01x01 - Lucky

[bunniefuu]

Strong as he can be ♪

Strong as he can be ♪

Benny, stop. Why are

we watching him swing

in his underwear

over and over again?

This sleepover sucks.

Can we do something else?

Yeah, duh. I don't wanna

watch this stupid movie.

Coming up next in the

countdown: Britney Spears with "Lucky."

This is a story about

a girl named Lucky.

Early morning ♪

She wakes up ♪

Knock, knock, knock ♪

- I'm up.

- That's my perfect boy.

It's time for makeup ♪

Hey, what's up, everybody?

I'm Benny. Um, I love p*ssy.

It's you they're

all waiting for ♪

They go isn't she lovely?

This Hollywood girl? ♪

Benny. B Benny.

Benny. I'm Benny. Benny.

Hey, freshman. Hook it in.

Downstairs in ten.

Yeah.

Cries in her lonely

heart, thinking ♪

If there's nothing

missing in my life ♪

Then why do these

tears come at night? ♪

Lost in an image ♪

Here we are.

In a dream but there's no

one there to wake her up ♪

Bye, Mom and Dad.

And the world is spinning

and she keeps on winning ♪

But tell me what

happens when it stops? ♪

Sorry about last

night. Fell asleep.

Have fun at college.

They go isn't she lovely? ♪

- Hailee? I just got to the dorm.

- Roomie!

I don't think I see you, but you did look

different in every photo you sent me.

Carm, I'm in sort of, like,

a pink little crop moment.

- I think I see you.

- Really?

- Are you Latinx?

- Uh, Latinx?

Roomie-a*s b*tch!

Oh, my God. I love you.

She's so lucky ♪

Where are your parents? I wanna meet them.

I'm good with parents, I swear to God.

- Not mine but everyone else's.

- Oh. My parents, they, uh

they were crying so hard

and it was so embarrassing

so I was like,

"Scram."

f*ck.

I just sent my loser stepdad to go get

us another beanbag chair at Tarjay,

so now I hoped yours could

help me carry my vanity.

Our vanity.

I begged my mom, and she finally caved

and got us a GRÅFJÄLLET.

Okay, great.

Hey. Oh. Hey, papa bear. Hi.

Would you actually mind

carrying that to our room?

I'm just really exhausted carrying

these t*ts around.

There's the

last of it.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh. Benny, there's your sister.

Grace must have dropped 20.

And you thought her spending all

summer with Peter was a bad idea.

- No, I didn't.

- Sh-She looks like a different person.

- I didn't.

- Wow.

- Hey! Frisbee! Hit me!

- All right, watch out!

Sorry!

Nut sack.

- Are you okay?

- I'm good.

- Hi, Mom.

- You look fantastic, honey.

- Hi.

- Hey.

A million f*cking colleges

and you have to choose mine.

You know Dad made me.

Only 'cause you've never

made a choice of your own.

Mr. S, I don't know if

Grace mentioned it, but, uh,

for most of the summer I was

interning with Hawksworth Financial.

You know, Ben's gonna be

a business major as well.

Ah, smart man, Bento.

- Thanks. I I love business.

- He loves business.

I'm sad I didn't get

to meet your roommate.

His intro email said he rows crew

so, probably has crazy hours.

Yeah, I think that's it.

Oh, Mom, it's okay.

- Who will I be when you go?

- You'll be okay, Mom.

Sorry.

Okay.

Awesome. Yeah.

- Bye, Mom.

- I love you.

I love you too.

Oh, my God. She's still there.

I've seen that movie 500 times.

Okay, fine, I've seen it

I've never seen it.

Yo.

Oh, sh*t.

- sh*t. Sorry, dude.

- Oh, no. It's all cool.

- Had some stank on it.

- Ah, thanks, man.

Nice lettuce. Damn.

For real.

I'm looking for orientation.

Oh, dog. We got a freshman.

Yeah, tight.

Uh, do you guys know

where Conrad Quad is?

Oh, nah, dog. We don't do class.

Oh, sh*t. Yo, yo. It's

a girl.

- Hey.

- Hi.

Can you film me?

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

- You likey?

- Yeah. Yeah, I likey.

Um, do you know

where Conrad Quad is?

Oh. No, I don't go here.

Gays would know.

Bro, she wants you.

Hi.

- You can at least say hi.

- Sup, dude.

- Do you want a free condom?

- Oh, yeah, yo, take one.

You're gonna need one later tonight

when you hookup with freshman baddie.

- Come on.

- Oh.

Totally.

It's gonna be really

fun for you, bruh.

Okay, well, Conrad Quad

is through the tunnel,

past the climate

change protest so

Bye.

Hi. Are you g*y?

Welcome, freshmen group seven.

I'm Kevin and I'm your new

student orientation leader.

And I am co-leader Courtney.

Okay. And, um, that's Michelle.

You might recognize us from the

school's diversity brochure,

diversity website and

Diversity in Action panel.

And this is the extent

of that diversity.

- Okay, Michelle, let's not be a downer.

- This school doesn't have any ramps.

- Hey, Courtney.

- Yeah?

Show us how you N.S.O. My hands

are high, my hands are low.

And this is how I

N.S.O.

Oh, what?

Whoo!

- What?

- Thank you.

- Okay.

- Now, everyone, stand up.

Show us how you N.S.O.

Come on, guys. We can

do it. We can do it.

Her hands

are high, her hands are low.

And this is how she N.S.Os.

- And then we dab it.

- Dab it.

- Nice. Nice.

- Okay, good dab. Good dab.

That was so fun.

Welcome to college, where

you can have a fresh start.

And you can be whoever

you wanna be here.

Can you?

Okay. Let's

Let's tell the person next

to you who we wanna be here.

Hmm? Me?

- I wanna be a TEDx speaker.

- Oh.

I wanna be a DJ.

I'm Amanda Knox's cousin.

Is that who you wanna

be or just who you are?

No. She was

innocent. It was a

It was a f*cking

witch hunt, really.

- It was an Italian detective

- Who do you wanna be?

Are you kidding me?

Um.

I played football in high

school, so maybe, you know,

- something sports re

- Okay. Let me guess. Homecoming king?

No.

f*ck yeah, Benny!

- Yes, but it was close. I had to campaign.

- Mmm.

Valedictorian?

And I, for one, can't wait to be there.

Thank you.

- Technically.

- Dated cheerleaders?

Okay. Well, uh, since you know my

whole life story, who do you wanna be?

I don't know.

It's a dumb question.

Okay, but is it a dumb question?

Or are we just dumb for

not having an answer?

Both?

- Where you from?

- New York.

- Like Manhattan?

- No, like, right outside the city.

- Brooklyn?

- Right outside that.

- Queens?

- I'm from Jersey.

Sick.

No one has ever said sick

when they heard Jersey.

Where are you from?

Idaho.

People

are from there?

Yes.

Do you have any, like,

movie theaters there?

- Of course.

- Mm-hmm.

There are two.

And how many of your cousins

have you hooked up with?

Also two.

I'm Benny.

Carmen.

Tim Watkins

was tagged in a photo.

Here's to the

nights we'll never remember,

with the friends

we'll never forget.

My roomie-a*s b*tch and I are throwing

a pregame in our dorm tonight.

You should come.

It'll be a night we don't remember

with friends we won't forgive.

Uh. What?

Uh, sorry. It We will remember

the night We won't remember

The people is what we will

remember and shall always cherish.

- We can workshop it.

- Yeah.

Tonight.

Bro, Amanda is

not a k*ller. She's an empath.

I don't know. I feel like I

can't show up to my first pregame

- without bringing something so Please.

- Okay. I'm just doing this once.

What kind of vodka do you want?

Maple-syrup flavor.

Something like that.

Flavored vodka? Adults

don't really drink that.

Jesus. Take it easy on the guy.

- We're just teasing. It's fun. Right?

- Yeah. It's fun.

Thank you.

You watch the game last night?

Oh, it was f*cking crazy.

Not that crazy. They tied 0-0.

Yeah, it was a nail-biter.

So, uh, how the freshman

ladies treating ya?

- Any, uh Any hotties?

- Definitely.

This one girl actually

invited me to her pregame,

- so that's what this is for.

- Oh, sh*t, Bento!

Yo, bring b*tch to the

Beta house party tonight.

I'll wingman for you.

Sick. Yeah, um, what time?

Uh, late.

All right, great.

Like 8:00? 8:15?

- Bento, you're f*cking with me.

- Like 9:30 or

No earlier than 11:00.

Oh, okay. Yeah. That's great.

I love the night.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. So

I'm gonna help you seal

the deal. All right?

Tonight sets the tone

for the rest of college.

Either you're a

dude who f*ck or

nah.

Nah. No um.

Nah, I'm

I'm definitely gonna

f*ck some vag*na tonight.

Okay.

Weird way of saying it

- Yeah. Yeah.

- but I like your spirit.

- Legend.

- Yo.

- Oh, sh*t. You know that? You know that.

- Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

- That's tight.

- Yeah, my friends and I used to

- bird call.

- Nice.

- Nice.

- Mmm. Yeah.

- You lying to me?

- Yeah. No. I mean

Here.

Two handles of regular vodka,

so you don't get laughed at.

See, I'm nice.

- Yeah you are, real nice.

- Thanks, sis.

And that's nice.

Oh, okay.

- All right.

- That's awesome.

Later, Bento.

Definitely, Pete.

Do you like her?

- Uh

- For, like, a threesome?

It might be fun.

- Wait. For real?

- Yeah.

I've always wanted

to, and it might help.

f*cking Grace for the win.

Tonight, you f*ck.

Oh, what's that?

- f*ck. It broke.

- What?

Yeah.

- Shall we watch music videos?

- Yes.

Seal the deal, Bento.

You're not nah.

Roomie.

No.

Whatever you're doing, no.

- I think take it off.

- Oh.

Attagirl.

I'm just gonna fix your

hair after this, okay?

Oh. Yeah, if there's time.

There's always time. Especially

if you're gonna get d*ck tonight.

- Yeah.

- d*ck.

Wait. Let me guess. No.

Are you still with a

boyfriend from high school?

We left things

kind of open-ended.

I definitely want to f*ck

other people in college.

Miss him.

Show me a photo right now.

You're perfect.

Gimme, gimme.

Good for you for pulling that.

Oh. Thanks, girl.

No, no, no, no.

No.

He be f*cking, babe. I mean, he's

f*cked this girl multiple times.

Like, this photo

says everything.

No, are you sad vibes now?

No, I hate that.

Oh, and don't be that girl.

No. No.

No, I'm not that girl.

I'm like you guys.

I'm this girl. What?

Hey. I be f*cking too.

- What?

- Attagirl.

- You just need some college d*ck.

- Oh, college d*ck is so much better.

- So good.

- It tastes delicious.

Okay, throat sl*t. You're nasty.

Like, I just need you to

have a night-one hookup

because I don't want anyone to

think you're a sad, lonely freak.

Oh, oh, totally.

I invited this guy I met at

orientation to our pregame.

That's my roomie!

- Carmen's gonna get f*cked.

- Night-one f*ck.

- I'm gonna get f*cked.

- Yeah, say it louder.

- I'm gonna get f*cked.

- Loudest you can do.

I'm gonna get f*cked!

Mr. Iowa.

Idaho.

I know.

I brought vodka.

Maple syrup flavor?

No.

My sister said that I should bring

plain, but I would have done maple syrup.

Great minds think alike.

You wanna come in?

Yeah.

- That's my roommate, Hailee.

- Oh.

- She's

- Ew, my knees look f*cking nasty.

You shut up. I'm

obsessed with your knees.

- Your knees are hot.

- Both your knees are better than mine.

No way. Your knees are

literally the best.

- Take it back.

- No, I won't.

I will not.

- Sorry, can I fix something?

- Yeah. Oh. Oh.

- Yeah. Uh-huh.

- It just would've bothered me all night.

Thanks.

Drinks?

- Yeah.

- Oh, okay. Yeah.

- What's up? My name's Chris.

- Okay.

I'm actually a DJ. I make

playlists on Spotify.

Sick. My dad left

my family for a DJ.

Sup. You remember me?

Amanda Knox's cousin.

Okay.

She would have loved

you, by the way.

My sister's boyfriend is

having a party tonight.

- It's mostly seniors.

- Oh. Cool, um

Maybe I'll see you later?

No, I I was inviting

you to come with me.

Oh, my God. Yeah. No, let's go.

Let me just go to the

bathroom real quick.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's happening.

You be f*cking.

Oh, my God.

You sure you're finna f*ck her?

'Cause I don't wanna let you have her

and then you, like, drop the ball.

No, I mean, it's

it's gonna be a pork fest.

f*ck.

Are you Are you okay?

I need to find something.

My brother said if

if you don't get laid

night one, it's bleak.

How bleak?

Hello, Yates U!

We are 51st Yates, a-thank you.

And we're going to improv the night

away. All we need is one word.

Any word, just shout it out.

- Queef.

- Queef.

We've got queef.

Hello, cheerio, sir.

I'm Mr. Queef.

Yeah, that's not

gonna be me, dude.

But good luck.

I'll f*cking k*ll you.

So, do you have a girlfriend?

Nah.

- No.

- Really?

You seem like such

a girlfriend guy.

Pretty picky, I guess.

Hmm.

- And you?

- No, not picky at all.

Tim Watkins

was tagged in a photo.

Let's take a selfie.

- First day of college

- Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Uh, okay.

Here's to the

nights we'll never remember

with the friends

we'll never forgive.

Okay. Um. Here.

You

- Hey.

- Yo, Bento.

What's good? Damn. Who's this?

Uh, this is Carmen.

Uh, hi.

Hi, Grace.

Uh, what is this ratio?

One guy, one chica?

How 'bout one chica, six chicas?

Did you follow us?

Roomie

with the party hookup.

- Attagirl.

- Yeah, attagirl.

Come on in.

- Okay.

- I want alcohol. Do you have that?

- You can only f*ck one of us.

- Come on in. Hi. Hello. Watch your step.

Hey. Peter.

- Um, what the f*ck?

- Peter invited me.

Yeah, because you're my brother.

See? You're my brother.

Not the other way around.

This is my school. You're

not f*cking taking over here.

Jesus, Grace. Got it.

My stepdad loves golf.

Very nice.

Actually, come in.

Um, Peter, did you wanna

play pong with Benny?

- Benny loves pong.

- Oh. Yeah?

You gonna play with your

girlfriend?

Oh, she-she's not my girlfriend.

Okay. Well, come on in.

Come on in.

Seal the deal.

Hey, that, uh, freshman

girl seems fun.

- The blonde one?

- Mm-hmm.

- Go talk to her. Yeah.

- Okay.

Let's f*cking go.

Oh, f*ck.

- Oh, sh*t. I'm so sorry.

- No, it's cool.

I actually I kinda

wanted pink eye

- Okay. Yeah.

- so this works out well for us.

- Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

- Yeah. Yeah. No, you're welcome.

It's the least I could do.

- Are you sure? Okay.

- Yeah. Yeah. Please.

Take it away from me.

Whoa!

- She's so good.

- Okay.

I just used to play

with my brother and his friends.

Um. You still have pong water.

There you go.

Yes! f*ck yeah!

Well done, kiddos. Well done.

- Yeah, well done.

- Sucks to suck.

What the f*ck?

Uh

- Enjoy the party, Bento.

- Yeah.

Whoo!

Call all the ladies out ♪

They're in their finery ♪

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come.

That's how easy it is to fake

it, so really remember that.

Sorry

Their skin in

craters like the moon ♪

The moon we love like a brother

while he glows through the room ♪

Dancin' around

the lies we tell ♪

I love this song.

One of the great

songwriters of our time.

I've never met a guy

that likes Lorde.

They don't dance ♪

Oh, yeah, no, I, um

I think she's sexy.

You'll never see on-screen ♪

You think Lorde is sexy?

Yeah.

How to run things ♪

Livin' in ruins of a

palace within my dreams ♪

Not as sexy as you though.

We're on each other's team ♪

I'm kind of over gettin' told

to throw my hands up in the air ♪

So there ♪

So all the cups got broke

shards beneath our feet ♪

But it wasn't my fault ♪

And everyone's competing for

a love they won't receive ♪

'Cause what this

palace wants is release ♪

We live in cities you'll

never see on-screen ♪

Not very pretty but we

sure know how to run things ♪

Wanna go back to yours?

Um, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

A palace within my dreams ♪

And you know ♪

You're being boring.

Like, really bad.

Oh. We missed

the last shuttle.

- No. No, no, no. Um

- Like, should we call it?

Wait.

Okay.

- Oh, my God. What the f*ck?

- Whoo!

- Whoa, whoa!

- Some of that.

Oh, my God!

Those slugs know they

can't catch me vroom, vroom ♪

Beep, beep, so let's

ride vroom, vroom ♪

b*tches know they can't

catch me vroom, vroom ♪

Cute, sexy, and my ride's

sporty vroom, vroom ♪

A little bit of this

Let's do the Chief Keef

Young Money ASAP Ferg medley.

Okay?

One, two, three, four ♪

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. What the

Slow down. Oh, my God.

We're going too fast.

Stop, stop, stop! No, stop!

Slow down. Oh, my God.

- Consent. Yeah. Consent. Okay. Okay.

- Yeah. Oh, yeah.

- Um

- Oh.

Um Oh, okay. Oh.

- Is that weird? Oh, I can

- No, no.

- I support it. Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

- Oh. Okay. Yeah, fine.

Okay.

Oh.

Oh, um

Look at those t*ts.

Oh. Look at those t*ts.

Oh.

Oh.

Is every Is

everything o-okay?

Yeah, yeah. I just have to go

to the bathroom, I have to pee.

I'll be, uh

I'll be right back.

- One sec Oh, f*ck. Um, yeah.

- Oh, my God.

I'm just gonna Um,

I'll be right back.

- Yeah.

- Ok

Okay.

Hi, Megan Fox.

Get it up. You got it.

Come on, Benny. Get hard.

Come on, Benny.

I believe in you.

Hallelujah,

hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

Hallelujah ♪

I'm hard.

Oh. Yay.

Oh. Okay.

- Whoa!

- Oh, my God. Oh, f*ck.

What's up? I'm Trey. You

must be my new roommate.

Hi, Trey.

- It's nice to meet you, man.

- I'm Benny.

Uh, I'm Carmen.

Cool, yeah. I'll just,

uh, grab my gear.

Yeah.

I ate one of your Clif Bars,

Trey. I'm sorry, I'll replace it.

Dude, don't even sweat it.

See you, Benny.

See you, Trey.

Bye, Trey.

I broke my p*nis.

I got a tonsillectomy.

Hey, kiddos. Wanna see

the night I met your papa?

He's in love. That's like

They're gonna go the distance. Yeah.

Can we address your sister?

- Oh, how she's a c**t?

- Whoa.

Sorry. A little aggressive,

but she is a c**t. So

No, i-it's fine.

I just feel like I've

never full on said it.

Now you have to.

- Yeah.

- Sorry.

Okay.

c**t.

You feel better?

- You good? Okay.

- Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I think so. Mmm.

- So, do we like the boyfriend?

- My parents love him.

He's He's great. Yeah.

We have to address the

elephant in the room.

We kinda can't not.

You and I stole a golf cart.

Yeah. Oh, my God.

The Catholic guilt I feel

internally is all-consuming.

- Catholic guilt?

- Yeah.

I I was around guys

who smoked weed in high school,

and I wrote my dad

an apology letter.

- No.

- Yeah.

I thought you could get pregnant from

giving a blow job until I was 16.

You can. Yeah.

Did you parents not

give you the talk?

Us talking? No. They

don't really care.

I'm getting the feeling

your parents cared too much.

Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, there was definitely

pressure on me to be perfect

at sports and school,

but I also wanted it.

If that makes sense.

Mmm. Yeah. Maybe.

I feel like it was like

that for my brother.

Are you and your brother close?

We were, yeah. Um

But he's not here anymore.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry.

Me too.

c**t.

- Yeah, I've created a monster.

- Mm-hmm.

I'm a DJ.

I'm a DJ.

- You're a DJ.

- I'm a DJ.

- You're a DJ.

- I'm a DJ.

Tim

Watkins was tagged in

Mmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, I thought it

would be more, like

- Yeah. Like, more

- Yeah.

Yeah.

It's kinda too long.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

I'm cold.

Stepmommy, could you share

some of your covers, please?

I know.

You sleep okay?

- Oh!

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, no. I'm not No, no. Stop, stop.

- I'm so, so sorry.

- I'm so sorry.

- No. My mom put this there.

It is so embarrassing, so thank

you. You actually did me a service.

And I'm sorry

- if it's weird I stayed.

- Oh!

I-Is everything okay?

It's cool.

It's cool.

- I'm glad you did.

- Okay.

Um, I guess before I destroy any of

your belongings anymore, I'll go.

Um. Would you wanna

go to the dining hall?

- For breakfast or something.

- Oh. Sure.

I-I love

a morning food. Yeah.

- Morning food. So good.

- Uh, okay.

Yeah. Great.

My f*cking eye!

They

must have hooked up.

Aw,

yeah. He f*cked her.

She

totally f*cked him.

Yo, Bento!

My man sealed it.

Food sucks, don't bother.

You be f*cking.

Happy first day of classes!

- Come get some free sunglasses!

- Come on, guys.

- They're free. They're so cute, right?

- Here you go.

Is my eye really noticeable?

No.

Okay what's

your first class?

- Creative writing. You?

- Econ.

- Oh. He's in the business school.

- Yeah. Yeah.

My dad insisted and Peter's in it too,

and he has a job after graduation, so

- Sounds well-planned.

- Yeah.

- I'm Wanna hang after?

- Meet up after?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm down.

Cool.

Bye, Carmen.

Oof.

Welcome to the Yates Business

School and Economics 101.

Webster defines economics

as a social science

concerned chiefly

with the analysis

- Is this Intro to Film Studies?

- No.

Second door on the right.

As I was saying, economics is

where you will be trapped for

the next four years of your life,

Benny, if you refuse to

make a choice of your own.

For once, dear God, just do it.

Make a choice. Like, what the

f*ck are you still doing here?

Do it. Make a choice. Now!

So, we will begin

with the concept of

Uh, excuse me. Sorry.

And they say

she's so lucky ♪

She's a star but

she cry, cry, cries ♪

In her lonely

heart, thinking ♪

If there's nothing

missing in my life ♪

Tim Watkins

was tagged in a photo.

Why do these tears

come at night? ♪

You

unfollowed Tim Watkins.

So lucky ♪

But she cry, cry, cries in

her lonely heart, thinking ♪

If there's nothing

missing in my life ♪

Then why do these

tears come at night? ♪