02x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

This programme contains
some strong language

JOSH GROANS

f*ck.

Morning. What you doing
up? It's a Saturday.

I've got work. Also I think the
sofa did something to my neck.

Lars does a great massage.
I'm sure he'd be up for it.

Ah, um... I think
it's probably OK.

Do you think... do you think
you'll carry on with the teaching?

I've just got back, mate.
Give a girl a break.

Right. Fair enough. Now
you're back, I'd, um...

I'd love to have a
conversation at some point.

Oh, no, we're fine
on the sofa, tbh.

We just didn't know you
were coming back last night.

No, I mean more, really...

..where we left things.
How we left things, really.

Nothing to talk
about. It's all good.

You're fine on the
sofa, right, babe?

Oh, definitely! Looks
like a great one.

Oh! OK, um...

I can't quite think of a
delicate way to say this.

Say what? I'm saying
it. Maybe you could...

..wash the sheets? Why?

Oh, I think he means because
of the sex juices, babe. Oh...

It's OK. Also, do you
have any carpet shampoo?

I should go. Oh, shame.

Looks like just the two of
us now. Right. Yeah. Sweet.

Maybe we should go out. Yeah.

Have you ever been to
a recording studio?

No, sorry. Got to go, bye!

DOOR SLAMS

Hmm...

DOORBELL RINGS

Tiwa! Can I stay here for a
bit? I've kinda been kicked out.

I mean, what was I meant to do,
not get hammered on my birthday?

Well... And it's not like I
didn't try and clean it up.

Like, I cleaned it up, but I
sort of just rubbed it in more.

That's probably...
Even if I did know

it was some f*cking
family heirloom,

it's not like I chose to
puke on it. Fair, yeah. So...

She'll cool down in a couple
of days. A week at most.

A week? f*cking posh
people own property.

No offence. So,
er, where's Josh?

♪ Your love is only dust

♪ Your love is only

♪ Your love is only dust. ♪

I think that might
be the one, Zephyr.

Shall we do another 40
takes, just to be sure?

I'm not the one
producing this, you are.

I'm just here to press record.
Someone's Mr Grumpy today.

I'm not Mr Grumpy, I'm fine.

You don't sound fine, Mr Grumpy.

Did Fola dump you? No!

But I did sort of accidentally ask
her to move in with me last night.

After how long? Well,
nearly six months!

Minus a few. Well, technically,
three months. Zero chill.

We met her sister, and she
introduced me as her friend.

She knows you were,
like, going out, right?

This isn't something where
you've been watching her through

the window and making dolls
out of her hair and stuff?

He could be the type, actually. No,
I couldn't! Stop ganging up on me!

She probably just wants to keep
things casual. Like, don't rush it.

Casual? Like,
seeing other people.

Seeing other people? You know.
At the start of a relationship.

Isn't the start of a relationship
when you stop seeing other people?

No, that's when
you're exclusive.

Have you talked about
going exclusive? No...

Shouldn't you have, like,
more life experience by now?

I have experience from being in
one relationship for my entire

adult life. I don't know
how to start new ones.

He's a millennial,
though, isn't he?

It's a generation gap thing,
like TikTok or Harry Potter.

I know what Harry Potter
is. I actually read them

when they came out. Yeah,
that's what I'm saying.

You probably do those
quizzes and stuff.

"Oh, no, I'm a Hubblepuff!"

THEY LAUGH Hufflepuff.

And actually, I'm a
Gryffindor. Are you, though?

That's how you give her space,
then. Go on dates with other people.

But I don't like other
people. I like Fola.

It's not about liking other people.
It's about keeping it casual.

Give me your phone.

Zephyr, I... I'm flattered...

Not me, doofus. I can't begin
to tell you how g*y I am.

Picture uploading and congrats!

You now have a dating profile.

Look, I'm sure this is...

..very kind of you, but
I'm not going to do that.

It might help you relax a bit.

It might make stuff work better
with your main girl, you know?

Just see how you feel when
the messages start pouring in,

and I'm sure they
will. PHONE VIBRATES

Oh! See?

It's just a text from
Domino's, actually.

It's one minute away.

So, have you had time
to consider our offer?

Yes, it's so
exciting. Thank you.

It's huge. Mm.

New York, Nat Geo
Traveller. Mm-hm.

And, um, I'm hungry
for it, you know?

I sensed that. It
is a lot, though.

New York's a long way from home.

Er, yeah, no, it is...

It is a big move, even
if it is short-term.

But I promise I'll let you
know first thing Monday.

Oh, first thing your
time, not, like, 4am.

That's when I start my
day. Oh, well, great.

Well, I'll speak to you then.

Thank you. Speak to you
then. Thank you. All right.

Bye-bye. Bye.

Hi, there.

Hi.

You must be Zack the lodger.

And you must be... Claire.

Claire the neighbour?

Whose neighbour?
Monica and Eddie's.

Oh, right.

Er, no, I'm a friend.

I left my headphones
here the other day,

I was just coming to pick
them up. That's the worst.

Yeah, those little white f*ck
basically jump out of my pocket.

That's why I've
got these big guys.

It's like walking around
with a ball and chain.

Yeah, I can see that.
They are massive.

I feel like they'd
squash my head.

Can I try them on?

Yeah, of course.

Um...

Mm. Sounds interesting.

Oh, it is. It's about AI.

Yeah, too much for me, I think.

The headphones, not AI.

Probably AI too, actually.

Thanks, though.

Here you are, love.

Oh, I see you two have met.

We have.

You wouldn't think he would fit in
that little box room, would you?

Oh, I don't know. You could be
a contortionist or something.

I definitely am not.

I should head.

Um, thanks for these, Monica.

And, um, nice to meet
you, Zack the lodger.

Nice to meet you
too, Claire the...

Claire.

DOOR CLOSES

She's nice.

Oh, she's very nice.
She's like you, you know.

Like me? She... Oh, she lived
here? No, she likes to watch.

We met her online too.

Oh, wow.

I've got an idea. Maybe
you should ask her out.

I believe she's unattached.

It's so hard to find people
who share your interests.

I'm, er...

That's very kind of you, but
this is a temporary situation.

I'm going to get Fola back.

Aren't you off home to
divide up your stuff? Yes.

Yeah, I'm still
working on a plan.

Best be quick about it, then.

♪ An old flame used to show me

♪ Fire don't have to burn

♪ He said, "Baby,
don't you worry"

♪ Don't you worry

♪ There's only more to learn

♪ Every laugh, every
touch, every kiss

♪ Can haunt me at times... ♪

LARS: It's amazing. The
supermarkets are so different here,

but somehow still
the same, you know?

Esther!

Zack!

Just getting some boxes.

Cool! Oh, we just wanted
to get out the house.

Be around other people,
you know. Connect.

And also get crisps!

Yeah. Um, Zack, this
is my boyfriend, Lars.

Lars, this is Zack.

LARS GREETS HIM

Thank you... Er,
I'm her neighbour.

Was. Yeah, I'm sorry.

I heard. Or I figured.

Have you got a place
of your own now?

Or, like, a hotel? Er, no...

Oh, sorry, I don't mean
like a sad divorce hotel,

I mean like a, like a cool hotel,
with a, with a bar or something...

Oh, we're not divorced yet.

Who knows how real this whole
Josh thing is, you know?

Right, yeah.

Did I mention that
Lars is my boyfriend?

You did.

Love of my life, really.

Probably.

Probs, yeah.

Could be, yeah.

Don't do that.

Well, that's great.

Um, well, we'll leave
you to your boxes.

Sure thing. See ya.

So it's him who liked to watch
his wife have sex with Josh?

Sh! Use your inside voice.

Don't look!

I had no idea.

I just thought you'd finally
found the stick up Zack's bum

and got outta there. He
doesn't have a stick up his...

I mean, I'm not
judging, I'm not,

but I always thought there
was something up with him.

Well, famously, you tried to
talk me out of marrying him.

Well, famously, he
made you boring.

He did not. I'm not, I
never have been boring.

So, what, your problem with Josh
is that you don't want to go

straight into another thing? I
don't want to discuss it with you.

Yeah, you do. No,
I really don't.

OK, the thing is... There
we go. After everything,

I guess I want to start with
a clean slate, you know?

Take it slowly. But Josh, he
was with his previous partner

since school, basically.
Oh, sh*t, one of those?

So he's slipping straight
back into relationship mode

and I can feel myself going
along with it sometimes.

I was going to be throwing him

a surprise birthday dinner
tomorrow, but like...

..I'm trying to get him
to give me some space,

but is that sending
out a mixed signal?

Well, it doesn't
have to be sh*t.

I didn't say it was
going to be sh*t.

Sure, but it doesn't have
to be a boring dinner party.

Leave it with me. I'll make it fun.
You're not invited. Well, I am now.

I knew I shouldn't
have said anything.

What sort of things
does he like?

I mean...

..music. Everyone likes music.

He's a man in his
30s. I don't know.

Formula 1, Christopher
Nolan, Scandi crime dramas.

I'm sure you can
figure it out. Hmm.

PHONE VIBRATES

See?

Oh, yeah, that's a bit much,
innit? Mm! Can I read up?

No, give it back.

PHONE VIBRATES

Huh.

THEY LAUGH

♪ Ooh, watch out

♪ You might get
what you're after

♪ Cool, babies

♪ Strange, but not a stranger

♪ I'm an ordinary guy

♪ Burning down the house

♪ Hold tight

♪ Wait till the party's over

♪ Hold tight

♪ We're in for nasty weather

♪ And there has got to be a way

♪ Burning down the house

♪ Well, here's your
ticket, pack your bags

♪ Time for jumpin' overboard

♪ Transportation is here

♪ Close enough, but not too far

♪ Maybe you know where you are

♪ Burning down the house. ♪