set up,

have it ready, know it's gonna be okay,

know what we need to do the next day,

and, uh, get a good night's sleep,

hopefully. [chuckles]

- We should have the audience sit there

- We could be here on the floor.

That's actually not a bad idea.

Just flip the whole thing on its head.

Are you seriously thinking that?

I mean, 'cause it's It's gonna be

We'll fall off I mean, there's not

[all laughing]

You know, the stage size is perfect,

if it was all

on the same level. [chuckles]

And then the band

I don't even know where the band would go.

Some Right, I'm not even sure.

- [man] Wait, there's there's a band?

- Yeah.

[man] Is it a band?

- A cat band, yeah.

- [man] Human beings playing

- No, the cats are playing.

- The cats play instruments?

- Okay.

- We have a whole band set up.

Where's the band gonna be set up?

So, how many band member members

are there in the cat band?

Well, used to be three members,

and then it was four with a cowbell.

Then we added a chicken,

cymbal, and tambourine.

- Does the band have its own band name?

- Yeah, The Rock uh, The Rock Cats.

- Like "Rockettes," but "Rock Cats"?

- Yeah, Rock Cats.

- So, Tuna and The Rock Cats.

- Gotcha.

Is there, like, a sexy girl singer

that fronts sometimes?

- [Polly] Samantha.

- [Samantha] Yes.

I have 24 minutes

until I turn into a pumpkin.

- [Samantha] We should probably load in.

- We should.

[Samantha] So who's all helping us load

and carry heavy things in?

Everything.

- Carry the heavy things in. Okay.

- [Polly] Let me find out who.

Who's ready to load in heavy stuff?

[all cheering]

Okay, cool. Let's do it.

- [Charmaine] It's gonna be fun!

- [woman] I'm in!

[Charmaine sighs]

[Polly] The touring has ended up

being vital in raising the money

to take care of these cats,

and it's pretty much all we have

right now. [laughing]

Feels like survival.

You have to make sure the lights stay on,

the cats are fed,

and they have their medications.

And everything can go on till tomorrow.

[Samantha] Yeah, there's a lot

of stress and

You know, everyone's anxious and

uh, I mean, they have Literally, it's

This is the longest they've ever gone

without doing a show, so

So, it should be

um

Should be interesting. [chuckles]

- Three of us stand around, drinkin'.

- Yeah.

[laughing]

- I have a minor panic attack.

- I already did one.

Yeah, we're early. We need our pep talk.

I was like, you know

Doing my little

You know, last-minute arm.

- [Debra] Nice pants!

- Yeah.

- Are you guys ready for the show?

- No.

Which one is this? This one? This one?

Which one do you

Use sparkles.

Well, there's this more sparkly one.

- Oh, this is super sparkly.

- I love you.

- Oh, my goodness!

- So, I just have to tape these on.

This will hide the fact I wasn't

Just didn't get my arm exercises in.

You know, I brought my It was like

I brought my weights in.

[Charmaine] Mm-hmm.

- Okay, I will see you backstage.

- May maybe.

- I will see you backstage. [laughing]

- Maybe I'll show up.

- Can't make any promises. All right.

- Don't make me cry, Samantha.

All right, the cats are gonna do fine.

The cats are gonna do fine.

[audience applauding]

We are almost ready.

We thank you so much for your patience,

but we will be starting the show

as soon as "paw-sible."

- [humorous music playing]

- [audience laughing]

[Samantha] I did not realize

that we were not really ready yet.

[Charmaine] Is anyone selling cat ears?

- [man] Do you need anything?

- [Charmaine] Ah, a shot of vodka.

[Debra laughing]

All right, and in just a moment,

we will be bringing out The Acro-Cats!

- [audience cheering and applauding]

- [jazz music playing]

Pull it together!

- Yes, yes! Yes!

- [bell jingles]

[audience applauding]

[Samantha] Always important to stretch.

Come on, Tuna, over the hurdle!

You can do this!

Come on. Yes!

[Debra] Whoo! Go, Tuna!

He drives a hard bargain.

All right, a little stretch first.

- [cat meows]

- [audience applauding]

[audience "aw" s, cheering]

Ahi!

Dixie!

Come on, Dixie! Come on, Dixie!

You're amazing!

- [audience cheering]

- [bell jingles]

[woman] Whoo!

All right.

[cheering continues]

- [meows]

- [cheering]

[Samantha] Don't cross that center line,

because if you do, it's a foul.

Yay!

[cheering and applauding continue]

[Samantha] Come on,

don't let the chicken win.

- Yes!

- Yay, Tuna!

[audience applauding]

- The Acro-Cats!

- [audience cheering and applauding]

All right, and in just a moment,

we are going to have the band play.

The Rock Cats!

[audience cheering]

[rock music playing]

[chicken clucking]

[cowbell dinging]

[Samantha] And Tuna on cowbell,

because every song needs more cowbell.

Thank you so much for showing up tonight,

for the first show

that we have had since February.

Thank you so much.

I hope you enjoyed the show.

[audience cheering and applauding]

[uplifting music playing]

- To The Acro-Cats, huh?

- To The Acro-Cats!

- Cheers!

- Cheers!

- [cat meows]

- [Samantha] Well, the cats keep me going.

It's been one calamity after another,

after another.

Literally so many setbacks.

And the fact that the fans have come

to our rescue so many times

I can't fail these cats.

I mean, they're They need me.

I can't I can't

Quitting is not an option.

Fail? I mean, I've swam, literally,

right out in the middle of the ocean.

It's just as far to swim back

as it is to keep going.

[chuckles] So

So, I'm gonna keep going.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

[uplifting music continues]

[closing theme music playing]