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01x05 - Touch

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Maamla Legal Hai". Aired: 1 March 2024 – present.*
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At District Court Patparganj, where eccentric staff members strive to dispense justice but not without a few objections, chaos collides with the letter of the law.

01x05 - Touch

Post by bunniefuu »

[registrar]

We'll need two witnesses from your side

and two from yours.

-[indistinct chatter]

-[upbeat music]

[applause]

All right, all done!

Come on, exchange garlands.

[registrar] Go ahead.

Where is Mr. Kishore?

Uh, sir, he's still not here.

Are, Registrar saab,

she never gets any cases.

So she provides

all these legal services for free.

And since she doesn't take fees,

the client also doesn't treat her

with respect.

He's here. He's here.

[Ani] Sir, he's here.

You're impossible!

Who turns up late to their own wedding?

I've been ready and waiting

since last night.

It's Lajjoji who's delayed everything.

She doesn't want to get married anymore.

Why? What's wrong?

Why don't you just call her?

She's not allowed to use the phone.

Why? Is she in school?

No, behind bars.

Where?

Are, she's in prison.

We are f*cked.

[theme music]

[birds chirping]

[VD Tyagi] I told both of you, didn't I?

I wanted these posters to be put up

at all the Patparganj bus stations.

Yes, sir.

[shouts]

Then why haven't you put them up yet?

[Law] Sir, it's not allowed.

We'd have to pay a huge fine.

Are, if we don't pay the fine,

the matter lands up in court, right?

You should have thought of that!

What?

Sorry, sir.

-[laughs]

-[comical music]

Hey, Mintu, they got scared!

[laughing]

Boys, do you know

why I let you come into my house today?

Sir, you said

you were going to treat us to kachoris.

They are not kachoris, they are sorries.

Next week, the election campaign

will be at its peak.

From Jhilmil to Patparganj,

Rohini to Karkardooma,

running up and down,

yelling slogans, "Vote for VD Tyagi!"

Get the car, hunger pangs,

yelling, shouting, the sun burning down.

[breathes deeply]

[VD Tyagi] You get the idea?

I could maybe lose my mind.

And say something rude.

That's why sorry.

[phone ringing]

Yes, Munshiji? Pairipauna ji.

Oh, really?

Okay, ji.

Hey, listen, Tyagi.

Order another plate of kachoris.

-Why?

-[Mintu] Your papaji is coming over.

-[soft music]

-Judge saab is coming here?

[woman] Hey, Manju!

Come on, push harder!

WOMEN'S INMATE CORRECTIONAL FACILITY,

KHYALA DELHI

-[indistinct chatter]

-[women grunting]

6 plus 1?

-[warden] 7.

7 international media houses

were ready and waiting to commission

a documentary on this reform center.

But as soon as I arrived,

they canceled the idea.

-Oh, sh*t!

-What?

-Why, ma'am?

-Protocol.

I have been running this reform center

strictly according to protocol

-for the last one and a half years.

-[mosquito buzzing]

-Not one

-[buzzing stops]

[scoffs]

[exhales sharply]

custodial death,

no hunger strike,

no solitary confinement.

You know, ma'am, it's so great

that you value protocol as much as you do.

And despite that, you're here trying

to meet Lajjo beyond visiting hours?

Actually, ma'am, you know,

it happened all of a sudden.

And even he never mentioned

that his better half was in prison.

But I told you.

He kept saying

Lajjo was "behind bars", "behind bars",

-so we thought she must be a bar dancer.

-[mosquito buzzing]

Who would have thought

he meant prison bars?

[buzzing stops]

[playful music]

I'm making an exception this time

because you are both lawyers.

-Thank you, ma'am!

-[warden] Shut up!

You're going to wait right here.

Shyamali, take them inside to see Lajjo.

[upbeat music]

Wow.

[gasps]

So beautiful!

[Ani] So elegant!

Just looking like a "wow"!

It's so It's so

[Ani singing in Hindi]

Like a cob of millet! ♪

Lajjo stitched it herself.

[Ani] Wow.

She's the most talented inmate

at our vocational center.

-Really?

-Yeah.

Lajjoji, what happened?

You're sitting here

in this beautiful bridal dress

and no glow on your face, huh?

I don't wanna do

this fake drama for formality.

Hey! Come on, drama queen!

If we miss the date today,

we'll have to wait

for another month, okay?

I don't care about that.

The hell with these stupid dates!

I don't even want to get married outside.

-You want to get married in the jail?

-I mean in the temple.

Lajjoji, please be clear.

You wanted to do it in jail

or in the temple?

The temple is in the jail.

Oh!

[praying in Hindi]

[in English] You know,

the priest in our temple,

he has a very big heart.

[priest continues praying]

Whenever he comes to conduct a wedding,

he brings the keys along with him.

-What keys?

-[Lajjo chuckles]

Do you see that cabin, madam?

[bird screeching]

[Lajjo] After the wedding,

the priest would open the cabin

for the bride and the groom.

Oh.

Oh!

But madam, this new warden we have,

she says we can't get married here.

We have to go to an office

and do it legally.

The bride and groom will go to Patparganj,

sign the register

and go their separate ways.

What's the fun in that?

That's no way to get married.

Madam, I want my time in the room.

[Ani] Don't worry, Lajjoji.

We'll arrange

for an extended parole for you.

-And then you and your husband can

-She's not eligible for parole.

They don't sanction parole

for inmates serving life imprisonment.

She's lucky the warden is letting her

go out and get married.

And you, go inside!

[playful music]

Didi, why don't we request the warden

to let Lajjoji get married here?

If they do it at the office,

the poor thing won't even be able

to touch her husband.

That's so sad.

So sad?

What's so sad?

It's not enough

that madam's getting married?

Now we have to help her

with her horniness as well?

Why just a room?

Why not AC, blankets, nightie,

candles, buffalo, everything?

Didi, if she could only have a mo

[music stops]

Why buffalo?

Why?

Doesn't the groom need milk for stamina?

[scoffs]

She behaves like a virgin,

but I doubt she's one.

You know, Didi,

she's a lot like us. Just FYI.

She may be like you, but not like me.

You better mind what you say.

I just mean that she has desires too.

She has feelings and emotions.

If she has some sex,

what's wrong with that?

-"What's wrong with that?"

-Yeah.

-What's wrong with having sex in jail?

-Yeah.

Are, a judge sends these women to jail

as punishment and not to

[inhales deeply]

get themselves spanked.

This may be normal in foreign countries.

They have started this in Punjab too.

-This?

-[playful music continues]

In our very own India Punjab?

-Inside the jail?

-Yes.

Two hours every two months.

All the prisoners over there

are given a room just like this one.

Oh, God, has the whole of Punjab

lost its mind?

Punjab will now be famous for banging

and not for bhangra.

[clicks tongue]

Didi.

If they remain sexually deprived,

then the temperament

that lead them to commit a crime

will only get worse

when they're released back into society.

How is that any good?

[scoffs]

Talk about blackmail.

"Let us have sex

or we will break the law again."

Didi, let's just talk to the warden once.

Please.

[whooshing]

-Candies again?

-Yeah.

-Dadu.

-Hmm?

I'm adopted, right?

That's why

you don't get chocolates for me,

only these candies.

No, beta. Why would you say that?

[SD Tyagi]

I used to give these to your father too.

[inhales deeply]

Don't get taken in by him.

This is Roshan Tyagi.

-The most mischievous boy in his school.

-Ow!

-Section 323! 323!

-Really?

Should I list the sections against you?

Your innocent face just cons everyone.

If Dadu gives us candy,

I'm going to give him the truth.

-[chuckles]

-Okay. Now go and play on your PS4. Go on!

[laughs]

His rebuttals are out of this world.

[VD Tyagi] Yeah, only his

English needs to improve a little.

The rest is just fine, I guess.

[VD Tyagi breathing deeply]

[pensive music]

So tell me, Judge saab,

how come you are here?

Just like that.

[soft music]

[Ani] Lajjoji.

-Lajjoji.

-Huh?

Could you please sign this document?

We're gonna take up this matter

with the warden today.

Hmph. This is the first

official application of its kind.

Subject: Room needed

for inmates' horniness.

-[soft chuckle]

-[Lajjo] Madam.

I don't want the room because I'm horny.

I want it so I can be a mother.

[somber music]

I'm serving 20 years.

With 15 left.

By the time I get out,

I'll be 48 years old.

I can't become a mother then.

[Lajjo] If I don't have a family,

then what will I do

after getting out of here?

You tell me, would you be able

to live without your family?

Lajjo, have you thought this through?

I don't think

Kishoreji can bring up a child on his own.

Are, why would he do it?

I'll bring it up myself. Right here.

Here?

Behind bars?

What future will the baby have in prison?

Why, Salman is doing very well.

-[playful music]

-Now who the hell is Salman?

-[Shyamali] This is Salman.

-[Ani] Hi.

And she is Reshma.

As-salamu alaykum.

-Walaikum-walaikum

-Uh Assalam.

[Shyamali]

And this is our maternal care center.

Reshma got parole

for three months sometime back.

Once she got paroled,

who could stop her from going out?

-And when she came back, she was pregnant.

-[Salman cooing]

[soft chuckle]

And then who could stop Salman

-from coming out?

-[Reshma] Yes.

[Shyamali] Now in the manual,

there are clear-cut protocols laid down

on how to take care of mother and child.

From her medication right up to her rest.

Totally 22 pages.

The care that Reshma and Salman

have received this past year

is according to these protocols.

Yes!

Forget my in-laws,

my parents wouldn't have done

so much for me.

[Reshma] I have already decided.

I'm going to give birth to few more kids

before I get released.

-Good idea, huh? Huh?

-[Shyamali] Okay, okay. Enough.

[playful music continues]

If Reshma is allowed, then

Lajjo shouldn't have a problem.

[Salman whimpering]

I met Jaitleyji.

What?

Jaitleyji and I met.

He had no idea that you were my son.

When the topic of the elections came up,

he said you were far ahead

in the Delhi Bar Association's

election for president.

What else did he say?

He also said that he had requested

all the lawyers in his firm

to vote for you as president.

What did I tell you?

[VD Tyagi inhales sharply]

Jaitleyji complained about me

and that has upset you?

No, no, no.

No one complained to me.

And nor am I upset.

I was just a little worried.

So I came over to give you something.

[soft music]

This kara

was given to me by a colleague

when I became a justice in the high court.

Since then

every time I pick up my pen

to write down a verdict

the weight of this kara questions me.

Are you making

the right decision or not?

And now I am giving this to you

so that

you can finally find

a moment of clarity in your life.

[chuckles]

Judge saab, when the same colleague

was backing his children

off to boarding school,

you sent me not even to a convent school,

but to a local government school.

And when the very same colleague

was handing over

all his contacts, his networks,

his chamber to his children

I was going from chamber to chamber

with my degree in my hand

begging for an internship,

did you know that?

[tense emotional music]

Judge saab, when the same colleagues are

supporting their children

as their careers take off,

you bring a kara from one of them

and present it to me

so that I can find some clarity

in my life, seriously?

[SD Tyagi sighs]

Vishesh, beta.

With great power

comes great responsibility.

No, Justice saab. No!

You're wrong! I'm sorry!

With great power comes great power!

You're not concerned about

whether I'll take the right decision

or wrong decision.

What you're really worried about is

whether my antics will tarnish

your pristine reputation.

[breathing heavily]

Judge saab, you don't need to worry.

I'm not saying

that I won't get up to my antics, I will,

but I won't ever let your name

be tarnished.

Because thanks to you, you made sure

no one here knows

that VD Tyagi is the great

Justice Sarveshwar Tyagi's son.

No one has a clue, Judge saab,

so how can I destroy your name?

Don't worry.

[birds chirping]

[somber music]

[Sujata] Ashaji, I have to say,

you run this prison very efficiently.

I've seen a lot of great men,

but it's rare for me to see a great woman.

[Sujata chuckles softly]

We had a request.

Uh, could you please allot a room

so these women could have conjugal visits?

[mosquito buzzing]

[buzzing stops]

[crackling]

Don't the prisons in Punjab

already have something like this?

[Asha] Uh-uh-uh

Madam, not any prisons,

male prisons. Male.

Why?

Because males don't get pregnant,

now do they?

But these wretched females

do get pregnant.

And then

we have to follow strict protocols

while taking care of both,

mother and child.

S-So what, ma'am?

Following protocol has always been

your passion, right?

Yes, yes.

But only when there is

a budget for it, right?

-30 plus 1?

[Asha] 31.

31 rupees, per prisoner, per day

is the budget here.

These experts have so easily written

this big manual on natal care,

but they forgot to tell us

where the money will come from.

We don't even have enough funds

to buy extra sanitary pads

for the female inmates.

That's why when Salman was born,

I had to cut the hair oil budget

of the under-trial inmates

to create the funds.

Now what if this Lajjo has a baby?

Poor things will lose

their toothpaste supply.

So please help me

just celebrate their wedding

and say no to sex.

[sighs]

BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE

IN THE WORLD

[Ani] Didi.

Why is this world so complicated?

[officer] Come on, move!

-What is so funny?

-[prisoner laughing]

[Ani] Every crossroad has a statue

of a great man standing there.

Pointing in the direction we should go.

But how do we find the funds

for that trip?

No one bothers to tell us.

When you don't have funds,

you need to go on a Dandi March.

What do you mean?

[whispers]

Let's take both of them

-to Patparganj Court.

-Yeah.

-And let them have sex there.

-Yeah

Are you mad? You We can't do this!

How are you gonna do this?

Are, no problem.

I just have to quickly phone a friend.

Who are you gonna call

No, no, no. You You can't trust him.

Didi, don't! Didi!

[clicks tongue]

-[SD Tyagi] One, two, three, four!

-Three, four.

[SD Tyagi chuckles]

Dadu, don't bring candies next time.

Only chocolates, okay?

[chuckles]

Dadu will try to remember that, beta.

Okay, go inside. Go.

[birds chirping]

Parents who never hold

their children's hands

when they start walking

their children still learn how to walk.

But parents who never want to let go

of their children's hands

their children never really learn

how to run.

[pensive music]

Bye, beta.

[car door closes]

-Let's go.

-[car engine starts]

[Roshan] Bye, Dadu! Bye!

[phone buzzing]

Yes, Sujata. Tell me.

Tyagiji.

I need your help.

Sujata, can I talk to you later?

[Sujata] It's urgent, Tyagiji.

Your help could be

the start of a happy family.

[soft music]

Tell me.

[laughs]

You don't even need to ask, Tyagiji.

Article 26 is the right of every citizen.

It should be observed in every office.

Yes, Tyagi Sir.

Tell me who do I have to scare?

You don't want me to scare them?

Okay.

Excuse me.

Uh do you have a Bengali makeup kit?

[shopkeeper] Huh? Bengali makeup?

Yeah.

-[Sujata] Registrar saab

-[registrar] Hmm?

-we have a small request.

-Tell me.

Please allow her to follow

her customs and traditions.

Where's the need for that?

As per Article 26

[registrar] Are, we don't need to get into

the details of Article 26 anymore.

Huh? Tyagiji, your president,

he just called and requested

that everyone's rights

under Article 26 be respected.

[registrar] So please go ahead.

Uh which, uh, custom is it?

-[Shyamali] But sir

-Sir, uh

in their culture, you know,

the bride does her makeup

like this for her marriage.

[quirky music]

But this is Bengali makeup.

And this is Lajwanti Kaur. Huh?

Actually, sir,

she identifies as a Bengali.

Yes, sir.

Even her pronouns are Aamar-Tomar.

Oh, yeah. I'm a full Bengali inside.

Yes, she's Bengali. Bengali.

[ululating]

-[ululating continues]

-Sham. Sham. Shh!

Wow! That's amazing!

Diversity in unity.

-[Sujata] Yeah.

-[both laugh]

Madam, should we have some tea?

Huh? Should we?

Are, how much longer will it take?

[Ani] World average is about 13 minutes.

But then every woman's different.

What?

First she didn't want

to get married at all.

[Shyamali]

Now she wants to with full makeup on.

[screams]

[chuckles]

I won't bite, don't be scared.

-Will you have some tea?

-No.

-Have some.

-[Shyamali] No!

One minute.

Why are you scared to drink tea?

Your skin is already so dark.

Listen, is your brain

as messed up as your face?

[Shyamali] Get out of here!

How long is this going to take?

One minute

[Vishwas] Madam! Madam! Uh

How long does it take to apply lipstick?

You!

[Shyamali] I thought it was Lajjo.

Where the hell is Lajjo?

[bed squeaking]

Lajjo!

[Shyamali] Lajjo

Is Kishore also in there?

-[banging on door]

-[Shyamali] Lajjo, come out!

Lajjo, come out right now

or I'll break this door down!

[Sujata]

Shyamali, she's not going to come out.

Break the door if you want.

Yeah. Go on. Break it open.

But you know, right?

Violating a woman's privacy

is a non-bailable offense?

-[Vishwas] Correct.

-And, um

we're five eyewitnesses here, so

[bed squeaking]

[quirky music]

How much longer is she going to take?

Who knows? She's a Bengali inside

and a Punjabi outside.

Wow! Wow!

Oh. What the hell?

[door lock clicks]

[panting]

-Double the world average!

-[Vishwas] Hmm.

-Well done, Kishore!

-[Shambhu cheers]

[Ani chuckles]

[Shambhu] I hope my bed is fine.

Did they break it?

-Congratulations.

-[Lajjo] Mm.

[Vishwas] Well done, Kishore!

There goes the budget for toothpaste.

[Vishwas] Are, what an idea, madamji!

[registrar] Hmm.

There!

The marriage is formalized.

[chuckles]

Didi, you were absolutely right.

Tyagi Sir isn't that selfish after all.

[soft chuckle]

[Vishwas] Oy! What happened?

-[Shambhu hooting]

-[Vishwas shushing]

[Sujata]

I told you we should have got a buffalo.

[camera shutter clicks]

[pensive music]

[Law] Uh, sir?

Should I put up these posters

at the bus stand?

No. Let it be.

CASE FILE HEARING

MEMORANDUM

[drawer closes]

[exhales deeply]

INMATE GETS MARRIED IN PRISON.

WHERE TO CELEBRATE NUPTIAL NIGHT?

INMATES SHOWING GOOD BEHAVIOR

CAN GAIN CONJUGAL BLISS

INTERCOURSE ALLOWED FOR INMATES

IN PUNJAB, 2 HOURS EVERY 2 MONTHS

[quirky music]

[closing theme music]