01x02 - Rookie Mistakes

[bunniefuu]

You don't look super happy,

-so let's talk about this.
-Yeah.

Obviously, you know,
we went for a different vision.

I'm not digging it.

Okay.

Just f*cking ruined my day.

I have a house full of people,

they're watching me tour the owner
in her own property,

and she has complete disdain
on her face.

Her negativity could really affect
potential buyers.

So, let's move into positivity. Follow me.

[Michael] Damage control time.

So, when you come in here,

you obviously see
a completely different layout.

Wow. This stuff is so low, like...

-How do you get up when you sit down?
-So, yeah.

I'm gonna be very honest.

The whole point of designing this house
the way we did

was for that particular buyer.

It doesn't matter what you think,
it's what the buyer wants.

What I'm thinking is,
is some guy that buys this house

is gonna f*ck his girlfriend,
and he needs a higher bed.

[laughs]

[Patti] Men like high beds
so you can f*ck doggy-style.

But you can f*ck doggy-style on the bed.

You put your knees on the bed,
and you're perfect.

If it sells my house...

[upbeat music playing]

♪ Let's go ♪

-[Peggy] How is Sam feeling?
-[Michael] Great.

I said that she is the vessel to my child.

-She is.
-She's a ship,

and she's just delivering my child.

I love how dramatic you make things.

I need your advice on something.
So, supposedly, the newest fad is

-a push present for my wife.
-What is that? Push present?

-A push present.
-Something she hugs while pushing?

No, like a diamond bracelet. Or a new car.

When did this whole
push present start?

-I don't know, but it's a wonderful idea.
-What?

That's like something
the millennials made up.

I told her,
"The ring on your finger is enough."

I do appreciate Sam taking care of my baby
in her little tummy for nine months.

Do I think it warrants a push present?
Debatable.

I carried him in my ba*ls for 30 years.

[laughs] All right?

What man started this,
so I can go fight him?

-[Noel] I am not the guy to ask.
-[laughs]

I have a baby coming
at the busiest time of the year.

Push present is the last thing on my mind.

I need Patti Shack sold
so I can bank that commission.

[Peggy] If you get her the Cartier,

put a little diamond or the birthstone.

You know how they have little things?
If you have another kid,

it could just be that one again
and that kid's birthstone,

and go on from it.

Yes, honey, yes.

I got you guys.

I did not even think
that I would have to buy a push present,

but I am going to follow suit,

because I'm gonna do the right thing.
I love my wife.

[J.B.] Noel, what's going on
with Marine Boulevard?

[Peggy]
Did you get the deal?

Um... Maybe.

-[Peggy] This is a no answer.
-Yeah, I know.

-"Maybe!"
-I'm so secretive.

[Noel]
This deal is very, very important for me.

I'm always of the belief
when you share information,

that you put yourself
in a better position to do deals.

Noel is a little bit more
on the secretive side.

I think it's a tactic

to better position himself competitively
against us.

[Peggy] Tell us more.

I threw out what I thought
it could potentially be worth.

What about the number 35?

Thirty-five million dollars
for this house.

Would you sell it then?

-I got it.
-Awesome.

-And what are you listing it at?
-I put it at 30, 35.

Fifty-two hundred square feet,
six bedrooms, seven bathrooms,

close to an acre.

Fifty-four hundred square feet,
less than an acre.

It's gonna be tough for him to sell
because it is overpriced.

That's probably the highest
listed property in that area

by 15 million.

-It will be hard to find a buyer.
-I'll be ready.

I think I've done things that are
much more stressful and strenuous

than selling multi-million-dollar houses
in the Hamptons.

My confidence comes from
just swinging at the plate.

When I sell this house,
I'm gonna be the oceanfront guy.

I'm gonna pass Jimmy up.

You have to do a transaction before you...

[all laugh]

[Michael]
Gotta walk before you run.

I like to start in the penthouse
and work my way down.

Oh, no way.

-What?
-What?

Oh, my God! What the--?

-It's Noel!
-How are you?

-[Michael] It's Noel.
-[Jimmy] Wait--

Let me to introduce you.
This is Peggy. "Deals in heels."

My twin brother, Joel,
flew in from Korea this week

to celebrate our birthday.

This is a big deal.

We've seen each other three times
in the past eight years.

I'm the younger of the twins.

My brother is about seven minutes
older than me,

but I am an inch taller.

Mike, my brother is an actor in Korea,

-but also does modeling.
-Get outta here!

-You have that modeling connection.
-[Michael] Okay. Cool.

Yeah, so I was with Major in Milan,
Next New York, Elite, Wilhelmina.

I know all of them. Yup.

I was 17 years old in Manhattan,

just going to visit my father at his job,

and I stop at Starbucks to get a drink,

and some crazy person
comes up to me and says,

"You can be
an incredible high-fashion model."

And I was literally dropped off
at JFK Airport

and sent to Malpensa in Milan,

and I just started going on castings
and taking over.

I worked with Alexander McQueen,
Dolce & Gabbana, Armani,

did all that stuff.

He was, like, 300 pounds.
This dude was huge.

And he shed a lot of weight.
He shed 120 pounds

and it was, like,
an unhealthy shedding.

Our diet was toenails and cocaine.
No, I'm kidding.

What's your name again?

-Joel.
-[Peggy] Joel.

[Michael] Joel and Noel.

He's been telling you his name is "Nole?"

-Yeah.
-When it's Noel?

-Yes, yes!
-What?

Every time I mess up your name, I'm right.

I don't know if his name
is "Noelle" or Noel,

but I'm "Miguel" on Saturdays.

A year and a half ago,
I changed it to Noel.

-It's Noel. "Noel?"
-Who are you?

-I am...
-You're not P. Diddy.

-You said "Joel."
-That's so weird.

You guys are so the same. It's so crazy.

I think when we were younger,
we were very much the same.

I knew he wouldn't be thrilled
I'm pronouncing my name

in a way that does not rhyme with his.

-He speaks fluent Korean.
-How would you sell a house in Korean?

-How much does the house cost?
-33 million dollars.

It's on the beach. The ocean.

[in Korean] I have a really nice house,
right on the beach.

If you live in this house,
your life will only get better.

Whoa!

Sold! Where do I sign?

I have no idea if he was telling me,
"screw off" or selling a house.

Sounds he could do a better deal
than his brother.

Maybe you could help us
peel those layers off Noel.

-[Jimmy] Maybe.
-That's my goal this year.

-Peel the layers off my brother?
-Yeah.

The first layer is to call him
by his proper name.

-Noel.
-Yeah, Noel.

Make a decision right here, right now.
What it's gonna be.

-Pressure's on.
-What?

-[Michael] Noel, or "Noel?"
-Let's go "Noel." Fine.

-Noel!
-You heard it!

[Michael] Joel and Noel.

[electronic music playing]

[J.B.] I think the biggest draw
on this property

is that it's a very high elevation
in Southampton.

A lot of glass, so a lot of light.

Six bedrooms, six and a half bath
on one acre,

overlooking these, like,
beautiful woods on each side,

horse farm, and then beyond that,
you see the ocean.

The one problem here is that

it's summer
and the house isn't done yet.

Finding a buyer with an open mind

is probably my best shot
at getting this sold quickly.

-It's a workout.
-It is.

[tools whirring loudly]

-[J.B.] What's going on?
-This is Steve.

-J.B. Nice to meet you.
-How are you?

-Come on in.
-Thanks.

[J.B.] Sure. Construction site.

Oh, wow. Big renovation.

If you really like this, you can make
changes on the back end

and customize it.

So, Steve recently completed a project.

So, you're familiar
with this sort of work?

Not to this scale.

I was thrown off.

I knew the house was under construction.

I didn't know that I was walking
onto a live construction site.

It was a $4-million home.

This started out
with a $300,000 renovation,

turned into a $3.5-million renovation.
Essentially a gut.

Just quick stats.
A little over 9,000 square feet.

Let's get this fly outta here.

Don't--

-[both chuckle]
-All right.

[J.B.] It's six bedrooms, six bath,
and it sits on just over an acre.

And we do have really good sight lines,

so it's really, really pretty.

-Lots of value here.
-And flies.

-This fly is really bothering me.
-He's all over you.

Oh, God.

-You wanna see the house?
-Yeah.

Starting out as a real estate agent
in Hamptons, extremely difficult,

almost near-impossible,
to get that first listing.

It's been a big goal of mine

to establish myself
as a real estate agent.

If I get this sold fast,
I could really build off that.

So, the kitchen here...

The only little funky thing,
and you guys actually...

-Being a builder yourself--
-I'm not a builder.

-What?
-I'm not a builder.

-He did a project.
-Why did I think that?

-I went through renovations.
-Sorry.

I couldn't change those light bulbs.

[laughs]

-I apologize.
-Yeah, no worries.

-Really nice appliances, obviously.
-[Steve] One sink?

They were supposed to put in
one over there, I believe.

Might've changed.

Um, that's the other thing.

There's a lot of changes happening.

This could be den, living room...

-We'd definitely make it a dining room.
-Dining room.

I'll take you guys upstairs.

The master suite.

[Steve] Oh, wow. I love the ceiling.

Is that the polo grounds?

Yeah. Beyond that, the ocean.
So, it's really, really pretty.

-[Steve] Great.
-We'll continue.

Fourth floor.

[Steve] Lot of steps in.
I don't like that.

[J.B.] What a perfect day
for you to see this.

Third-highest point in Southampton.

-What do you think?
-[Steve] Magnificent.

This view does sell itself,
no two ways about it.

-But getting up to it, it's challenging.
-It's tricky. That's a good point.

And this backyard space, a little tiny.

Price again, J.B.? Was it mid--

We have it listed at 9,495,
so nine-five.

-Nine-point-five.
-Yeah.

That's gonna be a challenge.

[woman] Oh!

The owner and builder
and mastermind behind it.

This is a surprise.

What are you doing?

I'm just touring our potential buyer.

-Steve Margolis. Pleasure.
-How are you? Nice to meet you.

Let me just have a word with you
for one second.

-Sorry.
-No worries.

-Cameras?
-Yeah.

You didn't tell me you were coming by.

-You gotta give me a heads up.
-I know.

I figured you were so busy--

No, but you can't show
this house like this.

Place looks horrible.

J.B.'s got the pressure
of the owner being around

You see the sweat.

I'm not sure how to react
or how to respond.

It's Real Estate 101.

You wanna avoid having the owner there
at all costs.

He just got done with a renovation
a couple years ago.

-Uh-huh.
-He's in that building world.

He understands all this.

He actually wanted to see it
kind of in this final stages here.

I should've gave you a heads up.
I apologize.

Is he seeing it because
he wants to buy to live in?

It's either for him or he actually
may have a client interested.

This is from Noel.

I'm still trying to learn
more about the situation.

I never looked at a house where the owner
is around, especially a passion project.

You bring a buyer,
not gonna say no,

-but give me a heads up.
-Trying to get it sold.

If she's here, how much can you say?

Sorry. Sorry. Just wanted to show him
a couple things that just got delivered.

Okay.

[Nadine] Let me help you.

Come on, let's go take
a little bit of a look.

You don't need J.B., you got me. [laughs]

Come on.

["Come Get It"
by Altitude Music playing*

[Peggy] This is Talia.
Talia and I used to work together.

-[Noel] How often do you do stuff here?
-Never, really.

It's nice to know people out here, because
I have a lot of clients in the city, who--

You could bring a buyer
for something I'm on.

-Exactly.
-All mine.

I don't know. Today is my birthday.

-Happy birthday. Good to see you.
-Thank you.

-Hi. How are you? Good to see you.
-What's up?

-[Talia] Do you work in real estate?
-I do.

The birthday boys! Noel and Joel!

-[Peggy] Fulfree!
-What's good?

-I think you're Noel or Joel.
-You got it right.

-What's up? What's good?
-How you doing?

Thanks so much for coming.

-I'm Mike. A pleasure.
-[champagne pops]

[all exclaim]

-[Peggy] That was happening.
-Chindon, salud!

[Noel] I almost never celebrate
my birthday, ever,

let alone with my brother.

I'm excited to show him Hamptons
and my life that I've built for myself.

We've got some small bites,
a few of my close friends.

This is the way to do it in the Hamptons.

-There you go!
-[Peggy] Oh!

-Yeah. Good?
-Molto bene?

-Good stuff. Look at that glitter.
-Look at that glitter.

-Happy birthday.
-Happy birthday.

I think the cellist has arrived.

Hey, Mike! Anna, Chloe!

I wanted one thing on my birthday.

A cello player. That's it.

This is a party.

I can't get a f*cking cheeseburger?
He's got a cello player.

That's totally Noel. I'm not surprised.

[playing classical music]

[Chloe] Has she dropped?

-[Michael] She dropped.
-So, the baby should be out.

-That's so stressful.
-It's so stressful.

Not like the movies.

It's not like, "Oh, bae!
I'm having a baby!" Like...

I'm gonna become a father during the peak
season of real estate in the Hamptons,

and my wife is
about to give birth any minute.

I am in a perpetual heart attack.

Car seat's in. It took me five hours.

And my huge fingers,
I couldn't get into the thing to clip it.

-Your fat fingers are like...
-Yeah, I'm like...

I was literally taking advantage
of my seat.

[laughing]

And the neighbors are coming out.
"Do you need help?"

"I don't need help."

They went out to eat and they drove back,
and I was still out there.

[Noel] Who's ready for ping-pong?
Anybody?

I had my enemy looking at me.

-[Noel] Ready to do this?
-Am I ready?

-Let's go.
-What?

[Michael] Noel might have played

ping-pong, but doesn't know
who he's dealing with.

I won the Celebrity Cruise line
junior ping-pong championship.

I brought my f*cking game today, bro.

-This is going down?
-This is going down.

[J.B.] Stretch it out.

Oh, boy!

Growing up,
my dad was a huge ping-pong fan.

Joel and I were, like,
five or six when he started us off,

so it was like a real
Serena and Venus Williams kind of a thing.

He forced us to play ping-pong.

We spent a month in Shanghai,
I competed in Junior Olympics.

We were really embraced by, like,
a lot of people who put us on shows.

We actually left high school early

just so that we would be free to travel
and compete in ping-pong.

[Anna] What is that?

[Noel] Serve up.

[Anna] Oh, my God, he's...

[Mike groans]

Zero-one. Your serve.

-[people laughing]
-[Michael] Venus Williams.

-[Noel groans]
-Yeah!

-Oh, my God.
-Yeah!

-Oh, my God.
-I got a point!

[all laughing]

All right, one-one.

-Hit that on your side!
-[all exclaim]

Two-one. That was legal.

Can you stop that sh*t?

-[Anna] Oh, my God!
-[all exclaim]

-[Michael shouts]
-[all laugh]

-What are you doing?
-Cello! Get in there.

[Noel] Four-two.

[Michael groans]

Okay, just...

[Michael groans]

[Jimmy] Mike, line up.

-It's okay, big boy.
-Come here.

We got it.

-Gross, no.
-I need water.

[Jimmy]
Cracking under pressure.

-He's got me.
-Listen. Shh.

-He sees my weakness.
-Calm down.

-He sees my weakness.
-No, he doesn't.

No, no, no. Keep your feet,

-swing your swing.
-[Jimmy] J.B., no matter what you say--

[man] All right. Whose serve?

Six-two.

[all laughing]

-[J.B.] There you go.
-[man] Oh!

There you go!

-Boom.
-All right.

[all exclaim]

That was a pretty good match. Respect.

-[J.B.] Can I get winner? Okay?
-Come on.

Yes.

[all exclaim]

So, real talk.

How did you come up
with 35 mil for Marine?

I want to know 'cause I have buyers--

You've come to me,
on the day of my birth,

when I'm surrounded by my brother
and my friends... to talk business?

Yes. I have, like, interested buyers,

so, that's where I need your help.

So you need help pitching this

-to maybe a potential client?
-No.

I don't need help pitching it.

It sounds like you need me to give you
the words maybe...

Well, if you're gonna start talking
that way...

What do you want?

I need to understand
where the number came from

so that when I do go
to my client and say, "Hey,

this is a beautiful place for you,"

they don't say, "You know what?

I could purchase, like,
the one next to it for ten

and put ten, 15 million of my own into it,

make it my dream home,
still be five million less."

They're not. You wanna know why?

They don't wanna take
the years it took

to get the permits and the approvals
and all that stuff.

That's what you're paying for.
For the time.

-Are you writing all this down?
-No.

-Oh. Heard it before.
-I've heard it before.

I'm dealing with the top of the top.

The pool of buyers for this property
is that big.

I have the cream of the crop
with buyers.

And you think
they can afford this property?

I wouldn't bring them to you
if they couldn't.

So, the fact that you come to me
and ask me

if I think they can afford it is--

It's bullshit. Don't diminish me
and say do I have qualified buyers.

-No, that's--
-I would never bring you

someone that wasn't qualified.

That's my promise to my clients to check.

That's my promise
to being a real estate broker.

From a buyer's standpoint.
Just my promise to check.

Don't bring anybody to the property
if they can't afford it.

I don't need his attitude.

I have well-qualified clients
from all over the world

that I can actually bring.

I wouldn't waste my time or his time
if I didn't.

So, let's just...

bring my buyer through.

We'll take it from there.

[Noel] This is not only
my priciest listing,

but this is also the highest listing
in the Nest Seekers Hamptons office.

The ultra-luxury market is defined
as anything that's over $20 million.

The buyer for this house
is gonna be somebody

who can afford to buy something
at this level that is turnkey.

They don't wanna wait 2, 3 years
or deal with builders and architects,

and they wanna immediately enjoy
their new home.

-Hello.
-[Peggy] Hello!

-Noel Roberts. Justin?
-How are you?

-Nice to meet you.
-Good to meet you.

Welcome to this
beautiful Amagansett oceanfront.

Justin is a client of mine
that works with other investors.

He seeks...
Whether it's a business or a property,

he seeks great investments
for his clients.

Through Justin, I build one relationship,
but I have access to all his clients.

Out of curiosity, what are the type
of people in your network?

I've had a diverse background.
Been in tech, startups,

and I have people
that I've met over the years,

and I keep track of interesting businesses
or unique real estate.

-Mmm-hmm.
-And this is unique.

I'm a little bit disappointed.

You know, I've explained to Peggy
multiple times

that I wanted to be selective
as to who I bring.

That was my promise to Sandy
and I wanna maintain it.

This showing is a little bit tough,

knowing that I'm not speaking
to the buyer.

So, I'll give you the tour.

Ideally, we wanna bring them through
to experience it themselves.

If it gets to that, sure,
but this is initial.

People looking at this price point
won't spend the time.

They first... I help people find stuff.

-Mmm-hmm.
-That's how it is.

Well, I might disagree with that.
A lot of them...

-Noel likes to disagree.
-...do like to touch and feel.

Oh, no. Eventually.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Anything over five or ten million,
most of those buyers have a Justin,

where they have someone seeking properties

and doing all the due diligence
before they even step foot into it.

You're immediately welcomed
by this monorail system

and the stainless steel balloon.

-Who is it?
-I don't know the artist.

What is the art?
Can you describe the details?

No, I can't. I'm not sure
about who the artist is there.

I can find out.

-We could find out, sure.
-A 100 percent.

Okay.

[Peggy] Here's the kitchen.

[Noel] On the second floor, why?

We wanna take advantage
of these second-floor views.

You can see the ocean...
better than most of the homes here.

All top-of-the-line appliances.

One fridge? Two fridges?

-Two.
-Okay.

Try again. It's one.

It's not my listing, but I know it.

-[Peggy] What do you think?
-Could you imagine waking up to this?

[Justin] Absolutely.
The view here is fantastic.

What's the acoustics on the glass?

-What's the acoustics?
-Yeah.

-Can you hear much from--
-[Peggy] Is it double-pane?

These are very thick. Hurricane-grade.

-You can't hear that much from the inside.
-Okay.

-Shall we check the master?
-Yeah.

-[Noel] Full blackout.
-Yup.

I'm very familiar with this system.
It's pretty much standard at this point.

[Justin] Did you guys do
charging stations?

-Any of that?
-No charging stations.

No touchless charging, USB, anything?
I'm just wondering what the tech is.

[Noel] Here, you are welcomed by...

[Justin] Okay.

Yeah, this is a big view. And the solar.

There you go.
You've got well and solar for efficiency.

Okay. Tell me a little bit about that.

Gosh. I don't know much about the solar.

I'm sorry I'm asking a lot
of technical aspects of things,

'cause there's certain things I assume
at this kind of property.

-Here's the question that I'm gonna get.
-Sure.

Compared to other homes in the area,

that have the same view,
this one is significantly more.

Correct.

By... a lot.

-Sure.
-Right?

See, this house?
The value comes from what I like to call,

"Try and do this yourself
in a reasonable time."

Okay. It's three times more
than anything nearby, and so--

When you tear down a house
on the ocean

and build something custom
to this caliber, double the price,

when it comes to oceanfront
here in the Hamptons.

The price was originally
like ten, so, that's why

I wonder why it's now triple the price.

Now, you've gotta take into account
the build-out costs here.

I won't tell you
the exact build-out costs here,

but to build something of this caliber,
at least 1,500 a foot.

5,000 square feet at 1,500,
you said, to redo?

Still, that's way underneath.

Starting at 1,500. Then you're gonna
add in a lot of other extras.

-75. Seven-point-five.
-Yeah, so 75.

-Seven-point-five.
-Yeah.

You buy it for 10,
redoing for seven-point-five,

you're at 17 and a half.

-So...
-It's a little bit more than that.

Okay, say 20.

I'm actually embarrassed listening to Noel

try to pretend
like he knows this property.

I just assumed that
with all the attitude and arrogance,

he would have the answers.

And what I'm wondering,
is this their dream home?

-This is their dream home.
-That they built?

I think that's why the price is so high.

Is because they're
emotionally connected to it.

You wouldn't go into
a Rolls-Royce dealership

and ask for a significant discount.

Whoa, whoa. Okay, if you want to...

[laughs awkwardly]

This is not a Rolls-Royce-type dealership.

This house is like a work of fine art,

where the value of a piece of art
or a Picasso, for example,

is purely worth what the buyer
views it as being worth.

If Peggy and her buyer
don't see the value,

this might be out of their range.

You're purchasing something
that someone loves.

Their pride and joy, so he's saying,
"I don't wanna sell it."

If you owned this, if this was yours,
you wouldn't wanna sell it, right?

You'd wanna come in every day

-and look at this.
-You'd let it go for the right price.

For the right price.

-For the very right price, yes.
-Yeah.

-What's up?
-[Noel] Good morning.

-Hey. Morning.
-[J.B.] How you doing?

-Good, how are you?
-Good.

I've been selling real estate in New York,

one of the most cutthroat markets
in the world.

I've never met another broker
as rude as Noel.

I was embarrassed for him
and that my client witnessed that.

It's difficult for me to make
eye contact with him right now.

Peggy, look,
I don't think that went very well.

It was probably the worst showing
that I've ever had.

After I left that showing,
I just didn't feel good.

-It wasn't good.
-Yeah.

On every single level, it was not good.

♪ I don't care what you say ♪

♪ I don't care how you feel ♪

♪ You just know where they crack ♪

♪ Hey!
I make the damn rules ♪

♪ I don't care what you say ♪

♪ I don't care how you feel ♪

♪ You just know where they crack ♪

♪ Hey!
I make the damn rules ♪

♪ Girls do it better
Girls do it better ♪

♪ Girls do it better
Girls do it better ♪

♪ Girls do it better
Girls do it better ♪

♪ Girls do it better
Girls do it better ♪

♪ I make the damn rules ♪