01x02 - Beware the Glasses Girl

[bunniefuu]

- Okay, lazy bones.

It's time to get up.

Come get your breakfast

while it's hot.

[birds chirping]

You've become such a

waste of space.

Come on, Max!

Max, let's get moving.

[Demon Lord gasps]

Wait, is he even breathing?

Hey, Max!

Please, you hang in there, Hero!

[Max gags]

[Demon Lord groans]

["One Room Adventure"

by MADKID plays]

[water trickles]

Where do you think you're going?

Hey, Max.

- [Max] Out.

- What's that supposed to mean?

I'm going with you.

- Huh? Like hell you are,

you tiny pain in the a*s.

- Do not talk to me like that!

Are you embarrassed to be

seen with me or something?

- Quit acting like

you're my mother.

Can't go walking around

in public with a demon.

If you wanna leave

the apartment,

you gotta do something about

that third eye and those horns.

[door slams]

- Very suspicious.

Makes me wonder

what he does every day.

Perhaps he's doing

some sort of secret training

in preparation for our

inevitable rematch.

I must confirm my suspicions.

Oh, I know.

I'll use my special transmog

magic to disguise myself.

Shape shifting is a

demon lord's special talent.

[Demon Lord cackles]

What form shall I choose to

take in this day and age?

Let me think.

I believe my dearest Zenia

called this outfit

a school uniform.

Perhaps I should turn

myself into a student

of a more appropriate age.

Metamorphose!

[rock music]

[Demon Lord giggles]

There we go. This is perfect.

Looks like my magic

weakens when I lose focus.

Must be vigilant.

[horns boing]

Wow, look at all this.

The human realm sure has changed

over the last 10 years.

They've built a lot of

tall buildings

and they've really upped

their transportation game.

The human race never fails to

impress me with their ingenuity.

- [Passerby] Check it out.

- Oh my God.

- Is she serious?

- [Demon Lord] What kind

of place is this?

Oh, I see.

It's a shop dedicated to

watching movies and stuff.

Why wouldn't you just

watch at home?

Okay, Max, let's see what

you're up to out here.

He's gotta be

around here somewhere.

[traffic hums]

Aha, there you are.

Right, commence

Operation Stalker.

Prepare to reveal

all your secrets.

[funky music]

[Demon Lord whooshes]

He's going inside that shop.

Well, that was fast.

What did he get?

[can cracks]

Ah, what's this beverage?

[Max grunts]

Yeah, I don't think he's

secretly training for anything.

[birds chirping]

- Can't believe it.

I didn't even, I mean,

I could do, it's just-

[Max grumbles]

- Is this really how

he's going to spend

his whole damn day?

- [Yosuke] Look, there he is!

Hiya, Mr. Hero!

- Huh?

- [Max] Hey, buddy.

- Huh? Thank goodness.

There are still people

who idolize Max as a hero.

- You wanna play soccer

with us, Mr. Hero?

- Well, I'm pretty busy,

but sure. Why the hell not?

- Day drinking again?

You are such a loser.

- [Yosuke] You're a big guy,

so it's gonna be

us three versus you.

- [Max] Fine by me. Bring it on.

[children grunt and laugh]

[Max chuckles]

- Oh, what's the matter?

Can't you little munchkins

get the ball from me?

- [Yosuke] No fair. You're

supposed to go easy on us.

- Take this!

[kick smacks]

- Oh, now you've done it!

Pesky little ankle-biter.

[children laugh]

You hearing me?

10 years ago, I fought off

a whole swarm of demons.

Slash, slice, stab! Like that.

- Whoa, awesome!

- Oh!

[children and Max laugh]

- Okay, so

he's hanging out with

a bunch of little kids

and he's fitting right in.

- [Mom] Yosuke, come here!

- Crap, it's my mom.

I'm sorry, guys. Sorry, Max.

I gotta get going.

- Okay. Take care, kid.

- I should probably

head home, too.

- Oh yeah?

- Well, the truth is,

my mom says

I'm not supposed to

play with you anymore.

- [Max] Ah, well, you be good

and listen to your mom.

- [Satoru] See ya.

- My parents don't care what

I do one way or the other,

so I'll come back and

play whenever I want.

Here you go.

- Appreciate it.

- Okay, I'll tell my mom

you said hello. Later.

- I'd rather you didn't.

[Max yawns]

[Max snores]

- Why didn't he just go

back to the apartment?

This is pathetic.

Maybe I should head home

and start getting dinner ready.

- Yo, old timer.

- Huh?

- You know you can't sleep

on park benches,

you fricking deadbeat.

- [Jerk Green] Wake up,

d*ck-wad.

[Max grunts]

- [Jerk Blue] Get off

your a*s, loser.

- You got a problem here, buddy?

- Whoa, hey,

take it easy, fella.

Don't you have any idea

who you're dealing with?

- [Jerk Green] Who gives a sh*t?

Just a street bum who

needs to get dealt with.

- Gotta say, I'm surprised

the cops haven't taken care

of his sorry a*s already.

- How's about we give the cops a

hand and do their job for 'em?

[Max grunts]

- Ah, sh*t.

- [Jerk Green] Go ahead, b*tch.

Why don't you gimme

your best shot?

What's the matter?

You scared?

[Max chuckles]

[Demon Lord gasps]

- No, don't, Max.

Just let it go.

Don't do anything stupid.

- You pissy little smart-asses

ain't even worth my time.

If you feel all manly now,

go on home.

- Oh.

[jerks laugh]

- What you gonna do,

get your stink on us?

- Oh, don't do that.

- f*ck off, old man!

[kick smacks]

[Max grunts]

- [Jerk Blue] You know, this

park would be a much nicer place

without pieces of sh*t like you

slumming around.

- [Jerk Lips] I think you

need to apologize,

a public statement of

what a sad loser you are.

- I don't know if he's

listening to you.

[jerks groan]

[Max groans]

[Jerk Green snores]

- That was my hypnosis spell,

"Sleep Mind."

Fear not, Hero.

Those miscreants

shall not harm you.

[Max scoffs]

- If you saw the whole thing,

why didn't you help me sooner?

[somber music]

- [Demon Lord] Sorry about that.

It was not my intention

to embarrass you.

- Ah, whatever.

I'm sure you can see

what I was talking about.

I ain't the

big hero guy anymore.

I drink myself numb

in the middle of the day,

parade around like a hot shot

for a bunch of brats,

and then get beat on by pricks

without being able

to fight back,

although I was getting close

to knocking their teeth out.

g*dd*mn, I'm pathetic.

- Don't say that!

You were right

not to hit them back!

You gotta be the good guy!

- It's a little corny,

don't you think?

- "If you feel all manly now,

then go on home."

- What was that?

You want a piece, too?

You making fun of me?

[Demon Lord cackles]

[Max growls]

- I'm kidding! I'm kidding!

I thought you sounded cool!

Come on, let's go home

and eat dinner.

What do you want me

to make tonight?

- I need to go make

a quick stop first.

I'll be home by dinner time.

- Huh? Where are you

going this time?

- [Max] Don't worry about it.

- What the hell?

This guy's a real piece of work.

What do you want for dinner?

- [Max] Hamburger

something or other.

- Garnish with potatoes,

green beans, and

Oh, I've got an idea.

There we go.

I wonder what was so important.

What would that brainless hero

need to do?

I'd like to believe he's not

out drinking again,

but I'm sure he is.

[flamenco music]

[Max grunts]

[birds cawing]

[Max gulps]

[cheery music]

[Demon Lord hums]

- Holy sh*t, look at this.

That is one hell of an outfit.

- I'm home!

[Max grunts]

You hungry enough to eat now?

- Yeah, sure. Did you see

that crazy sleaze bag

walking by the complex just now?

- No, I guess not.

I didn't see anything

out of the ordinary.

- It was insane.

She was practically naked.

[Demon Lord scoffs]

- What happened to you

humans having morals

and a sense of decency?

Okay. Food's ready.

There's plenty, so eat up.

You could at least

say thanks, you know?

- Yeah, yeah.

Thanks, I guess.

[doorbell rings]

- A visitor?

Be right back.

Don't start without me.

- You don't gotta answer it.

It's probably just some

dumbass salesman anyway.

- Yes? How can I help you?

[Zenia whimpers]

- Dear lord, Your Grace.

Thank God you're all right.

- Zenia, what are you

doing here?

Didn't I tell you to

wait at the castle?

- You told me that you'd

be back in no time

and to have your supper ready.

That's the last thing you said.

[Max grunts]

[Zenia snarfs]

- I see she still has

a healthy appetite.

- All I see is our dinner

quickly disappearing.

[Zenia gulps]

- [Zenia] An excellent

meal, milord.

Even your skills as a chef

befit a ruler of demonkind.

- She demolished that sh*t.

- Oh, that's okay.

We can just go and buy

something else.

- That really hit

the spot, milord.

Do you, like,

maybe have a toothpick

or a flosser or something?

- The hell is wrong

with this woman?

- Please excuse

her poor manners.

Oh, and her name is Zenia,

my personal secretary.

- A secretary?! Her?!

Are you sure she's

qualified for that?

- Now, don't be rude.

I am the faithful servant

of the Demon Lord.

With naught but firm

devotion to his grace,

I, Zenia, trudged across

the barren landscape

for three days and three nights.

- You walked all the way here?

- She probably didn't

think use any

of the transit systems

you humans have made.

- [Zenia] It was

a difficult journey.

The humans would point at me

as they passed by,

sneering or giving me

bizarre looks.

I suffered emotionally

as a result

of their irrational

prejudices against demons.

- Yeah, I think it has more

to do with your outfit.

- Come along, Your Grace.

We must get you

back to the castle.

- Zenia, where is

this coming from?

- [Zenia] The longer you

associate with this

washed up deadbeat, the more

brain cells you'll lose.

- Stop it, Zenia.

How dare you be

so disrespectful

after barging in

and eating our food?

Besides, the only reason

I'm staying here is to

experience human society

for myself.

It's my base of operations

for gathering intel.

- Don't be ridiculous,

Your Grace.

You're obsessed with

this human excrement,

if not in love with him.

I see through your facade.

- [Max] Did you just

call me sh*t?

- [Zenia] I thought

you'd come back

as soon as you found out about

the hero's pathetic situation,

but I never imagined this.

- Take the little turd,

if you want. I don't care.

- Excuse me?! You can't even

function without me!

- Your pitiful a*s would die,

if I left you here all alone.

- Pretty sure

I'd be just fine, okay?

- All right then,

since it's come to this,

I shall take it upon myself.

I shall sever His Grace's

ties with you.

Bring it on, Hero.

Prepare yourself.

- Are those brass knuckles?

Is she for real?

- She just can't make

life easy, can she?

- [Max] I thought she'd be

more the type

to use magic or something.

- [Demon Lord] Nah. Zenia's

lack of aptitude for magic

is embarrassing.

- Wait, is that why she

walked all the way here?

- What are you two

whispering about over there?

If you won't bring it to me,

then I'll bring it.

- Could you please

take care of this for me?

- [Demon Lord] Enough, Zenia.

You don't stand

a chance against him.

[Zenia snarls]

[Zenia gasps]

- Give it a rest,

you g*dd*mn amateur.

I put a lot of you

outta your misery

and I don't mind doing it again.

- Oh, knock it off, Max.

She's not a threat.

There's no need to make

a big mess of things.

- Yeah, whatever. My bad.

- And that goes for you too.

Had Max not gone easy on you,

you wouldn't be alive right now.

Go on. Let's hear an apology.

- I'm very sorry.

- Well, now look at that.

Pretty obedient, ain'tcha?

- Yes. Well, I can see

why His Grace

speaks highly of

your strength.

That at least is admirable.

- I'm glad you see it my way.

- You two have a very

strange relationship.

- Okay, calm down.

- You're all covered

in sweat, Zenia.

- I know. Like I said, it was

an extremely long journey.

- Why don't you go take a bath?

- Oh, are you sure? I'd love to.

- Try asking the guy

who owns the place.

[water trickles]

- [Demon Lord] I must

apologize for my secretary's

atrocious behavior.

- [Max] Yeah, whatever

you call it.

She packs a hell of a punch.

I'd say she's stronger than

those doofus punks at the park.

- [Demon Lord] Yeah,

she's pretty tough.

Anyone else would've been

in some real trouble.

- [Max] But it must be

a pain in the a*s

having her for a secretary.

Didn't anyone else apply?

[Demon Lord chuckles]

- Look, Zenia may be a little

rough around the edges,

but when it comes to

gathering intel,

she's the best there is.

I mean, she seemed to know

all about your reputation

before I awoke from my slumber.

- Yeah.

[door creaks]

[Zenia sighs]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- [Zenia] Thank you

very much, Your Grace.

That was just what I needed.

- [Demon Lord] Good.

I'm glad to hear it.

- [Max] I pay the

water bill here.

- The place is a pigsty,

but make yourself at home.

Help yourself to any of

the drinks in the fridge.

- Thank you.

I appreciate it, Your Grace.

- Fine. Do whatever you want.

I am starving.

- Oh, that's right. I forgot.

All right, I'll go

get us some dinner.

- [Max] Okay.

[Max shrieks]

- Remember Zenia,

you are a guest in

this man's house.

Understand? Be nice to Max.

- Yes, of course, milord.

- Hey, wait a second!

You gotta take me with you.

- I'll be back soon!

[door slams]

[Max groans]

[Zenia sighs]

- Oh my God.

- I went ahead and

dug up some information

on your reprehensible

dating history.

You fooled around with

woman after woman

like a lecherous,

whoring degenerate.

Listen pal,

if you corrupt milord

with your unsavory ways,

you'll regret it!

- The hell are you

talking about?

You're not making

any sense.

[Zenia belches]

- And just so you know,

the only reason

you got the best of me earlier

was just dumb luck.

- Yeah.

- If we hadn't been in

the presence of His Grace,

I would've ground your wimpy a*s

into mincemeat with my fists.

- Sure, whatever you say,

- You know what?

You've got a real

attitude problem.

Listen to me, you stupid shitty

wannabe has-been fake hero.

- Whoa, what's the matter

with you all a sudden?

Back off.

[Zenia growls]

- Get your a*s back here.

- [Max] Wait. You're drunk?

If you can't handle one,

then you shouldn't be

drinking at all.

- Huh?

- No, no, no. Quit that.

You've had enough.

- Shut up and just

leave me alone, you stupid-

- Wait, wait.

[Zenia shrieks]

[Max gasps]

- I'm sorry.

It was an accident, I swear.

Don't sue me, please.

Tea, where's that tea?

- How dare you?

Oh, you're in trouble now.

Time to pray to the god

of your choice.

- [Max] Look, you're just

a little tipsy.

Here, drink some green tea!

And please put on clothes!

- You're dead meat.

[tea splatters]

[rock music]

- [Max] Oh sh*t!

[table shatters]

Oh sh*t, she's gonna k*ll me!

- Get back here, as*h*le!

[Max shrieks]

- What are doing?

You don't have any clothes on!

[Zenia snarls]

[Max shrieks]

- Look, Mommy.

That lady's naked.

- Oh Jesus, no!

- Do I know that guy

from somewhere?

[passersby chattering]

- What's all the fuss about

over there?

[Zenia gasps]

- Alcohol's getting to

catch up to you, isn't it?

Can't move so well anymore, huh?

- Don't mis-underestimate me.

I told you mincemeat, jerk-face.

- All right then,

I won't hold back anymore.

The great hero's gonna

show you what he's made of.

[Zenia roars]

- Excuse me, ma'am.

Can we speak with you please?

- Huh?

- We tend to discourage

running around in the nude.

[Zenia whimpers]

Would you mind explaining

exactly what's going on here?

[Zenia wails]

[Max sighs]

- [Zenia] I'm so sorry.

Please forgive me.

- [Police Officer 1]

Jeez, what a mess.

How does someone end up

naked with brass knuckles?

- [Police Officer 2]

Are you all right, sir?

It looks like she was

chasing after you.

- I'm fine.

[Zenia wails]

Yeah, sorry. You see,

she's an acquaintance of mine.

We had a couple of drinks

and things got

completely outta hand

and the brass knuckles are mine.

I was just showing off.

[somber music]

- I really am sorry for

causing all the trouble.

- Ah, don't worry about it.

- Max the Hero, huh?

- [Police Officer 2] Huh?

- You're the one who put

his life on the line

for us 10 years ago.

You're the only reason

our world still exists

and I'm grateful for that.

- So you recognize me, huh?

I'm sorry we had to meet

under these circumstances.

[birds chirping]

- For the events of last night,

I sincerely apologize.

My secretary's actions

were unacceptable.

- Ah, it's whatever.

Did she end up going

back home or what?

- [Demon Lord] Oh, about that.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, that must be her.

- [Max] We get a delivery?

- It's your new neighbor

from unit 205.

[coffee splatters]

I just moved in next door,

so I came by to say hello.

- I assume you've

completed the paperwork.

- Of course, and the apartment

was move in ready.

- [Max] Wait, now let me

get this straight.

You just moved in?

Right next door to me?

- Regardless of what happened

between the two of us yesterday,

I'm still convinced that you are

not a trustworthy individual.

I would never forgive myself

if something happened to milord.

So I intend to keep a

close eye on both of you.

Plus it's a good opportunity to

gather intel on the human realm.

- Why is this happening to me?

- This apartment shall

henceforth serve as a foothold

for the demon invasion!

[Zenia claps]

- Gimme a break.

- I look forward to

working with you, milord,

and you too, Max.

[birds chirping]

[bleak music]

- This woman would

appear to be a demon.

Very interesting, Max.

["Mirai=Teleport"

by Nenne plays]