01x08 - k*ller Voices: Part II

[bunniefuu]

[WAILING]

-He's dead!

-Really?

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

No!

[GRUNTS]

I wonder if the concert is canceled.

If it is, I get it but it's just something

And what am I gonna do with this?

-Who could've done such a thing?

-Not your tattoo, Gilbert.

Who could've k*lled Bran BcBillan?

[SHOCKING MUSIC PLAYING]

MAN [OVER SPEAKERS]:

Not that I'm complaining, but why is there

There are so many funeral homes

it's lucrative for food franchises

Plus, food does put a cork

You know what you should do?

After a night

after you've been dancing

you should come here and have

Yeah, I'll tell my college friends.

All of them.

WOMAN: Number 12,

Welcome.

Programs? Tissue?

Chips and salsa?

Who could've k*lled

I'm not trying to stir up any sh*t,

Now, why would I k*ll him?

Well, now you're the best male singer

How dare you. I'm not a brother k*ller.

-You mother...

Stop it. Stop. Stop titty-twisting.

He's undershooting my nips

What do you think I am, a cow?

Broda, I know this is a weird time

but sister to sister, girl,

your breath smells

These mints, they were given to me

Here, have one.

I don't want anything

He was a grade-A as*h*le.

He's not even cold yet.

You are such a heartless b*tch.

You're such a fart-less Mitch!

Everybody shut their holes, all of them.

Maybe I'm glad I don't have siblings.

What can I say? They all came out breach.

It felt like pushing open TV trays

And then we did what all parents do:

We just kept them alive

Wait, so which one died?

-I'm not sure. How many do we have?

Since we're parents, we get free tacos.

Our deepest...

I'm starting to think

wasn't as trippy as we think it was.

How the fink do you reprimand

You got Bran, Branda, Brody, Broda.

How the hell do you even keep up

It's just too many Bs.

Well, your name is Billy Bills, sir.

-Get out of here, Gilbert!

I just can't believe he's gone.

We didn't hate him at all.

Aw. Sad.

My condolences, you guys.

Um...

Could you just, uh, sign your statements?

And, also, this one on the bottom too,

if you could, under your photo.

Uh, uh-uh. Ahem.

Gilbert. We talked about this

Come on, man. Not today.

Welcome, everyone.

I am here to be Bran BcBillan's

I will be lovingly tucking him in

You might be wondering

Well, our toe-tagger here...

[SOBBING]

Sorry.

Our beloved friend and brother

died in a b-boy spin position

Oh, we tried.

We dropped a shitload

And tried to steam him out.

Even put him between a couple of F-150s

and, uh, he wouldn't budge.

Got to tell you, in all my years,

I've never seen anyone get that hard

I believe that Bran was poisoned

Ask any fruit rat.

It takes you from zero to stiffy

Anyway, please put your hands together

[WHOOPING]

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

sing one of our hits

that our beloved brother, Bran,

used to love to shake his gorgeous a*s to.

It's called "Moon Dust."

Oh, "Moon Dust."

Awful dust.

[PIANO PLAYING JAZZY TUNE]

ALL [SINGING]:

Why don't you shake it?

Like a tater that's steaming hot

Why don't you ding that dam

Oh, yeah

[ALL SCATTING]

Moon dust

[ORGAN PLAYING GENTLY]

[SOBBING]

Oh, no. My brother.

So sad.

Poor pudding.

I'll go get him.

Brody, come on.

Stop milking it.

Brody? Brody?

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

Brody?

Brody!

-He's dead.

Brody's dead. My dead brother is talking

The k*ller used the same poison

But how did they sneak into the funeral?

They confiscated my massage egg.

Oh, boy.

Hey. It's that server from The Honey Pot.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Hi, hi, how are you?

I thought you hated these guys.

You think I'd hurt them? I love them.

One of them put their seed inside of me

Which one?

I don't know. It was a really crazy night.

[SHOCKING MUSIC PLAYING]

HEIDI:

Definitely Bran.

[GURGLES AND FARTS]

Depends on the angle. Look.

HEIDI:

For all we know, you could've had

Yes! g*y science.

You leave me and my baby alone.

I'm sorry we offended you.

But I will confess

I gave your baby vaccinations,

in case you're one

Thank you. I actually did forget.

Now, get the f*ck out of my way.

Can't believe she couldn't remember

That's why I always keep a guest book.

She's clearly not the m*rder*r,

[WAILING]

Who am I gonna laugh with now, huh?

Who am I gonna shower with,

Tell me! Who's gonna gently pat dry

Why? Why my brothers?

They were my favorite siblings.

Why not me, huh?

I can make that happen, you c**t-burger!

I could poison you like this

Branda, you are going to jail for m*rder!

-Pewntz, take her downtown!

-Take her downtown!

BILLS: Put the cuffs on her.

Pewntz, you gotta do better

She's limp and stiff at the same time.

BRANDA:

Ah!

BILLS: Gilbert, you can't put cuffs

-Go get her!

Don't look at me like that.