01x03 - The Right Way to Clear a Tower!

[bunniefuu]

What?

The Demon Lord's army retreated?

We were losing!

Are you sure it's not a trick

of those cunning demons?

The watchmen said their army

withdrew entirely during the night.

What's going on?

Their goal is to gain our territory.

Why would they retreat without

accomplishing their objective?

It's thanks to me--Agent Six.

How rude!

You're in the presence of the king!

Who are you?

You don't even know the face

of the army's strategist?

Nope.

You wild dog

If you want to talk to

the Princess, do it later.

I've heard about you

Your unit is nothing but women

and children with lowly blood.

And those women and children set fire

to all the Demon Lord's

supply trains, old man.

What meaning is there

in attacking supply trains?

No matter how strong they are,

they're dead without food and water.

They could try to attack anyway,

but the risk is too high.

You owe me, Agent Six, a lot. Old man.

It's hard when your own

army's filled with morons.

Thanks to you, we are saved.

Wonderful!

Now we just have to wait for the Chosen

One to save us, as the legends foretold.

Chosen One?

Yes, according to ancient

legends in our country,

when the Demon Lord's army

threatens mankind,

a crest will appear on

the hand of the Chosen One,

and they will gain power.

After endless trials, they will

eventually defeat the Demon Lord.

So I'm the Chosen One, huh?

Agent Six, that's

I found this on my hand when I woke up.

I had no idea it was the sign of a hero!

Spakoguvichula.

What?

That's a Spakoguvichula.

That's funny. Say it again.

It's a deadly insect whose

poison kills instantly!

Seriously?

I'm not dead, though

Thanks to that, huh?

I'll probably be fine.

I'm pretty tough.

Anyway, the Chosen One is me, right?

Um

The crest has already appeared on the hand

of my brother, the kingdom's prince

"Episode 3:

The Right Way to Clear a Tower!"

Help me, Commander!

Alice is really mean!

How'd it go, Six?

I cursed at some old man calling

himself a "strategist" until he cried.

Good.

So, what are you doing?

Well, she absorbs the

characteristics, that is,

the genetic information,

of anything she eats, right?

So that's where this grasshopper comes in.

If she eats it, she should

become almost invincible.

There are lots of stronger

monsters out there, right?

I can't eat bugs!

Six, grab her for me.

Roger.

You're so mean, Commander!

I can't trust anyone now!

My grandfather was right: humanity

is foolish and must be annihilated.

Don't worry, grasshoppers are amazing.

In my organization, making

grasshopper mutants was taboo.

That's right.

Now, just eat it.

If you eat it all, I'll give you

something good.

No!

But what do you mean "good"?

Something yummy?

If it's yummy, I might reconsider

It's called silicone.

If you eat it, I think your

breasts will get bigger.

That's wonderful!

Let's have Rose gulp it down

and make her breasts really big!

I don't need that!

I'm happy with their current size!

If you try to force me to drink it,

I'll use my Crimson Breath on you!

You're pretty strong, so why do you

let the army boss you around?

There are other jobs you could do

that would pay more.

To learn who I am.

I was found in a certain ruin.

I was sleeping surrounded

by artifacts, supposedly.

Supposedly?

I don't really have many

of my old memories.

All I remember is the old man who made me.

He was researching a certain stone.

He said that it was a stone of miracles--

that it could do anything!

But he died after

attempting forbidden magic.

I want to obey his last words

and make his dream come true!

But I don't know anything about

his research or even myself.

They promised that if I helped them,

they'd share with me the research

they'd done on the ruins.

This country's filled with shitheads.

Hey, let's have Rose work for us.

She already looks like a mutant.

If we can just change the way

she thinks about things,

she'd make a great combat agent.

Rose, from today on,

you can officially be one of us!

Wasn't I already part of the unit?

You're still a child. You need

proper ideological education.

From now on, you can

look up to me as a mother.

You're younger than me.

"Kisaragi"

What is this badge?

"Kisaragi"

Now you're an apprentice agent!

And as an apprentice,

you have to do what I say!

No! You two look like

you're planning something.

Congratulations!

Why are you clapping?

And what are you doing with your hands?

I'm not eating the silicone

or the grasshopper!

I heard the applause from the crowd

That's right, I'm getting married!

I'm not a loser anymore

This doesn't make sense.

What is it?

Something bothering you about how

the Demon Lord's army acted?

No, something bigger.

Listen, Alice.

We've been here for a while, right?

So why

Why isn't anybody falling in love with me?

I saved the country!

And my unit is filled with women!

And also, I've met girls

like Tillis and Heine,

and even that police girl

with the boyfriend!

Why?

Why haven't I had

a single fanservice event?

Like bumping into a girl at a corner

and feeling up her boobs,

or bumping into a girl at a corner

and seeing what's inside her skirt!

I spend hours every day crouching in wait

at the corner, and it's not working!

They told me to tell you to stop that.

You're in the way.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Lucky you. You got to touch

a pretty girl's breasts.

What's fun about fondling

a robot's silicone!

And that's not it, anyway.

Of course, I want to have some fun.

Like having a really sexy girl

come on to me--

Why are you screaming about sexy girls?

W-We're having a mission briefing.

Six, join in!

Thank you for coming, everyone.

I have bad news about

the Chosen One's party.

The demons on the top floor

of Duster Tower,

Rista of Knowledge and Gil of Power,

have defeated them,

and they were injured.

Fortunately, the Chosen One's wounds

were not fatal.

But we don't have much time.

Thanks to Agent Six, we were able

to push back the foe last time.

But they'll be back.

Unfortunately, they're stronger than us.

If the w*r drags on,

they'll destroy us before the Chosen One

can defeat the Demon Lord.

The Chosen One says that

Duster Tower contains a treasure

needed to defeat the Demon Lord.

But there's no time to wait

for his recovery.

So we're going to attack Duster Tower

and get it for ourselves.

Wait, General! So, do you have some

plan to help us get the treasure,

when the Chosen One failed?

Well

The tower is hollow inside,

with a spiral staircase going up it.

So then

We'll have to attack en masse,

going up a little at a time.

Do you have any good strategies?

I know! Maybe Agent Six has a plan!

After all, he spent all that time calling

us idiots for losing the last battle.

Do you have a plan?

Let's set fire to it.

Fire? But the tower's made of stone.

We can't burn it.

No, we take the first floor. And then

we set a campfire in the middle of it.

We'll turn them all into smoked meats!

Well, it's effective, but

What do you all think?

Um

Is that okay, for a knight to do that?

N-No.

I appreciate the plan, but no.

We attack Duster Tower

in force tomorrow morning!

So we're sitting here

and relaxing till evening.

What are you saying?

The battle's already started!

Even the Chosen One couldn't

defeat the demons at the top--

Rista of Knowledge and Gil of Power!

If we beat them, we'll be famous!

Listen. The Chosen One's strong, right?

Of course. Even one of the Elite Four

would be no match for him.

And you're going to fight

the guys who beat him head-on?

Not me. I'm too scared.

If they haven't taken it by evening

when Grimm wakes up,

we'll come up with a plan.

Why you

I thought that in battle, at least,

you could be counted on a little.

But you're a coward!

I'll go myself!

And you can't share in the glory!

Um, Snow's going off alone. Is that okay?

She's strong. She'll be fine.

Eventually she'll come back

when she gets tired.

Snow!

It's evening, Six!

Is Grimm not awake?

The way she's moaning

in her sleep is really funny,

so we've all been watching her.

Snow Snow says to the commander,

"Do whatever you want with my breasts!"

She begs him to--

Wake up, Grimm!

If you have any more

weird dreams, I'll k*ll you!

I had this wonderful prophetic dream

Forget it. I'll k*ll you here.

Don't put her back to sleep

when she just got up.

Anyway, Alice, think it'll work?

Yeah, we'll be fine.

Take off your heavy armor.

What are you planning?

You want to get to

the top of the tower, right?

How far up did you get?

Halfway up, I think.

Yeah, this'll work.

Take this, Agent Six.

What is that tool?

No, wait

Okay, let's go!

Advance! The enemy's getting tired!

Who'd be dumb enough to try

and take this from the inside?

It'd take forever.

Push on! Get the wounded back!

With all that noise, they won't notice us.

Is is it okay to take

the tower like this?

They're way too relaxed.

Hey, it'll be really bad

if you fall from up here.

Be careful.

Okay, Commander!

I'm fine.

But why aren't you below me?

I went out of my way to wear a skirt.

You've got a lot more energy at night,

Mutant Mistress Thong-Thong.

Don't call me that!

Hey, hey, Six!

What? Don't tell me you need

to go to the bathroom.

No, it's not that

I swung my sword so much this afternoon

I'm running out of strength.

What do I do?

My arms are shaking.

You idiot!

If you fall from up here, you're dead!

And if you fall, you'll take

the others with you!

I know!

So I want to know what to do!

Th-Thanks

This'll work.

Hey, grab me tighter

so there's less wind resistance.

O-Okay. Like this?

This is the event I was waiting for!

Thank you so much!

At a time like this?

You really are human scum!

Shut up!

Big t*ts are all you have going for you!

I'm giving you a chance to use them.

You should be grateful!

Did you forget how I told you

to watch your back?

Hey, don't draw your sword here!

Stop messing around and go.

We're almost to the top, right?

They're not taking this seriously.

Who cares? Without the Chosen One,

the humans can't get up here.

That's right, bro.

We defeated the Chosen One.

The Demon Lord will be around to talk

about promoting us soon, right?

Yeah. We're probably even stronger

than the Elite Four, right?

Hey, what are you doing, Six?

Once we defeat the ones below,

we'll be even more famous!

That's right!

Someday the whole world

will know the names of Gil of

Strength and Rista of Know--

Rista! Rista!

H-Help me!

Just wait! I'm coming!

Who are you?

It didn't work, huh? Alice!

I could just sh**t him down,

but b*ll*ts cost money.

If we just keep throwing rocks at him,

he'll fall eventually, right?

Good point.

Stop! Stop it!

I won't let you hurt Rista!

I'll protect my brother!

Th-This is rough

Hey Six, is this ethically okay?

I'm starting to feel sympathy.

Everybody, grab a rock!

Okay!

If he attacks us, the rest of you throw

your rocks at the one below!

Well done, Agent Six.

This is the perfect strategy

for a Kisaragi Employee.

And by saying it so the enemy can hear it,

you're stopping them from attacking us.

Th-That's right.

I wonder what will happen to your

partner if you take another step?

Okay, guys, hit them

with a long-range attack!

Damn it-- Argh!

You earned evil points!

Gil! Are you okay?

Nope, he's really not.

He's alive, though.

You'll pay for this, cowards!

I'll k*ll you all!

Wait, did you not hear me?

I said he's alive.

Your partner's right here

just barely alive.

If you hurry up and get him medical

treatment, he might survive.

So, I have a question.

How much will you pay

to buy your partner?

You earned evil points!

Hey, Six, you in there?

If you're looking for the kind,

noble-hearted Agent Six,

he went to pick up garbage

by the riverside.

Don't be ridiculous. You're right here.

What are you doing here? Coming to

a man's room in the middle of the night

Are you coming on to me, boob-woman?

Don't call me that!

What if somebody heard it and it stuck!

Hey, boob-woman.

Should I leave so you two

can have your fun?

You, too, Alice?

What is this?

Your pay.

It includes the bonus you got

for your actions the other day.

I still can't accept what you did

How you went up the tower or how

you kicked its boss over the ledge.

And what I really can't accept is that

you made a deal with the demons.

Yes, we got the treasure without

any more casualties, but

Why aren't you talking?

Hey, Snow.

How much is this gold

worth in this country?

You don't even remember

what money's worth?

That's enough for one family to

live in luxury for a single year.

Seriously?

You're not satisfied with the amount?

I know the feeling. I'm pretty picky

when it comes to money.

--Alice, I'm quitting being a spy

and living here until the day I die.

--What?

--Alice, I'm quitting being a spy

and living here until the day I die.

"This is what Japanese

sounds like to Snow."

It's that weird talking again

Wait, don't be hasty!

If you said that in Japanese

it means you're serious!

Listen, I spent a month fighting

in the damn Sahara Desert,

and when I got back

I didn't get a single word of thanks

and got sent on errands instead,

and my take-home pay

was only 180,000 yen!

I'm actually curious

why you didn't quit sooner.

What's wrong, you two?

You're using weird words again.

Don't worry about it.

Six just got excited and is speaking

in his old language again.

He didn't expect to get this much money.

I see.

Okay, then.

This is yours.

Okay.

Thanks.

The last time somebody gave me

something was that shotgun.

The shotgun wasn't a present

Well, I guess it's okay.

His first payment was worth

several million yen?

"Next time:

Episode 4: How to Defeat an Evil Leader"

W-Well, it just shows how

much he's respected over there.

"Next time:

Episode 4: How to Defeat an Evil Leader"

It's great to see his spy

activities are going well.

How much are we paying him again?

This concluded the report

of the man who was

paid in gold worth several

million yen, Agent Six.

"P.S. I am also asking for a pay raise."

Let's send him some good meat

or something soon.